Buffy/Angel X-over  Buff/Cor
Spoilers: Series finale on WB, sorry not sure of Ep. name.

Disclaimers: I own nothing except the clothes on my back and the arraignment of the words on this page, the characters belong to Joss, Mutant Enemy and now UPN and a host of other people I don’t know.
 

Warning!!!!!!!!! f/f content ahead NC17, sooner or later. This is my first BtVS fic, so I would like to apologize in advance for any cannon mistakes I will make. Sorry I really don’t like Angel so I never watched his show that much, Cordy being the only thing on the show worth watching IMO, so I will probably butcher the characters of that show. Please forgive me.  Any feedback you deem me worthy of can be sent to kimmi2259@yahoo.com
 
 
 
 

Cordelia Chase, former Queen C of Sunnydale High, former cheerleader, former privileged youth, former almost-member of the Scooby Gang sank spinelessly to the floor.  Buffy was dead.  She knew that the possibility of that happening was lurking around every corner. That’s what a slayer’s life was.  But knowing that did nothing to prepare her for what she was feeling now.  It hurt.  A giant hand was squeezing her heart and pressing the air out of her lungs. She had never been particularly close to the blonde Slayer, never really been one of the gang but she had actually liked Buffy and had thought that under different circumstances they might have really good friends.

If Xander hadn’t betrayed her with that red headed witch she wouldn’t have found herself on the outs with the Scoobs and her old sheep friends.  Buffy had been cast out by association.  But even though she genuinely liked the other girl, they were not close and Cordy had no idea why she suddenly felt like curling into a ball in a dark room and crying herself to sleep.  Sure the Slayer had saved her life on more than one and the world itself from destruction more time than she wanted to think about, but she couldn’t understand the utter desolation she felt knowing she was gone. The last thought she had before darkness overtook her was ‘I didn’t get a chance to tell her goodbye’.

Cordelia didn’t need to open her eyes to know that she must be in of the guestrooms of the hotel they used as a headquarters.  The not quite soft mattress and the musty smell of the blanket covering her were clues enough to guess her location, but for the first foggy moments after waking she couldn’t understand why on earth she would be sleeping in there.  And then the rushing grief hit her all over again.  Buffy was gone.

Curling herself into a fetal position the Seer wept quietly, letting her tears wash away some of the agony that griped her soul.  Cordy wasn’t never sure latter how long she had lain there the dark room crying, minutes hours or years, before she felt a cool hand on her bare arm pulling her into a cool still chest.  The absence of a heartbeat and the lake of heat in the body holding her eventually dawned into recognition.  Angel was holding her, putting aside his own grief to comfort her.  Or maybe he was deal with his pain by helping her, however at the moment she didn’t care.

“Gunn will take you home.”  The souled vampire told her softly when she had cried herself out.  “I think we’re all going to take a few days off, unless you get a vision or some other emergency comes up.  You should get some rest.”

Cordy nodded into the semi-darkness as she felt the bed spring back up as he stood.  As she followed him to the door she couldn’t stop the question from escaping her lips even though she didn’t want to ask it.  “What do we do now?”

Angel paused with his hand on the door, he knew what she was really asking ‘how do we go on without her’ but her didn’t have any definite answers for her.  “We just go on, somehow.  She would want it that way.”

The seer tried to keep new tears from falling from her swollen eyes as she followed her boss and friend back to the lobby of the hotel. He looked completely defeated.  He stumbled so many times Cordy would have thought he was drunk if she hadn’t known better and the slump of his shoulders made it look as if he were carrying the weight of the world on them.  Of course knowing Angel he was probably blaming himself for not being able to be in two places at once.

Cordelia didn’t speak again as Angel lead her back to the lobby.  She didn’t speak as he helped her into the car.  She didn’t speak as Gunn started the engine and pulled away from the hotel.  She didn’t speak for most of the drive to her apartment, not until the fifth time she had seen Gunn glace nervously, almost frightened at her like she had suddenly sprouted a second head or something.  Sighing softly to herself Cordy turned to her friend.  “Why do you keep looking at me like that?”

Gunn cleared his throat and fixed his eyes firmly back on the road embarrassed to be caught.  “Sorry but that wail you let out before you fainted… I’ve never heard anything like it.  I got to tell you girl it scared the hell out of me and then you were out cold for two hours and nothing we did would wake you up.  And to tell you the truth, you look like shit.  I’m just worried about you is all.”
 

