Broken Silences
By Zoe Wheeler
“Em?” Zoe asked, whilst sitting down next to my best friend on the cream sofa, and looking at her, she was crap with conversation starting.
“Yeah?” Emily asked, whilst getting bored, and looking at the clock, truth be told, Em was crap at conversing as well, we had build our friendship up on smiles, grunts, and nods, and that was the best way.
“Exactly how long have we lived here?” Zoe asked, trying to recall it for myself, but that was a hopeless three seconds of my times wasted, thinking hurts.
“18 months, 1 week, 4 days, 17 hours and 37 minutes exactly, and Charlie, who you still persist to describe to be your ‘mate’ has lived here for:” sounding pissed off at the fact that her boyfriend, Matt still hadn’t moved in. Even though he promised that he would 18 months, 1 week, 4 days, 17 hours and 39 minutes ago “8 months, 1 week, 4 days and god knows how many hours”. Em moaned as she started tapping her fingers on the edge of the sofa “when is he going to call, he knows I hate it when he doesn’t call, anything could have happened to him” she moaned, still tapping her fingers on the arm of the sofa, and taping her foot on the solid oak floor, her trainers making a deep drumming on the floor.
“He will hun, knowing him, he’s probably just overslept, and he will call, if he still wants to be a man” Zoe re-assured her, whilst hitting Charlie over the head, trying to distract him.
“What are you going to do?” Emily asked quickly, zpe could feel Emily’s eyes looking at her as she scowled at Charlie, who was playing on the playstation – still, I swear to God, that even if Britney walked past naked he wouldn’t notice.
“Un-mentionable things” I said, as there was suddenly a beep from the TV, before Charlie gave up, and switched it off.
“Ohhhh balls” said Charlie who had once again lost to the playstation, “I don’t like the sound of what you’re planning” he mentioned, whilst standing up, and walking towards the door.
“You wouldn’t” Emily and Zoe smiled together, that was the great thing about us, Emily always knew what she was thinking, well, not always, because she’d be repulsed.
“Just going round James’, you going to come?” Charlie asked, as he pulled on his old puma’s, and pulled his hoody on, before slowly walking into the living room again.
“No” Zoe said quickly, returning one of the endless pieces of coursework, which was sat on the table in front of her
“Well is it ok if everyone else comes round tonight?” Charlie asked quickly,
“Uh huh, sure mate” she replied, picking up my pen, and sucking it to help with my thinking about one of the essay titles in front of me.
“For petes sake, when are you 2 going to give up on being ‘mates’ and start going out” Emily had spoke before thinking again “sorry” she mumbled, looking down at her feet, and pulling on of her knees into her chest, and hugging it.
“Shut up” Charlie and Zoe both cursed together, before bursting into fits of laughter, with Charlie starting to tickle me, as they collapsed down on the floor, she was knelt over Charlie, straddling him, resting on his stomach, just like, then.
“I will win” Zoe said, tickling him again, and, as per usual, she did win, making him surrender “mwahahahahaha” she laughed evilly. Charlie had a soft spot for me, he always had done, but it had only become mainly apparent on holiday. He stood up, before picking me up, and carrying me out of the door, and down the street towards James’, before letting me slump down onto the sofa.
“My feet are cold,” Zoe moaned, curling up, trying too warm them up, before giving up, and scowling at Charlie
“So?” he looked down at me, he was so tall, and with her being so short, it made her feel intimidated, I shivered as he playfully whacked me across the head, I growled at him as he walked away, and banged on Matt’s door
“I’ll get a cold, you know I hate being ill,” I moaned some more, all I did was moan, everything with living with a national pop star was getting too me, we had photographers outside our door every morning, I even found one in the bathroom the other day, just like flies, they get bloody everywhere.
“Ohhhh, poor little Zoe” Charlie mumbled in a motherly voice. I hated it when he used that tone, it was so patronising, so, derogatory in some ways, and if I hated one thing, it was derogatoriness towards me.
“I don’t know why I’m nice to you, I let you stay in my flat free of charge, you eat all the food, drink everything remotely alcoholic before I get the chance to put it away, you’re evil” I reprimanded him, before crossing my legs, pouting at him
“I know, but ya love me, don’t you” he teased, that was certainly true
“No” I lied bluntly,
“You do really, cause I take you to all of those nice glittery premieres, and away to nice places” he teased, before Zoe began to blush, she knew what was coming next.
“Those do make it better, and meeting Sean William Scott, hello there!” she joked around, poking out my tongue
“See you love me really!” he said, ok, Charlie is officially a teasingly annoying bastard
“I suppose so” Zoe said before muttering under my breath “more than you will ever know” she got up, slowly walking into the kitchen and helping herself to some orange juice, before sitting back down on the cream leather sofa
“Hi Nill”
“Hey Zoe, just a quick quessie, where’s your shoes?”
“Ask the freakishly tall one named Charlie” Nill looked over at him
“I decided to give her a lift over here”
“Literally?”
