Here is the next installment of my Trowa story. *scans story, squirms uncomfortably* I think it's pretty sappy. Let me know what you think...please?
"It was kind of you to take me to lunch," Dorothy said politely as they stepped out of the main doors of the hotel and into the street.
Trowa noticed that there was a note of suspicion dancing in her eyes. No wonder, he thought to himself. I wouldn't trust me, either, if I were her. He offered her his arm, which she took. The touch of her hand was warm against the crook of his elbow.
"So, where are we going this afternoon, Master Barton?" she queried.
"Call me Trowa. There's a little cafe not too far from where the circus is settled...It's one of Cathy's favorite places on this colony, and she recommended it."
"Ah. Your sister, I presume. She seemed like a nice person when I met her last night." Dorothy turned slightly so that one pale blue eye was fixed on him. "You seem quite different from her, though. I would have never guessed you were siblings."
"We didn't grow up together," Trowa replied simply.
"How interesting," Dorothy stated. It was obvious she wanted to know more, but Trowa was silent. They walked in silence for several blocks, until Dorothy managed to strike up another conversation about the weather on the colony. By the time they reached the cafe they had an animated discussion going, if one could consider Trowa's taciturn responses to Dorothy's probing questions animated.
"I see you have changed very little in the past five years, Miss Catalonia."
Dorothy froze, her hand on the door handle. "And just what do you mean by that?" she said sharply. Her expression hardened, and she was once again the hate-filled, war-loving Dorothy Catalonia he had known during the war.
Trowa merely smiled slightly and shook his head. "That's the problem with being involved in a war," he said quietly. "The fighting may be over, but you still see your enemies everywhere you look."
"All I did was ask you about your sister! I was just trying to make conversation! It's a fair question in most other circles. What else am I supposed to talk about?"
"I didn't say your question was a bad one, or inappropriate."
"Then why won't you answer?"
Trowa pondered this. "Perhaps it is because I know little about my past myself. Or perhaps it is a painful subject, and I don't want to talk about it. And it could be that I do know and I just don't feel like telling you."
Dorothy was silent for a moment, then squared her shoulders as if she had made a difficult decision. "Fine," she said softly, and turned away from the door. "I had a feeling this was a bad idea. I knew I shouldn't have come. I'll be on my way back to the hotel now." There was no mistaking the pain in her voice. She slowly stepped away from Trowa's side, and then grew bolder, walking faster.
"Dorothy."
She didn't know why, but she stopped and turned slowly, arms folded across her chest.
Trowa said nothing, just looked at her. Dorothy found herself staring into his green eyes, searching for...something. She wasn't sure what. She saw compassion, pity, and curiosity reflected there...no malice or hate. It was a change...even Miss Relena hadn't been able to completely eradicate the flickers of suspicion from her eyes when she talked to Dorothy. Heero didn't even try. And Quatre...she couldn't even meet his eyes. She was too ashamed of her past actions, and too disgusted by the fact that he did not bear her even the faintest hint of hatred for what she had done to him.
"I'm sorry, Dorothy," Trowa said softly. "It works that way for not just you. I've had a hard time losing the attitude of a soldier myself."
Dorothy just stood there, puzzled. Part of her wanted to slap Trowa, to hate him for even considering that war was a mistake, to turn away and run and forget all about him. But something else deep inside her, a hidden facet that she had rarely explored longed to run to him, to lose herself in his arms.
She drew a shaky sigh. What was happening to her? "I--it's okay, Trowa. I'm as much at fault as you." She slowly walked back over to him. Trowa took her hand, his fingers warm and strong around hers. Her chest tightened at the touch.
He looked at the cafe. "I'm not really all that hungry," he said, "are you?" Dorothy shook her head. "Shall we walk instead?"
The artificial sun was dimming, bathing the gentle curve of the colony's promenade a soft, dusky pink when Trowa and Dorothy reluctantly parted ways.
"I have to go," Trowa said softly. "I have a performance in a little while."
Dorothy nodded, understanding.
"Can I see you tomorrow?" he asked. Wait, he thought, what am I saying? But as quickly as the protest had formed in his mind it was gone, crushed by a greater need and desire to spend more time with Dorothy.
"I would like that," she said.
He led her to the entrance of her hotel. "Then I shall see you tomorrow," he murmured as he leaned forward, brushing her cheek gently with his lips. He turned slowly and headed back toward the circus, hands in his pockets.
Dorothy stood and watched him until he was gone, one hand gently resting on the cheek he had kissed. She had never felt this way before...it was like the whole world had enveloped her in a giant hug. For the first time since she was a young girl, she smiled out of sheer happiness. Humming softly, she hurried over to the elevators and headed up to her room.
