| Fair Trade |
| "You're here again. For the third time this week." Joey commented as he found JC surrounded by a heap of crumpled tissue paper on the Lance and Joey bus. "Hey. I'm sorry but I couldn't leave Dirk back home. The little guy might miss me." Lance apologized. "It's okay. I couldn't concentrate on Justin's bus. They were and I quote "Having the battle of a life time" on PS2. I thought about it and decided that sneezing was a lot better than going deaf." JC commented as he sniffled. "But you keep sneezing here. How are you going to work on your songs?" Lance worried. "I'm sure I can survive till the next stop. It's just two hours. You can help me. If you want to, that is." JC suggested. "I can help!" Joey exclaimed excitedly. "Joey." JC said gently. " I think Lance would be able to help me more than you can." "If you say so." Joey muttered as Lance sat down beside a beaming JC. ************************ "I hate it when you do that!" JC flared up as he stalked back to the bus after the concert. "I didn't know! It was unintentional." Justin barked. "You always, always steal my lines." "No, I don't." "You are just a brat. A spoilt, self-absorbed brat who didn't even had the guts to ask Britney out on date. I had to do it for you!" "I can't believe you brought that up!" Justin fumed as he stomped up the tour bus. "Well, it's true." Chris stroked his chin thoughtfully, stopping when he received a heavy dose of Justin's killer glares. "But, JC, you've shouldn't have said that." "Whatever." JC dragged his pre-packed suitcase out of his bunk and hobbled off the bus, greeting some of the crew who waved to him as he made his way to the other bus. "JC? What are you doing here, again?" Joey sighed as he made the driver open the door for him. "I like being here." JC stated as Joey grabbed his suitcase and placed it in the extra bunk. The driver started the engine and they were on their way to the next concert destination. "Another fight with Justin? Man, I thought you guys were best friends. What happened this time?" Joey sat down on the couch, looking at JC, who shrugged. "Where's Lance?" Joey laughed. "He's giving his precious Dirk a bath at the back. Says he's dirty or something." "Kay." "Hey, aren’t you allergic to that ferret?" "No." "If you say so." Joey said and JC sneezed. Lance heard the whole conversation and wondered why he had the feeling of déjà vu. ************************ Three hours later, JC was back on the same tour bus with Chris and Justin, harboring a running nose and watering eyes. "Miss the time for your pills?" Justin sneered and JC gave him the finger before sneezing his head off. "Dirk the wonder ferret." Chris commented, shaking his head. "Happens every time he gets on that bus." Justin settled in the couch, munching on a pack of chips. "He's not allergic to Busta." "Allergies are funny things. They come in the forms of the weirdest things. Like my friend, Dean, he's fine with everything but Glower washing powder. He gets these giant boils. Every time he goes on a holiday, he has to ask the hotel stuff whether they use the particular brand." Chris remarked. Justin aimed now-empty chips wrapper at the wastepaper basket. "That was totally random information I did not need to know about your friend." "Well, you went on about Britney for the first three months you were dating. I know her deepest, darkest secrets. Want me to tell her that I know about the time when she made out with…" Chris wriggled his eyebrows, a devilish glint in his eyes. Justin missed the basket, the wrapper landing on the floor. He scowled and held his hands up in surrender. "Okay, point taken." There was a loud thud from JC's bunk. The two men turned over to see books strewn over the floor. "I hate you. I hate that fucking ferret. And I…I…hate my life in general." JC shouted from his bunk. "What's wrong with him now?" Justin sighed. Chris, wisely, kept his own mouth shut. "I'm throwing a hissy fit. You happy?" JC shouted. "You never act like this, even when you're mad. JC, you…you're not the type to throw stuff around." Justin stated stupidly while Chris shook his head. "Justin, just let him rage. He'll be fine when…" Chris' cell phone rang and he answered it. He listened for a few minutes before walking over to JC's bunk and dumping it in his lap. "What?" JC snarled. "Your call since you left your cell over at Lance's place." Chris said and JC grabbed the phone without a thank-you. "Lance?" JC's voice softened considerably and when he beamed despite the running nose, something