Duo awoke with a jump he had thought he heard someone scream, his eyes hadn't focused in the light but as soon as they did he found himself looking at a VERY shocked Quatre and Heero. Duo looked down at himself and realized he had shed a few articles of clothing during the night since he forgot he was now a girl making him partially naked and Hilde had shed quite articles herself and to some who didn't know better it looked like...
"Oh darn." He whimpered.
"You bitch." Growled Heero.
"Oh hey guys it's not what it looks like!"
Quatre's eyes watered, "Dorothy how COULD you?!!"
"Quatre look I swear I didn't...." his voice trailed off when he noticed Heero reach behind his back for something and Duo had a good idea what it was. He ducked just in time to dodge the first bullet the second broke the lamp on the nightstand and woke Hilde. Duo left the explaining to Hilde as he grabbed a shirt off the floor and made a quick escape out the window and ran like all hell was after him, and it was.
Wufei and Relena were sitting next to each other on the steps of the stage that was in the banquet hall. Sadly Wufei was still drunk after a few hours of watching paint dry (literally) he fell asleep and woke up at about 6 am with a serious hangover. For some reason Relena convinced him that drinking more liquor would stop the pain well it did sort of. The two had been up since early morning getting high on twinkies and drunk on gin and tonic, Relena had retrieved from the private stash in her room, and (in Wufei's case) puking every once in a while. Now Relena was still suffering from the Zero system and on top of it all was drunk and high on twinkies she was a jittery mess to hyped to move because she wanted to run everywhere at once. Wufei just felt sick in a weird kind of way.
A man in paint stained overalls walked over to them an said, "Well we're done whaddaya think?" Relena and Wufei looked up at the same time, Relena gave a shaky thumbs up and Wufei hunched over and threw up on the floor which was luckily still covered with plastic.
"Sorry *hick* but that's enough to *hick* make anyone puke."
Relena looked up again "IIIII dddddon't knnnnow it lllokss goooood ttooooo mmmmee."
"Looks *hick* good but the *hick* thought of them is just *hick* disturbing."
"You should leave we have to put everything back in place so the decorators can come in and set up we're really behind schedule and the party starts in a few hours."
"Kkkkkkkk."
"That's *hick* cool."
The two got up and left the room and walked arm and arm down the hall until they were met by Zechs pushing Noin in her wheelchair.
Upon seeing her trusted friend Relena ran to her screaming, "Kiki Qqqqueen of the Fffairy Mmushroom Pppppeople! Youuuur ssssafe!"
Wufei followed suit and joined Relena in giving Noin a big bear hug causing her to yelp in pain, Zechs had to pry the two nutjobs off his sort-of-girlfriend.
"What the hell is wrong with you Wufei I thought you were more sane than this?!"
Wufei's only reply was to barf on the rug.
"And Hilde who let you out of your jacket?!" Zechs snapped.
Relena didn't reply she just grabbed Wufei's arm and took off running down the hall.
Zechs would have chased after her but he saw Noin was in a lot of pain, "Noin are you alright?"
Noin looked up at him through glazed eyes and nodded, between the painkillers and her sleepiness she wasn't all there. Zechs continued to push her down the hall and as he walked he felt something small in his pocket poking his hip, 'Today I have to ask her today.' He thought to himself remembering the engagement ring in his pocket.
Relena had dragged Wufei in her bedroom and convinced him to play dress up with her, which is how he found himself in a pink tutu with mouse ears and a tail. Relena was in front of him lacing up his ballerina shoes for him.
"Hey *hick* Relena are you sure pink is my *hick* color?"
"Oh yeah definitely!" said Relena without her stutter, the Zero system's affects had worn off but she still had to deal with the sugar rush and wine overdose. Now the only proof she was high on sugar and slightly drunk was the constant switching if her hands and her dilated pupils.
"Really I always *hick* thought purple was *hick* my color."
