My Dream will one day become a reality
again. It is purely to be able to do the things that once in life I
took advantage of.
Wedding Day 12/26/00
This is the fist goal I will have to get back to where I was when I married my husband.
My Dreams:
1. To go shopping at Fredrick's Of Hollywood and buy something with
lace and cut outs. The lace to look pretty not to just cover up the
rolls of fat!
2. To drive my car and not rub the steering wheel on my stomach.
3. Play in the back yard with my grandchildren.
4. I want to go to an amusment park or anywhere for that matter, without worring if I will be hurting later.
5. I want to wear a mini skirt with thigh highs (Hubby's dream but he deserves it *Smile*)
6. To go dancing and not get tired after one song.
7. To sit in a chair and not worry if I will break it.
8. To go swimming in public without worring if I am grossing someone out.
9. To do things with my husband I have never been able to do before *Wink*.
10.To get my driver's licence picture changed!!!
11.To walk around and have people stare at me, because I look good,and not because I am fat.
12.To wear strappy sandals and not have my feet look like Im going to break my ankle AGAIN!
13.To sit in the bath tub and not have to pull myself up by the handles for handicaps or turn over to my knees.
14.To have a family portrait taken and know it will be treasured.
15.Just to walk down the stairs without having to hold onto both handrails,
16.To be able to go shopping bring groceries in and not have to lay down afterwards.
17.To take a trip to the Civic Center knowing it want matter if there
is a handicap parking place open and may have to walk only 3 blocks.
18.To hold my husbands hand while walking in the woods,
19.To get up in the morning being able to go up and down the stairs without worrying if I will hurt from it that night
20.To get up in the morning being able to go up and down the stairs from the stiffness.
There are so many thing that are like a dream at this time but can easily become reality if I were to only loose the weight.
TO BE CONTINUED
I know there are so many things I have wanted and cant think of them right now...LOL.
My Plan to make this dream come true:
Tuesday January 4th 2005
I have made a concience decision to have surgery since no matter how many attempts at weight loose I have had, has failed.
Januray 4,2005
1.)I logged onto Obesity Help to start a profile and learn more about what all is involved in surgery itself.
2.)The sites I have been reading about this surgery is Obesity Surgery Specialists Website This has alot of information other than the great information I have found here onObesty Help
Jan. 5th, 2005
1.)After reading all the contridicting stories here from so many
different insurance companies My first step is to contact mine which is
Blue Cross Blue Shield Of Alabama PPO Where I found out my fist step is to get a letter of referral from my Primary Care Physican.
2.)I know that to get the letter of refferal from my PCP and my BMI
Being not as high as most I will have to prove why I need this sugury
so badly.
a.)Find and Contact a Orthopedic Speciallist for my back and legs. The
first appointment is set for January 19th with Dr. Morris at Medical
Center East in Birmingham Ala.
b.)Get Records of what diets I have tried and failed. So the PCP will know this was NOT my first alternative for weight lose.
Jan. 6th, 2005
Read and research more includind webmd.com and sevearl Physicians website for there views of the surgery.
1.)Cahaba Vally Surgical Group Alabaster, Alabama
2.)Dr Freeman & Company in Anniston, Alabama
3.) Edward Craig Facundus, M.D., F.A.C.S. Huntsville, Alabama
Janurary 11, 2005
Went to Dr. Vitkin's Office (I had a visit with Dr Vitkin office back
in August for Lab work and went back in Septeber for Meds, The meds
didnt work... maybe because I was on them for so long in the past. But
didnt go back because the meds were not working.) for a weigh in today.
I called and ask to see the doctor again for only "medically supervised
weight lose" They said there would NOT be a fee. All I have to do is
come for weigh ins only. Im not sure if this will back me up for 4
months of "Medically Supervised Weight Lose"or if it is like I am
starting over but regaurdless I will NOT have to be paying the $155.00
fee every other month that I thought I would. I'm seriously hoping this
will be dated at the time I started In August instead of this month. Im
really thinking it might since I was down some since the first date. (I
will update this part when I find out what they say about the time.
