GLACIER

Summary: Post NFA. Buffy wants Angel back in her life but he isn't listening. She also needs his help to cross the dimensions to rescue Faith. Will he help?
Rating: PG-13
Author Notes: Not Fade Away was so inspiring that I couldn't let these amazing characters die in that alley.
Story Notes: No spoilers for those who have seen the Series Finale. I have kept to canon and this is a few years in the future.
Disclaimer: All Hail to Joss and ME and FOX. I do not own these heroes I only wish I did. I have no money and will not be making any from this fic.

She had given up hope, buried it deep down inside with all her other wishes, when the call came. He had been seen, back in L.A. Lorne had called to leave a message and Buffy hadn’t been in the country so didn’t receive it for another week. So hurriedly completing her business she caught the first plane out to California. As the plane flew west she wondered what she would say to him. Wondered why she was even going to find him. The love they had shared was surely dust in the wind, wasn’t it? Then why was she here in the seat her heart racing at the thought of meeting up with him again? And if she did still love him, did he still return that love? Had it survived all that had happened? She waved away the food the attendant brought. Her stomach couldn’t handle a bite right now.

The ride from the airport seemed to take forever; the queue at the arrival had already frayed her nerves. Thankfully the cabbie was the silent type so she sat with her jaw-clenched ready to scream at another red light. When the taxi stopped she wrestled her case from the back seat and threw some money his way, not caring if the tip was too big or small. The sign over the entrance invited and she flew down the stairs to the smoky interior. Her step didn’t falter when she found herself in a place that harboured demons. She was used to weirder than this.

Music drew her eyes to the stage and she discovered Lorne at the mike, his dulcet tones soothing the savage beast or demons as the case may be. He saw her too and winked and nodded at a table nearby and Buffy gratefully hauled her case and body over there and sat. The room retreated as weariness settled in and Buffy yawned widely, not bothering to be ladylike at all.

Perhaps a nap was in order she thought and her head drooped a little.

“Hey pussycat!”

Her hazel eyes snapped open and she smiled wanly at the green demon with the red eyes.

“Hey, yourself.”

“Drink?” The demon waved his glass towards the bar.

“No thanks.” God she was tired and a drink would just send to her to gaga land. “Where is he?”

Lorne took a seat at her table and her frown he just blew off. “Now, now. I think that a good nights sleep is in order.”

“It’s the middle of the day!” she protested wondering if Lorne could read her mind.

“All the more reason to nap now. You won’t find HIM running around in the middle of the day.”

Lorne made sense but she wouldn’t go without a fight. She wasn’t one to be bossed around that easily even if the advice was good.

“I guess but I didn’t come all this way to sleep.”

The Pylean looked over the petite, pretty blonde, saw the determination in her eyes but also noted the weariness.

“No but I’m telling you honey buns, you could pack your case into those bags you’ve got under your eyes.” His fingers waggled towards her face.

She pulled back horrified. “Bags? Have I got bags?”

As she dived into her bag for a mirror, Lorne’s green hand closed over hers. “Come on sweetie, I’ll show you to the guest room. You can catch a few Zs and be fresh to go out later on. How’s about it?” He smiled his most friendly smile, which on a green demon could be a little frightening.

The slayer stopped rummaging and her shoulders slumped in defeat. “I guess a nap couldn’t hurt. I am a little jet lagged.”

“That’s the spirit.” Lorne rose and finished off his drink in one gulp. He put down the glass and picked up the case at the girl’s feet.

“Come on. Are you hungry? Can I get you anything?” He asked as Buffy got to her feet and followed him out of the bar and down the hall.

“No thanks, I’m good.”

He showed her to a tastefully appointed room that was small but cosy. She looked at the bed and turned to her host.

“Thankyou Lorne-this is- I cannot tell you-”

“You’re welcome sweet cheeks. Just get some rest and I’ll see you later.” Lorne turned and as he went to pull the door behind him added in an almost whisper, “It’s the least I can do for him.”

Buffy gazed at the closed door as a lump formed in her throat. He had friends who cared for him. Who stood by him. Could the same be said of her? Sighing heavily, she swallowed and kicking off her shoes, lay down on the bed. The world faded away before she knew it.

Buffy’s eyes snapped open in alarm before she remembered where she was. She was safe in Lorne’s home, in Los Angeles so no need to panic. Buffy stretched and sat up. Her watch said ten past eight. What? She had slept seven hours? Buffy stood and stepped lightly to a door set into the bedroom wall and was grateful to find it opened to a small bathroom.

Not much room to swing a cat, but it had the essentials. The slayer stripped down for a welcome shower and was glad to get out of her rumpled clothes. A quick pee and her toothbrush having seen the inside of her mouth, a fresh shirt, underwear and jeans, Buffy was ready to face the world. She shrugged into a light jacket and went to the mirror.

“Come in,” she called at the knock at her door as she brushed her hair.

Lorne peeked in carrying a glass of juice and a delicious looking sandwich.

“Thought you might be up.” He held out his offerings. “Did you want to eat now or shall we ignore the body’s demands?”

“Thankyou Lorne.” She took the food and drink and sat back on the bed. She took a bite of the sandwich and a gulp of fruit juice.

“This is good, I must’ve been more hungry than I realised.” She took another large bite.

Lorne leaned against the wall watching her devour her meal. She looked better than when she had arrived he thought.

“Is your club always this busy?” She chewed quickly.

“Oh! You mean before in the middle of the day. Yeah, it can be. Demons have different sleep cycles as you know,” he smirked, “ so I do the best I can to accommodate them.”

“It must be a tie for you.”

He crossed his arms. “It can be, but I get out when I can. And if you’re going to ask me to take you to places last seen- the answer is, no.”

Buffy swallowed her last morsel noisily. “No?”

“No.” He straightened. “This is something you have to do alone.” He stuck his thumb towards his bright yellow suited chest. “I don’t blend into the background well, and sugar, you won’t find what you’re looking for with me tagging along.” Besides he didn’t know if Angel wanted to see him after their parting words.

Lorne saw acceptance in the girl’s eyes and softened his attitude. “He needs you.”

Buffy drank the last of her juice and stood holding out the plate and glass to her host. “Are you sure?”

“Sing for me.”

“Excuse me?”

“I can read auras when people sing or hum a tune. Sing for me.”

Buffy flushed in embarrassment. “You don’t want to hear me sing.”

“If I can put up with Angel’s singing, I can stand anything.” Lorne chuckled at the memory.

“Angel can sing?” She didn’t know that.

“No he can’t. So loosen those pipes and let me have it.”

Buffy hedged. “What song?”

Lorne sighed. “Anything, it doesn’t matter. Just need the music.”

“Okay.” Buffy thought furiously for a moment. “Here goes.” She frowned. “And no laughing.”

Lorne nodded and waited.

Buffy sang a line of “You are my Sunshine.” What? It’s all she could think of under pressure.

Buffy stopped nervous now, not knowing if she wanted to know her future all of a sudden. At least the demon wasn’t laughing.

“Yah ha.”

“What do you mean, yah ha?”

“I mean that YOU need to do this. Find him and you may find yourself.” Lorne rattled the plate and glass as he turned towards the door.

“That’s it? I sing and that’s all you give me?” Buffy huffed as she opened her case and withdrew Mr Pointy.

“Now sugar pie.” Lorne pleaded not liking the stake in the slayers’ hand as she joined him at the door. “It’s all I can give you. The future is not so clear-cut. It’s up to you. You can change it. But this is a path you need to follow- for your sake and his.”

He sighed in relief as she tucked it away inside her jacket. “Let me get a map and point you in the right direction.”

Los Angeles was a huge city. It sprawled for miles and miles and for that reason the blonde slayer was relieved that she had taken a taxi to the other side of town. It was easy to get lost here even though this had been her hometown originally, years ago.

The vampire had been seen over two weeks ago and Lorne wasn’t sure if he was still in town. So patrolling the dark streets of L.A., in the business district of town was just dandy, she thought. There were people about, it wasn’t too late for restaurants and movie theatres, and the clubs were just cranking up, the factories silent for the night. A good time for vamps to be out looking for easy pickings. Buffy wandered about, not worried about her own safety as she searched for trouble. She dusted a couple of vampires she found lurking in an alley, not even working up a sweat. She hoped to catch a glimpse of another shadow gliding past in the night but she hoped in vain. The dark didn’t offer up its secret and she returned to Lorne’s club in the pre dawn hour exhausted and disappointed.

Lorne allowed her the luxury of sleeping the day away and she emerged to a club in full swing. He had a coffee waiting for her and this she drank at the bar as she filled him in on last nights’ activities.

Finishing her last drop, she eyed the crowded room and prepared to leave.

“I’ll grab something to eat on the way.” Buffy didn’t want Lorne fussing although she could see he was good at being a mother hen.

Lorne watched her go and wished her luck. This was the legendary Slayer. The Chosen One! The One that The Vampire with a Soul loved. Correction. Two Vampires with a Soul loved. He hoped that he had made the right decision in contacting her. But hearing her sing? He knew of the two, which Vampire with a Soul she loved back.

Three nights later.

He felt his fist sink into the soft underbelly of the demon he was trying to kill. His axe was lying somewhere off in the dirty alley behind it and the vampire had to retrieve it if he wanted this thing dead. He knew many of the demon species by sight but this one was new to him. Once upon a time he had someone to research such things but not tonight. The trouble with having one’s fist in another’s gut was that you tended to get hit. And he did, the demon’s large claws clipped his head and he spun away his head ringing. He kept rolling as his opponent advanced and blinked rapidly trying to focus. He knew he had rolled into something disgusting as the smell hit his sensitive nose but he used it to his advantage and grabbed the dead decaying thing and flung it at demon boy.

It gave him time to get to his feet and run up the side of the wall and somersault over the beast to access his axe. The demon grunted in dismay and wiped the offending piece of trash off his facial tentacles and turned to finish off the vampire who was suddenly before him with his axe. The demon’s arm went up to prevent the downward slash of the blade and he lost the limb in the powerful stroke. He howled in pain and doubled over clutching at his stump not caring or seeing the blade flash up to take his head.

The body and its parts lay at his feet and the vampire stood panting from the exertion, not from need but from the thrill of battle. It was almost the only thing that he lived for now, the hunt, the battle. The ringing in his head was reduced to a dull ache; the slash across his chest was already beginning to heal. He stood contemplating the carcass when an almost familiar tingle crept up the back of his neck. He didn’t turn to look around; he accepted the idea that there was a slayer in the vicinity. There were many now and he had to be careful. Slay now ask questions later seemed to be the rule and thus he avoided slayers- usually.

Keeping his senses alert the vampire finally decided the dumpster would do for disposal. It was large enough and it meant he wouldn’t have to haul this thing over to the sewer entrance. He leaned down and wiped the axe on the demon’s clothing before lifting the body with one hand and dragged it a couple of feet to the dumpster. He lifted the lid axe in hand and hefted the carcass over and into the bin. He strode back looking under his brows for trouble lurking and seeing none picked up the arm and head and threw those in with the body. He slammed the lid shut and quickly left the area, the demon already forgotten. The fact that he had intercepted the demon as it had tried to snatch a pedestrian earlier and have her for dinner was part of his regular evening activities. One more life saved, an infinite number to go. That was his life or un-life now.

Buffy watched him go and waited a few moments before following. She was sure that he would feel that tingly sense of her when she was near. Once upon a time he had. He had always known whenever she was near just as she could sense him. She thought for a moment that he had and was about to look for her, he hadn’t and the disappointment she felt hit deeper than it should have. It had been years after all since they last spoke, what was she expecting? So she followed at a distance relieved to have finally found him. To see him in action, fighting with such grace and beauty, he had taken her breath away; again. She had forgotten how beautiful he was and that distance had allowed her to move on with her life.

The vampire knew that he was being followed, his senses were on red alert but he didn’t deviate from his course. The demon in the alley had been a side issue, an unforseen one but a champion had to save the helpless right? So he continued on his way through the city his axe hidden in the folds of his coat. Passers by didn’t give him a second glance although he was hard to see slipping in and out of the shadows. His stalker had no such trouble even when he took to the rooftops to test her veracity, for he was sure now it was a slayer and as everyone knows, slayers are always female. He scanned the roof behind him for a glimpse of anything unusual and found none. His senses picked her up when he regained the pavement below. She was good.

Casually he stepped into his destination. The room quietened for a second as the occupants checked him out, a few wrinkled their nose at the smell and then they turned back to their own business. He was just another vampire looking for fun. His keen eyes picked out the three humans and his nose told their story. They were human pets, donors who gave their blood freely for favours and for the sexual gratification. The bite from a vampire could be quite erotic if done right. He could see the bite marks on skin that was bared hoping to entice. This was a bar of sorts if one was tempted to alcohol but the main business of the night seemed to be money. There was money changing hands and stolen property bartered. Hmmm! Vampires and money? It wasn’t as if it hadn’t happened before. This was an organised operation and he was here to close it down. He scanned the room and counted seven vampires, no other demons. Good. Vampires dusted easily, demons took a bit longer.

The human female slid up to him baring her neck and tried draping her body against his. He sidestepped her and she staggered a little before pouting her way to another. The table in the corner entertained four vamps which looked at him suspiciously as he approached.

“Wait your turn,” the ugly one growled. Whatever happened to siring the young and pretty?

“Sorry. No can do.” He leaned down and gripped the edge of the table. Four faces looked up to his.

The ugly one started to his feet and faced. “I said-”

He didn’t get to finish as the vampire on a mission took advantage of the movement to push violently down on the table upending it and the edge hit the still sitting vamps, money flying everywhere. Two stakes appeared as if by magic in his hands and two vampires dusted. Ugly was next and number four kicked the table up and away but he was ready for that. He had already started his move by turning his body and reaching for his axe inside his coat. The room was in an uproar. The humans dived screaming for cover as the four remaining vampires came to their feet snarling. He twirled his axe in his right hand, a stake in the other and waited. Number four was the first to reach him and the axe took his head in a blink as he revolved around to face the other three. They spread out confident that he was outnumbered. The grim reaper peered out through his eyes and he allowed a cold smile to form.

As one all three vampires attacked. His axe missed as its’ target ducked and managed to land a blow to his ribs. His stake didn’t and dust rained as another attacked. He swung the axe again at the only vampire to land a blow but he was unbalanced by a kick to his leg. He adjusted the trajectory of the swing as he elbowed the vamp away and took the leg off the other one. The injured vampire screamed a mixture of growls and howls as he fell to the floor and he was ignored in favour for his companion who was still standing. The humans were terrified and silent as they watched from their hiding holes.

The other vampire backed away hands in the air. “Hey man! Take the money-whatever. It’s yours.”

It then leaped for the door using preternatural speed but the vampire with a soul was faster. The stake was flung with accurate force and it was dust. Taking pity on the groaning vampire at his feet his axe took the head and it dusted. He looked about.

“Business is closed.” He stepped towards the door.

“What about us?” His head turned to the human pet whose head was peeking over the bar.

“Who’s gonna look after us now huh?” The girl squeaked.

He never bothered with an answer; he no longer had it in him.

He knew she was waiting as he stepped out into the night. This alley was wider and cleaner than most but it still offered innumerable hiding places. He made to walk away when she spoke.

“Angel.”

The soft half whisper almost made him stop and she had to step in his path to still his steps.

She was as lovely as he remembered but he couldn’t think that. Not now.

Buffy had followed her vampire to the business premises the vampires ran. At least the alley was clean and wide enough to allow a vehicle if necessary, more of a lane way then. She had waited outside knowing he could handle himself. When the fighting started she had peered through the door in case she was needed and marvelled at his prowess. He was a machine, silent, deadly and worked with a precision that decimated the vampires within. Buffy wondered at the silence. Where was the wit, the banter that she used to love?

Now she stood before him and he still had yet to speak. She shifted nervously when no reply seemed forthcoming.

She tried a different tack. “Surprise?”

He stood motionless, his eyes never blinking. This was ridiculous. She put her hands on her hips.

“Angel. Aren’t you going to say hello?”

She got a reaction then but not one she expected. He stepped away from her and walked away. Buffy’s eyes widened. Angel had walked away, from her, without a word. She turned and caught a glimpse of his coat hem flicking around the corner.

Well she couldn’t just leave it at that. This time she would keep the distance, tail him from afar. Far enough so that he wouldn’t catch a hint of her slayer-ness. Her short legs carried her in haste to the street and when she turned right there was no sign of him. Damn! She had always wished for longer legs so that she could see above other people’s heads. The street was nearly deserted at this late hour or early as the case may be so she had no trouble looking over heads. She looked at her watch. One thirty am. When she looked up a tall dark figure slipping away at the other side of the street caught her eye. She knew that profile and darted after it.

If wishes were horses then he wouldn’t be here, now, in this place, this time. But he had given up wishing a long time ago. Well not long in his lifetime but long enough in human terms. He strode away from a ghost of his painful past and left it behind like all the others. His stride was long and quick, purposeful in putting distance between them. If she followed and he thought she would try, what was it to him? He was a dead thing, unchanging, uncaring. Hurt gripped his heart in a cold silent fury.

Hearts get it the way. The words came back to him; long said to a dead girl who like him was still walking around. Ice now resided in place of his heart. Ice covered the hurt, the fury, buried it deep to never be looked upon. So why did it matter that he only half hoped that she would lose his trail?

The ‘spidey sense’ as Gunn would have called it quietened and he knew that she had fallen behind. His shoulders loosened minutely and he travelled on. He would patrol another hour or two before heading back to his temporary lair.

Buffy tailed the tall dark vampire for the next few hours. She lost him a couple of times but instinct and luck allowed her to find him again, as she continued to keep her distance. She did not see him enter any particular residence but he disappeared into a block of rundown buildings and apartments. She circled the area knowing he could be waiting for her to do so and make his escape but she didn’t think so. He had been so detached, so remote; it was if she had been a stranger confronting him. The irony of it all, she had seen how caring and polite he had been when meeting people in the past, the strangers he helped.

Tired and exhausted, in no state for a confrontation, Buffy headed back to Lorne’s club.

The place was quiet when Buffy opened her bedroom door. She wandered into Lorne’s small kitchen to find the Pylean eating his lunch.

“Morning” she mumbled yawning hugely. She pulled out a chair and sat.

“Morning, sugar. Coffee?”

“Mmmm, please.”

“Technically it’s afternoon,” he said as he poured coffee into a ridiculous cow mug.

Buffy stared into the muddy beverage before spooning a lot of sugar into its brown depths and taking a sip.

“God this is good.”

Lorne put down his half eaten sandwich. Buffy knew she could help herself to his larder anytime so his host duties were done.

“How did it go last night? Was it a bust?”

She looked up her eyes were shining. “I found him Lorne.”

“You did? Well that’s marvellous muffin.” Lorne clapped his hands in glee. “How is the big lug?”

The smile on Buffy’s lips faded. “I don’t know Lorne. He wouldn’t speak to me.”

Lorne’s smile faded too. “I was afraid of that and I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, I’m glad you rang. There is something wrong with him and I have to fix it.” Buffy had determination on her face now. She reached for a bagel.

Lorne watched the slayer eat her first meal of the day. His heart went out to the small blonde beauty; she had her work cut out for her. In all honesty he didn’t think that she would succeed. Angel was broken and he couldn’t see how he could be put back together but he knew that the slayer would try.

“How’s he looking?” he asked sadly.

Buffy looked up from her half eaten bagel. “The same I suppose- but not. Do you know what I mean?”

Lorne nodded.

“I mean, of course he is the same, he’s a vampire.” She put down her bread. “He’s like a killing machine.”

The Pylean snorted.

“Yes I know- he is a killing machine. But he’s like a machine when he kills. There was nothing there.” Buffy pushed away her plate her appetite gone.

“You know a little of the saga that was our life at Evil Incorporated and the year before. I need not go into that again, it was a nightmare.” Lorne sipped his coffee. “And believe it or not our beloved leader was the voice of reason, only none of us were listening.”

“Of course he was. Angel had good instincts.” Buffy slumped back into her chair ready as always to defend her Angel.

“NONE of us were listening.” He stared at her.

“What? Are you talking about me? I was half way around the world.” Her posture stiffened in indignation at the inference.

“Seems to me I recall a cry for help a time or two and no one was bothered.”

Buffy stood in frustration. “If you’re talking about not trusting Wolfram and Hart, that is a given?”

“Angel. Dear heart.” Lorne stood as well. He took his cup to the sink and began to clear the dishes.

Buffy glared at his back. “So what are you saying?”

He continued to clean with his back to her but he answered her question.

“Maybe he’s a machine because now he can only rely on himself.”

Buffy was suddenly uneasy. What if Lorne was right? No, she had her own job to do and Angel was a big boy, he could look after himself right?

Two nights later the vampire opened the door to find the slayer standing there.

“It’s about time; I thought you would sleep the night away.” Buffy smiled brightly trying to hide her trepidation at turning up at his place like the stalker she was.

If Angel was surprised it didn’t show on his face and Buffy found it unnerving with the vampire standing so still before her.

Mindful of the times that Angel had been kept waiting outside for an invitation Buffy spoke. “Can I come in?”

Angel recognised the gesture and begrudgingly stepped back from the door. Buffy slid past her ex boyfriend and into the dark room.

“Lights Angel?”

Seeing perfectly well, the vampire stepped over to a switch and flicked it on. A solitary bulb burst into dimness and illuminated the drab and Spartan living quarters. Buffy held in a gasp at the lifelessness of it all. This wasn’t the Angel she knew of old. Where was the art, the bookcases, the plethora of weapons?

Angel saw her eyes take in his living arrangement and he didn’t mind. It was just a temporary place. There were two or three books by his bed, his sword and axe leaned against the wall and one easy chair held a newspaper. The kitchenette was devoid of white goods; his blood was stored in a cooler on the bench. His small closet housed an even smaller wardrobe. The bathroom was through a door off the main room, small and adequate. He had jury rigged the wiring from the switchboard to give him power to heat the water. The only luxury he allowed.

Buffy watched him watching her and wished that he would speak. She loved the sound of his voice, the way he said her name but now she would settle for any word.

“So!”

Angel continued to watch her, his eyes dark.

Sighing Buffy turned and wandered over to the only furniture in the room.

“This your new place now?” Her slim hand patted the chair and her short hair swung about her face as she glanced back.

He still hadn’t moved. She racked her brains for something profound to pop in and help her. Instead she said.

“How have you been?” Stupid Buffy, she knew how things had been. Why did she have to go and say that?

Angel made a decision. He knew how tenacious Buffy could be and that she wouldn’t stop until he spoke.

He answered her earlier question. “It’s a place.” There that wasn’t so hard was it?

“That wasn’t so hard was it?” Buffy echoed his thoughts and Angel clamped down hard on the feelings that invoked. Hearts get in the way.

Buffy’s spirits soared at her small victory. He was talking, sort of. She wandered over to his sword.

“Not going to need this tonight?” She hefted the sword looking down the scabbard.

She startled as his cool fingers plucked the weapon from her grasp. He had used his preternatural speed to approach her and was back to his former spot in a blink, the sword clasped firmly in hand.

“Care for some company?” Buffy pulled Mr Pointy from the inside pocket of her jacket and twirled it expertly in her fingers.

“Go home Buffy.” His soft words stabbed at her crushing her small victory at getting him to talk.

She reached for the paper on the chair and sat in its place. “We need to talk.” The paper crinkled in her hands as she smoothed it nervously. She tucked her stake away and looked up. Her eyes flashed defiantly to the still standing statue that was Angel.

“About?”

“What’s wrong? With you; with us; with whatever’s going on.” She waited her heart racing in anticipation of a confrontation. She knew he must hear it.

“Just go.”

The emotionless way the two words came out made her realise that yes there was definitely something to talk about. The Problem was getting Angel to participate in a conversation that contained sentences longer than three words. She knew if she could just get him to talk, to open up, it would do him the world of good.

“You know that never works with me.” She challenged flicking her hair back.

Angel held in the sigh forming. He kept his shoulders from slumping in defeat. Buffy was the most frustrating creature he had ever known. And he knew Spike so that was saying something. A few moments with Buffy and already he could feel his walls cracking. So he shored up those walls and pushed all emotion aside. Perhaps he should just leave and maybe Buffy would take the hint.

Angel felt the slayer’s eyes on him as he tucked his sword into its place inside his coat. He deliberately kept his eyes averted as he turned away and walked out the still open door.

Buffy’s jaw dropped. Did Angel just turn and walk away from her? Again? She pushed to her feet and rushed after him. This was beginning to be a habit and it was also beginning to grate. The door slammed behind her as she rushed up the stairs. She reached the street to see him striding away and she put on that extra burst of speed to catch up.

“Where to mister?” she puffed up at him. Had he always been this tall? She saw his eyes flicker towards her. At least that was something, acknowledgement. Her short legs half ran to keep to his pace and she grabbed his arm in desperation when it didn’t look as if he was going to slow.

“Could you just slow down a little please? My legs are a lot shorter than yours and my shoes are killing me.”

Angel felt something when her warm hand landed on his arm. It was a feeling he had long forgotten. The touch of her fiery warmth had sent shivers and desire once upon a time. This was a faint echo but all the same it existed. He slowed down to accommodate her and not one to admit it enjoy the feel of her hand on his arm for one more moment.

Buffy felt the tension in Angel’s arm and wondered if she was helping. Still, she was relieved when he slowed down and actually glanced at her shoes.

“You like?” She lifted one small foot. Buffy was never one for sensible shoes and slaying never got in the way of fashion either. Now in her twenties, she did try for comfortable and sexy especially in the colder climes they had inhabited lately.

The vampire hastily lifted his eyes from her painted toenails and continued on in silence. Damn! He was melting.

Buffy put her foot down in haste and quick stepped to catch tall, dark and gloomy. She was sensing a crack in that tough veneer and a tendril of hope took hold followed by a small spark of happiness.

“So! Is there is purpose in your walk or do you patrol where the mood takes you?” Buffy fell in step beside Angel, whom she noted had not increased his speed.

He didn’t answer and Buffy was disappointed but let it go. She looked about the street seeing couples together and thought that they could be mistaken for a couple; except for the fact that they were not holding hands and hadn’t done so for several lifetimes.

They walked for several blocks in silence, scanning dark alley ways as they passed together but not. Buffy desperately wanted to touch Angel again but dared not. He had accepted her company for now, best not to push. Ahead of them a crowd of people had gathered. As they neared they saw the entrance of a trendy nightclub spilling out confused patrons.

Angel quickened his pace and Buffy trailed after him. Buffy used Angel as a shield as he pushed through the throng with her on his coattails.

“What is it?” she asked above the noise knowing he would still hear her.

“Blood.” Right! Good old vampire senses.

He weaved around a couple of girls running up the stairs and suddenly they were on the dance floor. Angel felt Buffy step to one side in combat readiness. There were two unconscious men sprawled out on the floor, bouncers Angel guessed by their dress. Two young men were beating each other bloody, oblivious to their new audience.

“Huh? What’s this Angel?” Buffy looked from one male being thrown against a table and the other who launched himself after him. “A pissing contest? I thought at least a vampire or two; a demon at least. No!” she threw her hands in the air. “Just two jerks ruining everyone’s evening.”

Angel turned his head slightly to look at her and then turned back to see one of the men picking up a chair and swing it at his assailant. Angel moved faster than a human and reached for the chair in mid air. He didn’t break his stride as he threw the chair away and apparently the young man staggered into his fist; hard. He was out cold before he hit the floor.

“Didn’t your mother teach you to play nice?” Buffy quipped behind him.