dawned on Chris. ************************ "Lance, can I keep your ferret for a week on my bus? Please?" Chris begged during breakfast while Lance was reading The Wall Street Journal. "No." Lance replied without looking up from his paper. "Dirk likes me, ya know. He talks to me." There was a rustling of papers as Lance put it on the chair next to him. "Really, what exactly does my Dirk talk to you about? Assuming he's not trying to scratch your eyes out." "He's been telling about how great it would be for him to spend a week on my bus." "Amazing. Do you know what Dirk tells me?" Lance picked up a fork and stabbed a piece of bacon, a dangerous smile on his face. "Uh…no." Lance broke into his business grin. "He thinks that you'll starve him to death, let Busta chase him around your bus and hide him in Justin's bunk so that Justin will squash him." "La-ance, I will never, ever do anything like that." Chris paused and ran through the list of things in his mind. "Okay, maybe…just maybe the Busta part." "Kirkpatrick, you do not go five feet within my Dirk or I'll do things to you with this fork that you've only heard of in your nightmares." Lance threatened, waving his fork around. Everyone stared at Lance in strange fascination except for JC who seemed to be fixated on the fork. Joey pretended to jot down a note with a pen. "Note to self: Do not mess with Lance or he will do unimaginable things to you with a fork. Kinky, Bass, very kinky. Are you sure about doing it to just Chris? How about Justin or maybe JC?" "Joey." Lance rolled his eyes. "I'm serious. I take my parenting duties seriously. Touch him and you're dust, Kirkpatrick." Lance's eyes narrowed. "Uh…okay." Chris squeaked meekly. ********************************** Dirk the ferret was happily munching away when someone grabbed him. He thought it was his Lance at first and tried to nuzzle the hand. He caught a whiff of the scent from the unfamiliar hand that was wearing a glove. He knew he'd recognize that scent from anywhere. It was the weird man with the shrill voice. Dirk bit down hard on the glove. There were some colorful curses as well as "fucking ferret" s but the gloved hand held on tight, dumping him back into a new cage. Then, the cage started swinging around. Dirk slid from side to side, feeling rather nauseous when the cage finally stopped. He stayed still, not daring to move, wishing that his Lance would come and save him from the not-so-mysterious ferret-napper and his two accomplices. *************************** "Great show tonight, guys!" Wade Robson, their choreographer, clapped their backs as the guys gathered around the dressing room after their showers for a de-briefing session. "Though…Chris, you and Joey looking a little tired today. You should have been refreshed by the little nap this afternoon." "I would be, if someone wasn't busy playing ma…" Joey muttered under his breath as he glared at Chris. "What was that?" Wade asked, a little confused. "Joey was saying that Justin has a minor muscle ache. Why don't you go and help him massage his leg?" Chris suggested, pointing towards Justin who was leaning a little more on one leg. "It's nothing, just strained myself playing b-ball in the afternoon. You don't have to massag…. whoa. That feels really good, don't stop." Justin closed his eyes and Wade grinned. Lance looked at Justin in envy, rubbing his own shoulders sub-consciously when he felt a pair of hands on his shoulders, kneading his sore muscles. He tilted his head up to see JC smiling at him. Lance smiled back at him softly. One of the bodyguards rapped on the door, shouting loudly. "Time to get on the bus, we've gotta go now." Justin left first, accompanied by Wade, who was giving him massage tips. Lance reluctantly got up from his seat, leaving the room, with Chris trailing closely behind. JC stood on the spot for a while before Joey snapped him out of his daze. "JC, I gotta discuss something with you. It's about Lance." "Lance?" JC frowned. "Is something wrong with him?" "Nah, but I need you to go over to my bus for a while. He's acting a little strangely." Joey scratched his head as they made their way towards the exit of the stadium, flanked by two bodyguards. They were about to make a run for it through the screaming girls when Joey braked suddenly. "Damn, my cell phone. I left it in the dressing room. I gotta go back and get it. Kelly might call me. Listen, you take both the guards and wait for me in my bus. 