Scoop1

“Justin. Syrup. Now.”

“Geez, Joe, give me a second.” Justin said as he finished pouring syrup on his pancakes and eggs. “Here. All done.” Justin licked a dollop of syrup off his finger as he handed the bottle to Joey.

Chris loaded one more piece of sausage onto his plate and turned to Lance who was cooking scrambled eggs and watching the remaining sausage pieces cook. “Hey, Scoop, where is JC? Did he party too hard last night?”

Lance glanced at Chris as he answered, “Shhh, yeah right. We vegetated in front of the TV. The most strenuous thing Josh did was con me into waiting on him.”

“Sucker!”

Lance grinned. “Yeah, yeah. Go eat. You’re distractin’ me. Josh’ll drag himself out of bed in a little while.” He turned back to his cooking and Chris sat down at the table. He mindlessly stirred the eggs as he thought back to last night and how JC had conned him into waiting on him. He smiled to himself as he thought about Josh stretched out on the couch in a pair of Scooby Doo boxers and a white wife beater. He, himself, had been sitting in an armchair with his feet propped up on the coffee table. They had been watching Gene Roddenberry’s Andromeda, and Josh had been doing his boneless human impression.

The halftime commercial break had just started when Josh had turned his head to look at him. His eyes had been half closed, and he was languidly brushing his fingers back and forth along the hard wood floor. The sight had captivated Lance so it took a minute for him to react to JC’s words.

“What? What do you mean ‘closer to being up’?”

“Awe, come on, Scoop. You’re sitting in the chair, and I’m lying down hence you’re closer to being up than I am. So please get me some chips and a coke.” He had batted his eyelashes and poked out his bottom lip in a pout and Lance had caved.

“Okay, but the next time you put Vaseline in Curly’s hair gel blame Chris not me. Deal?”

“Deal.”

Lance was brought back to the present by Justin’s undecipherable attempt at conversation.

“…Chrif, arf zuz nona zee fani?”

“Wah wah wah!” Chris said as he looked at Justin with a puzzled expression. He had a fork full of eggs poised in front of his mouth.

“Justin, don’t talk with your mouth full.”

Justin swallowed and rolled his eyes. “Yes, mom uh Lance.”

Lance grinned to himself as he filled his plate. Some days Justin acted like he was twelve. He wouldn’t have it any other way. If J were to change it might mean hell had finally frozen over.

“Now, Justin, what did you say?” Chris claimed Justin’s attention once more.

“Um, oh yeah, are you gonna –“

All conversation stopped as a strange sound was heard. Everyone turned their attention to the door and waited. The walls of Lance’s house were too thick to be able to hear exactly what he was singing but it was definitely loud and off key and coming closer. The first thing they saw was his arm. Then the rest of JC came through the doorway bobbing his head and doing the booty shake across the kitchen floor.

Lance all but forgot about the plate in his hand. He just stood there staring at JC. He really was a sight to behold. He had only a pair of boxers on. His hair was sleep mussed and his half-assed song was just stupid.

“Scoop-scoop-a-doop doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop. Ummmm….. Scoop-scoop-a-doop doop-a-doop-a-doop-a-doop.” Josh kept singing and dancing ignoring everyone in the room until he was right in front of Lance. He paused long enough to grab the plate out of Lance’s hand and kiss him on the cheek. Then he went back to singing his improv song as he headed out to the screened in porch.

The kitchen was filled with a heavy silence. The four other members of *NSYNC stared toward the door JC had just gone through.

“Umm, okaaaaay. JC has finally cracked.” Lance deadpanned. He looked at the others to see their reactions to Josh’s little mental vacation.

Chris turned to Joey, “Dude, you owe me fifty bucks!”

“Aw, shit. Damn you, JC!” Joey yelled in the direction JC had gone.

“What did you bet on this time?” Justin questioned.

Chris grinned at Justin. “Whether he’d lose it in a even or odd number year.”

“Man, couldn’t he have waited like two and a half months.” Joey sat mumbling to himself.

Lance just shook his head and fixed himself another plate. His cheek was still tingling from Josh’s kiss, and he wondered what had gotten into him. He took his plate over to the table and sat next to Justin.

“Hey, Scoop, is there something you want to tell us?” Justin looked at Lance and wagged his eyebrows suggestively.

“Like what, J?”

“Like why Josh is doing a very bad Salt-N-Pepa impersonation and substituting your name or maybe why he suddenly felt the need to kiss you.”

“Yeah, man! You and C hook up last night?” Chris had a shit-eating grin on his face as he leered at Lance.

Joey picked up where Chris left off. “Dude, you two should’ve told us you were gay and,” Joey gave an exaggerated sigh, “in love. We would’ve crashed at Justin’s house on this break instead of here. It must have been hard leaving your snuggle bunny this morning to cook us breakfast.” Joey leaned in close trying to act the confidant.

Lance just looked at the guys as his mouth fell open. He quickly snapped it shut. “Yeah, Joe, it was real hard. I mean JC and I fucked like bunnies last night. I’m surprised he could move at all today.” Lance looked at the shocked expressions on his friends’ faces before he broke out into laughter. “Hell, no, I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He was fine last night. But did you get a look at those boxers he had on?”

“I still can’t believe he had those made. Or that I got relegated to one of his ass cheeks.” Justin’s expression caused the other three to crack up.

Chris tried to talk through his laughter, “…At least…..you and Joey got a good body part.” More laughing. “I got stuck on his hip, and Lance got stuck on his crotch.”

