Notes: The lyrics to ‘Anniversary’ are italicized, for ease of reading. I could have left them normal, or even indented. :P
Warning: Shounen-ai, though we’ll get to that later. ^_^
One-shot
Gackt sat quietly, watching the doll-like guitarist out of the corner of his eyes. Mana was picking notes out, jotting them in a tiny blue notebook. Slowly, Mana realized he was being stared at.
“Do you need something, Gackt?” Mana questioned innocently, setting his notebook on his lap, “You should have spoken up.” He pushed a lock of his blue-black hair over his shoulder, his eyes fixed on Gackt’s face.
“No, I was just looking around while I thought of lyrics,” Gackt lied, smiling when Mana returned to his guitar. The vocalist continued to watch Mana, though he did it even more discreetly.
‘I wonder if Mana remembers what day it is?’ Gackt thought, smiling lightly to himself as he scribbled a few words in his notebook, ‘I couldn’t see how Mana could forget, though. This is a very important day for both of us.’ The auburn-haired man sank into his thoughts, his eyes growing distant and wistful. Around him, the band practice continued.
Do I look the same to you? 'Cause I don't feel so.
You know everything must change as time goes by.
Though it feels like yesterday when we first met.
I feel I'm sinking deeper.
“Um, Gackt, practice is over,” Kami said loudly, shaking his friend by his shoulders, “You can come back to reality now.” Gackt blinked furiously, clearing his mind of every reminiscent thought. He blushed faintly when he noticed all four of his band mates were watching him with curiously concerned eyes.
“I was just thinking; I must have zoned out,” Gackt laughed, trying to downplay his embarrassment, “I had a great idea for the new music video.”
“You’ll have to outline it for our next practice. Your ideas are always great,” Kozi said cheerily as he picked up his guitar case to leave, “I have to get home. My family is going to come for a visit and my apartment is a disaster zone.”
“Kozi, I can drive you home. I have to go that way,” Yu~ki volunteered, waving as he left with his friend.
“I should leave, too. I’m going to design a few new costumes,” Kami stated brightly, glancing around the room to make sure he wasn’t leaving anything he needed.
“If you decide to draw anything for me, make it cute,” Mana teased, smoothing his black skirt unnecessarily. He fluffed his wavy hair slightly, striking a pose. Gackt and Kami looked at each other, laughing vaguely at their leader. Mana pouted at them, his blue painted lips vivid against his pale skin.
“Bye, you two,” Kami said with a laugh still embedded in his tone, smiling happily as he walked out of the practice room. When the door had shut completely, Mana knelt on the floor by his chair.
Do you look the same to me? Well, I don't think so.
You know everything must change as time goes by.
Like the flowers that dry, locking inside
forever their beauty.
“Gackt, is there anything wrong?” Mana asked worriedly as
he carefully placed his guitar in its case, arranging everything with
precision, “You can tell me if something is bothering you. I thought you knew
that.”
“Nothing’s wrong, Mana,” Gackt stated quickly, “Why do
you ask?” The doll sighed wearily as he stood up, striding over to the
vocalist.
“I just noticed you seem to be out of it, that’s all.
That, and you look like you’ve got a slight cold,” Mana said hastily, with an
almost self-conscious tone. He looked away from Gackt’s face, his slender
fingers wound nervously.
“I’m just a little distracted, and I’m not sick,” Gackt
said merrily, cupping a hand under Mana’s chin so that he would have to look
up, “Thank you for asking, though.” Mana nodded, pulling away from Gackt. He
picked up his guitar case and his purse, after he had shrugged on his light
jacket.
“I think we’re all a little distracted. With all the
lives, recording sessions, photo shoots, and practices going on, I barely have
a moment to think,” Mana sighed wearily, massaging his eyes with his free hand,
“It’s been so long since we’ve been alone, without having something to distract
us.” He started for the door, his shoes lightly tapping on the tiles.
“Mana, do you have some free time tonight?” Gackt asked,
his voice pleading and hopeful. His blue eyes were wide as Mana turned to look
back at him.
“I don’t really know, but I think so,” Mana said
inquiringly, shifting the case to his other hand.
