What is your anxiety? Unemployed? Seriously in debt? Serious illness? Marriage under strain? Unmarried looking for a mate to the point of anxiety? Want to become an Elder or Servant but finding it difficult to get the appointment? Maybe a member of your family has left the Truth? Guiltover some past incident that you cannot forget or forgive yourself for? Plagued with feelings ofworthlessness or inferiority? Worry excessively about the outcome of certain matters in the future? Difficult people that you must rub elbows with at school or at work? Spiritual anxiety? Uniqueanxiety to yourself?
Whatever your anxiety, there's probably little or nothing you would not give to rid yourself of it. We all want to be happy. We all want to minimize if not eliminate the anxiety in our lives. Here's the good news: It can be done! How?
There is a unique and infrequently read scripture in the middle of the Bible. It contains a most effective formula for happiness and most effective weapon against anxiety. Proverbs 15:15.
"All the days of the afflicted one are bad; but the one that is good at heart has a feast constantly"
The "afflicted" one is the individual with a negative viewpoint; an unhealthy viewpoint toward life, towards his circumstances. One who is "good at heart" has a positive or healthy viewpoint. ALL of the days of the "afflicted" one are bad. The one "good at heart" has a feast CONSTANTLY.
We associate happiness with the absence of problems. Proverbs 15:15 suggests a different viewpoint. ONLY THE PERSON WHO LEARNS TO BE AT PEACE WITH HIMSELF AMIDST PROBLEMS WILL BE A HAPPY INDIVIDUAL, GOOD AT HEART. HE WILL HAVE A FEAST CONSTANTLY EVEN WHEN THINGS ARE NOT GOING WELL FOR HIM BECAUSE HE HAS NOT MADE HAPPINESS DEPENDENT ON THINGS GOING RIGHT FOR HIM ALL THE TIME. This is an inside job. It has little to do with who you are, where you live or how much money you have; whether you're sick or healthy, young or old, married or single, Elder or Ministerial Servant, Pioneer or Publisher. It has everything to do with our THINKING.
Training our thinking, learning healthy thought patterns that make one good at heart. When you and I encounter problems that tend to make us depressed, let's not give in to self-pity or regret or guilt or blaming other people or blaming our circumstances, identifying ourselves as a victim. As long as we do any of that, we are going to continue to feel miserable. Instead, let's ask ourselves the question: If I cannot change or improve my situation, what can I do mentally to make myself as reasonably happy under the circumstances as possible? I would not choose to be in this situation, but given that I am in it and cannot change it or improve on it, what mental viewpoint can I train myself to adopt so to make myself content and free from anxiety? That question is an ANXIETY-KILLER.
That's impossible! No one can be happy as long as his problems exist and remain unsolved and unsettled.
Jehovah knows how to maintain his joy and tranquility uninterrupted despite serious concerns that affect his loved ones and him personally. What if you were accused of doing something wrong, something you could be disfellowshipped for; the rumor spreads and most in the congregation believe it? An yet you are innocent. Elders have second thoughts about you and they may even be investigating the matter to see if there is any substance to it. Can you imagine how troubled or unsettled you would be in a circumstance like that? Can you imagine how anxious you would feel until the problem was solved and you were exonerated and the whole congregation knew that you were innocent all along. This horrible situation has lasted 6000 years for Jehovah. His name and reputation are in question and the issue has not been settled yet. Has he been unhappy, depressed, anxious? Sorry for himself? We know Jehovah doesn't think that way. He is concerned but he's not depressed or anxious or worried. Revelation 4:3.
"And the one seated is, in appearance, like a jasper stone and a precious red colored stone, and round about the throne there is a rainbow like an emerald in appearance"
That scripture reminds us that Jehovah is not postponing his happiness until his name is vindicated completely. He is at peace with himself right now while the issue remains as yet unresolved.
