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| The button to the left will take you HOME...as this is the last page of my site. This page contains my own personal views that started out as a blog on my Yahoo pages, but it is one that I felt was what is really in my heart. If you feel that you are not in agreement with my beliefs, please take the time to either email me or sign my guesbook as found on my HOME page. I am willing to listen to the views of others, but will not be swayed by forcefulness or mailicious meanderings. Thank you for respecting me as a human being with the power of free will and choice, and I will respect your views as well. Lady Cullen |
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| *** This page contains my own views and beliefs. I do not expect to change the minds of anyone who may read this, I am merely expressing my own views. In all fairness, please allow me to do so, as my friends and family have the right to know what it is I am thinking and feeling. Lady Cullen *** |
| I think that I should start out with telling you, that in doing my family history, I have found that I am Prussain (now the Chek Republic), German, Irish, Scotish and English. I am a Celt throughout all my family lines, which includes the Gaulish nations. It is in my research that I began to understand some of the ways of thinking that I have always had, thinking that often put me out of the group in words and actions. I have always been considered a bit odd, was known in high school as a nerd, but also was seen as different, because my actions were not what the norm of society demanded. I was never a "Goth"...though they have been taking a lot of heat in recent years. They are misunderstood individuals, for most Gothics, true Gothics that is, are just people like you and me. Often, they are also Pagan in their beliefs, something the Christian Church, as a whole, sees as Satanic. The funny thing is, Pagans do NOT believe that Satan exists...so how they fit into that mold puzzles me. When you look deep within the small percentage of people who are "Goths", you will find that you have two mindsets. You have those who use the lifestyle as an escape, a form of rebellion. These are not the people I am talking about. These are merely teens and young adults who are looking for the shock value that goes along with the lifestyle, the dress, and the actions that they perceive to be Goth. Then you have those who really are Gothic in all that they do. They look to live a lifestyle that is out of the norm, one that gives them identity, a distinct way of life, and a mindset that is not of the norm of society. As I stated before, some of them are also Pagan in their beliefs, and it is those beliefs that I hope to share with you, as well as my reasons for turning to those beliefs. I grew up in the Lutheran church. I spent most of my childhood and adult years believing what the Church told me was right and what was wrong. I have, for years, held to a different way of thinking, knowing that there were other faiths that also offered the solice and comfort that the Christian faith provided. I have always known that there was not one Church that was perfect in it's system. I have known that the Church as we know it today has changed and distorted from what Jesus pronounced it to be. I have been told by many a witness, that if I did not believe the way that they did, I was doomed to Hell. This is what began my line of questioning and a search for what gave me the most comfort, help, and guidance. When you read the Bible, you are faced with many contradictions. Though the Ten Commandments are wonderful in that they set a law system to live by, one that is truly good and honest, there are things that just don't seem right as you go through the teachings of the Church, the radical reasons that wars have been fought, and the fanatacism that if often on the border of most faiths. What do I mean by this? If you look closely at history, most wars have been fought for God...in one form or another. Leaders use God as their excuse to set down laws that take away civil liberties. This has really been present in the last eight or so years of American Leadership, as well as throughout the world. Yet, when you look into the Bible, there is supposed to be peace, a way of life that is forgiving, honest and a prevailing thought that God is forgiving, all loving, and all accepting. This is not what most Churches are preaching. They talk about going to Hell if you do not follow their doctrines, the old "my faith is better than your faith" issue. They condemn people because of their sexual preferance, those they choose to keep company with, and the choices that are made that show man's imperfection. Yet, if you read the Bible, you will find that freedom of choice was something that God gave to man...and we are having it taken from us daily. It was in this confusion that I began to question and search. I do believe in God, the Triune, but I also believe that he has a more feminine side. How can this be?? Man was created in God's image...so if God is a man, where did the design for a woman come from? Our anatomy is radically different from that of a man, so therefore, is God also female? I feel that Nature, the womb that the Earth is, as man and woman came from the dust, is really the feminine aspect of God. LIfe stems from her, and returns to her in death. Therefore, is it not natural to honor Nature as you would a Mother? If that is what you should do, then shouldn't all she have to offer be considered sacred? Shouldn't we do what we can to replenish what it is we take from Her? It was in this line of questioning that I began to look to the Pagan beliefs for answers. After all, this was a belief system that was around long before Christ walked the Earth. This system of belief was around during the times of the Egyptians, the Greeks, the Native tribes of most continents and the Jews. The Egyptians, the Greeks, and most other tribes, besides the Judaic peoples, are Polytheistic, meaning they worship more than one God. Each God represents an element, an occurance of Nature, or the occupations of the people. How is it that so many tribes in primitive peoples had so many Gods, and why? When you look at the Triune God of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, are you not looking at three seperate