"Where were you this afternoon? The Manager was looking all over for you! Are you ever gonna get it after the show!" Catherine paced back and forth backstage. Their act was about to begin.
"I was busy."
"You were busy. Well, isn't that nice. In the meantime, there are chores here to be done, and everyone else had to absorb those that you were supposed to do! Trowa, what's going on? You aren't usually this irresponsible!"
"I'm sorry, Cathy. I'll make it up to you some other time."
Catherine stopped suddenly, then turned slowly and looked at him. "Why, Trowa!" she exclaimed, "you're never usually this nice when I'm getting mad at you about something!" Her eyes glittered. "Who is she?"
Trowa gave her a measured look as best he could around the half-mask hiding his face. The one good thing about being late for today's show, he thought, was that there wasn't enough time to put on that blasted grease paint. "I don't see how you can assume that I'm late because of a girl," he said carefully.
"Aha! I knew it! Who is she, who is she? Come on, tell me!" Catherine danced around Trowa gleefully. "After all this time, my little brother has a girlfriend! I'm so proud of you! When can I meet her?"
Trowa sighed and shook his head. If there was one thing he had learned from the war, and from working and living with Catherine, it was when to accept defeat. "You've already met her," he said.
Catherine giggled gleefully. "Ha! Guess I know you better than you thought I did, don't I, little brother? Wait until I tell the others! You're not all that difficult to figure out after all!" Then she stopped. "I've already met her? Is she one of my friends?"
"No."
"Not one of my friends? Trowa, it isn't someone from the circus, is it?"
"No."
"She's not? Then who is she? Trowa, we've only been here three days. You couldn't have possibly met someone that fast!"
"I told you, you've already met her."
Catherine glared at him. "I give up. Come on, you have to tell me!"
"Catherine! Trowa! You're up!"
"I guess you'll never know who it is now, sister."
Catherine narrowed her eyes as she gathered up her throwing knives. "You're not weaseling your way out of this that easily. I want to talk to you after the show!"
"We'll see," Trowa said evenly. "I seem to recall you saying something about me 'getting it'. I can't talk to you if I'm too busy getting in trouble, can I?"
"Arrrgh! You are impossible!" Catherine pouted, then put on her best show smile and strode out into the ring.
"Okay. I've been far more patient than a lesser woman would have been in the same situation. You have to tell me who she is or I'm really going to get mad!"
"But why spoil the fun? I so rarely get to see you in such an antagonized state."
"Trowa!"
Trowa chuckled lightly, a rare display. "All right. I've tortured you long enough. I think I've paid you back for all the misery you've put me through in the name of romance."
Catherine opened her mouth to protest, but he held up a hand to silence her. "Now Cathy...mind your words. Say the wrong thing and I may decide not to tell you who it is after all."
Catherine bit back her retort and glared at him. "Well?"
Trowa sighed and sat down on a chair facing where Catherine sat on the couch. "I was out with Dorothy this afternoon."
"Dorothy?" squeaked Catherine. "That girl that Quatre brought over last night?" Her eyes narrowed. "Why?"
"Because Quatre asked me to, that's why. I figured it was a reasonable enough request."
"Oh, good. You took her out because Quatre asked you to do it. That means it was a one-time deal, and now the obligation is over, right?"
"Perhaps. Maybe I've decided not to see her again. Or maybe I enjoyed our date, and would like to see her again."
Catherine made a moue, as if smelling something sour. "Dorothy..." she muttered.
Trowa frowned slightly. "You disapprove."
Catherine stood up in one fluid motion and started pacing. "It's not that I disapprove, Trowa, but...oh, what the heck. Yes, I do disapprove."
"Why? It seemed like you two hit it off rather well last night."
"Well, she seemed like a nice enough person, but..."
"But what?"
"But she's...well, I have my reasons!" she said, flustered.
"And those are...?"
Catherine scowled. "I don't have to tell you everything, Trowa!"
"Why not? You always seem to want to know a lot about me."
"Because!" She glared at him in frustration. "Because she...she was...and the war...and you...you told me she tried to destroy all the Gundams! With you pilots inside them at the time!" she said, gesticulating wildly to try and convey what words failed to express.
"That was then. This is now. Times change people, sometimes for the better."
"And Quatre! Isn't she the one--you told me about it yesterday! She stabbed him! She tried to kill him! Hell, she tried to kill all of you! Are you completely insane?"
"Explain why you see this as lunacy."
"Because I don't believe that she's changed, from what you've told me!" she blurted. "If she was that obsessed with war, and you told me that she was nuts--" Trowa narrowed his eyes. "Well, not quite sane," Catherine hastily amended, "why should anything have changed since then?"
