Betty and Jack up a tree
F-u-c-k-i-n-g
First comes Betty, then comes Jack
Then comes the goo out of Betty's crack

Dittle dittle the cat and the fiddle
The cow jumped over the moon
That's more than my lazy wife does
That fat fucking smelly baboon

Doe, a deer, a female deer
Ray, the guy that fucked her ass

Eenie, meenie, miney, moe
Suck my dick and swallow slow

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie
Jerked off in his girlfriend's eye
When her eye was dry and shut
Georgie fucked that one eyed slut

Hickory dickory dock
Some chick was sucking my cock
The clock struck two I dropped my goo
I dumped the bitch on the next block

Hickory dickory dock
My balls fell out of my jock
I laid them to rest on some hooker's chest
And paddled her face with my cock

Hickory dickory dock
She took a good look at your cock
It's really scary, old wrinkled and hairy
It smells like a ten year old sock

Itsy Bitsy Spider living in my crotch
Every time he takes a bite there's another big red blotch

Jack and Jill went up the hill
Both with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two-fifty
That fucking whore

Jack and Jill went up the hill
And Jack would try to hump her
Jill said "No", Jack said "So"
"I'll ram it in your dumper"

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack burned off his fucking dick

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
So Jack ignored her flabby tits
And licked her asshole clean

Little Bo Beep fucked a sheep
Blew a horse, licked his feet
She ate his ass so very nice
Tongued his balls not once but twice

Little Boy Blue - he needed the money

Little Jack Horner sat in a corner
Eating a pizza pie
He shit pepperoni, blew his friend Tony
And wiped his mouth on his tie

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider, he sat down beside her
He said "Hey, what's in the bowl bitch"

Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet
A lightbulb was stuck up her ass
It woke up the spider who lived deep inside her
He said "Hey, free electric and gas"

Mary, Mary quite contrary
Trim that pussy it's so damn hairy

Mary, Mary shaved her cunt
Now it looks like Allen Funt

Mary had a little lamb
She kept in her backyard
When she took her panties off
His woolly dick got hard

Mary knew a little man whose prick was very thin
Every time he fucked her, she would ask him "Is it in?"

Old King Cole was a merry old soul
A merry old soul was he
He chewed off his tit, ate his own shit
Washed it down with some tea

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
To get her dog a bone
She bent over, Rover took over
She got a bone of her own

Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
To get her old dog a snack
The cupboard was bare, she didn't despair
She let Rover munch on her crack

Patty cake, patty cake bakers man
If your chicks on her period, fuck her in the can

Peter Peter pumpkin eater
Had a wife, loved to beat her
Smacked her twice across the head
Fucked her ass and went to bed

Peter Peter pupkin eater
Whacked off in the movie theater
Sprayed his load across the screen
And ruined Titanic's final scene

Peter Peter pumpkin eater
Knew a chick, but couldn't meet her
Saw her brother one fine day
Sucked his cock and now he's gay

Rock-a-by baby on the tree top
Your mother's a whore I ain't your pop

Roses are red, violets are blue
I'm a schizophrenic and so am I

Roses are red, violets are blue
I fucked your mom in the ass and she had you

Row, row, row your cunt
Gently down my prick
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Then you'll suck my dick

Rub a dub dub, three men in a tub
Faggots have threesomes too, so fucking what

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe
She had so many kids, her uterus fell out

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe
She had so many kids, she didn't know what to do
So she started sucking dick

Three blind mice, see how they run
Where the fuck are they going

Twinkle twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Shine upon the parking lot
As I eat my girlfriend's twat

Twinkle twinkle little star
Will she blow me in the car
Because I bought her dinner, she had fun
Now my balls are boiling and I'd like to cum