Brief Summary: This is your brain. This is your brain on DiC.

Summary: The recap informs us that the Joes and the Cobras are fighting the evil Headman, a terrible drug dealer (in more than one sense of the word). Since the window cannons haven’t yet been taken out, things look bad for the Joes and the Cobras.

Cobra Commander and Duke are trapped in a plane that’s going to be crashing soon. Cobra Commander blames Duke for the fact the plane is crashing. The two of them manage to cut their way out of the cockpit and parachute to safety. Luckily for them, nobody decides to shoot at them.

Inside the Headman’s distribution center, Crimson Guardsman #1 turns on Shockwave, attempting to side with the Headman’s Headhunters.

Falcon and Cindy are delivered to the Headman’s secret main base. Falcon’s wearing his Joe outfit under his hospital robes (buh?). Cindy comes out of her coma and wakes up as Falcon is dragged off by the Headman’s people.

Duke hopes that the Siegie and Shockwave are having better luck inside the base.

They are. The Siegie double-crosses the Headman’s people and he and Shockwave find the automated weapons system control room and blow it up, disabling the auto-weapons system.

Duke learns that Falcon and Cindy have been kidnapped.

At his base, the Headman offers Falcon a job with his organization, since what else is there for him to go back to? After all, he’s been kicked out of the Joes, his half-brother Duke has disowned him and he’s nothing but a miserable junkie. The Headman also offers Falcon drugs to try and seal the deal.

Falcon turns him down: “I just say no, you disgusting piece of slime!” Which is pretty damned high and mighty talk for someone who was looking for a quick and easy way to become all he could be.

Falcon and Cindy run off, looking for a radio room where they can let the Joes know where they are.

Back at the distribution center, the Headhunters refuse to talk and Shockwave and the Siegie bicker with each other.

Falcon manages to get hold of Duke and begs for his half-brother to bring help for Cindy. Duke tells Falcon that they’re going to come for them regardless of how much of a dumbass Falcon was.

The Headhunters try to break into the radio room, but Falcon and Cindy can’t leave until Duke gets the coordinates for the Headman’s base.

The coordinates go through the Headman’s base is located in the Red Rock Desert. The Headhunters break into the radio room while Falcon and Cindy try to escape.

The Joes and Cobras go a’hunting for the Headman’s main base, which is located in a big ol’ mesa. Umpteen bjillion Cobras and Joes arrive in the desert to attack the Headman’s mesa.

Metal-Head tells Bulletproof to drive their vehicle while he shoots at things. Bulletproof tells Metal to aim at the turrets, rather than the rock wall of the mesa. Metal tells Bulletproof he doesn’t take orders from Joes. Bulletproof says okay, but the ammo behind the turrets could make a really big bang. This is apparently all the persuasion Metal-Head needs as he proceeds to blow up the turrets and climb on top of the vehicle he and Bulletproof are in giggling like a madman and generally behaving like he’s skipped his Ritalin today.

Mutt and the Baroness are flying in. Mutt’s at the controls while the Baroness is the one doing the shooting. The Baroness admits that Mutt does know his strategy.

Shockwave and Siegie #1 talk strategy. Shockwave wants to go in guns a’blazin’ while the Siegie is more in favor of a subtler plan. When Shockwave protests, the Siegie reminds him that he’s got more than enough cause for wanting to stop the Headman and his goons. Namely the fact that his sister is in there as a hostage.

I know it's only a trick of the animation and all, but the way Shockwave’s face is too freaking creepy. The way his face is drawn under his mask makes it look like he’s got no distinguishable features. It’s just weird looking!

Back in the base, Cindy’s in bad shape. Falcon tackles a guard and carries her off. They find the Headman’s secret money vault and his secret escape hatch.

Cindy has an idea.

In his office, the Headman is freaking out. IN order to try and calm himself, he takes some of his own drugs. Which flies in the face of reality, since most hardcore dealers NEVER use the product themselves. Not only does it cut down on what they have to sell, it screws up their ability to deal properly. In Wiseguy, the real life story they based the movie Goodfellas on, the main character didn’t really start screwing up until he started taking the drugs he was selling.

Duke and Cobra Commander break in and the Headman runs for it, laughing. The Joes and the Cobras follow him down his rabbit-hole escape tunnel. Falcon and Cindy see the Joes and Cobras and move to help them.

Meanwhile, Cobra Commander looks for the Headman’s money.

The Headman rants and raves and threatens to spray the combined forces of the Joes and Cobras with his drug Spark.

The Headman is in really bad shape. Falcon tackles him and the Headman is the one who gets bathed in his own drugs. Death by Irony.

The Joes and Cobras are too late to save the Headman. Not that they really try, since it’s pretty obvious that the Headman is SOL and DOA.

The Headman dies, though not on screen (which in toonland means he’s not necessarily dead).

Crimson Guardsman #1 tries to get Cindy to come with him. She rejects his offer, telling him that she needs help, not a life of crime and terrorism. The Siegie accepts this and leaves with the rest of the Cobras.

Falcon steps up beside Cindy and says that he thinks her brother still loves her.

Because he wasn’t really dead, the Headman rises up enough to hit the ubiquitous self-destruct button, then collapses again.

Everyone manages to make it out of the mesa before it blows up. With the drug factory destroyed and the Headman defeated, Cobra heads out with their fat sacks of mad cash and the Joes let them leave.

Falcon and Duke make up with Duke finally telling Falcon that he’s proud of him.

Falcon and Cindy decide they’re going back to the hospital since they both still need help recovering from their drug addiction. They also decide they want to make a sizable donation to the fight against drugs. Namely, all of the money the Headman had in his secret vault. They managed to steal it before they snuck out of the Headman’s base.

