BigDay

The Big Day

“God, I’m so nervous!”
“Don’t worry, Sparky, everything’ll be alright!”
“Don’t call me Sparky, Quacky!!”
“Sorry geez! You’re wedding’s only a week away! You have plenty of time to get ready for it!!”
“Ha! Easy for you to say!!”
“Yeah, it is, isn’t it?!”
Megavolt rolled his eyes and shook his head in disgust.
“So! I am going to be your best man, aren’t I?”
“Of course! You’re my best friend!”
“Who’s going to be the Bride’s Maid?”
“How should I know?! I don’t know who Elle’s going to pick!”
“Oh, like I knew that!”
“What do you think?”
“Of what?!”
Megavolt looked down at his own attire, then Quackerjack got the message. “Oh well, I’m not the kind of guy that thought you, of all people, would wear white!!”
“But do you like it?!!”
“You look alright!”
“ONLY ALRIGHT??????!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to look my best for Elle!! This is a very important day for me and all you can do is criticize!!!”
“Oh well if you don’t want my help, then I guess I’ll go then!!!”
“Fine!! Then I won’t have to hear you complain!!!!!!!!!!!!”
“FINE!!”
“FINE!!!”

“I don’t know who I’m going to pick for a brides maid!… Mom, I am so not picking Tanyia!!…I don’t care if she claims to ‘love weddings’ she’s not being my brides maid!!” Elle gave her mother an exasperated sound over the phone. “well don’t you think it’s a little inappropriate for my own sister to be my brides maid??!…Ugh! Mom!! I’ll talk to you later, ok? Ok?! Yeah, love you too. Bye.”
She sits, exasperated and chills out, switching on her TV and watching the tail end of The Cute Little Lost Bunny Show.
“Well, well, well. Getting ready for the big day, huh? And wasting your precious brain power on this drivel?!”
Elle turns around in her seat to see Negaduck, Public Enemy Number 2. “What do you want!!?”
“Aw, I thought you’d have more compassion for me after that little incident!” he fained innocence.
“Yea…right. I think not, Negaschmuck!”
“Hey! Shut up JaJa!!”
“That’s Ja Tarra to you, pond scum! You want another lethal blow?!!” she let her eyes glow a faint orange.
He shut up and sat down next to her, but not too close. Acting all cool like, as if he wasn’t threatened just then, he took out his machete and started filing his nails down. “I trust I don’t have an engraved invitation coming my way?”
“You might want to check your mailbox, Negs,”
“Oh shit. You didn’t!!!” He dashed out.

He tore down the street to, what appeared to be an abandoned mailbox. He abruptly stopped The Trouble Maker and tripped as he rushed to the rusted metal thing. He, with difficulty, opened the mailbox and looked inside with a gaping mouth and wide eyes. A lonely, crisp, white letter stood there amongst the brown rust. He dared not to touch it.
“Negs? Darling? What’s the matter?” came a peaceful voice from the apartment building. She walked up to him, then turned to see what he was staring at. She picked up the letter, tore it open, and read the gold print. “Aw! Negsie! We’ve been invited to a wedding!”
He stood there silently for a long time. At last, he said, “I know.”