I
also called my old GYN's office (Dr. Cherote moved to Ga. since I last
seen her in December 2003. To see if my records remained at there
office or if she took them with her. She is the one that diagnosed me
with Stress Urinary Incontinence. They said the records are still there
and all I have to do is come by and sign a release, which I will do
Thursday January 13th when I visit Medical Center East for the WLS
seminar.
Finally last I went to Inches-A-Way and got proof of
the time I went to the salon. The reason I had to stop was because of
my lower back problems (a couple of times I could NOT even walk while
there and exercising.). It was only 2 months but given the back
problems there was no way I could continue to go. But I can tell you
this for anyone having trouble with being able to go to the gym
Inches-A-Way is best of all others I have research if you have problems
with cardio or immobilities. I will be going back routinly once my back
is able!
January 12,2005 Found out that "Medically Supervised Diet" Does Not
mean just going to Dr. Vitkin's Office to have the weigh ins. I will
have to go to a doctor monthly for a weigh in then have a disscussion
of what I have been doing him making suggestions on what else may help
then documentation of what exercise I have had and what else I may need
to try if that has NOT been working or why I have not been able to do
what I am suppose to be doing now.
Went to see my PCP today about the chest pains, urinary leakage, headaches, "Medically Supervised Diet" and to stop smoking.
I was diagnosed with
1.) Urinary Stress Incontinences
2.)Palpatations
3.) Hyperlipidemia
4.) Gerd
5.)Headaches
Last BUT NOT LEAST this was my first "Medically Supervised Diet" visits
5 to go. It will be April 1st before I can apply and if deamed
neccesary I will only have 4 months from them to be ready. I really
want this before around October so I can have the worst over and be
able to celebrate with my family without worrying about have to be down.
Janurary 19, 2005
Went to see Dr. Morris today at Medical Center East. Dr. Morris is a Orthopedic Speciallist. My Chief complaints are:
1.) Stiffness in left knee and it feeling as if it is catching when I go to bend it.
2.) Right ankle hurting, burning and feeling as if there is no cushion in it. 3.)Knumb big toe.
4.)Knubness in top of ankle across the top and feeling as though there are ants biting it.
5.) Pain in the side incision at times.
6. Lower back aches and stiffness.
His diagnosis:
1.) I have artheritis in the ankle and knee
2.)Bone spur on the inside of the ankle and artheritus.
3.)He is not sure about the knubness yet. If could be a nerve in the
back causing this problem or a nerve in the foot causing the back
problems. I have to go back tommorrow for a nerve study.
4.) He discussed doing a block in the back because there are nerves in the spinal cord.
5.)
Dr. Morris also said it is partically due to the weight that I am
having so many problems with my joints. This weight is wearing on the
joints.
Have appointed Date on January 24th at 1:00 p.m. Dr. Kim Schmitt office
with at Medical Center East for Sleep Study... I hope this will some
way help me with NOT
getting enough rest at night. It is all I can do to stay awake with
Cameron on some days much less feeling like playing with him.
January 20th 2005
Well... found out what a "Nerve Study" is today on the back and leg....
I could have went without knowing... Dont think I have said this before
but I HATE NEEDLES...lol.
The only thing good that come from this knew knowlegde is that I do NOT have nerve damage to my lower back or leg.
I have another appointment with Dr. Morris on Tuesday morning ( 1/25/05 ) to find out what all this means.
As soon as I know I will be adding to update.
January 24, 2005
Had my consult with Dr. Kim Schmitt, M.D.
Before looking at my files she had already recommended a sleep study
due to such a small narrow passage in the back of my throat.
A Split Sleep Study has been set up at Medical Center East for March 9th, 2005
January 25, 2005
Went back to see Dr. Morris today and he said the nerve study in my back an leg went well, I have not nerve damage in either.
He wanted to give me the shoot in the knee and ankle for the artharitis and I said NO.
The lower back pains are due to my over-hang of my stomach pulling on
the lower back muscles. It is like putting a sand bag around your lower
back and allowing it to hang to the pub area and walking around
throught the day.
he ask that I make a 3 month appointment for a recheck.
