| “I can’t do this anymore!” “Baby, we can handle this, please…” “I’ve been handling this for too long!” “Don’t go!” Lauralee woke up in a cold sweat, her breathing erratic and shaking like a leaf. Clutching her chest, she tried to compose her breathing. This was not new to her, however the dream had been too real. The nightmare had plagued her 7 years ago, but hadn’t been in her mind, until now. Looking at the alarm clock reading 4am, she got out of bed and went to the kitchen. Grabbing a glass of milk and the box of shortbread cookies, she sat down on the stool of the island in the middle of the kitchen and rested her head against her palm. Why was this happening to her? She had everything she wanted. Why does the past keep haunting her? The thousands of dollars she had spent on therapy seemed no good at this point, with her therapist telling her that she was in no wrong, she had done everything right, she had no choice but to let go. Yeah, right. Easier said than done. If she had let go, she wouldn’t be sitting alone in her kitchen eating cookies at 4am to escape the nightmare. Finishing the box of cookies, she got up and tried to get back to sleep, avoiding the nightmare yet again. ~*~ Lauralee finally woke up to the sound of her cell phone ringing. Squinting to the sound of the ring, she looked at the Caller ID and sighed when she answered it. “Hello?” “Hey Sweetheart.” Lauralee sat up in her bed, rubbing her eyes. “Hi Mark. What’s up?” “Nothing much. How has your vacation been?” “It’s been OK. Been playing around in the studio.” “The studio?” Mark laughed. “Jesus Lauralee, you really can’t relax, can you.” “Music does relax me, Mark, just like acting does for you.” “Pays the bills,” Mark said. “Speaking of acting, look like I won’t be joining you this month in New York.” Lauralee’s eyes bugged out. “Why?” “My manager got me a good role, maybe even Oscar-worthy. We have to stay for the negotiations. I’m sorry babe, I know you really wanted to spend time together, but this is an opportunity I can’t miss.” “No… no, that’s OK. Don’t worry about it.” “Are you sure? Why don’t you come out to LA for a few days?” Lauralee sighed. “Mark, look, negotiate. I really want to stay home. I’ll talk to you later.” “Sure. I love you.” “Love you too. Bye.” “Bye.” Lauralee closed her cell phone up, rubbed her eyes again and sighed. “Oscar-worthy… yeah right.” She got up and went to the kitchen, where Lola was already preparing breakfast. “Good morning Miss Deverson.” “Morning Lola,” Lauralee went behind her and breathed in the smell coming from the stove. “Smells heavenly. What’s cooking?” Lauralee tried to take a taste from the plate, but Lola swatted her hand playfully. “Belgian waffles, it’s my husband’s recipe. And fresh fruit compote. Went to the market this morning and found some fresh strawberries.” “Yummy,” Lauralee smiled as she took a seat at the table. “Did you get the paper?” “Right next to you,” Lola called from behind her shoulder. “By the way,” Lauralee said as she opened the paper and Lola set down her plate. “Mark won’t be coming until next month.” Lauralee swore she saw Lola smirk from the corner of her eye. Like her mother, Mark wasn’t one of Lola’s favorite people. Lola turned around and got a small pitcher of the fruit compote. “That’s too bad,” Lola feigned sadness. “Well, I have to get back to work. Enjoy!” Lauralee turned to the Entertainment section of the paper, as was custom to find out what was going on. There were small articles gracing the page, first being her alleged engagement with Mark, which she scowled at as she took a bite. Eating, she slowly skimmed to the bottom of the paper. Lauralee’s eyes bulged out of her sockets and choked on her waffle. Grabbing the paper with shaking hands, she read the last tiny article on the paper: Second Force on Second Album The buzz on new R & B act Second Force has not stopped since their last album broke last July. Now it seems that they are in the studio for their follow up to the self-titled debut for Sony Records. They will be in New York City working with singer-turned-producer… Lauralee skimmed down to the end of the article… They will be in New York for the next 3 weeks. Her heart jumped into her throat as instantaneously her glass of orange juice crashed to the floor. Lola ran in to see Lauralee frozen, holding the paper in her hands and the orange juice all over the floor. “Miss Deverson?” Lola ran to her side and shook her lightly. “Miss Deverson, are you all right?” “Huh?” Lauralee looked from the paper to Lola’s worried face. “Oh, Lola, I’m sorry.” Lola knelt on the floor and picked up the broken pieces of glass. Lauralee joined her on the floor. “I must’ve knocked it over with the paper.” Lola slightly nodded as she got up and grabbed the mop. “Are you all right? You look as if you have seen a ghost.” Lauralee looked at the paper and tried to regain her composure. “No, I’m… I’m fine. Guess I spaced out.” She sat back down and began eating, but this time looking at the paper constantly. After breakfast, Lauralee headed to the shower and let the water pour down her body. The same thoughts raced in her head as when she began this vacation of hers. The same trepidation flowed through her veins as she got out of the shower and