Kurei's Valentine's Day Teshigahara Chikafusa-kun Fanfic Writer, Mokuren-Lover Extrordinaire

"Kureiiiiii!!!!!!!!" Neon's velvet voice rang out through the house.

Kurei cursed silently, he knew that voice meant he would have to endure some of Neon's oh-so-cruel torture. It was probably another long shopping trip with an obese bill.

"My dear Kurei! There you are!" Neon skipped into the room. She gave her most innocent smile. "Today is Valentine's Day and you WILL take me for dinner."

"How about at the classy place downstairs in the dining room?" Kurei replied with a grin.

"NO! At the new French restaurant."

Before the hapless flamecaster could answer, Neon pulled him out of his chair and dragged him to the closet. She proceeded to rip off his uglyscarlet cloak and stuffed him into an elegant lounge suit jacket and strangled him with a blue polka-dot bow tie.

"Oh my lord…" Kurei muttered as he stared at his handsome reflection. "I look terrible. If anyone sees me like this my reputation will be ruined!"

"Ohhhh, you're soooo cute. I love it. Let's go." Neon lead Kurei by the ears down the stairs.

As the couple sped to dinner, Raiha, who was chauffeur for the evening, was trying hard not to burst into uncontrollable laughter as he looked at his unfortunate master in the back, squirming in agony.

"Kurei, what would you like?" Neon peered from over the menu to the sour faced Kurei.

"How would I know?" Snapped the sullen Kurei was he slumped in the leather-covered chair. "Do I read French?"

"Awww…. Never mind that, I'll order for you." Neon grinned cheekily.

"Oh, it's fried pig's tongue in red wine." Neon managed to reply even with her mouth crammed full of crispy foie gras. "It's really good."

"Yeah, good for committing suicide." Kurei gulped. He was far too young to die.

4 courses later, Kurei was pale from the expensive French poisons which Neon had force fed him.

"Kurei," Neon asked in her sweetest voice, blinking innocently. "Don't you have anything for me? Today is Valentine's Day."

"Oh… Ermmm…."

"Are you sure you have nothing?" Neon's voice was suddenly very threatening.

"Whoops, I have to go to the gents." Kurei scooted off quickly to avert

a homicide in the restaurant.

Raiha was jerked out of his snooze. "Oh, Master Kurei. Are you ready to leave?"

"Find me a Valentine's Day gift for Neon now or you'll be have to collect my corpse from the morgue tomorrow." Kurei ordered the amused ninja. "I don't care what it is, just make it expensive."

When Kurei returned, Neon was furious enough to butcher her fiancé.

"What's that behind your back?" She asked as Kurei clumsily tried to conceal the tiny package behind him.

"Happy Valentine's Day." Kurei said awkwardly as he passed her the neatly wrapped little parcel. He wasn't used to saying things like that.

Neon eagerly tore opened the wrapping and got a lovely shock. Sitting in the burgundy box embossed with 'Les Must de Cartier' was a large sparkling 8-carat diamond ring.

"Oh Kurei! Of course I'll marry you!" Neon exclaimed to the wide-eyed Kurei and hugged him.

"ARGH!! WHY DID YOU GET HER A RING?!!"

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