“Yeah”
“You could have at least picked some shoes up”
“Well, I was going to, but she kept me long enough, so I just decided that it would be the quickest way to get her here”
“I didn’t even want to come, Matt smells, and James stares halfway to space to much”
“Well, we need you here, you’re critical, and you were right about the songs on the album, and all of the first 4 chart entry’s, so, I brought her too check out the new album”
“Oi, I don’t smell”
“You do”
“Cheers, when are you two lovebirds” they butted in before he could finish his
sentence
“We’re not going out” he just looked at them as if to say ‘well why not?’ Charlie and Zoe just looked at each other, after thinking about what happened in the Maldives during the summer, and turned away from each other
“Bitch”
“Bastard”
“Slag”
“What did you just call me, there is no way I’m a slag, and you know I’m not I hate you so much”
“What I was only joking”
“Didn’t sound like it”
“God, strike of PMT”
“I’m going home”
“You cant, you haven’t got any shoes”
“JAMES”
“What”
“I’m borrowing your trainers”
“Ok whatever, just not me new vans”
“Bye Nill, bye James, bye Matt” she walked out of the door, and ran down the street.
“What, you know what we’re like, we argue all of the time” Charlie replied as everyone in the flat was staring at him
“Like an old married couple, for Petes sake, when are you going to get it together?”
“She doesn’t feel the same”
“Charlie you fuckwit, she does, you’re all she goes on about when she’s away from you, and it’s the same for you, get a hold of your self, and go after her. God no’s what she’ll do to herself this time” said Matt referring to the last argument they had, Zoe had ended up stabbing her legs with a compass
“No, not again, I won’t let her do it, I’ll back soon” he ran out of the door, and along the road, he saw her stood there on the corner
“Zoe, Zoe, Zoe, wait” she turned around, looking straight at him before stepping out into the road, he had turned around, seeing the look on his face, he knew that he had hurt her. He’d only seen that face on her once before, that was when her parents chucked her out after an argument about her spending too much time with him. As he did, he heard a screech of tyres, turning around again, running as fast as humanly possible to the corner. What he found wasn’t a pretty sight, her hair was stuck to her face with blood, as she lay unconscious, he took his jacket off and putting it over her. He fumbled around in his pockets for his mobile, dialling 999 and ringing the ambulance, he whispered into her ear as people started to crowd around them. “Zoe, listen too me, I’m a stupid twat, I know I am, but that time in the Maldives it meant so much to me. I know I was your first, and I wish you had of been mine, you’re special too me, you’re my best friend, and not many guys have such a beautiful best mate as you. I need you here, don’t go” Matt, Nill and James had heard the crash, and pushed to the front of the crowd, sensing that it was either Zoe or Charlie, James saw her first, he stood in front of Nill.
“I don’t want you to see her, go back to the flat, ring Emily”
“No”
“I’ll do it,” said Matt, already on the phone to her “babes, its Matt…I don’t think that’s important…it’s Zoe…she’s had an accident…really bad…hit by a bus…Charlie found her…in one word, distraught…” Emily had left the house in a hurry. She saw the bus, and ran towards the crowd of people before pushing to the front, and kneeling down next to Zoe
“Come on Zoe, you’re strong, you can get through this, god, I sound like Daniel Beddingfield, eurgh. When you wake up, I’m going to make that stupid blithering idiot next to you tell you how he feels, and you’re going to tell him how you feel, then you can stop being mates and go out”
“Charlie, you go in the ambulance with her, I’ll take Emily down in the car, we’ll be there soon, ok?”
“Y…y…y…yeah, what ever”
In the ambulance, the paramedics asked;
“Are you her boyfriend?”
“Not yet”
“So you like her?”
“Yeah, a lot, we’ve both been to stupid to let anything happen”
“What’s her name?”
“Zoe Wheeler”
“And your name?”
“Charlie”
“Surname, sorry, we need it for procedure, and to get you treated for shook, you aren’t hurt, are you?”
“Simpson, no, I’m fine”
“Charlie Simpson as in Charlie Simpson from busted?”
“Yes”
“First famous person we’ve had in the back of this ambulance”
“Ok”
“How long have you known each other”
“15 years, I’m 2 months younger than her”
“How old is she?”
“18”
“Ok, so how did it happen, obviously she was hit by the bus, but what happened
before that?”
“Well, before I left for James’ this morning, we were just talking, and then I took her over too James’, but without her shoes, which pissed her off, then when we were there, Matt decided he’d, well be matt”
“Be Matt?”
“Annoying, and then we had a stupid argument, I don’t even know what I did wrong, she ran out of James’ and down the road, I ran after her, and called her, she just walked out into the road, and then she was hit by the bus. O god, it’s all my fault, if I hadn’t have took her too James’ she’d be ok, she wouldn’t be fighting for her life, its all my fault”
“It’s not your fault”
“I don’t know how much you know, but what are her chances of surviving?”
“It’s about 60%, but if you hadn’t kept her warm, and hadn’t kept talking to her, it would be much lower”
“Thanks” he looked down at his watch, and then felt around in his pocket, he felt his wallet, opening it, he saw the picture of them taken on holiday all of 2 weeks earlier. He looked at it, smiling, that was taken 3 day’s after they got there, and the day after they slept together, and 2 day’s before they left. He saw that in her left hand was something, he opened it, seeing the picture of them taken the night that they went into number one, that was some party. He closed it again, before taking her right hand, and putting the picture of them on holiday in it, before closing it. “Zoe, please don’t do this to me, I need you, you’re special to me, I guess what I was trying to tell you earlier was, was that I love you” as he said this, there was a loud beep
“Charlie, can you stand back, she’s in cardiac arrest”
“Zoe, don’t you dare die on me, I’ve just declared my undying love for you, and I don’t plan on letting you go anytime soon”
“She’s settled, after being shocked to 250 twice, Tony, get her in quick, and make sure that there is some OE negative blood in there. She’s lost quite a bit from the slash on the back of her head, Charlie, do you know who anyone in her family who has OE negative?”
