Inesperada Madre Part 3

See warnings and disclaimers in part 1. This chapter has not been beta'd, all mistakes rest on my head alone.

B’Elanna had spent the last two days holed up in her quarters, trying to avoid the captain and make a decision on what she was going to do about the baby.  

After Kathryn had extracted the promise from her to take a few days and consider carefully what she was going to do, the engineer found that she really wanted to be sure she made the right choice.  However she found it hard to think with Janeway constantly dropping by, calling and leaving her messages.  She knew the older woman was concerned about her but her rants about Seven were not helping.  So she had put a do not disturb on all in-coming communications and had politely asked the red-head to not come by.  Not that that had really stopped her from dropping by ‘just to check’ on her.

Now B’Elanna was once again sitting on her couch contemplating the pros and cons of keeping the baby.  On one hand there was the fact that she would be a single mother in the middle of an uncharted quadrant that delighted in throwing homicidal aliens and never-before-seen spatial anomalies at them.  She had lost count of the times they had narrowly escaped destruction and their luck just had to be running out.

On the other hand there was the child itself.  She had never asked to be conceived.  The baby was a complete innocent. But did she have the right to bring her into this precarious world they lived in?  Could she be a good parent?  B’Elanna hadn’t had the best of role models.  Her father had abandoned them and her mother was distant, never showing affection to her confused and forlorn daughter.  Could she do a better job, learn from their mistakes or would she make them all over again?

B’Elanna seemed to be no closer to answer.  She needed someone to talk to but the one person on the ship that she had been able to bring her problems too was now one of the causes of her confusion.  If she didn’t make some sort of decision soon the engineer was afraid she was going to lose it.

The Klingon decided that pacing might help her thought processes and proceeded to stomp back and forth through the living room.  When that got old she changed it to forth and back.  Just as she was about to give up on pacing and try something else the door-chime sounded.  B’Elanna thought about ignoring it, fearing it was the captain dropping by again but changed her mind when she realized the woman would have checked on her whereabouts before coming.

B’Elanna groaned as she walked to the door to greet her visitor.  She took a second to draw a deep breath to settle her nerves and then activated the opening.  As the large sheet of metal retracted the hybrid’s jaw dropped.  She grabbed the last person she ever expected to see and yanked her into the room before quickly looking both ways down the long hallway.  When she was certain no one had seen her guest the engineer stepped back and allowed the door to close, shielding them from any prying eyes that might come past.  She turned to the young woman, jaw working soundlessly for a few seconds before she found her voice, “Seven what in Kahless’ name are you doing here?  If the captain finds out she’s going to throw you under the brig.”

The ex-drone had been surprised by her rather sudden entrance into the lieutenant’s quarters.  She had not expected to be roughly pulled in and propelled across the room while the cinnamon-skinned woman glanced furtively down the corridor.  B’Elanna’s question however had been anticipated, “I am unconcerned that Captain Janeway will discover my presence.  I left my comm-badge in cargo bay 2 so the computer will display that as my location if an inquiry is made.  I came to ascertain whether or not you have made a decision regarding your pregnancy.”

B’Elanna sighed.  She was already confused and had a strong feeling this conversation wasn’t going to help.  Walking to her couch the engineer sat down heavily and looked up at the statuesque blonde, “Sit down Seven I’m not going to sit here and look up at you.”

The Klingon could tell that the former Borg wanted to refuse when her picture perfect parade rest stance became even stiffer than normal.  She seemed to think about the request for several seconds before giving in and sitting in the chair across from B’Elanna.  The smaller woman simply nodded her thanks before answering Seven’s question, “I don’t know.  I don’t know if I’m ready to be a mother.  I don’t know if I can do it.  What if I make the same mistakes as my parents?  Or maybe I would find some new and inventive ways of screwing up the kid’s life.  You know when it comes to my mom and dad I feel like I’m stalking ghosts that I can never escape.”

