| DUO ¾ (An odd little parody of Ranma ½!) Foreward - Hey hey! First off, I wanna thank Lesley for the idea of a GW / Ranma crossover! It's definately one of the greatest ideas to put into words. So, for a while, I'll follow the real plot with my version of Rumiko Takahashi's characters... but, since I don't have any manga with Shampoo in them, I guess I won't add someone for her yet... Grrr, I wish there was more Ranma manga at the comic store I goto!!! It's too expensive to order it offline... but I may resort to that nonetheless. Welp! I hope you enjoy this parody, even though for now, it's the same plot with character adjustments. For those of you who haven't read the first part of the Ranma series, it'll be really good for you to follow later original plots, and also for everyone to get used to the new roles of characters! *clears throat* Okay, Gundam Wing and Ranma 1/2 belong to their respective companies, writers, etc... They are being used for entertainment purposes only and I do NOT claim any rights to them or anything. This story I consider to be my own work however, since there are definately alterations from any of the original plots. It's not for profit, just for fun on a boring day. So, don't sue me!!! You know the rest - email me at KittenMaxwell2003@sailormoon.com, etc. etc... Enjoy! DUO ¾ (An odd little parody of Ranma ½!) Part 1 - Here's Duo! Trowa Barton sat reading a post card he had recently recieved from China. Tears streamed down his face, which was flushed from the heat, as he read the sloppy postcard from his dear friend, Heero Yuy. " 'Hi, bringing Duo back from China. Heero.' Duo's finally coming here?! Oh, how I've waited for this day of destiny!" Trowa ran into his home, passing the large sign in front which read, 'Barton's Martial Arts - School of Indiscriminate Grappling.' He shouted for his (adopted) daughters as he ran in the door. "Noin! Relena! Hirde!" Noin looked up from the watermelon she was cutting in the kitchen, Relena looked up from the manga she was buried in, but Hirde was nowhere to be found. "Where IS that girl!?" Hirde jogged through the gates and into the house, changing rapidly from her running outfit into her martial arts robe, breaking through several cement blocks in one swift chopping motion of her arm. She sighed with relief and wiped her forehead with her sleeve. Relena walked in, snorting at her tomboy of a sibling. "Seriously Hirde, it's not a wonder that every guy thinks you're weird." Hirde snorted back, glaring at her older sister. "Why do I care? Not everyone thinks this world revolves around the male species, Relena." "Oh? Well, I guess the news I have wouldn't interest you at all, then..." Relena turned and strode slowly towards the door. Hirde's ears perked up and she reluctantly followed her sister out to the table, where she took a seat next to Relena, facing her father. A cold rain started to sprinkle slowly. "The son of one of my very dearest friends is to be a fiance to one of you girls. His name is Duo Maxwell. If one of you three marry him, the future of this training center would be secure." Hirde jumped up, protesting. "Wait a second! Don't we get to have any say at all in who we marry!?" Noin looked up and softly backed up her youngest sister. "She's right, daddy. We've never even met this Duo..." Trowa snorted softly. "That's not a problem..." The sound of two sets of heavy footsteps slowly grew louder as the creatures making the noises drew closer. A young girl with a waist-length brown braid dressed in a snug fitting oriental outfit ran through the streets near the Barton's Martial Arts school, an extremely large panda running behind her. "Cut it OUT!" She leapt up and kicked the panda in the stomach, bringing him to a halt. People standing in the streets gawked at the sight of a Giant Panda in the middle of Tokyo. Hushed whispers could be heard as they nervously watched on. The panda stood on his hind legs, facing the girl and glaring. "Your move," the girl taunted him, getting in a defensive position. The panda leapt forward, clawing at the young girl's face. She avoided each swipe, grabbing the paw and flipping the panda on his back, screaming in fury. "This whole thing SUCKS! Picking my fiancee for me, without even ASKING! I'm going back to China. Sit on it, old man!" She picked up her knapsack and walked hastily away. The panda made a comeback, swatting her on the head to knock her down for the count. He picked her up, threw her over his shoulder and snarled