Think about the rainbow. It shows that he remains in control regardless of whatever circumstances come his way. Universal and personal issues come his way and he has watched all this suffering and, throughout it all, Jehovah remains in control. Not to say he is unaffected emotionally, but he's not depressed. He's not anxious. He's not worried. He's at peace with himself. He remains tranquil. If Jehovah knows how to control his emotions so as to keep them at peace, he can teach you and I to do the same. It's true, Jehovah is perfect but we are made in his image and we can have a degree of success with this.
How can we apply Proverbs 15:15 to the specific anxieties you and I face in life?
WORRY
Don't confuse worry with a healthy concern to solve problems.
What if you've done what you can with a situation but the worry still grows in your head? You're telling yourself, "I'll have no peace until this whole thing is over with." The answer is to get control of your thoughts and emotions. How is that done? Philippians 4:4-7.
"Always rejoice in the Lord. Once more I will say, Rejoice! Let your reasonableness becomeknown to all men. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious over anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication along with thanksgiving let your petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers by means of Christ Jesus."
Go to Jehovah in prayer and make your problem his problem by throwing your burden on Jehovah. "I know that -- I've been in the Truth for some time and I know we can throw our burdens on Jehovah. Is Jehovah even interested in my petty problems? Some of the circumstances that make me anxious have little or nothing to do with the preaching work, nothing to do with the vindication of Jehovah's name. The problems are unique to ME and what causes ME to be emotionally disturbed about a matter. For that matter, is Jehovah interested enough in ME as an individual? I'm just another one of Jehovah's servants so when I pray to Jehovah on a personal matter, does he take me seriously? How interested can he be?"
Are some of our problems too small to merit Jehovah's active interest? NO. Any problem that we face that affects us spiritually -- school, work -- Jehovah is interested.
Illustration: There are 100 billion galaxies and 200 billion stars in our galaxy. How long would it take you to travel from our galaxy to the next one over going at 186,000 miles per second? 1,400,000 years. And think of it. There are 100 billion galaxies! That's how large the universe is! Now, look at something so unimaginably small as the atom. An atom is SO small that there are more atoms in one drop of water then there are blades of grass in the entire world. Do you see Jehovah and Jesus doing shabby work here, sloppy work as if one said to the other, "Listen, this is so small, no one's going to see it anyway, so let's just slap the thing together real fast and however it turns out . . . " No. Because inside one atom you have the same precision, perfection, interest you see in Jehovah's work in the whole universe. Particles meticulously orbiting at 10,000 mps. What interest Jehovah shows even in small things like our prayers.
Here's another illustration to demonstrate that we should never feel hesitant to bring our concerns before Jehovah even if they're of a small personal nature: Think of a large company -- run by one man but many men work for him. There's a lot of work -- planning next year's schedules and goals. Also, there are minor tasks -- keeping the shelves stocked and the place clean. How much of this is the president of the company responsible for? The whole thing. How much does he do personally? Small percent. He delegates most of it. That's why he has hundreds of men working for him. The principle is: The more he can delegate, the more time he has to work at what he considers to be the most important issues. Issues that are so important that he wants his fingers in it personally. So he decides what is important enough for his personal attention and what he can afford to delegate.
Jehovah runs the largest organization in the universe. He delegates, too. He has human servants working for him. He has angelic servants working for him and other spirit creatures. He's turned the Messianic Kingdom over to Jesus Christ and the 144,000. Yes, Jehovah delegates. But there are some matters that are of such concern to Jehovah that he will not delegate them, not even to Jesus Christ. He'll handle it personally. And one of those matters is your prayers. They go directly to Jehovah. He wants them ALL addressed to him. Now if Jehovah felt that your prayers or mine were so insignificant that he didn't want to be bothered with us, then what would he have done? Delegated the matter to an angel. Jehovah set up no such arrangement. He personally has decided that our prayers are important enough that he wants them addressed to him, and he wants us to pray to him about ALL our concerns. And he wants to hear from us every day, many times a day. Jehovah decided that and we need to take him at his word.
