Heero was in the hangar making repairs when he heard some beeps coming from the cockpit, he growled and got up to take the incoming call.
"What?" he answered.
"Heero it's me Sally you called a few minutes ago remember?"
"Oh yeah, we've got problems over hear Noin is in really bad condition and needs some professional help. All the doctors hear know as much about medicine as a cocker spaniel, she was in surgery for hours and she's still slipping away. Oh and bring some mechanics while you're at it. All the Gundams have received serious damage and I'm getting the feeling that the enemy may attack again soon, they know we have very little military force and the suits we do have are damaged."
"Well I'll see if I can get Howard to come by to help you with that but as for medical help I'll be their in a couple of hours."
"Alright and hurry things are looking pretty bad."
"Well I'm coming so tell her to hold on."
The connection was cut and Heero went back to his repairs.
Hilde and Dorothy held onto Relena's hands as thy dragged her down the hall to the Hospital in the East wing of the palace. Relena was looking around calmly singing Attack of the Killer Tomatoes when she suddenly stopped and listened carefully to the sounds around her.
She looked up at her two captors and said in a non musical tone, "Do you know the muffin man? The muffin man? The muffin man? Do you know him?! Well?! Do you?!! BECAUSE HE'S COMING!!!! HE'S COMING!! AND HE'S COMING TO GET ME!!!"
As she screamed this she began thrashing wildly causing servants to look up from their work and wonder why the queen of the country and a Gundam pilot were dragging a dark haired, leather wearing, screaming kicking, girl who was yelling something about the muffin man. Dorothy saw the entrance to the hospital and picked you the pace.
"Hey! Careful you'll give me a rug burn!" snapped Hilde
"Not through that leather." She replied and continued down the hall.
They burst in and were headed for the examination room when they spotted the others in one of the rooms next to Noin's bed. Dorothy let go of Relena and left her whimpering in Hilde's arms, inside she saw Trowa, Wufei, Zechs Duo and Quatre all sitting in silence.
"Is she going to be alright?" asked Dorothy.
"Doctor said that all we can do now is wait for her to get better and from the looks of things it's not likely." Said Wufei, who received a poke in the ribs from Trowa for his insensitivity.
Hilde appeared behind Dorothy and said, "Well I think she's looking better." Wufei snorted at that and received a kick in the shins for it.
Relena walked in stared at Duo and gasped, "It's YOU!!"
Duo covered his face, "Oh no not this again."
"Oh my gosh it's Cousin It!! I have dreamed of meeting you!" she pulled a magic marker out of her bra and handed it to Duo, "Will you autograph me arm?"
"Pardon?"
"Pleeeeeeeease?"
"Uh...OK."
While he was signing and Dorothy was trying to stop Hilde from yelling at Duo for writing on her body, Relena rambled on, "I like your new hairstyle, blonde is nice, although with eyebrows like those I see why you had it over your face to begin with."
Now it was Hilde who had to hold back Dorothy, "Look we've got to take her to get a CAT scan the Zero system seems to have warped her brain." Said Hilde as she hauled Relena and Dorothy out the door, but Relena wiggled free and pranced back in the room singing and dancing.
"I gotta se-cret, I gotta se-cret, I gotta se-cret!"
"Are you crazy?" asked Trowa.
Relena stopped her song and dance and thought for a moment then said, "Gee I can't say...It's a secret."
Hilde ran in and dragged her out again, Wufei shook his head, "Some people."
After a moment of silence Duo got bored and decided to take this moment to find out what his fellow pilots REALLY thought of him, "Hey Wufei what do you think of Duo?"
Wufei snorted, "Why do you ask?"
"No reason just bored."
"Alright if you must know I think that boy fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down."
Duo was about to beat the snot out of him but Heero walked in with Sally Po at his side, "Hi everyone what's the situation?" she asked.
"Sally what are you doing hear?" asked Duo.
"Well I was told that my expertise was needed."
"It is but how did you know?"
"Heero called me and told me to hurry over and getting hear in under an hour from space is no easy task so I hope I am really needed hear."
"Oh you are she needs help the surgeons did all they could but from the looks of her that wasn't enough." Said Quatre.
Sally walked over to Noin and cringed, "What happened?"
"Mobile suit accident." Said Heero.
"This isn't going to be easy but I'll do what I can, OK call in at least five nurses and the doctor that looked at her when she came in. We're going to have to move her into the operating room so everyone OUT!"
"How long has she been in their?!" grumbled an impatient Zechs, "I swear I should fire this whole hospital staff!"
"Calm down she's going to be alright." Said Trowa.