January 27, 2005
Medical Center East Called Sleep Study called today. They want to move my study up nearly a month early. Instead of March 9, 2005 I will now be having in Febuary 11, 2005.
Febuary 12, 2005
Went to Medical Center East for my sleep study last night. I had Brain as my aid. He was wonderful and explained everything! I remember waking up 3 times and having trouble falling back asleep one time but Brain said I done really well with NO EPISODES. (br) I ask him if I was snoring like my husband said and he said "OH Yea!"...lol Poor hubby (at least I know he hears what I hear at night with himself...hehe
I also ask about my legs kicking (Hubby had complained about me beating him up in the night) He said I did have a lot of leg movement.
It will be next week before I go back to see Dr. Kim Schmitt to see what her diagnosis is if it is NOT apnea.
Febuary 16. 2005
Went to see Dr. Kinnebrew today he put me on the Welbuteran Sr (generic form so insurance will cover it) for the depression. He also set up an CXT (Cardio Stress Test) at Dr. Fosters office at Medical Center East for tommorrow at 7:45 am. His other diagnosis is Fatigue and he talked about sending me to have my gastrointestinal testes. But wants to see how the heart test goes first.
Febuary 17, 2005
Went for the first half of the stress test on the heart. I will make the 2nd half next Wednesday. They said from there it will take a couple of days for the results to be in. Then to send them to my PCP and him give me the results.
While at Medical Center East today I stopped by Dr. Kim Schmitts office to see why I have not heard back from the sleep study there was no reason why but it did get me a call back this afternoon.
Good News
Tammy from from Dr. Schmitt
Only Mild Sleep Apnea RDI of 4.4(Dr. Schmitt said she will send a release for the WLS.
Bad News....
I do have RLS (Restless Leg Syndrome) (no wonder my husband has called me and said "Honey you beat the Sh*t out of me again last night"...LOL. that is one way to innocently teach him a lesson for snoring in my ear all night...lmbo.) which they said they will be calling me medicine in (mirapex it is a drug for Parkinson's disease) for that it may not be strong enough but to just call and they will adjust.
Febuary 19, 2005
I got a call from the Cardiac doctors office. They said that things went so well with the first images I will not have to make the second part. They also said that is very rare.
This really is a blessing considering my dad's family history and heart disease
The Mirapex for the Restless leg syndrom has been keeping me awake at night. I system is really funny. Downers would give me energy and diet pills I could sleep on. Go figure. But they prescrribed Calozapin. It has helped some but not a lot either. I have not called because I dont want to bug them.
March 16th
Well
today was my 3rd month of my "Physician Supervised Weight Loss" Im at
the half way mark, I was diagnoised with Acute Broncitis today (I dont
know why I can going get rid of this) It is all down here from here
besides getting the approval fron BC/BS and I know that is like pulling
teeth.
I plan to make a date with a dietician soon. I really think that my help my cause with the insurance.
April 12, 2005
Had my first visit at Dr. Freemans Office. I know that is the surgeon I
will be using now. I liked everyone in his staff. They seem as though
they are like one family.
I
also like the idea of having a Dr. that had been were I am now. It is
easy to read a book and tell someone what to do but you need to walk a
mile in someone elses shoes to actually know what is going one and Dr.
Freeman has been there with Surgery himself.
While Visiting today I found out a few things about myself and they were:
1.) I did have the Helicobacter pylori bacteria.(Infection with
Helicobacter pylori, a type of bacteria, is a major cause of stomach
(peptic) and upper small intestine (duodenal) ulcers. It may also
increase the risk of developing stomach cancer)
I will start the Antibiotics tonight.
2.) I also have a enlarged fatty liver 10.4
They said one month before surgery to start the NO salt NO sugar.
3.)They Physc visit was ok as well he said I was recommended but with Depression.
But
all is a go. I also had some really goss picutes taken (naked) of my
tummy and the girls there said the hang was a grade three and after
being able to see what it looks like in a photograph it is a lot worse
than I first though.
So maybe I will have not problems with the
insurance, along with depression, and they said the sleep apnea with
being over BMI of 35 for the past 3 year (acutally it has been over 5
years now and off an own since i was 20) But today I was a 42.1 with a
43% fat. So maybe it will push though insurance office.