He swung around in time to see Buffy swing a right cross and number two joined his playmate.

She grinned delightedly. “A dance and a show!” She toed her victim to check that he was still breathing.

Angel felt strange. The deadness that resided within weighed him down. The hurt and anger encircled his heart and yet he felt a small spark of something. He didn’t know what but it was all about Buffy. It had always been about Buffy. He had tried to move on, he really had. Nina proved that. Only he couldn’t experience perfect happiness with Nina. She had been safe. The only time since Buffy had he allowed himself intimacy with a woman. His brief fling with Darla didn’t count and yet it did in more ways than one.

Buffy watched Angel standing there his eyes fathomless. He had walked over and decked the guy without a word, without trying to diffuse the situation. It had worked but this was not the Angel she knew although she was no longer the girl he knew either. She had become tough over the years and doing whatever was necessary had seen her through. It seemed that he had learned that lesson as well.

A sound of broken glass drew their attention to the bar and a blonde head appeared.

“It’s all over?” the bartender asked. Her eyes went wide when she spied the four bodies on the floor beside Buffy and Angel.

“What happened?” Buffy asked.

“I don’t know. A fight started, the bouncers tried to break it up and when they went down those two bozos started beating the hell out of each other.” She came out from behind the counter and looked up the stairs.

“Then people started to panic and they all left.” Sirens could be heard now and Angel decided it was time to leave.

“I guess someone called the police,” the blonde continued as Buffy once again hurried after her vampire.

The two champions eased through the crowd and made their escape away from the police and awkward questions. Buffy waited patiently for Angel to say something but once again she was disappointed.

Buffy thought ‘to hell with this!’ after a couple of blocks. “What do think that was all about?”

The vampire didn’t know and didn’t care. These were the people he and his friends risked death for? Something caught his eye and he crossed the street with Buffy still waiting for a reply. Buffy opened her mouth to try at another attempt at conversation when she too noticed what Angel had. She shut her mouth and her hand went inside her jacket to grip Mr Pointy.

Buffy kept to the side walk and came up behind the man leaning into the car; Angel took to the road and sauntered over to the other that had his head and shoulders inside the driver’s side. He tapped the bent back and rammed his stake home as the back straightened.

Buffy of course had to quip, “Bad manners to eat and run,” as she staked the vampire on her side. He dusted and Buffy could see both males inside the car had been bitten.

She straightened to look over the roof to Angel. “Are they dead?”

He nodded and began to walk away.

“Hey! Are we just going to leave them like this?”

Angel called back over his shoulder as he continued to move. “Look in the back seat.”

Buffy peeked through the window and saw pills and small packets of powder strewn about. Well two less scumbags to worry about.

“Do you think they tried to sell some junk to the vamps?”

Buffy came upright, he was gone. Damn!

Angel couldn’t take much more. He ran or rather did the thing he did so well. He disappeared. He left the dead drug dealers and Buffy and her questions behind. He wanted to be alone, needed to be alone. Didn’t anyone understand that concept? Atop a building he rested eyeing the bright skyline. A breeze blew through his hair and he welcomed the freshness of it. Angel felt the tension he had been feeling since Buffy had walked into his lair ease. He fell into the familiar arms of a great brooding session. This was one of his favourite places to be, up high looking down at the lights of the city. No longer his city but it held special memories for him.

Buffy decided it would be a long wait if she went back to Angel’s place. She could try and track him and probably would succeed after a long while so instead she headed back to Lorne’s. Contact had been made and she would bring out the big guns tomorrow night.

Lorne was surprised to see Buffy back anytime before midnight. The joint was hopping and it was a few minutes before he managed a break to speak with her.

“Do you get anyone in that can actually sing?” she asked as he slid into a chair and offered her a glass of orange juice.

“Yeah we do, but then they’re usually evil.” He took a sip of his sea breeze his eyes never leaving her face.

“Aren’t demons basically evil?”

“Come on! I’m a demon and I’m not evil, Angel’s a demon and – never mind. How did it go?”

“We talked.” Buffy lifted her glass and swallowed some juice.

“And? You’re killing me here!”

“Well I talked and he said the occasional word. Very occasional,” she grumbled.

“As in?” Lorne leaned close his horns nearly touching the blonde’s hair.

“I think the words were, go home Buffy, about, it’s a place and look in the back seat. And oh, blood.”

“Blood?”

“As in he could smell it from outside a club, there was a fight, you get the picture.”

“You fought?”

“No. There was a fight.” She sighed and leaned back. “When I first met Angel, he was cryptic mysterious guy. He could barely hold a conversation and he kept disappearing after he left me with a brief warning about impending doom. How was he with you?”

Lorne swirled the remains of his drink. “That would be how I found him too. Then he became family or I became a part of his family and he was very protective of his family.” He smiled as memories of nights spent with the gang at the Hyperion surfaced. The smile left his face as he continued. “Then when he took over Wolfram and Hart he withdrew from us and he had no trouble giving orders.” He looked down to peer at an interesting spot on the table. He wasn’t proud of what he had done for Angel on that last day even though it had been necessary. A passing demon jostled him and he looked up at Buffy.

“It’s not as it sounds. We all got busy with our new responsibilities and drifted apart. I loved my new position with Evil Incorporated. We all did.”

“Except for Angel,” Buffy whispered.

“Except for Angel. You do know our dark hero don’t you kitten. He hated it there and all we could do; or at least I did was to tell him to buck up and deal.” Lorne turned his head to listen to the sounds coming from the stage for a moment then turned back to the slayer.

“By the time the rest of us wised up we were two soldiers down and then we all thought that our boss had gone evil.”

He held a hand up to forestall her protest.

“It was a ruse, one that Angel could have won an Oscar for I might add. That boy can sure act.”

Buffy nodded. She had seen it with her own eyes. Faith and Angelus and she had punished him for doing as she had asked by pushing him away.

“So that was the beginning of the end. You know the rest.” Lorne raised his hand and ordered another sea breeze by indicating his empty glass to the barman. He really didn’t want to relate his role in all this. He put on his best face as Host.

“The Apocalypse.”

“Capital A sugar.”

“Why didn’t he call? We could have helped.”

“He did call or so I heard.”

Buffy was stunned. Angel had called and no one had bothered to tell her.

Lorne’s drink arrived. “The thing is was when he asked us to help him stop the apocalypse, by taking on the Senior Partners, he was asking us to die with him.” Lorne stared at the drink lost in the past. When he looked up Buffy could have sworn there were tears in those red eyes.

“And you said yes.” Buffy’s breath hitched at the loyalty and love that this demon and his friends had for Angel that they were prepared to die for him.

“Actually we raised our hands.”

Both slayer and demon looked up to a smiling Charles Gunn.

“Hey Boy Wonder! How are you?” Lorne got up to embrace his friend before he remembered his manners.

“Charles Gunn. This is Buffy Summers. Buffy, this is Gunn.”

Gunn put his hand out. “The Buffy? The Slayer? Angel’s One True Love? Pleased to finally meet you.”

Buffy blushed as she shook his hand. “I didn’t know you knew so much about me and I barely know anything about you.”

Gunn sat and waved away the offer of a drink. “Lorne told me that you were coming. Have you found him yet?”

“I have and we had words.”

“Very few words,” Lorne put in.

“How is he?” Gunn wanted to know.

Buffy changed the subject a little. “How come you guys haven’t tried to reach him?”

“Man doesn’t want to be found.” Gunn shrugged. “It’s not that we haven’t tried. It’s that after the dust settled, and our wounds were licked, we decided to lay low. Split up. Stay below radar, so to speak.”

“Angel cakes took it into his head that it was His head that they would be looking for and that everyone would be a lot safer if he left the country.”

“And now he’s back.” Buffy looked at the two friends. “Do you know why?”

“Nope. A customer of mine mentioned seeing a vampire that matched Angel’s descript helping the helpless and that’s the first any of us knew. That’s when I got in touch with you honey buns.”

“Same goes with me Buffy. Lorne rang to tell me Angel was in town and I asked around, moved through old neighbourhoods did a surreptitious search but came up empty.”

“Huh?”

“Sorry. Sometimes the brain upgrade resurfaces.”

“Again I say, huh?” Buffy was perplexed by these people but she liked them.

Gunn smiled showing all his teeth and Buffy could see how attractive he was.

“In-house joke.”

“Okay I understand those. Our own gang has plenty.” Buffy thought that an outsider would have been hard pushed to fathom any of Xander’s jokes and the late Anya’s sense of humour.

“So where do we go from here?”

“Excuse me?”

Gunn jerked his thumb at his own chest. “How can we help? Does he want to see us?”

Now Buffy felt uncomfortable. She didn’t want to hurt his feelings. “He’s only said about three words to me. He’s not one for small talk.”

“You got that right. Man hardly said boo the first few years and when he did it were kinda scary.”

Lorne interjected. “I think maybe Buffy should handle this and when he’s ready he’ll come to us.”

“Yeah, what’s up with that?” Gunn’s shiny head turned her way.

“When I saw him fighting, it’s like he’s not there. He’s a mean lean killing machine, out there fighting the good fight but his heart is not in it.” She paused. “He doesn’t want me there. He won’t talk to me.”

The others were quiet. The room was full of noise but it didn’t touch the three sitting together contemplating one man or vampire that meant so much to them.

“I think he holds himself responsible for what happened, to us.” Charles Gunn knew Angel and knew that he was right. Just as Charles still had his own responsibility as to what had happened to Fred.

“So what exactly did happen?” Buffy asked leaning forward.

So Buffy Summers, vampire slayer, listened to the tale of Angel, vampire with a soul and his associates of Angel Investigations and their extraordinary exploits at Wolfram and Hart.

Angel gathered his small wardrobe and packed them neatly into his duffel. His books were already packed; the sword and axe could be carried. He would leave the rest, travel light until he found someplace that he could stay awhile. He had a car lined up for pick up and he was out of here. L.A. harboured too many memories and old friends and foe. The Senior Partners were everywhere that Wolfram and Hart were, so that meant global and pan dimensional. He couldn’t risk endangering the people who still meant something to him (that was hard for Angel to admit) and besides The Senior Partners would be expecting him to turn up here eventually. His business here was finished; he had seen his son graduate and was intensely grateful that Connor had welcomed his presence at the ceremony. The one good thing that had come out of all this was that Connor had acknowledged him as his father and that they were on good terms.

Time to go before Buffy came back, if she came back. He looked at his watch, half an hour until sunset. A vampire instinctively knew when the sun was about to rise and set but timepieces made it into an exact science.

When the knock on the door came he half expected it. He had hoped to be long gone when Buffy knocked on his door again and he had almost made it by half an hour. Who was he kidding? The sewer entrance was accessible during the day; he could have been miles away so where was this cold dead thing that was his heart? Truth be told he wanted one last glimpse of the woman who was his one true love even if he wasn’t hers. He just wasn’t up to the verbal carnage that usually accompanied a Buffy and Angel meeting.

When the door opened Buffy knew that she hadn’t arrived a moment too soon. She pushed past him without a word and her eyes zeroed in on his packed bag.

“Going somewhere I see.”

Angel tore his eyes away from her and went to pick up his leather coat.

“Angel.” Buffy bit her lip, here goes. “I know what happened.”

He stood with his back to her and waited.

“At Wolfram and Hart- when you were CEO.” Buffy wanted to reach out and touch that broad back.

“It wasn’t your fault. You did what you had to do. Gunn says-”

“How is he?” He still hadn’t turned to face her, the coat held slack in one hand.

“He seems fine. He looks well, he was asking about you.” She took one step towards him.

Good he thought. Better off without me to endanger his life. He shrugged on the coat and turned to face his one time love.

“Tell him I’m fine.”

“Why don’t you tell him yourself? He wants to see you, as does Lorne.” Buffy stared into the dark eyes of her vampire ex and saw that he wouldn’t.

He reached for his bag and weapons but she hurried over to the bed and put her hand out.

“Where are you going?”

He had to look down into her face she was so close. She was the most amazing woman he had ever met. “Away.”

“Angel, please,” Buffy pleaded.

He straightened and stepped away from her leaving his bag to stand on the other side of the room. Buffy noted the farthest away from her. He crossed his arms.

“Why won’t you talk to me?” She unconsciously mirrored his stance by crossing her arms too.

“Everything’s been said.”

“No it hasn’t.” She sighed. “Look I didn’t come to bust your chops. I came to see you, see how you are. You’ve been rather elusive these last couple of years.” She uncrossed her arms and carefully perched on the arm of the only chair.

He couldn’t help himself, it just came out. “Same could be said of you.”

“Finding new slayers has been a full time job. We’ve been pretty busy.”

He didn’t say anything to that. She looked at him standing there like the big silent vampire that he was and dangerous, let’s not forget dangerous. Well she liked to live dangerously. She smoothed her jeans with her palms.

She decided to jump right in. “People die Angel. We are fighting a war and people die. It’s not something we plan to happen but it does. It’s no ones fault and we cannot give up the fight because of it. You cannot give up.”

Arms still barring his chest he replied, “I’m still fighting.”

“Are you? A vamp here, a demon there. You’re more than that.” She waited but he just stood there, silent.

“I know that taking over Wolfram and Hart wasn’t the smartest thing-”

Now he growled. “You know nothing about that.”

“I know.” She held her hands up in surrender. “I didn’t understand any of it at the time. But-”

“You didn’t trust me.” His voice so soft betrayed the hurt that lingered.

Buffy stood. “Wolfram and Hart Angel, not you.”

“Oh?” Those dark brows rose. “Andrew and Giles gave me the message loud and clear.”

“That’s not what I meant. You know I trust you, the others, well, I mean Wolfram and Hart.” Buffy blushed. They had been speaking for her at the time and now it had come back to bite her in the butt.

Now the anger that Angel had been suppressing shredded a little and that small piece came bubbling to the surface.

“Really, because I can remember a time or two that you told me face to face that wasn’t so.”

Buffy avoided the accusation by clutching at Angel’s previous statement. “Hang on. Giles? When did you speak to Giles?”

“Just before everything fell apart starting with Fred. We needed Willow and Giles couldn’t be bothered to put us in touch with her and – never mind.” Angel put his arms down and thrust them into his pants pockets. He needed to calm down. Breathe. Oh right as if that ever works.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know.” Her voice was small.

He sighed letting it go. “So am I. Is that it because I have somewhere to be?”

Buffy quickly moved to the bed and sat down beside his duffel effectively blocking his retreat.

“We could have helped, you should have called. I would have come. I mean The Apocalypse!”

“It seemed to Spike and me that you were busy with the Immortal.” Damn he wasn’t going to bring that up but when it came to the Immortal he turned into an immature child not the mature two hundred and fifty plus vampire he was.

Buffy blushed again at the memory of the Immortal. She had been infatuated with him. What was it about dark haired handsome immortals that could be or not be evil? She gazed at the vampire in front of her and found her answer. Buffy stared at him reacquainting herself with the beautiful lines of his face. She had heard from Andrew that both Angel and Spike had turned up in Rome looking for her and hadn’t cared less then. Later when the passion had waned she had been too embarrassed to call and had decided it was her life and it had nothing to do with the two vampires.

So she defended her actions somewhat too vehemently. “What I do with my life is none of your business.”

“It used to be.” Xander’s voice came back to haunt her in Angel’s words. He continued his voice flat and lifeless.

“And my un- life has nothing to do with you. Just go.”

Crap! She had asked for that. She looked down at the grubby brown carpet and admitted, “I’m embarrassed, okay?” Her hazel eyes flicked up to his. “Can we move on from that?”

“Moving on. Mmmn. I have already moved on.” He put a finger to his lips forcing back the words waiting to bubble out in need, in anger. Angel mentally clanged the cage shut on his emotions. Hearts get in the way.

Buffy was amazed at how Angel put so much effort into appearing human. A scratch at his chin or ear, a hand across his eyes or mouth, the things that humans did without thinking he made look so natural when it was unnatural for him to fidget so. Then his words hit home. He had moved on. Her heart sank. He was still broken then it was her job to fix him and now it looked as if it would be to let him go, he had moved on.

“Moved on?” she repeated.

He didn’t answer; his chocolate eyes so dark in the dim light were locked on hers.

Buffy forced her lungs to take a shaky breath. “Angel, when you say you’ve moved on, is this it?” She made a show of casting her gaze around the shabby room. “This is no way to live. The world needs you. You’re its champion. And as I know champions need their friends.” I need you she wanted to say.

He snorted. “Champion- I hate that word. What does that mean huh?”

“It means we give of ourselves to do what’s right, help the helpless, and do away with evil.”

“I get that.” He paced away and then back. Two steps were all it took the place was so small.

“I do all that.”

“I know you do Angel. Your friends are champions too, they want to help.” They were on safer ground now; Angel was talking and Buffy kept chipping away at the part of him that was buried deep.

“MY friends don’t need me. My friends tend to end up dead. What’s left of them will not be put in danger again.” His large hand sliced the air to emphasize the point.

“That’s for them to decide isn’t it?” Buffy stood finally and watched as Angel stepped back to a safe distance.

“Angel, this is no way to live, cutting yourself off, moving from place to place.”

“I don’t live remember?” And that will never change and what was left of his heart broke just a little more.

The Senior Partners had wrested a hard fought destiny from him, his redemption. He had looked through necro- tempered glass for the last time and it had nearly brought him to his knees. Looking at Buffy delivered another blow to his soul. The future he had dreamed of lived so briefly four years ago now stood before him forever denied to him.

Buffy was intent on the vampire before her so she caught the briefest glimpse of sadness flicker across his features.

Then as if it had been a trick of the light a shutter went up and his eyes and face were stone.

“What is it?” She dared another step. He took another back.

“What are you afraid of? The Senior Partners have stopped looking for you. They must have because if I could find you they would have a long time ago.”

“Be that as it may, I’m not taking that chance.”

Buffy decided to change the subject a little. “How did you manage to get out of that alley alive? Gunn said that there were thousands of demons and” she breathed, “a dragon.”

“Didn’t they tell you?” It had only looked like thousands, a few hundred at most. Yeah, he remembered wanting to fight the dragon. Had in fact fought the dragon and barely won. He blinked. He was surprised though that Lorne wanted to see him after their last parting. Maybe these last couple of years had lessened the trauma of it all. He hoped so for their sake.

“Gunn said he was wounded. It was raining, Spike and Illyria were there and you, and the hordes of Hell. There was a battle and when Gunn came to you were someplace else.” Charles Gunn hadn’t been forthcoming with an explanation that he must have been given at the time. Buffy was amazed that somehow they made it through. The warrior in her wanted the details.

Eagerly she asked, “So how did you do it?”

She thought for a moment that he wouldn’t answer. Then his eyes shifted and he was looking back to that day.

“Luck I guess, courage and determination. Illyria, God King that she/he/it is packs a powerful punch. I still had Hamilton’s blood in my veins so that gave me a powerful edge.” It nearly made him invincible, he was sure that he could have taken down Illyria if he had to, the rest of the demons were merely fodder; deadly fodder still able to maim and kill though.

Buffy wondered who or what Hamilton was and did Angel just admit to drinking? She tightened her lips shut on a question as he continued, his eyes snapping back to hers.

“Did you get the news about the huge gas explosion here in L.A? The one that took out several buildings including The Hyperion?”

“That was it? That was you guys fighting the demons? I knew it! I said that everything was not as it seemed.” Buffy jumped excitedly to her feet but when she found Angel looking at her patiently, she sat.

“I should have insisted we try to contact you then,” she murmured knowing that he could probably hear that too.

“Spike fought like the demon he is and Gunn fought valiantly.” He shook his dark head as the memories rolled on. “Maybe The Powers had a hand in it, I don’t know. There were bodies everywhere, I chose the ally as it is narrow and easy to defend and we had to draw them in, keep the demons contained. And then as the second wave was about to hit we ran setting off a set of explosives I had in place. You see, I had time to plan ahead, tried to keep the carnage down to a minimum. I don’t want to think about the humans that died that night.” He thought of that important phone call he had Harmony put through to his office. “I don’t think the Senior Partners can interfere directly on this plane. They need others to act for them, maybe-” he stopped, tired of thinking about it all. He really didn’t have an answer. His eyes shone like glass marbles until they refocused on her and then Buffy could see the life drain right out until they were lifeless again.

Buffy’s heart squeezed in her chest at his transformation. Hang on, did he just admit to fighting side by side with Spike and not fighting against Spike?

“You fought with Spike. This is Spike, the one you hate and he hates you even more Spike?” She had heard but still hearing it from Angel it still sounded absurd. The Spike that Angel knew had been in love with her and she knew how jealous Angel could be. What had changed?

“Yeah. What are the odds?” His face showed a hint of disbelief at the whole Spike and Angel deal himself.

“I heard it from Gunn but I am still gob smacked.” She ground her hands to her hips a wry smile inviting his to surface.

Instead he looked to the floor and mumbled, “It should have been me.”

“What?”

His raised his eyes and his gaze caught hers. Buffy’s heart sped up.

“The amulet. You should have let me wear it. None of this would have happened. I would have been finished.”

“Ashes you mean,” she whispered and held back the tears that were forming. She had been in that place that he was now living. She understood that sort of desolation. She knew that Angel did too and had already experienced a century of it prior to arriving in Sunnydale.

“Ashes, final death, whatever. I offered to stand with you and you turned me away. I was ready.” He breathed an unnecessary sigh and turned away from her. Maybe he would have been granted Shanshu then but not now, not ever. It wasn’t her fault, she couldn’t have known and he wasn’t about to tell her.

A warm hand that burned like fire touched his arm and he shuddered.

“Spike came back with the amulet maybe you would have too.”

“It was a ruse to bring me down.” He kept his face to the wall. “Spike was a tool used to get to me, make my life unbearable and his existence must have been unpleasant. No, it would have been different.”

The hand ran up his arm and down his back. He breathed in her perfume and her heat. He didn’t want her sympathy or her concern. Those days were long past. And yet he stayed facing away looking for something of interest on the wall.

When Buffy fingers caressed his arm she felt his whole being tense. How did they get to this stage she wondered? Years apart, not talking and the hurt still present were how. Buffy had tried to move on, she really had. Parker, Riley, and then God help her, Spike. And the Immortal had been the last in a line of boyfriends that Angel positively hated. All this time Buffy had harboured resentment that Angel had left her, even if for her own good and not to forget; the worlds. He had offered his life and love once again in Sunnydale and she had made some silly speech about cookie dough and baking and turned him away. Had she lost her last chance? Was it too late?

“I don’t know why I turned you away,” she whispered. “I know at the time I thought that we were going to die and I didn’t want that to happen to you. Later that night The First came to taunt me and it was then that I realised that we had a chance and we did.”

“Why couldn’t you have been honest with me? I thought-” Angel stopped as he turned his head to look at her. There was something in her eyes that held promise, hope. He could be weak and clutch at paradise in the offering and there by seal her fate. He would lose her just as he lost all the others. He was a walking disaster waiting to happen and he had to be strong and divert the storm. He reinforced the walls of his heart and opened his mouth to end it once and for all. He jumped when the shrill tone of a cell phone pierced the air.

Buffy cursed under her breath as she fumbled in her pocket for the blasted phone. Not now she swore! However when she saw it was Giles’ number, she smiled apologetically to Angel and stepped back.

“Sorry, It’s Giles and……” she put the phone to her ear and turned slightly not seeing the change on Angel’s face as she did so.

Well what did he expect? Giles could contact Buffy anywhere it seemed. A pity it hadn’t been necessary for Fred’s sake. So he harboured resentment, he wasn’t a saint. Forcing calmness he didn’t feel, Angel shut the gates to the walls he had built around him. He was back to where he should be, safe from others and more importantly, the others were safe from him.

He looked longingly at his possessions and considered sliding out the door unnoticed. Buffy’s voice held him captive.

“When? How?” She turned to see that Angel was looking towards his things and she took a step in that direction listening all the while to the information her Watcher was imparting.

“Why can’t you? You’ve tried everything? What about Willow? Oh!” Buffy bit her lip and looked at the vampire before her. She nodded before she realised that Giles couldn’t see. “I can’t promise- no-yes I have. I’ll call you in an hour. Make the arrangements. Fine and thanks Giles.” She ended the call and chewed her lip. This was going to be awkward.

Angel watched Buffy dispassionately. He had heard both sides of the conversation. He wondered how she was going to ask for his help.

Buffy wished that Angel could at least ask about the call. No, he just stood there, tall dark and silent. Here goes.

“That was Giles.”

Silence.

“Um I guess you heard- me- say that.” Buffy took a breath. “One of the slayers has disappeared. Apparently there was a portal and you know how those are. Well she got sucked in and she hasn’t appeared in any of the dimensions that the portal is connected to and Willow is still trying but hasn’t been able to locate her and we sort of need your help.” The last part came in a rush she was that nervous.

Angel couldn’t believe the gall of Giles to be asking for his help. He would of course because that was what he did. Help others. He wasn’t going to do it for Giles but for the slayer and for Buffy and of course Willow who had helped him twice in restoring his soul.

Buffy waited a long moment before the vampire spoke.

“You want me to help you find a slayer? The last time that happened, I found her and helped her only to be threatened with a dozen slayers to stay away. What does Andrew have to say about this?” He cocked an eyebrow at her.

“Angel, I know Andrew acted rashly and I’m sorry that happened.” Her face burned.

“What amused me at the time was the fact that he had a dozen slayers at his disposal and yet he used my help and Wolfram’s and Hart to find and subdue her. Why was that?” He couldn’t help the bitterness leaking through.

She didn’t have an answer for that.

“Was he expecting Dana to dust me, was that it? Save everybody the trouble, get rid of the vampire in control of the evil law firm?” He kept his tone conversational, hiding the hurt and betrayal he felt still lurking within. After all he had done worse as his time as Angelus, so who was he to condemn?

Buffy flinched at his even tone, his words hitting close to the truth. She hadn’t been a party to the abduction of Dana, had been told of the events much later and she had wondered why Giles had instructed Andrew to wait until after Dana had been confined. But still, she could have picked up the phone and made a call to apologise, no wonder Angel no longer trusted her motives.

Buffy had no answer that was not truthful so she continued. “Giles says that there is a demon that can find the lost. It is here in Los Angeles but only the dead can enter her lair.”

“Dinza.”

“You’ve heard of her?” This was good news.

“I’ve met her.”

“You have? Will she help?”

“Maybe, she doesn’t work that way.” He thought of the creature that had pointed him in the right direction in his quest to find Cordelia.

He still hadn’t offered his help and Buffy found that disturbing. The Angel she knew would have jumped at the chance to help. She was also curious as to the why Angel had dealings with Dinza.

“Will you help?” she pleaded.

Buffy watched as he crossed to his bag and hoisted it over his shoulder. Her heart sank. He reached around her for his weapons and she stepped aside. His face came near and she found it hard to breathe. She thought she had lost him when he turned at the door.

“I’ll do it because it is Faith.”

Damn him and his vampire hearing and damn him for keeping her dangling. A very small and petty part of her was jealous that he was doing this for Faith and not for her. She voiced none of those thoughts but hurried after him with a “thankyou.”

He led her across town, striding past the evening crowd, his sword and axe tucked carefully under his coat. His bag in his left hand presented a barrier between them as she half ran to keep up. There was no small talk or any talk at all but she was content just to be at his side so Buffy didn’t complain, they were on a mission and together after all these years.

