The next day dawned bright, the perfect day for forgetting the transgressions of the previous day...but Treize wasn't taking any chances. Before setting out for the day, he stopped the group.
"Duo, will you step forward, please?" he asked. Duo did so, his eyes flickering suspicion. Treize nodded. "I'm afraid you've proven to us that you cannot be trusted, even in times of peace," he began. "Therefore, in order to make sure this journey continues smoothly, I am going to take all necessary precautions. Lady?"
Lady Une stepped forward, her expression brooking no argument. "All right. Assume the position."
Duo looked incredulous. "What???"
For the most part, the other travelers hid their mirth at Duo's predicament quite well. Noin hid a smile behind her hand, and Quatre averted his eyes to keep from bursting into laughter. Heero stared at Duo dispassionately. The others watched silently.
Except for Wufei.
Wufei's pride was still bruised from Duo's prank of the previous day. He watched the proceedings with glee, not making an attempt to hide his gloating over the treatment Duo was receiving.
Lady Une's eyes narrowed slightly. "We are going to frisk you, Mr. Maxwell, to make certain that you don't have any more 'surprises' in stock for us. Now, I grow weary of waiting. Are you going to cooperate, or do we have to do this the hard way?"
For a moment, it looked as though Duo might resist. But he finally turned toward the van, grumbling angrily, and placed his hands above his head, palms resting on the side of the van.
Une began patting at his clothing methodically and efficiently. She quickly removed the bottle of epoxy from the previous day, as well as a string of firecrackers, a book of matches, a handful of rubber bands, a pack of gum--"Hey!" Duo shouted. "That's my gum! What's wrong with the gum?" Une fixed him with a calculating stare. "You will get your gum back, after the examination, if you behave." Duo grumbled more loudly, but remained otherwise taciturn. Une continued her search, carefully checking the legs of his pants, up to his back pockets, and around to his--
"H-h-hey!" Duo said, his voice strained. "Just what do you hope to find there?"
Une smirked. "Do you have something to hide, Mr. Maxwell?"
Duo didn't back down this time. "C'mon! This isn't fair! Treize! I haven't been that bad!"
Wufei could no longer resist. "You're getting everything you deserve, Maxwell! Why don't you act like a man, and face up to the consequences?"
Duo glared at Wufei as best he could over his shoulder. "Can it, Wufei!" he snapped.
Wufei flushed. "What did you say? Did you just tell me to--"
Une cut him off. "Mr. Chang, I suggest you quiet down, or you will be receiving a similar treatment," she threatened, and glanced at Treize for confirmation. Wufei immediately backed down, muttering under his breath.
Treize sighed. "That's all right, Lady. I think we've proved our point. Mr. Maxwell? I trust you now understand what you stand to gain every day, should you insist on continuing your hijinks."
Duo didn't say anything coherent. He just muttered and grumbled under his breath.
"What was that, Mr. Maxwell? I'm afraid I didn't understand-"
"I said, fine, fine! No more pranks. It's not worth it..."
Treize smiled with contentment. "Good. I'm glad we've reached an agreement. Lady, he can have the gum. The rest I want to hang on to myself, for safekeeping, until we return home." Lady Une saluted, and gathered up the questionable possessions she'd found on Duo's person. Everyone else got themselves settled in the van, and the road trip resumed for the day.
For the most part, the day's journey progressed uneventfully. But it was a false sense of calm, at best. Everyone could feel the tension rising between Duo and Wufei.
Perhaps it was the comments. Both of the youths had been sniping at each other all day, though there was more venom behind Wufei's comments than usual, and Duo, for a change, only snapped back when provoked.
Soon, the discontent had spread to the other members of the traveling party. Everyone was tense. Treize glanced at the clock, and sighed. He had hoped to travel a bit longer before stopping for dinner, but he also wanted to head off a conflict, if possible. Unfortunately....
"Lady, do you see any suitable establishments where we could stop to eat?"
Une scanned the area. "Mr. Treize, it appears that the only place around..." She pointed out of the front window at a nondescript building. "...is over there."
Treize followed her gaze, and raised his eyebrows. "Are you sure, Lady?"
Une gave a most unladylike snort. "Under normal circumstances, of course not, Your Excellency. However, considering the motley bunch we've got gathered here, I would say that this location would be better than most."
Treize nodded at her logic. "Right again, my Lady," he said. Une blushed at the praise. Treize smiled indulgently, and turned off of the road, and into the parking lot.
