| 9X6 runs out to the nearest store for condoms. He finds the price to not be for a box, but single condoms. The clerk tells him, "that will be 14.05 pounds". 9X6 lays a hand to his cheek in disbelief and asks the clerk, "are you having me on?" The clerk, being gay of course retorts with, "no, but I wouldn't mind having you over." 9X6 of course being no slouch in the "come on" department, does lay down a card with a bogus name, Pierce Brosnan, and heads out the door empty handed with a look like someone just sucked the red off his candy cane. He immediately tells "H" about the situation. She concedes with the comment, "Well maybe you can get some work done now 9X6". "H" then pulls 9X6 aside and tells him that their old friend Angst Blowhard may be up to his same tired tricks. Well, 9X6 is fueled with fire, because he has not forgotten what Blowhard had done to 9X6's one time love, Terry di Cezino in a drive by fruiting, (a grenade was inside a mango). 9X6's eyes are full of tears, and is enraged." "H", we have got to stop him!" "H" agrees, looking to the floor sadly, "I know 9X6, it took a lot of money to clean up that Aston Martin". "H" show's 9X6 a chart where certain outbreaks of condom prices are shooting through the roof. "H" states, "It is either Blowhard doing this, or he is involved in some way, billions of people will die if they don't get access to reasonably priced condoms, this is much worse than the "foot and mouth" epidemic." 9X6 with avengance on his next breath, states he will take the case. "H", calls Mr. Pricklytease to take a memo to all employed by H.U.N.G. The Mission: THE DAY WILL NEVER END, starts. Luckily 9X6 finds a whole box of 30 plus condoms packed away in a drawer at home, he will need them on this mission, alongside guns galore, exploding props; A blow dryer that doubles as a flamethrower. Cigarettes with deadly darts in them, once they are lit, they will do a reverse jettison towards the target. And freeze dried piranhas, once put into water, will come in handy, he plans to beat Blowhard to the punch this time. 9X6 sets his answering machine that he is heading on a two week vacation to see the sites in Tibet, ( there will be plenty of men that will buy this load of manure, "oh Jim is always in touch with his inner self"). We all know 9X6 can't see much further than nine inches in front of him. 9X6 is heading to Paris and Milan! With a new puss and beautiful body, Blowhard is working as a fashion designer; glamourous and not hard on the eyes. And now he is gay! (when did this come about?). As said earlier, the condom bit is just that, the tip of the iceberg. Blowhard is going to take the world, and he will stop at nothing. 9X6 will also have to fight off the deadly advances of Blowhard himself!!! 9X6 will have his hands full; beautiful men and action with no stop! (Oh God, I must say the mind reels!!, but anyway......) He will have to deal with some very beautiful faces, this time it will be men, (finally women will feel empowered, to see 9X6 "bitch slap", a man and not a woman. We all think that women have been abused way too much in "similiar" missions). Of course there will be the usual ski scenes, jumping out of windows at unGodly heights and racing about town. 9X6 will have to go undercover as a model, as he can... He has the stature, and horribly good looks. Blowhard has no idea that 9X6 is back on the "scene", and will find that his models are very weak when it comes to 9X6's panache. It will be a duel to the end. Blowhard will "eliminate" naughty models. He will be more enraged when he finds his Svengali and Trilby setup with Max Morehead is at a near loss. Max will be drawn into the game, helping 9X6 blow Blowhard's bogus "fashion world", exposing that it is a front for Blowhard's wealthy clientele that are all in the scheme right along with him, TO RULE THE WORLD!!!!! (However, like in the "Velvetfinger" mission, the bad guy will turn on his cohorts. If you remember Velvetfinger was the notorious proctologist, that tried to take over the world). There will be people from all reaches of the world; Iraq, India, China, Japan, France, Italy (of course), Russia and even the President, George W. Bush of the United States, (in a hypervigilance state from not taking his medicine for his ADHD), with Senator Jesse Helms in tow. GOD! HOW MUCH WORSE CAN IT GET! We WON'T go there! Blowhard will use his models, (Angels of No Mercy), to deploy back to their homes all over the world to do their dirty deeds of exposing the world to secret "threats" that could wipe out the world, ripping it apart, much worse than it is today. He will send out these "Angels", to destroy cotton, silk, and other essential fibers, making everyone in the world wear polyester for the rest of their lives!!! Leisure suits will make a big comeback, only to stay, as Blowhard is wishing. This will be one mission that 9X6 will never forget, he will think the condom shortage is relatively nothing..... well sort of. And 9X6 will never again think Cruella De Ville as a bad person, Blowhard is so horrible, he will make her look like Rebecca From Sunnybrook Farm. The end I cannot disclose. |