Angel knew that Buffy could keep up even at his pace so didn’t slow. Faith needed help and he could provide the means for a rescue. Time was of the essence not to be wasted. He knew that it wasn’t Buffy’s fault the events that had unfolded in the last few years. Good Lord, he had done more damage to this woman and her friends and had been forgiven, at least by the slayer. He was foolish and childish and he was supposed to be emotionless. Where had his control gone? He had changed and was no longer the man-vampire who sucked up the insults and turned the other cheek at least not lately. It wasn’t for his wounded ego that he felt betrayed, it was for the other valiant souls who had sided with him and been tarred with the ‘evil’ and ‘not to be trusted’ brush, the same souls who had given their lives for the good fight.

Buffy knew a good brood when she saw one and Angel was deep inside his. This was the Angel of old, or this side of him anyway and she welcomed the familiarity. So Buffy did something she rarely did, she kept her mouth shut. Angel led her to a sewer access and down they climbed.

At the bottom he handed her his weapons and bag. “Wait here,” he said and he stepped away from her.

She started to say, “There’s nothing here,” when a wall materialized before her and he was lost from view.

Buffy kicked the wall for good measure. “Wait it is then.”

“We meet again Lost Thing.” The leathery creature that was Dinza stayed perched high on the wall looking down at him.

The vampire stayed quiet waiting for Dinza to initiate further conversation.

“You come to me again, I am surprised.”

“You know what happened since last I was here?”

“You found that which you had lost, only to lose her once and for all. What makes you think that this will be different?” Dinza fluttered above his head to another wall.

“Can you help me?” Deciding arguing was a ‘lost’ cause, Angel ignored the question.

“What makes you think that I will let you leave this time?”

“Haven’t I got more to lose?” he countered.

“Everyone has more to lose, some more than most. You have lost a great deal and yet you may have more to lose so no, I won’t keep you.”

“Can you help?” he repeated ignoring the oblique reference to Connor and his friends.

“Find the Eye of Akron and you shall find that which you seek.” Dinza fluttered past caressing his face as she did so.

Knowing that politeness and gratitude were always welcome Angel said, “Thankyou.”

The wall disappeared behind him and he heard an echo. “We shall see.”

When he turned Buffy was there and he had almost forgotten. Her look was hopeful as she handed him his belongings.

“Did she help?”

He waved her towards the ladder and as she started to climb he answered. “The Eye of Akron that’s all she said. Dinza is kinda cryptic in her answers.”

Buffy snorted. “Pot calling the kettle,” she muttered.

Angel thought that he was being teased as he followed her up the rungs but wasn’t sure.

When they reached the surface and Angel had settled the cover he faced the girl that had once been his love.

“You know your way from here?”

“Angel, wait!” Buffy didn’t want him to go. She thought desperately for a reason for him to stay.

“You have the answer Buffy. You don’t need me.” He turned to go he wasn’t one for goodbyes.

“Can you at least wait until after I have told Giles? There may be more to this Eye thingy than meets the….eye?” Her eyes twinkled at her own joke and he found it captivating.

Angel thought that yeah, he could do that. “So ring him.”

Relieved, Buffy replied, “Okay, doing it.” She fumbled for her phone and dialled England while Angel stood and watched.

Thank God she thought when he answered. “Giles, it’s me. Yeah we got it, at least Angel….. No. Giles! The Eye of-” she threw the vampire a questioning look.

“Akron.”

“The Eye of Akron. Yes, I’m sure. Good. Can you ring me as soon as? Okay. Thanks. Bye.”

She shut off her phone and said to the waiting Angel. “He’s on it. Research-you know the drill. Can you walk me partway, maybe have a coffee?” Buffy inserted the coffee thing in a rushed spur of the desperate moment not wanting to lose Angel for once and for all.

Buffy was asking him for coffee and Angel was back in Sunnydale remembering when he had asked her for the same. He couldn’t resist the look of desperation and hope on her face and thought, what the hell, it’s just coffee.

“Okay.”

Buffy sighed with relief. She didn’t know if he was happy at her suggestion, his face was carefully neutral but at least he hadn’t turned her down.

They exited the alley and she led the way back towards Lorne’s night club and a nearby café.

“He’ll ring as soon as he knows something.” The slayer said after ten minutes of silence between them. They were nearing the coffee shop and Buffy had enjoyed the last few minutes walking with Angel. The quiet had been calm and soothing; she could tell that he was relaxed by his body language. Perhaps the fact that she had stopped nagging him with unending questions had something to do with it.

Having made the decision to leave and knowing that he had provided some help in Faith’s rescue Angel relaxed and enjoyed the evening walk with a beautiful young woman at his side. He inhaled the scent of her perfume and shampoo for perhaps the last time and was okay with that. Smell was perhaps the strongest trigger of memory and he had an eternity to recall the scent that was Buffy.

The window held only one reflection as the slayer sipped her latte and the vampire held his steaming black warming his cold hands. Angel watched her tongue lick at the milky rim of her cup and was mesmerized by every small movement. He was staring but couldn’t help himself.

Buffy felt the weight of his stare and couldn’t bring her eyes to meet his for the moment. She made a thing about drinking her coffee and took her time. What to say?

“Dawn has graduated school. She majored in History.” She raised her eyes and as she suspected caught his.

“She is teaching now, part time. The rest of the time she helps Giles with the New Council, she wants to become a Watcher, and she’s had plenty of research experience.”

Angel nodded and finally took his first sip of coffee. “How’s that working out?”

“It’s difficult and slow, rebuilding, recruiting, and finding slayers. Not to mention training everyone. At least the Watchers Council’s funds were left untouched, their money was in The Bank of England. Can you believe that? The Bank of England; sounds grand doesn’t it?” She giggled.

“It’s an old institution.” He barely contained his smile.

“Yeah, well British and all that. Anyway,” she swallowed more coffee before adding, “The money comes in handy for all of the above. Giles was on the official payroll and had official status, so he now has access. Who would’ve thought?”

Angel took another sip.

Buffy thought he looked delicious sitting there and fought to keep her thoughts from scattering.

“Willow has control of the magic side of things, practical and research. Xander is turning out to be a great Watcher. He has great instincts.”

Angel watched as Buffy’s look turned sad. “He lost an eye during the battle against The First. Did you know?”

Angel shook his head.

She bit her lip and looked down at her cup briefly before looking him in the eye again.

“It was my fault. I was too sure of myself. I didn’t listen to reason, to Giles, to anyone and I was reckless. And he lost an eye. I can never forget that.” Tears shimmered and she blinked them away, embarrassed to cry in front of Angel after all this time.

Angel stayed quiet. He understood the pain that Buffy was feeling. How many people had he lost because of his decisions? He resisted the urge to reach out to touch her hand but he wanted to. And he couldn’t let that happen, so he sat and offered his silent support, platitudes were what people said when they didn’t understand.

“The others lost faith in me and chose Faith as their leader.” She chuckled wryly. “Faith; can you believe it?”

At his silent look she hastily added, “I guess you can. She got hurt; there was an ambush and I got them out. They voted me back but I learned a valuable lesson.” She didn’t say what the lesson was but Angel would know. He always did know her.

“We defeated The First, Sunnydale became a crater a la Spike and the amulet and here we are.” Her hand left her cup and waved at the world around them. The café was filling with the early theatre crowd. The later patrons would appear around midnight in the second rush. The night was still young by Buffy and Angel’s reckoning, anything before midnight was.

Buffy continued to regale the vampire with the sequel to her life, the life after Sunnydale. Angel listened and committed to memory every detail. He also filed away the way her lips moved when she spoke, the blink of her hazel eyes, the long lashes brushing the swell of her cheek. The way her lovely silken hair swung with each movement of her head, caressing the length of her creamy neck. Buffy’s tan had faded with her European lifestyle and Angel thought she looked beautiful.

Buffy ran out of steam and realised that Angel had contributed very little to the conversation. So what else was new? She wanted to know what he had been doing these last few years, the years after Wolfram and Hart. She wondered if he had been listening, for when her eyes focussed on his he seemed to be far away.

“Angel?”

His eyes shifted back. “What?”

“Were you even listening?” she pouted.

“The Leaning Tower of Pizza.” He drank in her pout and knew it was time to go.

“Oh. I guess you were.” Buffy was beginning to find his gaze too intense and she fidgeted.

He stood suddenly and was beside her chair in a heart beat. He put a hand on the back of her chair in an old and gentlemanly fashion.

“I think it’s time.”

Her heart sank but her legs didn’t and she rose from her seat to follow him out the door. As they reached the street her phone rang and she gratefully reached for it. She walked away from the entrance of the café to a quieter spot and mouthed “wait” to Angel, hoping he would and kept an anxious eye on him.

Something familiar caught his sensitive nose and he followed it to a dark corner of the building. He knew what he would find and his extra ordinary sight confirmed it.

He waited for the familiar voice.

“Angel.”

And there is it was. The voice brought forth suppressed emotion and the sight of its owner moved him beyond words. He breathed deep to find balance. This man had been prepared to die for the good fight on Angel’s asking. He owed Charles Gunn more than he could possibly express. It was one of the reasons he hadn’t wanted to look him up. His planned solitary life was in danger along with his dead heart.

“Charles,” he breathed out.

Gunn stepped forth a hesitant smile blooming. At least the vampire had greeted him and that was a good sign wasn’t it?

By chance he had glanced in the window of the coffee shop on his way to Lorne’s club two streets away to be astonished to see that familiar profile framed there. For several long minutes he had simply stood looking at the vampire who had changed his life, his world. The man hadn’t changed much. The same dark hair and eyes, the pale skin and the mouth that rarely smiled was looking at the blonde slayer that had captured his attention. Gunn battled with the idea of walking in and greeting Angel and caution won out as he continued to watch the vampire watch the slayer. The man wasn’t talking a whole lot he could see that and going by what Buffy had said earlier, wasn’t in the mood for a chat. But he couldn’t let it go like that, so he had stayed and waited for the pair to exit the establishment.

Gunn put out a hand. “Angel! I thought it was you. Long time-” His smile lit up his entire face as the vampire clasped his arm in a warriors’ greeting. Without further thought he gave the vampire a quick hug and felt it returned.

Angel stepped back and looked over the young demon fighter. “How are you?”

“I’m good.” He slapped his gut, “Couldn’t be better.”

Angel frowned at the gesture. Another reminder of how dire things had been for his friend.

Gunn saw the frown and added quickly, “It was just a scratch man, not worth the fuss. Besides you owe me one dragon,” he teased.

He got the reaction he had hoped for. Half a smile tugged at the vampire’s lips.

“Next time, I promise.”

Buffy hurried up to the two men having watched with a great amount of envy the embrace and found to her amazement that Angel was smiling, sort of. She looked from one to the other. “What have I missed?”

Gunn turned to her. “Angel just told a joke”

“Huh?” She looked at Angel who had instantly sobered at her return. That hurt.

Gunn laughed at her consternation. “Just messing with you Buffy.” His eyes flicked back to the vampire.

“You still packing I see.”

At Angel’s puzzled look, he clarified. “I felt some serious armament under that coat of yours.”

The vampire’s face cleared. “Always be prepared.”

“Vamp boy scout.” He nodded and returned his attention back to the slayer. “Are you on your way to Lorne’s?”

Buffy gazed at Angel as she answered Gunn. “There’s trouble and I have to get back to England. Angel helped me with something and he was walking me back.”

“Anything I can do?” Charles offered hoping that she would say yes and that Angel would be involved. Looking at the vampire though, he didn’t hold out much hope.

Eyes still riveted on Angel Buffy took the plunge. She breathed deep and came out with it.

“Faith is missing-”

“Wait! Faith, that’s the other slayer right? She helped us with Angelus-” now it was Gunn’s turn to break off when he realised whose name had spilled from his lips. He too turned his eyes back to Angel although his held apology. The vampire had moved in the way he had, one minute he was standing close and the next he was somewhere else. In this instance Angel had moved several paces away, bag in hand looking ready to bolt.

Buffy willed Angel to stay as she hurried on. “Angel went to Dinza to help us find her,” and again Gunn interrupted.

“Is this the same Dinza that helped us find Cordelia?”

“What? Cordelia was missing? How? Why?”

“She became a Higher Being for a few months,” at Buffy’s confused look, “never mind, long story. Sorry,” Gunn indicated that she should continue.

“Anyway, that was Giles.” She glared at Gunn as he opened his mouth and he snapped it shut again. “The Eye of Akron has been located in Greece Angel. Xander and Kennedy are on their way there to retrieve it. Seems some demon has it and my bet is that he won’t be a giving person.”

Angel waited as she paused, he knew that she was going to ask him for more help and he hoped that he would be able to turn her down if that were possible.

Gunn couldn’t help himself, “The Eye of Akron?”

“Uh huh. The catch is; is that the Eye only works if there is a connection between the two people concerned, family blood, that sort of thing.” She made a decision, delaying the inevitable once again. “Can we not do this in the street?”

A young couple giggled as they passed them but Angel stood firm. “Faith doesn’t have any family.”

Buffy drew closer with Gunn beside her. “No she doesn’t.”

“She has me.” Angel dared her to deny it.

“Faith told me briefly about the mind walk she took inside your head. Maybe that’s enough of a connection, sharing minds I mean.”

Angel’s face was stone. “There’s also a blood link.”

Goosebumps erupted across Buffy’s body. “What?”

Gunn answered to save Angel the horror of the telling. “Angelus drained Faith but the girl had taken a drug called Orpheus, hence the walk in the twilight zone. She saved Angel by offering her own life.”

Buffy stood utterly shocked. Her mouth had a will of its own though, and “Faith?” popped out before she could regain control. The shock was trying to give way to anger and derision but Buffy was still looking at Angel and what she saw quickly doused the feeling of incredulity.

Angel hadn’t moved and his eyes were so dark and fathomless. Faith had given her blood to save Angel! Buffy couldn’t seem to get past that. She had once nearly killed the other slayer to save Angel, only to offer her own life’s blood when that hadn’t worked out. Now it seemed as if Faith had done the same. Faith had really changed and guilt crept in. Buffy and her friends hadn’t given her the benefit of the doubt. Buffy could see that she had a lot to say to the dark haired slayer, if they could rescue her. Willow had filled her in about her L.A trip that year, about Wesley calling forth Angelus to help defeat The Beast but she had neglected to mention Faith’s sacrifice.

Buffy attempted a small smile belying the turmoil within. Had she matured or what? “Maybe that would work; it’s a blood tie of sorts. Will it work do you think after all this time?”

Angel just stared at her. Would he still have remnants of Faith’s blood in his dead body? Vampires were supernatural beings. Blood sustained them, gave them a semblance of life. A vampire absorbed blood magically having no circulation of their own. They were preternatural beings, outside the circle of life. They were dead so did not need to eat, breathe, pee or any of the norms that humans needed to do to survive. Did a victim’s blood fade away in time or leave some lasting trace? This was something that he had considered over the decades since he regained his soul. Did the blood of all those thousands he had eaten remain, however miniscule, to remind him of his deeds? How else could he remember every single one?

“Angel?”

When the vampire didn’t respond Gunn touched Buffy’s arm gently. “I want in, can you use me?”

Buffy looked at the earnest black man and back to Angel. “I think he could use a friend right now, so yeah if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.” Gunn whispered before raising his voice. “Hey Angel!”

The vampire blinked.

“You back with us man, because Faith needs us.”

“Us?” he asked uncertain.

Gunn closed the gap until he was at arms length to the vampire. “The way I figure is that you will be going to Europe with Buffy to help rescue Faith and I want to be a part of that. She helped us out in a tough spot; the least I can do is return the favour. Besides, we’re a team,” he held up a hand when Angel appeared to reply, “at least we were and I’m not taking no as an answer.”

Angel sighed. It looked as if events had once again transpired against him and he was once again responsible for people’s lives whether he liked it or not.

“Angel?”

He glanced over to the slayer his mind apparently made up for him. “How soon can we leave?”

Charles Gunn grinned and punched his friend in the arm. “Give me an hour man.”

He turned around and winked at the slayer as he passed her a spring in his step. “Lorne’s,” he said.

“Passport,” she replied watching him go.

“On it,” he called and took off down the street.

Buffy walked to stand beside Angel. “Thanks Angel. I’ll let Giles know that there are three of us coming, he can make the necessary arrangements.”

“I don’t have a passport,” was his reply as they started towards their destination.

“Flying is also out,” he added when she didn’t speak.

“Oh I don’t think that is going to be a problem.” Buffy said with a mischievous glint in her eye when she looked up at him.

The phone came out again and Buffy told Giles to hurry things up and there would be three for dinner. Lorne’s dive was before them as Buffy shut off her cell and Angel hesitated. Maybe he could wait out here.

“Don’t be ridiculous. He won’t bite.”

Now Angel knew that Buffy couldn’t read his mind. Hello! Vampire! But she had just plucked that thought right out of his head.

When Angel turned his head around at her, Buffy regretted the snap in her words. She had felt his hesitation and had forgotten her resolve to go gently and had reverted to type.

“Sorry but you know I’m right. Come on!” She left him on the street as she descended into the club, her heart racing hoping he would follow.

Angel watched her go his feet still planted in one spot. A couple of poorly disguised demons shouldered him aside trying to enter and the vampire slumped against the wall. The tension he had been feeling in Buffy’s presence faded suddenly and he needed the wall to keep standing. He closed his eyes in relief and replayed the evening’s events in his mind.

Buffy caught Lorne’s eye as she entered the club and he patted the scaly demon he had been talking to on the back and made his way to her.

“Angel’s up top,” she blurted, “and I need to get my things. He has agreed to help us rescue Faith-”

“Is our delicious dark slayer in trouble again?” He chuckled. “That girl can really-”

Buffy stamped her foot. “Does everyone know Faith in this town? Listen, “she looked towards the stairs, still no Angel, “I don’t know if he will come in but I don’t want him to change his mind. Do you think?”

“Consider it done cupcake.” Lorne twirled away leaving his empty glass on a table as he passed and Buffy raced to her room to gather her clothes.

Angel knew the moment Lorne reached the street and he opened his eyes to see that familiar green face before him. The Pylean looked the same, still dressed outrageously and still as green. He didn’t know what to say to Lorne and wondered if he could still call him friend.

Lorne could sense the withdrawn emotions coiled tight inside the vampire, so withdrawn they were almost absent. Tight things tended to break however and he knew that when Angel broke it would be a hell of an explosion. He looked into wary eyes.

“Angel cakes,” he put on his best smile, “still looking fabulous I see.”

“Lorne” Angel acknowledged warily.

“Is that anyway to greet an old friend?” He held his blue tailored arms out.

“Are we still friends?” Angel whispered.

Lorne leaned forward and touched the vampire’s arm. “Yes we are,” he said as he stared into eyes the colour of the night. “I know what I said, and what happened- it’s in the past. I’m over it and let’s go downstairs and have a drink while we wait for miss slayer?” he urged tugging gently on the arm of a being that could kill one in the blink of an eye.

Lorne breathed thankfully when the vampire allowed himself to be led.

The club was loud with demon language and music but Lorne found a quiet corner to sit. Angel put down his bag and weapons that the doorman had tried to confiscate without success on the seat beside him. Lorne had had to vouch for him before either a brawl ensued or the vampire walked away.

Lorne waved to the bartender, made a complicated hand signal and turned to his friend.

“I know I said don’t come looking for me, and I’m glad you didn’t but that was then and this is now.” He paused searching for the right words.

“You did what you had to and I did what I never thought I would but in the end? I had to.”

The drinks arrived and Angel was surprised that his was human. He lifted an eyebrow at his fellow demon.

“You looked as if you needed it. Don’t worry, it’s from the bank.” Lorne watched as the vampire took the welcome food. So, some things had changed. He took a welcome gulp of his own sea breeze.

“As I was saying and feel free to jump in anytime soon,” sip, “I killed a human, all be it an evil one, and all those times I counselled you against, I ended up doing.” Gulp. “But in the end, after the smoke had cleared, literally, I had to be honest with myself. I was on board the evil ship lollipop well before you signed up and so was Charles. Wesley and Fred were on their way to being on board too. So the way I figure, sugar, is that I did what I had to do to stop the world from being sucked under and I have to live with that the same as you do. So, yes, we are still friends and you can come looking for me anytime.” He placed his empty glass next to the bloodstained one on the table.

“I’m sorry it had to come to that.” Was all Angel had to give.

“Me too sugar, me too.”

A drunken demon bumped into Lorne from behind and begged that he go do a reading, so the Pylean ordered another two drinks, Jamesons for Angel this time and followed the client to the stage after insisting the vampire stay and wait for Buffy.

Angel looked about and noticed some of the patrons giving him the once over. When his eyes fell on them they quickly averted their gaze. He shrugged his shoulders and tried to relax. He hoped that The Senior Partners didn’t have spies among the crowd. He accepted the whiskey when it came and enjoyed the pleasant burn down his throat as he contemplated the folly of once again getting involved with people.

Buffy hurried through the hall door bag in hand looking for a tall dark handsome vampire and his green friend. Her heart sank when she noticed Lorne standing stage side, sans vampire, but her spirits rose when Lorne nodded to a quiet corner to her left and there he was. His back was to the wall giving him a good view of the surroundings but she doubted that he saw anything other than the glass of golden liquid he was staring into.

“Sorry,” she mumbled as her bag hit a rather short rubbery demon in her way. Eww! Only a mother could love that she thought as she finally made it to Angel.

She dumped her bag next to Angel’s and slid into Lorne’s vacant chair. “I see you made it,” she smiled when he lifted his dark head.

“Did you speak to Lorne?” she asked when there was no answer.

“Yeah,” he admitted and Buffy was sure that Lorne would have done all the talking.

“So!” Get it over with Buffy, she thought, “About the no passport and no flying thing.”

He waited.

“Normally we could teleport but three people is a big ask and Willow is exhausted from trying to find Faith and the Coven doesn’t deem it dire enough to warrant so-” she took a big breath, “so we have to use conventional methods.”

He waited.

“Giles has organised two tickets to London and arranged a casket for a loved one,” she said in a rush squeezing her eyes shut knowing what the reaction would be on the word casket. She knew that Angel had a pet peeve about the misconception of vampires sleeping in coffins.

“I’m sorry!” she pleaded. There was silence and she cautiously opened one eye and the other followed when the silence continued.

If possible Angel seemed to have paled to the point of white. His fingers gripped the glass, hard and he made an effort to let it go.

“Tonight?” he croaked, licked his suddenly dry lips and poured some whiskey through them.

“Tonight,” She nodded. “We need to go to the undertakers and from there we go on to LAX. Wilson Funeral Directors sometimes do favours for The Council so they will be discreet.” Buffy wondered if it had been anger that made him pale so. It couldn’t be fear because Angel wasn’t afraid of anything. “We just need Gunn and we’re all set.”

At that moment Lorne reappeared, a new drink in hand. “Some people just shouldn’t ask to get their fortune read.”

He commandeered a seat from the next table and slouched into it looking most put out.

“Why, didn’t he like what you read?” Buffy asked her mind still on the paler than pale vamp sitting with her.

“It’s not like he didn’t ask.” He swung his head to glare at the demon he had read and turned back to his friends.

“So! It’s saddle up time amigos. Where and when do you go?”

“London. Faith’s disappeared into a portal and we need Angel to find her, hence the hasty depart.”

Lorne looked at Buffy with sympathy. “Portal huh? Seen enough of those in my lifetime!”

Angel spoke surprising them and himself. “Lorne’s from another dimension.”

Lorne smiled at Angel. “Pylea, a place you never want to visit. It’s a Hell dimension for humans and some of the natives, mainly yours truly and I sincerely hope that Faith hasn’t fallen into one of those,” he finished his smile gone.

“Oh?” Buffy looked at the green demon with interest. “That’s another story you owe me but not now as we have to go-”

Buffy was interrupted by Gunn’s arrival. “Are we set?” he asked shrugging his carry all off his shoulder and onto the floor.

The two demons and one slayer looked at the tall handsome Gunn. He was dressed in smart street casual, greys and browns that complemented his dark skin.

“Passport?” Buffy asked liking what she saw.

Gunn placed his large hand on his chest. “Got it.” He grinned at her.

“I must say you look completely edible muffin, but since when did you carry a passport?” Lorne leaned back in his chair to give the demon hunter an appreciative once over.

“Since we had to go underground.” He leaned closer and whispered conspiratorially, “Don’t worry it’s in another name.”

“One of those huh? And to whom are we addressing now?”

“Wilbur Smith.”

Buffy tried to smother her laugh but was unsuccessful. Lorne however didn’t bother to try and both were laughing even harder at Gunn’s look of indignation. Angel was confused as to the why they were laughing but he refused to show it so he sat watching the hilarity.

“What’s so funny?” Wilbur Smith glared.

“It’s the name sweet cheeks,” Lorne chuckled.

“Isn’t Smith a dead give away?” Buffy giggled.

“Smith is a perfectly good name. It happens to be the name of someone I admire.” Gunn had his hands on hips now in high defence mode.

“Who might that be?”

“Wil Smith,” he retorted. “He and Denzel are one of the finest actors of today.”

“Oh I get it.” Lorne grinned at Buffy and added, “Wilbur Smith-Wil Smith. Get it?”

“You know, he does look kinda like him, cute!” Buffy peered up at the guy in question.

Angel stood suddenly reminding them of more pressing matters. They sobered instantly. Truth be told, Angel felt something stirring inside and he hastily pushed it down out of sight. He was still on edge about the whole coffin thing but refused to give into the unease.

“Lorne,” Buffy slowly stood as she looked from Angel to Lorne, “thank you for putting up with me and for the hospitality. I’m sorry we have to run but,”

“Sure honey bun. People to save, I know and it’s been a pleasure. Don’t forget us will you?” He stood and reached out to squeeze her hand.

“Charles.” Lorne hugged his friend and he turned his attention to Angel as Buffy and Gunn politely grabbed their bags and moved away to give them space.

“Take care Angel and don’t be such a stranger.” He put out his hand.

Angel reached out and clasped the Pylean’s hand watching the other’s face carefully. He nodded and picked up his kit and walked away.

“Take care!” Lorne called out to the other two warriors as they hurried after the vampire. “God speed,” he whispered.

The ride in the taxi was subdued. Angel sat up front with the driver while Buffy and Gunn sat in back. Buffy had explained the plan and Gunn shot the vampire a look of concern to the back of his head.

“Does Angel know?” he had asked and when she replied “yes, why?” he had tightened his lips and looked at Angel.

Buffy decided now wasn’t the time but she would be asking questions later to her new friend.

It was late when they arrived at the undertakers but the business was open to them. They were shown into the loading area where a hearse awaited, a coffin stood open. The two men stood aside when Angel glided by. He caught a trickle of fear from them as he gauged the length and breadth of the casket. He felt a touch of that fear himself at the thought of being locked into another one of these, although the silk lining and pillow looked far more comfortable than his last watery confines. The size seemed right but he had one change to make.

“A lock?” he inquired with a raised brow.

“To stop meddlers sir,” the older one licked his lips nervously. “It’s more a security requirement really.”

“I want it off and an internal one installed. Is that possible?”

The men looked at each other and then back to the vampire, for they knew that was what he was.

“It’ll take a few minutes but we can do that.” They moved as Angel stepped back to where Gunn and Buffy watched.

“Leave the outside lock as a dummy. No one will be able to open the casket unless I permit it.”

The younger attendant went to collect tools as the older man bent to examine the lock.

Gunn squeezed the vampire’s shoulder briefly and nodded his understanding of the changes. Buffy was puzzled and it showed but she guessed that as Angel was the one travelling cooped up then he could change anything he wished.