"On the contrary, I believe a great deal has changed since then. Besides, what happened during the war is in the past. I'm not the same person that I was back then, and I don't believe she is, either."
Catherine stared at him as if brandishing a secret weapon. "Then why do you still have nightmares about the war?"
Trowa was silent for a moment, pondering his response. "Just because I dream about it doesn't mean I dwell in the past. Since we're on the subject of pasts, why do you still act like I'm going to leave again every time Quatre--or any of the other Gundam pilots, for that matter- make an appearance?"
Catherine visibly reeled back as if struck. "I...I don't--Trowa, I don't act like...like you're going to leave again...do I?"
Trowa closed his eyes slowly, then looked at her. "Sometimes," he said softly.
Catherine was silent.
"I can take care of myself, Cathy. I appreciate your concerns, but I've never needed someone to watch over me."
Catherine shook her head as if to clear her mind.
"I'm sorry, Cathy. I know it's hard to hear--"
Catherine looked up suddenly, her eyes bright. "No," she stopped him, "don't say it. I've known it for a long time. Maybe I've just chosen to ignore it because--"
"You don't have to tell me why. I know why."
"Yes, I do have to tell you!" she snapped. "If I don't tell you now, I never will, and it will be lost. And you will be lost. I've chosen to ignore it because I lost you twice...once when we were little, and I didn't even know I had a brother, and again when we were older, and I was just beginning to realize who you were." She stopped, and drew a shaky breath.
Trowa stood up to her and wrapped his arms around her. She leaned her head on his shoulder and wept. "I almost lost you twice," she sobbed. "I don't want to lose you again without you knowing how much I love you, little brother."
Trowa rocked her gently. "Cathy," he murmured, "I know you love me. And you will always be my sister. But I need you to be my sister, not my mother."
She pulled away from him, her face streaked with tears. "I know...drat it, I know. But it's just so hard sometimes..."
"I understand your concerns," he said, "but I can take care of myself. I did it for years before you knew me--I can do it for a little while longer, until I learn to take care of myself to your approval, or until you get impatient and find a wife for me."
Catherine laughed shakily. "I guess you're right," she said finally. "It's just that--well, I see the other Gundam pilots, or meet someone from the war days, and all I can think about is how they could take you away from me again someday."
"Cathy...just remember this. We may be separated physically some day, but we will always be together in heart and spirit." He handed her a tissue.
She took it and dabbed at her eyes. "I guess you're right," she said reluctantly.
He led her to the door of his trailer. "It's been a long day for you," he said quietly. "You'd better go get some rest." Catherine nodded and disappeared into the darkness, heading for her trailer.
Trowa watched until he knew she was safely inside her own trailer, then turned away from the door. He sat down on the couch, lost in thought. He and Catherine had had countless arguments in the short time they had known each other--he supposed it was part of being siblings. Quatre had mentioned once that he and his sisters got into spats all the time, and if Quatre could get mad enough to fight with his sisters, Trowa decided it was fairly normal for everyone else. It had never caused him pause before now.
But he had never driven Catherine to tears before, and she had never really expressed to him in words her real fears behind the people from his past, even though he knew why she feared them. He chewed thoughtfully on a thumbnail. What had brought about this change--was it Dorothy? And if it was, why had she caused this change?
He sat in silence, thinking, until exhaustion claimed him, and he slumped gently down onto the couch to fall asleep.
"So, how was your afternoon yesterday? Apparently your lunch with Trowa Barton went well." Relena folded a blouse carefully, and placed in a dresser drawer. She turned at looked at Dorothy, who was sitting in a chair in Relena's hotel room. "Heero and I looked for you before we went to dinner, but we had reservations, and...well, you know how Heero is about punctuality."
Dorothy chuckled. "That's quite all right, Miss Relena. I would have felt bad if I knew I caused you to lose your dinner reservations. I did just fine by myself." She smoothed the skirt of her dress, and examined her hands.
Relena looked at Dorothy curiously. "Did you have a good time?" Dorothy didn't answer. She was still examining her hands, and humming softly. Relena cleared her throat gently.
"Hmm?" said Dorothy absently. "Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Relena. I guess I'm just lost in my own thoughts this morning."
"That's quite all right, Dorothy," said Relena warmly. "I simply asked you if you had a good time yesterday with Trowa."
"Oh. Well..." she thought about it for a moment. If she didn't count the initial coolness and their spat outside the cafe... "Yes. Yes, I did have a good time."
"That's good. I know Quatre was quite concerned that you wouldn't enjoy yourself."
Dorothy's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?" she asked cautiously.
Relena turned to her, surprised. "Well, I guess he asked Trowa if he would take you out while you were here. I think he feels that you'll be left behind, and be lonely all by yourself all day while Heero and I are in conferences." She frowned. "Didn't Trowa mention that?"