It was hard not to cross paths; they always did the same things everyday with each other. Elle just resolved not to go out, but alas, she had errands to do: payments on the new house, a bouquet, her dress, her hair, etc, etc. It was all too much and too confusing. Was it Donna Martins for the dress or Dona??!! Or was it Dona Maria for the cake??! Sigh, it was all too much to deal with all at once, but alas, it had to be so. She couldn’t trust Elmo with all these things; his mind always aloof.
Not only that, but her family would be coming up in three days!! They never knew she or Elmo were villains!! She felt so stressed she felt she’d faint!
The doorbell. At last! Relief!! “Hi Reggie!!”
“Hi, Ja Tarra! Here’s your bouquet! See, all you gotta do is remember to water it, ok?”
“Sure,”
“Wow, I remember my wedding! It’ll be so exciting to have another friend’s wedding!!”
“If you say so, Reg,” Elle walked to the kitchen sink to give the flowers a good watering. “So, how are you and Mai?”
“Swell! Tye’s doing well too!! For the wedding we’re having Mai’s parents watch her. It’s all set in stone too, so, don’t get cold feet! I’d like to spend time with my month old!”
“I know, Reggie, and I’m sorry, but thank you for being such a good friend!”
“Gee, well, I’ve never really had friends. It’s nice to do this for a change. And… What?”
She was giving him an incredulous look. Elle explained, “ ‘Gee’? ‘Swell’? Who says that anymore??!! What era are you from, man!?”
He straightened up to his full height. “I just happen to have been born in the year 1937, thank you very much!”
“wow. Yer old!”
“I beg you pardon!!?”
“Haven’t you realized that you’re supposed to be fifty three?”
“Sooo?”
“You’re a father of a month old baby girl!!”
“So I started a family a little late! Sue me!”
“A little late?! You could be your wife’s father!!”
“Ja Tarra, I don’t want to hear it!” he warned. Now, as everyone knew, never piss off Reginald Bushroot. If you did, you were dead. Elle dropped the subject.
“Sorry, Reg,”
“Sure, just…don’t talk like that again, ok?” he tried to sound calm, but clearly you could hear the anger in his voice.
“I’ll try!”
“Try hard.” He walked out, angry. As he reached his car on the other side of the street Ja Tarra called out her apartment window, “I’m sorry Reggie!!!”
He waved to acknowledge her, but got in without a word and drove off.
“I hope he’s ok,” Ja Tarra asked herself concerned.

He awoke, groggily and read the note left on his dresser:
Elmo, darling,
Remember to eat before you take your medication, ok? Your tux is on the back of the bathroom door. Take a shower, get nice and clean. And no you may not wear your goggles. See you at 11 on Church street, number 54, ok?
Love you!
Elle
“Aw,” he got up and started his day.

It was one in the afternoon. Where COULD he be!!?? Elle was in her dress, sitting at the alter, bored. Most of the guest were asleep…well, it was cause they were elderly.

