“Here By Me”
Chapter 14


As the day passes Isabella awakes in her room a little past noon, she sits up looking around propping herself against her pillows in the bed. She sits there looking around as she starts to cry she pulls her knees up to her chest wrapping her arms around her legs and setting her head down on her knees. She cries softly into her lap as she hears.

“Isabella?” Isabella looks up as she sees her councilor standing in the doorway of her room.

“Dr. Lee?!” Isabella says through tears.

“How are you feeling right now?” Dr. Lee asks her.

“I feel like someone has given me a nightmare from hell and it will not go away no matter how hard I try to forget it.” Isabella tells her.

Dr. Lee walks over to her desk and pulls the chair over to the side of her bed and takes a seat as she says, “So you are remembering the accident at the school.”

Isabella chuckles in a scornful way, “Accident…” Isabella shakes her head quickly as she says, “That was no accident that happen that was a massacre… They killed innocent children and adults they opened fire on my class room killing all my friends…” Isabella’s tears washed down her face as her thoughts were as vivid as the day it happened to her.

“Do you want to talk about it Isabella?” Dr. Lee asks her.

Isabella nods as she says, “I think it might help to talk about it. I would like to talk about more then that as well.” Dr. Lee nods as Isabella starts telling her about that dreadful day that changed her life forever.
>

Meanwhile at school Sebastian finally gets a chance to talk to Zack.

As Sebastian spots Zack in the hall going to lunch he runs up behind him as he calls out, “Zack… Hey wait up!”

Zack turns looking at Sebastian as he runs up to him Zack slowly turns starting to walk again as Sebastian gets up next to him Zack asks him, “What do you want Bastian? I am in no mood to fight with you right now I have too much on my mind at the moment.” Zack slides his hands into his pockets as he keeps walking to the lunchroom.

“Well I know you and Isabella ride to school together and I noticed she was not here today. Is she alright?” Sebastian asks him. Zack looks over at Sebastian not sure what to say as they walk into the lunchroom Zack still says nothing.

Sebastian places his hand on Zack’s shoulder turning him to look at him as he says in an annoyed tone, “Look Zack I know you do not want Isabella in my life any more, but I am sorry to say it is a given. Isabella is going to remember one day and when she does, there will be no room for you in her life any longer. So if something happened between you two this morning…”

Zack cut Sebastian off as he exclaims, “Nothing happen between us this morning Isabella is fine and if I remember correctly I told you to butt out of Isabella’s live while I was with her.”

Zack goes to turn back around as Sebastian jerks him back around to look at him as he exclaims, “I am worried about her Zack that is something a friend does is worry about their friends when they are not at school when they just saw them the night before and everything was fine with them. Now tell me what is going on and why is Isabella not here today?!”

Zack slaps Sebastian’s hand from his shoulder as he glares at him he says, “I do not know what is wrong with Isabella. When I got there to pick her up her mother told me she woke up not feeling well and she would not be going to school today that is all I know. Now go away Bastian you bug me.”

Sebastian sighs as he shakes his head he turns walking away from Zack as he walks along he comes across Lisa standing in the entry way of the lunch room Sebastian tries to get out without her seeing him as he hears, “Bastian there you are where have you been I have been waiting here for you.”

Lisa walks over to him as he turns looking at her he gives her a half smile as he says, “I need to do something Lisa I will not be able to have lunch with you today. So I will see you later today around the school, ok.”

“But Bastian we were going to talk about what we were going to do after the school tonight.” Lisa tells him as he starts to walk away from her.

Bastian waves over his shoulder as he says, “We can talk about that later this is a little more important.” Lisa stands there watching him walk away from her. Lisa sighs as she walks into the lunchroom to have lunch with her other friends. Sebastian walks outside the school and takes out his cell phone as he calls Isabella’s phone trying to find out what was going on with her.


While back at Isabella’s she hears her cell ring she picks it up as she wipes away her tears she looks back at Dr. Lee as she drops her hands in her lap. Dr. Lee asks her, “Who is it Isabella?”

“It is Sebastian…” Isabella pauses as she looks at her.

“Are you going to answer it?” Dr. Lee asks her.

Isabella shakes her head as Dr. Lee asks her, “And why not Isabella?”

“I remember Sebastian now and how I felt for him back then.” Isabella tells her looking back at her phone that has stopped ringing.