Cordy placed her hand tiredly on the man’s shoulder to ease his fears but her own mind was in turmoil.  She vaguely remembered hearing a howling noise before everything went dark but she hadn’t recognized it as coming from her own mouth.  And two hours!  Fainting was unusual in and of itself for her, but for two hours, that was just weird.  Cordy was sure she had never heard of anyone passing out for no good reason for two hours before.  The seer shook her head, she was really too tired to think about it.  She felt like she had been awake fro at least a week.  “I’ll be okay Gunn, I just need to sleep.”

Gunn nodded his head, not really convinced, but wisely decided to drop the subject.  He figured if he pushed too much it would just upset his friend even more.  As he pulled in front of Cordy’s building a small finely boned hand on his arm stopped him before he could get out, he had planned to walk the brunette up to her apartment.

“I can make it upstairs by myself.  You don’t have to walk me.  Go ahead and go home, you look like you could use some rest too.”  Cordy told him firmly.  She didn’t feel like having company any longer than necessary, she just wanted to be alone.

“Sure Cordy, just let me know if you need anything.  And I just want you to know I’m sorry about your friend.”  The black man spoke softly, almost whispered, to her.  Somehow he thought that if he talked louder it would cause her more pain.

Cordelia paused only long enough to say thank you before she half stumbled half ran to the door of her building.  Gunn didn’t know Buffy and he didn’t know anything about their relationship, he was just assuming from her reaction that they had been friends.  While Cordy did consider the petite slayer a friend, they were never close enough to warrant the sort of reaction she had had at the hotel.  Maybe she was just tired and worn out from everything that had happened in the last few days and it wasn’t all about Buffy, it was just some sort of hysterical reaction to all the stress.   That thought made her feel a little more normal, not happier just more like herself and not like some sort of punching bag that has lost all its filling.

She climbed the stairs in a daze and opened her front door by habit alone.  She waved absently at Phantom Dennis who was trying to get her attention by opening the refrigerator door and slamming it.  She floated into her bedroom and somehow her clothes fell off her and she materialized in the shower.  The force of the hot water on her body woke Cordy up just enough to finish her shower and fall into bed.  She was deep asleep before her head touched the pillow.

“Turn that light out, I’m trying to sleep.”  Cordy mumbled as she rolled over away from the offending brightness.

‘Open your eyes Cordelia Chase.’
‘There are things you must see, Seer.’

“Oh no. No no no no no, I want to sleep I don’t want to see any visions and I don’t want any headaches.  Please, just for once leave me alone.  I’ve got to get some sleep if I’m going to make it to the funeral…”  The brunette squeezed her eyes shut even tighter than before, trying to block out the renewed pain she felt grip her heart.

Of course there would have to be a funeral, Buffy was dead.  They would have to go to Sunnydale and sit in a cold room with Buffy’s body and the whole gang.  Dawn, little Dawn who just lost her mother and now her sister, would be there.  And after the service they would drive out to one of Sunnyhell’s many, many cemeteries and they would have a short service there and then they would lower the blonde slayer into the cold ground and that would be it.

Cordy wanted to scream from the pain she felt and she wasn’t anywhere near in the mood to deal with the spokes models for The Powers That Be.  Whatever they wanted she didn’t want to hear it, not now.  Just this once she wanted some time off to help herself.  Was it too much to ask to be allowed to grieve?

‘Yes.’
‘If you will listen there will be no need for grief.’

God how she hated the way they did that. Cordy could never really tell which one was speaking. Luckily they didn’t have too many of these little tête-à-têtes.  She didn’t know if her sanity could survive it if they did.  “Ok, just tell me what you want so I can get back to sleep.”

‘You must retrieve the Slayer.’
‘You must reunite her body and soul.’

“What! You want me to steal Buffy’s body!  No way, you want her body? Get it yourself.  Send me home now.  I let you put vision in head, give me huge headaches all for the greater good, but I am NOT letting you people turn me into a body snatcher.”  Cordy glared at the pair with her best eat shit and die look.  “Home.  Now.”

‘You must do it.’
‘You are the only one who can.’

“I’m sure Angel or Willow or Giles or any of the Scooby’s would be happy to be a grave robber for you, why don’t you go ask them.”  The Seer told them quickly trying to make them see they had options that didn’t involve her.

‘We are sure they would.’
‘But you are the one who must.’