“Could you come over to my apartment some time tonight?”
Gackt questioned happily, smiling at the guitarist.
“I have to check my schedule, so I’ll call you when I get
home,” Mana stated blankly, walking out of the door, “It shouldn’t take me
long, so make sure you have your cell phone with you. Good bye, Gackt.”
“Bye, Mana,” Gackt said as the door swung shut. He
hurriedly found his coat, pulling the thin black material over his white shirt.
He checked his pockets, to make sure that he had put everything in them, as he
was leaving. Down the short hall and out on to the busy streets of Tokyo.
And they said this feeling fades,
it gets stronger everyday.
Gackt slid a dark pair of sunglasses over his eyes, keeping to the fringe of the crowd. He stayed in the shadows of the tall buildings, glancing in the window of every store he passes. He was looking for something special. Something that was absolutely perfect. It had to be. Anything less simply wouldn’t do.
And they said that beauty fades.
You're more beautiful than ever.
The vocalist paused momentarily in the window of an antique store. A blonde doll with perfectly done ringlets stood right in front of him, its long blue dress lightly trimmed with white lace, and its porcelain face glimmered in the dim light of the store. Gackt hurried inside, nearly pushing a few people out his way in his haste.
“Is that doll in the window for sale?” Gackt inquired, leaning on top of the counter. The woman who was there looked at Gackt, then at the doll, and then back again.
“It’s a family heirloom. It was given to my Great-Grandmother,” the woman began slowly, eyeing Gackt as she measured him up, “I’m very nervous about selling it. So the price is very high. I don’t think you could afford it.”
‘Obviously she doesn’t know who I am,’ Gackt thought with annoyance before he spoke with a carefully clipped tone, “So the doll IS for sale?”
“Yes, but only at a extremely high price,” the woman cautioned, tapping her painted fingernails on the counter top.
“Price doesn’t matter,” Gackt snapped as he walked over to pluck the doll from the window display. He came back and carefully placed the doll in front of the woman, precisely arranging the doll’s porcelain limbs with the same delicacy one uses with an infant.
“I’ll just enter the price, then,” the woman said curtly, pushing the keys on the cash register. She snottily named the figure, her eyes growing wide when Gackt threw the amount of money in front of her and left. Gackt was annoyed and angry with the woman, but very pleased with the doll. He held it out in front of him, running a finger over its coldly smooth face.
“You’re beautiful,” Gackt whispered to the doll as he walked down the busy sidewalk, “Beautiful just like your new owner. Beautiful just like Mana.”
They said we'd drift away,
we're still standing here.
And it feels like everyday is our anniversary.
Gackt’s cell phone rang in his pocket, causing the vocalist to nearly drop his new breakable purchase onto the pavement. He fished the tiny device out and opened the connection.
“I tried calling you before, Gackt; where were you?” Mana questioned, his voice laden with worry.
“I had to pick something up and I guess I didn’t hear my phone go off,” Gackt rationalized, feeling guilty that he had made Mana worry twice in one day.
“Okay, I was just wondering why you didn’t answer,” Mana said quickly, “I checked my schedule, and I have the entire night free. I can be over anytime you’d like.” Gackt smiled widely, brushing a lock of his tousled hair back. He looked down at his watch, a task that was made more difficult by the fact the doll was tucked under that arm and its dress was quite frilly.
“I still have to get to my apartment and set a few things up,” Gackt said slowly as he thought about what he still had to do, “Is an hour from now all right?”
“Gackt, I just told you that I have the whole night off,” Mana teased, giggling slightly at Gackt’s expense.
“I didn’t notice,” Gackt said flatly, knowing quite well how stupid he must have sounded to the guitarist. Mana giggled again, the sound like crystal bells.
“I’ll see you in an hour,” Mana said brightly before switching to a more serious tone, “Gackt, I feel like I’ve forgotten something important. Something you remembered. Did I forget something?”
“I’ll tell
you when you come over to my apartment,” Gackt said in a slightly sad tone,
clicking the phone off as he thought, ‘How could Mana forget what today is?’ He
rushed down the sidewalk, weaving between people to speed his pace. He still
needed to go pick up something to eat.
