When you look up at the night sky and see all the shimmering stars do you reflect on your future? Me... I think about why people live their short, pointless lives. At least in my current mind set I see no reason to think other wise. My job has me working the daily grind of 9am to 5pm. Can we say BORING!? Hell a well trained chimp could probably do my job and do it even BETTER! For all I know a child could probably do my damn worthless job. They might at least enjoy it. My job... taking calls from people who haven't a clue what they are doing and I'm the one who saves them from making a bigger mess out their stupidity. I help those people who are probably too dumb to even know how to work the computer they just messed up. The one perk of having this job is... well shit there isn't one. I do get a great deal of people contact, but I can't say they are very interesting people. Its always a wonder at how the created the problem they did, but thats about it. Plus they are more of a nuisance than interesting. They hover over my shoulder, asking questions and annoying me. Other swear endlessly or cry, sweet God I hate the criers. Sometimes I wish there wasn't like company policy keeping me from injurying a few of them. DAMN THE SYSTEM FOR ALL IT'S RULES! Damn them all. I think I have been suffering from a life long head ache and now feel the need to bitch about it. Or do anything about it for that matter. I can only hope their isn't some corporate guy keeping me from ridden mysel of this head ache of a job. Obviously I'm not thrilled with my job. Last wekk I had to repair a computer almost DESTROYED by its 80 year old owner who decided it was best to beat it with her cane before calling to ahve some one look at it. She wanted it to "be alive", well now its "dieing", slowly mind you. I restored it in about a weeks time, between my other jobs, and returned it to its handycapped owner. Probably only to return to see it broken again soon. Computers have come to be prisoners to me. They are odered around, made to store knowledge, comput what is asked of them, organice, and funcation "normally" as society sees as 'normal'. Computers are prisoners in our society, just as I am a prisoner of my job.
As you can probably guess I haven't much of a personal life anymore. I sort of gave up on the whole idea. Person life... thats an interesting statement. How can some one have a 'personal life' when their life is focused on hell, excuse me I meant work, and how they can funcation in their job. Your life, wiether you want it to or not, revolves aroudn your job. When you have your days off you are DREAEDING going back. If you have a big party and you work the next day all you can think about is "SHIT I have to get up early for work!" You can't date people unless you can coinside with their work schedule long enough to spend time together. If we were to try and talk about my social life I would say its a poor attempt at humor. People assume a computer repair man, or person as my Boss calls me, is one: a man and two: a geek. Unfortunitly I am niether. I have friends outside my field of work and I stray as far as I can from family. Not a geek with a joystick and tons of porn. I hate video games, not a fanatic about Star Wars, and besides the point I have KILLER legs! I'm not a huge fat man, but a slender, sexy woman. I stand 5'8'', slender 130lbs, good muscle tone, as well as a drop dead gorgeous smile, with long, wavy, fire red hair, and green eyes. I don't get many men for not many men find computer repair people to be very.... enjoyable. They think 'freak' with mind blowing volume. Then again I guess I should just keep my mouth shut, like most men seem to like their women now days. I get what I want, Wen I have the guts to try.. Just have to figure out WHAT I want.
However, back to that night sky. People used to always tell me you could see yourself in the sky... does any one really believe it? Me on the other hand.... I just see little dots of gas burning far, far away. Just another dot amongst millions, no billions. Kind of ironic in a way. People always tell you that you are different and no one is like you... how odd that it would be that your just like everyone else, cause you want to be different. I could always be this massive asteroid about it collide with Earth and create mass destruction. (Who ever said you can't dream big?) I have a great deal on confidence, but not always when I need it. Guess thats me for ya. So here I stand outside my small urban loft staring at the stars. I haven't had time lately to even notice they're there. As amazing as it is to stare at balls of gas and ponder over my life, I hadn't really found any new answers to anything. As I turned to go back inside my cozey home I see a dark figure standing at his balcany to the right of mine. Hadn't even noticed him there. Figuring its a him, his build it rather big and probably about 6 feet tall, if not taller. Wonder who it is? Has he been watching me long? What does he find so damn interesting? I can't make out any facial features, but I do find my self wishing I could. Just as I wished for a sight the figured turned his back to me and went inside his dark, almost lonely, loft.
Walking to my brightly lite room I can't help but think of how odd it felt to see who ever it was staring at me. It was like I could feel something when I watched him back. Definitly going to have to ake a little venture over that way some time soon. I stripped down to my Victoria Secret red, satin thong, feeling the light breeze touch my nipples, as I slide on a night tank. A shiver runs up my spine as I climb under the satin sheets. What could have been worth looking at, given I was still in my simple tan jump suit, that was too big, and work boots? (I hadn't felt the need to both changing.) I let my body relax, feeling the stress of work slipping away. Dreams of the dark figure filled my thoughts. Feels of longing and the need, no thr crave, to be touched by him came with, making me wish I could know moan his name....