“I know her dad has, but they haven’t spoken for 3 years, and they moved to the south of France last year”
“Any friends?”
“I do, I should have said then”
“Are you willing to give blood?”
“I’ll do anything for her”
“Right, follow into recuss, and then I’ll get them to take some from you”
“Thanks”
“Who’ve we got?” The doctors asked as the ambulance arrived in the hospital
“Zoe Wheeler, aged 18, hit by a bus in Finchley, north London, went into cardiac arrest en-route, charged her too 250 twice, been critical since”
“Right, we’ll take her from here” they quickly pushed her into recuss; Charlie followed, before stopping outside, and watching her, stood numb. The others arrived; standing with him, just looking into the room, after 10 minutes, Charlie broke down
“Its all my fault, its all my fault”
“It’s not, you did everything you could, she’ll be ok” said Emily, reassuring herself as well as him. A doctor came out after 15 minutes,
“Mr Simpson, we need some of your blood, there’s a few questions we need to ask”
“Ok”
“These are personal, I know, 1. Have you had sex in the last month?”
“Yes”
“2. Protected or unprotected”
“Unprotected” Charlie said shamefully
“3. Do you know that persons full medical, and sexual history”
“You’ve got in front of you” Charlie mumbled embarrassedly, Emily stared at him, Matt was smiling, Charlie hung his head down, looking to the floor
“Ok, so you’ve swapped bodily fluids once before then” Matt couldn’t help but have a huge grin on his face, nearly laughing at Charlie’s embarrassment
“Yes”
“Ok, let’s get you in, we’ll be taking about 500 ml”
“Ok” he walked in, before getting directed to a bed where he was told to take his shirt off, then laid down, he was connected to a bag and pump, as he felt the blood being drained from his arm, he felt light headed.
“What the hell are you smiling at?” Emily asked Matt as she stared at him
“Just something the doctor said”
“What was so funny?”
“’So you’ve swapped bodily fluids once before then’” suddenly, Emily slapped him
“what was that for?”
“She was a virgin”
“She didn’t act like it”
“It was an act, she didn’t want Charlie to know that she was” suddenly one of the ambulance men came up behind them
“Maybe it would be best if you waited in the relatives, room”
“Ok”
“And not that I was listening into your conversation, but he knew she was”
“You were obviously listening to the conversation, and what Charlie was telling
Zoe, what did he say?”
“That he loved her, and that he would do anything for her”
“That’s been o so obvious for the last about 10 months”
“Is he ok in there? He obviously does love her and will do anything for her, he hates needles” said James’
“He’s fine, who wants to look after this?” he said holding up a bag of Zoe’s things
“Maybe it would be best if Charlie had it”
“I’ll take it into him”
“Can I do it, I want to see Zoe, she’s my best friend, all 3 of us have known each other for the same amount of time”
“Ok, there you go” Emily slowly walked into the room, she looked at the bag, seeing it fill up with blood, she looked at his face, the colour was draining from it quicker than what the blood was into the bag “you love her, don’t you?”
“Emily, you know I do”
“Just look after her, and when did you sleep with her?”
“On holiday”
“How did it happen?”
“It just did” she looked at him “you know this morning, well we were just play fighting like that when we were getting ready to go out, and I ended up on top of her, and we kissed, then one thing lead to another, and we didn’t go out”
“You were careful with her?”
“Yes”
“You obviously weren’t, you said unprotected”
“She didn’t want to use anything, she said she trusted me, that she knew me well, and I knew that she was a virgin”
“So you knew that there was no chance you wouldn’t catch anything off of her?”
“No, it wasn’t that, I wanted her to have it her way, so it was special to her. We didn’t do anything that she didn’t want to” he had tears forming in his eyes “I swear I was careful, I just did what she wanted” the doctor came up to her
“Excuse me, can you please go to the relatives room, its clear that you’re upsetting him, Zoe doesn’t need people around her being upset”
“Ok” she walked out of the door, and stood watching, after half an hour, they were both taken out, one of the female doctors spoke to Nill
“We’re taking her up to intensive care, she’s in a coma, she can hear everything that we are saying, she just can’t respond”
“What about Charlie?”