“Oh my gosh!!” he ran out the door, a flash of yellow. He jumped into his car and quickly backed up and floored it, as he always did, but this was more urgent. He was missing his big day! Yet again, he disobeyed all the laws of the road, driving on the sidewalk, in the wrong lane, in the oncoming lane, running reds, down the wrong way on a one way road. He knew life would be hell once they MADE him drive by the rules. This city could be confusing. He made his own roads!
At last he found the place, double parked by a fire hydrant and jumped out and ran up the stares. He burst through the double doors, making his grand entrance. “Here I am! I’m….late… Where is everyone?”
“They went home, sir.”
“Oh.” Suddenly he grew wide eyed and his jaw went slack. “Uh oh. Oh no… Elle’s gonna kill me!!” He left and decided to check where the reception would be. The address was taped onto his dashboard, so he wouldn’t loose it. The parking lot was empty. No place to go but, gulp, home.
When he reached the house he saw all these cars. “Oh no,” He looked up, through the windshield, at their house. He grimaced then tried parking in the driveway. He backed up to a neighbor’s driveway, cut across their lawn, another neighbors and finally to his driveway. He got out and heard there were people out back and people inside. Where would Elle be?
He heard her complaining indoors. So, through the front door he went. “Eh, hi…everyone..”
“Elmo!! Where in gods name have you BEEN!!!!??? It’s four in the afternoon!!!!”
“I have an excellent explanation, magnet mine,”
“You’d better.”
“See, I got up and read you letter and went to cook breakfast. Only the towel by the stove caught on fire, as did the table, so, being who I am, I grabbed the hose to put it out, unfortunately, my coffee was in my hand and I spilled it on the tux” he slapped a hand over his eyes. “I went to clean that up, but by that time the linoleum floor was melting, I put it out but then the stench was too much so I got the fan, only to blow a fuse and set the other wall on fire…”
“You are such a hazard when you’re between meds….”
“Heh heh,”
“You did at least remember to take them, didn’t you?”
“Er. I tried, tweeter, but I kinda gave it back…”
“Cause you didn’t eat,”
“Exactly.”
“Sigh. I can’t stay mad at you, ever,” she hugged him and he accepted and returned. Everyone thought they really were a cute pair, however different they might be.
Nat Sputterspark and Fransys Watt walked up to the pair. “Well, boy knows how to make an entrance!” Fransys said.
“Boy needs to wear a watch!” Nat argued.
“Eh, hi…Dad…” Elmo said ashamed.
“You never knew the importance of a deadline except if it has you in the spotlight!”
Elmo was speechless. His mother, Marilyn came over to perhaps calm her husband.
“Aw, come on Nat, ol’ boy! The kid’s had a rough day! He practically burnt his place down trying to get here!”
“Exactly!! Maybe if he stopped daydreaming like an oaf and paid attention, like he’s supposed to he wouldn’t have singed his walls!!”
Elmo couldn’t stand the degradation his own father was putting him through, so he ran upstairs to his room.”
“Boy’s STILL a big wuss!!”
“That boy is my son-in-law!!” defended Fransys.
“Not yet Fran!!”
Fransys’s eyes narrowed, threateningly as he growled. “You don’t deserve him.” And with that turned to perhaps talk to Elmo. He and Elle went up the room Elmo shut himself up in. He knocked softly. “Elmo? It’s Fransys and Elle, can we come in? please?”
They heard his unlock the door and open it. Elmo was already on his way back to the bed, sobbing when they came in. the large cat shut the door behind him and his daughter and Elmo sat on the edge of his bed, crying. The cats sat on either side of the rat and comforted him.
“Hey, hey, son. I know you make my Elle the happiest gal in the world! You father doesn’t appreciate what a fine young man you are!”
“Th, thanks, Dad,” and he hugged the beefy cat, Elle snuggled Elmo’s back.
Suddenly, a soft knock came at the door. “Who is it?” Fransys asked.
“It’s me, Marilyn. May I come in?”
“Oh, sure thing Mrs. Sputterspark,”
Elmo’s mother walked in. “I’m so sorry, Elmo dear. You know how your father gets,”
“Why do you think I LEFT?!”
“Home? I can understand.”
“Yeah, this is coming from a breed that eat their own young,” Fransys commented.
Marilyn looked at Fransys discouragingly and Elmo began laughing. “Or…Or..” Elmo said between burst of laughter. “Or siblings beat each other up!” he cracked himself up.
“I don’t think it was that funny…” Fransys said, dumbfounded.
Elle shook her head. “It’s the lack of his medication…”
“Oh….I see… well! He’d better have some. Good luck you two! I’m starved!!” and with that, the male cat went downstairs for some grub. Marilyn shook her head, arms folded and followed him down the stares.
Elle got out the spare bottle, got the proper dosage and stopped downstairs for a second to get a muffin then went back up and gave it to Elmo, who was still laughing hysterically.
“Honey, eat. You need to,”
“Th, thanks, Elle,” he responded, giggling. The pills were in the first bite that he swallowed whole with a ravenous hunger. He finished the muffin and commented, “Say! That was pretty---” he passed out in mid sentence.
“And that is why I said he should do that first, this morning…” she got up and joined civilization downstairs.
“How is he?” someone asked Elle
“He’s sleeping.
“We heard him laughing up there,” another commented. “Creepy…”
“He’s really a sweetheart.”
“Even though he’s clinically insane?”
“Yes.” She said sternly and she pushed past the crowd to get to the nearest phone. Rescheduling was in order.
About two hours later Elle came back to the crowd and stated. “I’ve worked out that this wedding will be held in four days.”
“Elle, dear,” said her mother, “Where are some of us going to stay until then?”
“I’ll stay with Elmo at his place and you can have run of the house, ok?”
“Isn’t that a little against tradition?” someone commented.
“Isn’t this marriage?”
“Er…”
“I don’t care. THIS is how this will be done!” When Elle wanted things her way, she MADE them that way! “Ok, the time things have been move to.” Everyone waited, eager to learn. “The wedding will be held promptly at five pm we will be there at the church from 4:45 to 6:45. from there we will convene at the same restaurant right after. The place closes the hall to us at midnight. Everyone got it? That’s the ONLY announcement I will make! None of this ‘what was that again?’ RIGHT Tanya??!!”
“uh huh,”
“Good!” Elle pushed past the crowd and stomped up the stares to where Elmo was sleeping. When she entered the room, he was yawning and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He blinked twice and smiled groggily at her. “Hi,” he said with a floaty, not-all-there, kinda voice.
“Hi. How you feeling?”
“Eh!”
She went to kiss him on his forehead but he sat up to kiss her lips instead. He leaned against the pillow, looking drowsy, but was really under the influence of the medication.
Elle felt horrible that he had to take it till the doctors said otherwise. She was fine with him the way he was! Clinically insane! Hmm…maybe some wore off on her? Perrhaps not.