at the crowd to scare them away. He then headed for Barton's school. Meanwhile, back inside Barton's Martial Arts, Trowa told his daughters more about Duo. "He and his father have been doing a voyage of training. They recently were at China." "Wow, China!" Relena exclaimed, leaning forward and listening attentively. Hirde snorted. "What's so great about walking to China?" Relena clasped her hands together and squealed, "Is he cute?!" Noin scowled slightly. "How old is he? Younger men are such a bore." Relena and Noin chanted together, "What sort of guy is this Duo anyway?" Trowa chuckled, then stopped altogether and put on a serious face. "I have no idea." "NO IDEA?!" "I've never met him..." A commotion could be heard outside. "Let me GO you old ...!!!" Relena jumped up and squealed, "Ooo! Visitors! It must be Duo! Trowa shouted eagerly, "Yuy, my friend, we've been waiting!" Noin flushed deeply, thinking to herself, 'Gosh, I hope he's an older man...' Hirde flushed slightly, scowling. 'How depressing. Boys!' Trowa and Relena came running towards Hirde and Noin, the large panda with the girl over his shoulder running behind them. The girl yelled at the panda, "Hey! You're scaring them to death!" Noin and Relena yelled at their father. "Is THIS your friend?! Oh right, like this PANDA just decided to visit! Happens ALL the time!" The panda dropped the young girl in front of Trowa, who stared at her before speaking. "You... wouldn't be..." The girl sighed softly. "Duo Maxwell. Sorry about this..." Trowa hugged him tightly. "At last! You've come!" Relena squealed, "Oooo, he's cute!!" Trowa sobbed as he hugged Duo tighter. "So good of you to come! So -" He paused, then pushed Duo back and stared at her, blushing deeply. He raised a finger, and paused. Noin stared, speechless. Relena stepped forward, staring at Duo's chest. "Hmmm..." She poked at Duo's right breast, staring. Duo blushed deeply. "Umm... could you stop that please?" Relena stepped back and scowled. " 'HE' is a she...." ** Cut to outside of the Barton’s School** A wind chime churred softly in the warm afternoon breeze. Trowa lay on his back silently, tears flowing openly down his cheeks. His daughters watched over him intently. “Poor Daddy…” Noin cooed. “What a disappointment he’s faced…” “HE’S disappointed!?” Relena squawked in protest. “What about US?! Some fiance THIS is!” Hirde interrupted her older sisters quietly, but firmly. “Cut it out, guys. He… um, SHE is our guest… so behave appropriately!” Relena grumbled without end. “This is all YOUR fault, Daddy! How could you get such a detail wrong!? I’ll NEVER forgive you!” Trowa spoke up for the first time in a few hours. Anguish and frustration crossed his face as he shouted from the floor, “He said he had a SON!!! How is it MY fault?!” Relena squished Duo’s breasts repeatedly, shouting at her father indignantly, “Do YOU see a SON here? Well? DO you?” Duo squirmed uncomfortably. “Umm… feel free to stop that at any time….” Hirde came over to Duo, flashing her a genuine smile. “Hey, let’s get away from these idiots and check out the practice hall, kay? I’m Hirde. Wanna be friends?” Duo smiled silently, happy to see that there may be one sane Barton after all… **Cut to the Training Hall* “You DO do karate, don’t you?” “Yeah… a little…” Hirde’s eyes perked up. “Then let’s have a little match, shall we?” Duo stared at her blankly, somewhat concerned. “Don’t worry. It’s just for fun! I promise I won’t hurt you.” “If you say so….” Duo murmured. Hirde assumed a fighting pose before swiftly advancing towards Duo. Duo stood motionless, expressionless. ‘A deer in my headlights… what a shame,’ Hirde thought. She thrust her fist forward, shouting as she did so. Duo simply jumped straight up into the air, almost hovering above the floor. Hirde kicked out at her, and Duo spread her legs in response, avoiding another of Hirde’s formulated attacks. Hirde punched and kicked a few more times in vain, Duo deftly avoiding her every trick. “Argh, what’s wrong? Why won’t you swing at me!?” After another serious of empty-promise punches, Hirde paused. ‘Why am I missing her? Can she read into my attacks? Okay, then… this time, it’s for REAL!’ Hirde threw a hard, strong punch, breaking through the wall, but missing Duo, who was once again airborn. Duo landed behind Hirde and tapped her on the shoulder, grinning. Hirde simply turned and stared at Duo’s warm, smiling face. Duo cackled awkwardly, and Hirde responded with her own series of laughter. Hirde cleared her throat nervously. “H…hey… you’re pretty good.. I’m just glad you’re a GIRL.. I mean, I’d really hate to lose to a BOY!” Duo stared silently and sweatdropped. **Cut to scene with the Fat Panda relaxing in a nice, hot bath. Then cut to the outside of Barton School, wind chimes and fortunes still whirring softly in the breeze.** Trowa and Heero sat across from one another on stiff mats, staring at one another while tears flowed openly upon both men’s cheeks. A fan blew quietly on. Relena darted into the kitchen, where Noin was preparing dinner. “Noin? Who IS that guy Daddy’s with..?” Noin’s hands worked effortlessly as she prepared the stunning meal. “Got me.” Hirde’s voice echoed throughout the Barton School. “Duo! Oh, Duuuuuooooo! Come on, wouldn’t you like a nice, hot bath?” Duo was caught off guard. “Huh? Um… no! That is… I’m alright…” “No way!” Hirde insisted vehemently. “You must be all sweaty from our work out!” **Cut to the Barton bathroom** Duo sat in the bathroom and doused herself with a bucket of cold water. “Aggh.. what am I going to do?” She slipped into the hot bath, hoping to relax mind, body, and soul. “Hirde!” Relena called down the hallway, “your bath is awaiting!” “Ah, thanks, Relena!” Duo floated around in the water, nothing to be seen but a brown braid. “Hnnn, what to do…. What to do!” Hirde floated silently into the bathroom, untying her hair and taking off her bathrobe. Duo sat in the water, thinking, ‘Well…. They’re going to have to find out sooner or later, anyway…” Hirde entered the baths just as Duo rose from the hot water. ‘Might as well get out like I am…’ Hirde froze, nude except for the wash cloth she held against her stomach, staring at the strange young man in her bath. Duo froze, staring in horror as sweatdrops poured from his face. After a solid five minutes of silent staring, Hirde backed up, shut the door to the bath, slipped on her robe, and stood outside of the bathroom door. Duo sat back down into the water, shaking. Hirde took a slow, deep breath before screaming at the top of her lungs. “YAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!” The rest of the household froze at Hirde’s shout. Trowa and Heero looked back the hall, dazed and confused. Noin and Relena froze in the kitchen, curious and worried. Hirde barreled down the hallway towards the door, still screaming horrifically as she ran. Outside, she found a large boulder, and lifted it effortlessly. “ARGH! I’ll weigh him down! I’ll DROWN him! I’ll KILL HIM!!!” Relena and Noin reached the door, watching their little sister curiously. “Hirde… what’s that for?” Relena stared at the boulder, dazed by her sister’s temper. “There’s a PERVERT in the BATHROOM!!!!” Hirde shouted, royally pissed and unstoppable. “Why don’t you just kill him with your bare hands?” Relena snorted. “Because I’m SCARED!” Hirde retorted. Noin stood aside from her sisters. “That’s odd…” she said quietly. “Duo was just in the bathroom, I thought…” A sound from the hallway attracted Noin’s eyes. She looked up and stared, dumbfounded. “Uh…” a soft sound escaped her lips. Noin, Relena, and Hirde stood close together, staring. “Wh…who…. Who are YOU?” A very attractive young man dressed in ornate chinese garb stood before the three sisters, one hand behind his long, shiny brown braided locks. His face was deeply flushed as he stood quietly, plainly and painfully humiliated. “Uh… uhmm… I’m.. Duo Maxwell… Sorry about all of this…trouble..” The girls simply stared, spellbound and dumbfounded. *****END of PART ONE! How ‘bout it? I started this fanfic… a LONG time ago… and just decided to finish up this chapter today. Ya see, I was surfing around on anipike, looking for some good smutty fanfics to read… when I realized hey. You just got out of school today. What are you doing looking around for fanfics when half of the sites are down and the other half are horrid? WRITE, DAMN YOU, WRITE!!! And so, I did. And so, here it is. Pure, untainted, Rumiko Takahashi fun. As I said at the beginning of this – I’m sorry that at this point, the plot is totally parallel to Ranma. After the next chapter or two, we can break away, worry not! So, hopefully I’ll be working on chapter two tomorrow or Friday – so expect an update soon! YAY! FUN! Expect a picture in the near future (being within the next two months, heh…), as well! Yay! It’s been so long… I LOVE YOU ALL!!! Email me, I’m lonely! Inspire me! Send me your stories! WHAT A RUSH! See you all soon ^_^ <3, Kitten Maxwell <3 >^-^< |