Duo looked up, surprised. "We're stopping? Why?"
Treize scanned the lot for a parking space. "We're stopping for dinner, Mr. Maxwell," he said.
Duo glanced at his watch. "Already?"
Heero snorted. "I find it hard to believe you're passing up an opportunity to eat."
Duo grinned at Heero. "Who said I was passing up the opportunity? I'm just surprised we're stopping so soon, that's all."
Quatre peered out the window at the building as the van pulled to a halt. "We're stopping at a cafeteria?" he queried.
Lady Une turned to regard him. "Considering this crew, I'd say that this cafeteria is an excellent idea, wouldn't you, Mr. Winner?"
Quatre looked at her, stung, but only shook his head in response. Une nodded slightly.
Everyone piled out of the van, and stared at the building. "Well, it will certainly be a change of scenery," noted Noin.
"Aw, come on. Where's your sense of adventure? I eat at these kind of places all the time!" said Duo cheerfully.
"Somehow, I don't find that reassuring, Maxwell." Zechs' arms were folded across his chest as he stared at the building.
Duo rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine, be suspicious. It's just a cafeteria."
Wufei stared at Duo challengingly. "I am not going to take your word that this place is refutable, Maxwell!"
Duo turned to face Wufei. "I didn't ask for your approval, Dragon-Butt," he snapped back.
Treize stepped in to head off the carnage. "Though I am reluctant to take sides, I must concur with Mr. Maxwell. Really, I am certain this establishment is perfectly fine." He smiled encouragingly. "Now, shall we continue?" He turned and started walking toward the building.
The others watched him for a moment, then one by one, began to follow. Wufei muttered something under his breath, but followed the group anyway.
As it turned out, Duo's reassurances were well-founded. Once inside, the cafeteria seemed perfectly normal.
Duo rolled his eyes. "What did you expect? Dead bodies on the table?"
"Just wait...we haven't been here long enough," muttered Zechs.
Duo grinned, and slapped Zechs on the back. "I like you, man. So optimistic."
Treize returned, tickets in hand. "I've taken the liberty to pay for our meals," he said. "We're having the dinner buffet. That way, there should be something for everyone to enjoy." He turned and started walking into the restaurant. The others followed.
For the most part, things seemed to go fairly smoothly. Almost everyone, though a bit suspicious of the buffet fare at first, soon found things they were willing to try. Duo, of course, had no such reservations. He was thoroughly pleased that Treize had decided to stop at a cafeteria with a buffet.
Duo returned from his second trip through the buffet line, his plate laden with food. Wufei looked up at him in irritation, fork dangling loosely over his plate. Wufei had hardly touched his food.
Duo noticed this. "Aw, come on, Wufei. You are too damn picky for your own good, you know that? Why don't you live a little and try something new for a change? I've tried Chinese food."
Wufei snorted in derision. "Maxwell, that...stuff you call Chinese food is nothing more than Americanized pablum masquerading as Chinese food! You have no idea what good food is." He stabbed desultorily at some Jell-O salad on his plate to emphasize his point. "I look at this, what you call food. This is food??? In what sense of the word?"
Duo sat down, and immediately proceeded to shovel his own food into his mouth. "Mmmph hmmph mmph," he commented. Wufei raised his eyebrows.
"Care to repeat that? Maybe so that others can understand?"
Duo swallowed, and shook his head. "I said, it's good food. You're just too damn picky."
Wufei glared at Duo. "I am not too picky, Maxwell! I just happen to be able to tell the difference between real food and this mockery!"
Duo rolled his eyes. "Sure, Woofie, whatever you say. All you ever do is complain. The food's bad, the van's too hot, this song sucks--change the radio station, I'm not sitting next to Maxwell, will you idiots just shut UP...sheesh! Lighten up, man! I tell you, it would do a world of good, if you'd just loosen up a bit."
Quatre decided that this was the best time to join in the conversation. "Duo's got a very good point, Wufei," he said encouragingly. "If you just lightened up a little bit, I think you'd find people will want to be around you much more than they do now."
Wufei swiveled in his seat to glare at Quatre. "And just when did this become an open discussion?"
Quatre flushed, but held his ground. "You see? It's reactions like that one that make people not want to spend much time around you."
Wufei glared. "Well maybe I act this way to keep certain people away, Winner! Did you ever consider that?"
Duo jumped back in. "Hey man, leave him alone. He makes a very good point. You've gotta lighten up. Or at least change that damn corncob more than once a year!"
