Kilthalia
“T’was the day of Negaduck’s birthday and all through the hideout, ev’ry creature was stirring, including that mouse,”
“I’m NOT a mouse, Quackerjack!!!!!!!”
“Well how it’s gotta rhyme somehow Megs!”
“I don’t care! I’m still not a mouse!!”
“Is everything ready?” asks Bushroot.
“Ready and Wilco and Roger there!” says The Liquidator.
“Oh shut up, Liquy!” yells Quackerjack.
“Where’s the box?” asks Bushroot.
“Have no fear! It’s right here!” announces The Liquidator coming from another room.
“I hope he likes it! I went through a lot to get it!” says Megavolt.
“Hey, Veggie! Stand guard!” exclaims Quackerjack.
“Right!”
“What’s he got?” Quackerjack refers to what presents Negaduck will be getting.
“Well,” Megavolt begins. “He’s got something from us!” they gloat with pride. “He’s got something from a few crime bosses, elsewhere. Something from a girl or two!” The three around the table snickered. “And something from his…” With alarm and shock, Megavolt exclaims, “His Mother!!”
They look at each other in surprise.
“Negs got something from his Mom?!” Exclaims Quackerjack. “Wh…Where from?!” He snickers.
Megavolt reads the tag. “Hmm…WOW!”
“From where?!” Quacky whines.
“Er…someplace in Europe… er something!”
“My Mom never sends me anything!” Quackerjack whines yet again.
“That’s because she’s probably dead!” taunts The Liquidator. Megavolt and Liquy laugh, tauntingly as Quacky angrily says with his hands balled up into fists, “That’s Not funny!!”
Bushroot rushes in, out of breath. “He…he’s coming!”
“Quick! Get into positions and turn off the lights!”
Bushroot gives a tired groan and takes his position.
In the stare case Negaduck grumbles to himself, “Today is going to be the worst day of my life,” Not really knowing what he was in store of, but knew he would hate it, opened the door at the top of the stares where everyone was hiding. He flipped on the light switch with an irritated look.
“SURRPRISE!!!” the four in hiding yelled and jumps out of hiding. Startled, Negaduck tripped backwards and slips on a stray roller skate, hurling him out the door. With the force of the wind, the door shuts behind Negs as he falls down the stares, a story down. The Four now hear an angry boss as he stomps up the stares two at a time. He barged in and slammed the door open. Someone quietly said, Happy Birthday, Boss,”
“WHAT ARE YOU KNOBS TRYING TO DO!!?? KILL E??!!”
“Well, geez, we didn’t think you’d trip on Quacky’s stupid skates!” explained Megavolt.
“You’re right! You DIDN’T think!!”
Exhausted, Negaduck sat down in a chair that was in the middle of the room and put his feet up on the table where the presents were. “What’s all this garbage?!” Negaduck said, pointing to the boxes on his favourite footstool; the table. He though, sort of calmly, he can’t fight his birthday. It was no use trying to.
“Well, these are your birthday presents,” says Quackerjack.
With a heavy sigh, Negaduck says with an open hand, “Alright, let’s have ‘em!”
Bushroot gets a box and hands it to Megs, who in turn hands it to Liquy and then to Negs, who then tiredly opens it. The devilish duck stops, looks at the anxious on lookers and takes out a hand grenade shaped coffee mug from the box. “This is from Tony Capone and Mangey Mugsey in Michigan. He leans forward and places it on the table. He throws the box behind him along with the paper. Quackerjack picks up the next box and hands it to Negaduck. He looks at the tag. Surprisingly, he got excited, took his feet off the table and tears the paper off. “It’s from Red and Kat!” From that box he pulls out a duel shaped heart frame. Negs grins.
“What is it?” asks Bushroot.
Negs turns it around so they can see a picture of a very young Negaduck and a girl in each arm on opposite sides of the picture. Both women were gorgeous. He places it, facing him, right next to the mug. Negs puts his feet back up and throws the box behind him. “Next!”
Megavolt hands the impatient duck another box and says with a snicker, “It’s from your mom,”
Negaduck looks at him cockeyed and thinks it had to be a prank. He takes the box anyway and opens it, probably expecting a bomb or a pie popping surprise. He looks in and slowly takes out a 12-inch switchblade knife. He also takes out a letter, which he reads to himself:
Drake,
I thought you could use it to kill your better half, or at least your father. Remember to keep it clean and she’ll last you a lifetime. I stole it from your father when he wasn’t looking. He got it from some mob boss in the east.
Love,
Mother
Negaduck folds, then stuffs the letter in an inner pocket of his jacket and puts the knife on the table. “Alright, what else do you saps have fer me?”
The others look at each other proudly and Megs hands Negaduck the last box. The box that came with the knife was tossed to the floor.
“It’s from all of us,” Bushroot says.
“Ug.” Negaduck said, eyes shifted to the skies for some help from those wacks. He takes the box and feels that it’s heavy. Upon opening it and peering in, Negaduck received a shock. “You morons got me a CAT!!!???” It was a grey longhaired Persian kitten. The kitten hisses and swats at the annoyed duck.
“See?…It fits your perrsonality perrfectly!” jokes Quackerjack. Negaduck picks the creature up with one hand by the scruff of its neck. “What in hell am I going to do with a cat!!?” he says throwing the box at them. Negaduck drops the kitten and walks up to the four, whom back to the wall. The demon duck seems homicidal.
The kitten runs up and jumps onto the back of the chair’s backrest. When it reaches the top it jumps onto Negaduck’s shoulder. Still glaring at the four, Negs picks up the kitten and roughly puts it on the table.
Still perrsistant, after his hand moved away, the kitten walked up to it and rubbed against it.
“A…At least it…likes you…” Quackerjack Stammered.
With this, Negaduck turned and went to the far side of the table where he had been sitting and gathered up his presents in one box and sticks the cat on his shoulder. He then turns to the terrified four and says, “I’ll be back!” and leaves.
“Well, that went smoothly!” says Megavolt
“Oh shut up!” the three say.
Negaduck was walking down the street with his box of presents under one arm and occasionally pets the kitten. He came upon some hookers who comment, “Aw! What an adorable little kitten Negsie!!”
With this, he smirked and thought to himself, “Having a cat may not be o bad after all!”
The End?