Well, I stumble through the dark and light a candle
and the path the wax will take, no one can know.
And you said it looked like snow or maybe clouds,
and I think it looks like heaven.
The final flame on the table flickered into life as Gackt lit the last candle. He blew out the match, throwing it in the trash as he went to his kitchen to grab the pair of plates that he had arranged. He had purchased dinner at his favorite restaurant; the waiter had teasingly asked who the lucky date was. Gackt set the plates on the table, pouring a ruby red wine into each of the glasses. The moment Gackt had finished arranging everything, a polite knock came from the door.
“Hello, Mana,” Gackt said cheerfully, stepping back to allow the guitarist inside. Mana walked in, pushing the door shut as he pulled his platform shoes off.
“Gackt, now I know I forgot something very important,” Mana said in sad voice, looking over the candlelit table. His eyes glittered in the light and he blinked the tears back. The vocalist looked around for something to distract Mana with, to get him to stop crying until Gackt found the perfect moment to remind him of what he had forgotten.
“I bought you a doll today, Mana,” Gackt stated brightly as he picked up the delicate porcelain doll and pushed it into Mana’s arms. The guitarist’s eyes widened as he looked over his new doll, admiring the sheer skill that was needed to sew its dress and to paint its face.
“This is an antique; it must have cost you a mint,” Mana said timidly, toying with the doll’s perfect ringlets.
“The price didn’t matter. All I saw was a beautiful doll that I had to get you,” Gackt cooed, wrapping his arms around Mana, “But now there are two beautiful dolls in front of me. Though the small one can’t even compare to you.” Mana’s face grew red, the guitarist happy that Gackt couldn’t see his face at the moment.
“Shall we eat?” Gackt questioned, leading Mana over to the table. They sat down across from each other, staring into each other’s eyes until Mana discovered he was still cradling the porcelain doll in his arms. Nearly mortified, Mana set the doll on the floor; his face once again bloomed with red when he looked back up and saw Gackt grinning at him.
They ate
their meal in silence, Mana’s face only returning to his normal shade of pale
towards the end. Gackt was thoroughly amused.
So we make it into a ring and make a mold.
And we melt above the flames the whitest gold.
When hot and cold collide what's left in place
is forever and ever.
“You promised to tell me what I forgot,” Mana reminded, settling down on the couch and leaning against Gackt.
“I’m still in shock that you forgot, but we have been very busy. You probably don’t even know the date,” Gackt began, toying with a lock of Mana’s hair, “Think of what the date is.” The guitarist thought for a second before his eyes welled up with tears.
“I’m sorry,” Mana managed to choke out, his eyes pouring out salty tears, “I’m sorry.”
“Mana, we’ve been busy; you yourself said that you didn’t have a moment to think,” Gackt soothed, wiping away Mana’s tears with his hand.
“But, Gackt, what if you hadn’t remembered?” Mana questioned in a sorrowful tone, “Our anniversary wouldn’t have even been noticed.”
“It’s all right. I remembered and you don’t have to worry at all. We had a nice little dinner and we’re going to have a nice conversation, but first there’s something I have to do,” Gackt said sweetly, pulling Mana into his lap.
“What?” Mana asked innocently, sniffling lightly from his crying fit.
“Exactly one year ago I invited you over for dinner. And then I did this,” Gackt said quickly before he kissed Mana, catching the guitarist completely off guard, “And then I said ‘I love you’. Mana, you have the same look on your face as you did last year.”
“I was just a little surprised,” Mana said softly, wrapping his arms around Gackt’s neck, “If I recall correctly, I cried for a second and then said ‘I love you too’.”
“Can we forgo the crying this time around?” Gackt questioned, smiling at Mana.
“I hope
so,” Mana said jokingly, “I don’t want to make it a tradition to cry every
year.” He blinked back his tears, closed his eyes, and held Gackt as close as
he could. Neither of them ever wanted to let go.
Some say things worth having take some time.
As they get older they get better.
Author’s Note: I hope this turned out right. Just so you know, the image for the doll was taken from a doll that Mana actually held during a photo shoot. I thought the doll looked a lot like Mana. ^_^