Deals
By
Killash
SNIKT!
The
sound of Logan's claws retracting echoed inside the cavernous room. He couldn't
find the source of the dim light that illuminated those gray and cold walls, but
from what he could make out... he had finally found it. A solid lead to what he
was looking for.
Inside
a mountain.
Days
ago, after going through that most monumental adventure that had finally given
him a home to go back to, Logan had climbed on a motorcycle... - he smiled - a
very cool motorcycle,... and had traveled north for days. He had reached the woods,
then the mountains... the
Canadian
Rockies no less, and began looking for a doorway... a cave.,. a window... something!
He
had continued scanning and examining the location Professor Xavier had given him
until his body screamed for a break, then he had sat on a rock, emptied a canteen
of water and began searching again. At last, under the last rays of the sun, he
had found an entrance... then a cave, a stairwell, tunnels, passages, metallic
doors, metallic hinges... he entered the deserted place making his own way...
sometimes breaking locks... sometimes
not. When the way finally became effectively blocked, he made good use of his
powerful adamantium claws and cut his way inside.
Then,
at last, he found a big... round room. -another one- he thought, rubbing his tired
wrists against the bitter cold that reigned over the darkened place. He could
see almost nothing, but what he did see made him shiver in disgust... and uneasiness.
Breathing deeply, he felt it again. That darn feeling... that annoying, frustrating
feeling that threatened to overwhelm his entire mutant being sometimes. The feeling
of knowledge... right there, just out of the reach of his fingertips, but not
quite there. If he tried he could almost touch it... almost. Knowledge he knew
he had, hidden deep inside his brain, but always unreachable, always elusive...
it was maddening.
Despite
his reluctance to come in contact with the furniture... or anything that could
be close to whatever this place was hiding, his muscles demanded a rest, so he
reluctantly sat on a thing that resembled a box. A metallic box. 'Damn! This place
would make Magneto bounce in joy'.
Metal,
metal.. all over the place. Metal... gray walls, cold... dim lights, water...
men with masks, that awful smell, water... flashes... pain... no... not again!
The memories screamed at him from a place unknown, demanding to be heard, acknowledged,
to come outside and live again. But Logan knew better. He knew that those memories
could come out and destroy everything in sight, including Logan himself.
'Danger!
Danger, Will Robinson' - he bitterly thought, half smiling... -'Don't go there,
Logan, not until you've found the son of a bitch who did this to you... not yet...
not yet!'
Logan
opened and closed his hands trying to bring some warmth into the icy fingers.
Cold. So cold. The smells were dusty, old, abandoned... he was somewhere... somewhere
important... but not there... not where it happened... not yet. This was somewhere
else... the smells were wrong, the feeling... it told him something... but it
was different. Something else.
Not
where it happened. He sighed, this time so deeply his lungs ached. He closed his
eyes.
After
all that searching, it's logical to assume that this realization would bring a
storm of savage rage to a person of such... severe... character... as the uncanny
"Wolverine", but no, it didn't.
It
only brought more turmoil to his mind and bitter cold to his body.
It
was right then, when Logan sadly discovered that, despite his strong need to find
out the truth, he really wasn't as ready as he thought he was, to face the cruel
events of his past. Not yet anyway. He knew this, so reluctantly, he backed down
and accepted the fact that it would take more than just an address on a state-of-the-art
computerized map, to show him the way to his own freedom. It would take so much
more.
It
wouldn't be easy.
Deep
down he was thankful this wasn't the place, and as the sudden attack of angst
subsided, he realized that the beating of his heart had been so strong it made
his chest ache almost as much as when he'd stabbed himself with the claws. What
would he do when the time came? What would he do if he found what he wanted? The
people he wanted... Would he kill them? Would
he use those claws to rip the truth out of their throats?
Would
his spirit finally rest?
Would
he find the answer?
A
smell caught his attention and tore him from his musings. Someone was there.
