| Chapter 32: Letting Go After tossing around for what it seemed like hours, Lauralee flung her blankets off of her and stood up to look at the city skyline, with the sun starting to reflect off of the tall buildings. She turned to look at Alex mumbling in his sleep, turning around to face the wall. She sighed as she faced the window again, trying to shake how she acted as she stormed out of her mother’s house. This was supposed to be a happy day, one that she had looked forward to for a long time. Her chance to be back out doing what she loved more than anything in the world, but it was clouded by so many other things swimming around in her head. She wished she could have someone to talk to, but she knew she was alone on this. Alex, although he was there for her, knew that he wasn’t supporting her, or anyone else for that matter. They were there to pat her hand, give her soothing words, but agree with her? Answer her questions? It didn’t happen. “But who else is there?” she whispered. Then it hit her. She knew exactly who would give her the answers. Putting a light jacket on and grabbing her bag, wrote a little note, laid it on her bed next to Alex, and crept out of her hotel room. Looking out of the hallway to make sure the coast was clear; she tiptoed out onto the elevator and went down. She managed to get the doorman, who was quizzically looking at a girl in her pajamas, to hail a cab. Telling the driver where to go, they drove away. ~*~ Although it was warm weather, the breeze was cool enough for Lauralee to wrap her jacket tightly around her body as she walked through. The place was familiar although she hadn’t been there in over 6 years. The smell seemed to be the same, as well as the way the sun grazed over the hills. That’s why her and her family picked the spot. It seemed the perfect place to… Lauralee finally stopped as she saw the familiar headstone. She crept to it slowly, completely terrified to face it. She hadn’t been there since they buried her father all those years ago. After a few minutes, Lauralee managed to put her hand on the gravestone. “Hi Daddy,” Lauralee said through a tear-stained face. She stood back and looked at the inscription: James Paul Deverson October 3rd, 1951 – July 14th 1996 Beloved father, husband, son, and friend. With a deep breath, she began to speak. “Daddy, it’s me, but I guess you already know that. I’m sorry I haven’t been here before, but it’s been very hard for me. But I think about you every second of everyday. I mean, it’s because of you that I’m where I am.” “You always taught me to strive for the top, but never lose who I am in the process. But, Daddy, I think I did. I hurt Mom in a big way, to the point I think I’ve lost her. I’m sure you know what I did, but did I do it for the wrong reasons? Everyone just plays this pity party on me or else turns a deaf ear. I need answers, and the one person I could always count on was you. I know you can’t physically talk to me, but please help me. I can’t lose both parents!” Lauralee bent down her head and began to cry, when she saw something rustling on the ground. Peering closer, she saw an envelope placed near the headstone. It was about to blow away, when Lauralee grabbed it to prevent it from doing so. It was a simple envelope, no name or anything. Looking around, she opened the envelope and saw a piece of paper. Taking out the paper and looking at it, she sucked in a breath of air as she saw the familiar handwriting. Sitting on the ground Indian style, she began to read: Dearest James, I never thought I would be writing this to you, but it is now time to say it. Life is the strangest thing in the universe. There are so many ups, downs, twists and turns that you never know what it will bring you. When I met you, I knew that you were my soulmate. I looked into your eyes and I saw my future. You were the one God told me to wait for all of my life. And when you proposed to me, there was nothing in the world I was surer of than to be your wife. I never regretted a day in our marriage. We had the problems of newlyweds, and we saw friends divorce. But everyday, when I would wake up and see you sleeping next to me, I fell in love all over again. And it was that love that gave us a beautiful daughter, a symbol of how love can grow and be shared. When we took our vows, we said until death to us part. But I couldn’t let go of that for a long time. There were times when I would come home after a hard day of work, and still expect you to walk in, sit with me on the couch and let me vent my feelings as you would hold me in your arms. But then I realized you wouldn’t be walking in, and I grieved all over again. But I can’t grieve for you anymore. I love someone else. There were times I felt like I was being unfaithful to you, but then I realized that love comes in many different forms. My love for Jerry is different than yours. It’s difficult to explain in words. But I know that I am in love with him, and will be for the rest of my life. I will never say goodbye to you James. But I need to say goodbye to the pain. I can’t live the rest of my life staying in love with a memory. You will always be in my heart forever and we will see each other again when the time is right. Please understand. I used to think that souls couldn’t live again, but every time I look into Lauralee’s eyes, I see you. How she is like you: a person who has so much determination