So what did Cobra Commander steal?

“NEWSPAPER?!” Cobra Commander shrieks, proceeding to move into full-fledged wobbly land. The Baroness murmurs something about missing Mutt already. Or, as she called him, ‘Bowser’.

Back at the rubble of the Headman’s base…his hand twitches. This is either to signify that the evil of drugs will never die or tossed in because kids’ shows aren’t supposed to have characters die. Or, because the writers didn’t want to get rid of a perfectly good villain. Especially since his toy had recently been released and who wants to play with a corpse?

As if the heavy-handed message of this two-parter wasn’t enough, the last thing we see is a shot of “Remember, Drugs Kill!” centered in red on a black background with a voice-over from, I believe, Bulletproof, telling us about how dangerous drugs are. We’re told that it’s okay to take any medicines our parents or doctors might give us, but to avoid any drugs our friends might offer us.

Commentary: The Greatest Evil is probably without a doubt my least favorite of the DiC episodes. Part of it is the shameless, heavy-handed moralizing of the anti-drug message. I hate it for the same reason I hate most anti-smoking advertisements. Hell, for the same reason I hate most anti-anything ads in general, even if I agree with them in principle I don’t like having my intelligence insulted. And too many people seem to feel that the best way to persuade someone not to do something is to state the obvious as slowly and simply as possible.

And it doesn’t work. Or at least it only works up to a point. These ads and shows are very good at preaching to the choir. Kids who were persuaded to avoid drugs by The Greatest Evil are most likely those kids who were least likely to experiment with drugs in the first place. (note: I have no facts to back this up, this is my opinion only.) Or had maybe only experimented a little, didn’t like it and never did it again. Anyone who was going to quit? Most likely they were ready to quit and simply needed a tiny shove to do what they were likely to do anyway. (Again, my opinion only, no factual basis for any of this.)

This show isn’t likely to persuade anyone who is seriously involved in drug use. Either because that person is a recreational user and doesn’t see him or herself as a victim of big time dope dealers. Or because that person is so deeply in denial they don’t see themselves as an addict (sometimes the first and second persons are in fact one and the same).

It fails as an educational tool in several other respects too. Like The Sludge Factor, this episode fails largely because it tries to boil a complex issue down into a simple dichotomy. Also like Sludge Factor, it sets up one person as the sole source for all the evil in the world. The Headman, or so we’re led to believe by the episode, is the only drug dealer in the world. It’s stated several times that the Joes and Cobras must defeat the Headman and get rid of drugs. Drugs just aren’t that easy to get rid of.

The episode does, however, do a few things right. At the end of the episode, Falcon and Cindy go back to the hospital to continue their recovery, rather than simply being announced cured. Duke’s anger at his brother (which is more of a key point in the first half) is pretty natural. Their reconciliation is a bit forced, but also a good way to show kids that folks can be forgiven. The way Cobra is brought in to the whole team-up thing is still one of my favorite bits just because it’s actually a logical reason for an evil terrorist organization to go after an evil drug-dealing organization.

As much as I hate this episode, I have to give the writers props for trying very hard to do something that’s very difficult. It’s not easy to moralize, especially in children’s programming. There’s a fine line between being convincing and being cloying and I do have to admit that for as often as the episode stumbles towards cloying, it at least isn’t as bad as say, an hour of Truth commercials.

Probably the main reason I dislike this episode as much as I do is because so much of it focuses around the character of Lieutenant Falcon. While I can tolerate Lt. Falcon in the comics (probably because I haven’t seen much of him there) and I rather like the character as described on his toy’s file card, I could not stand that arrogant SOB in the movie. But, as little as I liked him, I can at least admit that Falcon in the movie (and the comics and the file card) is at least has some semblance of a reason for being an arrogant SOB. He has skills, training, etc. It’s my personal theory that part of the reason he’s such a git in the movie is that he’s finally found himself in a place where he’s not the best at everything.

Falcon in the DiC cartoon, however, comes across as being much younger than he seemed in the movie. In the movie, he seemed to be in his late 20s, maybe early 30s. In the DiC episodes, he comes across as an immature early 20s. Definitely not the sort of guy you’d think would be a member of a highly trained special missions force. This is borne out by the fact that Falcon turns to drugs as a way of trying to make himself a better Joe. Which isn’t something I could see any sensible Green Beret doing (they’re snake-eaters, not feckin’ morons).

Cool Thing! (July 23, 2003) While doing one of my nigh-constant searches for other info on the DIC series, I came across this review of "The Greatest Evil" done by David Lawrence for Dante's Inferno and All Night Video Store. What tickles me is that Mr. Lawrence and I came up with a lot of similar ideas about the show. Mr. Lawrence has also done reviews of GI Joe: The Movie, Transformers: The Movie and Inhumanoids: The Movie for the Inferno. Go check it out! And read the regular reviews there as well. The Inferno is hella cool.

Interesting Tidbit: Oddly enough, the Headman and EcoWarriors turn up in the later issues of the Marvel comic. There’s one issue where the Headman’s people are trying to move into the Cobra-held town of Broca Beach. The Cobra agents there, specifically a Crimson Guardsman and his wife, attempt to stop the slow creep of drugs into their neighborhood. The overall storyline is done very well and a lot more ambiguously than the DiC two-parter does. I also like the ending better as well: Cobra Commander uses Joe technology to satellite strike the Headman’s boat before it can arrive at Broca Beach (IIRC). And why does the Commander do it? Because Broca Beach is HIS, damnit!

Also: This particular DiC episode featured voice work by Scott O’Neal (Lt. Falcon) and Gary Chalk (Metal-Head), who would later work with Robert “Bob” Forward on Beast Wars where they voiced Rattrap and Optimus Primal respectively.