Still squinting in puzzlement Buffy suggested that if Angel had room they could place their weapons with him to avoid airport security.

They waited patiently as the lock was changed and the debris was cleared away. His face impassive, Angel climbed into the coffin his black clothing in stark contrast to the white silk. He lay down getting as comfortable as he could and his friends placed his and their weapons down the sides of his legs. Gunn stood back and stared at the sight of his friend in the coffin. He couldn’t bring himself to make a smart remark, enough loved ones had been denied a burial and he knew that Angel wouldn’t appreciate it.

Buffy gazed into the dark eyes that stared up at her. “Are you okay?”

His lips barely moved. “Fine.”

She leaned closer. “Do you need to feed, I forgot to ask earlier?”

His eyes were ebony bright. “No.”

Her lips were mere inches away and then they were on his cheek the slightest pressure of a kiss then gone. Buffy’s eyes were shining with unshed tears.

“I’m sorry,” she breathed. “Try and sleep.”

She watched as the men closed the lid on the dead man inside and felt her heart wrench at the ordeal of travelling in a confined space at the mercy of others. Maybe that was the reason for the internal lock; it gave him some measure of control.

Gunn had Angel’s bag along with his own as he and Buffy climbed into the front seat of the hearse. They didn’t speak as both wondered if Angel could hear. At the airport they were given special attention as benefited the bereaved. The undertaker had the papers in order and Buffy and Gunn were escorted in the departure lounge while Angel was taken to the waiting aircraft.

“Is it my imagination or is something bothering Angel?” She turned to her travelling companion.

“You mean other than everything?” he stalled.

“You know him, he’s not afraid of anything or doesn’t let on he is. But something is not right and I know you know so spill!” She threatened.

Gunn slumped into his chair, his long legs sticking out in front. “Before Jasmine and before we called forth Angelus, something happened.” He rapped his knuckles against his temple. “My memory is a bit hazy but Angel went missing for three months one summer. Holtz,” now he held up a hand against the question forming, “long story, but he was Angelus’s sworn enemy from two hundred years ago. Anyway when he died he arranged for Angel to be trapped and bound inside a steel coffin and then they dumped him into the ocean.”

“Oh God!” Buffy’s hand flew to her mouth and tears filled her eyes. “Three months! How did- what did you- how was he?” She couldn’t get past the horror of the image in her mind of Angel, cold and alone in the dark at the bottom of the sea. No wonder he was so broken. She thought clawing her way out of her grave had been soul destroying, something both she and Angel had in common but to be sent to the bottom of the ocean, to spend eternity trapped in hunger and madness? Her mind couldn’t comprehend that. She took a shaky breath as her eyes overflowed.

“Can you imagine?” Gunn didn’t finish as he realised that Buffy was crying and he reached out to squeeze her shoulder. Thinking of it made him feel ill, as did a lot of things that happened before and after Angel’s return.

Two airline attendants watched the handsome black man put a comforting hand on the blonde’s shoulder. They thought they were watching two grieving people as the pretty blonde wiped away her tears with the back of one hand. These two had been given priority seating and had been upgraded to Business Class in deference to the sombre task of accompanying the casket of the girl’s brother in the hold. ‘Such a waste,’ thought the middle aged one thinking the brother must have been young.

Gunn continued to fill in the details of Angel’s rescue by Wesley who had been alienated from the group by some reason that failed to come to mind. Buffy was eager for details of everything connected to Angel but Gunn held back a lot as he thought that if the vampire wanted Buffy to know then he would be the one to tell her. He had no qualms about delving into his own adventures with Angel Investigations and Buffy seemed happy with that.

The trip to England was long and uneventful. Buffy worried about Angel below. Was he sleeping or lying there a bundle of nerves? Exhaustion however won and Buffy slipped into oblivion, the slayer and her companion managed a few hours sleep in relative comfort.

The day greeted the weary travellers, bright and sunny, not a typical London afternoon.

“Typical!” Buffy thought as they headed for the loading bay after clearing customs. “Where’s the dreary cloudy British sky when you need it?”

It was nearing dusk when the hearse and Buffy and Charles Gunn and a new watcher by the name of Henry arrived at Rupert Giles country home. It was where he had taken Willow after her breakdown after trying to destroy the world. The country estate had become Watcher Central, the London office was small and discreet and basically a call centre that redirected genuine callers and gathered information to Rupert Giles.

Giles and Andrew were waiting for them and introductions were made. Buffy tapped her foot impatiently and Giles had the car directed around to the garaging. Gunn was as impatient as Buffy in seeing Angel out of his coffin. These people were strangers and he knew that the vampire would be eager to be up and about and Gunn was eager to see his familiar face.

Henry and the driver Sean, pulled the casket out of the back of the hearse and Giles and Andrew helped lift it to the ground. The car had been backed in so the dying rays of the sun wouldn’t harm the vampire when he emerged.

Buffy leaned over the coffin and whispered to the vampire within. “It’s safe now Angel.”

Henry and Sean stepped back in fear, knowing that Angel was a friendly vampire and meeting one close up were two different things. The others though stood close as the lid opened and the vampire blinked up at them.

Andrew thought of the numerous vamp movies he had seen and wondered if the directors had known real vampires because it felt as if he was in a B grade horror movie. He shivered as goose bumps raced up his spine.

Buffy offered her hand as Angel surveyed the humans before him and his eyes flicked to the fading daylight as he accepted her offer. Buffy looked closely at Angel as he stood and decided that his eyes were definitely haunted.

Angel had been surprised at the kiss that had brushed his cheek as he lay in his coffin. He had reflected on it and its owner for quite a few hours before succumbing to sleep. By then he was thousands of miles high and there was little else he could do. Focussing on Buffy and their on again off again turbulent past had been a way of keeping his mind off the fact that once again he was confined in a small space though it was in the heavens he soared not that he could enjoy the view. Unbidden a flash of memory showed him the small glass window that Connor had kindly provided for his ocean sojourn. It looked as if even Buffy couldn’t stave off a few unwanted thoughts.

His sensitive hearing had alerted him to the fact that they had arrived and Buffy’s whisper had confirmed the safety of emerging from the casket. He definitely wouldn’t be using one of these again in a hurry as he rose surprising himself by accepting her hand.

Gunn came over and slapped his arm. “Good to see you.” He peered into Angel’s face. “Not a fun ride I take it?”

“No.”

Angel released the slayer’s hand and bent to retrieve the weapons. He handed them to their owners as Gunn exchanged his bag for his axe. The American turned to stand with his friend as they faced the Watchers.

Giles spoke. “Thank you for coming Angel.” He observed the vampire before him. It had been several years since last they met and the being before him was changed. Outwardly he was the same not so young man, but Giles could see the steel in Angel’s eyes. This was no longer the creature that carried his guilt on his sleeve; rather it was buried deeper for private viewing. This was someone who was used to wielding power, was used to making the hard decisions and who also had had friends who cared about him.

“Sorry about the mode of travel. You are welcome here,” he said by way of invitation. He coughed when there was no reply.

“I have put aside a room for your use, you and Charles here have to share. I hope that won’t be inconvenient?” Giles lead the way into the large rambling house.

Gunn answered for the both of them. “No, that’ll be fine Mr Giles. Thanks.”

“Please, call me Giles, the rest of the children do.”

Buffy leaned in close. “Are you okay?”

Angel nodded and instead answered the watcher. “A shower would be most welcome and then I think we should get down to business.”

“Of course; Xander and Kennedy will be arriving anytime soon. Do you require nourishment, we have some on hand?” He stood at a door, hand on the handle. The house seemed large and old and slightly drafty to Gunn but then Gunn had lived in the basement of abandoned buildings so it was nothing new.

Angel kept his voice even. He was here for Faith; he couldn’t let his feelings get the better of him so he was magnanimous about the watcher feeding him. “Thank you.”

The room that was temporarily theirs was large and comfortable. Twin beds took up half of the room, a sofa and desk were tucked in a corner and the door to the bathroom stood open. Unusual for an old English home, Angel figured it had to have been added in more recent times.

“The kitchen has prepared a meal for the rest of us. When you’re ready, come through. Buffy?” Giles raised his brows at her and left.

Buffy wanted so much to have some alone time with Angel but now she could see it would have to wait. He was standing there watching her and for a moment she stilled and returned his regard.

Shaking her head in apology, her shoulders shrugged in agreement. “Sorry, it looks like I’m in demand.”

She gave him a quick smile as she scooted out the door. Over her shoulder she called, “see you at dinner.”

“So that’s Buffy and Giles. Can’t want to meet the others!” Gunn was standing beside one of the beds, his bag and axe atop the coverlet and he was also observing his friend. When Angel deposited his weapons and bag on the other bed but refused to be drawn he added,

“I could use a shower. Do you mind if I?”

“Go ahead Charles.” Angel walked to the small desk and picked over the small pile of books. He heard Gunn rustle through his bag and then the bathroom door closed with a click.

Angel left the books and ventured to the window where he parted the drapes. The evening had just begun; the countryside was bathed in the rosy hue of the setting sun. It was beautiful. Although he loved the nightscape of the Los Angeles skyline, he was reminded of the beauty of the tranquil country. Especially at sunset where day meets night and he can enjoy a rare sight of the fading day. Here he can forget the recent past and just enjoy; a rare luxury.

He was still there when Gunn emerged all damp and freshly dressed. He felt Gunn’s closeness and then a squeeze at his shoulder. Since when did Charles Gunn offer friendly pats to him a vampire?

“See you soon,” Gunn rumbled and then his footsteps moved away.

Angel roused himself and headed for the shower. Time to wash away the taste of that coffin that permeated his senses.

There was a mug of warm blood on the desk when he exited the bathroom, steam wafted after him trying to cling to his body as he moved to his bed. He neatly folded his discarded shirt and donned a dark blue sweater, tied his laces before picking up the mug of blood and quietly left the room, followed the hall until he found a door that led to the garden. No one noticed him as he slipped through the house and there was no one to notice his figure gliding through the cottage garden stopping only when he found an old wooden bench left to disrepair in the long grass.

He was eager to start the process of finding and rescuing Faith but knew that nothing could be done until Xander returned with the Eye. So he sat enjoying the solitude and the warm blood. It was never enough of course. A mug? In his day, Angelus drank several people per night. One human contained many times the quantity a mere mug carried. He was always hungry, even when he drank two or three mugs at one sitting. He finished it in a couple of long swallows and resisted the urge to lick the cup clean. He placed the empty vessel on the grass beside his feet and inhaled the scent of the many blooming flowers that permeated the air.

“There you are.”

Her voice pierced the quiet even at the half whisper uttered but he wasn’t surprised. He had picked up her scent and heartbeat before she spoke. Her warmth reached out for him as she sat down beside him and he wished that she wouldn’t.

“Not one for a simple British meal I see,” she stated. “Charles however seems to like his food.”

Giles had debriefed Buffy in his office and plainly he was worried about Angel’s state of mind. Buffy supposed that he was concerned that Angel could be a danger to them all and wondered if they were demanding too much. Buffy in turn had interrogated Giles on his decisions regarding Angel in the past and there had been harsh words said on both sides. Both had agreed that Angel was Faith’s only hope at rescue so they had no choice but to use the vampire. Buffy had a sense of déjà vu about the whole Faith needing Angel scenario. She had showered and changed and had grabbed a sandwich and drink as she introduced Gunn to the table of slayers and watchers that had gathered to eat. Buffy had peeked in at Willow on her way past but the witch had been asleep. When she saw the guest room empty she knew just where to find the wayward vampire. She had hoped that he would appear in the kitchen but hadn’t really held out for it to happen.

“It’s nice out here in a woodsy kind of way,” she said after waiting awhile for him to speak. He was so still sitting there and so sad. He tried so hard to hide it but Buffy could feel it sometimes. Other times he was made of granite, emotionless, smooth and beautiful. Unreadable and she didn’t like the fact that she couldn’t read him now, only the quick glimpses that slipped his control was all she had now.

Angel’s mouth twitched in the dark and he was glad she couldn’t see. Buffy really was a city girl at heart. He supposed Sunnydale was as small as she could take.

“It won’t be long now. Someone has been sent to pick them up from the station.”

Oh, so that was the vehicle he had heard leave earlier. He looked up at the stars and marvelled at their beauty.

“Angel?”

Oh. She was waiting for him to speak. “Woodsy?”

She smiled in the dark knowing he could see. “Well you know, grass, trees, flowers, wind, nature. Woodsy.”

“The stars Buffy,” he murmured still looking skyward.

She turned her eyes to the heavens and gasped. They were beautiful and she hadn’t taken the time to notice until now. And there were so many, the sky was liberally sprinkled with a myriad of twinkling jewels. Buffy inclined so that her head rested on Angel’s shoulder as she gazed up at the sky. It was a moment before she remembered that perhaps he would mind but he hadn’t moved away so she settled back more comfortably. It felt like old times, leaning against a tombstone gazing up at the stars except this was England and the tombstone was his shoulder.

“So beautiful,” she murmured.

Angel let his shoulders relax when Buffy leaned into him. He knew this was going to happen. He knew that contact with Buffy and people he cared about would crack the defences he had erected. His heart was melting and he knew that that was a dangerous thing. People he cared about died, but for now he was tired, too tired to make an effort so he allowed the weight of Buffy to settle against him. It wasn’t quiet in the country, contrary to popular belief. Vampire hearing or no, the sound of the crickets and frogs, a night bird or two and the breeze rustling through the leaves of the trees were ceaseless. Angel could still hear the beat of Buffy’s heart above all that, could feel it thudding through her into him and it was soothing. He knew without turning his head the moment she drifted off, her heart at a restful pace her breathing even. He settled back taking more of her weight and allowed himself this small happiness.

He wasn’t aware of time passing; he never was, deep in reflection, however the sound of a car and voices pulled him back. He looked down and marvelled at the sleeping beauty at his side. He waited for the inevitable and he was rewarded with the sound of Willow calling for Buffy. As he knew the redhead found them out in the garden, Buffy rousing from her sleep as her name was called out again as Willow neared.

“Buffy? Buffy and Angel? Oh my God! You’re here!” Willow stopped short before she bumped into them.

“Willow?” Buffy sat up squinting in the dark at her friend. “Willow you’re awake!”

“So are you,” Willow chuckled and she leaned forward to give Buffy a hug.

Angel stood suddenly and stepped away from the two women giving them space. Buffy got to her feet as Willow released her and went to give Angel a hug. The vampire stiffened as the witch put her arms around him.

Willow felt that and released him quickly saying, “Hey Angel.”

“Hey Willow.” He stood there uncomfortably. He saw her frown before she turned back to Buffy.

“Xander and Kennedy are back.”

“Oh that’s great, now we can get on with the spell.” Buffy brushed at her hair and wondered how long she had been asleep. She was well aware of Angel’s eyes on her.

Willow’s teeth flashed in the moonlight. “So you found him.” She turned to the vampire. “How have you been?”

Now that was a good question. How did he answer that? Fine, most of my friends are dead, no one remembers my son and I cannot speak his name, The Senior Partners wish me dead so I cannot form new friendships or reacquaint with the old, and it’s my fault. Yeah, everything is just peachy.

The moment must have stretched too far as now both women were peering at him. “I’m good.”

The peering lasted another moment before Buffy hastily asked, “How are you feeling Will? Are you up to more mojo cause I don’t want you to put yourself at risk here?”

Buffy moved away back towards the house and Willow followed. “I’m fine Buffy. I know what I’m doing. I got wasted from trying the locator spell once too often. It’s been twelve hours now and I’m fed and good as new. Sorry about the lack of teleportation…” Buffy looked back to see if Angel was following but he was standing looking the other way.

Angel could still hear the girls as they disappeared inside but he tuned them out. He looked about the garden and then up again at the stars. He let out a breath he seemed to be holding forever. Picking up his long forgotten cup he made his way back to his room. It was empty so he rinsed the mug and decided it was time to enter the lion’s den, he had put it off for too long.

The hall branched off into the main entrance and several rooms and another hall beckoned. He followed the faint sounds of familiar voices and soon stood before the library door. It was open and he slipped just inside unnoticed to all. There was an argument underway and it appeared as if he was the cause.

“So Dead Boy is here and why do we trust him?” Xander was facing the others, Angel could see the eye patch on his left from where he stood.

“We need him Xander.” Buffy said arms crossed and glaring at Harris.

Xander’s arms went up. “Hello people! This is the vampire who had control of The Evil Law Firm from Hell. You can’t tell me that he wasn’t corrupted. Giles knows that.” He turned his head daring some one to challenge his words. “And let’s not forget the little fact that he has a BLOOD connection to Faith.”

“Xander!” Willow hissed from the couch.

The melting ice around Angel’s heart solidified once more. This was why he needed to be alone; he didn’t need this mistrust and fear, didn’t want to be reminded of all that he had once been. He did that for himself just fine.

Charles Gunn rose from his chair. “You are talking about my friend.” Gunn surveyed the room his eyes came back to this Xander person.

“I thought you were his friends.” He growled. “This is the Champion of The Powers That Be you are talking about. He has saved the world many times and,” his finger jabbed at Xander, “that means he has saved you. You don’t know what we have lost in doing that. We took down Wolfram and Hart and stopped The Apocalypse, from the inside!”

“Huh! We have one of those every year!” Xander interjected. Several heads nodded.

“The Apocalypse, capital A,” Gunn shouted. He nodded at the shocked faces.

Andrew spoke for the first time. “How do you know it was The Apocalypse? Who told you?”

Gunn just glared at the runt. He hadn’t liked him in L.A and he didn’t like him now. “We had our sources and they were on the mark.”

“But-” Andrew began but Giles cut him off. “And yet here you are so I presume you handled it.” His tone was cold.

Gunn looked about the room seeing people who fought the good fight, people who were friends, and people who were supposed to be friends with the vampire with a soul. Some friends he thought.

“I see you all have each other and more besides, Angel has lost Doyle, Cordelia, Fred and Wesley. Do you know what that feels like?” He glared about.

Xander blanched and backed down. He did know what that was like. Anya had died at The Hellmouth and still he missed her. Wait! Did Gunn just say Cordelia?

“What about Cordy?”

Gunn pointed a finger Xander but a soft voice from the door stopped his next words.

“Gunn.”

Everyone turned to see the vampire standing there. He stepped further into the room staying close to the wall and stopped there, in the shadows where he belonged.

“Angel,” Gunn acknowledged and went to stand next to his friend, to show some solidarity. The two of them stood before the others. Gunn crossed his arms in defiance his eyebrow raised up a notch.

“Angel.” The Watcher quickly put in from behind his desk. “Xander and Kennedy,” he indicated a dark haired girl sitting on the floor, “were successful. We have the Eye of Akron.”

Buffy stood in the middle of the room uncertain and damned annoyed at Xander and his damned prejudice. She could see the emptiness back in Angel’s eyes just when she thought that she was making headway. He must have heard quite a bit of the argument. Making up her mind she went over to him.

“It’s just Xander being Xander,” she whispered. “Come and sit.” She jerked her head in the direction of the couch.

He looked down at her his face impassive. “Standing is good.”

“Okay.” She tried for a reassuring smile and turned. Walking past Xander she punched his arm sending him reeling back to his seat.

“Ow!” He rubbed his arm but Buffy refused to look at him.

Buffy’s heart was racing as she resumed her seat next to Willow who put a hand on hers and squeezed. Kennedy sat quietly watching Angel, intrigued at the appearance of Buffy’s other vampire lover. He was not what she expected. She thought he would be another Spike, all cocky and bluster, not quiet and dark and certainly not so good looking, if you liked that sort of thing. She leaned back against the couch her shoulder rubbed against Willow’s knee. She would be keeping an eye on him.

The room was quiet and Giles took the opportunity to continue. He picked up a purple coloured pebble between his thumb and forefinger and showed it to the room.

“This is The Eye.”

“That thing?” Buffy’s eyebrows went up. “It looks like a stone.”

“Quite right Buffy.” Giles stood and began to pace, he was in lecture mode.

“It is a stone of sorts. It comes from inside a demon’s brain.” He stopped when “ew” resounded across the room.

“The Eye of Akron is used by the Exprsians,”

“Bless You.”

Giles frowned at Buffy and continued, “A demon race who worship Akron their God and this is his all seeing Eye.”

“He only has one eye?” Xander asked and Giles had to bite back the retort that came naturally when he saw Xander fingering his eye patch.

Gunn whispered to Angel. “Are they always like this?” Angel nodded without turning his head.

“No Xander.” Giles sighed. “There are several of these Eyes, it’s just a name. The demon that produces these are a rarity and the stone can only be harvested in the event of a natural death. A violent one renders the Eye useless.”

Buffy interrupted. “How does it work?”

Giles squinted at the slayer. “The Exprsians communicate to their loved ones through the Eye. They can ascertain their whereabouts and even send messages in some cases. Unfortunately we are not Exprsians, something to do with brain wave patterns but we have a spell that should help with that.”

“That’s where I come in.” Everyone looked at Willow.

Angel spoke. “Brain wave patterns. That could be a problem.”

All eyes turned to him.

“I think that the spell should take care of that although unfortunately you won’t be able to communicate with Faith.” Giles reassured him.

“What’s with the brain waves?” Xander wanted to know.

Buffy who knew the answer spoke up. “Vampires have no reflection and it’s the same with their thoughts. You can’t read their minds.” She looked over at the vampire remembering the time that she had the ability to read minds and had tried to read his.

“So, how do we do this?” Angel pulled his body away from the wall.

Willow lifted the book off her lap and stood softly nudging Kennedy aside. “We need you to lie down on the floor, the Eye resting on your third eye. We draw a circle around you with special sand, light the candles and herbs and say the spell.”

“What happens then?” Gunn had seen what Willow could do and had no qualms that it wouldn’t work.

“Angel should be able to get a sense of Faith, where she is, what she is feeling. He won’t be able to talk to her but he should be able to get a fix on her and maybe we can use that connection to open a portal to rescue her.”

When Willow mentioned portals Gunn winced internally. Portals were how they had found Fred and it was a portal that led to him losing her. No good had ever come of portals.

“When I find her do we go in right away?”

“I guess.” Willow was uncertain. “Maybe. Giles will be on hand to try and pin point the dimension.”

“Okay, get the room ready. I’ll get my sword and coat.” With that the vampire left the room with Gunn on his heels.

“Who made him the boss?” Xander complained as they watched them leave.

“I guess running Angel Investigations and Wolfram and Hart. Give us a hand Xander to move back the seats.”

“I guess a few stakes and a crossbow could come in handy,” Buffy told the two men as she left to collect her weapons.

Angel strapped a knife to his ankle and strapped on his stake contraptions to his arms as Gunn grabbed his axe and slid a knife into his belt. He grabbed a jacket for extra warmth over his sweat shirt.

“It looks as if you are expecting trouble,” he told Angel as the vampire picked up his sword after shrugging on his coat.

As they walked back down the hall way Angel replied, “Let’s hope the weapons come with us.”

“Say what? Is that a possibility cause no one told me?”

“It happened when I went into Skip’s dimension to break Billy out of jail.”

“Now he tells me,” Gunn muttered as they entered the library Buffy catching them up dressed for slaying; her weapons bag slung over one shoulder.

“Hey Buffy! I hope you’re not too attached to weapons because dimension hopping? Not guaranteed.”

“You know this how?” Buffy turned her head from the preparations going on to the handsome American.

He jerked his thumb to the vampire who was now laid out on the floor and having a magic sand circle poured around him. His sword lay outside the circle just within reach.

“Angel. Although the one time I went through a portal it wasn’t a problem.”

“You’ve been to other dimensions? What were they like?” The Watcher looked up from his book with interest.

“Well, for a demon dimension, not too bad if you didn’t count the fact that humans were cows and demons owned them.” Gunn sat in one of the chairs that had been moved over to the wall.

“Did time move differently there because when Buffy went to a Hell dimension it moved much faster?”

“You went to a Hell dimension? Man, this portal thing sure is popular.”

Buffy turned back to Willow and Angel. “Yeah and it was no picnic and if I had stayed there for a whole day I would have been old when I came back.”

Angel was listening to everything Buffy was saying, eyeing her from his peripheral vision as he looked towards the ceiling. Willow began lighting the candles as Kennedy lit the bowl of smelly herbs. Andrew had been asked to leave as well as Xander both grumbling as they left.

Gunn whistled. “This isn’t gonna happen this time though is it because when we came back from Pylea we didn’t notice any time differences?”

Buffy kneeled down beside the vampire. “Angel?”

“Every dimension is different from the next. I know of two Hell dimensions in which time moves at odds with ours but I’ve also been in others that it does not.” His eyes flicked once to her face and then he stared back at the ceiling.

Giles’ curiosity had been aroused. “Oh which ones, did they have names?”

Angel ignored the question. He didn’t want to dwell on Quortoth and all that entailed.

Willow and straightened. “There! It’s done. Are you ready Angel?” Her face came into his view.

“Yeah.”

The witch placed the Eye carefully on Angel’s forehead and stepped out of the circle. The door opened and then slammed shut.

“I’m staying and that’s final!” Xander announced loudly put out that he had been asked to leave because he couldn’t contain his remarks.

“Fine just don’t get in the way and keep your mouth shut Xander!” Willow pointed to the wall beside Gunn and Xander complied. Gunn looked the young man over carefully trying to see the warrior inside the insecurity.

Buffy patted the vampire’s chest as she went to stand. “Good luck.” She carefully manoeuvred around the candles as Giles flicked off the lights.

Angel closed his eyes and let the Latin wash over him with along with the smell of candle wax and burning herbs. There was a tingle in the air, something supernatural. Angel could usually sense the use of magic, one of the benefits of being a vampire he thought. He wanted to ask if the others felt it too but knew better than to speak and break the spell.

The stone began to warm and he slid his lids open a fraction to see if there was a glow, there wasn’t and he closed them again. Willow stopped chanting and the silence rang in his ears. The Eye felt heavy and its warmth grew until he was sure it was going to burn against his cool brow.

Something…a flicker…a colour. His eyes were still closed he knew that and yet there was something there. He thought of Faith and visualized her form and features in his mind. He saw her smile, her tears, her fists and her strength. He felt her heart and suddenly he seemed to be weightless. There was a tug on his mind and he allowed himself to be pulled in that direction. He didn’t know how long the journey took; he was just there amidst the colour blue. He felt his heart beat and nearly jerked in surprise only to realise that he couldn’t find his body. He stilled, his breathing stopped; a reflex action only, and he concentrated. The blue disappeared and came back bringing pain as a companion. His leg and arm were on fire, the pain pulsing with each beat of his heart. He feared to move. She feared to move.

The blue turned and suddenly there was green and purple against her face. The world righted and lifted and he could see blood and leather and arms and legs. He/she was Faith, he recognised her form and she was injured. Faith scanned the terrain and he could see that she was out in the open under a sun in a blue sky. The world turned and he/she could see purple twisted trees at her back, turning again and Angel managed to make out that they were in long grass on the rise of a hill.

“Come on y.. bloo.. bitch! Move ..!”

Angel caught part of Faith’s monologue and tried to think thoughts at her. It wasn’t working, he knew that it wouldn’t but he had to try. He made an effort to clamp down on the pain and send encouraging thoughts to the dark haired slayer. He was gratified to see her pluck the knife from the long grass and get up on her hands and knees. The heart beat harder with the effort and Angel wondered that it didn’t burst. The world spun and Faith was upright, sort of, and staggering to shelter in the trees. A screech grated in her ears and Angel flinched at the sound of the demon high in the air. The shadow of the trees drew near at a painfully slow pace and as the cool shade slipped over the slayer so did exhaustion for Angel found himself alone inside his mind. Faith must have passed out and the vampire wondered about finding his way back to her. He centred his mind to the anchor connected to Faith and began to work his way back.