Cordy’s shoulders dropped in defeat.  When TPTB got something into their heads they held on to it like a pit bull.  “Why me?  Why am I the one that has to do it?”

‘Your fates are bound together.’
‘They are intertwined.’
‘You felt it when you learned of her death.’
‘Your destinies lie with each other.’

Cordelia sighed heavily.  “What do you want me to do?”

Cordy winced as she handed her credit card over to the girl behind the counter at the car rental company.  This was going to put her right at her limit, if not over it.  She just didn’t see any way around it.  She couldn’t very well ride with Angel and Wesley, steal Buffy’s body and get it back here without them knowing something.  The shining happy people had made it very clear that no one was to know what she was doing.

After getting the car the brunette would-be actress called her mother and told her was coming for a visit, at lease she wouldn’t have to spring for a hotel room.  Then she drove to her apartment, collected her bags and told Dennis to keep an eye on the place and that she would see him, in a manner of speaking, in a few days.

The drive to Sunnydale was long but it was long enough for Cordelia to have second and third and fourth thoughts about what she had to do.  She could kill a demon, that wasn’t a problem even with all the nasty icky things that went along with it, but this was different.  This was a human body, a dead human body, Buffy’s dead human body.  At least no one would be around if she did something to embarrass herself.

Her mother was her usual bitching-about-her-idiot-ex-husband-and-how-it-was-all-his-fault-she-had-been-lowered-to-this obnoxious self.  Cordy wasn’t sure if she could handle her mother for any length of time, so on the excuse that she needed to find out about the arraignments she left her mother’s small apartment after taking only enough time to throw her clothes on the bed and go to the bathroom to freshen up before escaping.

Cordy pulled up in front of the Summer’s house a few minutes later but didn’t get out immediately.  Instead she sat for an indeterminate amount of time just staring at Buffy’s house.  She hadn’t been there for Joyce’s funeral; no one had bothered to tell her until about a week afterward that she was dead.  Even though it hurt, Cordy could understand why they hadn’t thought to tell her.  Gathering her courage, Cordelia climbed out of the rental and went to face the Scoobs.

Giles answered the door and stood there mouth agape staring at her for several long seconds before giving her slight smile that never got near his eyes.  He stepped back to let her in and as Cordy crossed the threshold to Buffy’s home she took deep and swore she could smell the blonde slayer.  The sensation caused fresh tears to well up in her eyes but it was the sight of Dawn coming to see who was at the door that made them spill over.

Cordy pulled the young girl into a desperate embrace holding her tightly to her and stroking her hair.  Bending down she whispered into her ear.  “Don’t worry Dawn everything is going to be alright.  Soon everything will be fine.  You just have to hold on for a little while longer.”

Cordy didn’t know whom she was trying to comfort, herself or Dawn. She was so absorbed in holding onto some small piece of Buffy that she didn’t even notice the startled look Dawn gave to Giles.  Cordelia mentally shook herself and released her hold on the girl, stepping back quickly when she felt the watcher put a hand gently on her shoulder.  Looking up at the British man Cordy wasn’t really surprised to see tears shining in his eyes.

Giles stepped forward and threw an arm around the brunettes shoulder giving it a slight squeeze.  It had surprised him that she had come; she had never really been part of the group as far as he could tell.  But she was obviously distressed, as they all were.  He led her into the living room were the others were gathered.  The Scooby Gang was peering expectantly at the doorway as they rounded the corner sprawled on any available surface.  She gave them a half-hearted wave in the way of a greeting.

Willow lifted her head from where it was resting on her girlfriend’s shoulder when Cordelia followed Giles into the room surprise written on her face.  “Cordy, what are you doing here?”  Realizing how that must sound to the other girl, she quickly stammered an amendment to her first statement.  “What I mean is, I thought you would come with Angel and its way to bright out for him you know with the bursting into flames in sunlight and everything.  Is he not coming?”

“I’m sure he’ll leave LA as soon as it’s safe.  I just wanted to be alone for awhile so I came by myself.”  The Seer told her in a soft voice.  Somehow it didn’t seem right to speak above a whisper, as if it might disturb the dead.

Willow saw the haunted look on her former tormenter’s face and for some reason she didn’t even pause to go to the taller girl and offer her what little comfort she could.  Her hand didn’t waver as she reached out to lightly grip one of the taller girl’s slender shoulders.  “Cordy are you ok?  You look really pale.”  The Wiccan was concerned that Cordelia was going to pass out again and the last time had really scared her.