The
smell was getting closer and closer, but Logan didn't flinch. He knew that smell.
He'd been waiting for that smell ever since he left Xavier's mansion.
'He
sure took his time' Logan smiled, his claws extended and the cold inside the cave
made that move more painful than usual.
-'Shit!'
- he thought, frowning. -'That was uncallled for!'
Steps
approached the room, the metal on the floor made the sound louder than normal,
an unwelcome assault on Logan's sensitive ears. He picked a spot near the entrance
and waited.
The
sound stopped. Three blades reflected a reddish light and in a flash they were
half an inch from a throat of the dark figure standing by the entrance. The newcomer
crossed his arms in defiance.
Wolverine
half smiled and retracted his claws. "Don't sneak up on me like that, I could
kill you!"
The
man snorted. "I don't doubt that." he said, scanning the floor, walls
and roof of the place before stepping in. "Love what you've done with the
place!"
Logan
didn't answer. He climbed two steps beside the entrance and checked a mechanism
on the wall. It looked like there was another door hidden somewhere. If he could
find it... yet he knew it would lead nowhere... Shit! He HAD been here before.
The
newcomer scanned the darkness, trying to make out where he was. "What is
this place?" he thought. It was getting colder by the minute as outside,
the night fell over the mountains. After a few seconds of silence Logan finally
spoke.
"You
sure took your time. Got lost?"
"I'm
not familiar with the roads." the man answered, still looking around.
"You
should ask for directions."
"I
don't do that!, I'm a guy."
"Oh...
right!" Logan finished his wall-checking and turned to face the man who once
saved his life. "I forgot!"
A
cynical grin adorned the handsome face of Scott Summers, also known as Cyclops.
He shook his head in mock disbelief and finally sat on the same box Logan had
recently vacated. "So..."
"So?"
Logan crossed his own arms and raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you gonna tell
me to give you back your bike?"
"Didn't
we have this conversation already?"
"Right!
We did," Logan smiled, amused, "about your girl!"
"Right!"
Scott frowned in annoyance, "What's with you? My girl, my bike... Jeez, do
you need a life, Logan?"
Wolverine
snorted.
"Oh,
whatever!" Scott threw his hands up, he was tired and cold. He'd been climbing
mountains all day long, and as his muscles demanded
some
rest he began losing his patience.
Logan
smiled. "Giving up already?"
"It's
late."
"I
know, it's your own fault! It took you way too long to get here, in fact,
"It's
not as easy as it looks!"
"Oh,
for God's sake the trail was clear as a highway!" Logan climbed down one
step and sat down. "I was starting to give up on you!"
"Yeah,
right! You knew I was coming!"
"Been
waiting for you all day!"
"What
makes you think you know me so well?"
"Well!"
Logan smiled, "You're here, aren't you?"
Cyclops
sighed, exhausted. "Fine!" he gave up. "Now, where's the bike?"
"What?"
Logan smiled playfully, "It's not outside? Damn! I knew I should have checked
that meter!"
"Logan!"
"At
the motel."
"You're
kidding!"
"I
don't do that!"
"Logan,
God damnit! Will you cut it out?" Scott lowered his head, he was way too
tired to keep playing this game and he knew that Logan could keep at it forever.
Sometimes he could be such a child!
Logan
smiled a bit more. He hated to admit that that strong initial dislike he'd felt
for Summers back at the mansion, was slowly being replaced by something else.
Something strange. Something only men, with a very peculiar ability to perceive
the world around would understand. Only men.. men who could destroy buildings
with a glance... men who could survive the unimaginable... men with claws.
Something
else.
Perhaps
that's why he'd chosen Scott. Perhaps that's why he had waited for so long in
the cold until he arrived.
"So..."
"So?"
"Did
you find what you were looking for?"
The
question threw Logan off balance for a minute. Just when he thought he had Summers
figured out he did something unusual again.
"Logan?"