The next time you or I feel hesitant to approach Jehovah in prayer because we feel our anxiety is too small for his interest, let's ask ourselves: "To what angel has Jehovah delegated this matter so that I should pray to him?" Nobody. Obviously, Jehovah wants to hear it. It's his decision to make and he has decided.
GUILT
Many of us are run by guilt. We're cleaning the house; we feel we really should be doing personal study. We're studying; we feel we really should be out in the field ministry. We're out in service and it's, well, I really should spend more time with the children. An we're with the children and, well, I really should be cleaning the house. This is a vicious cycle run by guilt.
We may feel so guilty over a grave sin that it may affect us for the rest of our lives. Do not confuse inappropriate guilt with godly sorrow. They are two different things. Godly sorrow is a positive emotion. Guilt is a negative one. Godly sorrow looks ahead. It leads to an improved relationship with Jehovah. Guilt denies you that relationship. Godly sorrow looks ahead. Guilt looks behind. Godly sorrow is temporary. Guilt threatens to last forever. Godly sorrow attacks the mistake that you made. Guilt attacks and accuses you personally.
With godly sorrow you make a mistake; you're remorseful; you go to Jehovah in prayer and ask his forgiveness, and work at righting the wrong as soon as possible. What led to the mistake? What am I going to learn from it? What changes am I now going to make so as to avoid repeating the error? Enlist the aid of the congregation elders. The feelings of guilt will gradually disappear. But the big question is: What if they don't disappear? What if you've taken all those appropriate steps? The guilt feelings remain; they grow. What can you do?
Get control of our thoughts and emotions. How can it be done? Philippians 4:8.
"Finally, brothers, whatever things are true, whatever things are of serious concern, whatever things are righteous, whatever things are chaste, whatever things are lovable, whatever things are well spoken of, whatever virtue there is and whatever praiseworthy thing there is, continue considering these things."
Fix our minds on thoughts that are healthy and push our minds away from the thoughts that are creating the inappropriate guilt. Does it sound too simple? That's the common response. Consider this: Many doctors in recent years have come to the conclusion that feelings are produced by thoughts. Every time you feel an emotion, it was preceded by a thought and the formula goes something like this: If I can learn to control what I'm thinking, (and any of us can learn to do that with enough discipline), then I can also control what I'm feeling.
Emotions follow thoughts rather than vice versa. From time to time take a moment to listen to your inner stream of consciousness. If it is negative, cynical, angry, pessimistic, it's little wonder that you feel depressed. But by consciously modifying or changing your thoughts in positive directions, even if it's a bit mechanical at first, you begin to break down some of these thought disorders and help yourself feel better. Control your thoughts.
Quotations:
There's nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. -- Author Unknown
Most folks are about as happy as they make up their MINDS to be. -- Abraham Lincoln
What do the scriptures say on the subject? Colossians 3:2: Keep your minds FIXED on the things above. Depressed individuals must work hard to correct their thinking and guard what they ponder on. It acknowledges this can be far easier to say than to do. But when these thoughts come to mind, it says, "quickly dismiss them." Dwelling on them will lead to low self-esteem and deeper depression.
Actually whether we're truly happy or not depends greatly on us. That's why we need to have our thoughts under control. If we find ourselves in an unhappy frame of mind, we might well ask, "What was I thinking about just before I suddenly became so downhearted?" We can give beneficial direction to our thoughts by keeping a particular Bible text in mind for a few hours or even a whole day. And whenever we come across an especially strengthening or comforting text in our study of the Bible, we can fix these scriptures in mind. Then, time after time, when we feel the need, we can repeat these portions of Jehovah's Word. In this way the God of all comfort will aid us and the peace of God will guard our hearts and our mental powers.
The thoughts we harbor in our minds affect the way we feel. If you brood on negative things, you will be depressed. By an act of will, you CAN force the mind to think positive, optimistic thoughts. Think on them.