entities tied into one? Each has it's function. Each has it's own importance. These are the things that really made me ponder what it was that I found for myself that would be comforting, allow me to believe and yet return to a more simpler life and law system that would allow me to be true to myself while maintianing a proper personage to the public. That sounds odd, but I am a law abiding citizen, and the laws that I have chosen to live by are just laws that make sense, common sense, and yet keep me from harm or from harming others. I have chosen to walk down the path of the Druids. I have many years of learning ahead of me, for my learning will never end. i choose to live a life that honors the gifts that Nature provides to me, while returning to the Earth that which will help replenish what I have taken. I have chosen to learn the history of the people that are my ancestors, while also adapting my life to fit as much as possible the simple way of living that was present before the technological world became so prevalant. Yes, I use today's technology, but if you were to look into the true Druids, you would find that they also adapted to new technologies and did not stagnate. The only reason that the Druidic beliefs died out so many years ago was the Church, for those who did not believe the way that the Church told them to believe, were killed as heretics. Those that kept to the beliefs, did so in private, not taking what they believed out in public, so that the oral history that was known was now known by very few. I know that I can never be fully what was known as Druid, for those oral histories are few, and those that did survive, are now taught in schools in Ireland. Traveling there for me right now would be impossible, so I choose to learn what I can, live what I feel is as close to the old ways as possible, and teach my children respect for Nature, the gifts that we are given daily, and an understanding that each person is different, that no one way is fully correct. I feel that you can only live to the best of your own potential, and that being forced to believe a certain way is not always healthy. I have chosen to educate my children on all different faiths, giving them the opportunity to choose what it is they feel most comfortable with. I believe in a justice system where all are equal, and when you do something wrong to a person you and the other person agree on a satisfactory system of repayment to atone for the wrong and bring balance back to the universe. I am honest to a fault, for lying in the Druidic system was not tolerated. I am teaching my children this as well, for with honesty comes integrity, something that is so lacking in the youth of today. Too many parents have not taught their children the meaning of respect, honesty and integrity, and I feel this is something that is sad to see. I am not alone in how I believe. My husband, as well, shares what I believe. It solidifies our marriage, our friendship, and our togetherness. Though we are considered solitary, we do have friends who are Pagan, and we all meet together to share, honor the gifts we are given, and learn with each other. These are beliefs that make me happy, keep my mind at peace and my heart full of love and hope. This is a lifestyle for us. We have both felt out of place with what organized religion is today. There were just too many questions that could not be answered satisfactorally for us, while giving us comfort and strength. Niether one of us believe that you have to be in a building in order to worship, nor do we feel you should hide your face from God...for when you tell someone the truth, you look them in the face so that they may look into your eyes to see into your heart and know that you are honest. Doesn't God deserve that same respect? Don't people think that he would want to be able to look deep within our souls to see that we are honest? How humbled do you have to be to have your highter power only look at the back of your head when you speak to him? I know that a lot of what I say will garner a bad response from many people...so, I ask you not to post hate mail to me, for I choose my lifestyle because it fits me, just as you choose your lifestyle because it fits you. What you believe and what I believe has no affect on the other, for everyone has the freedom of choice, something that was given to man from the beginning...read the Bible and it is there. I do not want to be converted, nor will I convert to someone else's religion just to make them happy. Do I expect you to suddenly change your views to fit mine...NO!!!! What happens to me when I die is my concern, and no one else's. I also do not wish to convert anyone else to my way of believing. I merely offer an insight into who I am...hoping that there will be understaning and full acceptance that each of us is different. I believe the way that I do because it puts my own soul and mind at ease, allowing me to center myself and be the best that I can for my own potential. My beliefs heal my wounded heart, years of hurt wieghing it down and finally it is finding peace. Yes, the Church is part of the wounding that has taken place in my heart, but I am willing to learn more, hoping that in my learning, I become the kind of person I can live with, be happy about and show my children that we are each what we make of ourselves. What hurts me most is the judgemental attitudes that this writing will surely garner. This judgemental character goes totally against what is taught in the Bible, along with so many other faiths, that we should not judge lest we be judged. This is something that I feel is so important...for I hope that I am not a judgemental person, giving room for others to live the way that they choose to live. The funny thing is, I have found that those of Christian faith are often the most judgemental in what they percieve is acceptable and not acceptable about human nature. All I ask is that you give me what you would wish for yourself...room to believe in what I do without the burden of judgement that is not yours to place onto me. I am not prejudiced, will admit when I am wrong...but only if I KNOW I am wrong. I aks that you not force your beliefs onto me, only give me the chance to see for myself if what you beleive fits into what makes me whole as a person. Thank you for your time and understanding Lady Cullen |