The group was in a small waiting room; sitting impatiently to hear news for Noin's condition, Heero was typing on his labtop, Trowa was reading a magazine, Wufei was meditating, Duo was singing Oops I Did It Again, Quatre was humming the melody, and Zechs was pacing the floor. The door opened and they all relaxed when they saw it was only Dorothy and Hilde and Relena, mind you Relena is strapped in a wheelchair with a straight jacket on. Dorothy sat next to Duo but Quatre traded seats with him and glared at her, Hilde sat next to Trowa and looked at his magazine over his shoulder. Relena decided to have a staring contest with Duo who had nothing better to do so took the challenge.
Duo decided to play dirty and pointed behind her, "Look it's Sailor Moon!!"
"Where?!!" she asked looking around.
"Ha I win!"
"Cheater!"
"OK let's start round two, Ready...Set...Stare!"
Dorothy rolled her eyes and propped her chin up on her hand, "This is going to be a looooooong day."
"What time is it?" asked Zechs.
Heero checked his watch, "Five thirty."
"She's been in there for six hours!"
"Six hours and twenty-one minutes to be exact." Said Sally as she came in pushing Noin in a wheelchair.
"Noin!" Zechs said as he rushed to her side.
Noin smiled weakly at him, "Hi."
"Granny!!" cheered Relena.
"She's going to be OK as long as you keep her off her feet and especially her right leg for the next couple of months. And she just came out of surgery so she's going to be a little out of it." Said Sally.
Dorothy sat up, "HOW out of it?"
"I mean she'll be groggy and she may not recognize you at first sight but it'll get better."
Zechs smiled and hugged Sally tightly, "Thank you."
"No problem."
Wufei raised an eyebrow at Zech's gesture, Trowa nudged him, "Don't get jealous he's only thanking her."
"What?! Me jealous of them?! HA!"
"Suuuuuure you aren't." teased Duo.
"Quiet onna!" snapped Wufei.
At the dinner table Zechs sat next to Noin feeding her despite her protests, opposite of them was Dorothy feeding Relena (cause she lost the coin toss) since her arms tied up in her straight jacket. Beside them was Quatre whispering sweet nothings in Duo's ear which made him too sick to eat, Hilde was talking to Trowa while Sally and Wufei engaged in the argument of the day over nothing in particular. The only one who wasn't present was Heero he had gone to greet Howard and his crew as well as work on Wing Zero. Dorothy had momentarily stopped feeding Relena to get a bite of food herself, and in that small instant her back was turned Relena leaned over, took the plate in her mouth, dumped the contents onto the floor, and smashed it on the table. Dorothy looked at the mess she made and did her best to resist hitting her really, really hard, what she didn't notice was that Relena was hiding a large piece of broken glass in her mouth. A maid came in to clean up the mess and brought in another plate for Relena but she refused to eat, Dorothy growled many curses and decided to take Relena to her room.
On her was out Hilde stopped her, "I'll take her I need to keep an eye on her in case she tries something funny."
Dorothy nodded and handed Relena over to Hilde, "If you'll excuse me Trowa." She said as she got up. Trowa nodded and turned to watch the fight between Wufei and Sally heat up.
Hilde pushed Relena down the hall and into her bedroom, once inside Hilde sat on the bed and was about to read a book on the nightstand when she heard Relena say something but she couldn't understand since the other girl was talking like she had something in her mouth.
"What did you say?"
"I shaid I hashta go to the batroom."
"You have to go to the bathroom?" Relena nodded, "OK but I'm not letting you out of that jacket."
Relena shrugged, "Fine."
Hilde undid the straps that held the legs to the wheelchair and the around her waist, then led her in the bathroom and stood by the door.
Quatre led a reluctant Duo into his sleeping quarters and sat him on the bed, "Now you wait hear and I'll be right back." He said as he went into the walk in closet, Duo smiled and waited until he was out of view and ran for the door only to find it was locked from the inside with a key.
"What the hell...who has a key for the inside of a room?" He asked himself, when he heard Quatre again he dove for the bed and pretended nothing had happened. Then when he saw Quatre he lost his cool composure and screamed like a little girl. The blonde gundam pilot was wearing a bondage outfit complete with a collar handcuffs and a whip.
Quatre cracked it once against the floor and said, found it right outside the library thought it would make this a little more fun...oh and one more surprise," Quatre pulled a can of whipped cream from behind his back, "Yummy."
Duo fainted.
Hilde tapped her foot impatiently, 'What is taking her so long?' she thought, then it hit her, "Oh she can't get her pants down in the straight jacket and she's to stupid to ask for help!" she said to herself. Hilde opened the door to assist Relena but when she open the door all she saw was the straight jacket a sharp piece of glass on the floor and an open window.
"What the..."
She picked up the slobbery glass and the jacket, she had cut through the fabric with the glass no doubt. Hilde dropped the items and rushed to the window, two stories down she could see flattened shrubbery where Relena had landed.
"SHIT!!!!" she screamed as she raced down the hall back to the dinning room.
