‘Too Many Cooks Spoil the Soup’ – by Stephanie White and Julie Henderson

WARNING: This story depicts the rape of one of the characters. Please do not read if this is not something you wish to hear about.

“Well, we’ve had dinner, now what?” Sheryl Lee (Lee to her friends) Jacobs said to the man now sitting on the sofa.

David Starsky looked up at the woman standing in front of him. “Oh, I could think o’ one or two things.”

She knelt on the sofa, straddling him. “One or two?”

His arms came up around her waist. “Or three or four…”

She giggled into their first kiss, but very soon, she ran out of breath to giggle and kissing was all she could manage.

Without breaking the kiss, Starsky ran his hands down her hips to her thighs. Then, with a bit of difficulty, he stood up, keeping her legs wrapped around him. He carried her blindly into the bedroom where he laid her down on the bed, following her down until he was lying on top of her.

Neither was truly aware when the clothes came off. It seemed that suddenly clothing was no longer a barrier as they made love for the first of several times that night.

*******************************

Meanwhile, Lee’s roommate, Emma Knight, was having the same kind of luck at their house with Starsky’s partner and best friend, Ken Hutchinson.

“Uh…wow!” Hutch said once he caught his breath.

“I know!” Emma agreed wholeheartedly. “But we never got to eat dinner.”

“Should I get dressed and we can eat?”

Emma grinned. “I’d just settle for getting off the kitchen floor. It was fine a couple of minutes ago, but the linoleum is a bit cold.”

Hutch grinned and stood up, holding a hand out for Emma. She stood up and put her arms around his neck.

“Let’s go have a shower and get cleaned up and then we can have dinner, okay?”

“Last one in has to scrub my back,” Hutch said as he took off for the bathroom.

*****************************

The next morning, Lee was getting dressed as Starsky came up behind her. “Think Emma appreciated havin’ the house to herself yesterday?”

She leaned back against him as she felt his arms encircle her waist. “I’m sure. She had this romantic candlelit dinner planned for Ken. He’s probably still asleep over there.”

Starsky crossed his arm over her to look at his watch. “Nah, he’s probably been up and had his mornin’ run already.”

“You think Emma’d leave him with enough energy to go for a morning run?” Lee asked mischievously.

Starsky chuckled as he nuzzled her neck. “Probably right. He’s probably still sacked out.”

“If she didn’t wake him herself.”

“If it’s anything like the way you woke me this mornin’,” Starsky said. “He’s probably gone back to sleep.”

Lee laughed.

********************************

Meanwhile, Hutch had indeed gone back to sleep.

********************************

“You ready to go?” Starsky said as he stood by the front door.

“Yeah,” Lee said as she shoved her hairbrush into her purse. “But could you drop me at the mall? I gotta get Emma’s birthday gift.”

“What’re you gettin’ her?”

“There’s this dress she’s had her eye on for weeks now. She tries it on every time we go, looks at the price tag, and says, ‘when it goes on sale, it’s mine.’”

“So, has it gone on sale yet?”

“Not really, but the store is doing this store-wide fifteen percent off sale. So I figured, why not?”

“That’s cool,” Starsky said, giving her a kiss. “I oughta get her a little somethin’ too. Any ideas?”

Lee shrugged, “I only know what I’m gonna get her. She does collect koala bears.”

“Koala bears?”

“Yeah, she went to Australia about 7 or 8 years ago and has been obsessed with them ever since. Stuffed animals, figurines, pictures, you name it. You haven’t seen ‘the koala room’ in our basement yet, have you?”

Starsky chuckled, “Nope, but that’s not a bad idea for a gift. When is her birthday anyway?”

“Three weeks from Tuesday.”

“Hutch know?”

Lee nodded, “He’d better if he knows what’s good for him.”

Starsky laughed and the two of them headed out to the Torino.

******************************

As they pulled up outside the mall, Lee got out of the Torino.

“You want me to come with you?” Starsky asked. “Or you gonna want me to pick you up or somethin’?”

She smiled and shook her head. “Nah, our house is only about a mile and a half from here. It’s a half-hour walk and since I know I’m gonna be stopping at the Hagen Daaz stand, I figure I’m gonna need the exercise.”

Starsky laughed. “We still on for tonight?”