Seven could see that the lieutenant had been struggling with these issues and knew that it wasn’t an easy decision with the circumstances being what they were.  She didn’t want to add to the hybrid’s anxiety but she had also been thinking about the baby and what it meant to her.  She had a come to a conclusion which was why she had disobeyed Janeway’s orders to come there, “I would like you consider another option.  If you do not wish to keep the child I would like to ask you to carry it for me.”

B’Elanna was stunned.  She didn’t know what to say, what to think about what the former drone had just asked her.  It took her full twenty seconds of doing an impression of a carp to get her brain kick-started again, “Seven why?  You’re young and healthy.  You should wait until you find someone you want to have a child with not someone you can barely get along with.  You have time you don’t need to rush.”

The blonde had known she would have to explain.  Knowing however didn’t make it any easier to admit to her shortcomings.  “I can not bare a child.  The Borg removed most of my reproductive organs to make room for my abdominal implant.  Though even if I could there are no suitable mates available to me on Voyager.  I estimate that it will take too long for us to reach the Alpha Quadrant for adoption to be an option.  I do not believe that I will have another opportunity to have a child that shares my DNA therefore I have concluded that this is my best chance to reproduce.”

B’Elanna seemed to fly from her seat as the urge to pace overtook her again.  She couldn’t sit still and think; she had to move.  She didn’t know how this situation could get any worse and she certainly didn’t know how to deal with this new twig the ex-drone had thrown onto an already raging fire.  The Klingon made several more circuits of the room before coming to a stop in front of the Borg, “I don’t think I agree that this is your only chance to have a child.  There are other alternatives, though granted they wouldn’t be easy.  Help me understand why now?  What suddenly brought this on?”

Seven knew she was adding to the engineer’s already high stress levels.  She had hoped that B’Elanna would accept her explanation but hadn’t really thought she would.  The former drone would have to revel more of herself to the engineer than she was comfortable with, more than she had shown to anyone including the captain.  “I have been contemplating my feelings on this matter for the last twenty-six point eight hours foregoing regeneration and compromising my efficiency by twelve percent.  It was not until I looked at a holo-image of One that it became clear to me.  I was damaged when he ceased to function.  I do not wish to lose another child.”

“You thought of One as your son.”  B’Elanna whispered as she grasped exactly how deeply Seven’s feelings ran.  She had mistakenly believed the ex-Borg to be emotionless but now she could see them coursing beneath the surface of the cool mask she wore.  The young woman’s soul was laid bare for her to see and it severely shook her.

The blonde forced herself to keep the hybrid’s eye even though she wanted to look away, “That is correct Lieutenant.  Although we did not share a genetic bond it was my nanoprobes’ assimilation of the doctor’s mobile emitter that ultimately brought him into being.  When he first emerged from the maturation chamber and Captain Janeway ordered me to instruct the drone on individuality.  I was resistant.  However after spending time with One I came to…care for him.  When he died, sacrificed himself, to keep the Borg from obtaining his advanced technology I suffered from his loss.  That is why I wish to keep this child.  I do not want to feel that pain again.”

B’Elanna felt her knees start to give and staggered back till she hit the couch and sat down hard, “My god Seven I had no idea.  You never said anything; you never let it show.  I just thought it didn’t affect you like everything else.”

Seven felt anger beginning to burn in her belly, the fire threatening to consume her from the inside out.  She knew how the crew saw her and the tall blonde had even helped to cultivate that image to protect herself from the harsh jibes she had been stung with since being severed from the Collective.  At first she hadn’t understood the barbs thrown her way as the language used was full of colloquialisms that took time for her to research and ascertain the correct definition.  She often spent time reviewing the more painful of the slurs feeling caught in a vicious cycle.  They insulted her because she refused to acknowledge the pain it caused and she couldn’t allow them to see how much it hurt because that would give them power over her. 

Now as the flames within her reached a fevered pitch, Seven knew she had to let them out or be burned to ash.  She stood from the chair and stalked slowly toward B’Elanna and leaned down so that they were face to face , “I know how you think of me Lieutenant.  Cold.  Heartless. Soulless. Emotionless drone. Ice queen.  That damned Borg bitch.  Captain’s pet Borg.  Walking computer.  Automaton.  I am none of these things.  I feel just as deeply as you Klingon, although I have better control of my emotions.  I do not allow them to rule me but I still experience them.  Now all I can ask is that you do not allow your revulsion for me to cloud your decision of my request.”