Say a prayer that this will not delay.
Angel Hugs Tegan Angel!
April 23, 2005
I
know this does NOT really pertain to the WLS surgery but I want to the
optimologist today and got some rather depressing news. I have what is
called Macular degeneration
Macular degeneration Macular
degeneration is the leading cause of severe vision loss in people over
age 60, (I am 40 go figure) and can be slowed down with appropriate
treatment. Macular degeneration occurs when the small central portion
of the retina, known as the macula, is damaged. The retina is the
light-sensing nerve tissue at the back of the eye. Because the disease
develops as a person ages, it is often referred to as age-related
macular degeneration (AMD).
There is currently no cure for macular degeneration,
April 26th 2005
Had 2 doctor appointments today. One was with a pullmanary specialist and the other was the Ortho. Neither had good news!
Pullmanary wants me to have a PFT test next week he said my lungs
looked good on the X-ray but later when I read the reciept it said
Diognosis: Chronic Obstructive Lung Disease.
Then I went to see the Ortho and he said that he wants me to
see another doctor next week about being a candate for a nerve block. I
dont know if this is something I will follow thru with.
I have known
too many people that had more trouble with there back when procedurs
like this got started than they did before. I will go and talk to the
doctor but as I said this is something I am NOT sure about.
the worst part of this month is the Adema my legs are indenting over an
inch for the last week and that is with me taking the blood
pressure/water pills twice a day (Im only suppose to be taking one)
I will update again next week when I get back with the test.
Until then Angel Hugs Tegan Angel
April 28th 2005
Well I done a no no today I took 4 water/blood pressure pills,
I could NOT take it anymore
But as a result I lost 18 pounds within that legnth of time my calf went from 22 to 18 inches that 24 hours.
Now
I guess I know why the scales keep going up and up. Not to mention why
I feel like shit all the time with my back and legs killing me.
May 2, 2005
I went to take the PFT's (Pulmonary
Function Test) Yesterday and the they said my lungs were NOT near as
bad as originally thought. I do have a small obstruction but I will
only have to use a puffer once in the morning and they also diagnosed
me with Asthma and Bronchitis (I have had bronchitis since october and
it is really getting on my nerves now) But the good news is after
tomorrow (I go to court with my ex he wants custody of my son that is
turning 19 in 5 weeks...lol. The truth be told he wants to stop the
garnishments that I have on him for for the $16,000 that was already
reduced to 10,000 during last time we went to court, (Litigations) in
arrearages if he would tell the truth. What he don't know is I also have a judgment against his house
I have only 2 more doctor appointments and on is with the GYN next week
when I have waited over 5 months to get an appointment with this
particular Doctor,
Then I will go back to the ortho on
Wednesday to tell him I am NOT going to do the nerve block in the back
and see if there is anything else he wants me to so.
I will see
my PCP again in the middle of the month and then one month later see
him again and then we can submit to the insurance company.
May 3rd, 2005
I am taking the H Pylori test again today (YUCK!) Hopefully it is gone so I want have to take all the meds again.
Good News!! The H Pylori this came back NEGATIVE!
May 9th 2005,
I have been so depressed lately. I am
just crying all the time! I am not one to let life get to me too
easily. I have always had a built in switch in my head and heart to
turn my emotions off to protect myself.
These days it is so hard
or either there is too many I can do much more than cry several times
on a daily bases. Im taking the Welbuterin SR twice a day I should be
better I dont know what it is.
br. But I just got back from the
cemetary looking at all the flowers placed there fore Memorial Day and
Now I am waiting on my daughter and other 2 Grandchildren to get here.
It will be a blessing to have them all here even though itis hectic. I
have missed Devin(my grandson that my sister adopted 18 months old)
more than I though while holding him last night as he was sleeping I
just wanted to crying knowing that sweet little soul was NO long near
for me to hug and kiss and say I love You Too. I his grandmother is
like a stranger to him these day. This makes me cry as well! Ok enough
of the wheepy whinnys Im sorry to vent here but I dont think others
here would understand. Please pray that I will emotionally feel better
soon. Angel Hugs Kim
May 11th, 2005
Ok you name it anywhere there was something sutck there today!..lol. I
had the pap, rectal, 6 different lab test. Then we went on for the fun
stuff the mammogram, She also made me an appointment for the
incontinence center next week to see if surgery will be needed.
