| I know, I'm crazy... More quotes |
| (Smurfs village) Smurf 1- Did you have a fun time last night? Smurf 2- Smurftacular. Smurf 1- Yeah, I saw you leave with Smurfette last night... Smurf 2- Yeah man, as soon as we left... She started smurfin' me. Smurf 1- No smurfin' way! Right in the smurfin' parking lot? Smurf 2- Smurf yeah! Smurf 1- That is freakin' smurf... |
| Peter- Lois, I'm gonna grow a beard. Lois- Peter, you know I hate beards ... Peter- No no Lois, it's time I joined the ranks of great men with beards. Why do you think Jesus Christ was so popular? Cause... cause of all the magic tricks? |
| Actor- But I thought guns were bad. Announcer- WRONG! Guns are good. Did you know that Jesus Christ and Moses used guns to conquer the Romans? |
| Peter- HOLY CRAP! I'm communticating with nature! Uh, tree, if one of you falls and no one is around to hear you, do you make a noise? Tree- Oh yeah, Scott fell over last week and hasn't shut up about it since. Scott the Tree- Oh yeah, go ahead and bitch, but you don't see anyone trying to HELP ME! |
| Black Knight- You see kids your father is nothing but a fizzle! Peter- Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except that one guy who called me a fizzle and then ran off... He got away with it... But most people who call me a fizzle don't get away with it. Well, actually, that guy who got away with it was the only one who ever called me a fizzle. After today... only half the people who ever called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it! |
| Quagmire- Oh, Lois, I'd do everything to you. Lois- What? Quagmire- I'd do anything for you. |
| Mayor West- MY GOD! Someone's stealing my water! Meg- But... It just went down the drain. Mayor West- They hit when you least expect it... (Waters plant) Mayor West- SHOW YOURSELVES COWARDS! I've spent $1,000's dollars of the tax payers money trying to find you theives and I'll spend $1,000,000's if thats what it takes! Meg- You know, I think I have my story. Mayor West- NO! WAIT! You can't print that! Thank god she's just a figment of my imagination... |
| Tom Tucker- Well, I believe I speak for everyone when I say: all the New Yorkers can go fornicate themselves with an iron stick. |
| Peter- At least they don't put their feminine ointments next to the mustard, Lois... That was the worst hot dog I ever ate. |
| Dennis Miller- I don't wanna go on a RANT here but America's foreign policy makes about as much sense as Beowolf having sex with Robert Fulton at the first Battle of Antetum. I mean when a neo-conservative defenstrates it's like Raskalnakov filibuster dioxymonohydrostinate. Peter- What the hell does RANT mean? |
| Peter- I'll handle it, Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once. Brian- Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing? Peter- Oh yeah. |