To summarize:
1.Identify the thought that led to the feeling. What was I thinking about that produced this
feeling of guilt?
2.If possible, talk back to that thought rationally and scripturally. Jehovah forgives our sins.
We still might not feel right, but, over a long stretch of time, it helps.
3.Short-circuit the thought. Drop it like you would a thought of immorality. "Push it out like it
was AIDS."
4.Consciously replace that thought. That can be a real mental fight. But it's important to
replace that thought because those guilt thoughts and feelings are ready to push right back in
micro seconds after you push them out.
5.Illustration: If you plant flowers in a garden, you get flowers. If you plant weeds in a
garden, you get weeds. If you plant nothing in a garden, you get weeds. In the absence of
productive gardening, weeds automatically grow and this is the way our minds work. We
may push a thought out, but if we do not plant something wholesome in its place, if we don't
put scriptural thoughts and spiritual thoughts that are positive to replace the negative ones,
they're going to grow right back in so we need to replace them.
"Isn't this very difficult, though? Isn't it a lot of discipline? Isn't it just plain easier to feel guilty and feel other negative emotions than to go through all this mental discipline?" Yes! It can be THAT hard. Unconditional happiness can be SO difficult to learn. It may at first have to be a forced thing, a matter of discipline, a mental marathon. Some persons, depending on the gravity of the depression, may spend six months, a year, two years or more before it becomes second nature or, at the very least, a little easier. Some persons choose to stay depressed because it is easier, mentally. But happiness is worth the fight and it DOES get easier with time.
Illustration: When you first began to take music lessons, you were perhaps delighted. The whole concept of learning an instrument that you like, you enjoy, was very exciting. You were thrilled at the thought of playing music that you love to listen to . . . but what happens? You start to take lessons and you find it's a lot of work; it's a lot of discipline. You're coordinating finger and mental muscles that have not been used before and so the daily practice begins. And it's a job; it's a chore. But what happens over a period of time? Eventually you learn to play that instrument to the point where you don't even have to think about it. You can be playing your favorite tune and talking to someone else at the same time, or thinking about something else, or just listening to the music that you're playing and entertain yourself with it. It gets easier with time and with practice but at first it's difficult.
Here's an example we can all relate to: Paul and Silas in prison put in the stocks. I (speaker) thought that when Paul and Silas were locked in stocks, they were put in one of these wooden contraptions with the holes and you put your head and your hands in it and sometimes your feet and while I'm sure that eventually becomes painful, from what I've understood, it's primarily a humiliating event rather than a physically painful experience. People come along and throw things at you and call you names and you can't do anything about it.
That's not what Paul and Silas were locked in. They were locked in stocks made for the feet and the way it works is: In these stocks there are a series of holes, each hole getting further and further apart from the other. Now you stretch that person's legs out till he is in agony, in pain. Now you lock them in THOSE holes, leave them in there overnight. Paul and Silas were in agony but what do the scriptures say they were doing? Rejoicing! Singing songs of praise to Jehovah. Do you think it came natural to them? NO! They were not air-heads! You understand, they must have made up their minds to be THAT happy. One must have said to the other, "Listen, we cannot get ourselves out of this situation, we're going to have to make as reasonably a good time out of this as we possibly can. What can we do? Sing to Jehovah? Pray?" That's what they did. See, Paul and Silas were as happy as they made up their minds to be. And they were determined to be happy.
How about Jehovah, himself? He's witnessed the suffering and death of his son, the unfaithfulness of his spirit sons, the suffering of his earthly family, the reproaching of his own name. How does Jehovah keep his tranquility and remain the happy God? Isaiah 53:10-12.
