When Demons Come a Calling
By Kimmi

See chapter 1 for disclaimers and warnings.


Part 14


The small room exploded with sound half a second before Sara’s body was violently thrust forward taking Catherine with her.  The blonde barely realized what was happening before she hit the hard concrete and the breath was crushed from her lungs by the brunette’s weight.  Her body’s panicked screams for air were all she could concentrate on until the shocked organs finally loosened enough to draw in the life sustaining element.  

After a few deep breaths Catherine’s surroundings and circumstances came rushing back to her.  She could feel something warm and wet dripping down her arm and for a second thought she had been injured until she realized she didn’t feel enough pain to be hurt enough to bleed.  That’s when she knew exactly what Sara had done for her.  The abused woman had put herself between Cath and a madman and had taken the bullet meant for her.  It was hard to wrap her mind around the sacrifice the brunette had willingly made without hesitation.  

She felt Sara’s grip on her tighten as the younger woman rolled, covering even more of Catherine’s body with her own.  Thomas was raging over them, yelling obscenities and the younger woman was still trying to protect her.  

“Look what you made me do you stupid bitch!  Look at you, you’re a worthless piece of shit!  You should have killed me when you had the chance.  You’re still going to watch her die, only now it won’t be the quick way.”  Michael was in incredible pain, the kind he hadn’t felt since he was a child.  He hadn’t bothered to pull the knife out, the pain was good.  It served to remind him who he was.  Taking several deep breaths he willed the agony in his shoulder to a tolerable level.

He felt a new calm stealing over him; a new purpose was before him.  All the tortures he had heaped upon Sara had failed but now he knew where he went wrong.  He had underestimated her sense of morality and her feelings for the blonde.  He had thought she was the perfect choice for his dark angel’s first kill, now he knew better.  Once he had dealt with Willows he would start over with Sara.  This time he would be sure to go slowly, break her a little at a time until he had completely eradicated any part of her that was weak so that he could rebuild her from the ground up.

Kneeling next to the two women he got as close as he dared.  Michael wanted to make sure they heard him clearly.  “I want you to remember I was willing to kill her fast and relatively painlessly.  It’s your fault Sara that she will now know suffering the likes of which even you and I can’t imagine.  The agony you’ve felt the last three days will pale in comparison to what I am going to do to her, all while you watch, helplessly, powerless to stop me.”

Sara’s eyes burned with the need to cry, but she didn’t have any tears left.  Her heart clenched in her chest at the thought of the horrors Catherine was going to go through all because of her.  Thomas was right, she should have killed him when she had the chance.  Sure it would have damned her forever, but at least it would have saved the blonde.

Catherine couldn’t believe what was happening.  They had been so close.  She was torn between anger that Sara hadn’t ended it when she could have and pride that the lanky brunette hadn’t allowed Thomas to turn her into something she loathed.  With what she now knew about Sidle’s brutal childhood, Willows knew that killing the bastard would absolutely destroy her.  On the other hand not killing him would bring the both of them more pain and most likely death.  

Sara buried her face in Catherine’s blonde hair and through the maelstrom of her emotions she became aware that the brunette was speaking.  Her heart broke inside her chest as she realized that the woman was hoarsely repeating ‘I’m sorry Cat’ over and over again.  She couldn’t hold onto her anger at the strangled apology.  All she could do now was pray she had the strength to endure whatever the man might throw at her and hope that a rescue would come soon.

***
 Jim Brass looked hopefully at the non-descript metal building that he prayed held his friends.  Glancing to his right he could just see the front bumper of Sara’s car peaking out by the side of the abandoned factory.  When this was all over he was going to buy the highway patrol officer that had spotted it a round or six of drinks.  If the man had been distracted or a little less observant they would have still been clueless.  Of course there was no guaranty that they were even in there, the guy could have dumped the car there and be holding the women somewhere else.

He hoped to god that she, that they, were in there.  Of course he was scared for Catherine’s safety and wanted her back just as much as Sara but it seemed to him that the younger woman had a way of falling through the cracks.  Willows had a way of rallying others to her, garnering support from all directions.  Sidle on the other hand kept to herself, fading into the background until something happened to remind you she was there.  

Well he was going to make sure that from now on she knew how cherished she was.  He had failed his own daughter over and over until Ellie wouldn’t even talk to him.  Hopefully it wasn’t too late for him to fix his mistakes with Sara.  He had let his pseudo-daughter down by letting that monster take her and if she could find it in her heart to forgive him then he would do his best to make sure nothing bad ever came close to touching her again.  

Nick was itching to get inside.  He had started edging closer to the door as the cops gathered around it.  He didn’t care what Brass said, there was no way he was going to sit around outside and just wait.  He looked back and saw that the others were right there with him.  It seemed as if they all made the decision at the same time.  They moved as one the second the Swat Team pried the heavy steel door open and surged through.  

Warrick was neck and neck with Stokes as they rushed through the door.  They each turned sideways so that neither would have to defer to the other.  It was almost over, he could feel it.  Catherine and Sara were somewhere in this building and they were alive.  He knew it in his heart.  He also knew that while this part of their ordeal was almost over the two woman would be dealing with whatever they had been subjected to these last three days for a long time to come.    

Greg was scared.  He was scared of going in but he was even more scared of staying outside.  He needed to see his friends, see that they were alive and well, but he was so afraid that they weren’t.  His supervisor’s features were set in a mask of grim determination.  The older man’s hands were gripping his gun so hard Greg thought that any second the skin over his white knuckles would split.  The look on Grissom’s face helped firm his resolve as he pulled his brand new service weapon from its holster and followed him in.  

Grissom had been a little surprised that Ecklie hadn’t objected to them being there but decided not to give it much thought.  He had other things to worry about, such as getting to the man that had taken the two most important people in his life.  Half of him wished that he found Michael Thomas first so that he could exact his revenge, the other half hoped that he didn’t.  There was no doubt in his mind that if he got to that monster before one of the officers that he would be brought up on charges although whether it would be murder or assault he wasn’t yet sure.  All he was truly sure of was that he had never before wanted to hurt someone so much in his entire life.  

The main floor of the factory was littered with decaying equipment and rusting conveyer belts.  Brass moved past it all without really looking at it.  He knew Thomas would be keeping the girls in old offices or storerooms, not out here in the open.  Halfway across the cavernous room the unmistakable sound of a gunshot reached his ears and brought Jim to a stumbling halt.  One quick glance around showed him that everyone had come to stunned stop as well.  

The firing of a weapon could mean one of two things, either Catherine or Sara was dead or dying, or their kidnapper was.  All pretense of stealth was forgotten as every man in the building took off in the direction the shot seemed to come from.  As they entered the maze of service halls the sheer number of doors was intimidating.  They had a daunting task ahead of them and they might already be out of time.  

***

Despair hung like an executioner’s noose around her neck.  The coppery smell of Sara’s blood was heavy in her nostrils and it coated Catherine’s upper body like a slimy second skin.  She couldn’t help but think that Thomas wasn’t going to get the chance to make the younger woman witness anything because she was going to bleed out.  

Sara’s litany of ‘I’m sorry’ was still resounding in her ears but it was becoming fainter.  If she was going to do something to save them it had to be now.  She could hear Thomas muttering to himself and pacing the room like a caged animal but she couldn’t see him from her position under the younger woman.  As slowly as she could Catherine began to slide her body out of the brunette’s protective grasp.  

Pulling her head up Cath could see that his attention wasn’t on them.  He had tucked the gun into the waistband of his pants and was fingering the knife in his shoulder.  It seemed like he was debating with himself about whether or not he should pull it out.  She was almost completely out from under Sara when the injured woman tightened her hold on her and she looked into deep brown eyes glazed over with pain.  

Catherine tried to smile, tried to reassure and communicate with Sara what she was about to do and why.  At first she didn’t think the brunette even saw her until her hand released its death-grip.  It returned a second later to cup her cheek.  Their eyes locked and what Cath saw in those fathomless mahogany depths she didn’t think she would ever be able to define.  The next second she was being forced back down onto the floor and all hell broke loose.  

Sara had felt herself slipping away and she knew her body was going into shock.  She would have welcomed oblivion if it hadn’t been for Catherine.  She had failed her so many times.  First it was with Eddie’s case.  Then losing her temper with her in the corridor of the lab instead of in private where they usually had their blowups.  She hadn’t done enough to keep her safe from Michael Thomas and let her be kidnapped.  Lastly she hadn’t killed him and secured the blonde’s safety.  Even one of those instances was too many, but not again.

She was going to die that was perfectly clear to her but she was going to escort her demon to hell on her way out.  She wondered if an act of redemption would cancel out a murder if they were committed at the same time. Gathering the last shreds of her strength Sara pushed Catherine back to the floor and leapt to her feet.  

The pain of her body meant nothing now, it was not connected to her, it was its own entity driving her forward.  Sara slammed into Thomas just as he turned toward her.  Her momentum drove him backward and the cry of pain he let out as her body forced the knife deeper into his shoulder gave her a sickening sense of satisfaction.  

Catherine was momentarily too stunned to move.  She had thought Sara was too hurt to even sit up but there she was tackling a man that out weighed her by seventy-five pounds if not more.  Where ever the brunette had dredged up this last surge of strength was quickly failing as they grappled with each other.  Sidle had obviously meant for her to make her escape while she fought with Thomas but Willows just couldn’t do it.  She couldn’t let younger woman sacrifice herself, not after all she had endured.

As the two brunettes wrestled for the gun Catherine got to her feet and ran behind Thomas.  Throwing her arms around his neck she leapt to his back.  He spun around trying to dislodge her but the blonde just tightened her grip on his throat and squeezed for all she was worth.  

Sara stumbled backward as a flailing limb struck her head.  She shook off a wave of dizziness only to have her knees gave out at the scene in front of her.  Catherine was supposed to run damn it!  She was supposed to save herself not to try to help.

