Sully’s Notes: This is the sequel to “Grin and Bare It,” which is the unofficial sequel to “Fantasies.” Thanks, Val, for the plot bunny and my Internet Twin Maveness for letting me steal some ideas from her story. And also Sam Jones III for being a rad-ass Pete and Allison Mack for being a kick-ass Chloe.

Rating: PG-13.

Disclaimer: Ideas and story are not mine. Feel free to sue if you want a loud-ass dog and an old truck named Luthor. Yeah. Didn’t think so.

 

The Bare Essentials

By Sullivan Lane (katpicson@yahoo.com)

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

“Yes, something, Pete. You’ve been staring at me like I’ve grown a second head or something.”

 

“Almost.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You’ve had this silly grin on your face for the past couple of days. I’m just wondering what it’s all about. The Chloe Sullivan I’ve always known doesn’t grin for days. Usually there’s a little sarcasm thrown in to keep everyone on their toes, but for the past couple of days … nada.”

 

“Hmm. I have no idea what you’re talking about. There’s nothing wrong with finding a little joy out of life and grinning about it. Especially when it’s so … joyful.”

 

“Oh, really?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“…”

 

“OK, if I tell you something, you’ve got to promise not to say a thing. To anyone. Not even Clark.”

 

“I swear on the Wall of Weird.”

 

“First, let me ask you a question: What’s your deepest, darkest secret?”

 

“I thought this was all about you. Why should I tell you that?”

 

“I need blackmail material in case you rat me out.”

 

“Ooh, is what you’re about to tell me blackmail material?”

 

“Possibly. Potentially. Almost definitely. So. Out with it.”

 

“I’m not telling you anything. What if your little secret isn’t as exciting as mine?”

 

“What if it is?”

 

“Good point. When I was six, I kissed Lana.”

 

“Whoa, really?”

 

“Yeah. We were playing hide and seek. I was It. She was really easy to find, and in exchange for not tagging her, she let me kiss her. Now out with it.”

 

“Hey, does Clark know about this?”

 

“Chloe!”

 

“OK, OK. Even though that wasn’t nearly as exciting as what I’m about to tell you, here it is: You know how I’ve been mysteriously absent for the past two weeks?”

 

“I do recall coming into the Torch office to find you AWOL more often than usual, yes.”

 

“Well, it’s because I’ve been … with someone.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Let’s just leave names out of it.”

 

“Ooh, OK. Was it a chick?”

 

“Geez, Pete! No!”

 

“Wait, you’ve got a boyfriend and you haven’t told me? What’s up with that, Chloe? I thought I was your main dude.”

 

“It just kind of … happened a couple of weeks ago. And it’s been awkward for us, so we haven’t said anything to anyone.”

 

“Do I know the guy?”

 

“Uh, maybe. That’s not the important part. Do you want the blackmail-able info, or not?”

 

“Come on, just tell me.”

 

“Well … we … we kind of … we did it.”

 

“It? Like … sex?”

 

“Like … yeah.”

 

“How was it?”

 

“I think I blew it.”

 

“Whoa, didn’t you know whether or not you bl – ouch! What? Why are you hitting me?”

 

“Not that kind of ‘blew it’!”

 

“Oh, well, you’re talking about sex, I assumed that you meant --”

 

“Never mind! I’m not telling you the rest.”

 

“Damn, Chloe! You set yourself up for that one. Admit it.”

 

“… Oh, fine.”

 

“What happened with Mr. Blow?”

 

“Don’t call him that!”

 

“OK, so what else happened with Mr. Secret Boyfriend?”

 

“Oh, I … uh … I kicked him.”

 

“You didn’t! Ha ha ha …”

 

“Then I slapped him upside the head.”

 

“Ha ha ha …”

 

“Stop laughing!”

 

“Ow, stop hitting me! Is it Punch Pete Week or something?”

 

“Who else has been hitting you?”

 

“Uh, no one. You seem to think boys are your automatic punching bag or something. You need to work on that.”

 

“Thank you for that extra-special vote of confidence.”

 

“Sorry. Please continue.”

 

“Well, he was just … doing some weird stuff.”

 

“Like?”

 

“Just things that aren’t … sexy.”

 

“Did he tweak your goodies?”

 

“Pete!”

 

“Well, I figure if I don’t guess, you won’t tell me.”

 

“OK. Yeah. He did. And I kicked him.”

 

“And what did Mr. Secretive say?”

 

“He said, ‘ouch.’ A couple of times.”

 

“Hee. And then?”

 

“And then we made up and … uh …”

 

“You did it?”

 

“Yeah. And I haven’t spoken to him since.”

 

“How bad was it?”

 

“How bad was what?”

 

“The actual sex.”

 

“That was … um.”

 

“Horrible.”

 

“Huh. No. There was no bad. It was great. There was … nakedness and stuff.”

 

“Woohoo, naked!”

 

“Do you want to know the story or what?”

 

“Sorry. Yes, I do. So it was great.”

 

“Very great. But afterward it was like …”

 

“Horrible.”

 

“No, still great. But I still kicked him. And got kind of mad for the, uh, tweaking.”

 

“Did he … enjoy it?”

 

“If you’re asking if he …”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“He did.”

 

“Then he’s probably wondering if he did something wrong.”

 

“He didn’t. He was awesome. And I kicked *him*.”

 

“So what?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know.”

 

“You’re overestimating the guy, Chloe. If you did the horizontal mambo with the guy, and he obviously … you know … then he’s probably not mad.”

 

“Pete?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Don’t call it the horizontal mambo.”

 

“OK. But the point is, go talk to Mr. Mysterious. I bet he’d love to … get kicked and smacked upside the head again. So to speak.”

 

“You think?”

 

“Yup. Boys are easy that way.”

 

“*sigh* OK.”

 

“Besides …”

 

“Besides what?”

 

“Clark is really understanding.”

 

“How did you … What … Did Clark tell you? I’m gonna kick his --”

 

“Heh. Nope. You just did!”

 

“I hate you!”

 

“Is that what you said to Clark when you --”

 

“Shut up.”

 

- Fin – 07.01.2002