“I think so. I have to talk to Emma and see if it’s still good for her and Hutch, but it should be okay.”

“Great, I’ll see you at seven, then!”

She grinned, blew him a kiss and went into the mall.

******************************

Lee’s shopping was successful and, after a brief stop at the gift-wrap department and the Hagen Daaz stand, she decided to stop in the restroom before she began the walk home.

That was a mistake.

******************************

As she finished her business in the little stall, she heard someone else come into the restroom. She didn’t think anything of it. When she heard the sound of a lock being turned, she assumed it was in one of the other stalls – also a mistake.

She came out of the stall and headed over to wash her hands. That was when he grabbed her.

She felt a hand come over her mouth and the point of a knife in her throat.

“Scream, and I cut your throat right here and now, understand?” Came the harsh whisper in her ear.

She nodded slightly. She suddenly realized that the lock that she heard was the lock on the inside of the restroom door. The one that was locked when the mall was closed or the restrooms were being cleaned.

“Now, we’re gonna have some fun,” he whispered to her as he maneuvered her to the ground, straddling her. “You can make this hard or you can make this easy. Make it hard and I leave you dead. Make it easy and I’ll consider not killing you. Understand?”

Lee closed her eyes in terror and prayed for a quick end to this nightmare.

******************************

It was more than an hour later that the man decided that he’d had enough fun. He unlocked the door and carefully slipped out, leaving Lee naked, bruised, bleeding and huddled in a tight ball next to the sink.

Almost immediately, someone came in. “FINALLY! I thought maintenance was gonna have this bathroom closed all day! I…” the woman’s voice trailed off as she saw the terrified woman on the ground. “Dear GOD!” She turned and bolted from the room yelling for security at the top of her lungs.

*******************************

Hutch came into the kitchen. “You really should have woken me sooner. It’s nearly 1:30 already!”

“You were sleeping so peacefully, I hated to wake you,” Emma said with a smile. “Besides, with the afternoon I’ve got planned for you, you need your strength.”

“Isn’t Lee coming home soon?” Hutch said with a look at the clock.

“Yeah, and? I was gonna have you move some furniture. What were you thinking?”

Hutch stood there with his mouth open, but no sound was coming out.

Emma grinned. “She knows enough to not come in if the bedroom door is closed. You didn’t actually think I was going to make you move furniture when there are so many more fun things to do today, did you?”

“You’re insatiable, you know that?”

She walked over and slipped her arms around his neck. “And you wouldn’t have me any other way, would you?”

Hutch chuckled and was leaning down for a kiss when the phone rang.

“Ignore it,” he said.

She gave him a quick kiss. “When you run your own business, you can’t afford to ignore it.”

She pulled out of his embrace and went to the phone. “Hello? Yes, this is Emma Knight. Yes, I know her. Is there a problem?”

Hutch was watching her curiously. He walked over to her as he saw her expression change from businesslike to terrified in seconds.

“Oh my God! Where is she now? Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Thanks for calling.” In a daze, she went to hang up the phone. She missed and the receiver clattered to the floor.

“Emma? You okay? What was it?” Hutch came up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder.

She turned and threw herself into his arms.

“What? What happened?” Hutch was really worried as he felt her sobs start. “Come on Baby, what’s wrong?”

That was the security office of Bay City Mall,” she said in a shaky voice. “They…uh…they found Lee in the restroom.”

Hutch felt his heart drop. “Found her?”

“She…she…oh God! She’s been raped! They’re taking her to the hospital. I’ve gotta get over there!”

“I’ll drive,” Hutch said as he grabbed his jacket.

***********************************

Starsky was dozing on his couch when he heard someone let himself in. He sat up and saw Hutch standing there looking like he was about to drop.

“Hutch? Hey Babe, you okay? What’s the matter?” Starsky stood up and crossed the room to steady his friend.

“Uh…Starsk? I think you’d better sit down.”

Starsky hesitantly sat on the edge of the sofa and looked up at the blond man standing in front of him.

Slowly, quietly, Hutch told Starsky what had happened to his girlfriend.

*************************************

“SON OF A BITCH! SON OF A GODDAMNED BITCH!!!!!!!” Starsky yelled at the top of his lungs as his hand swung round, catching a vase on the table behind the sofa. The crash it made when it hit the floor seemed to add emphasis to the emotion of the moment.