B’Elanna was frozen to the spot as the ex-drone repeated, verbatim, many of the malicious things she had said about the blonde with a tear coursing down her cheek.  The young woman was to the door before the hybrid regained control of her limbs and bounded out of her seat and flew after her.  The Klingon just managed to grab a mesh covered hand as the metal slab began to recede into the wall.  She yanked the former Borg back and pulled her to the couch forcing her to sit down.

“Seven I am sorry.  If I had had any indication that those things hurt you’re feelings I wouldn’t have said them.  I really had no idea; I thought everything just rolled off your back.  And I don’t hate you.  I hate some of the things you do but not you.  I said those things because you made me angry.  When you challenge my authority in front of my staff, go over my head to Janeway, disregard protocol, make upgrades without permission or even informing me and that damned Borg superiority complex you have sometimes enrages me to the point of wanting to beat you senseless.  I shouldn’t have allowed my anger to get the better of me.  It made me act dishonorably and I apologize.  I can’t swear to you that I will never yell at you again or say something out of line but I promise you I will try not to.”

The tall blonde focused on a glistening tear sliding forlornly down the engineer’s cheek as the caramel-skinned woman explained her behavior.  She had never seen B’Elanna apologize for anything and she had certainly never actually seen her cry.  By the time she had gotten to sickbay the day before there was evidence that the Klingon had been sobbing but although her eyes were red and swollen they were dry.  Seven knew that her own actions had not been above reproach and in light of the older woman’s acknowledgment of her transgressions she felt that a confession of her own was in order, “I provoked you.  I knew that my actions would illicit an emotional response and I often made a conscious decision to push you to that limit.”

B’Elanna thought that if she received one more shock to her system she was going to have a heart attack or a brain aneurysm.  She had always believed the former drone had been goading her but to hear her freely admit it was almost more than she could take at this point, “Why?  If you knew I was going to blow up at you and say hurtful things then why did you do it?”

Seven thought carefully about her answer knowing that would have to handle the situation cautiously if she didn’t want to further alienate the lieutenant, “Because I was attracted to the volatile nature of your emotions.  You are alive in a way that I am not, unafraid to show the universe who you are whereas I hide behind my aloofness.  Your passion sets you free, my self-control holds me captive.”

The Klingon swore she heard envy in the Astrometrics officer’s voice.  She had never thought anyone would admire her temper but in a strange twisted way it made sense and shed light on Seven’s behavior toward her.  B’Elanna also realized she had learned more about the ex-Borg in the last twenty minutes than she had in the last two years.  Things couldn’t stand as they were, they had to find some sort of compromise between their personalities but she didn’t have the strength at the moment, “Ok, I am going to think about what you asked but I have to tell you I’m not comfortable with the idea.  I don’t know if I could have a baby and then just give her away.  I’ll figure something out and let you know.  Now you better get out of here.  Janeway might decide to drop by and check on me.”

B’Elanna walked to her door stopping before she tripped the proximity sensor and waited for the former drone to join her.  When the younger woman stepped up beside her the hybrid raised her hand to keep her behind her, “Computer what is Captain Janeway’s currant location?”

‘Captain Janeway is in turbolift three.”

“Damn it she’s on the move, probably on her way here to check up on me personally since I wouldn’t answer her messages.  Computer are there any crewmembers in the corridor outside my quarters?” B’Elanna quizzed the computer trying to make sure the blonde could get out of there undetected.  When she got a negative answer she opened the door and checked herself just to be safe.

When she was certain the coast was clear the engineer waved the former drone out the door, “Take turbolift four up two decks then take number two back to the cargo bay.  You shouldn’t run into her that way.”

Seven wasn’t sure why the hybrid was making such an effort on her part but was she grateful for the thoughtfulness and decided to put the doctor’s social lessons to use, “Thank you Lieutenant.”