Scott asked again, not knowing how to interpret the silence.
"I..."
Logan started, letting his aching eyes sweep the creepy room once again. He hardened
his look. "No... well.. I don't... I'm not sure."
"Nothing
look familiar?"
Logan
frowned, confused at the sudden interest Scott was showing. He narrowed his eyes,
trying to read behind the glasses... but something... inside his head... told
him that Scott was sincere. Or maybe Xavier was playing around inside his mind...
maybe Jean.
He
suppressed those thoughts. No use torturing your heart for a woman you can't have
when you're about to give your trust to the one that can... the one that does.
Better leave that matter alone... for now.
"Well..."
Logan started again, looking for a clear way to answer the question. "I...
have you ever seen a movie you swear you've seen before, but can't remember what
it's about?"
"Yeah,"
Scott took another look around and couldn't avoid a shiver. He knew it wasn't
the cold. "Most times... those movies are bad."
"Yeah.."
Logan nodded. "Really bad."
There
was obviously something wrong with the place, a feeling, vibrations of old evil
silently screamed from the gray walls, decay gave way to memories of something
terrible, something secret... something unfinished. Scott stood up and pretended
to examine a nearby table to hide his sudden discomfort but he couldn't avoid
shivering. Logan didn't miss it.
"But,"
Cyclops continued speaking, " I mean.. nothing really rings a bell or anything?"
Logan
closed his eyes, pushing another assault of memories away. "Everything rings
a bell, that's the problem!"
"You
think this is where..."
"No!"
Logan looked away. "It's not here... not where it happened. This is somewhere
else."
"Good!"
Scott whispered, a second later he noticed Logan's questioning gaze. He shook
his head and changed the subject. "What are you going to do now?"
Logan
frowned one more time, debating whether he should ask what he wanted to ask...
unsure of how he would take it... would he understand?
"There's
a problem..." he began, hoping he was making the correct decision.
"What?
"I
wanted to talk to you"
"When?"
"Now...."
Logan raised an eyebrow and squirmed. "I need to talk to you."
Scott
was about to reply with a very sarcastic remark, when he caught a glimpse of Logan's
eyes and froze at what he saw there. Something he'd only seen once before, the
morning right after he'd stabbed Rogue on the shoulder, when he'd found out that
she was missing. Something...
disturbing, serious, sad. "What is it?" he asked, childish games
momentarily forgotten.
Logan
crossed his arms again, the moment had arrived. - ' Damnit! It's Cyclops... Goddamned
one eyed-California-surfer-apple pie-wonder boy Scott Summers! Will he understand?'-
No
time to ponder now, time to talk.
"Okay,"
he started, "here's the thing: I need your help on something... a favor"
"A
favor? From me? You sure you have the correct guy?" Scott grinned, even his
glasses showed that he was having fun.
Wolverine
grunted. "Fine, do it and I'll give you your bike back!"
"Ha!
You were going to do that anyway!"
"Damn
it Cyclops I..."
"I'm
listening!"
Logan
stopped. Scott had lost the grin. He hesitated.
"I'm
listening, what is it?"
He
sounded sincere... Oh, to hell with it! It was now or never. "All right,
here's the thing. Something's gonna happen pretty soon. Something bad.. a bad
moment... I dread that moment." he added.
Scott
frowned. "I don't follow"
"Like
that's new...."
"Will
you please...."
"Yeah,
all right!... " Logan braced himself for the next few seconds. It was terribly
difficult for him to speak about these things, after all, he was a guy... but
he had to.
For
Jean... for Marie... For everyone's sake.
"See...
I can't remember anything," he began, "about what happened to me...
anything at all! But I can see images. I dream... and then I have these feelings,
sometimes I hear voices and I can't understand what they say, who they are...
all in all... it's a big blur. Then... every now and then I remember little bit,
but it's never been more than images and sounds."