“We’re taking him up as well, we’ll put them in the same room, we’ll keep him in over night, just to monitor him”
“Ok, thanks for telling us” she told the others who followed the doctors up, and as they walked into the room, they saw Zoe with bandages around her head, and tubes coming out from all over her body. Charlie was sat in the chair next to the bed in the chair; he was staring down at her. Nobody knew what to say to each other, James sat down on the bed next to Zoe, taking her hand
“Hey, Zoe, I know you like the trainers which you took earlier, I’m going to let you keep them, and when you wake up, I’m going to get a new pair, as a little present. Hurry up and wake up, you need to see Charlie’s face, it’s a picture, he looks like he’s been slapped around the head by a trout” Charlie looked up, before looking down at Zoe again
“Hey, Zoe, its Matt, its true he does look like that, he might not like looking like a fish, but it sure is funny. I’m going to try and take a picture of him, just a sneaky one, and then show it to you when you wake up” Nill sat next to James
“Hey dude, come on, wake up, we need you, you’re the only one who can cook, we’ll all starve if you aren’t here to cook for u. Either that or we’ll have to live on a diet of McDonalds, pizza, KFC. When you get home, you’ll have a pizza, a bucket of chicken, and burgers and chips for flat mates”
“We’ll have turned into the fast food rockers – scary” said Matt, his blood starting to curdle at the thought of dressing in that horrible blue stuff with tights
“Let’s hope not, eh? I don’t think I could go out with you if you wore tights Matt, it would put me off slightly. And anyway, you’d best wake up soon, I tell ya why, I can’t cope with trout face on my own, you’re the only one who knows how to deal with him. And when you do wake up, I’m going to take us all to Alton towers, hopefully this time you won’t be sick on oblivion” Emily smiled, giving Zoe a hug
“I love you Zoe, I can’t tell you with everyone else around, they’ll only laugh, you know that time, on holiday, this summer, well, it was the best, we laid around on the beach all day, and went out all night. And that time, on the Thursday night, well, that meant a lot to me, I think we should do it again sometime” Charlie looked down as he’d finally been left alone by the others, there was a knock on the door
“Here’s some of Zoe’s things, the others asked me to give them too you”
“Thanks” he took it, looking in it, he saw her fleece, he opened the bag, and took it out, he smelt it, he took he, hand, holding it, then he opened her purse. He saw a picture of them when they were 10, at his house, in the paddling pool, in the background, he saw her mother, she realised that losing her mother must have been hard. She didn’t even have a contact address or number, he couldn’t tell her about the accident, ‘what if, what if she dies’ he thought to himself, shuddering at the thought of losing her. He looked into the purse again, seeing another 3 or 4 various pictures of them, the most heart wrenching for him was a picture that they had had taken the day before, in a photo booth. He was hugging her, her hugging him; her head rested on his chest, even though she was sat on his lap, he saw how good she looked, how different from now, her hair down and straight. Then, opening another section of her purse, he saw something which he hadn’t seen before, it was a piece of crumpled paper, he opened it, reading the note, it was in her writing. ‘Charlie, I guess I'm writing you this because I cant say it, I love you, you’ve broken my heart on more than one occasion, but, I’m the one person who has stayed true to you, and who will always stay true, no matter what happens. If the band split tomorrow, I’d be there for you, if the band ever splits, I’ll be there for you, and you know it. I guess what I’m trying to say more than I love you is maybe that you are a true friend, one I never want to lose, I hope you feel the same. I need you in my life; more than anyone else. I love you. Zoe XXX’ he had tears in his eyes, he rested his head down on her stomach, clutching her left hand with his right, holding the note and her fleece in his right.
He woke at 5.30, after a disturbed night, as he looked up to Zoe, she still hadn’t woken
“Looks like the guys have brought you in some flowers, doesn’t it, and some of my stuff” he said looking over to the CD player, CD’s, and his guitar “why don’t I sing you a new song, its called special too me, and its about you. It’s the first time I’ve sung it so, you’ll have to be patient with me”. He picked up his guitar “you went away, I didn’t find it funny, I need you here, because your special too me” that was all he could sing before breaking down into tears “I love you”. He found the year 3000 CD, “as much as I hate this song, I’m going to let you listen to it” and putting on late night sauna. The doctor came in as ‘feels like heaven trapped between your thighs’ was on, Charlie smiled slightly, hoping to hell that he didn’t have kids who liked them, cause it would look rather desperate if he was listening to one of there own songs
“Good song” The doctor smiled, picking up her notes from the end of the bed
“Thanks” Charlie mumbled ‘shit’ Charlie thought to himself
“Who sings it?” The doctor asked as he took Zoe’s blood pressure
“I dunno, it’s her favourite song. I saw it on TV, that it sometimes helps if you
play things that the person in the coma likes” Charlie said, impressed with himself that he’d been able to remember something so irrelevant at the time
“It hasn’t been proven, but it’s a good idea, is this the case?” the doctor smiled, picking it up
“Yeah” Charlie smiled, ‘god bless Zoe for taking out the front and putting it on her wall, even though she lives in the same house as me’ he thought, really didn’t see the point, he could get the cd’s free from the press if he wanted
“No front” the doctor noticed
“She always buys the CD with the poster in it, and puts it up” Charlie laughed
“Oh well, I’ve just done her obs, she’s perfectly stable, its just a matter of time before she wakes up, hopefully, it should be soon” The doctor nodded
As two months passed, it became obvious that it wasn’t going to be anytime soon that she was going to wake up, every single day, there had been somebody there with her, Charlie kept her fleece with him all of the time, and the note. It was Christmas Eve, Charlie was sat by the side of the bed, he’d brought her present in early, and he held her hand.