Buffy bit her lip and clenched her jaw. The room was eerily silent, the flicker of the candles added to the weird. They all watched as Willow leaned slowly towards the top of Angel’s head and without breaking the circle held her palms up to as close to the stone as possible. She smiled and leaned back and tip toed over to Buffy and the others.

“It’s working,” she whispered her eyes shining bright.

“Can we talk now?” Buffy hadn’t taken her eyes of Angel. He was so still.

“Just a whisper, we don’t want to break his concentration.” Willow looked down at her magic at work.

“The Eye, what did you feel?” Gunn whispered from his chair, he too was watching Angel very carefully.

“It was warm.” Willow lifted her eyes to watch Kennedy watching the vampire from the other side of the room.

“And that’s a good thing?” Xander dared to speak.

Giles nodded. “It was cool to the touch if you remember so it must be transmitting or doing its thing for want of a better word.”

“How long?” Buffy wanted to know.

“As long as it takes.”

“As long as Dead boy can make contact you mean.”

Gunn turned his head to look at Xander Harris and the man held his hands up and shrugged. Giles sat behind the desk that was covered in open books. Buffy sat on the edge of his desk and Willow softly tiptoed back to where Kennedy sat on the pushed back sofa. Xander slid slowly to the floor and they all watched and waited. Xander entertained the thought that Dead Boy was more apt than ever as now the vampire had ceased breathing. He really was a corpse that walked and talked. Xander shuddered. He hated vampires.

There was a loud thump somewhere in the house and everyone jumped.

“Jeez!” Buffy hissed looking around at the others before looking back down at Angel. His eyes were open.

“Angel?” She slid off the desk and once again knelt by his side. “Hey.”

Angel blinked into the dim light. The sense of blue was still with him and he realised that he had retained a tenuous connection with Faith. He held his head steady; he didn’t want the Eye to fall off.

“Willow?”

Buffy frowned when Angel called for Willow and ignored her. However her hurt feelings lifted with his next words.

“I’m here Angel.” Willow crouched on the vampire’s other side.

“I found her and I have a connection but will I lose it if I move? Do I have to have the Eye glued to my head?”

“Oh! Sorry. No, I think that holding it will keep that connection. Just move it to your hand. The hard part was getting the Eye attuned to you but now it’s working it should be no problem.”

Angel brought his hand up and carefully picked the stone up between his fingers and then slowly sat up. Willow stood but Buffy stayed on her knees beside him. She watched as his brow furrowed and his eyes went distant.

“Angel?”

At last he turned to look at her. “Just checking!” His eyes became pools of ebony and the candlelight played across his face highlighting every sharp angle. “Buffy, she’s hurt.”

Willow hit the lights and Angel blinked away the brightness.

“Hurt? How bad?” Buffy rose as Angel climbed to his feet.

“You could see her? Where was she?” Giles leaned forward concerned for the lost slayer.

“Not exactly.”

“Oh cryptic guy is back!” Xander complained.

“Guys!” Buffy held a hand up to shush them. “What did you see?”

Angel looked directly at the blonde slayer; he couldn’t take his eyes of her. “I was inside her. She couldn’t hear me but I could see and feel her.”

“Inside her?”

“Xander please! Continue Angel.” The Watcher growled at the boy.

“There’s blood, her leg and arm feel pretty bad, she can hardly walk but she’s alive.”

“Then we have to find her and help her before it’s too late.” Buffy hadn’t like Faith for a long time but she was her sister slayer and in trouble. She couldn’t leave her there and wasn’t that a big surprise? She looked at Angel and wondered again the depth of forgiveness and compassion he had for people, especially Faith.

“Did you get a glimpse of the world she’s in?” Gunn spoke reminding the others that he was still with them.

Angel tore his eyes away from Buffy to look at Gunn and Buffy felt the loss. “The sky is blue and the grass is green and,” he paused, “purple. The trees seem pretty twisted,” he added.

“Yep I’d say a demon dimension then.” Xander quipped. He hadn’t forgotten the question of Cordelia and he was determined to get answers soon.

“Talking of which I heard the cry of a demon and it wasn’t saying hello. I think she is being hunted.”

Buffy turned to her Watcher. “Giles, do you thing! We need to get there.”

Angel bent down and retrieved his sword as Willow and Kennedy snuffed and collected the candles. He stood once more reaching inside himself to feel the connection there only to be tapped gently on his ankle.

“Sorry Willow.” He moved out of the witch’s way which brought him closer to his friend.

“What’s it feel like?” Gunn asked as he watched Giles scribble something down as Buffy leaned over him with Xander at her side.

“Like a tether that’s stretched out but going nowhere. I can feel a tug and if I follow it I’m there.” Angel looked at the confused look that Gunn was giving him. “It’s hard to explain.”

Giles had been listening and he understood. “We will use that to locate the dimension. Willow has another spell that should do the trick.”

He gave Buffy the slip of paper he had been writing on. “This is the incantation to open a portal, it should bring you home. First though we have to know that which one will open a portal to take you there. So, shall we begin?” He stood.

Willow approached the desk and asked Angel to join her.

“Put you hand out over these books.” Angel gave Gunn his sword and complied.

“Now, close your eyes and visualize where Faith is.” Willow softly chanted a spell and the stone in Angel’s hand began to glow.

“That’s it Angel. Now pass your hand slowly over the books that are open here. God’s pray that it is among one of these.”

She and the others held their breath as he did so. As his hand passed over a crumbling tome of Giles’ the words began to glow.

“Stop!” His hand froze. “That’s the one Giles!” Willow was happy that her idea had worked.

Angel opened his eyes. He gazed at his glowing hand and the book below. “Is there a key?”

Giles gave the vampire a strange look before reaching for the book and begin to read the text. “I can in all honesty say that this makes no sense to me other that there appears to be a single line of words that could be the way in. It will take a while to translate.”

“We haven’t got time for that.” Buffy paced. “Let’s just go with trying to pronounce it and hope for the best.”

“Of course although I think-”

“Can you write that down as well?” Angel interrupted the Watcher from the beginning of what seemed a lecture.

“Just to be sure.”

“Of course. Good idea.” Giles bent his head to the book and began to write. “The other should work as it is a portal to our dimension you need.”

“The last time we needed to get back home we had to use a local book.” Angel pocketed the piece of paper. He walked over to Buffy and Charles Gunn joined them. He didn’t consider relating the one time where he went dimension hopping the key was a glowing orb that activated with a touch of blood. In fact the use of incantations was not always the key to opening portals.

“You did it again girl.” Gunn gave his best smile to the redhead who returned in kind.

“That’s my speciality.”

“She’s a Goddess.” Kennedy spoke for the first time and snaked an arm around Willow’s waist. Willow leaned into her touch and smiled at her.

“Thank you Willow. Giles let’s get going!” Buffy ordered; eager to go slay demons and rescue Faith but most of all go slay with Angel at her side. She was so aware of his presence next to her.

“How come Gunn’s going and I’m not?” Xander asked her breaking into her thoughts.

“Because he’s got the big axe and you haven’t and that wasn’t an invitation.”

Gunn smirked at the young man’s reaction of Buffy’s words.

Giles paced over to the trio. “Here goes.” Giles proceeded to recite the words handwritten on the ancient page. Angel listened closely to the pronunciation; it was some demonic language, in the event that he had to read out the words written on his piece of paper.

Charles Gunn had retained most of his upgrade but this language had not been included. He studied Angel’s profile and could see the concentration there. The man wasn’t quite himself, he could see that but this mission to help Faith had put him back in touch with people he cared about. Glancing back at Xander Harris Gunn amended that to some people he cared about.

The air in the room began to shimmer and swirl. Soon the swirl had taken on the look of a vortex with a dark light beckoning. A wind had picked up in the room snagging paper, clothing and hair.

“Well I guess it worked!” Buffy yelled her hair in her face.

“Let’s do this!” With that Angel stepped forward and disappeared into the vortex. Buffy and Gunn followed.

“God speed.” Giles murmured after them. The portal slowly disintegrated as they watched.

They stepped into inky darkness.

“Great, just what we need!” Buffy complained as she blinked blindly into the blackness.

“Is this a cave, it sounds hollow?” Gunn turned about trying to see something, anything.

“We’re underground.” Angel’s voice floated before them and his hand startled Buffy when he reached out. “We need to go this way.”

“Just what I needed, a heart attack Angel.” Rummaging could be heard. “What we also need is….” There was a click and light stabbed out from the flashlight in the slayer’s hand.

“Have light will travel. Not all of us have vampire night vision.” Her face shone ghostly off the beam.

“I’m glad one of us was thinking.”

Buffy swung the beam about illuminating Charles in the process. “Which way did you say?”

Angel indicated the way behind her and turning about she could see a path of sorts running uphill. The area was large almost cavernous and stalagmites rose from the ground. Angel held out a hand.

“I don’t think the light was such a good idea.” He raised his sword.

Buffy swung her bag to her feet and plucked out a small axe, leaving the light beaming away on top of the bag.

Gunn sidled over to the vampire. “What is it?” he whispered, axe held ready.

“Up against the wall!” Angel growled and as they ran he snagged Buffy’s weapons bag. The light bobbed frantically as the bag was thrown down next to them. It rolled off casting weird shadows at their feet. Angel picked up the thing and wedged it in a pile of stones the beam now shining higher.

“So what was it you were saying about the light?” Buffy recognised the reasoning behind Angel’s move. “These creatures may have an aversion to light; it could work to our advantage.”

“Yeah, and it can also be used as a greeting card. Here they come!”

Gunn not to be left out of the conversation added, “Here’s the welcoming committee.”

Dark shapes loomed suddenly and stone grey creatures rushed the three heroes. Angel angled his body away from Buffy giving her greater access to her foe, Gunn did the same on her other side. With the wall at their back they had a chance. The demons were undersized for a human, not quite reaching five feet in height. Their claws though were tough and blunt, built for digging and excavating. Angel’s sword and greater arm length decimated the attacking demons, Buffy and Gunn also doing damage to the onslaught.

A demon slid under a falling comrade and his pincer shaped claw gouged into Angel’s leg. His sword came down and severed the arm attached the creature screaming in agony. Angel felt like screaming himself with the white hot pain lancing into his leg. He only grunted and pried the appendage off and continued to hack away. He would heal.

Gunn had the air knocked out of him as one of the creatures jumped from the back of a dying demon into his ribs.

Buffy’s axe swung round and into its back. “Don’t you just love these little getaways? Nobody tells you the hosts are literally hosts from Hell.”

Gunn gulped for air as he pulled the dying demon away from his chest. “Next time we take the deluxe suite,” he wheezed “Is it me or are there not so many of these things?” He kicked it away and swung his axe at the next attacker.

Angel swung his sword once more decapitating another creature with Buffy stepping forward to slice her axe into the back of a now retreating foe. Gunn finished off something that was trying to crawl away into the dark.

“My guess is that we were not the easy meal they took us for.” Buffy leaned against the rock face to catch her breath.

“What were those things?” Gunn ran a hand over his sweating face.

“Who cares Gunn? Let’s hope they know we are not on the menu.” Buffy puffed.

“Let’s move!” Angel moved out of the soft light, the dark hiding his limp.

“We’re fine Angel, thanks for asking!” Buffy called after him but not unkindly. Once upon a time he would have been over anxious about any injury to her or her comrades.

She moved her aching body and retrieved her bag.

“Can I help you with that?”

“Thanks Gunn I’m good. Angel’s right we can’t hang around for too long. They might be back.” She held the light before her trying to catch Angel in its glow. He was gone.

“He can smell the blood you know.”

Gunn was lifting the bag off her shoulder. “I know.”

“That’s how he knows we are unharmed.” She explained as she let him have the bag.

“Figured.”

“I guess you know him pretty well by now.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” Angel confounded Gunn at the oddest times for all the years he had worked by his side.

The vampire was waiting for them at the next turn. The way still led up although it had started to narrow. With Angel in the lead the trio moved quietly through the tunnels until daylight broke the gloom ahead. As they neared the opening Buffy put out a hand and clutched at Angel’s arm.

“I guess we will have to wait until the sun sets to continue. You are after all our link to Faith.”

Angel gently disengaged his arm from her grasp. He gave her a look before turning to step closer.

“Angel!”

“Wait.” Gunn snatched at Buffy as she made to stop Angel’s advance hoping she wouldn’t forcibly resist. She stopped struggling as she watched her vampire stretch out his hand until his fingertips were bathed in blue sunlight. Wait blue sunlight? To her delight and amazement the fingers didn’t sizzle and Buffy realised her mouth was hanging open. She shut it with an audible click.

“How? What?”

Gunn supplied the answer with a grin. “Demon dimension. Pylea had two suns and you should have seen Angel when we first arrived. Man was frantic to get under cover until he realised the sun wasn’t turning him into a crispy critter. Then we couldn’t get him out of it.”

Angel ignored Gunn’s explanation as he tentatively moved the rest of his arm and then his body into the opening. The warmth hit his cool body and he stopped to bask for just a moment unaware that Buffy was watching in awe. It wasn’t as warm as Earth’s sun but it would do. He hadn’t stood in daylight since his tenure with Wolfram and Hart, one of the very few things that he sorely missed. He opened his eyes and crouched low as he stepped through the cave entrance to scout out the terrain. The others crowded behind and blinked in astonishment. They were high above the land on the side of a mountain. The ledge they stood on led to worn ancient stone steps that meandered down the side of the mountain to the lush green/purple valley below. Angel pivoted to look above at the rising land and saw that it wasn’t that far to the top. He had climbed higher.

“Angel! Look at you! You’re not bursting into flames.” Buffy clapped her hands her eyes were shining as she took him in. God! He was beautiful in sunlight.

“The sun is blue. The sky is blue.” Gunn’s gaze followed Angel’s up the cliff face.

“Yeah.”

“When you said the sky was blue we thought you meant sky blue, you know?”

“I told you the sky was blue.”

“But not that the sky, the sun and the air is blue Angel. Look at it. Everything is blue; you have a bluish tinge to you.”

Angel just looked at Buffy and then at Gunn. Oh yeah, they did look kind of blue, even Gunn who was black now seemed blue-black.

“Oh.”

“Oh?” Buffy arched her eyebrow. “And the grass is really green as in emerald from what I can see from way up here.” She leaned towards the edge as if getting a better look. “You need to brush up on your conversational skills Angel.”

Angel ignored that and found the stone tucked safely away in his trouser pocket. He clutched it in his hand and concentrated.

“Can you still get a sense of her?” Gunn was watching closely.

Buffy walked over to join them. “Are we close?”

Angel opened his eyes. “We have to go up.”

“Up?” Gunn eyed the cliff face behind them. “Are you sure because I hate to say it but that looks unclimbable.”

“We can go down but then it means we take the long way around, if there is a long way around.”

Buffy squared her shoulders. “Well up it is.” Her slayer eyes were already plotting a possible route up the mountain.

“I hope you have some rope in that bag of yours Buffy.” Gunn put the bag down for Buffy to access.

“Sorry.” She put her smallish axe still crusty with gore into the bag. Securing the catch she hefted the straps so that she could carry it across one shoulder and over her back.

Gunn slid his axe inside his sweat shirt and jacket leaving the head poking out; hopefully it wouldn’t decapitate him if he slipped. He wasn’t an outdoorsman but he was athletic so he hoped he wouldn’t slow them down.

Angel had his leather scabbard out from inside his coat and he secured it and the sword so that it fell diagonally across his broad back. He wanted to clean his favourite weapon but it would have to wait for a more opportune time.

“I’ll go first, Buffy you’re in the middle with Gunn at the rear.” Angel knew that Gunn was the weakest in this trio but he respected his honour and courage by not putting him in the middle. He would hold his own; he knew that he could count on Gunn to do his best.

Buffy was about to protest but she spotted the determination in Gunn’s eyes so nodded her agreement. The vampire led the way to the rock face and after deciding on the best way forward leaped up to clutch at a crack in the face. He carefully navigated a couple of handholds and levered his body up before springing once again several feet higher to another toehold. He hoped that his attempt to hide his injury had succeeded; his dark clothing had as usual masked the blood. The wound had settled down to a low burn and soon would be only an irritation.

Buffy and Gunn watched with awe and a great deal of envy.

“Show off!” Gunn muttered before sweeping his arm to invite the slayer to go next.

Buffy could leap higher than any normal mortal but the supernatural moves of a vampire scaling a cliff face were breath taking. Buffy decided she would stick with Gunn and leave the super moves to the un-dead.

“Can you do that-that- what he’s doing?” Gunn asked as she put her first foot forward.

“Yeah, but I don’t do well on cliff faces.” She pulled herself up with Gunn following. “I hear ya.”

It wasn’t that long before Angel made the last leap to the top. He peered down at his friends and saw that they had made a start. Good. Turning about the edge of the cliff that was stone, Angel could see the rocky land running into meadow and spare woodland. Although the unnatural shades of the foliage and the blue tinged air reminded Angel that he was no longer on earth. He pivoted to check on the toiling humans below again. They were fine. He could leave them for a few minutes while he explored a little. His limp was slight as he moved away, his leg was healing.

Gunn flinched as a piece of crumbling rock hit his head.

“Sorry!”

“I’m fine,” he puffed as he carefully followed Buffy up the rock face. His arms and legs were longer than hers so he waited until she was two moves ahead before his next move. He was sweating lightly and wished he had removed his jacket. Another wish was for some of Angel’s vampire moves so that he was at the top already.

“Are we nearly there yet?” Looking up for his next move he couldn’t help but notice the slayer’s butt above him. Naughty Gunn! What was it about skinny girls? Besides this was the love of Angel’s un-dead life. He valued his own to think any sort of thoughts about Buffy.

“Yeah.” She looked down at Gunn’s upturned face. “I can’t see Angel anywhere.”

“Lucky Son of a B…” Gunn breathed. He wedged his boot onto another rock and lifted his body. “Just another day at work huh?”

Buffy adjusted her bag before she reached for the next hold. “You got that right.” She paused. “Gunn? Why do you do it? Fight the good fight I mean?”

“Why do your friends do it?” he countered flexing his right calf muscle to alleviate the strain.

“I honestly don’t know. Perhaps they are just stupid and naïve. No, I’m kidding.” Another pause as she negotiated a large outcrop, “Because they care.”

“About you?” He asked as followed her.

“There’s that and I think they care about the world.”

“Well I then it seems as if we are not so different.” The African American reached the outcrop and pulled his body up and over. Ahead the slayer’s legs suddenly disappeared from view. Gunn hurried after her, they were at the top. The first thing he saw coming over the edge was the slayer’s back. She was searching the area for any threats and for Angel. He rolled to his feet pulling his axe free as he did so.

“Can you see him?”

Buffy was still scanning the landscape. “No but that doesn’t mean that he’s not around.” Buffy dumped her bag and took out a crossbow.

Gunn arched an eyebrow. “What else do you have in there, kitchen sink?”

She pursed her lips. “You’d be surprised. Come on.”

Gunn grabbed the bag once again and they headed off towards the woods. Just when he was beginning to question Buffy’s direction of choice he noticed a dark figure moving through the trees. The long grass snagged their legs as they moved towards the woods. Angel appeared before them suddenly as he was wont to do. Before they had time to question Angel he snapped, “This way! Hurry!”

Buffy noticed that Angel’s gait was just that little bit off as he sped off into the direction of the trees. Gunn hurried after her as she broke into a run. The tall vampire still had his sword strapped to his back so she figured the urgency was due to something else other than a demon threat.

“Is it Faith?” she called softly but he didn’t answer.

Angel led them past a couple of twisted trees, down a rocky gully and into a copse of trees. He stopped in the deepest shade and urged them to do so too.

“What is it?” Gunn hunkered down with the weapons out of breath. Buffy stood ready beside him her bow at the ready.

“A storm is coming.” Angel was peering through the leaves at the sky and moved into the bright day to get a better look.

“You can tell that how?” Gunn had realised that the twisted tree had leather like leaves. He stood to feel one as he waited for Angel to answer.

“I can feel it.”

“And better to be undercover than out in heaven’s knows what when it comes eh?” Buffy lowered her bow and she too reached out to feel the leaves.

Angel ducked back to the centre of the group of trees and examined the size of the trunks and branches. “We’ll have to shelter here, it’s our best bet.”

“What I wouldn’t give for being back at the cave right now.” Gunn moved the weapons over to the base of the tree and leaned against the trunk.

“Yeah and you could be having tea with its inhabitants.” Buffy snorted. She noticed a movement.

“Gunn. Step away from the tree.” Her bow came up.

Gunn sprang away from the trunk whirling about to find the danger. “What?”

“The tree is alive. Relax it won’t bite, just don’t lean on it.” Angel was under a long thick branch that enabled him to stand upright.

“You could have said that BEFORE I leaned.” Gunn complained as he sat further away facing the tree/creature. He would be keeping a careful eye on it.

“That explains the leather leaves huh?” Buffy moved to stand between Gunn and Angel. Before she could ask him how he knew about the tree there was a flash of light and a clap of thunder. There wasn’t a breath of wind.

“Isn’t it dangerous to be standing under a tree in a lightening storm?” Buffy shivered as the temperature began to drop.

A breeze sprang up and the storm began to flicker across the sky. A dull thud sounded nearby and then another and another.

“Here it comes!” Angel yelled as the thudding became a pounding and small blue pellets rained all around them. They huddled together successfully sheltered by the tree.

“It looks like hail.” Gunn reached out and snatched at the small icy ball that rolled near his feet. “It is hail except its blue. Fancy that.”

No one spoke for the next few minutes as thunder rolled across the landscape drowning out all other sound. As fast as it came, the storm passed. The air warmed and the hail began to melt.

“Yikes!” Gunn hastily dropped his melted ice and something slithered away. “What the hell was that?” He jumped to his feet wiping his hands on his trouser legs.

“It’s some sort of insect.” Buffy and the two men watched as thousands of insects crawled in the wet dirt around them.

Angel’s arm shot out and pulled Buffy nearer to him and leaned over to yank Gunn further into the gloom with them.

Buffy’s “Hey!” was cut short as the air came alive with winged creatures the size of birds. The screeches and the sound of leathery wings were harsh on their ears as the ‘birds’ dived to the ground searching for the crawling insects.

Angel glanced into the treetops above and saw that the foliage had thinned. The thousands of flying creatures made short work of their prey and soon began to thin out. The three warriors looked out over the woods as the ground and air cleared.

“Well, as life cycles go, it sucks. It’s a wonder the demonic birds didn’t get hailed out of the trees?” Buffy made a face and Gunn agreed with her when the two of them were pushed out into the open by Angel.

“Again I say Hey!”

Gunn whirled on the vampire who had Buffy’s bag with him as he left the shade of the tree. “Angel, you know the thing where people use their mouths to talk? Try….”

Angel pointed up and Gunn’s tirade faded away. The ‘birds’ were settling on the twisted branches of the trees, right above where their heads had been.

“Didn’t want to catch any deposits if you catch my drift.”

Buffy narrowed her eyes. Did Angel just make a joke, all be it a small one?

“So those leaves?”

“Yeah.”

“And we were right under that?” Gunn asked. Small skitter like things such as rats with whiskers gave Charles Gunn, the big man, the creeps. He shivered.

“No choice.”

“Okay. The sooner we find Faith the better we can leave this place.” Buffy brushed at her clothing and hair making sure that there ‘were’ no deposits.

“Second that!” Gunn hefted his axe and took a swipe at his clothes as they turned to follow the vampire with the innate connection to the dark slayer. “That cave is looking better all the time,” he grumbled.

Buffy swatted him sporting a large grin. “You’ll live.”

Angel led them deeper into the woods, the others pleased to note that the trees they passed under were not all leathery with reptilian creatures. Dotted here and there were normal looking trees with green and purple leaves. The land began to decline slightly and they realised they were following a long slow downward slope.

Angel liked it here so far. Cave demons aside or trolls or whatever, life was simpler. The open sky for one was a bonus, the countryside, no Senior Partners and no humans to complicate his un-life. Well apart from his travelling companions. He sighed. Who was he kidding? There is always a price to pay; this place hadn’t revealed it yet. He clutched the weapons bag in his left hand, his eyes scanning the terrain for trouble.

Buffy watched the dark figure in front scouting the area as they passed. She saw him sigh and wondered at that. He certainly wasn’t the most talkative person on the planet but he had seemed less weighed down by his troubles in this dimension. She monitored his gait and was happy to see that he was his usual graceful self. It must have been her imagination.

They had been walking an hour when they came across a shallow stream.

Buffy ran to kneel beside the water. She dipped her fingers in the cool liquid before tentatively raising the appendages to her mouth. She took a cautious lick as both men watched.

She made a grimace and Gunn nearly lunged for her thinking she had reacted to the water when she gave a wicked smirk.

“Funny girl!” Gunn grumbled and joined Buffy for a cool drink. Buffy giggled when she accidentally splashed water on his face.

Angel who had not been fooled because he knew the girl and had also noted that her body hadn’t reacted to any poison stalked around them keeping watch.

“Angel!”

He glanced her way.

“You want?”

He shook his head and went to circle some more.

Buffy reached out a hand. “Pass me the bag please?”

He passed the bag to her and paced away in the direction he knew that Faith was.

Buffy rifled through her bag and pulled out a couple of chocolate bars. She threw one to a surprised Gunn.

“See, Kitchen sink.” She settled back and peeled away the foil wrapping and took a large bite of the delicious confectionary. “Hmm. Yum.”

“Thanks Buffy. You think of everything.” Gunn bit into his and handed his wrapping over to Buffy who stuffed the rubbish back into her bag. They sat enjoying their treat.

“Sorry no blood.” Buffy called as Angel paced back. He paced away again.

They both watched him as they finished their snack. They tracked his silent movements their mood no longer light. Buffy sighed and looked at Gunn.

“Break’s over.” She dipped her fingers in the stream and washed the chocolate remains away.

Gunn did the same and they both caught up with the vampire as he led the way down stream. The day darkened even though the trees thinned as they walked on. They skirted the fringe of the wood keeping the cover that they did have.

Gunn could see the mountain range rising before them in the distance and hoped that Angel wasn’t going to suggest that they climb it. Buffy was having similar thoughts but kept them to herself as they slogged on. The sun was definitely setting as the gloom slowly turned to a darker shade of blue.

“I think we are going to have to camp for the night guys. It’s getting too dark to see.” Buffy quickly amended, “For some of us anyway.” She stopped.

Gunn stopped too but Angel took another step or two. “We’re close, I can feel it.”

“How close?” Gunn was willing to move on if necessary. He looked at Buffy but she was looking at Angel.

“Close as in five minutes or close as in another few hours? Angel we can’t help her if we can’t see her.”

Angel was going suggest that he go on ahead when the sky began to brighten. He took a few steps out of the trees to look skyward. The strange nightscape was starting to shine. He turned about to look for the source. Did this world have two suns?

Buffy and Gunn had ventured forth to investigate. “Look!” Buffy exclaimed pointing to the distant mountain.

“Man,” Gunn breathed. There were two moons arising. He felt as if the large one hanging above was going to crush him to the ground, it was huge. Behind, peeping out was its smaller sibling. They all stood in absolute amazement.

“It’s beautiful.” Buffy pulled her eyes away from the moons to gaze at the glow it bestowed on her favourite vampire. He looked so beautiful in moonlight that was so bright that it was near to day.

