| No Lady and Her Tramp Kristie Leigh Maguire & Mark Haeuser An Adult Romantic Comedy |
| No Lady and Her Tramp is reminiscent of the TV show Married with Children – minus the children and in a different setting. No Lady and Her Tramp will have you rolling in the aisles as you follow the exploits of the residents of President Park, the trailer park to top all trailer parks. Beth Ann Dixon buys herself a computer and decides to write a steamy erotic novel. Her husband, Billy Ray, can’t do much of anything right, not even shoot a gun. Janet Higgins is the resident Peeping Tom - and Troy Finkmyer is the guy we all love to hate. Everybody gets into the act and there are showdowns all over Grapevine - Grapevine, Kentucky that is. Shirley Snodgrass is the local gossip columnist for the Grapevine Gazette and records it all in her column, ‘I Heard It Through the Grapevine’. You’ll laugh, you’ll cheer, and you may even shed a tear -- as you read No Lady and Her Tramp by Kristie Leigh Maguire and Mark Haeuser. |
| Page copyright @ 2003 Kristie Leigh Maguire |
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| Buy Now at Amazon.com or order from your local bookstore ISBN: 0-9742161-1-9 |
From Barnes&Noble.com Site Clete, a serious reader of fun! 5 Stars Beyond words in the laughter department!!!! This was one of the best books I have ever read. Married with children could only have wished they were this funny!!!! I just pictured every event as it happened. These authors kick the rear ends of anyone else who has tried to write this style of entertainment. I bet some Hollywood types are knocking on their doors right now!!! Well done!! |
| Love! Trailer Park Style! |
| 5 Stars HOT! HOT! HOT! Down and dirty, and one of the funniest books I have read in a long time. The steamy, very descriptive sex in No Lady and Her Tramp puts Harold Robbins’ books to shame. The one thing Mr. Robbins’ books did not have is the humor that illuminates in this work of art. This story is one woman’s accounting of the trials, tribulations, and antics of her life, and all of the other colorful characters that live in a trailer park. Today it is not politically correct, but many years ago we would have called these characters that exist in the President’s Trailer Park, ‘Trailer Trash’. You may find the palms of your hands sweat, among other things, from the titillating sex that fill the pages. You will also find yourself laughing aloud, as humor runs consistently throughout the book. These two authors, Kristie Leigh Maguire and Mark Haeuser, by putting their talents together, have written a very funny book laced with pure, unadulterated steam. After reading No Lady and Her Tramp, I certainly hope they corroborate on many more books. Reviewed by Bobby Ruble, author of Have No Mercy |
| 5 Stars This is the funniest book I have ever read. Only someone who has lived in a "trailer park" would know that such activities are not all that far-fetched. Whether it's the guy you love to hate, or the gal you laugh at until there are tears running down your cheeks, it's a laugh a page. And you have to love a happy ending--even in Grapevine, USA. Janet Elaine Smith, author of House Calls From The Past and other best selling novels. |
| Review by Joan Moore Lewis, author of Southern Fiction 5 Stars The Epitome of Trailer Trash! Kristie Leigh Maguire and Mark Haeuser, authors of No Lady and Her Tramp, have done an excellent job of placing a number of rowdy characters in one location called President Park Trailer Court in Grapevine, Kentucky. These characters are not unlike some people we encounter in everyday situations who will not literally sock you in the jaw, clobber you with a skillet, or shoot at you from the porch, but their aims are the same as those displayed by Beth Ann, the aspiring author; Billy Ray, her beer drinking husband with a cheating heart; Shirley Snodgrass, the gossip columnist; and Troy Finkmyer, the neighbor whose actions speak louder than words. Boys will be boys, but not quite as often and not as potentially deadly as the actions of Billy Ray, Troy, and their neighbors. There is a lot of beer drinking, and as you probably have already guessed, caravans of police cars with sirens blasting. All this commotion is disruptive to several bedroom scenes, and to Beth Ann who has bought herself a computer and is determined to write a novel. Meanwhile, Beth Ann is being observed by everyone in town. Her husband follows her, the local newspaper columnist writes about her, and the resident Peeping Tom snoops around her home. In spite of all the hilarious drama that is taking place, Beth Ann keeps plodding away on her novel. I just loved the way she stayed on course, no matter what! She surprises herself, her husband, and her neighbors when the book is a success. No Lady and Her Tramp was an enjoyable and comical read. |
| Interview with Kristie & Mark Selling Writing Online |
