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When Roses Grow Black Chapter 37 I changed my clothes into a pair of Khakis cargo shorts and a lavender open back tank top which went around my neck after I took a nice long shower. I put my waist length light brown hair up in a pony tail and we set out. Kevin led the way with Brian and I bringing up the rear. It was going to be a long walk with a quick pace. Not exactly ideal for someone with short legs and a bit out of shape. I was grateful for Brian hanging back with me, but I felt as though he would have a better time hanging with Nick and AJ for the walk. "So, Brian, do you believe in heaven?" I asked trying to make conversation to break the silence before we became to swallowed up in our own thoughts and feelings. He looked over at me with an amused smile on his face, "Gee, great fan you are. Barely know anything about us." I almost burst out laughing at that comment. I barely knew about them?! That was a joke if I had ever heard one. "I know more than you think I do, Brian Thomas Littrell," I chuckled as I jumped over a log. "You could have gotten that out of Seventeen!" he replied with the same smile on his face. I was now determined to show him that I did know about them, yet I didn't want to scare him. "I know that one of the rats in the making of the "Everybody" video crawled up inside Kevin's jacket because it was warmer there," I stated still smiling. Brian smile was wiped of for a moment as he glanced over at me in shock. Finally the rebuttal came, "Okay, so you've read a few magazines." "You used to have a half red half yellow car you named the Bleeding Banana, and Nick and his mother had a falling out. AJ is a little bitter about the situation with his father, and-" I could have went on and on if Brian hadn't stopped me. "All right! All right!!! You win! Jeez! But you should have known then that I was very religious, and most people who believe in God believe in heaven" I looked up at him. Through all the facts that have been shown to him in the past few days he still thought there was a heaven. That was truly a type of faith I would never have. "Well, my dad is, or was, very religious and he still believes in reincarnation. That's why I wasn't sure. So, I take it you do believe in heaven." "Well, with all this going on it's kinda making it hard to believe. Reincarnation seems more realistic right now, but God has many different ways to get his work done. Perhaps we are actually part of his plan," he said with a sigh and a glance upwards. "We would all like to believe anything that makes us feel safer. Thinking that there was some type of higher power looking out for us. Now, don't get mad I'm just speaking from my opinion here, ok?" I asked before he could take offence to anything I was about to say. He looked at me perplexed before agreeing, "If it's your opinion, than I respect that as much as you respect mine. Look out for the stump your about to trip over." I looked down just in time to save myself from falling flat on my face over a stump. I don't think he expected me to be so opinionated. I always just saw myself as over analyzing things. "How can you be so sure that there is a higher power up there. What if we're just reborn a thousand times over or when we die, that's just it. We're plunged into eternal darkness once it is over. I think 'God' is a big security blanket for everyone who believes in him. So many cruel things happen in this world today that makes me wonder if there is a God. With all the evil, every one thinks their 'Lord' is looking out for them. That's what people who die still think, and why? To make them feel better. People are afraid of the unknown and believing that after this life there is a better place makes it easier. I just, I just…. I don't know." I sighed as I pulled my ponytail tighter and fixed my wispy bangs. "Hey! Look! There's the cabin!" Brian shouted as he saw the big log cabin up ahead of us. I silently thanked the imaginary God we have for finding it. My feet were killing me and I was afraid we wouldn't get there until nightfall. We all broke out into a run towards the cabin. All conversation was forgotten as we reached the door and found it wide open. It was time to go in and face whatever the past had in store for us to find. The moment I passed through the doorway I felt the air around me waver as if I had entered water. That is the only way I could explain it. Everything out side was a dull gray while the colors in the cabin were vibrant and almost alive. "It's the magic," I heard a deep voice whisper in my ear behind me. I turned expecting to find Kevin, but instead AJ stood before me. I looked up at him and smiled, "Yeah, it is." He then left my side to look at the rest of the cabin. I could feel warmth radiating off the walls as I walked around. Each of us followed different routes through the abandoned house. It was fairly large with a kitchen, a dinning room, a parlor, and a den down stairs. The upstairs held five bedrooms and a bathroom. Every room was unfurnished except for one; what seemed to be the master bedroom, I think. As I wandered into the room, I realized the guys were no where in sight. Fear froze my tired mind for a moment, but I was too stubborn to give up. 'I've come all this way searching for the truth, there is no chance I'm turning back now,' I thought as I took another step into the room. The feeling which made me begin my journey, the feeling of belonging someplace else other than my home, was slowly silenced with each step further I took. My home wasn't with my family yet it wasn't here either. I felt as though I belonged here more than back home, however. Everything inside me this whole time was pushing me here. One frozen image sat on the floor. Her knees pulled to her chest with her chin resting on her knees. Her long light brown hair cascading freely around her face and down her back. Her emerald gown glowed almost blindingly, but mixed with the other colors. I took another good look at her face which held a single tear falling to the floor. I took a step back as I gasped. It was me. Now aware of my presence, she slowly looked up to me, her face showing her broken heart. Her eyes alone told the story of her life and upbringing; of the responsibility placed on her shoulders at too young of an age. Another tear fell from her eye, and something was compelling me to comfort her. With every ounce of courage I had in me, I sat down in front of her. She was my exact double in every way and shape. I could tell from the moment I saw her that we were one. I felt her hurt roll off her in waves and sting at my heart. She slowly took a deep breath in and sat up straight. "Wounds that were never given a chance to heal," she whispered quietly. Her voice was my own, but light and confident. I felt a tear escape my eye from the pain throbbing in my heart. As the tear hit the floor, the air around us wavered like we were in water, again. As she saw my shocked expression a smirk formed on her pale face, "It's the magic." "What wounds?" I asked in an equally hushed whisper. I noticed that we were both holding on to the golden locket like a lifeline. That was the only thing I understood in this situation. The locket holds the magic. It's the key. She tilted her head before looking to the floor sadly, "These wounds." I looked down at the floor and I couldn't stop my intake of air from the surprise. She was looking at her wrists, but I was looking at everything. It had all changed from when I had first entered. We sat in blood which flowed past us and out the door about two or three inches high. Past her, at the other side of the room lay five bodies. Five distinct bodies, all with blood streaming from them. They were dead, gone already. Slowly, my eyes traveled to her wrists. I watched as her blood poured out of her veins and mixed with theirs. One of her hands clutched the locket tightly as the other was held just above the crimson river. Her tears and blood mixed as she pleaded, "Please, please, join us now. Kevin, Howard, Brian, Alexander, my dear, dear Nickolas and I, please ancestors, bind us now for all eternity together. For our time was cut short, and our destiny is left unfulfilled. Bind us now and allow us another chance. I don't ask to live forever, only enough time to do what I have to do." She went on like this for what could have been minutes, yet could have been hours. I'm unsure of how long, but Time had stopped and it didn't truly matter any more. I was going to learn the truth. She acted as if I wasn't even there any more, as if I were some imaginary friend that can be ignored when not needed. Gradually, she looked back to me as her blood still flowed and mixed together. "Now," she said as she slowly and weakly stood. I mirrored her actions, and with every beat of my heart fear gripped at me tighter. I knew after this moment I could never again claim ignorance. "It is time to remember who you are, Rose Marie Kendall, of the Kendall Dynasty," she took a step forward as did I. As we hugged, we merged into each other. We became one person and shared our knowledge and memories. Just like she had said it was truly time for me to remember. Before we were completely consumed in to each other, I asked one question, "Are the others remembering now, too?" I heard her soft chuckle echo in my mind along with her answer, "yes."Next: Chapter 38 |