The brunette could only watch in horror as Thomas halted his wild spin and threw himself backward, slamming the petite blonde into the wall.  Sara moaned in despair as Catherine’s limbs went slack and she slid bonelessly to the concrete floor.  The tall man pulled himself together quickly and Sidle found herself staring down the barrel of the gun she had failed to get away from him.  

Michael had had enough.  His dreams were crumbling around him and everything was flying apart at the seams.  Sara had betrayed him for the last time.  His father had been right, you couldn’t trust a woman.  They would rip your heart out and chew it up.  They lied, they cheated, they where whores that were good for nothing but giving a man a son to carry on his legacy.  She had fooled him into thinking that she was different but now he could see through her pretty deceptions, he could see that she was just another bitch that thought she was better than him.  

The cold fury on his face was all Sara needed to see to know that this time it wouldn’t be a hole in her shoulder, it would be her head.  She closed her eyes, whispered a final apology to Catherine and waited for death.  

The first shot made her entire body jerk convulsively.  The second forced her eyes open in confusion.  Thunder erupted in the small enclosed space and Thomas’ body staggered back with each blast until he hit the wall, deadly red flowers blooming across his chest.  Streaks of crimson marked his passage on the dull gray cinder blocks as he fell, slumping in a heap on the floor.  

Deep brown eyes, so much like her own, seized her.  Sara couldn’t look away from the accusation and disappointment she saw.  The fading light in his chocolate orbs was drawing her down into the darkness with them and she didn’t try to fight it.  What did she have left anyway?  Once everyone found out what she had done she wouldn’t have any friends, wouldn’t have a job, hell she’d be lucky to have her freedom.  You couldn’t sexually assault someone, especially a female co-worker and expect there to be no consequences.

Brass lowered his weapon.  He had been alone in the corridor, the others having scattered to try to cover as much ground as they could as quickly as possible, when he had heard a muffled thud from a few yards down the hall.  He had raced to the open doorway in time to see Michael Thomas aiming a gun at Sara.  

Instinct merged with burning rage and Jim emptied all fifteen rounds from his clip.  He didn’t even have to think about it, he wanted this psycho dead so that he could never hurt Sara again and he made that happen.  He didn’t care about the consequences to himself, he only wanted her safe.  

Brass rushed to the downed man and kicked his gun away before checking for a pulse.  Satisfied that the man’s twisted little black heart was no longer beating he turned his attention to the blonde beside him.  Catherine was slumped over but seemed to be coming around.  He could see blood covering her body but after a quick inspection could find no wounds so he moved on to Sara.  

The brunette was still on her knees but looked as if she was going to fall over any second.  He was by her side just as she began to collapse.  Taking her gently in his arms he eased her down, cradling her head in his lap.  In all his years on the force he had never seen someone as bruised and battered as he thin body was, he was amazed that she was even conscious. “Hey there kiddo it’s ok now, I gotcha.”

Sara looked up at the man holding her.  She was finding it hard to focus her eyes and the room was a lot dimmer than had been a few minutes ago but she knew who it was.  He had always been so quietly supportive of her.  There was so much she wanted to say to him but she didn’t have the energy.  She hoped he knew.  As her eyes slipped closed she could hear him yelling for someone to get the medics.  She wanted to tell him it was alright, that the pain was gone now but the darkness had already swallowed her.

A bee hive of activity greeted Catherine as she fought her way back to consciousness.  People were streaming into the room, yelling, with guns drawn.  It took her a moment to figure out what was going on as her gaze swept the room.  The second it landed on Sara and Brass everything else faded into background noise and crawled over to them.  The brunette’s blood was seeping through his fingers where he was trying to apply pressure to the wound.

“Sara, open your eyes sweetie.  Come on you can’t sleep now, we’ve got places to go and people to see.”  Catherine’s voice was imploring as she took the younger woman’s hand in her own, the fact that it was already cold scared her.  They needed to get her to a hospital immediately or they were going to lose her.   She didn’t know if she could handle that after everything they had been through.

The next couple of minutes were a blur of activity as the paramedics rushed in and went to work.  Catherine had reluctantly let go of Sara’s hand to let them get to her but she didn’t go far.  She lightly grasped one of the brunette’s bare feet, just to have some sort of contact with her.  She was vaguely aware that someone was shining a light in her eyes, asking her how many fingers did she see, but she ignored them as she watched them carefully lift the younger woman onto a stretcher.  Her own minor injuries weren’t a concern at the moment, what was a bump in the head compared to what Sara had suffered?

As they exited the room that had almost become their abattoir she could see their friends waiting just outside.  Under different circumstances she would have stopped to hug each and every one of them but at that moment all she could think about was Sara.  The lanky brunette had been willing to die just to give Cath a few precious seconds to get away.  It was the most astounding thing anyone had ever done for her and she wasn’t leaving her side.  

Grissom felt faint at his first sight of Sara and Catherine.  They were both covered in blood but the younger woman was black and blue from the neck down.  Her face, although unmarked, was deathly pale. The contrast between it and the dark bruises covering the rest of her body was sickening.  All the scenarios his mind had come up with, no matter how hard he tried to suppress them, hadn’t prepared him for this.  The gasps he heard from the others told him that they were feeling the same.  

He was torn.  Gil wanted to follow the girls but he also wanted to go in that room and tear Michael Thomas’ body limb from limb.  They had all heard the cops relaying the fact that the suspect was dead but it didn’t bank the fire of his anger.  He had been denied the chance to make the man pay what he had done but at least he wouldn’t ever be able to hurt anyone ever again.  

The others didn’t have the same dilemma as Grissom.  Thomas was dead and therefore of little concern to them.  Sara and Catherine were still alive and they needed their love and support right now.  The guys hurried after the stretcher leaving the entomologist alone in the hallway.  

Watching the others run out Gil shook his head.  He wanted to go with them but there was something he had to do first.  Making his way to the door he stepped just inside it, close enough to get a good look at the man that had nearly taken away everything good in his life but far enough away so as to not contaminate the scene.  He was a little disappointed that the man’s outward appearance didn’t match the monster that lurked under the surface.  How much easier life would be if what we were on the inside was reflected in our outward appearance, if rapists, murders and child molesters all looked like their diseased souls.  

Shaking himself out of his thoughts Grissom took one last look at Thomas before turning on his heel and rushing after the others.  He made it outside just in time to watch Catherine being helped into the back of the ambulance and taking a seat near Sara’s head.  As the doors closed he could see her reach out to tenderly brush dark locks off the younger woman’s pale forehead.  The tiny stab of jealousy he felt at the gesture surprised him.  Yes he wished he was in there with Sara, that he was the one touching her so delicately but Cath had just been through an incredible ordeal with her and she herself was in need of medical attention, he really had no reason to be jealous.  He pushed the unwelcome emotion away and went to catch a ride to the hospital with the others.  He mollified himself with the thought that once the brunette was on the road to recovery then he would have his chance to make things right between them.  


Part 15


Catherine was determined to keep in physical contact with Sara even though the paramedics kept trying to get her to sit back.  She wanted the younger woman to know that she wasn’t alone.  She could only watch as they started IV’s, took blood pressure and heart-rate readings.  She was no doctor but she could tell by the way they were talking that the brunette was in bad shape.  

“Stay with me Sara.  You’re so strong, stronger than anyone I know, you’ve got to keep fighting.”  Cath kept stroking dark silky hair as she leaned over to whisper more encouragement in Sara’s ear.  “We’re almost there, just a couple more minutes, and you’re going to be at the hospital where the doctors are going to take care of you.  So just hold on a little while longer ok, for me, please?”

Willows continued her quite pleas and soft touches until the ambulance pulled into the ER and Sara was whisked away.  She tried to follow but was held back by the medic that had tried to examine her before.  

“Ma’am they won’t let you go in there with her.  Don’t worry she’s in good hands.”  Jeff had been touched by the tender words and gentle way she had touched the brunette as the blonde tried to keep her from slipping away.  He might be a newbie on the rig but it was obvious to him that the woman on the stretcher was so close to death that you could practically see the grim reaper hovering over her and it might very well be the words of the other woman that had kept her with them until they could get her to the hospital.  He was sure that the other paramedics would laugh at him if they knew but he believed that sometimes the human spirit triumphed where all their medicine and skill failed.  

Catherine wanted to believe him but she was afraid that Sara’s last ditch effort to save her had been too much for the young woman’s traumatized body.  The urge to just push past the man and run after the stretcher was so strong that before she could even catalog it she was around him and walking unsteadily down the hall.  She would dare them to keep her out of that room and away from Sara’s side.  

Her path was almost immediately blocked by a short blonde woman in a white lab coat that looked much too young to be a doctor.  Catherine tried to sidestep her but a wave of dizziness forced her to a halt until it passed.  By the time she regained her equilibrium the doctor and paramedic had been joined by a rather large orderly and had formed a human wall in front of her.  

“Ma’am I’m Dr. Sims, I know you’re worried about your friend but you can’t go back there.  You need to come with me so I can have a look at your head.”  Carla Sims kept her voice soft so as to keep the woman calm.  She could see the rising panic in her icy blue eyes and she was afraid if the blonde tried to fight them she would only end up hurting herself.  

“Sara’s not just my friend!  She’s…she’s…more than that.”  Catherine was at a loss for words.  How exactly do you categorize a woman you’ve worked beside, fought with for five years and that may very well die because she was protecting you?  Friend just didn’t seem to be adequate.

“I understand, but regardless of your relationship I can’t let you go in there.  You would just be in the way and would hamper her treatment.”  Sims was sympathetic but distraught family members tended to hinder more than they helped in situations such as these.  “Why don’t you let me examine you and by the time I’m done we should have some news, ok?”

With one last long look down the hall Catherine reluctantly agreed.  After being poked, prodded, x-rayed, stitched, bandaged and a long argument about staying overnight for observation the petite doctor let her go.  Borrowing a set of scrubs, Cath changed out of her blood stained clothes and bagged them while Sims went to fulfill her promise to get an update on Sara.   