Wufei turned purple. "WHAT??!?!"
The argument had finally attracted the attentions of the other members of the traveling party. Une glared at the two who had started it. "Shall I do something about this, sir?" she asked Treize.
Treize shook his head. "They're not damaging anything yet, Lady. And I must admit that Mr. Maxwell and Mr. Winner are both making excellent points. Perhaps some of it will sink in."
Une snorted with derision, and shook her head. "I wish I had your optimism, sir."
Back at the table, Duo was smirking at Wufei. "You heard me, man. You are too uptight. A lot of us have been wondering about just what kind of--"
"SILENCE!!" Wufei shouted. He balled his fists, still clutching the fork in one hand, and pounded the table angrily.
Duo smirked. He knew just how to get a rise out of Wufei. "Aw, come on, Wuffie. You know I'm right." He grinned slyly. "You wouldn't be getting so worked up if what I said wasn't true."
That did it. "Maxwell, you will pay! And stop calling me Wuffie!" Wufei glanced around for a weapon. For whatever reason, he decided not to use his sword. His eyes fell to his plate. He grinned.
Wufei scooped up a forkful of the offending Jell-O salad, and launched it at Duo. But Duo was too fast. He ducked, and the flying Jell-O bypassed his head and sailed over his shoulder, toward the other members of the party sitting at a different table behind them.
The Jell-O missed its intended target. It struck Heero on the back of the head instead.
Heero turned around slowly. Duo was pointing at Wufei, who was still holding his fork in a 'catapult' position. Wufei was too shocked to move or deny anything. Heero's eyes narrowed.
Faster than the eye could track, Heero had whipped a dinner roll at Wufei. It bounced off the young man's forehead and landed on the table. Wufei's eyes narrowed.
"This...means...WAR!"
Dorothy was watching the table where Duo and Wufei were sitting with interest. Relena finally craned her neck to look as well.
"What's going on over there?" Relena asked curiously.
Dorothy bit down on a forkful of pasta, chewing thoughtfully. "I'm not sure," she said. "It looks like Duo and Wufei are having quite the conversation, though." She swallowed, and reached for her water glass. Relena shook her head in disgust.
"I don't know what's worse. The fact that Wufei has such a hair-trigger when it comes to his temper, or that Duo has made it his life's goal to constantly see how far he can push Wufei until he snaps," she commented.
Dorothy snickered. "I happen to find it quite impressive that Wufei hasn't killed Duo by now."
Wufei chose that moment to let the Jell-O salad fly. Relena's eyes widened. "Did you see that?" she hissed.
Dorothy nodded. "I did. I wonder what Duo said this time-- uh oh..." Her voice trailed off as she saw the Jell-O miss its mark and hit Heero instead. Relena had seen this as well.
"Now they are in trouble," she murmured, then shook her head. "Regardless, I am not getting involved." She turned resolutely to face her plate once more. "I think it's a silly, childish display, and I for one will not be a part of such a--"
Something cold and wet struck her in the back of the head. Dorothy gasped, too late to voice a warning. Relena reached up, touching the food that still clung to her hair, and pulled her hand away. It was macaroni salad.
Relena slammed her hands down on the table, palms first. "That does it," she snarled, her voice sharp with anger. "No one messes with my hair and gets away with it!" She grabbed her tray and turned to face the battle, flinging whatever she could find at the other tables.
Dorothy clapped her hands in admiration. "I'll go get you some more ammunition, Miss Relena!" she said, jumping up and grabbing her tray, heading for the buffet.
Quatre's eyes had widened as he realized what Wufei was doing. He sat there, stone-still, as the Jell-O hit Heero. He watched silently as Heero joined in the fight.
He looked at Trowa. Trowa looked back calmly. They both turned back to the fray, which Relena and Dorothy had also joined. Quatre smiled slightly.
"Normally I wouldn't get involved in fighting if I could help it," he said quietly, "but..." His smile widened, and started flinging buffet items toward the other tables.
Trowa smirked, and also joined in the fray.
Zechs returned to Treize and Une's table, and sat down next to Noin. "Don't look now, Treize," he said casually, "but I felt you should know why we're about to get kicked out." He gestured to the tables where the other passengers sat.
Treize smiled. "I'm certain that it is no cause for concern," he said smoothly.
At that moment, a bowl of pudding sailed over his head, and crashed into the wall, leaving a chocolate-colored stain behind. Treize's eyes widened, and he turned around.
