GREAT DIET TIPS :
(A waist is a terrible thing to mind - A diet is a weigh of life.)

If you eat something and no-one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are
cancelled out by the diet soda.

Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories
to see their way into the calorie counter.

When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than
they do.

Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy
toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

If you fatten up everyone else around you, you look thinner.

Movie related foods do not have additional calories because they are part of the
entire entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel, such as Milk
Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, and Tootsie Rolls.

Cookies pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking causes calorie
leakage.

Licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of
preparing something. Examples:
Peanut Butter on a knife making a sandwich Ice cream on a spoon making a
sundae.

If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other
food color.

Anything consumed while standing has no calories.  This is due togravity and the
density of the caloric mass.

Anything consumed from someone else's plate has no calories since
the calories rightfully belong to the other person and will cling to
his/her plate.  (We ALL know how calories like to cling!)

To create a balanced diet, put a cookie in each hand.

Whenever you feel like exercise, lay down and wait for the feeling to pass

Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat
as many as you want.

To REALLY do something about your weight: Stop getting on the scale.

Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite and you'll eat less.

Store all junk foods on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the junk foods to protect themselves.

Eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, so it becomes a balanced meal.

Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples:
Spinach & Pistachio ice cream, Mushrooms & White Chocolate.

This diet is designed to help you cope with the stress that builds
up during the day.

STRESS DIET:

Breakfast:
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
8 oz. skim milk

Lunch:
4 oz. lean broiled chicken breast
l cup steamed spinach
1 cup herb tea
1 Oreo cookie

Mid-Afternoon snack:
The rest of Oreos in the package
2 pints Rocky Road ice cream, nuts, cherries and whipped cream
1 jar hot fudge sauce

Dinner:
2 loaves garlic bread
4 cans or 1 large pitcher Coke
1 large sausage, mushroom and cheese pizza
3 Snickers bars

Late Evening News:
Entire frozen Sara Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from freezer)

REMEMBER:  "STRESSED SPELLED BACKWARDS IS DESSERTS