got dressed. When she sat at her vanity, she applied her makeup and looked at the picture she had so desperately wanted to forget, but after this morning… “Nope, I’ve got to close this!” Lauralee screamed. She went to the front door where Lola was polishing the silver candlesticks. “Lola, I’m gonna leave. I have to take care of some things. If anyone calls, I’m not here and I cannot be reached. If there is an emergency, call my cell phone OK?” “No problem Miss…” The words were drowned out as Lauralee quickly shut the door and headed out of the house. ~*~ Lauralee got out of her car and headed to Electric Lady Studios, knowing that many Sony artists, including herself, recorded there. The receptionist, knowing who she was, allowed her inside. Lauralee saw Frank, one of the staff at the studio, walking down the hallway. Lauralee put her celebrity smile on. “Hey Frank.” “Lauralee, how are you?” Frank said as she shook her hand. “I didn’t know you were scheduled for today.” “I’m not actually,” Lauralee said. “I was looking for Second Force. You see, I have to ask them about a… project I’m working on with them.” Frank procured a clipboard from under his arm. “Second Force… yeah, they’re in there now finishing up for the day, in Studio 7.” “Great,” Lauralee patted his back. “I’ll see ya later.” Lauralee went past him to the long stretch of corridors where the studios were. Walking towards Studio 7, she saw four guys, easily recognizable as Second Force. The guys, knowing who she was as they opened for her last year on her tour, stopped and smiled. “Lauralee!” Mike Hobbins smiled as he gave her a hug. “Hey guys,” Lauralee hugged the others: Tyson Filmore, Rory Watkins, and BJ Transton. “What are you doing here?” Rory asked. “I’m just getting some studio time in during my break.” “Always working,” BJ laughed. “Absolutely. I’ll see you guys later,” Lauralee smiled as the group left her. Making sure they had rounded the corner, she finally approached the door marked “7.” She was about to open the door, but her entire body froze. Unable to even breathe, she had those feelings wash over her from 6 years ago: the fear, sadness and vulnerability. “Nope,” Lauralee said to herself, “Can’t back away.” She placed her hand on the doorknob, turned and slowly stepped inside. The track was playing in the studio, constantly being rewound and played back. The lights in the studio darkened the figure, but Lauralee automatically knew who it was. She wanted to turn around, and had, when she heard the figure speak. “Guys, forget something?” The figure asked from the boards, not looking up from them. Lauralee turned and stepped forward. “No, they didn’t.” The figure stopped dead in its tracks, turned its head, got up and slowly walked up to her. “Lau? It’s that you?” “Yeah, Alex, it’s me.” ~*~ Lauralee didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the sight of Alex “AJ” McLean. The past 6 years had been good to him, although he had aged somewhat, with slight wrinkles around his eyes, and his hair thinned out. He was wearing a tight black shirt, ripped jeans, and glasses, but it wasn’t the trademark sunglasses she was used to him wearing; they were real glasses, silver wire frames. Alex looked as if he was seeing a ghost in front of him. He actually reached out to touch her arm to make sure she was real. “I… I can’t believe it’s actually you. I mean, here you are in front of me.” “Yeah, who knew right?” Lauralee didn’t know whether to be scared or entranced by his actions. “Wow,” Alex shook his head. “Yeah wow.” Alex quickly pulled out a studio chair for her to sit and then pulled out one for him to face her. He folded his hands and leaned forward. “So…” Alex paused for a moment to think of the words to say. “What brings you here?” “To be honest, I don’t quite know,” Lauralee said. “I was reading the paper and it said you were here recording with Second Force, so…” Alex gave her a quizzical look. “I see.” They both sat facing each other, not knowing what to say to each other. Finally, the silence was too unbearable for Lauralee. “Look, I think this was a mistake.” She got up and went to the door. Alex ran to the doorway and blocked her. “Wait, Lau, please, don’t go.” He closed his eyes. “There’s been so many times I wanted to call you when I was here, or when I knew you were in the same city as me, but I was so ashamed to.” Lauralee looked at him, feeling the pain in his eyes as he opened them again, with a pleading look. “Please, have a seat.” He stepped aside as Lauralee slowly walked past him and took a seat again, this time Alex sitting next to her. “I have to be completely honest with you Alex. There was another reason I took this vacation, besides finishing my tour and all.” “Which is?” “Facing the past… facing my demons.” “What demons do you have to face?” “The demons that caused me to lose everything.” Alex sighed. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past six years, it’s to relive it. Then you can see what you have to fix.” “I’ve relived it everyday of my life, in my dreams.” “That’s not the same as telling someone… someone who was your demon.” Lauralee looked at him startled, tears in her eyes. “I… I don’t know if I can. Where do I start?” “At the beginning.” Chapter 4 Contents Chapter 2 |