"Oh, no, no," he moaned at the sight that greeted him.
Though the fight had started out involving only Duo, Wufei, and Heero, it had escalated to include everyone sitting at those three tables, including Dorothy and Relena. Even Quatre had joined in the fracas. The floors and walls were spattered with food, and the seven youths were covered in buffet fare.
Zechs snorted derisively at the stricken expression on Treize's face. "Personally, sir, I think you should let those fools deal with the consequences themselves," he said. Noin shook her head.
"I hate to say it, Zechs, but we're involved, whether we want to be or not. The management is going to blame us for not keeping a closer eye on those kids."
Treize sighed in defeat. "I'm afraid Miss Noin is right," he said. "We'd better do something about this."
Une grabbed his arm, restraining Treize. "With all due respect, Mr. Treize, I think we should let the children accept the responsibility for their own actions, and not try to take care of things for them," she said, nodding toward their tables.
"Besides," said Noin, "look at them. They're all laughing. Maybe this will ease up some of the tensions between them."
Indeed, the five pilots and the two girls were all laughing, even Wufei. The fight had turned from a serious clash to a game. Treize smiled slightly, some of his anxiousness draining away.
However, not all present were as willing to join in the happiness as the pilots and their traveling companions.
Duo had finally run out of ammunition, but it didn't matter. He was laughing too hard to throw anything, anyway. He turned to Wufei, who was also having a hard time controlling his laughter.
"You see? If you'd just relax and lighten up a little, you'd have more fun!" he said, slapping Wufei on the back. Wufei tried to scowl, but only laughed harder.
"Maxwell, you should see yourself. There is more food on you than is in the..." He was cut off by someone clearing their throat behind him. Both Duo and Wufei turned.
It was the manager of the cafeteria. It was clear from the expression on his face that he was neither pleased with the activities of the group, nor was he having an easy time controlling his anger.
Duo sobered immediately, and glanced around the dining room.
The walls, floors and tables were spattered with food. There was even food stuck to the ceiling. Silverware and plates were everywhere. Miraculously, nothing had been broken. The other patrons of the dining room were openly staring at the members of the traveling party. Treize was sitting off to one side, his face buried in his hands.
As for the other pilots, and Dorothy and Relena, they were all covered with food. Relena was halfheartedly trying to pick macaroni out of her hair. Quatre was brushing ineffectively at a large spot on his shirt, which looked suspiciously like strawberry yogurt. Everyone had managed to assume a contrite expression, even Wufei.
Duo turned back to the manager, who was waiting impatiently for an explanation. Duo chuckled nervously, and turned back to survey the damage again.
"Um...er...whoops?"
The van was completely silent as they drove into their night's destination. It was already dark outside. No one had enough energy to talk. Treize gripped the steering wheel angrily, willing himself not to lose his temper.
All of the passengers who had been involved in the massive food fight still wore the marks of the battle. They hadn't had the opportunity to clean up. Not only that, but by the time they were finally allowed to leave, no one wanted to stay long enough to try and clean themselves up, anyway.
The manager of the cafeteria had grudgingly agreed to not press charges of disorderly conduct and property damage, though he had been sorely tempted, and both he and Zechs had had to plea- bargain the man several times to keep him from calling the police. The only thing that had mollified the man was volunteering the guilty parties to clean up the mess they had made.
So Zechs, Noin, Treize and Une had sat back and watched as the other seven members of the traveling party had been given buckets of soapy water and told to undo what they had done.
Everyone had complained at first. Especially Dorothy and Relena, who had only joined the fight in self-defense. But neither Treize, nor the manager of the cafeteria, would take 'no' for an answer.
It had taken them several hours to clean everything, including the stains on the ceiling. By that time, daylight was fading, but thankfully, so was the manager's ire. He grudgingly allowed them to leave, telling them that if they ever came back, he would call the police.
Treize sighed in defeat as they pulled into the hotel's parking lot. After securing their rooms for the evening, the travelers wearily turned toward their respective rooms, eager for showers and sleep.
Treize stopped Une before she entered her own room. "Lady," he said quietly.
She turned to face him, her eyes questioning.
"I trust we have been given ample proof of why we shall never eat at such an establishment again?"
Une's lips turned up in a slight smile. "More than ample, Mr. Treize." She stepped into her room, closing the door quietly behind her.
Treize stood in the hall for a moment, thinking. He shook his head slightly and walked down to his own room.