"It
will come to you, Logan, you have to be patient"
Logan
looked up and Scott was suddenly appalled by the look on his face. Fear? Despair?
Anger? All of the above? He shivered.
The
gray walls seemed to darken even more as Logan continued, "Patience... is
not a problem. I know that one of these days, any day now, I'll find what I came
looking for up here, I'll find the correct
place, and with it, I'll find the bastards who did... what they did to me."
Scott
couldn't suppress another shiver. Logan noticed that one too.
"And,
one of these days" he went on, "any day now, everything will come back
to me. Everything. I'll remember the names, the faces, the places... and even
then, it's possible... I mean... I know that I will find a way to handle it. But..."
He
paused, trying to read behind those mirrored glasses, unsure of what would happen
next.
"But
what?" Scott asked.
Logan
hesitated.
"What
is it?"
He
took a chance, he gathered all his strength and, for the very first time he could
remember, he spoke his fears out loud.
"But..."
he lowered his gaze again, "One of these days I'll remember more than all
that... one of these days... I'll also remember the pain, and that's the moment
I'm scared of."
Scott
was speechless. He didn't expect that.
"I
wanted to talk to you about this, because I need your help when that moment arrives."
"What
can I do?" he managed to ask.
"I
want you to kill me. Blast me away with those eyes of yours. I know you can do
it... I know you'll have no problem doing it."
Scott
really didn't expect that one. He stood up in disbelief. "What?" he
blurted out, "Are you insane?"
"Hey,
don't get excited just yet, one eye, hear me out before you start yelling!"
"Yeah,
Right!" Scott was very agitated now. "So explain!"
"It's
like this: I...Oh, shit... I... damnit!" Great time to forget your English,
"It's very possible, probable, that in that moment... I will go nuts, Scott.
Crazy! My brain will remember all that pain and anguish... man! I'll KNOW for
REAL what they did to me... it's not a pretty sight I swear, and I'm sure... my
mind will explode or something!" Logan was pacing now, his face reflecting
sad regret, a finality that hit Scott like a blow to the head.
He
couldn't say anything. Logan went on.
"I
don't know how much you know about what happened, but despite what people say,
I know you're smarter than you look. You must have put pieces together so I know
I don't have to explain to you, that the moment my mind recalls all that cold...
savage... shit... I will go as insane as that night when..." he stopped,
somehow this talk was getting out of his control and he didn't really want to
open up his heart to dickboy just now. It wasn't Logan-like. He hated heart to
hearts.
"The
night when you stabbed Rogue!"
Damn!
It was out of hand already.
"Shit!"
he tried to dodge the bullet, "I think you get the picture, so I need you
to..."
"You
remembered something that night?" Scott wouldn't let go. He couldn't believe
it what Logan had asked him... he couldn't believe that Logan thought he would
just... do it... God! The only thing he did believe was that all this was wrong.
Yes, he had said things before himself, and his distrust for Logan had become
quite clear after that incident with the girl, but he thought different now, he
had changed his mind and that fact alone enraged him.
"It's
none of your business, one eye," Logan kept changing the subject, "the
point is that..."
"I
thought you were just dreaming!" Scott insisted.
Logan
rolled his eyes. How could Summers be so annoying? "I was..." he clenched
his teeth trying to stay in control, "dreaming.. I was having a Goddamned
nightmare! But that's not the point."
"That
is exactly the point!"
Scott
wouldn't let go. He was angry, and he couldn't understand why he was doing this,
but somewhere, deep inside his being, he'd grown an unexplained tolerance for
this animal-like mutant. The man had risked everything to save a young woman he
barely knew from a horrible death. To save thousands of total strangers from terrible
endings. To save three, leather covered idiots from being executed by a very smelly
and cruel beast. But he did nothing to save himself, in fact, he gave up his own
life asking nothing in return. Somehow, with those actions, this man had proven
his worth to Scott Summers, the anti believer, he had crawled under his skin,
and now the thought of killing him was unthinkable, even if
his
charming ways still made him a total jackass.
