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I Can't Love You Anymore Chapter 4 After the words left my mouth, time seemed to stand still as they all took note of my sudden appearance. Finally, my eyes locked with the patient. For a moment, all of the disappointment that I had felt for the past….days….weeks….months….who cared….ceased to exist. And there on the hospital bed….right in front of me…. but above all else, there was a tiny smirk that emerged on his face. “Hey….” were the words that escaped his lips. The way he said it made it clear that he was oblivious to any discomfort he should have been experiencing. Too shocked to say anything, I panicked. Whirling around in the opposite direction, I instead bumped into something….actually, a body….Nick’s to be exact. His form loomed over mine. Leaning over so his face came to eye level with mine and placing his hands on my shoulders, “Whoa, whoa, whoa….Where do you think you’re going?” It came out in an almost relaxed tone. “Um….um….” I stuttered. Not wanting to answer, I just simply looked away. I realized why the room smelled of the scent that struck me when I came in. There were baskets or bouquets of different flower arrangements set in every available space. Along with them were fancy get well cards, now-deflating balloons, etc…. “She’s running away from me again!” AJ called from his resting place. He was trying to be funny, lighten up the mood. In a way, it worked. There was a sound of laughter coming from the rest of the guys that sounded as if it was their first time laughing in a long time. Trying to be some sort of hero and claim some time in the spotlight, Nick took the chance to help me, “Sorry ‘bout that. Didn’t mean to get in your way!” Grinning a little, he guided me towards the seat that Howie had taken the liberty to give up. Of all the places that it was positioned, it happened to be right by AJ…. And I guess those who were present besides me and him felt that it was the perfect time for their departure. With a few “See you laters” and “Glad to see you’re okays” they filed out and shut the door behind them. Now we were alone…. The silence soon came. Once in awhile we’d glance at eachother, but I would always break whatever trance was made by averting my gaze. ‘This is it. It’s just me and him. Together….’ came the fleeting thought. I dismissed it. Now I was just confused when it came to my feelings for the guy who had cheated on me. Out of the corner of my eye, quickly scanning his body involved quite a bit of tugging at my heart-strings. He seemed alright, but then again, he was covered from the neck down with bed sheets. I assumed his condition was much worse, but didn’t feel the need to inquire anything of him at the time. Even though I felt the sudden urge to just kiss him to hopefully make things right again, but I contained it. With all sincerity gone from my mind, all that was left were questions to be answered. “Of all people, why did it have to be you?” “Because I care? I had to search for you…. Don’t you think that it could be destiny that we just happened to have an intersection. If you know what I mean….,” he said softly as the sun rays began to illuminate the room. In spite of the situation, I couldn’t help smiling a little. Just as quickly, I felt the smile disappear. With a solemn tone I asked a simple and subtle question, “Why?” “I want to say that I was given a second chance by the big guy from up above, but I don’t want to lie to you….if it isn’t true. I already caused you too much pain.” He let that sink in and then he continued, “I wish there was some way I could make it up to you.” “Hmm…. You always did manage to get in so much trouble and still make it through.” I replied sourly. I immediately regretted my sorry-excuse of an attitude. It seemed then that I had an out-of-body experience. I felt that I was watching a movie, I was no longer the main character (heroine, if you will) and AJ was no longer my leading man, just a male who happened to be in love with the female who sat at his bedside….possibly his deathbed….After a slight hesitation, I returned to life and broke down. “AJ,” I began to sob and hiccups occurred after every sentence as I tried to say my piece, “You shouldn’t apologize!….If I hadn’t left you, you wouldn’t be here!….I did this to you….It’s all my fault….” Covering my face, I did what I had done since our break up – cry. I felt his hand gently bring mine to his heart and place his hand slowly clasp above mine. He looked up at me with big brown puppy dog eyes, and with a tight squeeze of my hand he muttered, “We’re both complete love fools.” ‘We’re both complete love fools….’ I repeated to myself and silently agreed. I glanced at him and said, “I’m surprised that you were able to survive such an incident and still love me.” “Which incident? When we met? When you left me? Or when we collided?” Once again he was trying to be funny, but we both knew that the situation was too serious and that it was too early to be poking fun at it. Involuntarily, we became quiet. Basically having a staring contest until he touched the back of his hand to my cheek. It was that tiny gesture that lured me into his world again, “I’m so lucky to be gazing upon the face of heaven.” He had whispered that sentence with such sincerity that I let him lead my face just inches before his and closed my eyes. Just when our lips were on the verge of touching, an icy voice called from the door, “Don’t even THINK about touching MY man!” |