The brunette was painfully aware of how she looked, like death warmed over.  She had only managed about two full hours of sleep the night before due to horrible nightmares and she had cried the rest of he time.  In short she was exhausted.   Cordy glanced around the room looking at the other occupants but not really seeing them when she answered the redhead.   “I’m ok Willow, just tired.”

The other sitting morosely in the living room finally registered on the seer.  Xander and his ex-demon girlfriend sat dejectedly in an overstuffed chair in one corner and Spike of all people was sitting in a folding chair in the other corner of the room.  Although no one seemed to be paying the vampire any attention, no one seemed to be challenging his right to be there.  He was pale even for the undead and light pink streaks stained his face, Cordy wondered when exactly the blonde vampire had become part of the gang.

Then there was the blonde girl that Willow had been sitting with when she came in.  Cordy didn’t recognize the girl, but she had a pretty good idea of who she was just from the way she and Willow had been sitting.  Cordy moved smoothly around the smaller girl and stepped in front of the nervous looking blonde.  After taking a moment to size up the couch’s occupant Cordelia Chase held her hand firmly in front of her, offering it the blonde.  “Hi I’m Cordelia.  It’s nice to meet you…ah…”  She let the sentence hang, suddenly remembering she didn’t know the girl’s name.

“Tara.”  The blonde Wiccan answered quietly.  “I’m sorry it’s not under better circumstances.”

Cordy felt the tears burning in her eyes and she quickly released Tara’s hand.  “Right, better circumstances.”   She looked around for some place to escape to; she didn’t want them seeing her cry.

Her frantic gaze landed on Giles.  The British man was observing her a little warily, as if she was some new unknown form of demon and he wasn’t sure if she was dangerous or not yet.  Suddenly she just couldn’t deal anymore, she had to get away from all of them for a few minutes to get herself together.  “I have to go to the bathroom.”  She blurted as she fled the room and ran up the stairs.

Cordy paused in her flight at the top of the stairs when she heard her ex’s voice nearly shouting in his confusion.  “Since when does Queen C cry?  And for that matter what is she even doing her, I didn’t think her and Buff where that close.  Besides when did she get a heart?”

Cordelia was about to run again at Xander’s harsh sounding words when she the most unlikely source coming to her defense.  “Shut up Xander.  You didn’t see her when I told them about Buffy.  The look in her eyes was this haunted hurt look that I can’t really describe and then she screamed.  No scream is really quiet right it was more like a keening wail, like a wounded animal.  It was so full of pain and agony I thought my eardrums were gonna burst, then she passed out and nobody could wake her up.  And I think Cordy always had a heart she just kept it hidden most of the time, especially after what we did to her.  So why don’t you give her chance?”

Cordy couldn’t see the rage on the redhead’s face or the shame on Xander’s at the last comment, but she was extremely grateful for the way Willow had stood up for her.  She turned away from the stairs and wandered down the hall not aware of her destination until she found herself standing in front of Buffy’s room.

Someone had left the door open and Cordy could see the crumpled sheets and comforter on the blonde’s bed, no one had thought to make the bed.  It made it look like the slayer had just stepped out and was coming back at any moment.  She wandered around the room picking up a few objects.  Buffy didn’t have much in the way of material possessions, being the chosen one didn’t leave much time for her to have a job to earn money for frivolous trappings that most girls their age couldn’t seem to live without.  Since leaving Sunnydale Cordy knew quite a bit about living without.

Cordelia finished her circuit of the small room and came back to the bed that seemed to waiting for it’s occupant.  The Seer sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled one of the pillows to her chest, hugging it tightly.  She noticed that the Slayer’s scent still clung to the soft cover, as if it too couldn’t yet bear to give up this last small part of it’s owner.  With tears flowing freely down her face, Cordy tried to figure out why the pain was so strong.

She had never hurt this much before, not even when Xander had betrayed her with Willow.  She didn’t know why it felt like Buffy had abandoned them all, even though she knew that the slayer hadn’t had a choice.  Cordy did not feel the passage of time as she sat alone with her thoughts.  It wasn’t until Giles came to find her that she realized she had been sitting on Buffy’s bed for more than an hour.  Her tears had stopped at some point during her silent musings, but they were prominently evident in the salty trails that had been left by their passage.