“I got you a present, it’s a bit stupid really, seeing as you can’t open it, but I will” he looked down at the silver wrapped, oblong box. He opened the paper, and then the box, taking out a white gold bracelet, and putting around her wrist “I love you” he kissed her lovingly on her lips, he saw her eyes flutter, and her hands moved “Zoe? Zoe? Zoe?” he looked down at her, before kissing her again, her eyes opened slightly more this time, “I’m just going to get a doctor” he ran outside “I think she’s waking up” there was a sudden mass of movement from around the ward as Charlie announced his news
“You’re right, she is, just sit with her, carry on talking to her, I don’t know what you did, but it worked, do you want us to call anyone?”
“Yeah, Matt, James, Nill, and Emily”
“Ok”
“Number”
“07……….” Charlie rambled the number excitedly
“Ok”
He sat down next to her, seeing colour in her cheeks for the first time in 3 months, he rested his hand on her cheek, and he could feel warmth. He smiled kissing her again, this time her eyes opened fully. She looked at him for a few seconds, then smiled
“You know what you’ve put me through for the last three months?”
“Three months? What month is it?”
“Its December 24th”
“I thought it was September” Zoe whispered, confused
“Zoe, you had a accident, you were hit by a bus, you’ve been in a coma for the last 3 months, we all thought you were going to die, you know who I am, don’t you?” she looked at him
“Of course I do, you’re Charlie Simpson, my best friend of 15 years, and how could I forget those eyebrows?“ she laughed
“There’s something I need to tell you, before the others get here”
“What?” Zoe asked, so many questions…
“I love you” Charlie smiled, looking down on Zoe as she looked slightly confused
“I love you too” she wasn’t going to say that, something about it ruining their friendship, is what she was going to say, but that fell out of her mouth before she cold say the other.
“Will you go out with me?” Charlie mumbled, his fingers playing with his hair at the base of his head
“Yes” she hadn’t planned on saying that either “come here” she lent up to him, kissing him full on
“I’ve been waiting for that for ages” the doctor came in
“Glad to see you’re awake, finally”
“Am I ok?” Zoe asked
“Yeah, you’re fine, he’s been here nearly everyday for the last 3 months, we’ve been trying to get rid of him” Zoe laughed, holding Charlie's hand “we’ll move you down to another ward in a couple of hours”
“Ok”
“And I’ll leave you 2 alone for a while” he didn’t even get chance to get out of the door before Zoe’s tongue was down Charlie’s throat, they didn’t notice Matt and the others come in
“Get a room” they stopped, giggling
“So you’ve finally decided to wake up then?”
“Well, I didn’t want to miss Christmas did I?”
“You’ll still be in here”
“I know, but at least I’ll see it, hopefully I’ll be home for New Year”
“Hopefully”
“You want us to go get some of your clothes?” asked Nill
“Yeah”
“I think a trip to some shop is more needed, you’ve lost loads of weight”
“You have, you’re tiny”
“It won’t last, as soon as I get home, I’ll soon put it back on again”
“Good, I’ll be scared that everytime I touch you that I’ll break you otherwise”
“Aww, you wouldn’t break me, you’re gentle, and I know that”
“Er, they all know, I had to let you have some of my blood, they asked the have
you slept with anyone in the last month, do you know their medical and sexual history question, and I couldn’t exactly lie, if I had, you might not be here”
“It’s ok, I don’t mind, cause they’re going to have to get used to the fact that we’re together”
Five days later, it was December 29th, and Zoe was allowed home, in total she’d spent 3 ½ months in hospital, as she and Charlie returned to the flat, James, Nill, Matt and Emily had arranged a party. Everybody from the record company was there, along with some of Zoe and Charlie’s friends from school. Zoe didn’t feel like having a party, she and Charlie just went upstairs and were laid on the bed. Emily came up
“Zoe, you ok, can I come in?”
“Yeah” Zoe was laid with her head in Charlie’s lap
“Hey, why don’t you come down, this is a party for you, you know”
“I don’t feel like having a party, not tonight, I’ve been in hospital for the last 3 and ½ months, I just want a rest, then I’ll be ok for the big one” referring to new years eve
“Ok hun” she went back downstairs, leaving Zoe and Charlie alone
“You know I heard everything you said when I was in a coma”
“Did you?” he asked sounding slightly nervous
“The song, it’s good, obviously I’d have to listen to the rest of it”
“It’s crap, I made it up on the spot”
“None of your songs are crap”
“Yes they are”
“They’re not, remember in May, in Plymouth, you put so much emotion into without you that I cried”
“I remember, I wondered what was wrong, you wouldn’t tell me what was, I’m so stupid”
“You’re not stupid, cause if you were stupid, I’d be stupid for going out with you, and I’m certainly not stupid”
“That could be disagreeable with sometimes, usually after large amounts of alcohol, but who isn’t then” she looked up at him, before he asked, “are you ready?”
“Yes” she looked up at him again, kissing him; she pulled him down on top of her, looking into his eyes,
“Come here” he pulled her up into her bed “I wanna do this properly”
“Ok” she kissed him again
“I’ll be right back” he went into his room, and she heard his top drawer open, and then close again. She pretended to be asleep when he came back in “typical” he turned around, she opened her eyes, and ran her finger down his back “ohh, so you’re in a playful mood eh?”