I awoke the next morning suddenly, having thoughts of the man running his hands all over me. Shakening it off, I went about getting ready for the day ahead. No matter how I tried to push him out of my thoughts. He just stuck around like a bad date. I'm just a sensible and simple woman. I don't have dreams like that! I just don't......right? Is it so wrong to fantacize about a man I know nothing about? To wish he was a man with a chest as strong as his love or his lady, or a body like a Greek God, powerful, built, smooth yet rough, demanding but yielding.... is that so horrible to dream about? Skaking my head of such thoughts I head out the door. I haven't time for day dreaming.
To be continued....
Work was a constent annoyance. Nothing got done. I told my boss that I wasn't feeling well and that performing the job just wasn't getting done. He noticed, as well as understood and told me to go home. Which is JUST what I was going to do.... when I found myself at the strangers from door. As I walked to the door I hadn't excepted my whole body to be tingling with wonder and excitement. The door swung open before I could even knock. There stood God's creation of man. He had to be at least 6'3'' with a chest strong and wide. His night shirt tight his check shoing off his amazing abs and pecks. Hair smooth as silk, dark ad the night, was cut short, but enough to run your hairs through. Eyes of pure grassy green stared right at me, obviously wanted to know why I was there, but yet a hint of pleasure at seeing me was definitely seen. He obviously had been sleeping, sense he was still in boxers. Not silky, as to look rich and fancy, but simple, smooth, comfy cotton boxers. I was probably drooling a flood when he asked how he could help me. Heaven and earth he had a voice like a damn GOD! Sexy, rich, deep, and damn it if it wasn't seducingly inviting. I smiled sheepishly, handed him his paper I had picked up and turned to leave when his hand grabbed my arm, turning me, maybe a bit too fast and hard, but it had its effect. If I wasn't picturing him holding me against him and taking his lips to mine, I might have been afraid of how strong a hold he had on my arm. "Please stay a while? I don't believe I have meet you yet. Do you live around here?", asking with his words, but begging with his eyes for me to stay. Any other rational person would have thought twice before agreeing, seeing how despritly he wanted me to stay. He let go of my arm, making me sigh a little that he wasn't touching me, and invited me inside. What the hell am I doing? That thought screamed in my mind over and over again. "I actually live behind you in the big light blue house. You can see it from your balcany, I believe.", finding nothing else better to say, and suddenly wanted to hear his voice again. He lifted his eyebrow at that, but agreed that he could. We talked of his work, his life, family and friends, and of why he had moved here. He works for a company that has a strong foothold out here and they needed him to run it while they tried to create another company where he once lived. "I'll most likely be sent back home once they have completed the minor details", he told with a hint of regret. Wishing it was for a reason I had no right to think I simply smiled and said I was sorry. He smiled and laughed, which make my heart skip a beat to hear, telling me I had no reason to be sorry specially sense I didn't even know his name. I looked at him as if I had just lost my mind. "You never asked, so I never told.", he replied with a sexy, but evil grin. I held my head down trying to hide how bad I was blushing and asked what it was. He raised my chin to his face with a soft touch and simple said, "Matt", right before he kissed me.
To be continued....
He touched my face softly, drawing me towards him, touching my lips ever so slightly, teasing my senses first before teaseing my lips. I wouldn't go with out a taste for long, he pressed his lips to mine, soft and feather like the felt on mine. I uttered a moan, not even sure how it escaped or even where it came from. Like a dieing urge to just let him know he had me, even if my mind refused the idea. I pulled away, breaking the contact and sending my body into want for his touch again, his taste, his warmth. and his appeal. "What the hell are you doing?", I screamed, trying to regain any control left to find. "You can't just kiss perfect strangers for no reason. Dont touch me!", I ordered as he tried to grab my arm "I mean no harm." That was all he had to say!? He sends my body into over drive over a dumb little kiss and he says he means no harm!!! "Don't ever touch me again. Hell don't even come near me again!", I bellowed as I ran out the door, More than pleads than orders. I felt him standing there, mouth wide and eyes surprised. It was as if the shock that I might not want him had taken him by surprise. That maybe he hadn't done the right thing, or at least in all the wrong ways.
I slammed the door of my house behind me and leaned my back against it as if to hide from what might be behind it. Why had I been so harsh? He had no right to touch me. Then why did I enjoy it so much? Why did my body scream for more, more, more! His eyes had looked so hurt when I pushed him away, as if I had ripped out his heart and jumped up and down on it for fun. He simply said nothing, staring in complete shock. I tried to focus on sleep. On forgetting anything happened at all. My night was full of images, wants, needs, and desires, no women should have in her mind. My body was still very vividly awake. I had a urge to get out, to be free of my thoughts. I went to my balcany and just breathed in the fresh night air. It seemed to clear my mind of any tiny little thought. I pulled my shirt shirt down past my shoulder, letting the night air hit my skin. It sent shivers down my back, but ones that released balls of stress and fustration. I opened my eyes that I had closed to savar in the feeling to see Matt starting at me from his balcany. His face covered in shadows again. He leaned foward only enough to see the light shine sexily on his smile, because he turned around and went back inside, as if he knew he had just made my night just as stressfull and sleepless as it had been before..
To be continued...... |