The ex-watcher looked a little uncomfortable as he told her that they were all going to the funeral home now, and did she want to ride with some one or take her car.  Cordy told him that she would follow them, she just needed a minute to freshen up.  She put the pillow back in it’s place giving it one last pat as she got up to go wash the dried remnants of her tears.
 

The funeral home was your average run-of-the-mill Sunnydale establishments.  If the exterior of the place was gloomy then the inside was downright oppressive.  The dark drab colors and the somber pseudo artwork made the air-conditioned rooms feel thick with grief.  Cordy had followed Giles and the rest of the gang after watching Spike run from the house, a dirty old blanket covering him, dive into the trunk of the car.  The vampire was already smoking by the time they closed the trunk lid, but he never made a sound.  Willow told Cordy later that he hadn’t said a word since the night Buffy had died.

They were the first people to arrive since the viewing wouldn’t officially start for another half-hour.  This time was supposed to be reserved for family but aside from Dawn, Buffy’s only real family had been her close-knit group of friends.  Cordy waited near the back of the room as the others each took a private moment to say goodbye.  She wasn’t quite ready to see the slayer in her coffin just yet.  Even though this had always been what they knew would eventually happen none of them were really prepared for it.

Cordelia never could remember afterwards walking up to the casket, it never seemed a conscious effort to move, but more like a floating sensation as if she was being drawn forward.  It was the coffin itself that seemed to stop her forward motion, as if that was the only barrier that could have stopped her from just floating away.  It took several breathless eternities for Cordy to be able to look down at the slayer.

Buffy looked more peaceful than Cordy could ever remember her looking in life.  If it wasn’t for the unnatural pallor of her skin and the stiff uncomfortable looking position they had posed her in, Cordy could almost believe that she was just resting.  That any second the slayer would burst from the casket and tell them that it had all been a horribly tasteless joke, that she wasn’t really dead and everything was going to be fine.

Cordy watched her hand reach out, powerless to stop it.  She couldn’t feel her hand, couldn’t feel the hard smooth wood of the elaborate box that held the slayer, couldn’t feel the silky lining that the slayer rested on, couldn’t feel the soft cotton of the dress the slayer wore.  Cordy’s hand was itself dead until it touched the cold lifeless flesh of the slayer’s hand.  It took a moment for the information to sink into her clouded mind that the frigid unyielding tissue was indeed Buffy’s.  When the mists did part and the knowledge sank in Cordelia had to jerk her hand away to grasp her head as it exploded and world came to an end.

When the darkness began to fade and the world started to return, Cordelia became vaguely aware of people standing around her and calling her name.  She wanted to open her eyes but they seemed to weigh a ton.  It took several tries and a weak groan before she could manage to even crack one heavy lid.  The light in the gloomy room was bright enough to make her squint and the anxious faces looming over her made her want to shut her eye and keep it that way.  It wasn’t just Willow that had seen her freak this time, it was everyone and she could feel the embarrassment coloring her face to a nice deep shade of red.

Cordy started to get up but a set of strong hands held her down and she forced herself to open both eyes to see who the offending appendages belonged to.  Giles’ worried face was hovering over her and she could fuzzily make out the startled faces of the Scoobs.  Forcing herself to ignore the dwarf with the sledgehammer having a party in her head, Cordy brushed the hands from her shoulders and just managed to sit up without passing out and causing further damage to her already bruised ego.

“Cordelia you really should lie down, your very pale and you, uh… stopped breathing for a couple of minutes.  I really think it best if you let Xander or I take somewhere to rest.”  Giles stuttered out as quickly as he could.  He was extremely disconcerted by Cordelia’s behavior today as well as what Willow had told them about her initial response to the news.  He wasn’t sure what was going on, but it gave him a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach whatever it was.

Cordy could feel panic looming over her like a tsunami.  She didn’t have a damn clue as to what was going on, but one thing was crystal clear to her.  She couldn’t leave.  She had to stay as close to Buffy as she could from now until the funeral.  Something had happened when she had touched the blonde’s hand, it had almost felt like a vision except a hundred times more painful.  The images that had flooded her mind were even more distorted than usual, but they had a common theme of death, destruction, fire and pain with the slayer standing at the center.  “No.  Just help me up, I’m fine.  Really.”  She added the last at the look of disbelief on the British man’s face.

Giles still looked a little incredulous as he helped Cordelia to her feet, and she thought she saw a fleeting wince of pain cross his face.  She was about to ask him about it when she caught sight of the casket and the room shrank till it was the only thing she could see.