“I might be” he got into her bed again, pulling her in close, his breathing deep as she undid his trousers, kicking them off, he undid Zoe’s, and pushing them down her legs. He slowly pushed her shirt over her head, his hands moving carefully around her back, he threw it too the floor, she took his shirt off, they stopped for a while, just kissing
“Are you ok?”
“Yes”
“Are you sure you want me to do this?”
“Yes” he slowly undid her bra, kissing his way down her body, sliding his thumbs down the sides of her g-string. He pulled them down, before moving back up to her face, he kissed her again
“I love you”
“I love you too” she pushed his boxers down, feeling his erection hard against her thigh. He slowly rolled on the condom
“You ready?” she nodded, wrapping her arms around him as he pushed into her
“you ok?”
“Yeah, I’m fine” he looked down at her, kissing her again, she pulled him down onto her, clinging onto him, his strong arms wrapped around her waist as they moved on their sides. He started to slowly thrust into her, she felt his breathing get deeper on her neck, and she saw the concentration in his eyes
“I’m gonna ooooaaaahhhhh” she slowly felt the same feeling build up inside of her, he kept himself inside her
“Ooooaaaahhhhh” she looked over at him, the beads of sweat gently falling down the side of his chiselled face, she looked into his eyes again, before kissing him “I love you”
“I love you” he pulled out of her, moving to her side, she pulled her arms around him
“I suppose we’d best go down, just for a few minutes”
“We should, but that would be doing the right thing, and we’ll only get 21 questions from Emily”
“Mmm, ok, I suppose we could just stay here”
“That sounds like better idea”
“I suppose we should lock the door, keep everybody out, I know that Emily just walks into peoples rooms with out knocking” Zoe looked at him “she er, walked in on me a couple of weeks ago”
“You and who?”
“No-one, I had to go solo, I wasn’t just going to go out and find some random person to sleep with and think of you the whole time, I couldn’t do that”
“Ok” she walked over to the door, slowly locking it, she walked back over to the bed, before getting back in, she put her arms around Charlie, he did the same too her, she fell asleep on his chest.
Zoe woke first in the morning, she got out of bed, pulling on her clothes from last night, she slowly walked downstairs, James and Nill were asleep on the sofa, Emily and Matt where no where to be found. She walked into the kitchen, putting the kettle on, and getting some black bags out from underneath the sink, she walked around, picking up random ashtrays and emptying them, and picking up empty bottles and cans. She heard a door open and someone come down the stairs, she looked out of the door, it was Charlie, and he stood behind her
“Can’t you come back up to bed?”
“No, I’d best clear up”
“You didn’t make any of the mess, that’s not on”
“It’s easier if I do it, those 4 will only argue over it, and then I’ll get fed up and do it anyway”
“At least let me help then”
“Bag” she said handing one to him “I haven’t done the dining room yet”
“Ok” he walked into it, “Zoe”
“Yeah?”
“This is going to take more than one of us, shall we just leave this room to those 4?”
“Why?”
“Someone’s been sick”
“Leave it to them” he walked back into the kitchen, Zoe turned around, putting her arms around him, he did the same to her, before kissing her, they heard footsteps coming down the stairs
“Get a room” joked matt
“Ok” Charlie picked Zoe up, carrying her up the stairs and into his room, kicking the door closed, he put her down on the bed, before walking back over to the door, and locking it. They laid down on the bed together, Zoe looking at Charlie, her eyes telling him what she wanted to do. He pushed her shirt over her head, as she did the same to him, their clothes soon a mere pile on the floor, as their bodies writhed together.
Their happiness wasn’t to be for long, fans soon found about the relationship, they weren’t happy, they wanted ‘their’ Charlie back. Zoe lived in fear of going out in case she was spat at again, it was the same for Emily and Matt, they found out early in the year, the more mature fans accepted it, but most of them didn’t. She was treated the same way as Zoe, spat at in the street, if she went out with Matt, she was sworn at, and someone even tried to beat her up. The pressure of Zoe and Charlie’s relationship was getting to her, she hadn’t been out for 3 weeks, just staying in the house, and he had two day’s off, and was determined to get her out.
She gave in to him, he took her into London, and they went into a small club, where they sat down in the corner. There was a few fans in there who had asked for his autograph, he gave it too them, and then they left him alone, she wouldn’t have minded if they were all like this. After an hour, she had relaxed, she was getting tipsy, but couldn’t care less, she started to get flirty, and soon had her tongue down his throat.
“So you’re feeling better now then?”
“Yes, I’m glad you got me out of the house”
“So, you don’t want to go home yet then?”
“No, do you want to?”
“Well, no, but I was hoping for something off of you”
“What’s that?” he suddenly dropped down onto one knee
“Zoe Wheeler, will you marry me?” she smiled, getting down with him
“Of course I will”
“Looks like we’re going shopping then tomorrow”
“Yes, I suppose it does, you know that I’m only saying yes because I love you for being Charlie Simpson my best friend, and not Charlie Simpson from busted”
“I hoped that you would say that”
“I take it you read my letter which was missing from my purse”
“Yes, I saw it, I still have it, its right here” he pulled out his wallet, and took the bit of paper out, and gave it too her “do you want to go for an Indian?”
“Yeah, that bitch over there is giving me evil’s”
“She’s just jealous, come on, let’s go” they walked over to the door, and walked out, Charlie’s hand around Zoe’s back, her head rested into his chest “so, back to ours?”