“So is that not a good thing Isabella or was everything, everyone was telling you wrong?” Dr. Lee asks her.

“No they were right about how I felt and feel for Sebastian.” Isabella tells her looking back up at her.

“So what is the problem then?” Dr. Lee asks her.

Isabella looks back down at her phone as she says, “There is someone else involved now and he… Well he is…” Isabella pauses as she looks back at Dr. Lee.

“He to is in love with you?” Dr. Lee asks her. Isabella nods as Dr. Lee asks her, “And how do you feel about his other person Isabella?”

“Well I like him a lot he is a really good guy and he treats me good.” Isabella looks at her hand that was wearing the ring Zack gave her as she looks back at Dr. Lee she says, “He told me he loves me and he gave me this promise ring.”

Isabella plays with the ring as Dr. Lee asks her, “So what do you want to do Isabella?”

“I am not really sure, but I do know I do not want to hurt Zack, he has been so good to me the last week, and I do like him, but…” Isabella pauses as Dr. Lee tells her,

“You long to be with Sebastian now and you know by dragging this thing out with Zack he will only get closer to you making it much harder on him when you finally decide to be with Sebastian.”

“But Zack told me he would be happy for me when my memories return and he would step out of the picture so Sebastian and I could be together again.” Isabella says.

“What Zack says and what Zack’s heart tells him to do will be two totally different things Isabella. If Zack has fallen in love with you, he is going to find it very hard to walk away from you. No matter how much we think we can do it and no matter how much we prepare ourselves for something, tragic in our lives we are never ready to except it when it finally comes around. We only fool ourselves into believing we can do it until it slaps us in the face with the cold hard truth.” Dr. Lee tells her.

Isabella hangs her head as she says, “I cannot break Zack’s heart, I just cannot do it. I care for him too much and he is a good person.”

“I cannot tell you what to do Isabella, I can only tell you what might happen or what will happen if you let this go on to long and not stop it now. You will have to make that choice on your own.” Dr. Lee tells her.

“What if I let everyone think I have not remembered everything… just something’s and then slowly starts making them think I remember other things maybe that will give Zack more of a chance to prepare himself for me to finally leave him.” Isabella tells her.

“If you do something like that it will have to be within the next few weeks and you will have to start pulling away from Zack more and more everyday, because if you do not you might have a fight between Zack and Sebastian for your affection.” Dr. Lee tells her.

Isabella hangs her head again as she says, “I have to do something I do not want to hurt Zack and I do not want to hurt Sebastian any longer. I love Sebastian and I now know what he was feeling everyday when he knew he could not be with me.” Isabella tells her as a tear drops to her hands.

“Then end the relationship with Zack and be his friend before things get to carried away between you two…” Dr. Lee pauses as she asks Isabella, “May I ask you a personal question Isabella?” Isabella nods as Dr. Lee asks her.

“Have you and Zack slept together… as in sexual relations?”

Isabella’s eyes widen as she exclaims chuckling, “WOW that was personal, but no Zack and I have never been together. I have never been with any guy for that fact.”

Dr. Lee smiles as she says, “That is a good thing.”

Isabella smiles back at her as she says, “I guess I am saving myself for the right guy.”

“You mean Sebastian?” Dr. Lee says in a questing tone.

“Yeah I guess you could say that, Sebastian is everything to me. I cannot believe my feelings are this strong for him and I did not even know it… I could not even remember him or my feelings toward him.” Isabella says.

“The mind is a very powerful tool if damaged and hurt to the point yours was it can block or even dispose of things that you never even knew happened in your life. Unless someone tells you about it, then it would only be a new memory, just like it was for you, but you still would feel like it was someone else that did it and not you, because you would have no real memories of it.” Dr. Lee tells her.

Isabella nods in agreement with her as Dr. Lee asks her, “How do you feel Isabella?”

Isabella chuckles as she says, “Like someone dumped the world on top of me and asked me to sort out its problems, but in reality I feel like someone has ripped out my heart and gave me a nightmare from a horror flick that haunts my every waking or sleeping moment.”

“Well I can help you there with the nightmare and I suggest you take it easy for the next week or so. You may find yourself having outburst and being overwhelmed by these feelings of fear or being lost or no hope and that is another thing that will not help you with what is going on between you and the other two in your life. You already feel pulled between the two and if you do not end it with Zack since you do not love him yet you will start to feel more and more obligated to keep from breaking his heart hurting you and Sebastian even more in the long run.” Dr. Lee tells her.