to succeed no matter what life gives her. She has turned your gift of music into something that the world now knows what she is capable of. I now see her on television, listen to her songs, and I see you. It makes me the happiest mother on this earth knowing that we have raised a caring, strong, independent woman. But she is angry with me, because she thinks that I’m replacing you. I hope that you don’t feel the same way. Jerry can never replace the 25 years of bliss I have had, and he’s not trying to. Lauralee is the most important thing in my life, and I love her with everything I am. Please give her the strength to understand this. I would rather have her stand with me as I embark on a new journey than my next breath. I must end this now my darling. I will always love you. All my love, Sandra Lauralee quickly dabbed away the tears on the paper to not smudge the ink. She looked up at the sky and let the tears flow. “Lau?” Lauralee turned around and saw Alex approaching her. She stood up as Alex came up to her. “How did you know where I was?” Alex held up the note and read it. “‘Dear Alex, I needed to find some answers and there’s only one place I can go. Lauralee.’ I figured this was it.” Lauralee just nodded as she took a broken breath. “Yeah it was.” “So, did you find what you were looking for?” Lauralee looked at the letter. She felt an emotional weight lifting off of her shoulders, and she knew she had the missing piece of the puzzle. “Yeah I did.” She folded the letter, placed it back in the envelope and put it on the headstone. Standing up, she hugged Alex. Letting go, Alex gave her a puzzling look. “What was that for?” “For understanding,” Lauralee smiled, but then gasped. “Oh my God! Alex, what time is it?” He looked at his watch. “9:30, why?” “Then there’s still time! How did you get here?” “Marcus took the car.” “Can he get me to City Hall in 15 minutes?” Alex smiled. “The way he drives? In 5.” Lauralee grabbed his hand. “Let’s go!” ~*~ Lauralee and Alex ran up the steps of City Hall to the area of marriages. She ran to the receptionist gasping for air. “Where… is… oh… Jesus…” Alex ran up and stopped Lauralee. “Where is the Deverson-Robbins ceremony?” The receptionist looked at the log and back up at Alex and Lauralee in their pajamas with skepticism. “Are you a guest?” “I’m family,” Lauralee responded. She took out her driver’s license and showed her. “See?” “Oh… room 5, down the hall,” the receptionist responded as she gave Lauralee’s license back. “Thanks!” Lauralee said as she and Alex ran down the hall. They approached the room and Lauralee burst inside. There was Aunt Charlene, Dominic, and Catherine standing on the side, as she saw her mother in a white suit, holding hands with Jerry in a black suit as a judge was in front of them. “Stop!” Lauralee shouted as all eyes turned to her. “Just a minute young lady!” the judge screamed. “If you don’t leave, I will call security!” Alex stepped inside after Lauralee. “We’re sorry, Your Honor, for bursting in like this, but she’s the bride’s daughter.” “I see,” the judge stepped away as Lauralee faced her mother and Jerry. “Lau, what are you doing here?!” Sandy asked. “If you here to stop me…” “No, that’s the thing,” Lauralee said, tears in her eyes. “I know now. I see it now.” Smiling, Jerry turned to the judge. “Can we have a moment sir?” The judge smiled. “No problem.” He stepped out of the room. “Can I talk to my mother privately?” Lauralee asked. “Of course,” Jerry said. He led everyone else out of the room. “Mom,” Lauralee took her hands. “I just want to say that I’m sorry.” “Lau…” “No, let me finish. You were right. I was scared that you were replacing Daddy. For some reason, I thought that I had to replace him as well. I didn’t want to think that it was really over. I couldn’t let the pain go. But, this morning, I went to his grave and I saw the letter.” “You did,” Sandy smiled. “Yeah, and it made me realize something. A while ago, Howie said something to me that stuck. He said that no two loves are the same. It took me a while to realize it. But he’s right. You deserve a second chance. And I hope you give me one.” Sandy, with tears in her eyes, quickly embraced Lauralee. “You know I’ll give you all the chances in the world. I love you.” “I love you too,” she whispered. “Can we let them back in?” “Of course,” Sandy said as she opened the door and let them all inside. “Uh Jerry?” Lauralee walked up to him. “Yes Lauralee?” “I owe you the biggest apology of all time. I thought that you were…” Jerry stopped her by putting his hands on her shoulders. “I know. Lauralee, I can’t be your father, but I would like to be your friend.” “I’ll take that,” Lauralee nodded and smiled. “Welcome to the family,” she whispered as she gave him a hug. Resounding applause came through as they hugged and laughed. “Now, one thing stands in the way.” “And that is?” Jerry asked. “Let me give you and engagement present. I would like to give you a wedding. Don’t get married in City Hall. Let me give you flowers, cake, the works.” “One condition,” Sandy smiled. “Would you be my maid of honor?” “You can pick the tackiest dress in the world!” Lauralee laughed as she hugged her mother. “Come on, let’s get out of here. We got something to celebrate.” “Your album release?” Jerry asked. Lauralee put her arms around them. “Not just that. The celebration of family.” Chapter 33 Contents Chapter 31 |