B’Elanna’s eyes widened a bit at the unexpected courtesy but she didn’t have time to dwell on it, “No problem.  Now you better go.”

Seven nodded once in acknowledgment before leaving.  She was quickly out of B’Elanna’s sight, long powerful legs carrying her down the hall and out of harms way. The Klingon reentered her quarters and went back to her couch to wait for the captain’s visit.  Once that woman got an idea in her head she was more stubborn than a targ.  On many occasions B’Elanna had appreciated that quality.  But at the moment it just made her want to throw as many large objects as she could get her hands on, preferably ones that would shatter and make a satisfying crunching sound when they hit. 

Gathering any reserves of patience she had left B’Elanna called for the visitor to enter when the chime sounded.  The auburn haired woman stepped in and the Klingon thanked Kahless that she had gotten Seven out of there when she did.  She opened her mouth to speak but the captain cut her off before she could get the first syllable out.

“B’Elanna I know you said you wanted to be by yourself for awhile but I have some news and you wouldn’t answer my messages.  Tuvok has finished going over the sensor logs and is preparing his report as we speak.  He says he will be ready to present his findings at 1730 hours in conference room.  I’ve been trying to let you know so you can be there.”  Kathryn was thrilled her old friend had worked so quickly and efficiently to finish his investigation.  She wanted this situation resolved as fast as possible so that her chief engineer could begin to put it behind her.

Relief took wing in the hybrid’s heart and she felt like she was flying.  To B’Elanna having the last piece of the puzzle to this mystery was all she thought she needed to make a final decision.  To know this child’s origins would seal its fate, and her own.  The knowledge that the ordeal was almost over or just beginning brought her back down from her cloud, “That’s in ten minutes.  Have you told Seven yet?”

Janeway turned away from the muscular brunette as just the mention of the lanky blonde brought an almost uncontrollable anger to the surface like a geyser, “No she has no business being there.  Once Tuvok gives us the evidence I’ll have her arrested.  You won’t have to see her at all.”

B’Elanna’s jaw dropped at the venom in the older woman’s voice.  She had no idea what was causing the captain’s sudden change of personality and she was worried.  It wasn’t like her to be so emotional; irrational, stubborn, pig-headed, occasionally reckless, and often rash but not emotional.  If this went on much longer the engineer resolved herself to bringing it to Chakotay’s attention although she didn’t want to open an inquiry that could hurt her friend.  Perhaps he could make it unofficial until they had some idea of what was causing the captain’s strange behavior, “Cap…Kathryn I think Seven needs to be there, has a right to be there.  This concerns her as much as it does me.”

The captain turned back to the Klingon as she finished speaking.  She couldn’t understand B’Elanna’s sudden change of attitude towards Seven and wondered if perhaps the drone had done something else to her to effect the engineer’s mind.  She would have to ask the doctor to check into it later, “B’Elanna I’m just trying to think of your feelings.  It’s not going to be easy to have her in the room while Tuvok describes exactly how she violated and impregnated you.  Under the circumstances I’m sure you can understand why I chose not to inform her?”

The hybrid was absolutely stunned.  It took a few moments for her to shake off the shock but when she did a black cloud of anger eclipsed her mind and blotted out her reason.  B’Elanna ran out of the room afraid of what she might say if she didn’t get away from the woman.  As supportive as Kathryn had been for the engineer she had been equally critical of the ex-drone.  As the captain’s diatribes became harsher the brunette found herself becoming more protective of the younger blonde, especially now after the talk they had just had.

The Klingon hurried into her bathroom and locked the door.  Grabbing the edge of the sink B’Elanna hung her head taking large gulps of air trying to calm herself.  When she started getting light headed from the fast deep breaths the engineer tried dunking her head in the sink.  She held her breath for over minute as she let the water cool her burning rage.  Something was wrong, very /very/ wrong. 

