Disclaimers: I do not own Gundam Wing but I lay claim to this story. Also I do not own the songs I will include with it.
Author's notes: This is not connected to my other 1x9 fiction 'A Shoulder to Cry on'; this will be longer and have a sequel as well with the same pairing. I also will remind everyone that there is a 4-year age difference between Heero and Noin and I don't understand why people think age matters so much, love knows no boundaries. In Leaving Behind I will include a few songs in it.
A.C. 197
Lucrezia Noin wept bitterly as she sat in her new apartment, she couldn't take anymore how long has she built her life around this man, built around Zechs, chasing his dreams forgetting her own and it was over two weeks ago she left him because she just couldn't take anymore.
Lucrezia tried so hard to make their relationship work even after working a year on the terraforming project on Mars and rejoining the Preventers, but she never really got anything back from him, he either didn't want or couldn't settle down in the end he was practically ignoring her but the last straw came when he saw him in bed with another woman. That was it, it was all over I had enough, I left him and I have wasted enough of my life on him. The fucking bastard! All she could feel for him now was anger and hate.
She wiped her tears away she resolved she was going to start all over, it had been six months since she rejoined the Preventers, she was determined to find her own dreams again and she was NOT going to return to Zechs, ever again but tomorrow is going to be another mission.
Heero Yuy sat in his office thinking about how he saw Noin when she returned from Mars, she never forgot the look on her eyes and it really hurt him deeply to see her suffer. He tries to figure out why and wonders if Duo is finally starting to rub off on him, they have worked together before they even joined the Preventers and they often do work together now.
Although Duo can be annoying but he is a very capable and very loyal ally, but when they first met it took a little time for him to call Duo 'friend'. But Duo was now working with Wufei and Sally on another mission.
Why doesn't she accept this? Heero thought with a snort never had feelings for Relena despite her incessant attempts to pursue him, besides she was more in love with an ideal of him rather then the actual person. Relena STILL pursues him; he is just not interested and wishes she would leave him alone.
On the other hand he was much more interested in Noin...
Shaking his head, Heero looked at his watch, got up and headed to Lady Une's office he was about to be sent on another mission, with a temporary partner.
Heero nodded his understanding as Une went through the mission and nodded his understanding.
"You will be assigned a temporary partner for your mission. I've already called her in, meet your temporary partner."
Heero turned around and saw Noin.
"Heero Yuy, it's been a while."
"Yes."
After they had both finished at work, they walked together down the street from where Preventer's headquarters was.
Lucrezia took notice of Heero he had definitely grown up much, he was an extremely attractive young man when they had first but now he had definitely filled out. He now stood a few inches over her 5'9, his body was muscular but not too much so, his face had not changed much since they met, he moved with the same grace she remembered and his eyes had that same depth to them.
"So, Heero how have you been?" asked Noin.
"I've been fine." Heero replied.
"So how is Relena?"
"Fine, last I saw of her which was not that recently." Heero's eyes narrowed slightly.
Lucrezia's eyes widened and Heero continued "Regardless of what Relena may have told you, I do not have feelings for her, I never loved her and I spared at first out of pity and then out of practicality. Besides she is in love with an ideal of me, not the real human being Heero Yuy. Relena saw me as an ideal, he came along when her life was being torn apart, and I was a pillar of strength that she wanted to draw from. I think for her, she has simply mistaken her admiration for something more."
Lucrezia's nodded her understanding. Was I in love with Zechs? Or an ideal of him? Zechs Marquise/Milliardo Peacecraft she thought was her truest love, now that just wasn't true anymore, she needed to start over and she is beginning to see the world through different eyes.
Lucrezia believed she might have gotten a glimpse of Heero the man, not Heero the perfect soldier.
Heero then looked at Lucrezia, noticed the pain in her eyes, Heero had already heard about their break up and knew some of what their relationship was like.
"Is something the matter?" Heero asked genuine concern in his usual monotone and wondering if Duo was rubbing off on him.
This snapped Lucrezia out of her reverie. "What?"
"Thinking about something? Zechs?" asked Heero asked with the same level of concern, hoping he was not being intrusive, a lot of his friends and he were furious at the manner in which Zechs had treated Noin.
A single tear fell from Lucrezia's eye.
"I'm sorry, I did not mean to be so intrusive." Heero wiped away the tear gently with his finger.
Heero then sat her on a nearby bench "No it's not that, it's just that at the academy I met Zechs Merquise, when I first met him I was taken aback by him, eventually I..." Her voice broke into sobs "...I...discovered....that...I...loved him....For years...I loved...him...more...then life...itself...For years...I forgot...my dreams...I kept following his...All I ever...wanted...was to be...something to him...But what was I to him another conquest?"
Lucrezia's sobs became louder and her hands clenched into fists "To think I kept placing everything before him! I was such an idiot!"
Heero put his arms around her, pulling her into a gentle embrace. "You shouldn't say that, you loved him..." he soothed.
"I don' know if it was love anymore...I...I..." Lucrezia then burst into tears crying into Heero's shoulder. After her tears subsided, Heero gently lifted her chin up with his finger.
"Listen to me, it's not too late, you're a strong intelligent woman and that was the impression right way when we first met and you have taken me aback. Remember that picture of all of us, after the battle against White Fang?"
Lucrezia nodded and Heero continued, "I look at it and I am reminded I have good friends, because that's what I learned from Duo and the others. You are not alone, we were all angry at the way Zechs had treated you."
"Thanks Heero." Lucrezia smiled. This is different from the Heero I met. But then did I really know the real Heero back then? She thought realising what lay beneath the rigid exterior.
Heero returned the smile.
Heero walked Lucrezia home to her apartment.
"Are you all right?" asked Heero.
"Yes. Thank you Heero." Replied Lucrezia "It's just I built my life around Zechs for so long, that it's going to take me some to adjust to life without him. I'm just sick of it all with him, I'm going to start over and I'm not going back to him, that's for sure!"
"All right, our mission is tomorrow so..." Heero said as he smiled in silent relief
Noin simply nodded and as Heero turned to leave.
"Noin-"
"Heero, my name is Lucrezia."
"See you tomorrow Lucrezia." Heero smiled again and then he left
Lucrezia got into bed with a smile on her face. She knows their relationship has to remain professional on the mission but...still...she went to sleep her thoughts were of Heero Yuy.
Author's Notes: This is my stance on the Zechs/Noin pairing, if it came to a relationship it would be very unhealthy, Zechs is too emotionally closed to feel anything real and Noin is too devoted to him, it would have been a give, give, give and a take, take, take relationship with Noin doing the giving and Zechs doing the taking. Eventually it will reach a point where Noin will have had enough, leave Zechs forever and would be well justified.
I was never convinced that Heero had feelings for Relena all those times he could not bring himself to kill her, I mean I can't bring myself to kill someone but does not mean I am in love with that person. At that conference after Relena became Queen of the World he was all set to kill but the applause was what disarmed him.
Feedback is always welcome: e-mail me at j.m.ellis@talk21.com