| Forward – Hi, hi!!! How be all-o-you? Another day, another parallel chapter of my Wing/Ranma crossover!! JOY! I’m sure you’re all too excited to read the actual story, rather than waste your day reading my input… (yeah, right… for all two of you who ever read this ~_^ ) Okay then! Moving on! *clears throat* Okay, now for some very loose legal mumbo jumbo…. Gundam Wing and Ranma 1/2 belong to their respective companies, writers, etc... They are being used for entertainment purposes only and I do NOT claim any rights to them or anything. This story I consider to be my own work however, since there are definitely alterations from any of the original plots. It's not for profit, just for fun on a boring day. So, don't sue me!!! You know the rest - email me at KittenMaxwell2003@sailormoon.com, etc. etc... Enjoy! DUO ¾ (An odd little parody of Ranma ½!) Part 2 – Duo’s Secret **The scene opens with the Barton School sign… once again…** “I’ll explain it one more time,” Trowa Barton said with some exasperation in his voice. He gestured towards Heero, who was seated across from Trowa’s three daughters with his… son…, Duo. “This is my dearest friend..” Trowa started back up again. “Heero Yuy,” Heero rudely interrupted. “And this is my son…” “Duo.” Duo sat next to his father, his hands resting on his knees in tight fists. He was still horribly humiliated from his previous encounter with Hirde. Hirde sat across from him, her hands wrestling with the hem of her dress, glowering at Duo relentlessly. Duo met her eyes directly, looking rather ashamed. She snorted softly, tossing her head away from him snobbishly. Relena and Noin sat stunned, staring at Heero and Duo. “What is this? Are you really that same girl? How can it be…?” Heero scowled, putting his finger to his bowed head to think. “Hmm.. where to start? Oh, I know…. HYAH!!” With his shout of triumph, Heero tossed his son Duo out the door and into the cold waters of the koi pond behind the Barton School. Duo squawked as he plunged into the unusually deep pond. Bubbles rose to the surface in his protest. Duo eventually popped up out of the water, now very much female, her breasts protesting against the coldness of the unexpected evening swim. “What in the hell do you think you are DOING, old man!?” Hirde watched silently while her sisters muttered their surprise. “Huh? Now he’s a girl!” Heero stood, tears streaming down his face, clearly frustrated and highly upset. “Oh… my own son. How humiliating…. So humiliating…” Duo leapt into the air and kicked her father into the pond, and he fell in, still crying, his fist still clenched in anger. The girls watched on, thoroughly confused. The hugely fat panda from earlier in the day rose ominously from the water, glaring at Duo intently. Duo stood with her arms crossed over her abundant chest. “Who are YOU to talk?” she snapped. Noin whispered quietly to her father, Heero. “Daddy… why are you friends with them, again?” “They weren’t like this before!” he protested. “No… not before they went off to China, and took that terrifying training exercise!” **Cut showing the fat panda and female Duo relaxing in a hot bath.** Once again, Heero and son Duo sat across from Trowa’s daughters, with Trowa seated at the head of the conversation. “Aaah, yes,” Heero reminisced. “That was two fateful weeks ago…” **Cut to Mt. Quanjing, Bayankala Range, Quinghai Province, China. A tour guide stands, gesturing to a field full of bamboo poles, beautiful mountains in the background.** “Here are we, sir. The infamous ‘Training Ground of Accursed Springs.’” Duo and Heero stood barefoot, dressed in martial arts robes with large backpacks upon their shoulders. “Are you prepared, son?” Heero’s eyebrow quirked as he stared upon the training grounds. “Bah… this isn’t so impressive!” Duo stood his ground. The tour guide watched as father and son removed their backpacks and prepared themselves. “You both very strange ones, yes? This place very danger. Noone use no longer. Is over one hundred spring here, and every have own legend tragic!” Heero and Duo ignored the man and leapt onto the poles in the springs. “Duo, follow me!” Heero jumped nimbly from pole to pole, his son following effortlessly. “Ah, sirs, what you doing!?” the tour guide shouted from the safety of the shore line. Heero and Duo both stood on a single pole with a single foot, balancing as they faced one another and prepared for attack. Heero stood with his arms and leg spread in a comical ‘hawk’ position, glaring at his son. “I won’t