When the doctor hadn’t returned after about five minutes, Cath started to get a little panicky.  In her mind the only reason it could be taking so long was because the news was bad and she was trying to find a way to break it to her gently.  Bolting out from behind the curtain that had shielded her during the exam, heart hammering its way out of her chest, the blonde saw the woman almost immediately.  The petite blonde was standing halfway down the corridor along with another doctor and both were being harassed by her co-workers.  

She started toward them intent on getting answers when a twelve year old tornado hit her full force knocking her back a few steps before she could regain her balance.  Catherine pulled her daughter to her in a crushing hug, stoking the girl’s golden hair as Lindsey’s tears soaked through the scrubs she was wearing.  Her world shrank until nothing existed but the two of them, her only concern was for her child.

“I was so scared Mom, I thought you left me just like dad.”  Lindsey finally managed to verbalize the fear that had been strangling her since Warrick had come to their house to tell them that her mother was missing.  

Catherine swiped at her face, trying to dry the tears that had begun falling as soon as she had her daughter in her arms.  She sank to her knees so that she could look the girl in the eye.  “Oh god baby I’m so sorry. You know that I would never leave you without a fight, right?”

Lindsey nodded and reached out to touch the bandage around her mother’s head.  “Are you okay?”

Catherine’s heart nearly broke at how tiny Linds’ voice sounded.  The girl had come damn close to being an orphan, to close.  She just hoped this didn’t bring back the nightmares that had plagued her daughter after Eddie’s death or the resulting behavior problems.  “I’m fine baby, it’s just a bump on the head and a few stitches.”

Standing up Catherine looked around at the others that had gathered silently around them.  Her mother, sister and her co-workers had formed a protective circle blocking their tearful reunion from any curious eyes.  This was her family whether related by blood or not.  This time the blonde didn’t hesitate and threw her arms around each one in turn.  Once she had greeted them all and assured them she was all right Cath turned her attention to the two doctors.  “How is Sara?”

“Ms Willows this is Dr. Klein, he worked on your, ah, partner here in the ER.”  Carla didn’t want to offend the woman again by calling her a friend.  

“Ms Sidle’s file doesn’t list a next of kin and the only emergency contact is the Las Vegas Crime lab.  Have you informed her family?”  Reginald Klein asked without looking up from the clipboard he was holding.  He had deflected the questions of her co-workers because his colleague had told him that his patient’s girlfriend was there.  However she wasn’t listed in the file as a contact or as having power of attorney.  

“She doesn’t have any.  We’re as close as you’re going to get.  Please just tell me how she is.”  Catherine had ignored the raised eyebrows at the doctor’s description of her relationship with Sara.  She didn’t care that she had accidentally led these people to believe that there was more between her and brunette than there was as long as it got her information on the younger woman’s condition.  

The doctor looked carefully at the assembled group and shook his head.  It wasn’t hospital policy but from the looks on their faces they weren’t going to take no for an answer.  Well families came in all shapes and sizes these days.  “We gave her three units of blood and were able to get her stabilized enough to take her up to surgery.  I won’t sugarcoat it, Ms Sidle is far from out of the woods yet.  Apart from the blood loss she is dehydrated and has deep tissue bruising to over eighty-five percent of her body along with more than a dozen cuts and puncture wounds.  She has three cracked ribs, a broken collar bone, two broken fingers and her shoulder shows signs of having been recently dislocated.”

Catherine had known that Sara had been badly beaten but she was surprised that she didn’t have more broken bones.  The others had barely gotten a glance at the brunette before they were rushed to the hospital and the looks on their faces told her that they had no idea that she had suffered so much.  

“Doctor was she…”  Grissom couldn’t ask.  He looked to Catherine hoping she would understand what he was trying say.

“Did you do a vaginal exam?”  Catherine couldn’t bring herself to actually say the words either, although it was her biggest fear.  

“We did and there was no sign of any sexual activity in quite some time.  If you would like to go up to the surgical waiting room it is on the third floor.  I will leave word for Dr. Kingsley to keep you informed.”  Reginald told them.  He nodded once to Dr. Sims before going to see to his next patient.  

Catherine thanked god that Sara had been spared another violation.  What she had gone through was going to be hard enough for her to deal without adding another rape on top of it.  Looking around she saw that the others were also breathing a sigh of relief.  Not wanting to wait any longer she took Lindsey’s hand and started for the elevator, the others right behind her.

The ride up was silent as no one wanted to be the first to ask one of the questions bouncing around in their heads.  The second the doors opened Catherine led Lindsey to the nurse’s station to let them know who they were there for and that they would be in the waiting room.  She sighed as she turned toward the small glass-walled room knowing that she wouldn’t be able to avoid the questions much longer.  It was probably better to get it over with quickly.  

Taking the chair closest to the door Catherine was surprised when Lindsey crawled into her lap and snuggled against her.  She couldn’t remember the last time the girl had initiated this kind of contact with her.  While their relationship had gotten better lately it was still strained and she was going to soak this up for as long as it lasted.  

“Cath what happened?”  It was Grissom that spoke first his voice low.  He had wanted to wait until she was ready to talk but it didn’t seem as if that would be any time soon and he needed to know what had gone on in that factory.  

Catherine shook her head.  She knew he was asking about Sara but she didn’t have the answers he wanted.  “I don’t know.  I didn’t see her until a few minutes before you found us.  There were screams and, and then silence and then more screams.  He tortured her and there was nothing I could do.”  She was crying now and felt someone wrap a strong arm around her shoulders but she shook it off even as she pulled her daughter closer to her.  She didn’t want comforting she wanted to see Sara, she wanted to go home and spend time with her daughter, she wanted all this to have never have happened.  “She saved my life.  That bullet was meant for me.”  

“What about you Cath?”  Warrick asked from beside her.  He had been a little hurt that she had rejected him but if she had been through anything like what Sara had suffered he could understand why she wouldn’t want to be touched.

“No he left me alone most of the time.  Sara was the one he wanted I was just a means to an ends.  He was completely insane.  How did you guys find us?”  She knew they would be confused but she couldn’t tell them everything, not yet, maybe not ever.

“Highway Patrol spotted Sara’s car.”  Nick answered her.  He was still upset that it had been nothing more than dumb luck, that all their evidence and work had been useless.  Of course without that bit of luck they would be planning two funerals right now.  

A shiver traveled down Cath’s spine.  She and Sara had come closer to death than she had previously thought.  She was lost in thoughts of what had nearly happened when someone clearing their throat drew her attention.

“Hey Catherine what was all that downstairs about you being Sara’s partner?”  It had been stuck in Greg’s mind ever since the doctor had stumbled over the word.  

Catherine groaned to herself as a slight blush crept its way up her neck to color her cheeks.  She had known they would pick up on that, they were trained investigators after all, she had just hoped they would let go for a while.  “I may have accidentally given her that impression but at least it got us an update on Sara without too much of a fight.”

“Accidentally?  How do you accidentally make someone think that you and Sara are…?”  Greg wisely chose not to finish when Catherine narrowed her eyes at him.  He would figure out a way to get the story out of her later.

“Ok well what about her family?  I mean doesn’t she have a brother?  And where are her parents?”  Nick was curious as to how Catherine had gotten her information.  Sara was notoriously closed-mouthed when it came to her private life and she had never once talked about her family with him and he was one of her closest friends in Vegas.  

Catherine chewed her bottom lip as she considered how to answer him.  Nick didn’t know so that meant Sara didn’t want him to.  “Her parents are dead.”  It was half a lie, but she couldn’t tell them the truth, it wasn’t her place.  “I don’t know where her brother is, I don’t think she does either.”  

She had only heard Sara mention her brother once in passing.  It had been one of their rare conversations about something other than work and all she had said was that her brother had left home when she was eight.  Even though the brunette hadn’t said it, she got the impression Sara hadn’t seen him since then.

Catherine looked over at Grissom and saw him close his eyes as if he were in pain.  After Sara’s suspension he had had the same look when she had cornered him right after he had defied Ecklie and refused to fire her.  She knew now without a doubt that the younger woman must have told him something.  She just wondered how much he knew.  

The room grew quite as they all contemplated this new piece of the Sara puzzle.  Catherine divided her attention between stroking the hair of her now sleeping daughter and staring out the window toward the nurse’s station as time seemed to crawl by.  So she was the first one to notice the approaching man.  

As Brass entered the room he found himself the focus of seven pairs of eyes but he was only looking for one.  He stopped in front of Catherine and took the hand she held out to him.  “You okay?”  

“Just a mild concussion.”  Catherine could see the worry in his eyes and gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.  

“How’s Sara?”  That was the burning question in Jim’s mind.  He hadn’t been able to get the image of her bloody broken body out of his head.  The look of resignation in her dark eyes as they closed would haunt him until he could see her alive and sending him one of her death glares for daring to be worried about her.

“She’s still in surgery.  The doctors in the ER said they stabilized her before bringing her up here but we haven’t heard a word since then.”  Catherine didn’t want to think about how long it had been since they had been waiting.  She knew these things took time but it didn’t stop the fear.  Doctors had operated on Holly Gribbs for nearly sixteen hours and they hadn’t been able to save her.  

“Sara’s strong she’s gonna pull through.  I bet you the first thing she says when she wakes up is ‘When can I go back to work?’.”  Hearing chuckles from around the room Brass turned and gave the others a smile.  “I would have been here sooner but the sheriff wanted to have a conversation about the shooting.”

Seeing the question in Catherine’s eyes, Jim remembered that she had been unconscious when he had killed Thomas.  “He wanted to convene the shooting review board today but I told him I wouldn’t answer any questions until I knew Sara was okay.  So it’s been scheduled for tomorrow.  I get the feeling that someone wants to sweep this under the carpet as quickly as possible.”

“Excuse me is Ms Willows here?”

Cath looked up at the interruption to see a doctor in green scrubs looking around the room.  “I’m Catherine Willows.  Is Sara okay?”