"Nope pink is it...done!" she said triumphantly as she stood examining his shoes, "That looks great!"
Wufei turned and examined himself in the mirror, "Wow *hick* pink IS me *hick*!"
"Yeah now hold on let me get dressed." Relena said as she skipped into the bathroom, she soon immerged wearing and identical blue tutu with rabbit ears and a fluffy tail, "How do I look?"
"You look *hick* cute."
"Thanks!"
"Where'd you *hick* get this crap from anyways?"
"Outta Hilde's suitcase, she left it in hear when she moved into my room cause we switched bodies."
"Ask a stupid *hick* question..."
"Ooooo look what I found." Said Relena holding and inflatable baseball bat in her hands, on it were bright red letters that read AMERICAN ALL-STARS. She got an odd look in her eyes and began to sing, "Little Peter Cottontail hoppin' through the forest..."
Wufei knew the rest of the song and took off running out into the hall but it didn't do any good. Relena was fast and was soon behind him singing her song while clobbering him painfully hard with her bat conveniently leaving out the part about the Good Fairy.
Sally was out in the garden with Trowa and 'Duo' eating breakfast, and pondering what had happened the night before. Trowa was looking at the sky wondering how Catherine was doing, and Dorothy was trying to figure out why their bodies hadn't been switched back to normal yet. She had considered coming clean about the whole thing but figured if Quatre knew he had made passes at Duo he'd die of embarrassment. As if on cue Quatre came running up to them with tears in his eyes.
"Quatre what's wrong?" asked Sally.
Quatre took a seat by Trowa and let his head fall on the table with a loud *THUD*, "Dorothy has found another love." He sobbed.
Dorothy nearly choked on her toast, "WHAT?! WHO?!!"
"Relena Heero and I caught them in bed together *sniff* half naked."
Dorothy immediately jumped up, "That son of a bitch I'll KILL him!"
"Not him," corrected Quatre corrected, "her *sniff*."
"Maybe they didn't sleep together, maybe it was just a misunderstanding." Suggested Trowa.
"No it wasn't Dorothy was topless and under *choke* *sob* the sheets with Relena."
Dorothy was about to hound down Duo when the guilty party ran past with a trigger happy gundam pilot on his heals, Duo spotted Dorothy and dove behind her for cover gasping for air.
Heero slid to a stop and pointed his gun at Dorothy's head, "Move." He said in an emotionless voice.
"Mr. Yuy please put that down and we can talk about this like responsible adults."
"Mr. Yuy?" echoed Sally.
The dispute would have gone further but the group was distracted by the sight of Wufei and 'Hilde' running past in their little getups, ever Heero had stare.
"Somebody *pant* tell me I wasn't *pant* the only one who *gasp* saw that." Said Duo.
"You weren't the only one who saw that." Said Trowa.
"Damn I wish I had my camera." Said Sally.
"Hey what are you all doing!" They all turned to find Zechs was the owner of the voice, "We have a party to host in less than an hour and you all are out hear playing tag!" he scolded.
Sally stood and lowered Heero's gun, but he didn't notice he was still looking off in the direction 'Hilde' and Wufei had run off in, "You're right Zechs come on guys let's take this up latter...and Dorothy put on some decent clothes." She said.
Duo looked down at himself and realized the shirt he was in was Relena's and 3 sizes too small leaving nothing to the imagination. In his haste to get away for Heero he failed to realize the tightness of the shirt, and boooy was it tight. Dorothy shot him a murderous glance as Zechs and Sally dragged her and the others, minus Duo, back into the palace to get ready to great the guest.
20 minutes after we find Wufei and Relena sitting on the chandelier in the dining room still in their tutu's singing 'No One Knows the Troubles I've Seen' in honor of Relena's deflated bat, they picked that song because they were too high on sugar and drunk to think of something better. As they finished the last verse Zechs and the gang came in including a now properly dressed Hilde and Duo entered the room.