go easy on you, you know.” “Good. That’s how I want it,” Duo stated shortly. Both father and son leapt into the air towards one another, leaving the poor tour guide to scream out at them again. “Please, sirs! Be very bad if fall in spring!” Heero shouted random incoherent battle cries as he flew towards his son at full speed, leg extended to strike. Duo did a handspring off of Heero’s extended leg, flying behind him and kicking him roughly in the back. Heero’s eyes widened as he plunged towards the water. Duo landed nimbly onto a bamboo pole, balancing like a stork as he stared into the accursed water. “Gotcha!” he exclaimed triumphantly. He continued to stare into the water, slowly becoming worried as fewer and fewer bubbles rose from the spring, his father nowhere to be found. “Pop? What’s up? We ain’t done yet, are we? ….Pop?” Silence. Deathly silence. Out of nowhere, the terrifying mammoth Panda flew out of the water and towered over Duo’s head. Duo’s eyes bulged out. “EE-YOW!!!” The immensely fat bear posed on a pole, one tiny, dainty paw somehow managing to suspend his gigantic mass. Duo posed instinctively, standing and muttering to himself. “Wh… wha? Wha? Huh?” The Chinese tour guide shouted from the shore. “That ‘Spring of Drowned Panda!’ There legend tragic, very sad, of panda who drown there two thousand year ago! Now whoever fall in spring take body of panda!” Duo stood sweating. “Oh, no..” he muttered. The massive panda sprung towards him. “Wait a second!” he shouted. “You never said….!” The panda whapped Duo squarely across the chest, thrusting him towards a different spring at maximum velocity. Duo braced himself for what was to come. The tour guide looked on, shouting once again. “Ooooh! Not ‘Spring of Drowned Girl’! There is legend tragic, very tragic, of young girl who drown in spring, one thousand five hundred year ago! Now whoever fall in spring take body of young girl! You see what mean?!” Duo opened his…erm, her robe, and stared, mouth open, at her perky breasts. **Return to the Barton School…** Silence fell over the room. The fortune charms churred in the soft evening breeze. Trowa broke the peace. “The legendary ground of accursed springs.. its true horrors have always been shrouded in the mystery of the past… but now…” Duo snarled. “Bah! Waddya mean, true horror?” He got up and briskly smacked Heero across the top of his head. “What was the idea of draggin me to that kinda place, anyway?” Heero tossed his son into the pond for the second time of the evening. “Fah!” he shouted. “You sound like a WOMAN! Were you not willing to give your life for the sake of your training?” “My life, yes…” Duo spoke softly. “…but… my MANHOOD is a DIFFERENT STORY!” She leapt into the air, tossing a bucket full of cold water upon her father. Fat Panda and young girl kneeled outside, smacking one another in a pathetic hissy-fight. “Oh, what a TRAGEDY!” Trowa sobbed with remorse for the father and son’s demise. Noin rose and shouted at the Panda-Girl pair. “STOP that!” she called out. She turned the fat panda to face her. “You went too far, Mr. Yuy!” Relena crossed her arms and scowled. “Yeah!” she chimed in. “Even for martial arts training!” “What EVER could have made you think of doing something so dangerous!” Noin shouted into the angry panda’s crossed eyes. The panda threw something before the girls. Noin and Relena examined it closely. “Huh.. it’s a chinese map and guide book…?” Relena leaned over her sister’s shoulder. “It says… something about a ‘training ground’…” “No wonder!” Noin exclaimed. “You can’t read Chinese, can you!” The Fat Panda applauded as a party balloon burst over his head, the sign inside reading simply “correct.” Duo smacked him across the back of his big, fat, furry head. Trowa dumped a tea kettle upon the fat panda and stared into his good friend Heero’s face. “So. When hit with hot water.. you return to human form?” Heero stood, scalded, glaring into Trowa’s face. “Well. It needn’t be quite THAT hot….!” Trowa walked across and put his arms on female Duo’s shoulders. “When doused with cold water, you become a girl…” He whipped out another steaming tea kettle from nowhere and proceeded to pursue Duo with it. “… but HOT water turns you back into a BOY!” Female Duo squealed, “In HOT water, not BOILING water!” Trowa burst into deep peals of laughter. He patted female Duo’s slight frame roughly. “Your curse isn’t so bad after all!” he exclaimed. Duo stood blankly, obviously confused. “My daughter, Noin. Nineteen. And Relena. Seventeen. And