Tim waited for a portly man to move out of the way so he could face the blonde.  “I’m Dr. Kingsley, and Ms Sidle is a very lucky woman.  The bullet hit in the best place possible and while she’ll have to undergo some therapy for the damage to the muscle she should regain full use of the arm.  We’ll be taking her to ICU for a day or two before moving her to a private room because there could be complications with her other injuries.  I’m worried about secondary infections as well as blood clots from the extensive bruising.  The next twenty-four hours will be crucial but if she gets through them then I expect her to make a full recovery. ”  

Catherine closed her eyes as tears of relief escaped to trail hotly down her cheeks.  “When can I see her?”

“They’re taking her to recovery now.  I can give you a couple of minutes but the others will have to wait until tomorrow.  ICU visiting hours are from six a.m. till eight a.m. and three p.m. until five p.m.”  Tim stepped back as the blonde motioned for someone to take the sleeping child from her so that she could follow him.  

Grissom wanted to protest but kept silent.  He doubted that anything he said would convince the doctor to allow to him see Sara as well.  They were still under the impression that the two women were in a relationship and if he said anything Catherine might not get to see the brunette.  If that happened he knew his body would probably never be found.  

Catherine had known that Sara would be hooked up to machines and tubes but it didn’t stop the cold shock of actually seeing it.  Her heart clenched at how small the brunette looked laying there, it just wasn’t natural to think of the tall lanky woman as tiny but that was how she seemed.  The younger woman’s face was still slightly pale but it wasn’t the spectral shade of white it had been and some of the color had already come back to her cheeks.   The blonde took the slender hand that wasn’t splinted from where it rested on the sleeping woman’s stomach and noted with satisfaction that this time it was warm.

“Sara I know you probably can’t hear me but I just wanted you to know I was here.  They won’t let me stay long but I’ll be back first thing in the morning.  You’re not going to have to go through this alone, I’m going to be with you every step of the way, I promise.”  Catherine was determined that Sara was not going to carry this burden alone the way she obviously had everything else.  

The nurse was back and Cath knew her time was up.  She was reluctant to go but she had a daughter that had probably not slept since Thomas had taken her and she needed to get Lindsey home and in her own bed.  She leaned over and lightly brushed her lips against Sara’s pale forehead.  “They’re kicking me out but I’ll be here tomorrow sweetie so you just get some rest.”   

As she turned to leave Catherine wondered at the how easily the term of endearment rolled off her tongue.  This wasn’t the first time she had used it either.  Something had changed but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it and she didn’t really feel like examining it too closely at the moment.  She decided to chalk it up to the ordeal they had shared and leave it at that.  

When she returned to the waiting room Cath found them all looking up at her expectantly.  “She looks better even with the IV’s and wires hanging all over the place.  She’s going to be okay.  Look guys I’m going to take Linds home.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”  

“We’ll walk you out.”  Nick said coming up beside her with Warrick behind him carrying the slumbering girl.   

Greg followed a little slower, allowing Catherine’s mother and sister to precede him. He turned when he realized Grissom wasn’t with them.  “Hey Griss you coming?”

Gil shook his head. “No I’m going to stay for a little while longer. I’ll see you later.”  

Catherine went back to her friend and knelt beside him.  “There’s nothing you can do tonight.  Go home and get some rest. You all look like you haven’t slept in days.”

“We haven’t, we couldn’t, not until we got you both back.”  Grissom couldn’t look her in the eye with his guilt weighing so heavily on him.  

“Well we’re here, safe and on the way to being sound so you can rest.  Go home Gil or you’re going to fall over.  She’s asleep and not aware of whether we’re here or not.”  Catherine patted his knee knowing that he wouldn’t listen but at least she had tried.  She was too tired herself to really argue with him and she completely understood why he didn’t want to go.  If she didn’t have Lindsey to worry about she would be right there beside him all night.   “Try to get a little rest okay.”

Grissom nodded and left in the opposite direction of everyone else.  He wanted to find the ICU waiting room and get settled in.  He was going to make sure he was the first person to see Sara in the morning.  He had something very important to tell her.  


Part 16



Nurse Cooper looked once more at the assembled group and then back at the clock.  They had all been standing in front of her for the last fifteen minuets waiting to see her newest patient.  They had tried to talk her into letting them in early but she had told them that visiting hours started six o’clock and not a second before.  Now it was six on the dot.  “All right you can go in one at a time for ten minutes.  No exceptions.  Miss Sidle is in room 12.  The rest of you stop hovering around my desk and go take a seat in the waiting room.”  

Grissom didn’t bother to ask who was going first he simply started in the direction the nurse had pointed.  The journey was short, no more than fifty steps, but it felt like fifty miles.  He stopped at the open door and just looked at the brunette for a moment in shock.  Most of her body was covered by a light blue hospital blanket, hiding the biggest extent of her injuries.  What he could see looked even worse under the bright sterile lights than the brief glimpse he’d had the day before.  The bruises on her neck and arms were even darker, if that was possible, and her cheeks were sunken and sallow.  

The thought that life was fragile and fleeting got his feet moving again, he had already wasted five years, he didn’t want to waste another minute. He moved quickly to the side of her bed, grasped her hand, and waited for her acknowledge his presence.  When she failed to move or even blink he leaned over her and found his voice though it sounded more like a strangled cry than a greeting.  “Sara.”

She had of course noticed him the second he had come to the door but she wasn’t ready to face him, to tell him what had happened.  Sara knew she would have to but everything was still too fresh, the guilt to heavy, the cuts to her soul too deep.  So she ignored him even when it seemed he was going to sob over her.  

“Sara I am so sorry.  I’ve been such a fool, such a damn fool.  I know I’m not a people person.  I don’t deal well with the human element.  I’ve let my fear rule me, let it stop me from admitting my feelings.  When I found out that you were gone I realized that I could lose you forever and that scared me more than you will ever know.  I know I hurt you but I’m asking you to please forgive me, to give me another chance.  I promise you this time I won’t turn away, I won’t ignore your feelings or my own.  I love you.”  Grissom stared at her face waiting for something, anything, to show.  He had just laid his heart at her feet and he couldn’t tell if she was going to pick it up and hold it close or step on it and crush it.  

She almost wanted to cry and she might have if she wasn’t so angry.  So he knew he had hurt her, huh?  She really didn’t think he had a clue.  All the little smiles, the discrete touches, standing just a bit closer than was necessary, all the little comments that had given her hope only to have him snatch it away again.  Of course she had to lay a bit of the blame on herself.  She had after all allowed him to do it time and time again, always going back for more.  

It was an effort but she kept her eyes on the ceiling and her face impassive.  If she let go of the tight reign she had on her emotions now she might not get them back under control.  Sara didn’t want to give him anything, not even her anger.


‘Since when do you care about beauty?’ ‘Since I met you.’
‘Honey this doesn’t look good.’
‘Do you want a copy?’ ‘I don’t need one.  I have you.’
‘I haven’t seen you in awhile, have I?’ ‘You see me every day.’
‘Do you want to have dinner with me?’  ‘Noooo.’ ‘Why not, let’s go to dinner. See where this goes.’ ‘I don’t know what to do about…this.’
‘Someone young and beautiful comes along, someone you could love but you have to risk everything to have her.  I couldn’t do it, but you did.’

Why the hell did he pick now to pull his head out of his ass and figure out what to do about this?  Why now when she was more fucked up than she had ever been in her life did he decide she was worth the risk?  She could almost feel sorry for him if she didn’t hate him so much right now.

If he had said these things to her a year ago it would have been different.  Now she knew what her hero worship, her schoolgirl crush, really was.  He was an older man that had shown an interest in her, in her mind and abilities.  He had treated her kindly, asked her opinion of things and listened to her.  Even though she didn’t realize it at the time she was still desperately trying to prove to her parents that she was worthy of being treated like a human being, worthy of being loved.  No matter how much they had hurt her or how much they had despised her, she like any child had desperately craved their love and attention.  She had sought in him what she had never had in her parents and had convinced herself she was in love with him.  With the help of her PEAP councilor, she knew better now.  He had kept them both from making a terrible mistake.  

Grissom made his way back to toward the waiting room when his time was up feeling all of his fifty years and then some.  He didn’t stop to speak or even look at the others he just kept walking, needing to get away from that tiny room and the pain he had felt in it.  

Catherine watched her former supervisor come out and walk past them in a daze.  He looked absolutely crushed.  She told the others to go ahead and went after Grissom.  While she was desperate to talk to the brunette she had been the only one allowed to see her the night before and they needed to see Sara, touch her, to reassure themselves that she was alive and going to make it.  

She found the entomologist in the hall, using the drinking fountain to splash water on his face.  Putting her hand on his shoulder Cath turned him around to face her.  “Are you okay?”

Grissom had long ago grown use to hiding his feelings, burying them deep where they couldn’t interfere with his life.  Now the dam had broken and he wasn’t sure if he could repair it “She’s so broken Catherine and I don’t know what to do.  She didn’t even seem to realize I was there.  She just stared at the ceiling.”

Catherine rubbed the big man’s arm trying to give him a little comfort.  “Gil you have to give her time.  She’s been through hell and back, you can’t just expect her to bounce back from that overnight.”  

“I’ve been such a monumental idiot all these years and I nearly lost her Cath.  Why did it take this for me to see it?  Why did I wait so long to tell her?”  Grissom backed away from his friend needing to see her eyes.  He needed her to tell him he wasn’t too late, that there was still hope.

Catherine was struck speechless for a moment.  Did he mean that the way she thought?  “Oh god Gil what did you do?”  

“I told her I was sorry I had hurt her.  I told her I loved her.”  He was confused.  When Sara had wanted to take that leave of absence wasn’t Catherine the one that had told him to do something, to make a move?  All he had been able to give her then was a plant, when he had wanted to give her so much more.