Hutch watched his partner rant. He stood quietly, knowing Starsky had to get the initial violence out of his system before he could face Lee in the ER.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Starsky turned to face his partner. “How could someone DO that to her?”

“I don’t know, Starsk,” Hutch said quietly. “I just don’t know. You want me to drive you to the hospital? I left Emma there with Lee.”

“Yeah, sure,” Starsky started towards the door. Then turned anguished eyes back to Hutch. “How am I s’posed to do this, Hutch? We see rape victims all the time in our line of work, but the thought that it’s Lee… I don’t know what…”

Hutch moved forward and put his arms around the distraught man. “It’s gonna be alright, Starsk. Just be there for her, that’s all you can do. Let her know you’re there and that she can lean on you.”

“Hutch, I just wanna find that bastard and…”

“I know you do,” Hutch whispered. “So do I. Just try not to let her see that side of you. She doesn’t need to be upset any more than she is. If she’s worried about you going off half-cocked to do something stupid, she’ll probably have even more problems.”

“I know, Hutch, but…”

“But nothing! If you have to vent, do it alone, or at me. Don’t let her see it. You understand me?”

Starsky took a deep breath and nodded against Hutch’s shoulder. Then he pulled back and said, “Okay, let’s go.”

*****************************

Starsky walked the corridor of the hospital with Hutch, who stayed by his side, watching him, noting the restraint on his face as he held his boiling emotions intact.

“Wait here and I’ll find out where they’ve got her. You going to be okay?” Hutch asked, a supportive hand on his best friend’s shoulder.

Starsky nodded. “Yeah, I just want t’see her.”

Hutch nodded and Starsky watched the tall blond leave, then began staring at the walls around him; waiting. He took a deep breath, hoping that what he feared the most was somehow just a bad dream. As nurses and hospital staff passed by him in the pale green hallway, he realized that it wasn’t going to be that easy.

*****************************

Hutch walked over to the admissions desk, spoke to the lady who sat behind it, and then turned and walked up the hallway.

‘Must be bad. Shit,’ he thought to himself, finding that Lee had not been moved upstairs, but instead was still in one of the emergency rooms. He walked quickly down the hallway, spotting Emma as she stood outside the room marked ER5.

He walked up behind her and gently placed a loving hand on her shoulder, startling her out of the daze she was in staring at the closed door. When she turned to face him, it took all his training to keep from showing the worry that came to him immediately. She’d obviously been crying, and her face visibly showed the strain of her worry.

When she saw him, she fell immediately into his arms, sobbing almost uncontrollably as she finally had someone to lean on.

“Oh God, Hutch! They’ve been in and out of there for over two hours now! They’re not telling me anything, and they won’t let me see her, and, and …”

“Shhh, come on honey, shhh. She’ll be okay, she will. She’s strong and she’s healthy …” Suddenly Emma jerked out of his hold, fire in her tearing eyes as she looked at him intensely.

“How would YOU know? How could YOU possibly know what that poor girl is going through in there?! She was RAPED! Damnit! She was … “ Hutch grabbed her and held her tight. It was all he could do. As she fought his hold briefly, he closed his eyes, wishing there was something, anything he could do to turn back time. Suddenly she pushed herself away from him.

“I gotta find out what’s going on! Where the hell is that doctor?” She tried to speak and breathe at the same time, her words coming out in gasps as she attempted unsuccessfully to regain control.

“It’s okay, baby, it’s alright. I know.” Hutch tried to gather her into his arms again, but she pulled away angrily.

“I’m gonna get some answers if I have to beat the hell out of every nurse here,” Emma said as she turned away.

“Hey, what’s going on? Where’s Lee?” Starsky asked quietly, as if almost afraid of their answer. “I couldn’t wait down there any more. I was going out of my mind. Is, is she, how is she?”

Emma just shook her head and stalked off. Starsky’s eyes widened in fear as he looked at Hutch.

“She’s still in there. We haven’t heard anything yet. Emma’s been out here the whole time,” Hutch told him, knowing he needed to hear something.

