KINABUKASAN SOCIETY

Towards Unity and Service

Want to Feel Smarter?

     Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
     Answer: "I would not live forever, because
     we should not live forever, because if we were
     supposed to live forever, then we would live forever,
     but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not
     live forever."--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA
contest.

     "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving
     kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean
     I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those
     flies and death and stuff," -- Mariah Carey



     "I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to
     comply with the law."--  David Dinkins, New York City
     Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay
     his taxes.



     "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
     important part of your  life." -- Brooke Shields,
     during an interview to become spokesperson for a
     federal antismoking campaign.



  "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
  --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball
forward.



  "Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates
in the country." -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.



  "We're going to turn this team around 360
degrees."--Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks.


  "That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass,
and I'm  just the one to do it." -- A congressional candidate in Texas.



  "I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from
them. There  were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the
Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
-- John Wayne



     "Half this game is ninety percent mental."
      --Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark



     "If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and
     butter will be cut right out from under your feet."
     -- Former British foreign minister, Ernest Bevin.



     "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much
     clean air do we need?"--Lee  Iacocca



     "I was provided with additional input that was
     radically different from the truth. I assisted in
     furthering that version." --Colonel Oliver  North, from his Iran-Contratestimony.



     "The word "genius" isn't applicable in football.  A
     genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman,
                          NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.



     "We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply
     exclude certain types of people."--Colonel Gerald Wellman,         ROTC Instructor.



     "Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come
     from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery



     "The loss of life will be irreplaceable."--Dan Quayle



     "I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the
     only regret I have is that I didn't study my Latin
     harder in school so I could converse with those
     people." --Dan Quayle VP



     "It is wonderful to be here in the great state of
     Chicago. --Dan Quayle, VP



     "Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state.  It is
     a state that is by itself.  It is different from the
     other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but
     it's got a particularly unique situation."--Dan Quayle, VP



     "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992
     because we received notice that you passed away. May
     God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change
     in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services,
     Greenville, South Carolina



    "We apologize for the error in last week's paper in
     which we stated that Mr.  Arnold Dogbody was a
     defective in the police force. We meant, of course,
     that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."
     --Correction Notice in the  Ely Standard, a British newspaper


     "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this
     jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor
     their heart throughout the night. And the next
     morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a
     record."--Mark S. Fowler, FCC  Chairman

Contributed by: Douglas Mayor

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