This is her first real experience with pregnancy. Until my baby shower, she didn’t pay it much mind. Since I’ moved into her house, she has been what I call my butt buddy, because she spends a great deal of time by my side. Now she has realized that there will be someone else attached to me, competing with her for my attention. She expressed this to me after I explained to her why the baby got so many gifts. I had to do a lot of reassuring to ease her mind.
Since then, I’ve become more aware of my nieces and nephews anxieties. The lashing out after baby talk is how my older niece expresses it. My nephew will never forgive me if the baby is born on his birthday (I’m due about that time), where in the beginning of my pregnancy, that’s what he hopped for. My nephew chronically interrupts when his mother and I plan for the baby. My nieces complain of having to listen to crying in the middle of the night and keeping things baby proof. Instead of taking my sister’s children shopping for clothes and other things, I’m now doing it for the baby. They are resentful of me saying or anyone saying ‘we aren’t shopping for you today’. Sharing toys is another scary thing for them. Sharing me is going to be the hardest thing.
I find myself doing things to involve them in this last part of my pregnancy. Making shopping lists, browsing through catalogs, having them listen to baby the baby’s heartbeat and movements with my home heartbeat detector- anything I can think of to reassure them that we are bringing this baby into the world together, as a family.
So, I will become a regular aunt, who has to divide her attention between all these children and my own baby. I’m not going to have much time for a while to spend with them on an individual basis. They’ll have to share me with baby. It’s not going to be easy for me to loose my title. It’s also not easy to remind my nephew and nieces they are not losing an aunt, just gaining a cousin.
They will have to adjust to the baby as much as a sibling would have too. I’ll have to adjust to being a regular aunt, not so much fun, not so free, not so cool, not so energetic, not so hip and not so free with my money. It will be a big change for all of us. |