"OK," said Zechs from below, "We have to be a presentable group this morning, now I know you all are having some problems amongst yourselves but let's set them aside and be civil and not start any wars with the leaders of any colonies." He aimed that last part at 'Relena'. "The guests should be arriving soon so lets get ready."
Everyone except Dorothy, Sally, Duo, Noin, and Heero left, they had noticed the two nutballs sitting on the chandelier and felt the sight was worth a stare.
"What ARE you two doing up their?" asked Dorothy.
"Nothin' whatcha doin' down their?" Asked Relena.
"Hey how'd you guys like Donna's paintin'?" asked Wufei.
"Who's Donna and what painting?" asked Dorothy.
"That would be me," Said Relena, "and the painting in the banquet hall."
Duo turned to the others, "I'll go see what she's talking about." He said and walked across the hall into the room in question where Zechs and the others were discussing what would be happening where during the party. He looked around the room for a painting but saw nothing, "Just as I thought." He sighed and then stretched out tilting his head back, then he saw IT and his eyes nearly popped out of his head. IT was as large as life up on the ceiling in full color, IT was a painting of Heero and Noin together naked in bed having hot wild monkey sex. Duo stood straight up and looked around no one had noticed IT the ceiling was large but it was high enough not to be noticed unless you actually looked up. He dashed back into the dining room praying no one looked up. He slid in and looked at Noin then at Heero then back to Noin then at Sally, he walked over to her and pulled her away from the others.
"What's the problem?" she asked.
"I'm going to tell you so you can tell them," he pointed to Heero and Noin, "cause I don't have the guts to do it."
"What is it? What did you see?"
Wufei watched as 'Dorothy' whispered something into Sally's ear, and then watched as she passed out on the floor, "Oh my God she killed Kenny!!" he screeched.
"You bastard!!" chimed Relena.
"What happened?" asked Noin.
"I think it's best you see for yourself, go into the banquet hall and look up but don't scream or look up all at once because the others will see it too."
Heero nodded and turned to leave Dorothy got hold of Noin's wheelchair and pushed her out, Duo waited for them to return, the fist one back was Dorothy and Noin who looked like they had been shot then came Heero he was shaking like a frightened kitten.
Noin and Dorothy: O.o
"Aw crap Zechs is SO going to KILL me!!" cried Heero.
"You don't like my design?" asked Relena from her perch.
Heero growled climbed on a chair and attempted to grab her but she was just out of his reach, Duo knelt to Sally, "I guess I shouldn't have been so descriptive." He said as he shook her awake.
She groaned and sat up, "I need an Aspirin."
N/D: O.o
"I am so dead." Sniffled Heero.
"Shit I'm outta twinkies!" snapped Wufei.
"Noooooooooooooo!!" screamed Relena.
N/D: o.O
"Don't worry Heero if Zechs saw it I doubt he would you two actually did it."
"YOU KNEW ABOUT IT??!!" yelled Heero.
"THEY DID THAT??!!" yelled Sally.
Duo winced, "Uh I guessed."
N/D: O.o
"Relena told you didn't she?!" snapped Heero.
"No! No sbdmhjb told me."
"WHO?"
"Hkdfjdkl now let's not linger on this and figure out how we can keep our guest eyes off the ceiling and considering the press will be their as well."
N/D: O.O
Just then Zechs stepped in, "What are you all still doing in hear we they guests are starting to arrive." He said then disappeared.
Sally Heero and Duo flew out the door to try and stall for time to form a plan and Noin and Dorothy just stared on in disbelief.
Hilde greeted each of the guests as they entered the room and was feeling proud of her performance when Duo tapped her on the shoulder.
"What do you want I'm kind of busy right now."
"Come hear we have an emergency." He whispered.
She excused herself from the greetings and was replaced by Zechs as Duo pulled her over to an unoccupied corner.
"Now what is so important?" she asked.
"Look up quickly."
"What?"
"Just do it."