She was caught in a surreal nightmare that she couldn’t wake up from and the hybrid thought that there was a good possibility she could be losing her mind.  The two most constant people in her life had done complete 180’s.  She had always counted on Seven to be emotionless and logical, a creature of reason.  Now the former drone was crying and begging her to keep a child neither of them had any say in creating.  And the captain was the opposite.  Janeway had been a pillar of strength for not only her but the entire ship, always fair, always willing to listen and consider her crews’ ideas and opinions even if she didn’t agree or follow them.  It just didn’t track with the woman standing in her living room.  But the dark woman didn’t have time to reconcile the sudden schizophrenic tendencies of the captain and former Borg.  She needed to be composed for the meting with Tuvok. 

It took an iron fist for B’Elanna to temporarily strangle her fears.  She knew they would be back but for now she was as calm as her half Klingon blood would ever allow her to be.  The engineer new she would need that small measure of self control for the coming ordeal.   She dried her face and took one last deep breath before opening the door and nearly running into the captain who had been waiting right outside. 

“B’Elanna are you all right?  You’re not feeling sick are you?”  Janeway had been worried about the hybrid when she had run out of the room.  She had followed the young woman but was reluctant to intrude, instead standing directly outside the small en-suite waiting for the brunette to emerge. 

B’Elanna tried not to let her surprise at the near collision show on her face.  She quickly steadied herself on the doorframe before addressing the red-head.  “I’m fine.  I thought I was going to be sick for a second but it’s passed now.   I need to change clothes so why don’t you go ahead and I’ll follow you in a few minutes.”

Kathryn thought the Klingon’s voice sounded a little strained but chalked it up to the tense situation.  “I really would feel better if I waited and we went together in case you start to feel ill again.”

For the second time that day B’Elanna was about to lie to her captain even though she hated doing it.  No matter how Janeway was acting she was still her friend and just the thought of being deceitful to the woman that had given her so much made the hybrid’s stomachs clench painfully.  But at this point in time the engineer didn’t see any other way.  “Really Kathryn I’m OK.  I just need a couple of moments alone to compose myself and then I’ll be right down.”

It suddenly dawned on the captain that the brunette didn’t want her to see what she thought of as weakness. Janeway understood how privileged she was that the proud young woman had allowed her to see the venerability she hid from the rest of world. She reached up and tucked a wisp of damp hair behind B’Elanna’s ear before letting her hand rest on her cheek. “All right, take your time.  There’s no hurry and we can’t start without you so just come down when you’re ready.”

B’Elanna relished the warm comfort of the hand cradling her face.  Even now with Janeway’s harsh treatment of the ex-Borg she couldn’t deny herself the older woman’s support.  The captain had come to symbolize to her everything that a mother should be and the tiny scared child within her yearned for her love and approval.  However the engineer knew that she couldn’t stay there any longer, they all needed the closure Tuvok’s findings would bring and the sooner the better. 

The engineer gave a small smile as she took a step back and allowed Kathryn’s fingers to trail down her cheek before dropping away.  The captain nodded and took one last long look at the fiery half Klingon before exiting B’Elanna’s quarters. 

The hybrid waited a moment before she turned and pulled on a fresh uniform.  She barely finished pulling on her boots before activating her communicator, “Torres to Seven of Nine.”

‘Yes Lieutenant, how may I be of assistance?’

B’Elanna rushed out of her quarters as she replied not wanting to waste time, “Where are you now?”

‘I am currently located in cargo bay 2.’

“Good, don’t move I’ll be right there. Torres out.”  The Klingon hurried down the corridor as quickly as she could to the turbolift.  It took her less than two minutes to reach the doors to the cargo bay. 

*****

Kathryn felt good as she made her way to see Tuvok in the conference room, confident that she had helped eased B’Elanna’s burden. She was determined to help the beautiful engineer get over this latest blow to her psyche, no matter what it took.  Now she was ready to get this meeting over with and have things get back to as normal as the Delta Quadrant could offer.

Janeway entered the meeting room to find her security officer already there, standing in front of the large display screen and entering information.  She walked over to him and peered over his shoulder trying to see what he was doing.  “So Tuvok, what have you found?”

The Vulcan finished his last entry and blanked the screen before turning to answer, “Captain I was under the impression you were going to retrieve Lieutenant Torres and Seven of Nine.  Was I in error?  Are we to proceed without them?”

