I'm Still Playing Your Music-A Tales of Symphonia fanfiction

Warnings- shonen-ai

Notes: Rough-draft, unedited. A few of the characters might be OOC because the story takes place four years after the events in ToS.

            Genis sat with his knees drawn up to his chest on the beach in Altimira, staring blankly out at the waves. A cool breeze whipped through the normally warm city, and the mage's hands were rapidly going numb, his fingers clutching to the fabric covering his legs tighter by the second in search of his body warmth. He flexed them, and then went back to his motionless state, staring out at the sea and wondering what had just happened.

"Genis, I'm sorry, but. . . ."

The half-elf was numb-the words kept spinning in his head, but he couldn't quite make out their meaning. It was almost there, as if he could reach out and grab it, but when he did, the meaning just danced away from him.

"I just don't think that . . . we're meant to . . . to be together."

The words were flat, and emotionless. Genis had expected her to have some sort of regret, or pity, or something in her voice, but . . . it was just like the time when she had been under the influence of the Cruxis Crystal that lay sitting above her breastbone, wrapped in the inhibitor ore-based Key Crest that Lloyd had carved for her.

"Presea, I'm . . . not sure I understand."

He had refused to believe it at first, naturally. When you're in love with someone, it's all instinct to think that they're simply joking with you. But she had been serious, he knew, when she wouldn't accept his latest gift. Genis had always brought Presea gifts when he was able to stop by Altimira. Sometimes it would be an ancient artifact that he had weedled out of Raine, sometimes music, and sometimes just the traditional flowers and jewelry. He knew she didn't care that much for the necklaces and bracelets, but she would accept them gladly, smiling as she put it on.

"Don't give it to me. We shouldn't be together."

The words were stronger that time, and she looked more sure of herself as she turned and walked away from him. He had been left standing stupified, his hand outstretched, grasping the locket loosely, waiting for her to turn, wink, and say that she was teasing him. But she didn't.

"Presea! Why not? I love you!"

He had said the words before, of course, heartfelt and meaning it, but there was something different this time. The urgency to tell her before she walked away, because it might be the last time he would be able to. It was.

"Genis, I'm afraid I don't feel the same."

Her eyes were cold, and when he persisted, tried to give her the locket once more, she slapped his hand away, sending the jewelry flying, landing a few feet away, broken and scratched. Genis made a fist. It still hurt, even though she had not slapped him that hard.

"But . . . why?"

He thrust his face into his knees as tears began running down his face again.

"I'm sorry."

Raine would laugh at him, naturally. She knew it wasn't meant to be from the moment she had laid eyes on the two. She had warned him before, and he hadn't listened. She was only his older sister, after all. What did she know?

More than he did, that was for sure.

Genis finally got to his feet and moved further away from the city, getting as close to the water as he could without getting wet, the waves lapping at his toes. The breeze that had been toying with the mage's hair and numbing his fingers picked up, dropping the temperature several degrees. Genis began to shiver, and hugged himself tighter. He had no desire to go back inside-his current lodgings were with Regal and Presea in the small mansion in the part of Altimira that seemed almost suburban, and the young mage had no money for a room at the inn. His ears perked up slightly at the sound of gentle footsteps behind him.

"Genis . . . you should . . . come inside." Presea's voice was gentle, pleading. Genis shook his head. "You'll catch cold."

"You sound like Raine," Genis mumbled into his knees. "I don't like it."

"I'm sorry, Genis, but I only speak the truth," Presea retorted, somewhat sharply. "The breeze makes Altimira chilly at night. You should come inside."

"Answer me something, first," the half-elf said, getting to his feet and brushing himself off. He turned to her and started intently into her blue eyes. "What happened?" Presea took a step back, startled. "You liked me well enough, four years ago. What changed?"