Cath was enraged.  How the hell could he be that stupid?  She pushed him backward even though she wanted to slap him for his insensitivity.  “You really have no clue do you?  Damn it Grissom that was the last thing she needed to hear.  You have played with her for years, stringing her along and then pushing her away.  The man that raped her just tortured her for days and you want to tell her now that you love her?  What did you expect that she would just fall into your arms?  Just because Thomas didn’t rape her this time doesn’t mean she wasn’t violated.  How can you be that damn self-centered?  Go home.  Just go home and leave her alone for a while.”  

Grissom stared at Catherine’s retreating back stunned.  He hadn’t expected that reaction.  Was what he had done truly so awful?  He needed to think.  Walking out of the hospital without a word to anyone Gil went to the one place he and Sara had in common, work.  

Catherine stormed back into the waiting room.  She took a seat away from the others not wanting to be around anyone just yet.  She needed to calm down before she saw Sara.  The last thing the younger woman needed was to see her boiling mad.  She knew that it would probably frighten the brunette and she didn’t want her anymore distressed than she already had been by that emotional midget.  She was going to have to have a long talk with Grissom once she could look at him without wanted to smack him.  

The waiting was endless as each one of her co-workers went in, stayed their ten minutes and came out all with the same story.  Sara didn’t move, didn’t speak, didn’t even seem to know they were there.  Catherine was getting more and more agitated as her turn approached.  Greg was the last one and his time was almost up.  The second the former DNA tech reentered the waiting room the blonde was on her feet.  She didn’t wait to hear what he had to say, she was sure she already knew.  

Sara was exhausted.  She never knew ignoring people could be so tiring.  Nick and Warrick’s visits had been almost identical.  They had both told her how much they loved her like a sister, how sorry they were that they hadn’t had much time to see her lately and how they would be there whenever she needed them.  She realized pretty quickly that they didn’t know what had happened otherwise they wouldn’t have been there saying those things to her.  Once they found out what she did they would turn their backs on her faster than a speeding bullet.

Greg had tried every trick in the book to get her to react.  He had told her inappropriate jokes, made goofy faces at her and basically acted the clown.  He had definitely made it tough for her.  The only thing that had kept her silent was the thought of how he would look at her when he found out what she had done.  He had become like the kid brother she had never had and she knew that when he eventually turned disappointed and disgusted eyes on her it would break her heart.  

When Catherine entered the room she found the brunette just as the others had said.  She knew that it was an act because she had seen what Sara truly looked like when she wasn’t really there.  The blonde shuddered at the memory and shoved it into the back of her mind, she didn’t want to think about that right now.  “Hey Sidle I know you’re not one for small talk but don’t you think you could have at least said hello to the guys?”

Willows waited for nearly a minute before she got fed up with the silent treatment.  She wasn’t just going to stand there and let Sara hide from her.  She leaned over the bed, not realizing she was mimicking Grissom’s actions, and looked directly into the younger woman’s chocolate orbs.  “Sara don’t you dare try to shut me out, not after everything we’ve been through.  I know you can hear me so talk to me damn it!”

Sara couldn’t imagine why the older woman hadn’t shown up with a uniform to place her under arrest.  How could she stand to be anywhere near her much less act like she cared about her?  Her resolve was breaking in the wake of Catherine’s impassioned plea and she had to close her eyes to stop herself from answering.  

Catherine wanted to cry as the first tears began spilling from the corners of Sara’s eyes.  She hadn’t meant to upset the brunette.  She just wanted to be let in.  She reached up and began to stroke the dark hair fanned across the pillow trying to sooth the younger woman.  “Its okay sweetheart, please don’t cry.  Shh I’m sorry I raised my voice.”

Sara couldn’t take it.  She didn’t deserve compassion, not from this woman, not after what she had done to the blonde and what she had suffered because of her.   It didn’t stop her wanting it though and in the end her need overcame her good judgment and she wrapped her arms around Catherine, not caring how much it hurt to move.  Pulling the older woman down, she buried her face in soft blonde hair.  

Catherine gladly sank into the embrace and let her tears mingle with Sara’s.  The injured woman might not be talking but at least she was interacting.  The blonde would take what she could get at this point.  She just had to remember her own advice and not push the brunette, to give her time.

Cath pulled away long minutes later when she felt Sara’s arms go slack and then fall away.  For a moment she thought the brunette was just pulling away from her until she noticed that the lanky woman was sleep.  She sighed and pulled a chair close to the bed and started running her fingers through the younger woman’s hair just to stay in physical contact.  Sara looked so much younger than her thirty-four years when her face was relaxed in sleep and it brought out Catherine’s protective nature.  

How could she have taken so long to see what an incredible person Sara was?  Why did it take something like this for her to realize that she had totally dismissed the brunette without really getting to know her?  The younger woman had been willing to give her life for someone that had made her life difficult from the first moment they had met.  True they often managed to get along, sometimes for weeks at a time, but something always seemed to set them at odds again.  They were both strong willed, passionate women and they were going to have differences of opinion but somehow it always seemed to end up getting personal.  She’d had no idea that she had been adding to the pain Sara had been put through most of her life.  Catherine vowed that if she had to bite the end of her tongue off she would never throw another callous remark Sara’s way.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a nurse shooing her out so that the brunette’s bandages could be changed.  Catherine leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to Sara’s forehead before making her way back out to the waiting room.  The others had already left to get a few more hours rest or take care of personal business before their shifts so she was alone for the time being.  

“Hey Catherine, how’s she doing?”  Brass gave himself a metal slap as the blonde jumped at the sound of his voice.  After what she had been through sneaking up on her wasn’t a good idea.   

Cath had been staring out the window and hadn’t seen or heard the homicide captain’s approach.  She looked up into his soulful eyes and gave him a sad grin.  “Physically I think she’s making progress.  Emotionally she’s not doing well.  Jim she wouldn’t say a word or even look at the guys.  I managed to get her to make eye contact with me but she wouldn’t speak.  I’m worried about her.”

“Sara’s strong and she has all of us to help her through this.  We just have to convince her to let us.”  Jim was gratified to see so much concern from Willows for the brunette.  Catherine had never been one of Sara’s biggest supporters.  She was nearly as stubborn as her younger co-worker though so if she set her mind on helping Sidle, she would do it.  

“I know she’s strong Jim, she’s so much stronger than any of us ever knew, but she’s been through so much, so much.  How many blows can one soul take before it shatters?”  Catherine couldn’t help but think that this could be the thing that broke Sara.  She didn’t know if they would be able to put her back together if that happened.  

“You know something I don’t.  Spill it Catherine.”  It was obvious to the seasoned detective that the blonde wasn’t just talking about the rape Sara had survived.  While the other CSI’s didn’t know about that he, Grissom and Catherine did.  There was something else.  

“I’m sorry I can’t.  It’s for Sara to tell when and if she’s ready.  How did the shooting review go?”  Catherine wanted to get his mind away from the subject at hand before he had a chance to ask more questions.  The knowledge she now held was weighing heavily on her heart and as much as she wanted to lighten the load a little she couldn’t betray Sara that way.

Brass knew a diversionary tactic when he heard one but he decided to let it go, for the moment.  “About the way I expected it to.  Seems the higher ups want this to go away as quickly as possible.  Two dead cops and two kidnapped CSI’s makes the lab and the sheriff’s office look bad.  They’re trying to keep it quite with the media as well.”

“I got a call last night from Ecklie insisting that I come in today to give my statement.  When I asked what the rush was since Thomas was dead, all he would say was they needed to close out the case.  Then he had the nerve to ask me when I thought Sara would be able to give her’s.”  Catherine was still fuming at the pompous toady’s insensitivity.  

“And you told him to go to hell.”  Jim surmised by the angry and disgusted look on the blondes face.

“In a manner of speaking, yes.  I think the exact words I used were ‘If you even try to talk to her before she’s released from the hospital I will rip your lips off.’  I don’t know if he’ll listen because all he said was that I was on mandatory two weeks leave and would have to see the department shrink before I could come back to work.”  The way Ecklie had acted like she hadn’t said a word had made Cath see red.  She had been about to tear into him when Lindsey had walked into the room and she had closed her mouth with an audible snap, her daughter didn’t need to hear her use those kinds of words.  If the man wouldn’t listen then she would just sit guard outside Sara’s room to make sure he stayed away from her.  

Jim chuckled to himself at the mental image the blonde’s words conjured up.  He could just imagine Ecklie’s clenched jaw as he bit back a retort to that threat.  The man might be an egotistical jackass but it seemed even he wasn’t stupid enough to cross Catherine Willows when she got her Irish up.  He was going to tease her a bit but the arrival of a nurse telling Cath she could go back in to see Sara halted the words before he could open his mouth.  

“You go ahead Jim, you haven’t seen her yet.  I’ll go back in when you’re done.  She’s in room 12.”  Catherine offered the captain.  She knew he had been extremely worried about the brunette, it was etched on his face.  

“Yeah I think I’ll do that.  You take care of yourself and don’t let Ecklie get to you too much.”  Jim gave Catherine’s shoulder a careful pat before making his way to the young CSI’s room.

At first glance he thought the battered figure on the bed was asleep until he stopped by her side and her deep brown eyes slowly blinked open opened.  The second they settled on him though the brunette quickly closed them, eyebrows knotting tightly together.  He couldn’t tell though if she was in pain or was unhappy to see him.  “Hey there kiddo I hear you not in a real talkative mood but that’s okay.  You and me we’re a lot alike you know, the strong silent type.  But I got to tell ya I can’t really keep quite about this.”

Sara knew when she saw Brass standing over her that it was all over.  He was going to read her her rights and cuff her to the hospital bed until she could be transferred to a secure ward.  His words only confirmed that fear.  Of course she had expected it but she had hoped for a little more time.  At least she was in Nevada and wouldn’t have to worry about being in the same prison as her mother.