Relena was walking around the perimeter of the castle whistling the X-Men theme when she came across some men bringing a bunch of paint cans into the back entrance of the banquet hall. She dismissed the scene when she heard a man call her, not but her name (either of them) but she could tell he was talking to her.
"Excuse me ma'am are you Miss Tate?"
"Yup." Said Relena, still not in her right mind.
"Wow the guys said you was young but dang."
"What do you want?"
The man gave her an odd look, "To tell us what the heck were supposed ta be paintin' on the banquet hall ceilin'... You is Miss Donna Tate the painter aint cha?"
Relena thought for a moment then smiled, "Oh I have that information haha boooy do I ever."
"Dorothy? Hey Dorothy! Wake up!"
Duo opened his eyes and focused on Quatre's face, his eyes opened all the way and he sat straight up with a jerk, he was relived to find the other boy dressed in a pair of boxers and a tank top.
"Oi what happened?"
"You fainted I guess I was just too sexy." Quatre joked.
Duo shuddered, "Oh yeah now I remember."
Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and Quatre got up to answer it, "Hello Miss Relena how may I help you?"
"Uh I need to speak to Dorothy for a moment it's an emergency."
Duo got up and came to the door, "Yeah?"
Hilde grabbed his arm and pulled him into the hall, "Relena got free outside and I need help finding her NOW!" she whispered.
"I'd be glad to but wont the others help?"
"I went to the dining room to tell the others but everyone had left and I couldn't find them so I come hear looking for you."
"Well lets go...oh wait a sec." Duo stepped back into the room, "Um Quatre I have to take care of something it may take a while so don't wait up OK?"
Quatre sighed, "Alright sugarpuss."
Duo turned to face a snickering Hilde (technically Relena but you knew that), "What?"
"Sugarpuss?" she laughed.
"Ugh I know nauseating ain't it."
"Let's start in the garden and search from the outside of the East wing to the West."
Duo groaned, "This is going to be a long night."
Sally poured herself another glass of wine and took a delicate sip while glancing over at Wufei who was sucking it down by the gallon. She Wufei and Trowa were on balcony of third floor the view of the Sanc was stunning but Sally and Trowa seemed to be the only ones enjoying it. The young Chinese boy was a little to drunk to, Sally had told him not to drink so much but her insisted that since he was male he could handle liquor well. 'Yeah right.' Thought Sally as she took another sip glancing at the drunken boy next to her.
After a few minutes Wufei broke the everlasting silence "Know what?" when no one answered he continued, "My life is really screwed up, I'm a scholar and a *hick* widower at 16 and still a friggin' virgin...that's not right." He now had Sally and Trowa's FULL attention, "That's why I'm *hick* always talkin' about in*hick*justice I should be out *hick* datin' and partyin'...like Maxwell, yeah, Maxwell's got the right idea, make life one big *hick* joke, laugh, smile, *hick* and be happy."
"That's enough for you." Sally said reaching for the bottle.
"No it's mine woman back off!!"
She rolled her eyes and sat back in her chair, "Fine."
"And that's another thing, why am I so mean to you? I really *hick* like you a *hick* lot, you're very pretty smart and *hick* the first woman who ever put up with my *hick* crap. I don't think you're weak even though I say it *hick* all the time, you're the strongest woman I *hick* know."
Sally could only stare in shock, Trowa just blinked trying to determine if he had heard right or not.
"What?! Whud I *hick* say?!"
Trowa stood up, "I think I'll go call Catherine to see how she's doing." He said then hurried away.
Sally shook her head, 'He didn't mean what he said he's just drunk.' She thought Wufei looked at her and started laughing. "What's so funny?" she asked.
"I like twinkies." He giggled.
"Now you're starting to act like Hilde, Wufei you'd better give me the wine."
"No Kenny it's miiiiine no Kenny it's my wine!"
Sally frowned, "Who the hell is Kenny?"
Wufei ignored her and drained the bottle, "I need s'more." He said and got up to get more liquor, Sally stopped him by blocking the balcony door.
"Noooo you don't."
"Get outta m'way b'fore I *hick* make you." He growled.
"You don't need any more."
"Yeees I do."
"Wufei sit down I'm not letting you through."
Instead of sitting he stood right in her face and...kissed her, sliding his tongue deep in her mouth sliding it across her teeth and tongue. Then he shoved her out of the way and bolted back inside saying, "Told you I'd make you move weakling!"
Heero sat back and sighed it had been a long day and now he wanted nothing more than to sleep, he laid back in his bed and closed his eyes...only to be immediately by his labtop. It was beeping meaning someone was trying to call him. He sat up with a growl walked over to his computer and turned on the communicator.
"Yes." He said in an aggravated voice.
"Mr. Yuy I'm sorry to disturb you sir but we have spotted a large number of mobile suit headed this way I think it's the second wave of Microft's attack." Said David, on of Howard's many subordinates from the hangar.