"Genis . . . I did. I changed," Presea said, looking down at the sand. "I didn't know what was going on back then. I had just lost sixteen years of my life. It was only natural that I looked to someone for support. It just happened to be you when I understood the feelings you held for me." She smiled weakly. "But then my emotions started to come back, and I began aging again, like I was supposed to. And, I just realized that . . . I don't care for you the way I used to." She looked at the silver-haired boy standing before her. "I wish I didn't have to break your heart, but. . . . "

"No, it's all right. I understand," Genis said. "Raine'll stop by here tomorrow to check on me. I'll just go with her." He walked past Presea, toward the inn. "I'm sure I'll be able to work something out with the inn's staff to let me stay with them tonight."

"No." Presea caught his arm. "You're staying with Regal and I, at least tonight. You'll never have to stay there again if you don't want to, but we promised Raine. . . . " Her grip tightened.

Genis shut his eyes. That's all I ever am to anyone, he thought. A promise to my older sister. Even to Raine, I'm just a promise to our mother. No one would ever really care for me, would they. . . ? Not unless they promised Raine. . . .

"He looks the same," he whispered, watching Presea lead Genis off the beach. "Exactly the same." A bit taller, but they had never been the same height, the one always a few inches above Genis. Fists curled and uncurled, watching, waiting.

"Genis, did you not sleep well?" Raine eyed her brother carefully over the lunch that Regal had prepared for them. The older half-elf had been passing by Altimira on her way to yet another ruin, and had thought to check in on her brother, to see how he was doing.

She was glad she had.

Genis shook his head slowly, staring somewhat blankly at his sandwitch. "No, I didn't," the mage replied. Under his sister's glare, he explained. "I had too many things on my mind, sis."

Presea made a jerking motion, and the professor caught her eye. "My fault," the pink-haired girl mouthed to Raine. Both flinched slightly, and returned their gazes to Genis.

"Probably this vacation paradise," Raine said, taking a bite of her own meal. "Too many people, and I'm sure you get the occasional tourist who . . . doesn't care for . . . my brother's company." Regal and Presea nodded, remembering a violent scuffle that had broken out a few days before when a customer of the inn had discovered that Genis was a half-elf. Raine continued, "I'm sure you just need a little time away. How about you go and visit Lloyd and Colette in Iselia? I'm sure they'd love to see you."

"We recieved word from them that they had recently come across an Exsphere dealer," Presea put in. "And they pursued him. It is highly unlikely that they're in Iselia right now."

Raine bit her lip. It wasn't that she was opposed to bringing Genis with her in her excavation, but he wouldn't have any company-it was doubtful that he would accompany her into the ruins all day, and when she returned each night, she would be too exhausted to really have a good conversation with him. "Where else. . . ?"

"How about Altessa's place?" Regal asked. "I visited him not long ago, and he mentioned that he would like to see us again. Perhaps Genis can stay there for a while."

"That sounds wonderful!" Raine exclaimed, looking to her little brother. Genis shrugged-he honestly didn't care. "A-all right. We'll head there tomorrow, then." The rest of the meal passed without mishap, and the two half-elves bade farewell to their friends later in the afternoon.

They travelled using the Rheairds, which surprised Genis. Even though the transporation devices had been evenly distributed to each member of the party after they had defeated Mithos, they were instructed to use them as little as possible-meaning only in absolute emergencies. As Raine dismounted her Rheaird, Genis came gently to a landing, and then ran to catch up with her.

"Hey, Raine," he said, slowing his pace to match his sister's. "Why'd we use the Rheairds? I thought we weren't supposed to."

"I didn't feel like taking the extra time to walk here," Raine said shortly, reaching Altessa's door and rapping on it sharply. "And I thought it would be best to have you get away from Altimira as soon as possible." Genis bit his lip-she must have figured out what was going on and was truly worried about him.

"Raine! Genis!" They were greeted by the face of an overjoyed dwarf, and within moments they had been ushered into Altessa's home and sat down at the wooden table. "It's been forever. How are you?"

"We're fine, Altessa, thank you," Raine replied quickly. "And yourself?"

"Eh, a bit lonely, but all right," the dwarf replied. "What brings you here?"