Scott
went back to that night, he needed to make Logan understand, "You remembered
something, didn't you?"
The
man just shook his head. "It was... pretty intense, okay?"
"So
you stabbed Rogue..." Scott continued, "because what? She touched you?"
"She
touched me later, idiot, I..." Logan closed his eyes, "I really thought
I had killed her." his voice was low now. Inside his anger began growing.
Damned heart to hearts!
Scott
nodded. "What did you remember?"
Logan's
anger rose one notch, but he maintained his control. Damnit Cyclops! "I don't
really know... but whatever it was, I woke up and saw his face instead of hers!"
"Who's
face?"
"His
face... the son of a bitch."
"Did
it ever happen before?"
"No."
"And
you think it will happen again."
Logan
turned his dark, raging eyes toward Scott Summers, they were full of certainty.
"I *know* it will." he whispered. Lesser men would have fled in fear,
but not Scott.
"Why?"
he pressed on, forgetting everything else. "Because it happened once?"
"Yes!"
"What
if you don't go nuts, you want me to kill you anyway?" he raised the tone
of his voice.
"I
will go insane!"
"You're
sure!"
"I
am!"
"So,
I'm supposed to follow you around everywhere? I don't think I'd live through it!
Besides, I thought you couldn't stand the sight of me!..."
He
raised it even more.
"Will
you listen to me?..."
"I
HAVE listened, now you tell me, how will I know? Will you give me a sign? A code?
How will I know? Will your insanity come in stages or head on, 'cause it's pretty
hard to tell the difference! Will you start killing people right away or will
you wait until nightfall? What will you do until I kill you?... Will you go into
town and start smashing things? How will I know the difference? How?" Now
he was clearly asking for it.
"Damn
it, Summers, will you shut up?" Logan was furious now. "I don't know
why I trusted you!"
"Yes,
you DO know, and I know too... and now you have to trust me, when I tell you that
you're the imbecile here, and even when you say you've joined us, you haven't.
You lied!"
"I
what?" Logan was now inches away from exploding. "How dare you say that
I..."
"I
say what I please, Logan, and you should listen for once in your damned life!"
Scott knew he was risking a lot... even his life here, but he wouldn't back down...
not from this one. He would NOT become a murderer without a fight. "You said
you trusted one person before knowing us!"
"Yeah,
Me! And I take it back!"
"You
said you trusted me but you only trust yourself, and even then, you want me to
finish you off because you really do NOT.. because you think you'll become what
you fear you are... a killer..."
"I
AM a killer!"
"You're
NOT!"
"What
the hell do you know, you goddamned... one eyed..."
"You
haven't killed ME yet!"
"I've
been thinking about it for a long time now!"
"But
you never did!"
"I
never found the chance!"
"You've
been missing the chance for the past five minutes!" Scott suddenly lowered
his voice a little bit and tried to prove his point. "Logan, Jesus Christ,
I've been standing here, poking and prodding at you where it hurts the most and
you haven't even gotten those claws of yours out. Not once!"
"What?"
"Logan,
you're not a killer!" he tried to beat some sense into that head, "And
I know you wouldn't hurt anyone, not on purpose. It took me a while to understand
that after that night with Rogue, but you, yourself, made me see the truth with
what you did up on the Liberty statue... you're not a cold blooded killer, and
it's time you stop asking people to take care of your problems for you."
Logan
couldn't believe what he was hearing. For a second he just stood there, stunned.
His anger was replaced
by
confusion. What the hell had just happened? When had this become a pep talk? What
happened to the fight?
The
sudden savage hurricane that had swept all over the cold underground room had
subsided as quickly as it had risen. Nothing had happened, they hadn't touched
each other, but somehow they both knew nothing was the same anymore.
And
then... Scott? Cyclopsboy? Giving therapy to... HIM?
