This is about my little angels life
I knew that Kelly was going to be born with special needs,
at around 16 weeks into my pregnancy with her,
it was a shock of course, but I was ready
for what they explained to me..
Kelly would be born with Spina-Bifida,
and Hydrocepholis.. The spina-bifida they
told me was in her lower lumbar 4-5 is what
they said which meant that she might
have a chance for walking with support
or even without support the hydrocepholis
was pretty severe but it could go many
different ways.. None of this was going to stop
me from having my little girl, the doctors kept
bring up abortion to me they said they had to
give me the option of it or not and of course
I told them that I made I had made my choice
when I chose to get pregnant there was no other
choice to be made.. I was excited and scared
at the same time honestly. I was very ill through
my pregnancy and in the hospital alot and the
last couple of months I was in for good until
the day came for my little angel to be born..
I was so happy!
but so scared for her that I wasn't sure
what was going to happen..
Well the time came and she was born(c-section)
I didn't get to see her right away they
took her and checked her out right away..
then before they put me to sleep they
brought her to me and I saw my sweet
little girl how precious she looked
(of course I seen nothing wrong with
her)all that I seen was this precious
baby girl.and then they took her again..
I had her baptized right away from our
Pastor before her first surgery..
Kelly was born with her back wide
open there was no membrain over it
or anything, (like most) she was 3hours
old when she went in for her surgery 3.1/2hours
later it was done and was in NICU..
it took along time for her back to heal
(took me talking to God and Kelly)to get
it to do so,The doctors told me that
they were going to have to do a skin
graft because it wasn't healing.
.Well thank God it started. her
hydrocepholis was getting really
bad they kept having to tap her
head to releave the
fluid and pressure. and the two weeks
old she finaly had the shunt put in believe
it or not the only one that she had to have done.
Well finaly at 31/2 weeks old and I
finally got to take my baby home,
she did pretty good for the most
part the first 5months of her life
not very many complications at all
then all of a sudden it started with
Kelly not being able to urinate on
her own and a bladder infection,,
infections after infections and not
being able to keep her formula down
and shunt problems, during which time
I had left her father he really wanted
nothing to do with her or me and my son..
was never supportive would never hold her
was just plain never there for us at all
emotionaly or indifferent.. Well I left him we
lived together for awhile but that was it
and then I moved out with the children.
. Kelly kept getting worse and worse in
and out of the hospital (Somewhere in
this time I met a wonderful Man)David
who is a wonderful man he was there
through alot of the things !
that we dealt with and was very much
support to me and was not afraid of
Kelly.Well needless to say he was
and is every bit Kelly's daddy(exept biologicaly)
other then that he is her daddy,

any how one day Kelly was eating
and then all of a sudden stopped
and looked around and then started
turning all these colors from pink to red,blue
and purple then grey. Scarred the hell out of me..
Rushed her an hour away from where we
live to her hospital she had developed seisures..
Kelly was the most happiest baby at all time no
matter what she went through she was happy
and so forgiving to what we had to do the
doctors nurses and myself.. but she just
kept getting worse everyday something was
happening with her I knew that something
was terribly wrong but nobody could figure
out what was wrong she developed apnea,
Centeral fever was on oxygen, cathed,
g-tube, monitors, meds up the wazoo...
and still failing but at the same
time so very happy God was she happy..
she played a little more!
before she got worse but she loved
to play peek-a-boo pat pat pat (patty cake)always
saying wove you (Love You) loved pooh tigger
and mama daddy Carl..

Well Kelly as I said
was getting worse and worse I took her to
specialist after specialist and no one
could figure out what was wrong with my
little girl(I knew in my heart and soul)
that I was losing my daughter she is
dieing I said this to many people but no
one believed me well we took her to Mayo Clinc
finally to find out what was wrong and
if there was anything that could be done,
I believe that we spent 8days up there
she seen many doctors they addmitted her
to the hospital did an EEG study on her
and it was unbelieveable I have never seen
anything like it in my life all that it was
was waves every now and the it would peek up
but for the most part it was waves
Well right then I knew that was it she really
was dieing I kept asking the nurses and the doctors
that wore the but they said that I would have
to wait to talk!
to the Neuroligist..and the next day we did
and he was very sincere and gentle to the
best that he could he told us that Kelly had
a neuro reggrestion (degeneration) and was
dieing he gave her 6 to 9 months if I am
not misstaking this was in June of 1998 He
told us to take her home and make her as
comfortable as possible which of course we
did he put her on a cooling blanket and
Valume for her discomfort and anxiety told
us to come back in December or January if
she made it (Which she didn't) She was still
happy but cried alot more. she had a couple
more hospital visits and there some of the
doctors and nurses didn't believe me which
really angered me but then the neuro surgent
there that Kelly saw and they knew told them
then they believed it, wheather it be right
or wrong I chose not to have Kelly revived or
put on anymore machines she had suffered enough
and I wanted her to have her peace I wanted her
comfortable the best that we could and
that is what we did for her I kep!
t her home with us and took care of her she
got more nursing care but most of the care
came from me and David.. The home nurses were
great and I appreciate them for everything
that they did for us the way that they were
there for us fabullus people.. Well the time
was coming for Kelly to go home we took her
off everything except for meds and feeding
pump that ran 24/7 the time was coming and we
all new it..The last couple of weeks I took
her to get her pictures taken in the dress
that I baught to put her in when it was time
the pictures turned out great she had so many
expresstions.. took her to see some people..
and then she was getting worse she started
sleeping more and more would be awake for
very short periods of time and then minutes..
and then she went into a comma I held her alot
and then her lungs started filling up and I
knew that it was time called her nurse her
name is Kim too and told her called my best
friend Lori Jo she came down and spent the
night with me I kept suckting her nose and
throat the best that I could her respitory
was dropping very rappidily Held on to her
alot friends came over and family to say
there good byes and most of them left and
it was time for Kelly to be cathed I was
going to let the nurse do it I carried Kelly
over to her crib and liffted her up and felt
her take one big breath lifted her a little
higher and Felt Jesus Take her from my hands
to his,I new it but didn't at the same time
went out side for a cig, and my friend came
out and said to come in I knew that Kelly was
gone she wouldn't tell me outside but I knew
Icame in and walked to the crib and the nurse
Kim said I am sorry I about calapsed right there
I screamed no my baby my angel I remember bits
and pieces I held her for hours the Neouroligst
came a confirmed it and announced ittime of death
1:46pm I held her and then the Cornor came and
David and I rode with them I held Kelly all the
way back to where we used to live and
laid her on the table there!


Kelly had a beautiful funeral and wake
I got to hold her before I put her to bed for
the last time.. We put toys in with her and her
washcloth and nuk Carl baught her pooh socks
and Pooh to go with her and some of her babies
and other favorite toys it waas beautiful..
I must say I miss her more then I can ever
explain but I am glad that she is at peace...
I Love you Kelly and will see you when it is
my time to come home and we will never be seperated again..

Love Mama ,