The door opened behind them, and they turned abruptly to see who was coming out. A very haggard looking nurse walked out, looking angered by the people standing in front of her. Within seconds her hand was firmly planted on her hip.

“I’m sorry but you’re going to have to go down to the waiting room. We can’t have people just standing in the hallways blocking up things and …”

“Look, I ain’t going nowhere until I find out how my lady’s doing in there. Now you either you tell me how she is or get the hell out of my way!” Hutch’s hand tried to restrain Starsky, but he shook it off, ready to walk through fire. His path was immediately blocked by a very tired looking doctor who stood in front of him.

Emma came running back at this point with an expression that made Starsky’s fury look like a grin. Hutch noticed and put an arm around her before she could do anything he knew she’d regret.

“It’s alright, Sally. They’re fine. I’ll take care of this,” the doctor said, dismissing the nurse. He looked at the three very worried people in front of him. “Are you family?”

“Yes.” Starsky answered instantly. The doctor nodded his head.

“Let’s go to my office. It’s just down the hall from here.” He quickly ushered them through the hallway.

When they arrived, the doctor sat behind his desk and placed Lee’s file on it. Emma sat in one of the chairs in front of him, and Hutch stood strongly behind her, his hands on her shoulders. Starsky was fidgeting, unable to sit down or even stand still.

“Doctor, how is she? Why won’t anyone tell us anything?” Emma asked with a quivering voice.

“We were able to confirm the rape and take samples, which we’ve already sent to the lab. The attack was of a brutal, violent nature, but she’s going to be all right, physically. She’s suffered some cuts and contusions and a little tearing, and she’s pretty bruised up, but I see no problem in her recovering, in that aspect.”

“And?” Starsky asked, his tone a cross between anger and fear. The doctor’s eyes looked up at him before they fell back down on the closed file on his desk.

“She’s in shock. So far she’s been totally unresponsive to any attempts we’ve made to bring her out of it. Don’t misunderstand this; it’s a perfectly natural defense mechanism for the body after such a traumatic experience. She’s just come back from hell.”

“I want to see her, now!” Emma demanded.

“She’s being moved to a private room as we speak. She’s heavily sedated. I’m hoping that after some rest, she might be more responsive and come back to us. As soon as she’s situated, I’ll allow one visitor at a time. Just don’t go in there expecting too much. Her recovery is going to be a very hard one.”

Hutch watched as Emma began crying again and Starsky’s eyes showed more hurt than he had seen in a very long time. Somehow, he knew this was just the beginning.

*****************************

Emma walked into Lee’s room and found herself wanting to scream in anguish at the sight before her. Looking at the form that was once vibrant and full of life, she now saw a lifeless soul, lost, bruised, and pale in drugged sleep. Taking a deep breath, she sat down on the bed and took her friend’s hand. Even in her medicated state, the hand which Emma squeezed tightly was pulled away. As tears formed in her eyes, Emma, trying desperately to think straight and sound rational, began talking to Lee, talking about anything and everything except why she was here.

******************************

Hutch watched the pacing form that stomped in front of him. Starsky was wound so tightly that he looked as if he might pounce something or someone at any given moment. When Captain Dobey walked in, he almost felt an urge to stand between him and Starsky.

“Why the hell didn’t someone call me?” Dobey bellowed, his face showing his concern.

“Sorry if I wasn’t thinking about notifying my Captain about my girlfriend bein’ raped!” Starsky sneered, spittle coming out between clenched teeth in his efforts to be quiet.

“Starsky …”

“Yeah Cap, I know. I’m sorry,” Starsky told him, regretting his reply immediately.

The Captain lowered his eyes. “How’s she doing?”

“Not too good. The doctor says she’s in shock and he’s got her sedated. It was pretty brutal. Emma’s with her now,” Hutch told him, keeping his eyes on Starsky. “They got any leads on this bastard yet?”

