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| BRAIN PUKE |
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| Ms. Jennifer's Diary |
| I always thought that online diaries were strickly in the realm of geekdom. Maybe they still are, and I've just become a dork; I prefer to think that my Brain Puke is way cooler than some "today my mom yelled at me and I was so mad that I ran up to my oh-so-gothic black painted room and played playstation and then my dad came home and got me up the bum. Oh, and then I was grounded." kind of thing....But, even if it's not, it pleases me to do it and that's really the only thing that matters. So there. |
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| April 4, 2003 |
| ACDC WILL GIVE US PEACE |
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| New entries only on this page, For more Brain Puke, click below |
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| If yer so inclined to want any of these meandering prose, ask. |
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| I cannot stop watching this war. I am obsessed by it. Why am I obsessed? I can't explain it - could be cause it's everywhere, but I enjoy an existence free of outside influences normally, as I have no T.V, and wouldn't listen to the radio if you paid me. No, I am seeking out all information regarding this spectacle that I can stand.There is something so fundamentally wrong and bullying about it, I cannot help but suck up every bit of half-truth regarding it that I can; at the same time it makes me ill. I know that the majority of what I read on "news" sites is pure censored crap, so I seek out every view possible but it's all the same, really. Images of death and destruction: Crying families, parents and children sobbing with the knowledge that all is lost. Everything is gone for these people, the ones whose homes are burning and families dead. To top it off, there are cameras being shoved in their faces to record for civilized society the brute pain that they feel, that most people here in comfortable old Canada will never come close to knowing. We rape the most private moments of despair with a flash and a click. And yet, that is their only weapon of defence; to hope that people with some privilege see these pictures and videos and want to help, but the people who can help, who have some $way see nothing. The rest of us can't turn away. We know there must be some greater rule of reason somewhere in the universe that should be kicking in about now. There must be something we can do to help it along... But, what is there to do? Nothing. There is nothing that will ever change ol’ dubbya’s mind about this: goddamit, he’ll prove to his daddy and to the world that he has the biggest! Even though the U.S and every other country of consequence have weapons of unbelievable destruction, for some reason Saddam is evil because he might. Because Osama can't be found. Because the people who die are brown. Really, I think it’s the self righteousness of bush that keeps me obssessed; the way he, like every president before him, changes the rules to suit himself but can’t allow anyone else do that. So many examples exist it’s almost stupid to name them, but there’s the free trade agreements, the landmine treaty, any military action, war crimes, oh, and nukes. A more classic example of one bully controlling a mass of apathetic and afraid bums I’ve never seen: the opposition, instead of pulling together and using the strength of numbers to knock him the fuck out just lamely says “Hey now, do you think you should be doing that?” NO! Fucking stop him then, he is waging an illegal war that even the pope is against, and if anyone has a history of being happy to go to war to force others to do as they do, it’s the Christians. Crusades ring a bell? Argh. Even the hippies eventually stood up and got their voices heard between LSD and hardcore rabbit sex.... |
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| CHRISTIANS AND BULLIES April 6, 2003 |
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Well kiddies, it’s been far too long since the last time I wrote; in fact, the thought of putting words into coherent sentences has seemed a daunting task indeed lately, and too much of a commitment for me to make. It’s hard to say why this happens from time to time but it does – maybe I’m just lazy, or too busy; whatever the cause, it always winds up that I begin to feel a little crazed once too much time has gone by without writing and so here I am. The problem is I just don’t have much to say. My life has been fairly routine as of late, work, sleep yadda yadda yadda. Went to bellydancing class last night and came home feeling very sexy, sultry and tired; it’s an interesting thing to learn. As we sway and shimmy around in our long skirts and belly tops with the East Indian drum beat blaring above the eighties hits the rest of the gym is listening to, I notice a number of curious heads peeking in all through the class; it can be a little unnerving to have some muscle head guy leering at you as you learn to swivel your hips perfectly, I have to admit. People don’t quite know what to make of the whole concept - it’s fun to see the amused look on friend’s faces as you tell them “Sorry, I’m going to be late for belly dancing! Talk to ya later.” All awkwardness aside, learning this ancient dance is very cool. Seldom are women told that it’s ok to thrust your pelvis forward repeatedly, or stick out your chest and shake it all around but damn, is it ever great. The teacher has these scarves with beads and bells all over them that we tie around our hips for extra effect and the end result tends to make me feel like I’m in training to be a harem girl, which is delicious. Possibly the sexist thing about belly dancing is the fact that you are totally encouraged to allow your curves to lead you, and as you become transfixed by the mirrored image of yourself moving, snakelike and full of soft edges, somehow the self consciousness slips away and in its place comes a new seductiveness that assures you. Of course, some of the moves seem silly and awkward when practised alone but as they all come together in what you hope is a flowing smoothness they seem to take on a whole new meaning. Plus, I get to watch cute girls in crop tops! |
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| June 5, 2003 |
| DANCING WITH MY BELLY |