Angel wished he had his pencils to capture the moment. He couldn’t help but notice Buffy in the moonlight and she was breathtaking. The last time he had seen her in daylight was in L.A. all those years ago. He forced his eyes to move when he saw that she was looking at his.

Gunn broke the ice. “Does anyone feel as if that,” he gestured to the large moon, “is going to fall out of the sky?” One thing was for sure, since hooking up with Angel his life had become interesting again. He never thought that he would miss that life but here he was. He lowered his gaze to see Buffy’s smirk. Gunn felt a little foolish but her grin was infectious so he returned one of his own. He turned to the vampire but Angel was doing that thing he did when he was listening for something.

“What is it?” he asked before Angel disappeared.

“Here we go.” Buffy flashed another grin at him before she too took off after the vampire. Charles Gunn hefted his axe and was running after her, his long legs making up for the speed that the Slayer had.

They ran back through the trees and suddenly there was a worn track across their path. Gunn tracked Buffy who was tracking Angel down the path. The clash of weapons could be heard and then they were there. Buffy saw a dark shadow fly through the air and land amongst the group of demons that were attacking something or someone that she couldn’t see. Her legs pumped faster to catch up with Angel. She couldn’t let him have all the fun. She heard Charles’ panting as he tried to keep up.

Faith was backed against a stone wall that was intricately adorned with strange markings. Her lungs laboured as she fought with her ebbing strength to stay alive. Her leg and arm were oozing blood again as she parried the demons’ thrusts at her. She had managed to snare a spear early in the attack. They had thought she was easy prey and to their dismay found that she was not as she killed the first to approach her. Faith had left her knife in the demon’s belly and had snatched up its spear. She knew she wasn’t going to make it and she wondered if anyone would ever know that she had died.

“Come on you m……. f…….s! Come get me!” she screamed.

Something dark swooped down from the air and Faith gritted her teeth. This was it. Her eyes went wide when the head of one of the horned demons flew from its body and a pair of black clad legs landed on the ground next to the fallen torso.

“You speak to your mother with that mouth?” a familiar voice asked.

“Angel?” She straightened and blinked at the apparition who surely could not be here. There was a flash of steel that found its mark and a spinning kick which brought that familiar face around to her then all she saw was the back of his head.

“Is it really you?” Her legs threatened to give out but she lunged at a foe that was trying to blindside her. It danced back.

“Yeah. I hope you don’t mind but I brought some company?” He spun away from her and she could see a blonde head ducking and weaving, the flash of a bloody axe or two. The dark shiny head of another human towered over Buffy and she thought she recognised it.

“Faith?” she heard her sister slayer call.

“B?” Was she already dead? How was this possible?

The demons that were so intent on her capture were now fighting for their own lives. They refocused their energies on the newcomers and left her alone. Faith sank to the earth exhausted her spear still at the ready. She watched the others wishing she could help but knowing that they were going to bring a world of hurt to the remaining demons.

She particularly paid attention to her favourite demon, Angel. He was a killing machine, he moved into the fight without consideration to his own safety. His sword bit through demon flesh and bone, limbs and heads flew as howls of pain and anguish followed. The vampire was a blur as he ducked and weaved, leaped and kicked his sword a lethal sliver of silver as it brought death to all around. Faith could see Buffy and Gunn through the thinning throng. It was Gunn right? They were making short work of their foe as they worked their way towards her felling any who tried escape.

Buffy knew that Angel was in killing mode and it frightened her a little. She thought of the alley and the bar back in Los Angeles and how he had seemed so detached when he killed. For a moment when she had heard his brief exchange of words with Faith her heart had lifted. That was the Angel she knew and loved. Then he had not uttered another word and had joined with the enemy in battle. Buffy spared Charles a glance, happy to see him capable and able and gutted a demon that thought she was too little to be taken seriously as it sliced a gash across her face. Hey!

She heard Faith call her name. “Thought you could hog all the fun?” She was gratified to hear Faith’s reply.

“Well you know me B. Not one for standing around when there’s a party.” Buffy grinned as she parried a sword and Gunn stabbed the thing in the ribs. It fell choking on its own blood.

He laughed at her his own face bloody. It felt good to be in the fray once more. He stopped when they both realised that there were no more demons to slay other than the two that Angel seemed to be playing with. They didn’t stand a chance and Gunn and Buffy watched as the vampire despatched them with ease all the time displaying no emotion.

Buffy ran to Faith as she finally lay her weapon down. Gunn followed and was joined by Angel.

“Party’s over,” Buffy stated as she crouched beside the wounded slayer. Her nimble fingers ran over the makeshift bandages and came away bloody. She glanced up at the two men hovering, frowned and looked back at Faith.

“How did you find me?” Faith gazed into her eyes and then flicked over to Angel and the other human. “Gunn?”

“Faith.”

“Long story but it was Angel who found you.” Buffy found it hard to admit but it was the truth. Angel had once again saved Faith and it wasn’t as bitter a pill as it was once upon a time.

Faith looked up at the vampire. “Hey and thanks.”

Buffy looked at him closely and saw that he was covered in demon blood. “None of that is yours right?”

“How are you doing?” he asked Faith ignoring Buffy’s concern. He could see and smell the blood on all three humans and he was hungry. He tamped down on his bloodlust with disgust.

“It smarts but I’ll live.” She wrinkled her nose at her bloody wounds. “Way to go guys. What an entrance!” Her smile was as wide as they had ever seen on her.

Gunn agreed with her. “It was cool wasn’t it? And I must admit that beating on some demons was exhilarating.”

He saw the others looking at him. “What? A brother can’t get his mean on and enjoy it these days?”

“I’m right with you Gunn.” Faith’s eyes were twinkling.

Angel straightened and moved away to scrutinise the corpses. He still felt the bloodlust surging through his lifeless veins, the light of battle raged behind his eyes and he needed to bury it with all his other emotions, so he took on this grisly task to divert his energies. He knew they needed to get Faith home but he was intrigued with the demon population here. His boot nudged a body and he rolled it over. He listened to the conversation behind him as he wiped his blade on the leather clad body. He stalked through the carnage until he found his knife protruding from an inert form on the ground. That got wiped before he inserted it back into his boot. He didn’t bother about his now missing stakes.

“What were they after you for?” Buffy wanted to know as she readjusted the bandages.

“Human I guess.” Faith shrugged her shoulders but winced at the movement. “There’s a fort or castle of sorts down below. I came through not far from there, ran into a patrol and they have been hunting me ever since. You wouldn’t have anything to eat on you? I’m starved.”

“Sure.” Buffy patted Faith’s hand as she got to her feet. “I’ll go get my bag.” She wandered off axe in hand to retrieve her weapons bag that she had flung down in her bid to get into battle.

Gunn was pleased to see Faith alive and was again reminded of the slayer’s strength and resilience. Both slayers were remarkable women. “Good to see you again Faith, although it seems to be under bloody circumstances every time.”

“Yeah, well, comes with the territory but I’m glad to see you too.”

Faith was watching Angel search through the carnage. “Hey big guy! How did you find me?”

Angel looked back at her and then turned away.

“What’s his problem?” she asked Charles Gunn.

Gunn hunkered down beside her glad to get off his feet. “Blood link,” he whispered hoping Angel wouldn’t hear. He added, “Also that Orpheus thing you two did way back when.”

“What?” Faith looked at Gunn. “How?”

“Buffy went to L.A to find Angel the same time you were sucked into that portal. Angel went to a demon of The Lost and found a way to trace your whereabouts. We went to England, Willow did the mojo and here we are. Easy.”

Buffy was making her way back to them bag in hand.

“Easy, yeah I believe you. Hey Angel!”

He glanced around at Faith.

“Thankyou for whatever you did and never mind the mind walk. We’re cool.” He ducked his head and turned away.

“That’s my boy,” Faith added proudly her eyes shining with unshed tears. Angel came through for her again. It was beginning to be a habit for the both of them.

Buffy saw her brush at her eyes as she arrived with a bar of chocolate in hand and had heard her last three words. Faith never showed weakness to anyone and she was surprised that she did now.

“Ooh! Chocolate. Thanks B you’re key.” Faith had the wrapper off in a second and bit off a huge mouthful in an unladylike manner.

“You’re welcome. Sorry Gunn, last one.”

“It’s cool.” He smirked at the dark haired slayer as she stuffed the rest of the chocolate bar into her mouth.

Buffy turned to find that Angel was behind her. “I think it’s time to go. There may be others arriving soon.” He thought he heard a cry of an airborne demon in the distance but he didn’t want to alarm the others.

“You want that I try my incantation first?”

He nodded and Buffy pulled out the crumpled piece of paper. “Crap! It’s in Latin.”

“Here.” Angel reached for the paper and read off the words. They waited and nothing happened. He listened again to the night.

“Are you pronouncing it right?” Buffy asked.

“I had to speak Latin as a child in church Buffy,” he said indignant.

He recited the words again but as before nothing happened.

Faith raised her good hand. “Is this a rescue or what?”

Angel pushed the useless piece of paper into a pocket and withdrew the one he had asked Giles to copy.

“Let’s hope this works.” His gaze rested on all three before he studied the paper. He visualised the scene in the library and recalled the demon incantation.

Giles had written the demon language and its phonetic sounds underneath and Angel gave a silent thanks to the absent Watcher. He sounded out the inhuman words and the air began to shiver and swirl.

“Okay! That works. Let’s get outta here.” Buffy urged.

A scream overhead alerted the others to impending danger. Gunn scrambled to his feet and went to help Faith regain hers.

“What the Hell is that?” he asked.

Buffy peered up and instinctively ducked as a huge shadow rushed at them from nowhere.

“It looks like a …….” She wanted to say dragon.

Angel said it. “Looks like this dragon is yours Gunn.”

“Yeah, well I think I’ll pass. Can we go?”

Angel passed his sword over to Buffy and grabbed hold of Faith and swung her easily into his arms. The portal formed with a flash of light and Buffy yelled at Gunn to move. He did disappearing first and Buffy went through after guarding Faith and Angel’s departure. The portal closed on huge snapping jaws.

They stepped through and found themselves once again in countryside and fortunately for the vampire, it was night. Disorientated they looked about for a familiar landmark but were unable to see anything.

“Where are we?” Faith asked from Angel’s arms.

“Lucky for you it’s night,” Gunn added turning about.

“Are the stars familiar?” Buffy asked looking at the night sky. “We are on Earth aren’t we?”

Angel noticed a stone wall further along and walked away towards it. “This way.”

This had to be the English country side. The English countryside was parcelled off by ancient stone walls at least that were how Angel remembered it. He looked at the stars trying to ascertain their whereabouts but it had been a long time since he had navigated by the heavens. He was too tired to make the effort.

The field ended at the wall and on the other side was a sealed road. “Looks like Earth, feels like Earth.” Gunn climbed the wall and held his arms out for the wounded slayer. Buffy climbed over as Angel handed Faith over and he joined the others on the road. She was glad that the slayer was out of Angel’s arms and into another’s. She would never admit to it and she knew that she was being petty but her heart wouldn’t listen to her head.

“Did I tell you that you remind me of someone?” Faith’s face was a dark shadow looking up from Gunn’s chest.

“No you haven’t.” He peered down at her. “Who is it?”

Angel strode off down the road muttering a “stay here.”

“Some guy I knew.” She paused. “His name was Robin.”

Buffy inched away down the road giving the two some privacy. She gestured in the direction the vampire had gone and Gunn settled Faith against the wall propping her up with his arm around her.

“So was he as good looking?” he teased.

“Way better,” she said sadly. “No just kidding.” She weakly punched his arm and Gunn still felt as if his arm would carry a bruise in the morning.

“Where is he?”

She chose to ignore that. “His mother was a Slayer, can you believe that?”

“Really? What happened to her?”

“A vamp killed her when he was four years old. Her watcher took care of him. He became a demon hunter and a High School Principal.” She gave a half hearted laugh.

“What?”

“I met him in the Dale when Buffy was fighting The First.”

Gunn couldn’t get his head around school principal and demon hunter.

“Did you…?”

“Yeah. We did the deed, we were good at it. It was fun.”

Gunn heard the sadness in her voice. “Something happened.”

“Doesn’t it always? He got hurt bad, not the first time but this time there was permanent damage. He wanted to settle down have some ankle biters you know? I couldn’t handle that. I tried but-”

“You’re a slayer.”

“An excuse now that there are hundreds but it’s all I know.” The self loathing was evident.

“It’s who you are.”

“Angel would say that I was more than that. He believes in me.”

“But you don’t.”

“I try.”

There was silence. Gunn looked at her bent head and tightened his hold and pulled her into his body. They sat like that until Gunn heard footsteps approaching out of the dark.

“Angel? Buffy?” he called softly.

“It’s us.” Buffy called back. “We’re on Smythe’s road according to the sign. At least it’s England.”

“Buffy doesn’t recognise the name so we will have to walk until we find a house or a town.” Angel said as they stopped before the two resting against the wall.

“And soon because of the bursting into flames factor when the sun comes up.” Buffy added with concern.

“Did anyone bring a cell?” Gunn asked with mock innocence knowing that the vampire never thought to use his mobile phone but that Buffy should have.

“Duh!” Buffy felt around in her jacket and produced one. “Sorry.” Her teeth flashed in a sheepish smile as she hit fast dial.

“It’s ringing.” She waited and a familiar British voice answered.

“Rupert Giles.”

“Giles! It’s Buffy.”

“Buffy? Good God! Where are you? It’s been days!”

She heard him repeat her name to someone who squealed in the background. Willow she thought.

“Days?” She frowned. “Never mind. We’re on Smythe’s road and please tell us that it is close to home and that you can come to pick us up?”

“Smythe? Buffy that’s thirty minutes away. I can do that.”

“Great just hurry up will you cause the sun?”

“Buffy!” Giles called as she lifted the phone away from her ear.

“What?”

“Is everyone all right? Did you manage to locate Faith?”

“We’re all here Giles but hurry. Faith needs medical attention and need I repeat the sun?” She rang off.

“Buffy, dawn is a few hours away.”

Buffy squinted at Angel’s dark form. “You do remember how slow Giles drives? It could take him all night.”

Angel did remember Giles’ driving; in fact he remembered everything about Giles, from killing his girl friend to torturing him. Angel knew that he shouldn’t hold a grudge; he couldn’t as the man had overcome his own hatred to allow Angel a fleeting renewal membership of the Scooby gang once upon a time. Every time he thought of Fred and the callous manner in which Giles had refused to listen, to offer help in the form of Willow made him forget his own appalling actions as the grief for the southern girl surfaced anew. He was pathetic he knew. He had done so much more as Angelus and as Angel that he had no right to righteous anger.

Buffy and Charles Gunn recognised the brooding silence that had descended like a cloud around Angel so they busied themselves with getting comfortable.

Buffy sat up on the wall her legs dangling by Faith. “How are you doing?” She had a clearer view of the road from here even though her eyes were not those of a vampire’s.

“Five by five B. A shower and a bed are looking mighty fine right now.” She relaxed further into Gunn’s embrace.

“Just rest and Giles will be here soon.” Buffy assured her.

“I hope you don’t mind blood on your clothes,” Faith murmured sleepily.

“I think these are ruined any how, so forget about it.” Gunn smoothed Faith’s long dark hair.

“She is going to be all right isn’t she?” Gunn asked quietly after a long moment.

“Slayer healing,” Buffy whispered over the sleeping slayer.

Gunn remembered Faith being at death’s door after a duel to the death with Angelus and she had rallied. He looked at the quiet vampire his spirits raised. Faith was going to be fine.

Buffy wished that Angel would come and sit beside her, be close to her like Gunn and Faith were doing even though they hardly knew each other. To feel Angel’s cool arms around her was something she was dreaming of again. It had been a long time since she had allowed herself that dream but now she was desperate for it. Once again she wondered if she had thrown it away never to have it back.

“Come sit,” she offered softly.

To her surprise he did. In one graceful motion he was atop the wall sitting a few feet away. She swallowed disappointment. They sat without further words. Gunn followed Faith into sleep his body propped against hers, his head resting on her head. Buffy sighed wearily and wished for a soft bed. Her head drooped and she dropped away into dreamland finding a comfortable soft landing at the bottom.

Angel caught Buffy carefully as she slid into sleep and nearly off the wall. He gently rested her against his side wrapping an arm around her waist. He inhaled the smell of Buffy trying to exclude the intoxicating smell of her blood that smudged her face. So he sat with his love, his thoughts and one careful eye on Gunn and Faith. His heart was melting again and he was terrified that if he let her back inside, it would be only to end in tragedy, for her.

Buffy roused from sleep dreaming of strong arms and a silent chest to see headlights and hear the rumble of a car. She jerked upright to see Angel standing in the middle of the road, a dark figure illuminated by the bright lights. The other two sleeping beauties awoke as she slid to the ground.

“It’s Giles!” She could now see the large shape of his Range Rover as he pulled to a stop.

Angel walked back to Gunn and Faith as the passenger door flew open and Willow’s voice could be heard.

“Buffy! Oh am I so glad to see you.” Buffy was enveloped in a hug from the witch.

Giles joined her and greeted his slayer.

Angel reached for Faith as Gunn carefully disengaged from the young woman. “How are you doing?”

“Gosh, with two handsome men taking turns in holding me? Fine!” Angel swung her easily into his arms; Gunn grabbed hold of their weapons and bag and followed Angel to their ride.

“Faith! Good to see you. Let’s get you settled shall we?” Giles opened the rear door so that Angel could deposit the wounded girl inside.

Willow was more welcoming. “Angel, Charles. Welcome back. I knew that you guys would make it.” She leaned into the back door. “Hi Faith. You had us worried for a while.”

Faith smiled back at the redhead. “Thanks Willow.”

Angel sat on the outside of the rear seat looking out the window with Gunn beside Faith in the middle. Buffy squashed in beside Willow in the front seat with Giles on the way back.

Buffy asked Giles about something he had said. “You said that we had been gone days. How many days?”

“Five days Buffy and I have to tell you we were getting very worried. We debated about sending Kennedy and Jill in after you but we didn’t know if we would be sending them to their deaths you see. So we waited hoping against hope that you had survived and come back to us.”

“Xander was beside himself. He wanted to open the portal and jump right in after you but we couldn’t. And luckily we didn’t ring Dawn because we didn’t know what we were going to tell her and I’m babbling again aren’t I?” Willow shifted uncomfortably in the seat she shared with her best friend.

Buffy squirmed glad that they were both of slim build as the end of the seat was giving her backside hell. “Never mind that Will, I’m just glad to be here to hear it. Five days eh?”

The three in the back were silent as they listened.

“We were gone for less than a day or I think it was less than a day. The day did turn into night while we were there.” She turned to Faith in the back. “How long were you there for?”

Faith thought for a moment. “A few hours.” She shrugged and winced when her shoulder protested. “Six maybe seven.”

Angel had already worked it out before Giles spoke from the wheel. “So time worked in reverse in that dimension. A few hours in that dimension were a couple days in ours. It gave Buffy and Angel and Gunn time to come to the U.K, gave Xander and Kennedy time to find The Eye of Akron and stage a rescue. I must say I am pleased Faith that you hadn’t suffered longer there. Fascinating.”

Angel thought of Quor Toth and didn’t know if he could wish that Connor had found a slower time difference because then he would still be a small boy and still lost to him.

“Enough of the long words Giles,” Buffy admonished. “We’re back. Safe and sound or will be if this thing can go any faster.”

“We’ve plenty of time.” The vehicle increased its speed as the Watcher put his foot down on the gas to please Buffy.

The accent and the turn of phrase reminded both men in the back of another watcher who was no longer with them.

Gunn glanced sideways at Angel but the vampire was brooding at the dark countryside. Gunn missed Wesley even though they had fallen out over Fred. In fact he missed them all, Angel included, maybe Angel most of all. He did good work back in L.A. Kept his head down, helped his old neighbourhood by hooking up with his old crew and most importantly he used his law knowledge to help those that had no hope of ever retaining a good lawyer. He knew he was making a difference but with Angel it was world in peril stuff. And he missed that most of all. Not the pain and the hurt but the knowledge that maybe the world turned another day because of something he did. Even though on that fateful day he had told Anne that nothing they do matters he couldn’t believe that. He caught himself and chuckled. He was turning into Angel, brooding in the night.

Angel heard Gunn’s soft laugh and wondered at it. He sensed it when Faith succumbed to sleep as they passed through a small village that was on the way to the Watcher’s home. Giles steered the car through the night his passengers were quiet. He wanted to ask much more but knew that Buffy and the others needed to recoup and Faith needed medical attention not to mention food and rest. Buffy rested her head against Willow’s shoulder and wished for her bed. Willow kept her questions to herself there would be time later for those. For now she enjoyed the feel of having her friends safe and sound for she counted Angel and Gunn in that number.

The half hour saw them arrive at the house and Kennedy and Xander were waiting at the door. Xander rushed over to hug Buffy as she climbed out of the car with Willow saying he as glad that she was okay. Angel and Gunn helped Faith indoors and were directed to a bedroom that turned out to be Buffy’s. Dawn’s bed was the only spare so she was placed there. One of the new slayers, Jill had been awakened as she had been a nurse before being called. Now she was a nurse that was a slayer that also nursed the wounds of slayers. The men were shooed out of the room as the girls started to strip away Faith’s tattered clothes.

Faith gave a wicked grin at Gunn and Angel’s departure. “Just when it was getting interesting,” she called.

Angel’s lips lifted in a small tired smile before he disappeared off to his quarters. He heard Giles offer Gunn tea and food and Gunn who was starving accepted. He didn’t see Buffy open her door to look after him as he closed his own.

His bag had been moved to the floor as he stripped off his coat. The coat went over the back of a chair; he would check it over later to see if it was salvageable. His sweater when it came off was not. The wounds on his body were almost healed he thought it was a pity that his clothing didn’t have the same ability. He would have to replace them sometime soon. He grabbed his toiletries, clean shorts and the towel on his bed and headed for a hot shower.

Buffy found Giles and Gunn sipping tea and eating ham sandwiches. She grabbed a china cup and saucer and filled it with black tea without a word. Giles pushed the milk and sugar her way.

“I’ll be back in a minute,” she said as she exited the kitchen with tea in hand.

Gunn looked at Giles thinking what they were both thinking; Angel.

She knocked and entered to see the room empty. Buffy could hear the shower and was tempted to peek in but knew that would not be appreciated. Still it had been a long time since she had seen a naked Angel and her feet had taken two steps before she stopped herself. Instead she left the tea on the desk and quietly closed the door.

Angel towelled his hair as he entered the bedroom clad only in his boxers pleased to see he still had his privacy. He noticed the tea steaming on the desk and was grateful for it. He drank it standing at the window savouring its warmth and wondered whom he had to thank for it. Placing the empty cup back in its saucer he pulled the heavy drapes across the window and made his way to his bed. He was hungry but wasn’t about to go asking for blood. He faced the wall and pulled up the covers and was asleep before he had another thought.

Buffy re entered the kitchen and helped her self to a cup of tea and grabbed a cookie off the plate in front of the men. The men had been silent throughout their meal, Gunn was still bitter at the Englishman over the whole Fred tragedy but immensely grateful for the hospitality and help which made him a little uncomfortable in where he stood. After all he himself had played a larger part in Fred’s death.

Giles let the American eat in silence pushing down the impatience of wanting to know all about their adventures in the other dimension. He was glad to have Buffy join them, now perhaps he would have some answers. He pushed out a chair with his foot.

Gunn swallowed his last bite. “Angel?”

“In the shower.” She heaped several spoonfuls of sugar into her tea and drowned it in milk as she sat. The cookie or biscuit as the natives called it was dunked in the same concoction and made it to her mouth. She was hungry but dead on her feet and her bed was calling for her.

The scrape of a chair roused her from her stupor as Gunn left the room. She blinked wearily and focused on the half eaten cookie. How long had she been sitting here? Giles sighed it looked as if his questions would have to wait. He had watched Buffy for a few quiet minutes as she half heartedly ate her soggy biscuit and had drifted towards sleep.

“I think you should be off to bed. We’ll talk later in the day.” He looked at his watch it was near to three a.m.

“Come on.” He gently tugged on Buffy’s arm and led her to her room.

Xander was hovering outside the door. He took in the tiredness that was Buffy. “Willow and Jill said that Faith will be fine. She’s sleeping right now so I guess it’s time that you were as well. Me thinks tales of rescue will have to wait.”

“Thanks Xander,” she mumbled as she stepped past him and into the darkened room.

“Night Buffy.” That was Giles as she closed the door.

When Gunn woke it was well into the afternoon although the lack of light in the room was no indication. He checked his watch and rolled over to look at the other bed. He could barely make out the prone form of the vampire so he quietly slipped out of bed and into the bathroom. He tiptoed about washing up and dressing. Angel hadn’t heard a thing the morning before when Gunn returned to their room. The vampire had been asleep and Gunn was grateful for that. He had wondered about trying to sleep with a vampire across the room listening to his every heart beat. He trusted Angel; it was just weird is all. He crept across to the door glancing at Angel as he let himself out. It was unnerving how still he was, how there were no signs of life as he slept. Gunn could have been alone in the room.

Angel heard Gunn creep about the room, how could he not? He drifted away after the man left the room. It was too early for him to rise as he was trapped here until nightfall so he decided more sleep was in order. When he surfaced again it was evening. He noticed his wounds had healed as he slept. Pulling on his last remaining sweater and black pants, running his fingers through his hair Angel was ready to face the evening. He carefully made the beds, tidied the room, opened the drapes and window and left to find the kitchen. Thankfully it was deserted as he crossed to the refrigerator and opened the door. He found a container of blood inside and unless there was another vampire about they were feeding helped himself. It was a little stale but he drank it anyway forgoing the heating process. He left the container washed and rinsed on the stainless steel sink and made his way to the library.

Buffy was the first to spot him lurking by the door. “Angel. Good morning, come in.”

He stepped inside to see that Faith was slouched on the couch and everyone had gathered around.

“Hey big guy,” she greeted with a smile.

“How are you doing?” He took up his usual position against the wall.

Faith lifted her arm and waggled her foot. “Pretty good. Thanks to you guys and Jill and Willow and food. Will be out slaying in no time.”

“How are you doing?” Buffy asked from her seat beside Faith.

“Fine.” Angel scrutinized the rest of the group; he didn’t want to let his eyes linger on Buffy. He let his eyes rest on Gunn.

“We’ve been filling the others in on our little trip to Never Never Land. Emphasis on the Never to go there again.”

“It’s apparent that they haven’t run into humans before and we aim to keep it that way.” Giles looked up from the notes he had been taking.

“Then how did the key to the portal get into that book?” Xander gestured to the piles of books on the Watcher’s desk.

“Yeah Giles! How is that?” Buffy was once again surprised at Xander’s quick mind. He had a tendency to spot the most unlikely things.

Andrew piped up. “Now little blonde slayer person. The Watcher’s Council…”

“Shut up Andrew!” the others complained.

“The writings in these books are usually of demonic origin. So it’s highly probable that no human has ever ventured there.”

“Okay Giles, let’s just keep it that way shall we?” Buffy ordered. She eyed Angel from the corner of her eye. He seemed to be none the worse for wear. She had been hoping that he would rise and join them earlier but when he didn’t show she was sure that he had been reluctant and kept to his room. He had missed the snacking on afternoon tea in the kitchen but then she figured that Angel’s idea of snacking was of the O Pos kind.