"We were wondering if Genis could stay with you for a while," Raine said, nudging her younger brother, who nodded. "One can only visit Altimira so many times before one gets bored with it."

"Altimira, eh?" Altessa questioned. "Any reason?" He winked at Genis, who stiffened, and Raine shook her head, causing her hair to wave about wildly, and Altessa bit his lip. "Sorry, lad."

"I-it's all right," Genis replied softly. It was a show of just how broken he was-usually he would have joined the conversation with a cheerful tone in his voice. "I-I should have listened to Raine when she told me we wouldn't be together." He averted his eyes.

"Altessa?" Raine looked at the dwarf, her eyes pleading.

"He can stay for as long as he needs to," Altessa replied quietly. Raine nodded, mouthing a "thank-you" to him. He nodded, then tried to turn the conversation to a lighter tone. "Where are you going this time?" He had heard of the professor's various excavations and studies from the others who took the time to visit him-mainly Regal and Presea when they stopped by Ozette, but occasionally Lloyd and Colette would show up at his door as well."

"It's rumored that the Triet Ruins are larger than we originally thought," Raine said, her excitement ignited by the dwarf's interest. "So, naturally, I just have to go see. It's likely that they've been buried under the sands over time, or perhaps there's a tunnel somewhere that leads to another. . . . "

Genis tuned out, and gave a nod to Altessa before heading outside. As he turned to find a path of sorts to hike, he saw a pile of boulders sitting not too far away. As the half-elf neared them, he remembered when they had fallen, and his thoughts turned to another who had left him long before.

Reaching a hill not too far away from Altessa' home, Genis sat, and brought a set of panpipes out of his pocket. He studied them carefully, making sure that they were clean. They appeared old, and there was a crack where they had once been broken.

Four years, the mage thought, bringing the instrument to his lips and producing a clear note. It's been four years, and still I keep these. He betrayed me, and still I keep these. Why? He played another note, and another, stringing them together perfectly in a song that Mithos had taught him. The sound should have made him feel worse, remembering what the original owner had done to him, all the pain the other half-elf had caused Genis, but instead it calmed the mage's emotions, and suddenly he was lost in it.

"He remembers it."

"What?" Genis stumbled to his feet, pocketing the pipes once more before bringing out his kendama. "Who's there?" The wind blew, but no one answered his question. "What was that?"

"Genis!" That was Raine. The mage blinked. Had he been gone loner than he thought? Obviously, for Raine looked peeved as she reached him on the hill. "So this is where you were. I've been calling you for a while now!"

"Sorry," Genis replied quickly. "I was . . . just thinking."

"About Presea?"

"Not really."

"I see," Raine said. She didn't see at all, Genis knew, and followed his sister back. She left the next morning, and Genis was alone. He spent his days either watching Altessa craft (the dwarf even customized his kendama for him-needless to say Genis was estastic and spent a while staring at it and practicing with it) or sitting on the hill, playing the panpipes. He eventually ran out of songs that he knew or could make up the notes to, and began to repeat them. He tried making up some on his own, but they didn't work out as well as he had planned.

A month passed, with no sign of Raine coming back, and no news of her excavation. Altessa's enthusiam ignited by having a guest soon wore off and Genis became, more or less, just another figure in the household. The mage was hardly ever there anyway, more often than not he spent the lighted hours out in the wilderness, packing his lunch and his kendama, leaving early in the morning and returning just after sundown. Although most of the time Genis would appear to be unmoved by the events that transpired before his stay, sometimes Altessa would catch him, just before he left on his daily journeys and sometimes just after he came back, staring blankly, a depressed dullness in his eyes. Sometimes the dwarf wondered if being seperated from his sister was really the right thing for the mage.