“You gave me one hell of scare young lady and it got me thinking.  This thing we have has worked for us up until now but after the last three days I can’t go back to the way it was.  You have a father and I have a daughter that can’t even stand to be in the same city as me.  I don’t know what kind of relationship you have with your dad but I can’t remember you ever talking about him.  So I guess what I’m trying to say is, I love ya kid, like you was my own.  So if the position is open I’d like to put in an application and if not well that’s fine too I can just be the favorite uncle or something.  That is if you can forgive me for not doing enough to protect you.”  Brass watched as Sara’s eyes snapped back open to stare at him in disbelief.  It was pretty clear that she wasn’t expecting that little speech.  He just hoped he hadn’t been misreading her all this time and that the deep affection he felt for her was returned.

Sara couldn’t believe her ears.  Jim wanted to be her dad?  He loved her like his own daughter?  Even her own father had never really wanted her.  Her parents had told her often enough that she had been an accident and was lucky to be alive.  By the time they had figured out her mother was pregnant she was too far along and the back alley butchers wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot long coat hanger.  They already had their son, what could they possibly want with a useless brat like her?

Never before had someone wanted her just for her.  Even if tomorrow he came to slap the cuffs on her and tell her what a monster she had allowed herself to become this was one memory she would treasure forever.  Whatever darkness engulfed her in the near and distant future she would look back at this single moment of light, someone had once loved her and hadn’t been afraid to tell her.  

Jim was mortified as first Sara’s bottom lip began to quiver and then tears formed at the corners of her deep coffee colored eyes.  “Hey come on now you know I can’t stand to see a woman cry, especially not you.

Sara reached for his hand, squeezing it as hard as she was able to in her weakened condition.  Jim had always shown her such quiet concern, always looking out for her without making it seem like that was what he was doing.  She’d had no idea his feelings for her ran so deep though. She wanted to tell him that she would be proud to call him Dad and that he had come to mean more to her that her real father ever had.  The sudden lump in her throat prevented her from saying anything though.  Perhaps it was better that way, it would hurt him less when the truth came out.  

They sat quietly for a while, it was enough just to be together.  Neither one noticed the nurse until she emptied a syringe into Sara’s IV.  “It’s time for you pain meds Ms. Sidle.  You better wrap up your visit because you’re going to be out like a light in a few minutes.”

Brass thought the young woman’s estimate was a bit optimistic.  Sara’s eyelids were already drooping and though she was fighting to stay awake she was losing the battle.  He sat with her until her eyes failed to open again.  He brought his new ‘daughter’s’ hand up and rested it over his heart for a few seconds before placing it gently back on her stomach and exiting the room, his heart a little lighter.  

Catherine resumed her vigil at Sara’s bedside after speaking with Jim for a moment after he returned from his visit.  He had seemed upbeat and even had a little smile playing on his face but all he would say was he thought everything was going to turn out all right.  She hoped so.  The brunette was long past due for some peace and happiness in her life.  

She knew that she didn’t have much longer before someone came to kick her out until the afternoon visiting hours.  She needed this time with Sara though to prepare herself for the ordeal she was about to face.  Just thinking about having to relive the horror they had been through made her heart race.  Catherine reached up and began stroking the brunette’s hair, using the contact to ground and sooth herself.  It was amazing how quickly the action brought her heart rate back to normal.  

When a nurse finally came to tell Cath her time was up, she placed a tender kiss on Sara’s forehead in what was quickly becoming a ritual for her.  With a quietly whispered promise to see the brunette later she left to go face the questions she wasn’t sure she was ready to answer.  


Part 17



By the time Catherine made it home she was emotionally as well as physically exhausted.  She hadn’t slept much the night before.  Every time she had closed her eyes the ghostly echoes of Sara’s screams would thrust her eyelids up again.  She had finally managed to drift off sometime after three but her slumber had been uneasy at best.  

By the time she made it down to PD what little energy she had regained from seeing the brunette had evaporated.  The interview itself hadn’t been that bad even though Ecklie had insisted on sitting in.  While he had mercifully kept his mouth shut just his presence in the room was enough to put her on edge.

Brass had been right when he when he said he thought the Sheriff wanted to make the situation go away as fast as possible.  Atwater had personally conducted the entire meeting, which basically consisted of her going through the events from beginning to end, once.  He had  only asked a couple of questions on a few small details and then told her he would have the transcript typed up and sent to her home by messenger for her to sign.  While he had tried to make it as easy for her as possible it was still painful for her to have to relive those terrifying days so soon.

All Catherine wanted now was to lie down for a couple of hours before she went back to the hospital.  Opening her front door the blonde was greeted by the sound of the tv and her mother sitting on the couch with an annoyed look on her face.  “Hi Mom, thanks for staying with Lindsey this morning.”  

“Catherine you know I don’t mind looking after her but you are her mother, you should have been here.  I know you’re concerned about your friend but you should have been spending that time with your daughter.  Did you even stop to think how she would feel when you left this morning?  We just got you back and already you’re off running around.”  Lily had watched her grandchild stand in the window as her mother drove away.  While the girl hadn’t said anything she could see the fear in her eyes that Catherine was leaving and might not come back this time.  Lindsey had learned much too young that bad things could happen to the people she loved.

“First of all Mom, I wasn’t off running around.  I was at the hospital to see Sara, the woman who has a rather large hole in her shoulder that was meant for my head.  She saved my life and I would think you would be a little more grateful to her.  She’s been through a hell of a lot and I’m not just going to abandon her.  Secondly I spoke to Lindsey this morning and told her where I was going and why; she didn’t seem to have a problem with it.”  This wasn’t the first argument Catherine had had with her mother about how she was raising her daughter.  It had been a point of contention between the two women since Lily had moved back to Vegas and even though the blonde wasn’t in the mood to get into the same old fight she wasn’t going to back down.  

“Believe me I am very thankful that she protected you but your daughter should still some first.  You didn’t see that child’s face after you left, she was…”

“I was fine Grandma.  I just wanted to go see Sara too.”  Lindsey had heard the argument from her room and decided to stop it before they actually started yelling at each other.

Catherine sent a glare towards her mother before going to her daughter and pulling her into a hug.  “I know you want to see her Linds but we talked about this.  They won’t let you in the ICU, you would’ve had to sit in the waiting room and then I had to go down to the station afterward to give a statement so you would have had sit around there too.  When they move her to a regular room I promise I’ll take you to see Sara.  Okay?”

Lindsey nodded and tightened her grip on her mom, not quite ready to let her go.  She had always liked Sara even though she only got to see the tall woman a couple of times a year.  The brunette had been really nice to her when her dad died and now that she had saved her mom’s life that made the CSI a hero in her eyes.  

“Have you eaten yet?”  Catherine asked as she leaned back to see Lindsey’s face, but didn’t break their embrace.  It was so nice to have her daughter not shy away from her touch, or run from the room when she entered.  

“I’m not really hungry, just tired.”  She hadn’t slept much after her mom was taken and when she did nightmares woke up her.  Maybe it was the fact that no one knew where she was because it had been worse than when her dad died.  The old nightmares about being trapped in the car came back but with a new twist, this time when her mom tried to get her out, the water snatched her away, pulling her downstream.  All Lindsey could do was watch as her mom disappeared under the swirling black water.  She had woken up so many times with tears running down her face and calling for her mother that she had finally given up on sleeping all together.  

“Do you want to come take a nap with me, like when you were little?”  Catherine asked as she ran her fingers through the golden silk of Lindsey’s hair.  She had always loved cuddling up with her daughter whenever she had the chance and managed to get the overactive child to slow down enough to sleep.  

Linds had to think about it for moment.  She was really too old to take naps, especially with her mother.  On the other hand she had always felt so safe and secure when her mom had wrapped her in her arms and held her close.  She wanted to feel that way again especially after the strangling fear she had felt at the thought she might never see her mom again.    “Yeah I do.”

“Ok, why don’t you go throw on some comfortable clothes and I’ll be there in a minute.”  Catherine waited until Lindsey was out of earshot before she turned her attention back to her mother.  “Look Mom, I’m not in the mood to fight with you right now.  You’ve made your opinion of how I’m raising my daughter perfectly clear on more than one occasion but you need to remember that she’s my child.  Lindsey is always my priority but right now Sara needs me too.  
You have no idea what that woman has been through, and I don’t just mean the last few days, I’m talking about her entire life.  I only know a few bare facts and I can’t believe that she managed to survive much less come out of it the incredible person she is.  So I’m going to the hospital this afternoon and if you don’t want to help me out then I’ll just take Lindsey with me.”

Marjorie knew it wasn’t easy to be a single parent but Catherine made it harder on herself and Lindsey by working long, odd hours.  There were some days that the girl only got to see her mother for thirty minutes the time she got home from school and her mom left for work.  Then there were the days she got called back in after maybe an hour in bed.  It wasn’t healthy, for either of them.  

The older woman looked carefully at the dark circles under her daughter’s eyes and the deep lines of worry etched into her face.  Catherine hadn’t really told them much about what had happened but she could see that it had affected her greatly.  She decided to leave the discussion for another time, when they were both not quite so tired.  “I’ll stay with Lindsey, there’s no need to go dragging her to hospital.”

Cath narrowed her eyes at the older woman.  Her mother didn’t usually give in without a fight or at the very least a parting shot at her.  She was dead on her feet though and didn’t want to look a gift horse in the mouth.  Nodding her head in acceptance the blonde left her mom standing in the living room and walked back to her bedroom.  

Lindsey was already on the bed curled up in the middle like a kitten.  Catherine smiled at the precious image and went to change as quickly as possible.  After setting the alarm to make sure she was up in plenty of time to get to the hospital before visiting hours started the blonde slid across the mattress to snuggle up behind her daughter.  Throwing one arm around the girl’s waist to hold her close Cath thanked whatever power that might be listening for this one perfect moment with her child.  

“Mom is Sara really going to be okay?”  Lindsey had been on the verge of sleep when she felt the bed dip with her mom’s weight.  It was a question that had been gnawing at her for a while.  She knew that someone had to be really sick or really hurt to be in intensive care and she was afraid her mother wasn’t telling her everything.  Maybe Sara was hurt a lot worse than they were letting on.