“So Angel. What are you going to do now? I mean are you going back to the States or are you going to stay in Europe?” Willow asked from her place on the floor next to Kennedy.

Buffy glared at Willow and opened her mouth when Andrew opened his.

“What’s the Scourge of Europe going to see that he hasn’t seen before?”

Buffy went cold and she stole a glance at Angel. His eyes had narrowed and without changing into game face seemed more like the demon he was than the human shell he wore. Andrew was treading a fine line.

“Stone calling the kettle Andrew!” Buffy rose to her ex lover’s defence. She got to her feet and crossed her arms. “Seems to me someone forgot about the people he killed and tried to kill and tried to brainwash. And all with a soul too.”

“That’s all in the past,” he whined. “I helped saved the world and I’m a Watcher now and I’m good.”

This was news to Angel and Gunn. This was the weasel that had told Angel that they didn’t trust him any more. The same guy who preached Watcher Lore was a killer. Angelus was a monster; tens of thousands had died at his hands as a soulless demon. Andrew, a human with a soul and he was a killer. Angel sank back against the wall his face a blank mask. He had Andrew’s number now. He dismissed him from his mind.

Faith however did not. “Did you go to prison?” She had met Andrew after he had been released as a hostage back in Sunnydale. She knew that the kid had been involved in something nasty but hadn’t been that interested in his history. Suddenly she was.

“No.” He squirmed in his seat not looking at her. He mumbled something.

“What?” Faith asked.

Angel heard it and growled. The boy looked up in fear his face ashen.

“What did he say?” Everyone was looking at him.

“Nothing that shall be repeated.” His look promised major damage to the boy and the boy nodded.

“Sorry.” He mumbled.

Faith struggled to get to her feet but Buffy pushed her back and sat with her. “Hey! I want to know!”

“It wasn’t about you.” Angel leaned back against the wall.

Willow sat forward and went to get to her feet. The blood rushed to her head suddenly as she realised that Andrew’s comment had been about her. A strong hand gently caught her shoulder and squeezed. The hand pulled her back until she rested against her lover’s chest. She glared at the watcher wannabe from Kennedy’s arms.

“Yeah? If you say so but I don’t mind Angel, I know who my friends are.” Faith slouched even lower stretching her legs out.

There was knocking down the end of the hall and a doorbell chimed several times. Andrew practically leaped from his seat and dashed for the door. He gave Angel a wide berth and sped off down the hall.

“I’ll get it,” floated back as he disappeared.

Xander took the moment to ask about Cordelia. “What happened to Cordy?”

Gunn looked at Angel as the vampire looked back at Harris. Something caught Angel’s attention; Gunn could see that tilt of the vampire’s head.

“She’s dead,” Gunn answered for him.

Xander jumped to his feet. “How? When? Why?” Cordelia held a special piece of him and the news of her death was another blow to his heart. There was Anya and now Cordelia was dead. The anger began to build as he realised that they had never considered telling them the news.

He pointed a finger at Dead Boy. “And how come we’re only hearing about this now?”

Buffy went over to Xander, trying to diffuse the situation and dragged him into a hug. “Angel told me in L.A, I should have told you. I’m sorry.”

Xander allowed the hug. He blinked back the tears and let Buffy go.

“How?” his voice cracked.

Angel had straightened from the wall and was looking towards the door.

“Could you look at me and tell me how?” Xander had to stop his voice from sounding shrill.

The other’s looked on uncomfortably. Angel turned his head and they could see his eyes were black.

“An evil Power That Was invaded her body when she was on a Higher Plain, ate her up, put the world in darkness, killed hundreds of people, tried to enslave the world and Cordy ended up in a coma, brain dead. She died a year later.”

Everybody flinched at the deadness of his voice, the emotionless rendition of Cordelia’s fate. Angel turned away towards the door again.

Gunn sighed. He had been there seen the damage.

Harris’s shoulders slumped. “You didn’t think to call?”

A commotion in the doorway forestalled any reply.

Andrew burst into the room beaming. “Look who’s here, Spike and some demon chick!”

He stepped aside and the bleached vampire made his entrance. Angel could see Illyria standing behind him from his vantage point and he edged back along the wall. She acknowledged him with a nod and he returned the favour.

Dressed in his habitual black leather the blonde vampire strode into the room and adopted a pose. Illyria entered behind him and all eyes were drawn to her in her red leather.

Giles stood as did the rest of the room.

“Well, well, well. The Scoobies and, “he turned to the other vampire, “Angel.” His head swivelled back and he caught sight of Gunn.

“Charlie boy, still following the old boy around. How’s the gut by the way?”

“I’m good Spike thanks. Didn’t expect to see you this side of the Atlantic.” Gunn eyed the pair but his eyes were drawn to Illyria. It hurt his heart to see the thing that had been Fred. Dear sweet Fred the girl that he loved and still mourned for.

“And who is this?” Giles indicated Illyria.

Willow stepped forward. “Fred? Is that you? I thought that Charles had said that they had lost..?” She broke off a frown on her face.

Angel was watching Buffy watching Spike. She chewed her lip nervously and was waiting for Spike to acknowledge her.

Illyria declared herself. “You address the shell in familiarity. I sense the magic that surrounds you. It is child’s play to the power that I am. Your magicks are no threat to me.”

Spike was now devouring Buffy with his eyes. “This is Illyria folks, a million year old demon God King.”

“But I don’t understand?” Willow looked at Angel. “What happened to Fred?”

Buffy took a step forward and Spike closed the distance.

“Illyria infected Fred’s body and it killed her. Illyria now walks in her body.” Gunn answered Willow. His heart clenched with grief but he couldn’t hold it against the demon king anymore. Illyria had stood against the Wolf, The Ram and The Hart with them. Without her they no doubt would be dead. It didn’t stop him from missing the slight southern girl.

“Buffy.”

“Spike.”

Angel couldn’t stand to see anymore. “We rang Giles to ask for your help Willow in saving Fred’s soul. You were unavailable.” He left the room.

Willow whipped around to the Watcher. “Why wasn’t I told?”

Giles pinched his glasses off his nose and pulled out a handkerchief and began to polish. It was a nervous habit of his.

Gunn pushed by. “We were in charge of Wolfram and Hart. You didn’t trust us.” He too left the room.

“Are you like evil?” Andrew asked.

Illyria’s blue eyes surveyed the room. “Are you the vampire’s new minions?”

“Which vampire? Forget I asked because we are no body’s minions.” Xander sat. Once again the world was spinning out of control. He was still reeling from the fact that Cordelia was dead and she had been an ultimate evil and killed people. Now there was a God King in the house? And let’s not forget Spike the vampire he hated more than Angel.

“Your leader has left his kingdom unattended. It is now that I observe his presence.”

“Spike. You came back, from the Hellmouth. You were burning and now you are back.” Buffy reached out and touched his sleeve. She raised her hand and slapped his face.

“Hey what was that for?” Spike rubbed at the sting.

“You didn’t think to call or write?”

“Bit hard when you return as a ghost luv.”

“And when you weren’t?”

“We came to Rome to see you. It didn’t look as if you were missing me.” He retorted.

Willow was standing over the now seated Watcher. “Angel called for MY help and you didn’t let me know?”

“Willow. He was in charge of Wolfram and Hart. The place is evil.” The excuse sounded lame now.

“And Angel is not. Did you think that maybe he was trying to change that? Did in fact change that as now it is in ruins.” Willow looked at the thing that was Illyria.

“Fred was the sweetest girl.” She looked back at Giles. “And now she is dead and you had a part to play in that.”

Willow crossed the room to sit next to Kennedy leaving Giles to reflect on her words.

“Was Fred someone you loved?” the dark haired slayer asked her.

“No but she was someone sweet and pure. I did care for her.” She clasped Kennedy’s hand grateful for her support.

The Watcher did feel a rush of guilt but the watcher in him was also fascinated by the creature before him. He reached for his books trying to determine its origins. Fred was just a name to him although he was sorry now for not listening to Angel at the time.

Faith in the meantime sat back to enjoy the drama. For once it wasn’t about her. She kept a careful eye on the thing that had once been Winifred Burkle but she needn’t have worried. The demon just stood statue like observing them all. They could have been bugs on a microscope for all the emotion she displayed. Buffy and Spike now that was another matter she thought.

“So you turn up out of the- what? Depths of Hell and expect me to be there?”

“No. Peaches was most upset by the way- you know what with you and the Immortal having a thing.”

Buffy blushed at the reminder and stepped away from him. “Andrew told me. Anyway it’s ancient history. I’m glad that you are okay.” She already knew that Angel had been upset with the whole Immortal deal and hoped that he still felt that way about her, the whole caring about her deal.

“I gotta tell you Buffy it’s been a hell of a ride.” He glanced at the others and pulled her to one side. “About the whole burning up thing...”

Buffy put her finger to his lips. “I really appreciate what you did Spike, we all did. If it hadn’t been for you I think we would have been dead.”

Spike was mesmerized by the large hazel eyes looking up at his. He still loved this girl. He was surprised and pleased when she went tip toe and kissed him on the cheek.

“Thank you.”

He frowned. “But...”

“I know I told you I loved you and I do just not in that way.” Her eyes begged forgiveness.

“So have you told him yet?”

Buffy knew to whom Spike was referring. “He’s not listening. I think I’ve lost him.”

“Bollocks! Talk about pig headed, brooding Irishman.” Spike was hurt but he wasn’t about to let Buffy know that. In his heart of hearts he knew that she didn’t love him. They had a bond, finally at the end but it wasn’t a passion that she returned. It was a friend’s love she felt even when his was of the romantic kind. He didn’t want her to be hurting and it galled him to think that it was on Angel’s behalf.

Andrew interrupted by insinuating himself between them breaking the mood. “Are you here to stay? Because you can stay in my room, just don’t bring the blue girl okay?”

Spike gave the boy the once over. “What happened to Mr Sophisticate and his harem?” He inspected the faded jeans and T shirt. “Reverted back to type?”

“Spike, my hero, we make a good team you and I. We saved the world together we could do it again. Please stay.”

“Yes Spike.” That was Giles from the desk. “Why are you here?”

“Blue and I have been doing a bit of travelling, taking in the sights, showing her the world. Was in the neighbourhood, thought we’d look you up. Didn’t know that Angel and Charlie boy were going to be here.” He seemed to notice Faith for the first time.

“Faith. I didn’t think that you would be staying around with this lot. How have you been?”

“I’ve been better.” She waggled her arm showing off the bandages. “Heard you were toast.”

“I got better. Ended up with the old man at Wolfram and Hart.”

“I didn’t think you and Angel got on?” Xander asked.

“We don’t or didn’t.” Spike gave a smirk. “I made his life a living Hell for a while though.” His smirk dropped when Buffy glared at him. He added hastily, “although with my help and the others he took out Wolfram and Hart.”

She glanced about aware for the first time that the vampire in question was nowhere to be seen. “Excuse me.”

Spike watched her go. “Always running after the poof,” he complained.

Angel stood under a tree in the garden. He didn’t want to hear the conversation between Spike and Buffy. If he stayed indoors he would have so outside he was. A piece of him screamed “get Buffy away from Spike she’s mine!” another whispered, “she’s not yours let her go,” and the last piece intoned, “Hearts get in the way.”

“Angel?”

He turned to see Gunn step down from the house. “Here.”

Gunn ventured off the path and made his way towards the tree. The lights from within illuminated the garden somewhat but still in his dark clothing Angel was hard to see.

He stopped just short of the tree and looked up at the sky. There was a sliver of moon peeking out from behind dark clouds and there was just a smattering of stars shining through the nebulous sky. Charles Gunn took a large breath.

“You know a city boy like me rarely sees the countryside. I didn’t even know there were mountains until we set up office at Wolfram and Hart.”

Angel remained silent.

“It’s nice, quiet and fresh.” He allowed his gaze to lower and blinked into the dark landscape. “After I got out of the hospital I disappeared into the countryside. I had never been to Seattle; it’s a bit cold for my tastes. But it was different and I kinda liked it.”

Angel listened to the meaning behind Gunn’s words.

“It brings it all back seeing Illyria again.” No mention of Spike.

Angel thinks of nothing else but that last fateful year, or two.

“What are the Scourge of Europe plans for the future?”

Angel’s lips lifted a little at the reference of his former self. There were few people that were allowed that luxury.

“I’m not sure,” he breathed.

Gunn moved closer so that he was lost in the shadows. “I think the Senior Partners have given up looking for us.”

Angel wasn’t too sure of that.

“We’re no threat to them anymore so what have they to gain?” Gunn asked.

“Besides vengeance.”

“Angel, we thwarted their plans before and they did not pound on the door.”

“There was enough pounding in that alley.”

“They always wanted you alive before, maybe they have reconsidered.”

Angel doubted that. “Maybe.”

“All I know is that I am back with my crew and I like to think I keep a low profile but if the Senior Partners wanted to then they would have to know that I am there.”

Angel didn’t want to belittle Gunn’s role in that final battle but he thought that maybe the Senior Partners no longer considered Gunn a threat.

“I know how they work. They do honour their agreements to a degree. We stopped the Big A, they tried to stomp on our guts, and it didn’t work so-”

Angel interrupted. “They try something else.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” Angel heard the big breath his friend took. “What I’m trying to say….. I want in. Whatever you decide to do I’m offering my services.”

Angel was touched beyond the words he had to say. “Thank you but think about what you are offering.”

“Angel? Gunn?” Buffy’s voice. Both men turned.

Gunn’s voice was deep and thick, his throat closed up. “I already have.” He stepped away back towards the light.

“Hey Buffy, has there been any killing while I’ve been gone?” Gunn teased as he strolled by.

“There’s still hope,” she teased back as she approached Angel.

“Hey.” Buffy wrapped her arms around her middle; it was a little cool outdoors.

Angel noticed but he didn’t have his coat on to offer to Buffy. “Hey.”

Well things were improving. From not answering at the beginning of all this to actually returning her greeting was encouraging.

“Don’t mind Andrew, his mouth isn’t connected to his brain.”

Angel silently agreed with her. He had already dismissed the boy from his concern.

Buffy waited for Angel to say something but as usual she was kept waiting.

“Shall we sit down?” she changed tack.

“It’s been raining.” The air was fresh with that clean washed aroma and wet earth smell.

Buffy tried to study his profile but the lack of a clear sky and a fuller moon made it difficult. Occasionally the sharp angles of his face were caught in a strip of light emanating from the house when he moved his head.

“Oh, well we can go inside if you like?”

When he didn’t answer she guessed not. “About what was said, have you decided on what you are going to do? I mean go back to the States or stay in Europe for a while?” Her heart chanted ‘stay.’

He had been thinking about that. To stay in Europe, travel, help out where he could. Kill the things that go bump in the night to keep the world safe, except he was the thing that went bump in the night. Keep under Wolfram and Hart’s radar. Could he do that, he had been doing that since the fight in the alley?

Buffy could see that he was mulling it over so she didn’t push. Pushing could bring about the result she didn’t want.

“Angel, the blue girl in there, she was Fred? That was the friend that you wanted Willow to help back in Los Angeles?”

Angel nodded. Buffy was dancing around the fact that Spike was here. She hadn’t mentioned him once.

“Is she dangerous? Because you know we have a house full of slayers who could help restrain her.”

“Yes she is. She is very powerful and can be unpredictable but she did help us against the Senior Partners demon army. So I think we can rely on her not to kill or maim anyone.” It was a long speech for him and suddenly he was tired of it all. The whole interacting with humans was very draining. He had been lonely the last couple of years but at least he hadn’t had to run the emotional gauntlet.

“So she is a friend?”

“No. Maybe. We are the muck beneath her feet.” He gave a sad little chuckle.

Buffy’s heart ached at the sound. “So I’m guessing she thinks that humans are well down on the evolutionary scale.”

“Something like that.”

The leaves rustled above their heads and in the night a chorus of frogs could be heard. Angel wondered if Illyria considered them alike to frogs, dwelling in the mire but daring to declare their presence. He wasn’t fond of it/her but he owed the demon something. Could it be as comrade at arms or something that was almost an understanding? He could not but see the bright, cheerful Texan girl whenever he looked at her/it. Was this the price of his friendship, to die, to be transformed into something evil?

Buffy was wondering what Angel was thinking. Was he thinking about Spike and all that entailed? Did he know about the yuk that had been their sex life the year she came back from the grave? He said it was in the past, none of his business, did he really mean that? Was she off the hook? And yet she couldn’t bring up his name.

She broke the quiet. “I’m sorry about Cordelia. Gunn and Lorne told me that she had passed away but I didn’t know the specifics. God! That must have been horrible. I know Cordelia and I didn’t see eye to eye but she was one of us.” Buffy couldn’t for the life of her see how Cordelia had been on a higher plain.

“How did she ascend to a higher plain? What happened?”

Angel saw the beautiful young brunette in his mind. A catty, brash, uncaring girl obsessed with fashion and stardom becoming a beautiful caring, strong, determined woman who loved them all. Another soldier down.

“I had to kill her to stop the evil inside her from giving birth to itself. I swung the blade…” He could picture every detail. The fight with Connor, his sword raised for the killing blow. He thought that was the hardest thing he had to do but he had been wrong.

“Oh Angel.” Buffy breathed. She had killed him to save the world that pain still ached inside. She couldn’t imagine having to do it again by killing either Willow or Xander. She felt bad about the loss of an eye and couldn’t look at Xander without feeling guilty.

“I was too late. It arrived in a burst of light leaving Cordy in a coma, brain dead. She died a year later.” He could feel her lips gracing his as she departed this world. Cordelia would always be in his heart but Buffy was entwined with his soul. Cordelia had been special, Buffy was his soul mate and that was the problem.

Buffy could at last feel the emotion coming off Angel. She now preferred the blank emotionless shell. Angel had loved Cordelia and she felt that stab at her heart. Was this his moving on, leaving her to love Cordelia? The wound bled when she heard his next words.

“She wasn’t the girl you knew. She was kind, caring, and strong; she had to be to carry the visions and she deserved better.” His voice grew bitter.

“You loved her.” Wrong Buffy, don’t be a bitch, her heart was pounding but she had to know.

Angel could hear her heart racing. Was it in anger or was it something else? He didn’t feel the need to answer Cordelia was no more.

Buffy had been very patient. She had been mature Buffy, considerate and sensitive Buffy to his pain and loneliness. She had tried and she thought had succeeded in putting all her petty jealousies aside. She had allowed him the sadness that surrounded and infused him. It had not worked in her favour he had been distant. Tonight he had finally opened up a little but now she could feel him closing down again and she wouldn’t let that happen. She needed to know if he still loved her and not Cordelia. If it meant a little bloodshed then so be it. She took a breath and took the plunge.

“You loved her,” she repeated.

“She’s dead.”

“Why can you not give me an answer Angel?” Suddenly she no longer felt the cold; her body was hot and flushed as she attacked.

His silence hung in the air a thick blanket smothering her questions.

“This is what you call waiting for me. You had already fallen in love with Cordelia before you came to Sunnydale with the amulet. Was it all a lie?” Her voice rose.

“Spike.”

Buffy froze when Angel addressed the vampire in question. Spike sauntered over to the two of them having entered the garden for a smoke knowing he would find them there.

“Well what do we have here pet? Captain Depressing cheering you up?” He lit his cigarette the brief flame illuminating his cheekbones and dark eyes.

“I thought you had given those up?” she asked trying to calm her frenzied heart.

“I did but then I thought, what the Hell, I have an eternity to suffer so I started again.” He smiled at her goading Angel into saying something.

Angel heard the easy familiarity and wished for that but he and Buffy had never been easy. Buffy did still care for his grand childe and although he had no plans to let Buffy back into his life he didn’t like the thought that Spike could be in hers. He set his face into that blank mask he had perfected years ago and let the glacier within cool his mind and heart. Hearts get in the way.

When his elder stayed quiet he tried something new. “Where have you been? You’re not dust so I reckon the Senior Partners haven’t found you yet. Was surprised to see you with this lot.” He blew smoke his way and continued not giving Angel time to respond.

“Illyria and I kept a low profile for awhile, it helps that she can change into Fred anytime she likes, can’t go public with a blue demon you know, causes some stares. But we’ve had some fun Blue and I.”

“How is she?”

“I’m still the half breed and her pet but she is mellowing, I can tell.” He took another drag.

Buffy wanted Spike away, back in the house, better yet out of the country. Away from Angel.

“Hadn’t you better be staying close to your demon lady?” She asked hoping to steer him back inside.

“Nah, she’s fine. The good and plenties are trying to study her. The Watcher keeps asking inane questions.” His cigarette burned lower on the next drag. “Don’t come crying to me if she kills the lot of them.”

Buffy sighed. Spike was deliberately being difficult. Or was he? He hadn’t sniped at Angel the whole time and the other vampire seemed to tolerate his presence. Was there hope after all?

“Then I think it would be a good idea, SPIKE, to go watch her.” Buffy insisted but the vampire ignored her. Taking advice had never been his strong point.

“I couldn’t help but overhear Buffy. Cordelia is dead. She was one of his Avengers or Team Angel or whatever the hell they called themselves. You have Xander and Willow and Giles, Peaches here had Percy and Cordelia and later on Gunn, Fred and Lorne. “

“Percy?”

“The ex watcher.”

“Oh you mean Wesley.”

Angel kept his cool. He remembered the babbling idiot he had become when in Rome with his irritating grand childe. Spike could bring out the worst in him with just a glance or a well chosen jibe or two. He wished that Spike could respect Wesley’s memory by at least remembering his name.

“The point Spike?” Buffy asked exasperated now.

“You love Xander like Angel loved Cordelia, only the boy isn’t dead.”

Immediately Buffy felt chagrined. “I’m sorry Angel I- you don’t have to explain anything to me.” Since when did Spike become her conscience? “We’ve not been in each other’s worlds for a long time. There’s a lot that I don’t know about yours.”

Angel heard Spike’s words and knew that Spike was wrong. He had loved Cordelia as a friend and as something more. It wasn’t what he and Buffy had but it had been love. He would never know if she had loved him back but he suspected that she had.

“People like us don’t get to have that.”

“Angel. There are no people like us.”

Spike thought that the two of them could do with a good healthy argument, it might kick start the old bastard’s heart. Besides he was always up for making his grand sire’s life miserable. So he couldn’t help add as he stepped back towards the house his cigarette finished.

“Ask him about dog girl. Nina I think her name is.” He disappeared into the house with a smirk.

“Nina?” Buffy asked.

Angel moved out from under the tree and paced a few steps away. He hoped that Nina was coping with the full moon three nights a month. He had left her a letter instructing her to go to the Hyperion and use the cage if the hotel had still been standing. It wasn’t and he did not know how she was managing. He hadn’t contacted her since the battle in fear of repercussions from the Senior Partners. With him out of her life she should be safe.

“Nina?” Buffy repeated following the vampire. “Dog girl? Is she someone you saved?”

“Someone I didn’t.” he sighed.

“I need more Angel, enough of this cryptic crap. Who is she?” Buffy couldn’t keep the anger out of her voice.

“She was bitten by a werewolf.”

“Oh. She was like Oz?”

“No. This werewolf was a different breed. She was twice the size of Oz and walked upright.” His voice was flat.

“And she came to you because?”

“I killed the werewolf that bit her but she got away from me before I could explain what had happened to her. We later tracked her down and managed to contain her before she killed anyone. They have extensive dungeons at Wolfram and Hart.” He was looking at her now.

“Is she pretty?” Buffy could have bitten her tongue the words were out of her mouth that fast. She was mad. Mad and jealous that he had found someone.

Angel studied her. Was she mad at him for some reason? It couldn’t be jealousy, she had obviously moved on.

“She’s a monster.”

“Angel! It wasn’t her-”

“Her words not mine.”

“Was she your girlfriend?” Her heart was hammering as she waited for the answer.

“She asked me for breakfast.”

Breakfast could only mean one thing. Spend the night and have breakfast in the morning. What about the curse?

“So you slept with her.” She bit out furious that he risked bringing forth Angelus for someone other than her.

“Only after Rome.” He recalled how devastated he had been to learn that his sworn enemy had been eating cookies.

“Rome? You slept with her after Rome? Was it retaliation Angel? And what about the curse?” She all but shouted.

Now he knew that she was angry but couldn’t understand the why. Her words cut and he couldn’t help himself.

“Andrew told us that you had moved on and that we needed to as well. We were wasting our time.”

“Andrew?” her tone was shrill. She was going to kill him. “Since when do you listen to what Andrew says?”

“Since he obviously lives with you! He invited us in.” Angel was getting angry and it was an emotion he hadn’t felt for some while.

“And you believed him. Why didn’t you come to me?” she fumed.

“We did but gee you were having so much fun!” he retorted.

“You saw me? You and Spike were stalking me? What gives you the right?” She snapped regretting it instantly. Here she was trying to get him to see that they could have a future together and she was telling him that he had no rights when it came to her? Very mature. She tried to get her breathing under control.

“None apparently! The Immortal Buffy! I knew him when I was Angelus. He’s evil. I wanted to protect you.” He finished lamely.

“I can take care of myself thank you. I don’t need you to-”

“Spike and I could see that so we flew back to L.A.” He mumbled something about cookies and finished baking.

“What did you say?”

“You had moved on, you were finished baking.” He answered.

Oh God! Not that cookie dough analogy. Tears welled but she refused to cry. Angel must have been hurt to use her phrase back at her. Maybe she was getting through the walls he had built around his heart.

“So you decided to sleep with Nina! What about the curse? You left me because we couldn’t.” she accused hating herself but lashing out all the same.

Angel stalked away and then paced back. He was being ridiculous and childish. Her anger at him was uncalled for. He had done terrible things to this wonderful girl but he was damned if he was going to be her whipping boy in this. His jealousy and hurt at her sleeping with Spike resurfaced.

“What about Spike?”

“That’s none of your business.” She snapped.

“But it’s yours when you find I slept with someone? Someone who cared for me knowing what I am and asked for nothing in return?” He dared her to deny it.

“Spike and I are over. You don’t need to know about it.” She bit out between clenched teeth.

“Ah but I do know all about it. What did you think Buffy? Did you think that Spike could resist taunting me with all the details? Rubbing it in my face about how many times he had you and that you kept going back for more?” He turned away from her his teeth ached and his fists were curled tight against his sides.

Now her tears did fall and she wiped them away before he turned back to her. Her anger sank into the pit of revulsion she felt for herself about the affair between Spike and her.

“Angel. I know you can never forgive me but I’m sorry,” she choked wiping at her face furiously.

He turned back and she could see his eyes shining. “Buffy there’s nothing to forgive. You were in a dark place. You were weren’t you?”

She nodded sniffing.

“I can’t pretend that I like it or that I haven’t felt rage because of it. But damn it; Spike? Why didn’t you come to me?”

“I just couldn’t,” she whispered.

“I blame Spike. He manipulated you; I know him and I know he did. He used you.”

“It wasn’t just Spike. I used him too. I told him so when I regained my senses and broke it off. That’s when he went to get his soul.” There was no way that Buffy was going to tell Angel that Spike had attempted rape.

“Buffy. He was a soulless vampire. There was no way you could have used him.” He wanted her to understand that.

“But he loved me.”

“He was obsessed with you. That’s not love.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Buffy, if he loved you, genuinely loved you then he wouldn’t have taken advantage of you. He would have cherished you, supported you not had you rutting like an animal.” It hurt to say those words and it hurt for Buffy to hear it coming from his lips.

Her shame spoke her next words. “It made me feel alive and that is nothing you know about.”

