This week Posts
Getting divorced just
because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you
do.
A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean
your mother.
The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer
shawl and a skullcap will not bar a man from the White House...... unless, of course, the
man is Jewish.
He may have hairs on his chest; but, sister, so
has Lassie.
I wanted to be an atheist, but I gave it up. They
have no holidays.
Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put
your money in your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.
The remarkable thing about my mother is that for
thirty years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
Liberals feel worthy of their possessions.
Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Automatic simply means that you can’t repair
it yourself.
Laughter is an orgasm triggered by the intercourse
of reason with unreason.
A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming
out of an economic illness."
- George W. Bush. (He meant to say
"antidotes.")
Marriage is a wonderful institution. But who wants
to live in an institution?
I don't want to achieve immortality through my
work, I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't
have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
In this life all that I have is my word and my
balls and I do not break them for nobody.
Too bad that all the people who know how to run
this country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair.
You know that look women get when they want sex? .
. .Me neither.
A psychiatrist is a man who goes to a strip
club and watches the audience.
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