The best news she was able to give me is... During my exam she was
checking to see how the skin looked under the fold of my stomach at
which times she picked it up and squshed it together and preceeded to
tell me "You Know if you had a pannilectomy you would loose about 50lbs
here." That was great news to my ears believe it or not. If I am denied
for WLS I will go for the appoval on the panni. Then if that is denied
will pay for the WLS and then I know I will qualify for the TT.
I will let you know when I get all the results back!
Either way I see some relief in site for my back!
A Little Update on the UPDATE ABOVE... GRRRR!
Had a lot of doctor appointments the last 2 weeks and looks like a lot
more next week. I got a new GYN on the 11th (took 5 months to get an
appointment with her but she has a wonderful reputations.) She sent me
for the breat chamber then done so many works on me I dont know what
they all are. But she also scheduled me an appointment for tuesday to
have an incontinence test to see about surgery. Then on the 12th I went
back to the ortho and he once again told me I really needed the spinal
block... I told him I was a chicken shit...lol. Then he informed me
that I would NEVER know what they done that I would have an IV that
would knock my memory out. So I am going for it. Which meant I had to
have a MRI so they scheduled it for yesturday afternoon I got there and
I could NOT fit in the machine. I was pissed! They knew I was am
working on WLS. They know my back hurts because my stomach is so big
and they sent me somewhere they have a small tunnel.... @!%*#
So I got up this morning found an open MRI and called the doctors office and told them where to make my appoinment!
I will be on my 5th appointment monday of my 6 months. I will be so
happy to hear one way or another about an approval or denial. I am not
sure yet but if they deny me I am going ahead and try for the
pannalectomy first. So I can see just how much releif my back can have
so maybe I can exercise and lose some weight on my own. But we all know
if we lose it we will eventually find it again. That is the really
frustrating part!
Tuesday is the incontence thingy. Which I have a problem I need a
"comfotably full bladder" for that (my check in is at 7am) Then the
outpatient sugury is the same day if that is a am appointment I cant
eat after midnight. If it is a PM appoint nothing after 7am I just hope
I can keep the 2 apart like I should so I will get them over. I am also
going to ask while they have me on the table with the back if they will
give the cotizone shots in my ankles knees (He keeps wanting to do them
but I am a chicken shit there as well...lol.
May 16th, 2005
5th of the 6 appointments required by BC/BS I did loose a couple of
pounds but not much I think It would have been more but my monthly
friend was visiting so that made me weigh a pound or 2 more. Besides
that all went good we talked about the exercise diet and eating habits
that was about today.
May, 17 2005
Big Day... I just didn't know how big of a deal it was for me!
8:30 Am went to the Incontinence Center at Medical Center East. The
nurse that proformed the test was great. The test was not fun but she
made it a lot easier as she explained everything!!!
In the end she said the Urologist will look over them and probley
recommend a surgical tack. But she also said if I was planning WLS I
may want to wait because it is very possible this embarrasing problem
will go away!
Next... Last But Sure NOT Least
10:30 I showed up at the Out Patient Services (I was an hour early but made NO sence to go home then come straight back).