“Well, being stuck on his crotch would be flattering if the waistband didn’t say *NSUCK. Kinda suggestive don’t you think. I don’t know whether to take it as a compliment or burn the damn things.” Lance had a perplexed expression on his face. “I’m still trying to figure out why he would want boxers with all our pictures on them.”

“Give it up, Scoop. We’ll never figure him out now that he’s totally flipped.”

Lance was dreaming. Well, sort of dreaming. He was in that twilight phase between wakefulness and sleep. He was seeing the events of this morning in his kitchen only they were slightly different. He was standing at the stove and JC came in and walked over to him. Not a word was spoken as JC took Lance’s face in his hands and leaned in for a kiss. The kiss was hungry. It was greedy. It was full of passion. It was turning him on.

Instead of Chris, Joey and Justin being there the room was empty. JC drug Lance over to the table and pushed him down onto the wooden surface. He crawled on top of him and started kissing him again. He ripped Lance’s t-shirt off and started kissing down his chest. When JC got to his navel he ran his tongue around it and slowly dipped it inside. Lance groaned. JC tugged at Lance’s sweats and gasped in delight when he saw Lance wasn’t wearing underwear. Lance watched JC lick his lips and lower his head. Oh, yes, he was almost there. He could feel JC’s warm breath on him. This was gonna be sweet.

“Lance. Hey, Lance! Umm….what’s JC doing?” Chris had hold of Lance’s arm and was shaking it.

Lance sleepily mumbled, “Huh?” He really did not want to leave his dream.

“Look over there. What is JC doing?”

Lance looked over to where Chris was pointing. He rubbed his eyes and took in the sight of his pool, Joey lying asleep in one of the chairs, Josh pretending to be a palm tree, Justin applying sunscreen. Lance did a double take. Josh was pretending to be a palm tree.

Lance looked at Chris who had a quizzical expression on his face. They shared a confused look and turned to watch JC stealthily make his way toward where Justin was sitting just down from them. He had a palm frond in front of him like he was hiding behind it. They watched as he peeked around and when he saw them staring at him he quickly hid his face behind the stalk. JC stopped when he got within a few feet of where Justin lay sunbathing. He sat the stalk down, but was still hiding behind it. He peeked around it to see if anyone was watching him. Lance and Chris looked at each other again. They were sharing the same thought. JC really has gone off the deep end. They turned back to the situation at hand when JC started talking.

“Psst! Justin! Psst!” JC saw Lance and Chris staring at him and quickly hid his face behind the stalk again.

“Josh?” Justin questioned as he saw his friend with a huge palm frond in front of him. He raised his sunglasses. “What are you doing?”

“Justin, just play along with me, okay. I need your help. And keep your voice down. I don’t want Lance and Chris to hear this.” Josh whispered back.

“Okay. Are you all right, Josh? You’ve been acting strange.”

“Yessss! It’s working! I’m fine, Justin. And, no, I am not insane. I have not forgotten where I put my brain. I am on a mission, and I need your help.” Josh looked at Justin with the most pleading expression he could muster. It was a wasted effort. Justin could barely see his face behind the palm stalk.

“And what would this mission be?”

“Helping me snag the man of my dreams.”

“Okay, snag the man of your………..MAN! JC!” Justin sat up quickly and hissed, “Are you gay?”

“Bi, but back to the plan. I need you to help me get Lance. I’m gonna-“

“You have the hots for Lance?” Justin tried to see Josh’s face around the palm stalk to see if he was just playing with him.

“Justin, keep your voice down!” JC looked at Justin’s incredulous expression and grinned. Some days it was all about shock value. “J, I need you to focus here.”

“Me, focus? Josh,” Justin grabbed the offending palm stalk and threw it to the side. He gripped Josh’s biceps and looked him in the eyes, “you’re telling me you’re bisexual, and you have a thing for Lance. Is that right?”

JC looked into his best friends eyes and grinned, “Yes, Justin that is what I’m saying. Now are you gonna help me or not?”

“Damn, Josh! Just drop a load on me.” Justin looked at JC patiently waiting for an answer. He let out a sigh. “You are so going to owe me for this.”

“Great!”

“So what’s this plan of yours, Oh Great Palm Tree?”

“I’m gonna drive Lance to the brink of insanity and then I’m gonna love him until a) I die or b) he kills me.”

“Well, that’s encouraging. So do you think he feels the same way about you? I mean he’s never really shown an interest in men.”

“If he doesn’t now, he will soon. After all, I am Joshua Scott Chasez, and I am irresistible.” Justin watched as Josh grabbed his palm stalk off the ground and held it in front of him like a mantle. He was acting like he was a great general of yesteryear. He had his head raised high and his chest puffed out. It made an incongruous picture since he only had on a pair of swim trunks and was red from being out in the sun too long.

Justin rolled his eyes. “More like Joshua Scott Chasez and loony as a toon.”

“Same difference.”

Lance and Chris watched the scene with interest. JC had to have done something strange for Justin to have nearly jumped out of his chair. Justin was now holding on to JC, and they appeared to be having an intense conversation.

“So, Scoop, what do you think is going on?”

“I have no idea, but I’m willing to bet we don’t want to know.” He smiled at the picture Josh made holding his palm stalk in front of him. The man was just irresistible. That’s all there was to it.

“Really? How much?”

Lance just looked at Chris and shook his head. “You need help.”

“No, C over there needs help.” Chris gestured to where Josh was doing the general impersonation. “If he straps on a cape and tries to act like Joey it’s off the loony bin with him. No arguments either, Scoop.”

Lance winced. “If it gets that bad I’ll drive him myself.”