“We’ve got the surveillance videos from the mall at the station and they’re being looked at right now. I’ve also got men over there now, interviewing some of the store personnel and the security who was on duty this morning. Hopefully someone will remember something or …”

“Security?” Starsky fired up, “That’s a friggin’ joke! If they’d had proper security around there then this shit woulda never happened! Aw, who am I kidding? I should’ve been there! I should’ve never dropped her off! All she wanted to do was go get a birthday present for Emma and instead of goin’ with her I took my lazy ass back home and napped on the couch, and …”

“Starsk,” Hutch began, standing beside his best friend, grabbing him into a bear hug, half for support and half to restrain him, “It wasn’t your fault, buddy. Come on now, it wasn’t …”

“No,” came the meek whisper from behind them as Emma walked in, “It was mine. Oh my God, she went to get a birthday present? I wondered why she’d be at the mall instead of … It’s my fault!” Emma ran out of the waiting room and down the hall, and Hutch was behind her in seconds, grabbing her to a halt. Emma’s sobs were uncontrollable as she slid down the wall, crying her eyes out for her best friend. Hutch held her tightly.

“You didn’t see her, Ken! She looks so lost, so hurt! She opened her eyes and didn’t even see me; she just…she’s just a shadow of what she was! I want to kill that bastard for what he did to her!”

A nurse walked up to them as they huddled in the floor, but Hutch motioned to her that it was okay, and she reluctantly stepped back a bit to let him to handle the situation. Slowly he lifted Emma to her feet and walked her back into the waiting room, he on one side of Emma and the nurse on the other. Starsky and Dobey were standing there, not knowing what to say.

“I gotta go see her,” Starsky began, “I’m going to go nuts if I don’t see her!” his eyes pleaded with the nurse, who nodded, letting him go. He wasted no time making his exit.

“I gotta sit down,” Emma told Hutch as she pulled him towards one of the couches. Once she was situated, the nurse left quickly then returned with a cup of water. She accepted it gratefully, holding on with both hands as the cup shook violently within them.

“Emma?” Hutch asked, noticing the glazed look of her eyes.

She didn’t answer him. As Dobey walked towards them, the cup fell from her hands and she pitched forward off the couch to the floor.

“Emma!”

******************************

Starsky stood in front of the door to Lee’s room, his hand outstretched, fingertips touching the door handle. He took a very deep breath, trying to regain a bit of composure before going in. Feeling successful, he opened the door and walked inside.

Even with all his cop’s training and experiences on the force, he still wasn’t prepared enough for the sight before him.

Lee was lying in the bed, eyes open, staring at nothing. Her face was pale and bruised, a little swollen, and her body was wrapped around itself, as if she were trying to protect it from the air that surrounded her. Blankets covered her shivering body, and tears streamed down her face silently.

It took Starsky a couple of minutes to recover from the sight of her. His eyes were stinging as he stood over her, and he tried very hard to fight his own tears back.

“Lee? Lee baby, it’s me, David.”

No response. No recognition in her eyes.

“Lee? Sweetheart, I’m here, and …” He wanted to tell her everything was going to be alright, that he was there to protect her, but scolded himself, knowing all that was too late. Instead he laid his hand on her shoulder.

He wasn’t prepared for her reaction.

A blood-curdling scream came out of Lee, and she defensively threw herself away from him, landing on the floor as the IV ripped away from her arm. As he instinctively ran around the bed towards her, she screamed even more, huddling herself into a corner as her hysteria intensified. She wasn’t even seeing him. The only thing she saw was her own terror.

A couple of nurses came rushing in at the sounds of the woman, and they ushered Starsky outside while they tended to her. Quickly her doctor came in and brushed past Starsky in his hurry to aid Lee.

When the doctor returned outside of the room with Starsky, he put a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m afraid I had to sedate her. Can you tell me what happened before this episode occurred?”

“I, I caused it. I put my hand on her shoulder and she, oh God, she just … I know better, I’ve seen this before,” Starsky stuttered.

“You have?” the doctor asked quickly.

“Yeah, I’m a cop. I’ve seen too many brutal attacks like this, and I know better than to try personal contact with someone who’s just been assaulted, like putting salt to a wound, but I just, I wanted to let her know I was there, and …”

“It’s all right. You’ve seen this sort of thing before, but it’s very hard when you’re standing on the personal side of the crime. Frankly, at this point, any reaction from her is a good sign. We’ll see how she’s doing after the sedative wears off, and we’ll take slow steps from there.” The doctor smiled sadly at the man before him as the last remaining nurse came out of the room. “You can go back in and be there for her now if you’d like. Talk to her, let her know you’re there.”