“I will end it with Zack just not right now. We have a dance next Friday night that he asked me to and I will let him know in time my memories of Sebastian have returned I just want to do it on my time frame.” Isabella says.

“Are you sure this dance is a good thing for you to be going to after everything that has just happened?” Dr. Lee asks her.

Isabella nods as she says, “If I let this nightmare rule me I will never move over it. I have to face it and get it under control, because if I do not it will make me afraid of living and I love life too much to be afraid of it.”

Dr. Lee smiles as she nods in agreement saying, “You are a strong young lady Isabella and I am happy that you finally got back what you have been trying so hard to retrieve.”

“Thank you Dr. Lee and I will do what is right for Zack I promise I will not lead him on thinking there is more to us then what there is.” Isabella tells her.

Dr. Lee stands as she touches Isabella’s shoulder she says, “Well I will be on my way now, but if you need to talk to me you know where to find me day or night. I will leave a prescription with your mother to be filled for you and if you feel overwhelmed by your feelings or you have an outburst, take two of them and I want to hear from you. If it is getting to be all the time you are having these, I will need to start seeing you on a more regular bases and I want to know if you start having headaches more often or even if you have one and the intensity of the headache. I want you to stay home the rest of this week and all of next week… and if I think you are up to the dance next Friday I will let you go, but with all of your memories or at least we think all of your memories have returned from what we talked about today. Your mind may not be able to adjust well with everything and you may find things you cannot cope with, with other things.”

“Like a conflict of interest within me?” Isabella says chuckling.

Dr. Lee chuckles as well as she says, “Exactly… So do not take it lightly get a hold of me if anything seems strange to you.”

“Yes Dr. Lee I will call you if anything seems strange to me.” Isabella tells her. Dr. Lee starts to walk from the room as Isabella steps from her bed standing at the side of it Isabella calls out, “Oh…” Dr. Lee turns around looking at Isabella as she was waiting for her to continue Isabella smiles as she says, “Thank you Heather…”

Dr. Lee smiles at her as she says, “No thanks are needed Izzy. It is my job…” Isabella smiles as she walks from the room.


After Dr. Lee left, Isabella walks out onto her balcony looking around as a tear of happiness rolls down her cheek. As all of her childhood memories rush back to her as she remembers the nights she stood on the balcony talking to Sebastian on the phone each one of them with a flashlight shining it in the direction of their home so they knew the other was standing on their balconies looking toward one another.

She laughed as she remembered the times her, Sebastian, Halyn, and Tristan were swimming in the pool and she taught Tristan how to swim. The times at the beach and the times in school and then the time, she had to leave all her friends she loved so much. Her tears changed from happiness to sadness as she remembers the day on the beach Sebastian told her he loved her and she never told him how she felt in return.

Isabella hangs her head as she says aloud, “My God the hell I have put you through Bastian. I am so sorry for that.”

Isabella looks up looking back out at the property toward Sebastian’s house she smiles as she says, “I promise you Bastian only a little while longer and we will finally be together like we should be.”

Isabella dries her tears as she turns going back into her room she picks up her phone looking at the time she thinks to herself, “Only 30 more minutes and school is out. I wonder how Zack is doing after what happen today. I guess I will go get cleaned up and give Zack a call after class is over so not to bother him right now.” Isabella sets her phone back on her nightstand going to the bathroom and taking a shower.

After she comes from the bathroom getting dressed she picks up her phone seeing three missed calls she scrolls through them seeing who called.

“Zack called and one more from Bastian.” Isabella stands there looking at the phone as she dials Zack first. She hears the phone ring a few times then hearing, “Hello…”

“Zack where are you?” Isabella asks him.

Zack chuckles as he says, “Funny you should ask that question.”

”Why do you say that Zack?” Isabella asks him.

“Because I am standing right here.” Isabella turns quickly looking toward her bedroom door seeing Zack standing there. She smiles at him as she hangs up her phone walking toward him.

She gives Zack a hug as he says, “I see your doing better then this morning that is good to see.”

Zack pushes her back slightly from the hug as he asks her, “What happen this morning anyway?”

“My memory of the attack on the school came back to me.” Isabelle tells him.