"All
right, who are you and where the hell is Summers?"
Scott
felt his own anger subsiding, and he slowly let out the breath he had been holding.
"I
hate to say this but... it's really me!"
"Prove
it!"
"You're
a dick!"
Logan
chuckled. There was some hope for Cyclops yet.
There
was a long pause as the storm quieted down, then Logan felt the exhaustion crawling
all over his indestructible skeleton. At last he really felt the need for a rest...
in more ways than one.
"So... what's it gonna be? Can I count on you, at least
to protect your flock?"
After
a moment of silence, Scott came to a decision. "I want to make a deal with
you."
"A
deal?"
"You'll
stop acting like a jack ass...."
"Ha!"
"I
know, it's gonna be a bitch, but you'll make it!" Scott smiled and quickly
continued, "You'll follow the rules like you're supposed to and stop being
so goddamned unreliable... you'll take this x-men thing seriously.."
"The
outfits make that very hard!"
Scott
ignored him, "You'll be responsible, Logan, so I don't have to hesitate on
trusting you!" Even behind the glasses, Logan could feel the intensity of
the stare. "You'll join the team
for real..."
"What
about you? What will you do?"
"I..."
Scott stood a little straighter, "I'll make sure you stay sane when that
moment comes!"
"Just
how in the hell will you do that?"
"That's
my problem, you just trust me, I'll see to it!"
It
was Logan's turn to stare. The boy sounded serious, but it was hard to imagine
anyone being able to control the Wolverine when rage took over. Hard to imagine...
would it be impossible?"
"What
if you fail, Scott, what happens then?"
"What
do you want me to do?"
"Take
a good look at me... Fry me...." he took a deep breath, "make it long
and thorough or I won't die."
How
could he stay so cool about this? Jeez, this guy was certainly not what he seemed.
Scott shuddered, "I'll make it quick." he promised.
"Just
make it work." Logan replied.
Scott
nodded. "It won't come to that, you know?" he said after a moment.
"How
can you be sure?"
"I
can't, but... I'm the leader, I'm always right!" Scott's handsome face brightened
up with that famous boyish smile. Logan chuckled.
They
stood there in silence, pondering about the future.
"Will
you come back now?" Scott asked.
"No,
not yet. I'm halfway through... I need to follow this until it dries."
"Okay.
Just... don't forget our deal!"
"Yes
daddy!"
Scott
snorted, shaking his head.
"Let's
get out of here!" Logan suddenly felt claustrophobic, "I'm freezing!"
"First
good idea you've had in your life!"
They
got out of the abandoned compound, thankful to finally get out of that place.
It was night already, but a clear starry sky and a full moon illuminated the place
very well. Logan took a deep breath. He always enjoyed nature... even if it was
cold. He approached some bushes beside the entrance and uncovered Scott's hidden
bike.
The
other mutant smiled. "Keep the bike for a while... I brought my plane."
"You
learned how to land it yet?" Logan joked, remembering the last time.
"Details,
details... You don't know what you're talking about." Scott assured, "I'll
show you how that plane's supposed to be flown one of these days!"
"Ha!
Like I'm going to get on that thing with you, voluntarily..." Logan frowned, "Wait, If you were going
to leave me the bike then why did you come here?"
Scott
smiled. "I forgot!"
'Bullshit!'
Logan thought. He grinned sarcastically, as he always did. "There's still
hope for you Scott!" he said.
Cyclops
started down the path to the place he'd left the plane. The way down HAD to be
easier than the climb. "Take care of the bike..." he told Logan, "And
fill it up before you bring it home."
"Right!"
Logan climbed on the bike. "Kiss the kids for me!" he smiled, knowing
Scott wouldn't miss the hidden meaning of that last remark.
"Logan!"
he stopped.
"Yeah?"
"Stay
away from my girl!"
The
sound of a powerful, and cool, motorcycle echoed on the darkened valley.
