Brief Summary: Second verse, same as the first! A little bit louder and a whole lot worse!

Summary: We’re back at Cesspool’s junkyard headquarters where the Joes, having been given the locale by Clean Sweep, are trying to rescue Flint. This is where we get to see the Sludge-Vipers introduced (or at least named, since they were in the previous episode). Hawk is leading the sortie.

Now, keep in mind that Cesspool’s junkyard HQ is supposed to be an icky, nasty polluted place. So bad that his troops wear masks to help protect it. So why in the Sam scratch are the Joes running around without protective gear? Especially a Joe like Ozone who’s another member of the EcoWarriors?

Back at the Joe HQ, Clean Sweep is working on something to neutralize the sludge, since it’s more dangerous than lasers (this is according to Hawk, which is kind of a nice tie-in to the Cesspool/CC laser vs. sludge discussion from last episode).

It’s around here that we learn that littering is wrong but blowing enemy vehicles into scrap is apparently okay. Hakwk also hits a vat of sludge, exploding it and causing all kinds of nasty smoke that threatens to choke the Joes. If Clean Sweep doesn’t arrive soon with the neutralizer, they’re all dead!

(ohpleaseohpleaseohpleasedon’tarriveintime…)

But, he does and the Joes are saved when his neutralizer stuff not only stops the evil fumes but also saves the area, restoring it. One of the Sludge Vipers who sounds like he’s being voiced by the guy who does the Brain, yells for the other Sludgies to get out of there since their weapons are neutralized. But, before they can escape, they’re caught by the Joes. Nertz.

Back at the Cobra base, Cesspool has come up with a plan to destroy the world’s arable land (apparently, he read my review of the first half of this two-parter). Cobra Commander is pleased since it’ll make his food more valuable. ‘Course, it will also mean that Cobra won’t have any more food that they can steal, since they won’t be able to produce more but hey, CC’s happy! He’s so rarely happy! Leave him be!

Apparently, some amount of time passes and Cesspool is successful since Cesspool is destroying the world. We get shots of people in stores looking hungry and distressed. Feel the tension!

Cobra Commander wonders what a dip in toxic waste would do to Flint. Cesspool offers to show him and we get to see the first appearance of Toxo-Vipers. Yay! Let’s hear it for the proud men and women of the Leaky Suit Brigade!

Flint manages to escape again as the Toxo-Vipers are taking him for his dip in the sludge. While he’s running around, he finds the sludge making factory and learns that Cesspool is planning on not only backstabbing Cobra Commander but also destroying the entire world! His plan is this: blow a hole out of the volcano into the sea bed causing it to flood the volcano’s lava bed which will cause an explosion and send sludge-polluted grain into the earth’s atmosphere where it will rain down on the earth and destroy the world’s food supply!

And kill Cesspool and his people as well but hey, why let a little thing like logic stand in the way of destroying the world, huh?

Flint radios the Joes and tries to tell them what’s going on, only to be caught again by Cesspool and brought back for another try at sticking Flint in the sludge. Flint tries to tell CC that Cesspool is planning a double-cross, but CC doesn’t listen. Meanwhile, the first explosion goes off. Cesspool attempts to BS his way out of trouble by trying to dip Flint into the 270 degree sludge. Which, if that’s how hot it was when Cesspool got dipped into it, why doesn’t he look a whole lot worse? Boiling is 212 degrees Farenheit (100 degrees Celsius). The recommended temperature for a home hotwater heater (in the US at least) is 120 degrees Farenheit. At 270 degrees Farenheit, Cesspool should be a lot more scarred and fugly than he is.

Water floods the volcano and a Sludge Viper runs up to tell Cesspool in front of Cobra Commander and Flint that things are set to destroy the earth. Granted, this is probably the best time to do so, since how is CC going to stop the second explosion but I think a radio message would be better than “Hey Boss! IT’s working! WHOO!”

Now, CC believes Flinta bout the double cross and he’s livid. He wants to rule the world not destroy it! Flint manages to escape in the confusion.

The Joes show up at Cobra’s volcano and glider in. After they meet up with Flint, most of them go off to try and neutralize the sludge while Flint is heads for the volcanic core to try and stop the last bomb (the one that lets the sea water meet the lava).

Note: Another something my friend Anna noticed: whenever someone is talking, their voice is the only sound that can be heard except for the occasional background music. You never seem to hear voices and sound effects simultaneously. It’s rather common to all the episodes and it’s kinda weird.

