silent_world

Over the years I have had many web sites. I have spoken
freely of my pain at he loss of my beloved granddaughter. I
have fought for my causes, which included the Pow's/MIA's
and Political corruption, and I was outspoken about my
outrage of NATO dropping bombs on Kosova.
Yet
I never spoke of myself as a person. My friends never knew
my secret that I guarded so carefully. I never mentioned my
Silent World!

Why was I ashamed of being deaf !
Many deaf people are ashamed of the fact that we either
have a severe hearing loss, or that we are deaf. This is
especially true if we are young or middle aged. We know
most people think of deafness as being something that
happens to the elderly, and is related to old age. We are
also treated as if we have a slight retardation, and will
be talked to as if we are children by some people.

When I found the internet, I found a whole new world !
Online I was accepted as normal, and there was no problem communicating as we use our sight and not sound. I was so
thrilled that no one knew my secret that I never told anyone.

Later, I was ashamed to tell cyberfriends that I was deaf
as I knew they would feel betrayed, that they had been
my friend for years and thought they knew me so well.

I think I became so reclusive, because I had fooled even
my friends in the real world for so many years. I had a
total loss in my right ear and a severe loss in the right from
an injury when I was fifteen years old. I unconciously
learned to lip read and became an expert at reading lips.

Then doctors became aware of my condition, and urged
me to try surgeries. After three unsuccesful operations I
was fitted with a hearing aid for the right side that still
had some ability to hear sound. Ah! at last I could hear.

I marveled at the sound of birds chirping, and other sounds
I had forgotten existed. I no longer had to pay close attention
to a person speaking if I was in a quite room.....but I never
noticed I was losing the ability to read lips. Gradually the aid
was not enough. I was losing all hearing in the (good)??
ear. Now, although I can hear some loud sounds with my
aid, if the conditions are perfect. I am told it will soon
not help at all. I wish I had never gotten the aid and
could still read lips as well as I once did.

Meeting other deaf cyberfriends