"Damn I knew he would come back. Around how many suit are there?"
"I'd say about seven hundred or more."
"Call all the other pilots including Dorothy tell them to hurry and meet me in the hangar." With that he cut the link and ran for the door.
"What time is it?" Duo asked.
"Two minutes after the last time you asked me that." Replied Hilde.
"Couldn't we just call it a nigh and look for her in the morning?"
"No we can't, no telling what she's doing in my body right now."
"Aww but I'm hungry!"
"You just ate a few hours ago!"
"But I'm still hungry! And I'm tired!"
"Duo zip it!!!!"
"There you are!" said a voice from behind them, they turned to find Dorothy standing their with a worried look on her face, "You guys we've got trouble..."
"Tell me about it I lost Relena." Growled Hilde.
"You what?!"
"She lost Relena and we've been spendin' the past few hours looking for her."
"Great just great et me just add that to the list of thing's that've gone wrong in the past hour!"
"What do you mean?" Hilde asked.
"Microft has started a second attack with more suits than the first and of the nine pilots real pilots we do have three aren't in the right body one is missing, one is drunk , one is injured, and one is too worried about his girlfriend to even walk!!!"
"Oh boy we're in trouble." Muttered Duo, "Look guys why don't we just turn ourselves in this is getting serious."
"No it's too late for that Heero would kill us all if he knew we knew." Hilde said to Duo.
"Knew what?" questioned Dorothy.
"Oh nothing." The guilty party said in unison.
Dorothy shrugged, "Whatever Duo we need you down at the hangar, Hilde keep looking for Relena."
Hilde nodded and took off around the corner Duo and Dorothy headed to the hangar.
Heero grabbed his head in frustration, "What do you mean you can't find him he was just hear!!" he shouted at Howard.
"Hey Heero don't go getting mad at me I'm not responsible for him."
"Great now Hilde AND Wufei are missing." He muttered to himself, Dorothy overheard this and gasped, Heero turned around and was relived to see too see the other pilots. "Guys suit up we need to leave now this time we'll have backup but even so this is going to be hard. I hate to throw away all that Relena's worked for but this has to be done...right." Duo and Dorothy both nodded.
"You guys better move your asses if you want to stop the enemy before they reach the front gate." Said Howard.
Without a word Heero turned to Wing Zero and Duo and Dorothy headed for the Deathscythe, "And just where do you think you are going?" asked Dorothy.
"To my Gund.... Oh yeah." Duo pouted and sadly walked over to the white Taurus suit he was to pilot.
Wufei was walking...correction stumbling through the halls going nowhere in particular, after the disappointment of raiding the kitchen and finding no alcoholic substance he went to his room for some snacks out of his suitcase and decided to go for a 'walk'. He had been dragged to the hangar to pilot his gundam but he did feel like piloting, so he just walked away. After a minute or two of stumbling down the hall he spotted people running in and out of the banquet hall so he stepped in to see what was up. Inside the floor was covered with a sheet of thick plastic with paint stains all over it and all the furniture had been moved. Instead their were ladders that lead up to the ceiling, Wufei was about to look up and see what they were painting but was stopped by a familiar voice.
"Wolfie how are ya my boy?"
Wufei turned to see 'Hilde' standing behind him, "Hil*hick*de?"
"No silly my name is Donna Tate."
Wufei shrugged, "K Donna *hick* whas up?"
Relena pointed up, Wufei looked up at the ceiling and snorted, "What th' *hick* hell is that supposed to be?"
"Come hear." Relena said as she led her friend to a work bench in a secluded corner on the bench were papers with sketches of something on them, Wufei couldn't tell what because they were partially rolled up. Relena sorted through them until she found one with color on it. She unrolled the paper and handed it to Wufei.
"This is what it's gonna look like when were done."
His eyes shot open and he looked up at the roof, "You're really gonna *hick* put this up there?"
"Yes my team has been working nonstop, we have to have it done by tomorrow for a party ya know. I drew those sketches myself you like?"
"Yeah they're great I *hick* never knew you were a *hick* artist."
"Me either."
For a while they just watched the painters paint, until Wufei said, "Wanna see somethin' *hick* cool?"
"Sure." Relena said and watched him pull something long and tan out of his shorts, "Oooooo that's the biggest one I've ever seen!"
Wufei smirked, "How many have you seen? Livin' in *hick* a place like this I *hick* wouldn't think you'd see many of these."
"Please I use to be addicted!" she looked at it again and licked her lips, "May I?"
"Go ahead."
Relena grabbed it and although it took a moment she finally got the white cream she desired so to come running out on her hand, she happily retracted her hand and licked the thick white cream off, "Mmmmm good."
"I know." Wufei said as he ate what remained of his twinkie, "I *hick* love these!"