The Joes manage to neutralize the sludge, making it into harmless fertilizer. Which is, in terms of this episode at least, a good thing since Flint was unable to stop the second bomb. The Joes now need to haul ass out of the volcano before the whole thing goes sky high.

Cobra Commander and Cesspool dissolve their partnership, while the Joes escape via glider by using updrafts to help them get airborne.

The volcano explodes, everyone manages to escape (or at least everyone with a code name manages to escape) and the fertilizer is blown sky high and will rain down on earth from the upper atmosphere.

Cut to Joe Headquarters where we see satellite photos of an area in India Cesspool’s forces had defiled prior to the explosion. Then we see an after shot, showing the area now that the fertilizer has rained down. Plants are beginning to sprout and the area (and the entire planet) is beginning to heal. Score one for the good guys.

And, after this we get the obligatory message: “Pollution is a bigger problem than Cesspool” to which I give a resounding “No shit!”

End of The Sludge Factor.

Commentary: Okay, I mentioned last time that I hate moralizing so I’m not going to reiterate that here. What I am going to do is bitch about the idiotic ending to this episode and why it ultimately does more harm to environmentalist movements than it helps educate kids about saving mother earth.

First, some science: Okay, so the episode ends with fertizliers being blown sky-high only to rain down upon the earth and save all those poor defiled areas that Cesspool destroyed. That’s the nice little neat and happy solution the writers give us.

Except that that much fertilizer raining down on the planet would actually cause world-wide ecological disaster.

See, in its place, fertilizer is great. It replenishes soil that’s been drained of its nutrients, generally because the farmer in question planted nutrient hungry crops (like corn) for too many seasons in a row without allowing the land to lie fallow. Farmers introduce fertilizers to their fields to help give back what their crops take out. The principle is the same whether you’re using dead fish, cow dung or the latest chemical fertilizer. It becomes more necessary with industrial farming of the sort done in the US.

Now, outside of its proper place, fertilzer is a toxin. Its ability to bring in added nutrients can become a liability rather than a help. It can cause an explosion of growth in the wrong place (like cancer) or it can burn out healthy soil and healthy plants.

I’m thinking here of what happens when fertilizer gets into water. Particularly living water like rivers, lakes, ponds and, in this case, the ocean. Remember, seventy percent of the world is covered by ocean. When the fertilizer hit it, it would cause an explosion in algae growth around the world. This growth would choke the seas, stealing oxygen from the water and causing a massive die out of fish and other aquatic life. Which would then lead to the death of those animals (including humans) who subsist on those life forms. Landlocked bodies of water would suffer similar fates, not to mention the poisoning of local water supplies.

Also, land animals would be poisoned by the fertilzer on the food they ate, the explosion of growth among plants on land would lead to them choking and dying as they competed for land. And, add to that the chemical burns suffered by anyone unfortunate enough to be outside when that stuff started coming down and we’re talking an environmental disaster on a scale beyond Cesspool’s wettest dreams.

Which more or less summarizes my problems with this episode from a scientific point of view. Which, to be honest, I could overlook if it wasn’t for the fact that this episode is purporting to teach kids about the importance of looking after the environment. Which, in my opinion, it fails to do because the problem is simply too complex to be dumbed down.

This isn’t the fault of the writers, not entirely at least. They did the best they could with what they were given (namely, EcoWarriors). To be charitable, the writers on Captain Planet had a similar problem: take a complex problem like environmetalism and make it interesting enough that kids are going to keep turning in day after day after day (and buy the resulting toys).

Polluters like Cesspool (in either form) or the villans on Captain Planet are not the problem. Granted, they do cause large scale problems, but even their real world counter-parts aren’t as bad as the average, every day citizen out there.

It’s easier to install scrubbers in a factory smokestack than it is to get 250 million Americans to understand that recycling is necessary. OR stop driving SUVs in cities where the biggest obstacle they’ll be asked to overcome is the curb in front of the bagel shop. Granted, it’s hard to make an interesting story about the Joes going around talking to people about putting bricks in their toilets to help save water, but it’s a lot closer to the actual problem than some Joker-esque villain like Cesspool.

The other problem is, shows like this make it look like environmental problems can be solved as easily as pulling out the magic Fix-All. They can’t. They’re going to take years to remedy and some of them may never be able to be fixed. The environment is a big, complex thing that we still don’t fully understand. It’s going to take more than a few neon-suited goobers to make things all better.

And since the commentary is almost longer than the review, I think it’s time to bid a fond adieu to our friends in the EcoWarriors. At least until Infested Island.