Catherine’s eyes flew open at the sudden question.  She had assumed the girl was asleep until she spoke.  “Yeah Linds, she’ll be fine but she’s going to need our help.  I want to ask Sara to come stay with us when she gets out of the hospital.  How you would feel about that?”  She had been thinking about it all morning and found she couldn’t stand the thought of the lanky brunette going home alone once she was released.  Sara was stubbornly independent but would need help and she wanted to be the one to give it to her.

“I think its good idea.  That way we won’t have to go all the way over to her place every day and you won’t worry when she’s alone.”  Lindsey answered after a moments thought.  

God her girl was smart, observant too, Catherine thought to herself as she tightened her grip on her daughter.  “Thank you.”

“I love you Mom.”  Lindsey said softly.  She really regretted the fact that the last couple of years she had rarely said it.  Her mom could have died not knowing that she didn’t really hate her.  When her dad had died it felt like he had abandoned her and her mom was too busy to spend time with her, it had made her so angry.  The constant teasing of the kids at school hadn’t helped either.  Sometimes the rage she felt was so hot it felt like it would burn her from the inside out if it wasn’t released.  Unfortunately her mother was the one she usually directed it at.  The longer it went on the worse it got until she didn’t know how to fix it. Linds knew this was her chance and she had to make the most of it.

“I love you too baby.”  Catherine answered just as gently as her heart swelled so quickly it felt like it was about to burst out of her chest.  She couldn’t remember the last time Lindsey had said that to her and it felt so good it brought a tear of joy to her eye.

***

Catherine hurried into the ICU ward, her daughter in tow, with barely five minutes to spare.  It had been harder to get out of the house than she had thought it would be.  Lindsey had wanted to come with her and while she had tried to convince her that she would be bored and wouldn’t get to see Sara, the girl had refused to be left behind.  In the end she hadn’t had the heart to say no.  “Linds I want you to promise me that you won’t leave this room for any reason.”

“Mom I’m not a baby.  I know not to take candy from strangers or help people find their lost puppies.  I’ll be fine.”  The exasperation in the girl’s voice was clear.  Lindsey was almost thirteen years old and she hated it when her mother treated her like she was still five.  

“I know you’re not but it doesn’t stop me from worrying about you, so just promise me please.”  Cath wanted to trust her daughter but after the hitchhiking incident last year it was hard, she just needed a little extra reassurance.

Lindsey resisted the urge to roll her eyes, barely.  “I promise I’ll sit right here and not move or talk to anyone.”

Catherine planted a kiss on top of the girl’s golden head and turned to go make her way to Sara’s room.  That’s when she spotted the last person she wanted to see.  She should have expected Grissom to show up but she had hoped that he would’ve taken her words that morning to heart.  

It was obvious as he walked past her towards the nurses’ station that he was ignoring her but Catherine wasn’t going to let him.  She hurried after the entomologist and caught up just as he stopped at the desk.  Grabbing his arm she forced him to face her.  “Gil what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m going to see Sara.”  Grissom nearly growled at her.  He had been thinking since he left that morning and he was determined not to give up no matter what the blonde said.  He had seen exactly what he had to lose and this time he wasn’t going to just sit back and let Sara slip through his fingers.  

“No you’re not.  You’re going stop being so damn selfish and give her time to recover before you start trying to put a move on her.”  Catherine’s voice was low and dangerous.  She was just as fiercely determined to protect the brunette as he was to make a complete ass out of himself.  

“Actually neither of you are going to see Miss Sidle.”  The nurse spoke up before a fistfight started.

“What?  You can’t keep me out of there.”  Catherine turned to the elderly woman behind the desk, her eyes throwing flaming daggers.

“Oh yes I can and I am.  Miss Sidle has asked not to have visitors.  So unless you would both like to be escorted out by security I suggest you leave quietly.”  Nurse Cooper was sympathetic towards them, she was.  It was hard having a loved one in pain and even harder when they wouldn’t allow their friends and family to help them, but she had to respect the patient’s wishes.  

“This is you’re fault.”  Catherine spat at the man beside her.  “If you hadn’t been such a self-centered bastard Sara wouldn’t be keeping us out.”  

Grissom wanted to yell at the blonde that it couldn’t possibly be because of him, that Sara was just being Sara.  She loved him, he knew that she did.  Even though she had never said the words he had seen it in her eyes, in her actions, time and time again.  After she asked him out to dinner things had become strained between them but lately they had been growing close again.  She had shared her painful past with him.  That had to mean something.  

Turning around in hopes of finding someone to make an appeal to Gil saw Nick and Warrick glaring at him, arms crossed over their chests.  Judging by their body language they must have heard the entire conversation and by the looks on their faces, even if he found a doctor that would agree to let him see Sara they would find a way to stop him.  There was only one option left open to him, retreat quietly and wait for his chance.  

Catherine watched Grissom stalk off, back ramrod straight, and knew that he wouldn’t give up.  When the man got an idea in his head he was like a pit bull with a bone, he wouldn’t let it go come hell or high water.  She felt a warm hand on her shoulder and turned to look into Warrick’s sympathetic eyes but it was Nick that spoke.  

“What the hell was he thinking?”  The Texan knew his former supervisor had feelings for Sara, a blind man could’ve seen that.  He just couldn’t believe that Grissom would do something like that after everything the brunette had been through.

“I think he just realized how much he had to lose.  I think we all did.”  Warrick didn’t agree with what the older man had done, but he understood it.  They had all been forced to do a lot of soul searching during those three desperate days.  

“What are you guys doing here?  Shouldn’t you be on your way to the lab?”  Catherine asked changing the subject.  It was hitting a little to close to home.  It had taken her five years, a kidnapping and a near death experience to show her what she had refused to see.

“Yeah, we just wanted to stop by to see her first and with the boss not there we figured we could be a few minutes late.  I guess we better go tell Greggo he can catch a few more hours of sleep and get out of here.”  Nick looked away from his friends towards the waiting room where the newest CSI was talking animatedly with Lindsey.  

“No just leave him where he is, I’m going to need his help.”  A plan was forming in Catherine’s mind and it would take two people to pull it off.  

“Cath what are you up to?”  Warrick asked, his brows knitted together in concern.  The blonde had a devious look on her face and a dangerous glint in her eyes.  He hoped she wasn’t plotting Grissom’s demise.    

“I’m going to see Sara.”  Catherine repeated Gil’s words.  She figured the worst thing that could happen was she would get kicked out of the hospital and since she had already been barred from the brunette’s room that wouldn’t be such a big deal.  It was worth the minimal risk if she could get to Sara and change her mind.  

“Do you want us to stick around in case you need bail money?”  Nick ribbed her gently with a grin on his face.  

“No you two get to work.  Just because I’m not there doesn’t mean you get to slack off.”  Catherine retorted with a smile.  She knew her guys would never fall down on the job.  

“Yeah picture that.  We’ll see you in the morning after shift.  Call us if you need anything.”  Warrick was happy to see the blonde joking and smiling.  After the all she had gone through and her concern for Sara weighing so heavily on her it was good to see that she could enjoy a little lame humor.  

“Wait a second, what do you mean after shift?  You guys get off long before morning.”  The comment struck the blonde as odd.  When they worked nights it was normal for them to leave around daybreak but these days they left a lot earlier.  

Warrick knew there was no love lost between the lab’s two blondes but Cath needed to know what the other woman had done for them.  “We’re going to cover for Sophia tonight so she can get some rest.  She’s been running herself ragged since you and Sara were taken.  On top of running interference with Ecklie and day shift to get us information she covered most of the cases coming in by herself so we could concentrate on finding you.  She really came through for us.”

Catherine was more than a little stunned.  She and Sophia weren’t exactly on friendly terms and she wouldn’t have thought Curtis had been on graveyard long enough to get close to Sara.  “I’ll have to thank her when I get back.  Now get out of here before I write you both up for tardiness.”

After accepting hugs from Warrick and Nick and giving her word to call them if she needed anything Catherine caught Greg’s attention and waved him over.  It took less than a minute to explain the problem and her solution to him.  He readily agreed to help and the plan was set in motion.  

Greg sauntered up to the desk and slipped around it as nonchalantly as he could, ignoring the woman sitting there as she called out for him to stop.  He was on a mission and failure was not an option.  He was halfway down the corridor when the nurse caught up to him.  The hand on his arm was surprisingly strong for an older lady.  Putting on his best innocent look Sanders turned to face the woman.  “Yes?”

“Sir you have to check in at the desk before you can visit a patient.”  Nurse Cooper said in an icy tone.  The rules were there for a reason and it ticked her off when people decided that they didn’t apply to them.  

“A patient?  No I’m just looking for the vending machines.  My friend’s daughter is a little hungry and I thought I would get her a candy bar or something to hold her over.”  Greg gave the woman the most charming smile he had in his repertoire as he chanced a glance up the corridor.  He breathed a tiny sigh of relief when her he saw Catherine slipping unnoticed into Sara’s room.  

“Young man this is the Intensive Care Unit not a convenience store.  There are candy machines one floor up next to the elevators although you’re going to ruin the girl’s appetite this close to dinner time.”  Cooper was tempted to grab the man’s ear instead of his arm as she led him back the way they had come.  She had a very low tolerance for ignorance.

Catherine waited until she saw the nurse run after Greg before moving away from the fake plant she had half hidden herself behind.  She walked confidently down the hall as if she belonged there hoping no one would question her.  The blonde made it into the brunette’s room without a problem but stopped short of the bed.  The younger woman was clearly awake but hadn’t noticed her yet as she was staring at the monitor that was displaying the steady rhythm of her heart.  It was clear to her that Sara had been crying, though her eyes were dry now they were red and swollen.  