"No, he did not! I assumed that the lunch date was his idea!" Dorothy replied hotly.
Relena cursed herself inwardly for not having more tact. She smiled gently. "Dorothy, don't get upset. I don't know Trowa all that well, but I do know that Trowa doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do. He wouldn't have taken you out yesterday if he had any doubts about it whatsoever."
Dorothy relaxed somewhat, mollified. "He didn't act like he was escorting me out of goodwill," she said hesitantly.
Relena smiled encouragingly. "You see? I knew it wasn't just because Quatre asked him to do it!"
"He wants to see me again this afternoon."
"That's a good sign. Besides, I'm sure that spending time with Trowa will be a lot more entertaining than sitting around the hotel all day. And I'm sure it will be a great deal more exciting than spending the whole day discussing peace with the colony officials!" Relena made a face, and Dorothy laughed.
"Oh, Miss Relena...you don't mean that, do you?"
"Of course not. You know me better than that, don't you?" The two girls giggled. "But I am curious," said Relena, and her voice dropped to a near whisper, "isn't Trowa kind of...quiet?"
Dorothy looked at her. "Well, he was, at first. But after we...after the ice was broken," she chuckled inwardly to herself, "he opened up. He's actually kind of talkative, once he lets down his defenses."
"Really," said Relena. "That's interesting. Catherine complains that she can't get him to say more than six words consecutively sometimes." She smoothed near-invisible wrinkles out of a skirt, and hung it carefully in the closet.
Dorothy was quiet. When Relena turned back to her suitcase, Dorothy had clasped her hands together and was kneading them nervously, as if working up the courage to ask a difficult question.
"Dorothy...what's wrong? Is everything all right?"
Dorothy looked up. Her eyes were bright. "Miss Relena...with Heero...how did you know...when were you certain that you loved him?"
Relena sighed gently, and sat down on the bed, facing Dorothy. "Heero? I think I always knew, in my heart. I think he knew, too. There just came a day when I realized that I couldn't imagine my life without him nearby, and I realized how much I cared for him." She looked at Dorothy curiously. "Why do you ask?"
Dorothy kneaded her hands more tightly, then looked at Relena. "I...I don't know," she confessed. "I've never really loved anyone, not even my parents, I don't think. So I don't know what love is like."
Relena chuckled lightly. "Dorothy, the love you have for your parents and the love you have for--well, for instance, the love Heero and I have for each other--are two very different things. It really isn't right to compare them." She frowned slightly. "This isn't about Trowa, is it?"
"Oh, Relena!" Dorothy cried. "I wish I knew! I'm just so confused. I don't know what to make of any of this!"
Poor Dorothy, thought Relena, she needs a little more time to straighten out her emotions. "No one ever said love was easy, or simple to understand," she said gently. Then, in a lighter tone, quipped, "You remember what I told you about when I first met Heero? How I acted? That wasn't very rational, was it?" Dorothy chuckled tentatively. Relena continued, encouraged. "And remember what I told you about Heero? How he acted? He wasn't much better!"
Dorothy laughed, a small sound, and sighed. "What am I going to do, Miss Relena?"
"The person who should really be answering that question is you, Dorothy," Relena said gently, "but the best advice I can give you is to listen to what your heart tells you. Don't rely on what you feel here," she pointed at her head, "to make all your decisions for you. Sometimes, it takes more than that. If you go by what you feel here," she tapped her chest, "you won't go wrong. Just follow your emotions."
Dorothy dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief. "You've been spending too much time with Heero," she teased.
"If that's the only thing I take away from my relationship with Heero, then it wasn't a waste of time," Relena averred. "I can't say Heero's decisions are always wise, or even well-planned sometimes, but he's taught me to live by my emotions. I cannot fault him in that." She stood up. "I wish I could spend more time talking to you about this, but I am going to be late for the morning's first meeting," she said ruefully.
As if to emphasize her words, there was a quiet knock on the door adjoining the rooms. "That would be Heero," she said, then turned to Dorothy. "Are you going to be all right, Dorothy?"
Dorothy sat up a little straighter, and squared her jaw. "Yes," she said firmly, "I think I shall. You've given me some very good advice, Miss Relena. Thank you." With that, Dorothy stood up and walked out the door into the hallway.
Relena watched her go, then opened the adjoining door slowly. Heero stood there, dressed in his uniform and prepared to face another day as Relena's personal bodyguard. "What is it?" asked Heero, seeing the troubled look on her face.
Relena started, then smiled at Heero. "It's nothing," she said lightly. "Not a problem to worry about. Shall we go?" she finished, and raised her hand to take Heero's arm.