“I thought?”
“You’ll find out in a minute” a black limo pulled up, and Charlie pulled Zoe into it, her head rested on his shoulder as they pulled up to the flat. Charlie lead Zoe out, and up the path, he opened the door, letting her in, he dimmed the lights, revealing the living room and kitchen covered in candles, and the table set for 2
“What’s this for?”
“Its 16 years since we met”
“At playgroup, I was in the sand pit with Emily, you came and asked me my name”
“And told you that your eyes were pretty, and that I liked your dress”
“I said thank you, then asked if you wanted to come and play with us”
“I said yes, and then we’ve been friends ever since” he kissed her, before walking over to the CD player, and putting a CD on which he had spent the 3 months which she was in hospital making. The first song was their song – Robbie Williams, she’s the one – they slowly danced to it, Zoe feeling safe in his arms feeling the warmth of his chest. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door
“I’ll get it” Zoe walked over to the door, and opened it, there was a girl of about 16 stood at the door “yes?” before she knew it, she was on the floor, Charlie knelt over her, looking worried
“Are you ok?”
“What happened?”
“I don’t know, you answered the door, and then you were on the floor, she must have hit you or something”
“Is it because of us?”
“Probably, but nothing that they do is going to change the way I feel about you, you’re the one I love, they cant change that, I wont let them”
“Charlie, I don’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe”
“Maybe what?”
“Maybe it would be better if wecooledthingsdown” she didn’t want to hear herself say it, she couldn’t take it in herself “oh fuck them, I love you, I don’t care what they think, they’re entitled to there own opinion, and they can have it for all I care”
“Thank god you said that, I love you too much too lose you, especially after what we’ve been through” she looked up at him.
“I love you”
“Come here” he picked her up, carrying her into the kitchen “babes, you’re bleeding”
“Where?”
“Your legs”
“Ohh”
“Zoe, you’ve done it again, haven’t you?” she looked up at him, looking guilty
“I didn’t mean too, I’ve tried so hard, everything got too much for me. I was in the bath last night before you got back, and I truthfully knocked one of the scab’s off from last time by accident, and it took my mind off of everything. Just like the frustration was running out of me, then I pulled a couple more of them off it made me feel better”
“You cant keep doing this, it’s bad for you, you could end up, end up, end up dead” she looked up at him
“I’ll stop, I swear, I love you too much to leave you, I’ll do anything for you”
“Come here” she walked over too him, feeling the blood run down her legs “I love you”
“I love you too, can I go up, and get changed”
“Yeah, do you want me too come with you?”
“I’ll be ok” she kissed him, knowing that it would be the last time that she ever did, she walked up the stairs, going into the bathroom, and sitting against the door. She heard the front door open
“Hi James”
“Hi Chase”
“You alright?”
“Yeah, well, no, me and Nill, we’ve split up, we had an argument, oh, I’m not interrupting anything am I?”
“Well, yeah, but, I’m sure Zoe won’t mind”
“What was that sound, I heard something fall, it sounds like the bathroom”
“I’ll be right back” Charlie ran up the stairs, knocking on the door “Zoe, are you ok in there, Zoe?” she didn’t answer, he knew something was wrong. He pushed the door open, seeing a trail of blood leading to the shower and Zoe sat in the corner of it, clutching her knees into her chest
“Charlie, I’m sorry”
“what have you done?” he ran over to her, hugging her
“I can’t go on, you’ve got to let me go”
“I wont, I can’t, I love you” he looked down at her “James? Come up here” he heard James run up the stairs
“Mate, what’s wrong?” he came in the door, seeing Zoe “I’ll go call a ambulance” he ran back down the stairs again and frantically calling the ambulance. He ran back up the stairs “they’ll be here” he heard the sirens and a knock on the door
“now” he ran down, and backs up again, the same paramedics as 6 months earlier
“She’s stabbed herself”
“Oe negative?”
“Yeah”
“You might need to give more blood”
“Sure”
“Let’s get her in”
“I don’t want to live anymore”
“Don’t listen too her, she got hit earlier, by a fan”
“Let me die, please, it’s what I want”
“If you die, I’m going to pull that knife out of your stomach and kill myself”
“Charlie, no, I’m not worth it”
“Just get her too hospital” the paramedics fought her into the ambulance, when they arrived, they took her straight into theatre. Charlie sat on the seats outside, rocking back and forth, waiting for her to come out, after 3 hours, a doctor came out
“I’m sorry, we did all we could, she lost too much blood”
“No, she cant die, it’s not fair, why her, it’s not fair”
“Would you like to see her?”
“Yes” tears coming down his face, the doctor lead him in to the operating theatre, before pulling the white sheet covering her down “Zoe, why did you do this too me, I love you. More than anything else in the world” her white face looking up at him, expressionless, cold and bare “I love you, forever and always, until we meet in heaven, goodbye” he walked out of the theatre. Before turning around and kissing her for the last time on her lips “I love you, my feeling will never change, I will never be able to love again, not in the way that I love you”
Two weeks later, it was a rainy day in the middle of March; he stood at the side of her coffin before it was
“I’ll be with you soon, until then, here’s your ring” he slid it on to her finger, kissing her again “I love you” he watched as the coffin was closed, she was dressed in her best clothes. As Charlie returned, dressed completely in black, he sat down on the sofa
The next day, a Wednesday, the day of Zoe’s funeral, there was a phone call
“Hello”
“O, hi Emily, its Zoe’s mum, is she there?”