At
which time the called me straight back and then they did go ahead and
put me in a room. The I.V. nurse can in fairly fast even though she did
blow my first vein I was not mad and I really did like her I even felt
a little sorry for her because she was so upset. As she started to
leave she told me the anesthesiolgist would be in soon. Which after
about an hour he did and I discussed with him (Hunt, R. Stillwell,
M.D.) about how much anxiety I have with the epidual at which time he
told me that would not be a problem he would see to it that I was ok
(yea right.. He was NOT EVEN IN THE O.R.)But then I was to wait on the
surgeon so I had To wait and wait and wait. Finally at a little after
3pm. they took me to O.R. once again I explined to the surgeon as I did
the Dr.Scott Morris (Orthopaedics that recomended Berke, Matthew D.,
M.D. Physical Medicine & Rehabilitation)and Hunt, R. Stillwell,
M.D. (the anithesiologist that promise he would take care of the
aniexty and that I would not know what was going on) The same that
That I dissapproved so much of the epidual during my 17 hour labor with
my daughter I choose to do with out one because I didnt like the idea
and I was scared shitless of them! That the only reason I was there is
because Dr. Morris was so sure it would help my back and he said I
would be given medication to make me NOT remember anything! Once again
I was told by Dr. Mattew Burke that it was NOT a problem and that I
would have a twighligh which would make me not know what was going on. BULL SHIT!I
never knew I was given anything besides me watching them with the
surynge place the medicine in the I.V. I was so mad as I was leaving
the O.R. I was crying I was lied to not once but 3 time
by these doctors granted Dr. Morris was NOT in the room so he could NOT
contol anything about it. But neither was Dr Hunt. He had a Nurse
Anthisa there she was given instrutions by him of what to do. If he had
been there thiings may have been diffent and I would not have been
totally awake the duration but he was NOT and I will be sure to let
BC/BS know there should NOT be a billed for the Dr. Hunt because he was
NOT in O.R. During Sugery only his nurse. This here will make me choose
my own anithesiologist from this point on. I don't know why we don't
interview them as well as a surgeon anyway. They have our lives in
control as much as the Dr preforming the surgury himself!
I did have the headache and my back is sore. Besides that all was fine
I also found out I have Degenerative disc disease L4 L5
that is why my back hurts me continuously so I can not walk or stand
for more than 5-10 without sitting down or even pulling myself in the
fetal position.
May 18th.... to make a long story short I don't
think I will be using doctor Berke again either I didnt like his
responce when I called them morning and he upheald the good doctors
Hunt and lied saying I was asleep. There is a spine Clinic at Medical
Center East (which is NOT in with my group of ortho but I have had a
high recomendation of them I will be using for my back from now on!)
May 18th
More
bad news I'm ready to just cry for a week. I have not got the results
back from My GYN yet but they did call today and let me know I needed
to go back for more images of the Mammagram. They said there was and
Irregulatity in the upper outer left breat. If anyone knows anything
about what this means please let me know if NOT I will post when I get
more info on this subject.
I sit here and think about what a
big baby I am crying all the time and then...I still think a lot of it
is justified with all the wonderful news. Make me just want to give up
on living! I would love to go to my room and never come out again! I
just wish everyone would leave me alone (If I am not bothering them
then they should NOT bother me!) & everything was all over and if
this is all life has to offer I really dont want to be here much longer
except for my loved one and I could not do this to them! I feel as
though the more I try to accomplish the more bad news I get. What is it
all worth when you keep taking one step forward and 3 steps back and I
dont nessacerally mean the WLS.
May 19th 2005,
Well got a call from the GYN today once again and this time it was
about some of the lab work, (they have still not recieved the Pap smear
or Uroligy report back yet)
This time is was to let me know there
was a problem with my Tyroid. She said it was 7.59 which sound high to
me but she said with the other numbers that it was rather low.
She plans to send the report to my PCP tommorrow and let him handle it.
May 21,2005
Got
the report from the PCP on my thryroid I was wrong I do NOT have
hyperthyriodism it is hypothyroidism I thought with high number of the
TSH that it was hyper. I knew I had some symtoms (bitchy, whinny,
depression, ect. ect. ect)but I did not have the weight loss well when
I got the call they said it was not hyper it is hypo
The nurse
said that the doctor wanted to see me a month from the last test to
retest see what the numbers was and if they came back the same that I
may not need WLS. I told her that if I do not have the WLS I will still
have the pannelectomy,bladder tack, Back surgery, and anything else it
takes to get me back on my feet with my family!
I do plan to go back to have more images of my left breat next
week, I just needed time for all this to sink in some before going back
again.
UPDATE HERE
UPDATE HERE
UPDATE HERE
UPDATE HERE
For more information on my journal you can follow this path
 
  
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