'Kay? Later." Joey said before running back into the stadium. "I'll wait for him." JC began but got cut off as the bodyguards dragged him out into the crowd. The trio made their way swiftly to Joey and Lance's bus. The two guards shoved him up the stairs and into the bus. JC barely had time to steady himself when the bus engine started and roared off onto the highway. "Joey? Have you seen Dirk? He's not in his cage." Lance's voice called out from under the bunk beds. "Joey's not here and no, I've not seen Dirk." JC answered. There was a loud thud from the bunk beds. Lance climbed out, rubbing his head with his left hand. "JC, you scared me. Dirk's missing. So where's Joey?" Lance asked, worry apparent in his green eyes. "Joey went back to the dressing room to get his cell phone, I lost him and the bodyguards shoved me up the bus before I could say anything. " JC said, fidgeting a little nervously. "These new bodyguards sure do their jobs seriously." Lance commented. JC agreed and he sat down on the couch in the middle of the bus. He glanced around the tour bus, his gaze resting on something familiar. "Hey, isn't that my notebook? And that's my suitcase, with my stuff. What's my stuff doing here?" Lance looked at JC's suitcase and frowned. Then he remembered. Lance dug under the pillow of Joey's bunk. He held out the missing phone. "Cell phone? His cell phone's on the bus. Here it is." As if on cue, the cell phone rang. Lance answered the call. "Joey's phone." "Hey, Lance! What's up?" Chris's excited voice came over the phone line. Lance could hear Joey and Justin giggling in the background. "Chris. Have you seen Dirk?" Lance frowned. "Chris, if anything happens to Dirk…" "Yeah, yeah. I wanna talk to JC first. " Chris laughed. Lance passed the phone to JC. "Uh…Chris? What's going on? Why is my stuff here?" JC questioned. "We traded you." Chris said gleefully. "Huh?" "We traded you for Joey and Dirk." Somehow, from the tone of Chris's voice, JC knew that he was rubbing his hands together in glee. "You traded me. For Joey. And Dirk." JC repeated like a parrot. "Hmm…that's right." "The purpose of the trade would be to…?" "Get you laid, hopefully by Lance? Make me proud of ya, my man." Chris said seriously before breaking into laughter. JC remained silent. Lance took the phone back. "Chris, why in the world would you do something as dumb as this?" Lance interrogated. "Oh. I see. Well…yes, but…oh. Oh. Okay. " After a few minutes of silence, Lance hung up. "So…what did Chris tell you?" JC could not resist asking. "Chris said that he traded you for Joey and Dirk 'cause Dirk was a lot friendlier as well as less grumpy than you." Lance's eyes twinkled. "Chris also said that there's unresolved sexual tension between us." JC felt his ears getting warm "Uh...I don't. Have unresolved sexual tension. With you. Hey, I'm…uh…not sneezing anymore." "That's because Dirk's not here. I think the guys got someone to vacuum the place too. However, that's not the point. See, Chris mentioned that if you don't get your unresolved sexual tension resolved, he's not going to let Dirk come back in one piece." Lance sat down beside JC. "Why not?" JC asked, keeping his hands firmly by his side. "It wouldn’t be a fair trade." Lance studied JC who shifted nervously in the couch. "That's an interesting concept." JC mumbled as Lance moved closer. And closer. And their lips met in long, hungry kiss. *********************************** "Joey? Why does Dirk hate me so much?" Chris sighed at the sight of Dirk growling at him. "Gee, maybe because you keep poking him with your finger?" Joey replied as he saw Chris trying to pet the ferret through the cage unsuccessfully and poked him by accident instead. Justin smirked. He put his hand in the cage and petted Dirk. Dirk stopped growling, looking at Justin with adoring eyes. "Look at Justin. It's always like that, even with the chicks. I want JC back." Chris lamented as Dirk lay on his side to let Justin scratch his stomach. "I'm calling Lance up." Chris grabbed his phone, dialing the numbers. "No one's picking up. Wait, hello Lance! I want to trade JC back for Joey and Dirk. What do you mean by no way? Lance, is that JC making those sounds in the background? Okay, you know what, call me when you’re done. Bye." "What's the situation now?" Joey inquired. "Lance's not going to trade JC back that soon." Chris's eyes widened. "Hey, Justin. You want the ferret? I'll let you have him if you lend me your laptop." "The new one? No way. Dirk is not even yours." "Hey, Joey, guess who Britney made out with when…" "The laptop's in my bunk, Chris." "Cool!" |