“Mrs Wheeler, I’m sorry, we tried our best to contact you, I’m afraid that, that, that, Zoe died two weeks to ago, its her funeral today”
“What happened?”
“She committed suicide”
“No, why?”
“Well, she and Charlie were going out, and Charlie is famous, and a few of the fans weren’t happy about them, and it all got too much for her, the doctors did everything they could”
“Is Charlie there?”
“Yes, do you want to talk to him”
“Yeah”
“Charlie, its Zoe’s mum”
“Mrs Wheeler, he’s really distraught, he doesn’t want to talk to anyone, can I get
him to call you later, maybe tomorrow?”
“Yes, tell him thank you for being there for her”
“I will”
At the funeral, Charlie was tearful, seeing her white coffin again
“And know Zoe’s boyfriend will sing a song, along with his band mates” he stood up, James on piano, and Matt on bass
“The way always made me look at you with all the simple things you said the way so many things surrounded you... I can’t breathe without you, I can’t breath without you, and I can’t breathe without you without you without you without you without you. And now I'm falling I’ve got nothing left to say and I cant break free not with in me there cause I cant breathe without you, I cant breathe with out you, I cant breathe with out you, with out you, without you, without you”. After he had sung the song, there wasn’t a dry eye in the church, tears flowing freely down his face, he didn’t care who saw. As the coffin was carried outside, he followed slowly behind it, carrying a single white rose, the priest said a few words, and after everyone had left, it was just Charlie left
“I’ve got you you’re favourite, I’ll see you soon” he rested the rose on her coffin, watching it being lowered into the deep grave.
As he walked from the church, and across the road, he got in his car, and pulling out a bottle of vodka from the glove box, he drank it in one, before driving off. As he drove into London, he could feel his vision getting blurred, he carried on driving, reaching west bank, he stopped the car, walking to the side. “So here I meet my death, the one thing that will bring me and my love back together, good bye life” he got back in the car, starting the engine again, and accelerating into the Thames. As he hit the water, he sobered a thought ‘what the hell am I doing?’ He was too late, he had drunk too much. He couldn’t release himself from the seatbelt, let alone open the door.
The following day, after they had realised how long he had been gone for, Emily phoned the police, they soon arrived
“So, Charlie Simpson, aged 18?”
“Yes”
“You want us too put a search out for a 18 year old who has been missing for less than 24 hours, you’re having a laugh”
“He’d just lost his girlfriend, it was her funeral yesterday, he was suicidal, he had said a few things, yesterday, when we got back, I realised that there was a bottle of vodka, a full bottle, missing. He must have taken it”
“Car registration?”
“I don’t know, it was a blue Porsche boxster, his pride possession, after Zoe”
“Ok, we’ll launch a search”
“I don’t know if it help, but he mentioned west bank a few times”
“By the Thames?” she nodded “I know what he’s done”
“It’s ok, we’ll find him” Emily, Matt, James, and Nill were sat on the 2 sofa’s in the living room, awaiting the worse, as the phone rang, Emily jumped, picking it up
“Yes?”
“We’ve found him”
“Is he alive?”
“I’m afraid not, divers found the car ¼ of an hour ago, we’re pulling it out in ¼ of an hour”
“Wait a minute” she looked around the room, the sombernerity of her face told them
“Do you need us to identify him?”
“Yes”
“Ok, were?”
“Um, you can come here, or at the hospital”
“We’ll go there” she put the phone down, “they need us too identify him, are we all going to go, or just me”
“I’ll come”
“I’ll come, I want to say bye to him”
“Me too” they slowly walked to Matt’s car, getting in they drove in silence to where the policewoman had told Emily to come. As the got out of the car, Emily saw the top of the car coming out from the water, she pushed her head into Matt’s chest, he rested his head on top of her’s. There was soon an invasion of photographers
“Can’t they just” Matt moaned, staring across at the photographers
“Matt leave it, if you react, it’ll only make things worse”
“It’s definitely his car” James said seeing the registration plates. The policewoman beckoned them over, they slowly walked over, the car was hanging, people watching from everywhere, as the crane was driven inwards, Emily just said
“It’s him” everyone else nodded “he’s happy, he wanted to be with Zoe, he got what he wanted, but, but know I’ve lost both of my best friends in a month” she ran off, Matt following closely behind her, he caught up with her in a small dark, greasy café
“You’ve still got me” she hugged into his chest again “Charlie was important to all of us, all in different way’s, we have each other, just like Zoe and Charlie do” this brought a slight smile to her face
“At least they won’t have camera’s in their face’s all of the time”
A week later, Charlie was buried, his funeral just as sombre as Zoe’s, without the singing. He was buried next to her, Emily hoped that as he found his place in heaven, he would find her, standing by each other until the other’s joined them.
“we’ll miss you, the way you missed Zoe, you’ve each other now, look after her, and Zoe, look after him” she rested a white rose on Zoe’s grave, as she did on his coffin “I love you both” Matt was stood behind her, she fell into his arms, the only thing that her lift was worth living for was still there.