Taking the last few steps forward Cath reached out and brushed a lock of stray hair away from the woman’s face, tucking it behind her ear before letting her hand rest on a pale cheek.  “Sara, why are you doing this?  Why do you want to shut us out, shut me out?”

“Because I have to.”  Sara answered hoarsely, closing her eyes even as she leaned into the contact.  She had tried so hard to do the right thing but one touch from Catherine and she was undone.  The brunette should have known the blonde would find a way to get in her room.  The woman would argue with a mountain that it was in her way until she convinced it move.  

Willows cringed at the harsh raspy sound of the brunette’s voice.  It was a reminder of how much Sara had been through, how she had screamed until she couldn’t scream anymore.  “No you don’t.  You don’t have to be strong now, you can let me be your strength for a little while.”

“How?”  Sara could barely choke out the word as her throat constricted painfully.  Catherine shouldn’t feel like she needed to put her own trauma aside and help her because Sidle had been shot trying to make up for what she had done.  

“Just lean on me, let me take the burden for a while.  You’re not alone anymore Sara, I’m here.”  Catherine was struck hard by the question.  The younger woman must never have had anyone she could turn to or depend on.  She’d only had herself to rely on for so long that now she didn’t know how to let someone help her.

Sara moved her head away from Catherine’s hand, needing a little distance.  The blonde had misunderstood her question.  “No.  How can you stand to look at me, be in the same room with me after what I did to you, after what he did to you because of me?  I sexually assaulted you, I’m a monster.”  

Cath was taken aback.  Did she really believe that?  Of course she did.  It was who Sara was.  Knowing all to well what Michael Thomas was the brunette would have of course assumed that she had been raped.  The blonde had feared the same thing about the younger woman.  It spoke deeply to the kind of person Sara was that she would feel responsible for actions she’d had no control over.  


Catherine reached out and grasped the broken woman’s chin and turned her head, forcing Sara to look at her.  “Now you listen to me Sara Sidle and you listen good.  Thomas didn’t rape me.  He gave me a mild concussion but that’s all.  As for you, you didn’t do a thing to me.  I looked into your eyes and you weren’t there.  That man was the monster, not you.  He had tortured you for days, done god knows what to you and your mind ran away and hid.  When I needed you though, you came back and saved my life, not once but twice, even though you had to be in indescribable pain.”

“You were afraid me.  I saw it on your face.”  A lot of what happened during those agonizing days was a little blurry but Sara remembered that clearly.  That look had sent a knife through her soul and shaken her to her core.  

Catherine wasn’t sure how she should respond to that.  Should she be completely honest and perhaps feed Sara’s self destructive beliefs, or lie?  The younger woman would mostly see trough any deception and it would simply reinforce her fears so there really wasn’t a choice to be made.  “I wasn’t afraid of you, not at first, not when you touched me, and let me tell you that I’ve had worse gropes standing in line at the grocery store.  It was when he put the knife in your hand that I got scared.  The look in you eyes was terrifying.  There was so much fear and pain and hatred there and I thought it was directed at me.”

Sara shook her head.  There was no denying that she had touched the other woman in an unwelcome and inappropriate way regardless of what the blonde said, nothing could excuse that behavior.  Her actions had caused Catherine pain, were still hurting her, so even though she didn’t want to talk about it she had to tell the older woman the truth.  “It wasn’t you.  The knife was just like the one my mother used to murder my father.  Seeing it in my hand brought back everything from that night.  The way my mother smiled as she sank it into his chest.  The way the blood looked as it flew around the room and covered everything including me.  The way it smelled.  How afraid I was that she was going to come after me next.  How much I hated her for dragging me out of bed and making me watch her do it.  All of it came slamming back and I was reliving it for a minute.  I’m sorry I scared you, I’m sorry I hurt you.  I’m so sorry.”

Hot tears scalded their way down Catherine’s face.  How could a mother do that to her child?  What else had the brunette suffered at the hands of such a woman?  Thomas had said her father was abusive, what had he done to the innocent child he was supposed to protect?   “Oh god Sara please don’t, you have nothing to be sorry for.  Do you know how proud I am, no, how honored I am just to know you?  The things you’ve lived through would have broken most people, twisted them, but not you.  You survived everything and came out of it a compassionate, strong, brave, dedicated woman that fights tooth and nail to get justice for the victims regardless of the emotional or physical damage to yourself.  I’m the one that should be apologizing to you.  I never gave you a fair chance.  I took out all my frustrations on you because you were a convenient target.  I let my fears and insecurities blind me to what a beautiful person you are.  Please forgive me?”  

“Only if you forgive me.”  Sara’s own tears where coursing down her cheeks at the heartfelt outpouring from the blonde.  She desperately wanted absolution even though she didn’t think she deserved it.  What she had done would always be a shadow lurking in the back of her mind.  Thomas had planted a dark seed in her head and she would have to keep a close watch on it to make sure it didn’t take root.  If she thought that was happening she’d eat her gun before she could hurt someone.

Catherine reached out and wiped the tears off the brunette’s face.  “There is absolutely nothing for you to be sorry for but if that’s what you need then I’ll give it without reservation.  I forgive you Sara.”  

“Thank you.”  It was all Sara could do to force the words out past the lump in her throat as a tiny bit of the crushing weight of her guilt lifted.  She’d never be completely free of it but it was a little lighter.

Letting her fingers linger on Sara’s flushed cheek Cath knew that she hadn’t banished the younger woman’s fears, only pushed them back for a while.  It would take more than a few words to get the brunette to believe that she couldn’t be held responsible for what happened.  At least now she knew now knew the reason why Sidle had refused to see anyone.  “So I can tell the guys that we can all see you in the morning?   Because I might get away with using Greg to distract Nurse Ratchet one more time but I don’t think he could get her away from the desk enough to get everyone to get back here.”

Sara bit her lip in indecision.  Catherine said she forgave her, but would the others?  She thought about what she had said to her doctor when he questioned her about not wanting visitors.  ‘Have you ever done something so reprehensible, so atrocious that it would turn everyone that knows you against you?  I did.’   “I’m scared to see them.  I scared that now that they know what happened they’ll hate me.  I don’t know if I could take seeing the repulsion in their eyes.”

“They don’t know, no one does and no one will.  It’s not in my statement so you don’t have to worry.”  Catherine tried to ease Sara’s fears.  She had made the decision to hold back some details of their ordeal the moment they were rescued.  It wouldn’t hurt or help a dead man and could only bring the brunette harm.

“What?  Cath you can’t do that!  That’s tampering with evidence, obstruction of justice, you could get fired.”  Sara was terrified of everyone finding out but she didn’t want Catherine to lose her job, not for her.  

“Sara you’re not the one under investigation and Michael Thomas is dead.  Some of the things that were said and done in that room are no ones business but ours.  The only thing that would be accomplished by making it public record would be to have Ecklie and the Sheriff scrutinizing your every move.  I’m trying to protect you, please let me do that?”  Catherine was begging the brunette.  After their little argument in the halls of the lab and Sidle’s subsequent blow up at Conrad the Assistant Director was looking for any excuse to get rid of Sara.  The job meant too much to the younger woman for her to allow that to happen because of two little touches that she had been forced into committing.

Sara wanted to argue.  She knew that everything Catherine had said was true but it went against every thing in her to lie about evidence, even if it was to save her own skin.  But what about to save someone else, someone she had already wronged?  The blonde had given her sworn statement, a legally binding document.  If she gave a different account now it would get only get the older woman into trouble and she couldn’t do that to her.  “Okay, but only because I can’t let you get fired because of me.”

Catherine didn’t stop to think, she just acted.  Standing up she leaned over the brunette and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.  As she murmured a thank you against the pale skin she heard the younger woman gasp.  She realized that while she had quickly gotten use to this small act of connection it was the first time she had done it while Sara was awake.  Blushing furiously the blonde stood up and took a step back, afraid she had offended the woman.  “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that.”  

“No it’s all right.  I was just surprised.”  Shocked was more like it.  Catherine often showed such physical affection towards the guys, a peck on the cheek or a hug when they’d had a bad day, but until this entire nightmare began the blonde had never once extended that sort of mothering towards her.  In the space of a few days the older woman had hugged her, held her hand, gently dried her tears and now she had kissed her.  Sara liked this side of the other woman being directed at her.

Cath could see the sincerity in Sara’s mahogany eyes but she could also see a bone-deep weariness.  She felt exhausted herself from more than just the emotional roller coaster they had been on this afternoon and she knew the brunette had to be feeling it much more acutely with her injuries.  “I’ve kept you up too long, you need your rest.”  

It was as if the blonde’s words had flipped a switch as Sara felt her eyelids beginning to droop.  She couldn’t believe how much she had been sleeping.  Sure they had her doped up but usually she was lucky to get three hours in a row before a nightmare woke her up.  Today she couldn’t seem to stay awake for more than an hour at a time and that meant more dark dreams to haunt her.  She was already half asleep when she realized she was speaking.  “Can you stay for a little longer?”

“I’m not going to move from this spot until they run me out of here for the night and I’ll be back first thing in the morning along with the guys.”  Catherine quickly promised at the unexpected question.  Perhaps she had gotten through to Sara after all if she was asking her to stay.

“Ok, but not Grissom.  I can’t…”

“No sweetheart, not Grissom.  I’m not going to let him hurt you again.”  Catherine felt a renewed rage at her old friend as sleep overtook the younger woman.  That man was going to have to get his act together and soon.  The last thing the brunette needed was a love sick, emotionally stunted, workaholic throwing himself at her while she tried to pick up the pieces of her life a madman had scattered to the wind.  Well if she had to handcuff Gil, barricade and nail shut his door, cut his phone lines and steal his car, she was going to keep him away from Sara until she said she was ready to see him.

As Cath got as comfortable as she could in the hard plastic chair she realized that she hadn’t asked Sara to stay with her when she was released.  Picking up the brunette’s uninjured hand the blonde figured it could wait until tomorrow.  The woman on the bed wasn’t going anywhere so there was time.  

TBC