Cordy felt as if she was being drawn against her will, like she wasn’t in control of her body,  as she pushed her way past the others still gathered around her and moved toward the back of the room once more.  The Scooby’s had carried her to the front of the room when she had passed out, and now it felt as if she was sprinting down the room even though she couldn’t feel her legs moving.  So intent was she on her destination that she didn’t see the look that passed between Willow and her girlfriend Tara.

Tara pulled Willow away from the others, never taking her eyes off the brunet as she dashed back to Buffy’s side.  “Did you see that?”  She whispered urgently.

The red headed Wiccan nodded slightly her gazed locked on her former enemy as well.  “Yeah, I think so.  I saw something, I’m just not sure what.  For a second it kinda looked like…”

“That’s what I saw too.  I was almost like that body swapping thing with Faith, only not, like it was more like a shadow or something.  I don’t know, but it felt like her.”  The blonde witch nodded as she tried to explain what she had seen.

Both girls tensed as the seer stopped in front of the coffin once more and waited breathlessly to see if there was going to be a matinee performance of the amazing fainting beauty queen.  When a minute had passed and Cordy was still standing they let out a collective sigh of relief and while keeping a close eye on the taller girl they moved back to the sanctuary of the group.

When Cordelia was looking down at the slayer’s face for the second time that day she felt a moment of pure terror engulf her.  For just a split second she could have sworn that it was her lying there.  It passed just as quickly as it had come and she was left only with an agonizing sorrow and a need to stay as close as she could to Buffy.

Time had ceased to have any meaning as Cordy kept her quiet vigil watching over Buffy’s body.  The presence of other did not manage to worm its way into her conciseness even when they stood next to her to peer down at the slayers body, she perceived no threat from them so they simply didn’t exist in her mind.  Hunger, thirst, weariness and aching muscles could not pierce the fog of her mind, all she knew was making sure that nothing happened to the blonde’s body.

It wasn’t until someone shook her hard and forced her to look at something other than the coffin that reality slowly crept back in.  Angel stood over her hands gripping her shoulders painfully as he tried to get her attention.  Pain was etched clearly into his face and he looked older somehow, even though that was impossible for a vampire. A look of relief passed over his features as recognition slowly dawned on her face and she blinked in acknowledgment.  “Angel when did you get here?”

“About an hour ago, I tried to talk to you but, you ah didn’t seem to hear me.  We have to leave, the funeral home is closing for the night.”  Angel breathed a silent sigh; he had been incredibly worried about his friend ever since she had fainted when Willow had told them about Buffy.  When he had finally gotten to the funeral home just after sundown Giles had told them that not only had it happened again, but that she was just sitting there and not responding to anyone.

Fear and panic gripped her mind with an iron fist.  No matter what Cordy had to stay with Buffy, she didn’t know why all she knew that it was important.  Shaking her head Cordelia tried to think of a good argument for staying, knowing that it wouldn’t do any good, the funeral director would just call the cops and they would drag her out. The seer finally nodded her head in acquiescence and stood up to leave with the others, a plan already forming in her mind, this time she didn’t miss the troubled glances the others threw at her.

Cordy had told everyone that she was going back to her mother’s place for some rest just to alleviate their concern, but what she had actually done was drive around the block about fifty times waiting for everyone to leave so she could sneak back in.  The urge to stay as close to Buffy’s body as was humanly possible was so strong that she didn’t even stop to question it, of course she had learned to do a lot of things without question lately.

As headlights suddenly cut through the darkness the brunette crouched as close to the ground as she could get without actually lying down.  She waited several minutes after the car had passed before she could muster the courage to make her legs obey her again and finish making her way to the back of the building.  There was a small window in the bathroom that she had unlocked when she excused herself for a moment before she and the others had left for the night.  When she had spotted the it Cordy knew that it was probably going to be the easiest way back into the building, so she had unlocked the window and silently prayed that no one would check it before they closed the place down for he night.

Cordelia resumed her trek around the building trying to watch where she was going while at the same time looking of the window that would get her back in.  When she finally spotted the window Cordy nearly screamed in frustration.  The window had looked perfect from the inside, but from out here it was too far above her head for her to be able to get to it without something to stand on.  Muttering ‘why me’ over and over to herself, she went in search of something to stand on, hoping that her luck would hold out and no one would see her.