Hirde. Sixteen. Pick the one you want. She will be your fiancee.” Noin and Relena stepped back, ushering Hirde forward. “Oh, he wants Hirde!” Noin exclaimed. “Yes, definitely!” Relena chanted. Hirde looked about, confused. “Eh? W…wait! You must be JOKING! Why would I be…” Relena got into her little sister’s face. “Well, you hate BOYS, don’t you?” “So you’re in luck!” Noin chimed in. “After all, he’s half GIRL!” “Me? Marry that… PERVERT?!” Hirde shouted. “NEVER!” Female Duo trotted up into Hirde’s face. “Hey, waddya mean, pervert?” “YOU looked at my BODY, pervert!” “HOLD IT!” Duo exclaimed. YOU walked in on ME!” “W…well.. it’s DIFFERENT when a GIRL sees a BOY!” Heero and Trowa stood aside, laughing in a casual embrace. “They’re already a perfect couple!” Hirde whirled around violently. “He’s a COUPLE by HIMSELF!” She turned back to Duo. “And if you EVER…” Duo turned on her heels and stormed towards the door. “Good BYE!” “Where are you going, son?” Heero demanded. “Back to China!” female Duo retorted. “…to find a way to change back for GOOD! This is no time for ‘fiancees.’” She turned her head over her shoulder and gave Hirde a solid, cold glower. “By the way.. YOU took a pretty good look at ME, too. Besides, it’s no big deal for me to see a naked girl… I mean, I’ve seen myself PLENTY of times, right? And I’m BUILT better, to boot!” Duo chuckled as she turned to leave. Hirde landed the full length of the table onto Duo’s body, leaving nothing but his hands untouched. “Now he had THAT one coming!” Heero exclaimed. **Cut to the darkness of night. Random neighborhood animals are making their nightly calls as lights pop on and windows shine into the deep blackness.** Female Duo’s eyes opened slowly. She was resting on a soft mat with a cool washcloth across her head. “Nnn… what?” “Ah, she’s awake!” Noin and Relena perked up as Duo sat up. Duo groaned and rubbed the back of her head. “Are you all right?” Noin asked quietly. “Don’t think too badly of Hirde. She’s really a very sweet young lady… she’s just a violent maniac.” “Right Noin, like that makes a LOT of sense,” Relena rolled her eyes at her elder sister. **Cut to the bathroom. Hirde is seated, rinsing herself off** ‘Why that… that…. Argh! Make a fool out of ME, will he!’ Hirde recalled Duo’s snide look as he posed in his female body, stating, “I’m BUILT better, to boot!” ‘That… that… BOY!’ She seethed with anger. Duo descended the stairs, still rubbing her head. ‘Yeeouch! It still smarts… what kind of a GIRL does she think she is, anyway?’ He recalled her warm face as she said, “Wanna be friends?” ‘ “FRIENDS” she says… hmph!’ Duo walked into the bathroom and bent over the hamper as she peeled off her Chinese garb. ‘So much for “FRIENDS” when she found out I’m a BOY!’ She went to open the door to the steam baths just as Hirde opened it to leave. The two females stood naked in front of one another, just staring for a second. “Uh… uh… uh-oh!” Duo exclaimed. “Why, you…..” Hirde’s face positively glowed with her anger and her aura grew as she glowered at Duo. **Cut to an outside view of the peaceful neighboorhood. The windows of some of the houses shine with lights while others have already turned in for a good night’s sleep. The POW as Hirde whapped Duo a good one could be heard echoing for miles, disturbing the sleepy peace of the town.** Male Duo sat scowling outside, one side of his face a brilliant shade of red darkening to purple. His father Heero sat next to him. “Yeah, so she’s got spunk,” Heero spoke to his son. “That just makes a fiancee CUTER!” “ ‘CUTE’ is NOT the right word…” Duo growled. Hirde could be seen inside, sitting at a table with her sister Relena, sipping tea quietly. “But you were both GIRLS, right? That makes it okay!” Relena tried endlessly to calm her younger sister. “ ‘OKAY’ is NOT the right word…” Hirde seethed. *~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@*~@ Yay! Another day, another chapter! This chapter also paralleled Ranma… but it HAD to! Otherwise you simply would not understand! After one or two more chapters, I can finally shy away from the original plot somewhat… after all, upper classman Kuno has to fall in love with female Duo first… I wonder who he will be? I just gotta use Wufei for shampoo… I mean, who can resist a poor little Chinese boy in a dress? *evil cackle* As soon as I have time to contemplate my next casting decisions, you shall receive a third chapter! ‘Till then! <3 always, Kitten Maxwell --- KittenMaxwell2003@sailormoon.com >^-^< |