| Cliva Dea, an unknown MP from a unknown party revolutionised the world yesterday with her new brilliant ideas that will bring politics crashing into the 21st century. Cliva Dea is the MP for North West Berkshire and committed member of the Small Raving Looney Party (SRLP). SRLP is a spin off of the Monster Raving Looney Party that departed when the Monster Raving Looneys started to pursue the stupid policies of ordinary politics rather than continue the party's tradition of providing sensible policies amid the confusion of everyday life. Cliva Dea has represented her constituants for 5 years now and she has noticed something. "Political parties often promise something for very little and this helps them win votes, but what I propose outshines that. Basically what I propose is something for nothing." Cliva Dea's ideas certainly do seem unique; nobody has ever actually proposed something for absolutely nothing before in politics. "I just thought," Miss Dea said "that it is about time politics caught up with science. With the recent suggestion of time travelling computers by Todd Brun* it seems that science is already offering something for nothing and it is about time politics caught up." |
| The idea is simple, if elected the SRLP will cut taxes to 0% of salary and continue to improve public services by increasing investment. Many people believe this to be impossible, however, today Cliva Dea explained to The Snow. "There is no paradox involved, the money just comes from nowhere. It may not sound satisfactory but it is logically consistent." It is the logical consistency that rates this plan above the recent Tory announcements that they would be able to cut taxes if in power. "The Conservatives will reduce taxes by cutting spending," Cliva Dea says. "However it seems almost obvious that by cutting spending public services will get worse. What we intend is far more logical. We don't cut spending and we reduce taxes, everyone wins." When asked about borrowing Cliva Dea said "We are 100% against borrowing and we stand by the comments we made when Gordan Brown announced the new Government borrowing figures. A SRLP party would not borrow any money, we would reduce taxes to zero and increase spending." However even Cliva Dea admits that there are problems. "Of course what we propose is impossible and probably always will be. It is however, still a good idea, and one nobody has proposed it before." |
| By C. Lee |
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| "Where did the blueprints originate? The answer is nowhere."* |
| * New Scientist, 21/28 December 2002, Past master p64-65, Stephen Battersby |