As Cordy climbed through the small window after dragging a trash can from the rear of the building and nearly breaking her neck when she lost her balance.  She had managed to catch the windowsill but had almost had a heart attach at the noise the thing had made when is crashed to the ground.

She was finally in the building.  She must be nuts. She had to be out of her mind. She just knew that the men in white coats would be coming for her at any moment to give her a dose of her medication, because she just couldn’t be wandering around a mortuary.  Cody had gone directly to the last place she had seen Buffy, only to find the room empty.  Of course she should have known that they didn’t just leave bodies lying around all night, but it just hadn’t crossed her mind.

And now she was poking around, in a place she really didn’t want to be in broad daylight, in the middle of the night.  She had opened doors and peeked in closets with no idea whatsoever of where they kept people when the families weren’t viewing them.  She found what she was looking for behind an unmarked door in one of the back offices.

The plain door led down a narrow set of steps to a sub-basement.  Flipping the light switch just inside the doorway, Cordy hesitated only a second before starting down.  The room at the bottom was a cramped cluttered space filled with stainless steel tales and a lot of machines that the seer didn’t even want to begin to guess what they were for.  On the far wall was a bank of small square doors in rows five across and four high with small green tags attached to some of them.

Cordy didn’t realize she was shaking until she had cautiously made her way over to the doors and reached for one of the tags and saw the tremor in her hand.  Rubbing her hands together, she tried to get the shaking under control.  When she reached out again her hands were a little steadier, but not by much.  The first three tags she looked at were people she didn’t know, the forth was someone she vaguely remembered from high school.  It wasn’t until she turned over the fifth tag that Cordy found the one she was looking for.

Summers, B. Female. That was all it said.  Cordy blinked back fresh tears, they hadn’t even put her entire name on it.  She angrily swiped at her eyes, determined not break down again.  She placed her hand against the cold unforgiving metal for a moment before turning away and searching for a chair, she didn’t want to spend the night sitting on the bare floor.  There was no telling what all was on that floor.

All she could find was a stool, but at least it was padded.  She pulled it over to the wall and sat it directly under Buffy.  Cordy sat down and leaned back against the wall-o-bodies as she had come to think of it, and rested her head against the slayer’s door.

Suddenly hands were everywhere, gross slimey hands with skin dripping off and pus leaking all over the place.  They were coming out of the walls, the floor and the little doors behind her.  Cordy tried t scream but one of the hands was covering her mouth.  She tried to run but they were holding her down.  And then she heard it.  The hands were calling her name.  She knew she should have run when she had the chance, just told TPTB to get stuffed and just headed for the hills.  But no, she had listened to that annoying little voice and had come to get Buffy back and now she was going to be torn to pieces by these oozing hands.

And then she blinked and they were gone.  In their place was a very concerned, frowning vampire shaking her and shouting her name.  Cordy looked around so quickly she thought her head was going to spin off, but no hands.  She sighed and took a deep breath to clear away the nightmare and then slapped Angel’s hands where they were still gripping her shoulders.

“Angel what are you doing here?”  She whispered loudly enough that it was almost not a whisper anymore.

The souled vampire stared at her for moment as her question sunk in.  “I was going to ask you the same thing.  Did you sleep here all night?”

“All night? What time is it? Oh my god I can’t believe I actually feel asleep in here.  I was supposed to be guarding her and I feel asleep.  What is someone had come in here and tried to do something and I wouldn’t have been able to stop them because I was out cold.”  Cordy’s voice rose with each word and by the time she had finished she was nearly screaming, cursing herself for what could have happened.

Angel grabbed the seer again when her rant seemed to be going over the edge.  He was going to slap her, figuring she was hysterical and that was what you did to hysterical people, but the glare her got when he drew back his hand was enough to stop him cold.  He wisely lowered his hand quickly and answered her questions.

“It’s almost five am.  We only have about thirty minutes before the sunrises so we need to get out of here before people start getting here.  No one was going to get in here last light, because I was watching outside all night to make sure no one tried.  I only came in because I won’t get to go to the funeral, I just wanted to say goodbye one more time.”  Where Cordy had gotten louder as she went along with her tirade, Angel’s voice softened until she could barely hear him when he finished.

Cordelia nodded her understanding.  The funeral had to be held in the middle of the afternoon and her boss’s tendency to burst into flames at that time of day made it difficult for him to make it.  The funeral home had been willing to schedule the viewing for late in the afternoon and into the evening, but no one that had lived in Sunnydale wanted to be anywhere near the cemeteries after dark.