| I wanted to congratulate you on the success of your new book - it has to be doing good. I laughed my ass off when I read it (which I did in just two days, which may be a new all-time record for me, at least these days). Ed Williams - author of "Rough As A Cob" |
| 5 Stars No Lady And Her Tramp Is GREAT! Just when you think you know what is going to happen... You're Wrong!!! There is a little surprise just around the corner... you just never know what is going to happen in President Park! I am a lover of Redneck and Romance stuff... and this book puts BOTH together like you wouldn't believe!!! Epstein LaRue - author of Crazy Thoughts of Passion |
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| If you haven’t yet read, No Lady and her Tramp, do so. Do so right now. Read it for the romance. Read it for the comedy. No matter why you pick it up, you won’t put it down until you finish. It’s peopled by the zaniest set of characters to ever inhabit a southern trailer park. When Mark Haeuser and Kristie Leigh Maguire team up, it proves once again that the sum total of their talents surpasses even their individual accomplishments. Jeff Foxworthy must have had Beth Ann and Billy Ray in mind when he coined the phrase, "You must be a redneck". Kathleen Walls, Author Last Step www.katywalls.com/laststep.htm Georgia's Ghostly Getaways www.katywalls.com/ggg.htm |
| Buy autographed copy directly from Kristie $12.95 plus s/h |
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| No Lady now available as E-Book - $4.95 |
| No Lady and Her Tramp Reviewed by: Patti Fleishman for Romance Junkies Blue Ribbon Rating: 5 So, you think you can just pull up a chair and sit yourself down and write a steamy romance novel, heh? Well, that’s exactly what Beth Ann Dixon plans on doing; and don’t you dare tell her otherwise. Well, there is one thing she needs in order to do this writing stuff and that’s a computer. Even with her busy schedule, as owner and head hair stylist at Kut-N-Kurl and her husband Billy Ray working as a mechanic at the local auto repair, she just can’t see her way through to purchasing that necessary item. Of course, when you least expect it, the winnings can be high when you’re a regular at Wednesday night bingo at St. John’s Catholic Church. Beth Ann desperately wants to get away from Grapevine, Kentucky and the President Trailer Park where she and Billy Ray live. There’s no way she’s going to stay there for the rest of her life and live with those people. Those people being her very nosy neighbors. She and Billy Ray can’t do anything without them knowing their business. Of course, the private lives of her peeping acquaintances aren’t so private either with Beth Ann watching every move they make. One neighbor Beth Ann can do without is Shirley Snodgrass. Her claim to fame while living in President Trailer Park, is her long-standing gig as a gossip columnist with the “Grapevine Gazette”. Her little slice of rumor mill heaven is known as “I Heard It Through The Grapevine” and tells the sordid details of the lives of many of the residents of the trailer park. Most of these tidbits of information come from Shirley’s great undercover work – undercover meaning under the cover of darkness. One of the most mentioned guests in Shirley’s column happens to be Beth Ann who wants nothing better than to get back at Shirley. Then, there’s crazy, destructive Troy Finkmyer and his meek wife, Mary Jo. Troy drives a taxi for a living. He also has quite an interesting side life, too, that caters to many of the local women. Mary Jo, whom everyone feels sorry for, seldom ventures out of her tiny metal home. There are a multitude of secrets behind those walls, some of which are better left unknown. Billy Ray enjoys his free time drinking beer at the “Amtrak” and flirting with the women who are always giving him the eye. That’s the one thing that bothers Beth Ann. Even though they are still in love after all of these years, the sparks have dwindled. She aims to rekindle those and make fireworks. With her trusty computer and an internet connection, Beth Ann winds her way around the cyber world. One of her finds is Stefan, the world’s best lover. He knows all about women and how to make them happy. One of his greatest pleasures is sharing his wealth of knowledge in the ways of romance and steamy seduction with Beth Ann. Armed with her highly overzealous imagination and her desire to be rich and famous, Beth Ann types her little heart out. What happens next will have you wondering about your own neighbors. Whenever you see them watching you and smiling, you’ll wonder just what they know, what they have seen, or what they’ve ever heard about you. Kristie Leigh Maguire and Mark Haeuser have outdone themselves with this unique story. I was hooked from the first page. Even through the more serious moments, I was drawn into their vividly presented world of President Trailer Park and Grapevine, Kentucky. There is something for everyone in NO LADY AND HER TRAMP. It has humor, mystery, steamy moments, and an interesting cacophony of characters. |