“Oh God that is awful Isabella are you going to be alright?” Zack asks her hugging her again.

“I am hanging in there for now I cannot let it rule my life I have to fight it and keep it under control or it will tear me apart inside.” Isabella tells him.

“Yes I understand that Isabella, but don’t you need time to morn the lost of your friends that were in this.” Zack asks her.

“I will morn them in my own way when the time comes to do so, but right now I have to find away to keep this feeling of fear and the sinking hope I feel from overwhelming me.” Isabella tells him as a tear trickles down her cheek.

Zack holds her tighter as he says, “I am here if you need anything.”

Isabella pushes Zack back as she says, “I need my homework from school all next week.”

Isabella hugs him again as Zack ask, “All next week… why is that?”

Isabella pulls away from him taking his hand she leads him to her bed taking a set on the edge of it pulling him down next to her. She looks at Zack as she says, “Dr. Lee has taken me out of school for the next week.”

Zack does not look very happy as he says, “Really and what about the dance?”

“She said if I thought I could handle it I could go, but we have to wait and see. Some of my memories have returned and giving that they are not all my memories, but I can now remember what happen at the school and I can remember my Mother and Father.” Isabella replies.

Zack smiles as he squeezes Isabella’s hand he says, “I know some of those memories could have been left out for you so you would not have to feel the pain and suffering of what happen back then, but I am so glad you have some of your memories back.” Zack hangs his head as he asks, “Isabella… What about Bastian?”

Isabella sighs not wanting to lie to him but knew it was for the best at the time. She says, “I do not remember anything about him and only a few things about my childhood, but my councilor told me with a big break in my memory like this it will only be a matter of time and I will remember everything about my life.”

Zack looks back up at her as he smiles he says, “Well then I guess I should enjoy every minute I have with you.”

Isabella smiles as she says, “Yes I guess you should…” Zack smiles at her as he kisses Isabella standing to his feet walking away from her. Isabella touches her lips with her fingertips not understanding this feeling that she just felt course through her body.

Zack turns around as Isabella quickly moves her hand back to her side Zack gives her funny look as he says, "Are you alright?”

Isabella makes eye contact with his as she smiles she says, “Yes I will be fine Zack. Are you leaving now?” She gets to her feet walking toward him taking his arm and leading him out of her room.

“Yes I have work I just wanted to stop by and make sure you were alright before I did.” Zack tells her.

They get downstairs at the front door as Zack kisses her again that same feeling courses though Isabella again as she hears Zack say, “I will call you later when I am on break.”

Isabella smiles an odd smile as she nods Zack opens the door and leaves her standing at the door watching him drive away.


Isabella closes the door as she turns leaning against it with her back. She closes her eyes as she sees Sebastian in front of her she starts to cry as the feeling of betrayal washes over her. The tears start to flow more as she runs to her room she throws herself on her bed as she cries into her pillow. After a few minutes of crying she hears her phone ring she picks it up seeing it is Sebastian she quickly gathers herself up and answers it,

“Hello Bastian…”

“Isabella?!” Sebastian questions.

“Yeah this is Izzy why do you ask?”

Sebastian pulls the phone back from his ear confused as he says, “Are you alright you were not in school today I was worried about you. I thought maybe after last night you may have been… well… I am not sure, but I was still worried.”

Isabella chuckles as she says, “You always were a worry wart Bastian. I guess that is something you will never grow out of and I am fine just a few glitches this morning and now everything is fine. Soon you will never have to worry about me again.”

“SOON?!” Sebastian exclaims.

“Not soon enough, but soon.” Isabella says.

“Isabella…” Sebastian says with a questioning in his tone.

Isabella cuts him off quickly as she says, “Bastian I need to go Mom is calling me and I have to go see what she wants.”

Isabella hangs up the phone as Sebastian is still on the other end he says, “Isabella… Hello Isabella… are you still there.” Sebastian pulls the phone from his ear as he looks at his phone seeing the call had ended he slides the phone into his pocket as he starts to walk through the locker room to get ready for practice he says to himself,

“Something is going on here and Isabella is not saying anything about it… she called me Bastian… she said I would not have to worry about her any longer. What is she talking about?”

Just then Sebastian stopped in his tracks as his eyes widened he exclaims out loud, “DID ISABELLA’S MEMORIES RETURN?!”


Here By Me Chapter 15