“I guess I’ll see you back in LA then.”  Cordy knew that she couldn’t hang around after the funeral, even if she wanted to, she was going to be pretty busy.

“It’ll be a few days.” Angel told her softly, going to look at the tags on the doors, just as Cordy had done earlier.  “I want to hang around for a few days and make sure that Dawn is OK and that no one tries to do anything to her grave.”

Cordelia nodded, even though Angel’s back was to her now and he couldn’t see her.  There were lots of demons running around Sunnydale that knew Buffy was the Slayer.  Some of them might have ideas about taking revenge in her body, now that she herself was out of their reach.  Even though she was going to be one of the people he was going to protect the Slayer’s final resting place from, she hoped that if everything went right then he would forgive her.  If things didn’t go right, then she didn’t know if she would be able to forgive herself.  Cordy took a quick step forward and grabbed Angel’s shoulder giving it a slight squeeze before she turned and fled, not wanting him to see the tears in her eyes.

The one thing she hadn’t really counted on was the sheer number of people.  Nearly everyone that was still alive, and human, from their graduating class had shown up.  There were people that Cordy had never seen, and while she figured that some of them were family or friends of the family, most had to be people that Buffy had touched in some way.  Young and old, black white and yellow, they were the people she had protected, that wouldn’t be there if it hadn’t been for her.  She thought that Buffy would have happy to know that that many people knew she had made a difference in this world and they had come to say thank you.

Cordelia was actually very proud of herself.  Although she couldn’t see through the entire service due to the tears streaming down her face, she didn’t pass out again.  Even though she had felt faint most of the time and her head felt like it was exploding every two seconds, Cordy had managed to stay upright and conscious.

After what seemed like years but was more like a half hour, the priest concluded the service and most of the mourners began to drift back to their cars.  With only the Scooby gang left they pulled even closer together taking comfort in each other.  Once again Willow pulled Cordy in when she would have hung back.  The support she had received from the Wiccan made her cry even harder.  The smaller girl had put all their past differences aside to make her feel like she was a part of the group again, and she would never know how to thank her for that.

Even the Scoobs couldn’t stay at the gravesite forever, and soon they too left the cemetery leaving only Cordy standing a silent vigil.   Willow had asked her to come back to the house with them, but she had used a string of excuses to avoid it, she had to get the rental car back, she didn’t like leaving the ghost alone for too long, she thought she might have left something on.  She had finally told her that she just needed to be alone for awhile, just so she wouldn’t see the hurt look on the other girl’s face.  And now she was alone.  Alone with an open grave and a casket.

Cordelia scanned the graveyard checking to make sure that she really was alone.  She waited a few minutes, and then she waited a few more. She would never have a better opportunity than right now, with the coffin still above ground and the cemetery deserted but she couldn’t seem to move. She knew she was stalling and she had to stop now.  Giving herself a hard mental kick in the ass, Cordy turned away from the grave and forced herself to walk back to her car even though she felt like running.

Trying to keep an eye out for anyone that might question or arrest her, Cordy wove her way through the headstones with the rental car.  She knew she wouldn’t be able to drag Buffy’s body all the way back to the car and pulling up to the grave seemed to be a good idea.  Until she actually tried it.  Trying to maneuver around the heavy stone markers was a lot more difficult than she had thought it would be and she was afraid it was taking to long and someone was going to see her.

By the time she pulled up next to Buffy’s casket, her heart was trying to jump out of her throat and she was jumping at shadows.   Not bothering to turn the car off, Cordy threw it into park and pulled the trunk release handle.  Jumping out and running to the back stealth was the farthest thing from her mind, it had taken too long to get over there and she was running out of time.  Grabbing a blanket out of the trunk she threw it on the ground next to the coffin and knelt down next to it.

Cordy pulled on the top trying to open it, but it wouldn’t budge.  Leaning closer she tried to find what was holding it shut but couldn’t see anything.  It wasn’t until she ran her hand under the lip that she found the latch.  Cordelia flipped the catch up and could see the lid opening this time as she pulled on it.  For some reason the urge to laugh was so strong she had to put it back down in order to get herself under control.

When she felt like she could open the casket without going into hysterical giggle fits, Cordy reached for the lid again.  Just as she was lifting the lid again her world came to crashing halt and her heart stopped beating.  Someone had just put their hand on her shoulder.  She was busted.

TBC