Angel’s flame of anger was doused by her cruelty. “No.” He turned to go.

Buffy cursed her temper, cursed the fact that she always lashed out at Angel. She grabbed his arm, held onto his hand.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” She looked up at his face wishing there was extra light to see. “Angel I do understand what you’ve said and although I don’t deserve it am grateful that you don’t blame me. But Spike has changed, he is a good man.”

There she goes going on about Spike. He snorted. “Really, because he seems the same to me.”

“He died to save us,” she reminded him and he felt petty.

“I know. It doesn’t seem like it but I know he has changed. He is still his annoying, irritating self but he did stand with me at the end and he did care about Fred and Gunn. He offered his life and I am grateful for that. It doesn’t mean that I have to like him though, never have, never will.”

“I hate the things I did with Spike. I do.” She squeezed his large hand. “And I’m sorry that I hurt you in the process.”

“Do you love him?” he had to ask.

She thought carefully and his heart sank at the hesitation.

“I care about him, I guess I love him as a friend but not like I love you.” There she finally said it.

Angel was still absorbing the relief of the friend part and hadn’t heard the ‘I love you.’ “And the Immortal?”

“A fling. He was handsome and dashing and exciting. In fact he reminds me of someone.” She dared to tease now that her temper had eased.

“He screwed Darla and Dru.” He blurted half listening.

“Huh?”

“At the same time.” He couldn’t stop.

“That’s, that’s, ew!” Buffy crinkled her nose in disgust. Angel could see just fine. She slid closer until she leaned into his tall body. “Another thing you and he had in common.”

“I was evil.”

“And I ask why you aren’t now? Nina?” Buffy dared to probe gently this time.

Angel felt Buffy’s heat against his cold chest and melted just a little more. “Wesley told me,” it hurt to think of the Englishman, “that 99 percent of couples never experience perfect happiness they settle for relative happiness. I knew that it was never about sex Buffy. Did you think I had been celibate for a hundred years? I kept away from women after I left you because I still loved you and I was also afraid that the curse would kick in if I got too close.” He gave a sad little chuckle. “And Cordelia was always there to remind me.”

“So you and Cordelia?”

“We shared one kiss.” The only kiss that had meant something, the others had all been magically influenced or evil or whatever.

Buffy’s burgeoning jealousy died as he continued. “She died at that moment.”

Buffy threw her arms about him and squeezed tight. “I’m so sorry Angel.” God she was pathetic when it came to him. She hoped that she never had to deal with Xander or Willow dying.

“She was an extraordinary woman.” He breathed.

Buffy was so glad that Angel hadn’t pulled away from her touch and she waited for him to acknowledge her declaration of love.

When the silence stretched she asked again from his chest. “The clause?”

“It was nice to be close to someone again. I was so tired of being lonely and I thought it was going to be my last day. Nina was nice and she accepted the way things were. I think knowing about the clause actually prevents perfect happiness. Not that perfect happiness is ever going to be on my agenda again.” He rumbled his voice fading on the last word.

Buffy loved the vibrations running through his chest when he spoke. She snuggled in closer.

“I love you.” She said it again.

Angel stood with the slayer’s arms around him and tasted her words with his very being. She loved him and he loved her back. What did that mean?

“I said I love you,” she repeated lifting her head from his chest and waited for his reply.

“What does that mean?” he asked his words a mere whisper.

“It means I love you.” She released him and took a step back. “Do you love me?”

“Always.” He had lost the battle but he was a fighter to the end. There was a lake forming in his chest from all the ice melting and he was swimming frantically. What was he to do now?

“It’s a start.” Buffy felt like whooping for joy. Angel still loved her. She felt giddy with happiness.

Willow ambled over to the two men at the window. “What are you looking at?”

Gunn and Spike shushed her. “Keep it down Red.”

Willow pushed between the two and stared out at the night. They were in the guest room that had been assigned to Angel and Charles Gunn. “What is it?” she whispered.

“Buffy and Angel,” Gunn explained.

Willow looked harder but still couldn’t see.

“Just past the big tree over towards the pond,” Spike pointed out.

Willow searched the night and could make out two dark shadows in that direction. “Are you sure?”

“Vampire eyeballs pet,” Spike reminded her.

“What are they doing?” she asked.

“Talking.” Gunn squinted wishing for a moment that he could see what Spike could plainly see. “Can you hear them?”

“I could if you shut up.” Spike held up a hand when Gunn glared back. “No- but I could if you let me back at the door.”

“It’s not polite to eavesdrop.” Gunn was sure as hell that Angel didn’t need Spike to overhear his conversation with Buffy.

“Why not, I started the fight that’s going on out there.”

“You started a fight? Why?” Willow demanded.

“Come on. Mr Broody Pants isn’t exactly talkative and Buffy needed to tell him something.” Spike winked at her.

“And you decided that they needed to fight to do it?” Gunn wasn’t happy with the blonde vampire; he had always been up to mischief at Wolfram and Hart.

“What did you say?” Willow didn’t waste her energy on getting angry with Spike. She had years on Gunn when dealing with Spike.

“I told her to ask Angel about his girlfriend Nina.” He raised his eyebrows in a pleased fashion.

“You did what?” Gunn was angry now. “She wasn’t really his girlfriend.”

“That’s what you think.” He clapped the bigger man on the shoulder and turned back to the window. “It didn’t matter if it got Buffy shouting and Peaches talking.”

“They had better not be fighting out there. It could come to blows.” Willow admonished as she tried to get a better look.

“You think?” Spike asked with hope.

“They don’t hit each other do they?” Gunn was incredulous. That was like abuse. “Angel is such a gentle guy.”

Willow and Spike both turned to him in utter disbelief.

“Angel! Gentle!” Spike snickered.

“You know what I mean. I know he can kick some serious butt, but he is so gentle when dealing with the ladies.”

Spike snorted now. “You obviously missed the whole Darla, Dru and Buffy episodes.”

Willow intervened. “You’re right Gunn, Angel can be very gentle and caring and understanding, but sometimes when those two fight? It has come to blows once or twice.” She turned back to the window leaving Gunn to deal with this new information.

Willow saw the shorter shape melt into the taller one. “Are they hugging?”

“God I hope not.” Spike didn’t have to like the fact that Buffy had chosen his rival but he accepted it. Helped it along against his better judgment. Seeing it was another thing. He was his own worse enemy.

He couldn’t help add, “Imagine the brawl if I had mentioned that thing with Eve.”

Gunn poked his arm. “Just don’t!”

Spike pretended the jab hurt and rubbed it.

“Eve?” Willow stepped back from the window.

“Don’t ask and please let Angel tell Buffy in his own time.” Gunn advised.

“That’ll be never!” Spike grumbled.

“Ok-a-y. Let’s give them some privacy.” She hauled them back down the hall making a mental note to worm it out of Spike at a later date. She knew how much he loved dishing out the dirt, especially when it came to Angel.

“Are you staying?” Buffy’s heart ached; she wished that Angel would put his arms around her.

“Here? I can’t. Giles….. No. I wouldn’t want to be the cause of more…” He trailed off. Pain? Death? Hate? Pick one or all came to mind.

Buffy slowly released him and put her hand on his chest. “Angel, we can work it out. Please!”

He stood still resisting the urge to run. “Buffy, you know what happens to people when they get close to me.”

Her hand started to rub small circles across his chest. “You cannot blame yourself for their deaths. It happens; it doesn’t mean that it was your fault.”

He stepped back breaking contact. “If it was your friends, your family...” his voice wavered off.

Buffy bit her lip. True she had threatened to give up her calling when it became clear that Dawn would be sacrificed to Glory or to save the world. She wouldn’t let him give up though.

“We’ve lost people. Mom.”

“Not the people you love.” He held up his hand. “I’m sorry about your mother Buffy, but she died a natural death. She wasn’t a victim of the darkness that defines our lives.”

She hated the fact that he was right. On a sudden thought she replied, “I killed you and I’m still fighting.”

“You ran away.” The sadness of his tone resonated within her. He blamed himself for that too.

“I came back.” She whispered.

“If it was Dawn or Willow or even Xander?”

He was again correct. She knew that she would do as he was, run away, disappear.

“So you are running away, going into hiding? I thought we had gone over this. Wolfram and Hart are not looking for you anymore. You don’t have to hide.”

“Maybe.”

“Okay. You don’t have to stay. I understand about that. But you have people who care about you. I care about you. Can you not find a way that we can work something out?” She wished that they were inside so that she could watch the expressions on his face, she was arguing blind here. Then the thought of all her friends listening into their conversation changed her mind.

He was silent.

“Angel I want to be with you. I want you in my life and I in yours. I want to spend time with you. Can we give it a shot? Can we start small take it one day at a time? Just spend time, a few weeks and see what happens?” She pleaded.

“You will die.” He was scared that this lovely creature will go the way of the others. Everything he touches turns to ashes. And yet, deep down he wanted this, had wanted this for so long. His heart betrayed him and listened to her pleas. His head was screaming “let her go!”

“Maybe but it’s a risk I take every day.” She waited with bated breath.

“Angel?”

“I have to think on it.”

“You mean brood.” She sighed and relented besides she was really shivering now. She offered one last insight.

“I understand that you have lost family Angel.”

He stiffened at her use of words, if only she knew.

“But think about this. We have saved the world. You have saved the world. Not once but many times. Think of the people who are alive because of you, but do honour to the ones that are not.”

“When did you get so wise?” She could hear the smile in his voice, something she thought she would never hear again.

“I don’t know. It must have snuck up on me,” she smiled relieved that he appeared to be listening. It was up to him now.

She quickly stretched up on her toes and kissed his cheek. “I’ll leave you to brood but I’ll see you later?”

He nodded and she hurried away. Buffy shut the back door and strode down the hall to the library. She spied Andrew and grabbed his arm and hauled his ass out into the hall and down to the kitchen shouting at the others to leave Angel alone. She and Andrew were going to have a talk.

Faith raised a brow, Gunn and Spike smirked at the frightened look that crawled across the wannabe watcher’s face.

Willow, Xander and Giles looked after the disappearing two.

“What the f…?”

“Faith!” Giles scolded.

Spike laughed openly, Illyria just looked on with no interest. “I think Andrew’s going to have some explaining to do to Buffy.”

At Gunn’s look he explained. “A few things were said in Rome.” He punched Gunn in the arm “He’s going to get his ass kicked!” Spike was laughing so much that he was gasping for air, something he didn’t have to do usually.

Faith spoke up from her seat. “I’d like to see that.”

Spike wiped his eyes and held out a hand to the slayer. “Shall we go eavesdrop?”

Faith got that evil look back in her eyes. She grinned and accepted the vampire’s hand. “You bet.”

Illyria watched them leave the room. “That was hilarity. Why do you feel grief when you laugh?”

“It’s tears of joy Illyria.” Gunn told her. “It’s something we do when we are happy.”

“My time in this world has taught me many things I wish not to know. The half breed has not taught me this.”

“His name is Spike.” Gunn dared to correct her.

“Yes. He instructs me so but I prefer pet or half breed.”

“Okay! Backup the story for the new guys. What is going on with Buffy and Andrew?” Xander wanted to stop Illyria talking. Giles had tried to get her to open up but the God King had not shown any inclination to chat. Illyria’s speech reminded him of Anya’s way of talking and it brought a lump to his throat even after all this time. He hadn’t met anyone else that could fill his heart as she did, for all her faults he had loved her.

“Just something that Andrew said to Angel and Spike when they visited Buffy in Rome a while back.”

“They returned to The Wolf, The Ram and The Hart without the head.” Illyria reminded Gunn.

“The head was returned by the Rome branch. It was The Immortal who stole the head.” Gunn had heard the low

down on that story.

“Betrayal and violence, perhaps this world is not so different to mine after all. I have seen it when we travel.”

Willow said to no one in particular. “And I thought we led strange lives. Does anyone else understand a word they are saying?”

Giles who had been watching Illyria intently spoke up. “I’ve always had that problem with you Americans.”

“That’ll be bloody Americans to you G man.” Xander reminded as he too scratched his head at the on going conversation.

“How many times have I asked you not to call me that?” He turned his attention to Charles Gunn. “Are there any references to Illyria that I can access?”

“The only books that contain any mention of The Old Ones were in the special archives of Wolfram and Hart. It predated human history so good luck with that.” He shrugged and got up to stretch his legs. He paced over to the doorway to see if he could hear anything but couldn’t so he paced back again.

Giles pinched his nose and pushed his glasses back up to his eyes. “They were extensive these archives?”

“You have no idea.” Gunn stepped over to the Englishman and his desk. “They had these templates that looked like a book only the pages were blank. One only had to intone the title of the works and the language or translation and Bob’s your uncle.”

Giles’ eyes took on a feverish gleam at the thought of such books. “And Wesley had access to these archives?”

“He was the Department Head and used the archives extensively.”

“A mere trick; one useful for those that had no memory of such things. I needed no such devices to rule.” Illyria had moved forward so that she was standing behind Gunn. This human Giles, reminded her of Wesley. She decided that perhaps she would converse with it.

“Easy for you to say,” Gunn looked back at her over his shoulder. “But we mere mortals kind of need books to hold all our knowledge.”

“Or a brain upgrade.” Illyria turned her blue gem like eyes from him and dismissed him from her concern. She focussed her gaze on the Watcher.

“What IS she talking about?” Willow asked but Gunn was saved the embarrassment of reply when Spike and Faith were propelled into the room along with Andrew. Buffy followed shortly behind them.

Spike and Faith were giggling like children and Andrew was very downcast and quiet.

“Don’t you two have better things to do than to eavesdrop on private conversations?” Buffy was miffed. She had been dressing down Andrew good and proper about putting words in her mouth, advising the two vampires to move on and forget her and for threatening Angel over Dana when she had heard laughter coming from behind the door. She had even promised to feed Andrew to Angelus if he ever showed his good old evil self or pitting him against the next evil demon or vampire that they came across and leaving him to handle it alone. Come to think of it Angel needed a neck to chew on, she was sure that he could be tempted.

When Buffy yanked open the door the vampire and Faith had all but fallen into the room in a mess of giggles. She then ordered them all out of the room before her and hissed into Andrew’s ear that the authorities in California may still be interested in his whereabouts. He was after all a wanted man back in the U.S.A and he had better not forget it.

“Honestly B? We don’t. The boy here provided the entertainment for the night didn’t you Andrew?”

Andrew sidled over to a chair in the corner and sat meekly, away from them all.

Spike leaned against the wall a huge grin gracing his features. “I liked the part about feeding him to the poof. He’d be a little chewy though I don’t think he’d make a good meal.”

Buffy glared at them and turned to leave the room. “You and me a going to have a talk Spike!” she threatened thinking of all the details the vampire had divulged to Angel of their sex life. Spike threw his hands up a look of mock horror on his face.

“Buffy?”

Her first step became a pivot as she faced Willow.

“Is Angel…I mean I know it’s none of our business...” the witch tapered off.

“Yeah B. What’s up with Angel?”

Spike snorted his disdain.

Xander and Giles kept quiet as they waited for her answer.

Because Willow, Faith and Gunn had Angel’s best interests at heart Buffy decided to be honest with them.

“You know how cut off Angel’s been since he took on the Senior Partners.” By the looks on some of the faces not all of them knew the whole story but she didn’t care to explain, not right now.

“We had to lay low; we’re on their hit list.” Gunn reminded her.

“It’s been a couple of years now; I think the danger is past.” She flashed him an understanding smile .Buffy took a big breath. “I’ve asked him to consider letting me back in his life.”

Faith gave a whoop of joy and did a little dance in front of them all. Willow beamed and Spike grunted but it was for show. It hurt but he knew that Buffy wanted this and he would do anything for her.

And as Xander and Giles opened their mouths to spout she was sure objections she added, “I don’t know if he will agree. He’s afraid to let anyone close to him again; you know best of all how that usually pans out Charles.”

He nodded as she continued. “He’s out there thinking on it and for that I am grateful.” A determined look crossed her face.

“I want you all to leave him alone, give him some space while he does that. Don’t worry, he won’t be staying here for long, he doesn’t feel comfortable. But I need you to do this for me and don’t make it hard for the both of us.”

She threw one last thing back at them as she turned to leave the room. “I’m just going to see if he’s still out there.”

“I thought you said to leave him to think?” Xander called as she left.

Feeling as if she had pulled at her stitches, Faith gingerly lowered herself to sit next to Willow who was still beaming. “I take it you approve?”

“Yeah I do. I admit that Angel isn’t the easiest guy to get along with but Buffy loves him and he loves her. That’s good enough for me.”

“Angel not easy? No way! He’s a pussycat isn’t he Charlie?” Faith laughed and called for Gunn’s opinion.

He was smiling, feeling that things had suddenly looked up for his friend. “Maybe if you’re a slayer. Man’s always been hard to read and even harder to handle.”

“I guess Buffy will be the one handling him now.” Faith hinted wickedly, a lascivious look in her eye.

“I hope not! What about the curse?” Xander was truly alarmed. He certainly didn’t want Angelus back. He got up to follow Buffy.

Gunn relaxed for the first time since arriving in the house. These people were a family not unlike the one back in L.A. There were the dissenters sure, ones he didn’t like but a family all the same. As for the two head slayers? Buffy and Faith were fine by him. They cared for the vampire and Willow had helped them out in a crisis and Gunn had liked her from the start. Faith was still grinning at him and Charles wondered at the look in her eye. Oh boy! He shifted in his seat nervously.

“Does your leader consider a mate?” Illyria asked.

“He wishes.” Spike growled knowing inside it was his own desperate wish. “Buffy and Angel? It’s complicated.”

Xander found Buffy closing the back door a look of distress on her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“He’s not there.” Buffy marched past Xander and into Angel’s room. Upon realising his bag of belongings were still in residence she let out a sigh of relief.

Xander had followed her inside and heard her sigh. “Perhaps he went for a walk.”

“You’re probably right Xander.” She searched the room for his coat and came to the same conclusion when she couldn’t find it.

Xander watched the frown disappear and the tightened lips relax. He straddled the desk chair and Buffy sank down onto Angel’s bed. Her hand smoothed the pillow and quilt of his bed something that Xander couldn’t help ignore.

He swallowed. “Buffy, you know I haven’t exactly been the president of the Angel fan club.”

“Is that where Andrew got his information from? He has been hanging out with you; I certainly haven’t discussed Angel with him.” Buffy’s anger had died and now all she felt was let down.

Xander shifted guiltily. He had vented his dislike of the vampire to Andrew on several occasions when asked.

Buffy wrinkled her brow. “I can’t imagine Giles-”

He held up a hand to silence her.

“He hurt a lot of people and all of us.”

“It wasn’t him.”

“Even with a soul Buffy. He hurt you. He left you and he had good reason. I said ‘good riddance’ then but not now.” He hurried on. “Loving Anya taught me a lot of things. I loved her when she was human and when she was not. She killed and cursed a lot of people and I still loved her.” His one eye glittered and he blinked the unbidden tear away.

Buffy sat silent her heart ached for Xander’s loss.

“When you had to kill Anya I hated you for a minute, just a minute. You couldn’t kill Spike but you reminded us that you did kill Angel, and I was not sympathetic about it back then. I lied to you about Willow attempting the spell the second time. I understand now that you don’t stop loving someone even when they do terrible things. I couldn’t see past Angelus to Angel. Angel had no control over Angelus but Anya was still Anya when she became a vengeance demon.” He paused to consider his next words.

“When Willow went mad and tried to destroy the world, I told her that I still loved her veins or no veins, she was still my friend.” He wiped away the tear that refused his attempts to go away.

He looked Buffy in the eye. “I’ve seen how you’ve been over the years since Angel left. I ignored the obvious pain and we all encouraged you to move on. It hasn’t worked I can see that now. I left Anya and saw her pain. I know how I felt and Angel must have felt the same for you.”

“Xander...”

“I just want to say, I would give anything to get a second chance with An, and I hope that you get a second chance with Angel.” His lips curled up. “Just as long as the clause holds otherwise all bets are off. I’m sorry about bitching at him every time I see the guy, I can’t seem to help myself, but I promise to try in future.”

Buffy choked back a sob, her own tears washed down her cheeks. She left the bed and gave her best friend a hug. It felt good to embrace her friend and she clung on for an extra moment. Xander Harris had a big heart although it didn’t seem like it when he acted the clown, it was there filled with love for his friends.

“Thank you. It means a lot to me.” She released him and paced over to the window. “I hope he gives me another chance.”

“Why wouldn’t he?”

Buffy craned her neck to see out into the night but it was useless. Her eyes were not the keen eyes of a vampire.

“I turned him down when he came with the amulet. He wanted to fight by my side but I turned him down.” She smeared her tears with an arm.

Xander stood and slung his arms about her shoulders. “He won’t hold that against you.”

“No but a lot has happened since then. I can’t lose him again.”

“He would have been toast if he had stayed.” He offered.

“Yeah but Spike came back.”

“Better Angel than Spike I say.”

Buffy punched him in the arm. “Ow! What did I say? Now I have a bruise to match the other arm and Ow!” He rubbed it tenderly.

Buffy smiled and led him to the door. “That’s the Xander I know and love. You had me worried there for a moment. I thought that you had been possessed by a demon or something. I was going to get Willow to dispossess you.”

“Try and do something nice and this is the thanks I get?” he grumbled good naturedly as they moved down the hall.

The house was asleep when Angel slipped quietly in. It was near dawn, the sky had that strange half light to it before it went rose. He hadn’t meant to be so long, his feet had carried him through the fields, past neighbouring homes and farms all of which he hadn’t really appreciated as he sifted through his memories and thoughts. The guilt still pressed heavy on his soul. The centuries of killing and maiming, the decades of useless existence all were examined and keenly felt. Last of all the ten years spent becoming someone. Someone that loved a slayer, The Slayer. A Vampire with a Soul that through that love found the way to become someone other than a demon. A champion. And where had that led? He lost Buffy, his friends one by one and then his baby son. Evil had spread its wings and its shadow had fallen upon him and his and many had perished. He had dared and for one brief moment succeeded but at what cost.

He had sat in an open field and considered the words of his soul mate. Was he destined to be alone for ever or dare to try again? To let people back in to his heart, to risk their lives and souls, Buffy’s life and soul, was that possible? He had a greater purpose and he wasn’t going to fulfil that fighting in the streets taking on the small stuff. The Shanshu was forever denied to him but what of it? He never deserved any of it for all the evil he had perpetrated. His heart’s desire was offered to him and he what, ran away? Could he do that knowing it would be his very last chance at happiness? He snorted. Happiness was not a word that he could bandy around. Happiness would not be found in Buffy’s bed, not perfect happiness; not anymore. Buffy courted death every day, had died twice could he see her die a third time and not have had the chance of a life together? She was willing, could he deny her? Could he deny himself this dream come true?

His heart had changed since coming to Britain. Travelling the dimensions, rescuing Faith, being near Buffy and people he cared about had weakened his resolve. Truth be told his lonely existence although necessary wasn’t one to be desired. Could he embrace friendship again, should he? His thoughts revolved and twisted and circled back on themselves as he sat. The frozen ice of emotions had melted and he was swimming frantically trying not to drown in its lake. He had survived the last couple of years by shutting his feelings down, focussing on the kill, fighting demons and vampires where he could. It was simple. It was easy to not feel his pain or anyone else’s that came his way. Shut down, keep away, avoid and flight. Was this the life of a champion? A champion had to step up and be counted, show the world what it could be. Could he do that again?

The shower of rain went unheeded as he sat. Water dripped from his wet locks and trickled past his cheeks and nose. It was cold but he didn’t notice lost in contemplation. The rain passed and he moved on; his feet trampled the long wet grass that grabbed at his ankles asking him to stay. He found his way back in the unerring way that he had; his sense of direction uncanny.

“Angel?” His name was a whisper in the dark hall.

Buffy was seated on the floor waiting for him, her slight frame hard against the papered wall. Midnight had come and left and Faith and Gunn had suggested that they set out to find the wayward vampire. Buffy had sighed and told them thankyou but better to let him be. Faith and Gunn were excited about the prospect of Angel coming back into the fold and offered their services for whatever he decided to do. Gunn was willing to go anywhere but was hoping that it would be L.A. Faith also loyal didn’t care where although the prospect of having Gunn around had loads of appeal.

“Buffy?” He held out a hand to help her up.

“You’re wet.” Clutching his cold wet hand she led him down to the kitchen where she grabbed a towel and handed it to him.

Angel released her and began to dab at his face and hair. “I hadn’t noticed.”

“Take off your coat, I’ll make some tea.”

She watched him do so in the soft glow of the one lamp that burned all night every night for hungry slayers and watchers. She took the coat and draped it over the back of a chair before picking up the kettle to fill and achieving that she lit the gas ring and turned to watch him.

He filled the room and she was mesmerized by the shape of his brow, his dark eyes and the curve of his cheek. His lips disappeared behind terry cloth and she blinked. Her heart had rejoiced when she heard his quiet entrance from her position on the floor. She hadn’t slept and decided that waiting in the hall was the only thing to do. She realised he had stopped and was watching her so she stepped to the cupboard that housed pretty patterned china and found a couple of mugs that wouldn’t be dwarfed in his large hands.

“You still like yours black?” She asked for something to say.

“You like yours sweet.” He nodded.

He remembered how she liked her tea and Buffy felt a warm glow that he remembered something so trivial about her. He sat and folded the towel into a perfect square before placing it on the table.

“Still a neat freak I see.”

“Still not I take it.” His lips curled into that half smile she loved so much.

The kettle sang and Buffy filled the mugs and planted two tea bags in the boiling water. “Giles would wig at this. It has to be leaves in a pot for him and the rest of the country I should think.” She was making small talk to cover her racing heart. She could sense a change in the man before her. That smile, the small talk; did it mean?

She settled the kettle and pushed his mug over. Buffy retrieved the milk from the fridge and poured quite a lot of it into her tea. She sat and spooned several scoops of sugar from the bowl that was permanently centred on the table. She stirred waiting for him say something, anything.

He tortured her by raising his cup to his lips and taking a long swallow.

“I was worried,” she finally blurted when he remained quiet.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I couldn’t sleep and when you hadn’t come home earlier I got a little frantic.”

What else she was going to say died in her mind when he suddenly reached out and took her hand. Her breath caught in her throat. She stared at his large pale hand engulfing hers.

“Thank you.” The two words were soft and full of meaning; Buffy looked to his face to decipher what.

The eyes that looked back at her were no longer shuttered and lifeless. There was sadness so deep, a despair she hoped never to experience again. There was also a spark, a glimmer, was it hope? Her world became a little dim and suddenly she remembered to breathe. He put his cup to one side.

“Angel?” She searched his eyes.

“Can you possibly give an old tired vampire who has no idea of how to go on from here a third chance?” He bent his head and kissed her hand that was wrapped in his.

Buffy reached out and touched his dark hair. He laid his head on their joined hands. “I can’t promise you anything or that it will be easy.” He sounded so tired and sad that she curled her hand about his neck and stretching out lay her head atop his.

“It’s never been easy for us so why change it now?” she whispered as tears welled.

They stayed like that; Buffy’s shining blonde locks crowning his dark hair, taking comfort from one another, drinking in the physical contact. Her hand still trapped in his grew cool and wet. Buffy wondered as she closed her eyes if it was his wet hair that made it so or was it tears? Buffy had only seen Angel in tears twice before, long ago and until then hadn’t known that vampires could cry. His heart must be sorely wounded to do so now and her tears fell hot, warming his neck. She kissed his head and told him it will be all right.

She was here.