Kathryn regarded the slightly raised brow on the tall man’s face with irritation.  She had been glad to see him already there because she could get a summary from her chief of security before hand.  Then when the hybrid arrived she would know how to best inform her to soften the blow.  Now it seemed that the small grace period she had would be wasted.  “No you are not mistaken.  B’Elanna needed a few minutes to change so she’ll be here shortly.  I’ve decided that Seven doesn’t need to be here so she won’t be joining us.  Now give me a run down of what you’ve found.”

Tuvok repeated a mantra he often used when dealing with some of the more frustrating aspects of his commanding officer’s personality.  Many times he had found her obstinate and often irrational behavior to test his normal iron control of his emotions.  He once more repressed a glimmer of annoyance and decided that it was as good a time as any to address the question of Janeway’s strange attitude.  “Captain I feel that it is my duty to inquire about the sudden reversal of your acceptance of Seven.  It is out of character from your dealings with her up to this point and very puzzling.”

Kathryn knew she wasn’t going to get anything out of him before B’Elanna arrived.  She knew from their many years together that Tuvok was as stubborn as an old Terran donkey but he usually left talks like this for more private venues. “Fine.  It’s my fault, all of it.  Now I have to rectify the situation before B’Elanna is hurt anymore than she already has been.” 

The captain watched the Vulcan’s brow climb even further up his forehead and knew exactly what he was thinking.  “No I don’t mean that I personally impregnated her but I am responsible for allowing it to happen.  I stranded us all here by destroying the Caretaker’s array.  I made a deal with the Borg.  I decided to help Seven regain her humanity after I severed her from the Collective when everyone, including you, advised against it.  I allowed her free reign on the ship.  I trusted her, liked her, hell I even thought of her as a surrogate daughter.  So I let my guard down and she attacked B’Elanna in the vilest manner imaginable.  I didn’t take my responsibility seriously enough before and a good friend was harmed, but I’m going to make it right.”

Tuvok knew ultimately the captain of any ship was responsible for everything and everyone onboard but he felt Janeway was carrying command culpability to extreme measures in this case.  It was obvious that she was allowing emotions to cloud her judgment.  There was also something in her eyes that he couldn’t quite put his finger on, something that said there was something the petite red-head wasn’t telling him and perhaps, herself.  He decided to bide his time and approach the captain again when she was more relaxed.

***

B’Elanna didn’t have to look hard for her quarry when she entered the cargo bay.  The former drone was standing almost directly in front of the door facing it as she walked in.  The engineer noticed the blonde already had her optical implant raised in silent question.  She held up her hands to forestall the questions she knew were coming and blurted out the reason she was there as quickly as she could, “Tuvok has finished his examination of the internal sensors.  He called a meeting in the conference room in, well now actually.  Janeway came to tell me about it but she wasn’t going to tell you so I gave her an excuse to go on without me and ran down here.”

Seven’s only outward acknowledgment of the hybrid’s rush of words was the rapid blinking of her eyes as she considered their ramifications.  The calm indifferent mask that was her normal countenance hid the seething anger she could feel crawling through her mind.  The captain’s treatment of her thus far had wounded the blonde deeply but to deny her access to a legal proceeding that directly affected her angered her beyond anything she had ever felt before.  The blonde now understood the human saying ‘seeing red’ because a crimson curtain had dropped over her eyes.  She never felt the cold metal of the storage container as she spun and her fist pierced it before sending it flying halfway down the length of the cargo bay. 

B’Elanna looked on in awe as Seven’s eyes widened and then narrowed to tiny slits and her full lips thinned to near non-existence.  The former drone’s face was alive with her fury and the engineer was captivated by this unexpected display of almost Klingon-like temper, all it lacked was a string of colorful curses.  The tall woman was the picture of savage primal anger and the hybrid was absolutely captivated.

B’Elanna was curious as to how much damage the willowy blonde had inflected on the metal bin. She would have gone to inspect it if the ex-Borg wasn’t rushing out the door and brunette had to run after her to make sure she didn’t end up in the brig.

TBC