Genis sat, an afternoon wind blowing through his thick hair, with Mithos' panpipes pressed to his lips, the instrument silent. His lips pursed for a moment, as if he were going to play a note, but instead brought them away, and fell back onto the grass, staring up at the sky. Clouds floated above him, playing out shapes, unaware of the troubled mind below their game. For the most part, the half-elf had no more feelings for Presea, but sometimes Genis would catch himself with wet cheeks after thinking about her for a prolonged period of time. Now, however, he was feeling particularly depressed, and brooded over their last few conversations. One moment he would be scolwing, and the next his eyes would water. He rolled onto his side, and traced his finger over the panpipes, which had fallen to the grass as he did. Footsteps interrupted the silence, and Genis scowled.

Altessa, he thought. Must have figured out where I hurry off to every day. He grabbed the panpipes and stuck them back into his pocket.

"Don't do that," came a soft voice. "I'd like to hear you play."

Genis jumped, startled. "Who's there?" he asked, manuvering himself to turn and look at the intruder. The voice that assaulted his ears was familiar, but he couldn't place it. The information giggled and jumped out of his reach. He managed to roll halfway over to look at his visitor when a strong hand grabbed him and held him steady. "What the heck?"

"Just play, please." The voice was asking, not demanding, and Genis reached for the panpipe slowly. Nothing happened, his captor did not release him. He brought the instrument to his lips and blew a note softly, and then another, playing the first song that Mithos had taught him. There was a contented sigh from somewhere above him as Genis finished the the song. "Another?"

"A-all right," Genis said, and began to play again. As the notes flew into the air, the mage wondered what his captor would do if he were to suddenly stop playing, throw off the other's grip and demand to be left alone. The thought swirled about inside his brain, swelling as he began to consider it. As he brought the song to a close, the grip losened.

"One more?" Genis responded by playing a new song. This one was long, and Genis was so involved in remembering which note came after which that he didn't notice when his captor released him. He also forgot to register the fact that he didn't know who it was that he was playing for, someone who could possibly kill him. Unfortunately, the possibilities came rushing back to him at the wrong moment, and he blew hard into the instrument, which squeaked, and Genis tensed, waiting for something to happen.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to do that, it's just been a while, and I-"

"I heard what happened, Genis." Strong arms encircled him, and despite his tension, Genis found himself warming into the embrace. "I'm so sorry."

"Who are you?" Genis squirmed around, trying to face the other direction and his former captor. As he managed the turnaround, blue eyes met his own, framed by blonde hair. The mage let out a gasp. "It . . . it can't be!"

"Genis, please, don't!" Mithos hugged the other half-elf to him tighter as Genis tried to escape. "Please!" When his words seemed futile, Mithos tried again. "Genis, I'm not going to hurt you, just give me a chance!"

"I already gave you a chance, now let me go!"

"Genis, think! If I wanted to hurt you, wouldn't I have done it by now?"

That froze the mage, and Mithos let out a sigh of relief. "But . . .maybe not me, but what about Lloyd and the others?" He glared at his former friend the best he could. "What about Colette becoming Martel's vessel?"

Mithos let out a sigh. "Genis . . . I've found something more important than reviving Martel, I've finally learned to let her go," he said. His gaze drifted down, as if he were ashamed of himself. "But . . . I've been such an idiot, I think I might have already lost my chance at it."

"What would that be?" Genis asked, relaxing, even though his mind screamed at him that Mithos was his enemy.

The four-thousand year-old angel looked up at him, eyes so sincere it surprised Genis. "You."

"What?"

"You." To make his point clear, Mithos leaned in and kissed Genis. The younger half-elf was startled at first, stiffening up as Mithos' lips met his own. Then, after a moment, he relaxed, and wrapped his arms around Mithos' neck. The angel replied by lacing the fingers on one of his hands through Genis' hair, holding the mage's head closer. After what seemed to be an eternity, they broke apart, breathing hard. "I . . . love you, Genis."

"Mithos . . . I . . . " Genis stared at his former friend, enemy, and now his love, lost for words. He smiled as a look of despair crossed the other's face.

"It's . . . it's not funny," Mithos said.

"I was just thinking, I guess this is the part where I say, I love you, too."