"But Jehovah himself took delight in crushing him; he made him sick. If you will set his soul as a guilt offering, he will see his offspring, he will prolong his days, and in his hand what is the delight of Jehovah will succeed. Because of the trouble of his soul he will see, he will be satisfied. By means of his knowledge the righteous one, my servant, will bring a righteous standing to many people; and their errors he himself will bear. For that reason I shall deal him a portion among the many, and it will be with the mighty ones that he will apportion the spoil, due to the fact that he poured out his soul to the very death, and it was with the transgressors that he was counted in; and he himself carried the very sin of many people, and for the transgressors he proceeded to interpose."
Jehovah chose to dwell on the benefits that would come from Jesus' sacrifice while he was observing the event. Now we know it caused Jehovah pain. There is appropriate pain. There is such a thing as sadness and appropriate sadness. But the depressive sadness or neurosis or anxiety or worry or inappropriate guilt -- Jehovah does not experience that because he's perfect? Of course. But how does he do it? Isaiah says, "He dwelt on the benefits that sacrifice would bring." He chose to dwell on it rather than dwell on the unhealthy aspect, "Oh, if only Adam didn't sin, I wouldn't have to watch my son suffer like this . . . ", and so forth.
Illustration: (We've talked about how difficult it is to force unhealthy thoughts out of our minds and replace them with healthy ones and hold those healthy thoughts in place; keep thinking on what's true and so forth.) And, yet, we've already trained ourselves to do exactly that in a whole different area. Areas such as thoughts of immorality. We come into the Truth; what are we trained to do? Thoughts of immorality are presented to us. We push them out. We replace them. And at first it's difficult, it's almost impossible. But with time, although it may never become second-nature or effortless, it does get easier than it was at first, and so it is with thoughts of guilt and other forms of anxiety.
FEELINGS OF WORTHLESSNESS OR INFERIORITY, LOW SELF-ESTEEM, SELF-HATE
We may think so little of ourselves that we beat on ourselves for every minor flaw; or we second-guess our decisions; or we fail to support our decisions. Maybe we neglect our physical or emotional needs. We refuse to accept compliments from others or good things from other people. Maybe we think of ourselves as having low value in the congregation as compared with others who seem to be making more of a valid contribution to the congregation.
Please do not confuse low self-esteem with humility. They are SO different. Humility is healthy. Unlike humility, low self-esteem is discouraging and actually low self-esteem can have more in common with pride than with humility.
Does Jehovah want you to like yourself? April 22, 1979 Awake!, p.12 says:
"You need to love yourself. Love yourself? Doesn't that sound like the Me generation talking? No, for this is not the self-centered love of the mythological Narcissus, which ruled out the possibility of truly loving others. It is, in fact, necessary to love yourself before you can love others. Modern psychology knows this, but it was acknowledged 35 centuries before today's psychology. Moses wrote at Leviticus 19:18: 'You must love your fellow as yourself.' You are to love yourself, and your neighbor as yourself. We are to love ourselves in the sense of caring for ourselves, respecting ourselves, having a sense of our self-worth."
August 8, 1987 Awake!, p. 23 says:
"A measure of self-respect is necessary. The Bible, therefore, warns against not only thinking too much but also thinking too little of yourself."
A "Young People Ask" article in an Awake! is entitled, "Why Do I Feel So Worthless?" It makes the same point that Jehovah wants us to like ourselves. And just a little scriptural reasoning on it helps: If Jehovah says, "Love your neighbor as yourself," and if I hate myself, if I beat on myself for every minor flaw, second-guess my decisions, neglect my physical and emotional needs, refuse to accept compliments and so forth, now I'm going to love you as much as I love myself. What's going to happen? Right. Obviously, to follow through on Jesus' command, we need to have self-respect, self-love.
Illustration: Flight attendant explains if you need to wear the oxygen mask, and if you have a child with you, first put that mask on yourself, then help the child. Why? Because if we work with the child first and yet we're having difficulty breathing, we may be in no position to help that child. We're in no position to love our neighbors, love our brothers and sisters unless we have first learned how to love and respect ourselves.