Hide took a quick glance at the ceiling the back as Duo then her eyes widened and she looked up again.
"Don't stare or the press will notice." Duo whispered.
She slowly lowered her head and took a deep breath, "Who put that up?"
"Relena, I think she had a little talk with the painters."
"Holy crap we're screwed."
"No we're not all we have to do is keep people from looking up."
"That's true, that's all we have to do, that's all we have to, that's all we have to do..." Hide kept chanting that comforting phrase as Duo trotted over to where Heero Dorothy and Noin were sitting staring into space Noin and Heero looking deathly pale.
"Common you guys just two hours and then we're good to go."
"..." said Noin.
"Look I already called the painters and their coming in right after the party to cover it up."
"..." said Heero.
"K fine be that way." Said Duo as he walked off to sit by Sally.
Without warning the lights dimmed and a spotlight was shone on the center of the stage, the whole room went silent in anticipation of what was going to happen, Hilde looked over a Zechs who shrugged, Duo frowned and Sally gasped, "Where are Wufei and Hilde?"
Before anyone could answer a young tutu wearing Chinese boy leapt into the middle of the light, followed by his partner in crime Relena aka Hilde wearing a set of bongo drums around her neck.
"Hello," he began, "I am Curtis *hick* King of the Nose *hick* Goblins and I would like *hick* to recite a poem *hick* called Twinkies."
The room was silent except for the sound of cameras flashing everyone was to shocked to move, they even had Dorothy Noin and Heero's attention, Wufei stuck a dance pose and Relena began to rhythmically beat the bongos. As he recited the poem he danced gracefully around the stage.
"The *hick* light in my *hick* darkness, The hair on my *hick* head, The key in my hole, *hick*... Twinkies. The cookie in my jar, The love of my *hick* life, The zipper on my pants *hick*...Twinkies. It's sweet taste I *hick* can't resist, It's like a drug I'm a*hick*ddicted and now their gone *sniff*. The love I had is *sniffle* gone and...and...Oh I can't go on!" He yelled as he broke down crying on the stage.
Relena rushed to his side, "It's OK I loved them too I know how you feel." She said then turned to the audience, "Sorry folks we'll have to cut this short he's still hurting." With that she escorted Wufei off stage.
The room remained motionless for a few minutes until Sally burst out laughing, causing the rest of the room to lighten up and laugh along. Zechs notified security to find the two and put them in restraints then got up on stage to introduce Relena, Duo just watch Sally laugh until she was on the floor a twitching giggling mess and Hilde took the stage and gave her written speech curtsey of Zechs. Afterwards she spent the rest of the party was spent dancing eating and talking to old politicians as for the others Sally was buying a copy of one reporters filming of 'The Poem'. Duo was eating (duh), and Heero Noin and Dorothy were back their staring state although the did eat a little food while Quatre tried to find out was wrong with them. It was about time to break things up and Duo was sitting next to Hilde in front of the stage eating a piece of cake when Relena appeared out of behind them.
"Good evening everyone I c'n only talk for a moment cause security's after me but I just wanted to know if anyone liked my painting?"
"Painting?" said a random politician.
Before Duo or Hilde could move she blurted out, "The one on the ceiling!"
Noin Heero and Dorothy simultaneously choked on the food they were eating, cameras flashed and jaws dropped.
Soon every eye in the room was on Heero he didn't like this AT ALL so he diverted their attention in the only way he could think of, "Oh yeah you think that's bad Dorothy and Relena are sleeping together!!"
Dorothy tried to strangle him and he tried to figure out why, Sally instructed security to evacuate the part, and Hilde sank down in her chair and tried to hide her face behind her glass. Heero finally slipped out of Dorothy's grasp and made a dash for the door when her ran into something big and hard, he fell to the floor and looked up, to see a VERY ANGRY Zechs'.
"Oh shit." Was all he was able to mutter before he was beaten into a bloody pulp.