But what if you know all this and still you suffer from low self-esteem? What if your feelings are very strong and they grow in your head. What does that mean? The Apostle John wrote that when our hearts condemn us, God is greater than our hearts. The thought here is that the feelings may be strong but that doesn't mean there's truth to them. That doesn't mean that we really are inferior. Feelings can overwhelm us to the point where they seem valid, believable. Otherwise, why would we feel so miserable? Why would we feel so worthless to the point where it seems certain to be true? And yet those strong feelings are wrong. We may choose to give in and believe them but Jehovah knows better. Our hearts tell us it's true, but Jehovah doesn't believe it because God is greater than our hearts. 1 John 3:19, 20.
"By this we shall know that we originate with the truth, and we shall assure our hearts before him as regards whatever our hearts may condemn us in, because God is greater than our hearts and knows all things."
So when assaulted with thoughts and feelings of inferiority, don't weakly give in. Talk back to those thoughts of self-hate. Push them out like thoughts of immorality and don't forget to replace them.
What are you and I worth? Jesus said at Luke 12:6, 7 that we're worth more than many sparrows. Sparrows had price tags in Jesus' day. They sold two sparrows for one cent. The maximum price by law was ten sparrows for four cents. So what about you and I? If Jehovah had to put a price tag on you, what would it say? Well, what did Jehovah redeem you with? Christ's blood. It's true, in ourselves we don't merit that, but Jehovah sees enough potential in us, enough worth, that that's what he paid for us. So you are not worthless, you're priceless in Jehovah's eyes.
And it's interesting that Jehovah redeemed the human race with the same price per person. In other words, all who accept Christ's ransom are covered by Christ's blood. It doesn't vary from person to person in the congregation. Jehovah did not pay a higher price for Circuit Overseers and District Overseers than he did for the rest of us. It's equal, it's the same. In Jehovah's eyes, we all have that same standing.
Illustration: In New York there is a store where all the items in the store are made of glass. And every item in that store is at least $2,000 and up. A paper weight made of glass is $2,000 or a musical instrument made of glass, 3 or 4, or maybe even $5,000. The most amazing thing I (speaker) saw in the store was a woman in the process of buying one of these things. These people actually exist! I couldn't believe it! But okay, let's say you or I are in a store like that. We take one of these paper weights for $2,000 and bring it over to the saleslady and say, "I see the price tag, $2,000, but in my estimation, that's not worth a quarter and I offer you $.25 and nothing more." We'd be laughed out of the store. That's absurd! Everything in that store is obviously of precious value and the price tags confirm it. So, if Jehovah has already put the price tags on us; if he has already determined our value, our worth, and we're all in that same category of being redeemed by Christ's blood; but you or I want to make an exception of that and say to Jehovah, "No, I'm an exception. Maybe the elders in my congregation are worth a lot to you or maybe the pioneers are, but I am worth much less than they are. Not more than $.25 and that's all I'm worth." To Jehovah, that's absurd. It makes no sense at all. And it shouldn't to us.
Conclusion
And in that context, Paul said in verse 9:
"The things that you learned as well as accepted and heard and saw in connection with me, PRACTICE these. And the God of peace will be with you."
The Watchtower says, "Various forms of depressed moods are common. This may happen to Christians. Many have found, though, that preaching the good news has helped them to snap out of a temporary bout with the blues." Then it acknowledges in the subheading that a temporary sad mood is different from severe prolonged depression which is much more serious and complex.
Have you tried it? When feeling somewhat down, try sharing in a form of Kingdom service. Talking to others about God's Kingdom will often help you to change your frame of mind from negative to positive. Speaking about Jehovah and using his word can give you joy, a fruitage of his spirit, and make you feel different. A young pioneer also found that keeping busy in Kingdom work made her realize that in comparison with other people's problems, hers were very small and temporary. Does that sound unreasonable? Does it sound too simple? Conclusion of this talk