Starsky nodded, thanking the man before he walked back through the door.

******************************

“HEY, WE NEED SOME HELP IN HERE!” Hutch yelled as he cradled Emma’s lifeless form. “Hey Baby, come on, you okay?”

Emma stirred slightly, but didn’t wake up.

Just then, a couple of nurses came running over. Hutch felt hands pulling him away from Emma. He started to resist until he saw that he’d just be in their way. He reluctantly stood up and watched as a gurney was brought over and Emma’s limp form was lifted onto it.

“What happened?” a doctor addressed the small group of people in the waiting room.

“I dunno,” Hutch answered. “She was upset and then she just collapsed.”

“Doctor?” a nurse called. “She’s got a Medic-Alert bracelet…diabetic…”

“Oh hell!” Hutch exclaimed. “I don’t think she’s eaten anything since breakfast!” He looked at his watch; it was nearly 5 pm.

“I need a blood-glucose level now!” the doctor yelled as they wheeled her out of the waiting room. “Have a glucose IV standing by…let’s get moving!”

*******************

Emma’s eyes fluttered open and confusion set in, not recognizing where she was through her blurry eyes. She could hear someone talking to her, calling her name, and as she focused on the voice, she looked towards it. Finally her vision became clear, and she saw Hutch standing over her.

“Ken?”

“Hey baby,” he began, smiling at her, “you gave me quite a scare! How’re you feeling?” he asked, stroking her cheek with his hand.

“I, I … what happened?”

“You collapsed. Your blood sugar took a nosedive and well, you hadn’t eaten all day. Thank goodness we were already at the hospital.”

“I had the worst nightmare,” she began, “it was about Lee and … did you say hospital?” She looked intensely at him for a moment, and then looked away as tears formed in her eyes. “It wasn’t a dream, was it?”

“I’m sorry honey. Lee’s here. It happened.”

Suddenly Emma sat up, ready to jump off from the gurney when she swayed, caught only by Hutch’s quick actions before taking a nose dive into the floor.

“Hey! You’re not going to do Lee any good if you make yourself sick, or worse! You already came too close today … you scared me to death. Now the doctor said you could be released as soon as your blood sugar level is normal. Please, for my sake, please don’t do something that could put you in danger like that again? I love you, and Lee loves you, and we both need you. Lee is going to need you strong and healthy. God, Emma … am I asking too much? You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of Lee, and that means waiting here until the doctor releases you.”

Emma sighed deeply, looking into the angelic blue eyes that pleaded with her. She nodded yes at Hutch, who in return hugged her tightly, then promptly laid her back down on the gurney.

******************************

The following day a female officer was sent to try and get a statement from Lee, who still, for the most part, was unresponsive. The officer made it clear that she would come by each day until Lee was ready, no matter how long it took. There would be no forcing of statements until Lee was ready.

Starsky stayed with her constantly, leaving her side only for Emma to be there, whose own recovery was being well monitored by the hospital staff as well as Hutch.

Hutch had also taken on the duty of taking care of Starsky, who would not eat and hardly slept from his own guilt and worry over Lee. If it hadn’t been for Hutch pushing him into it, he feared Starsky, too, would be down.

After three days, Lee still was not coherent, blocking everything and everyone around her. Emma looked exhausted, for that matter, so did Starsky. So did Hutch. But he had to be strong for them. He surprised himself when he was able to talk them both into heading for the cafeteria, promising to look after Lee in their absence. At no time had she ever been left alone, but this was the first time he went in to actually sit with her.

Feeling a bit awkward as he walked in, Hutch soon felt nothing but pain as his heart broke at the sight before him. He’d seen her, but he really hadn’t looked at her. There was a sadness and hopelessness that he saw in her blank stare.

“Hi,” he said, looking towards the window where she seemed to be staring. “That’s a beautiful sunset, isn’t it? I love to watch the sunsets. The different colors as the night takes over are kind of comforting, like a warm blanket that gets pulled up around you.” He took a deep breath, then started again. “You know, Emma and Starsky are just beside themselves worried about you. They…we all love you very much. We’d turn the world up-side-down if we could just make it all go away for you.”

Tears started streaming down Lee’s face, and stifled sobs soon followed.

“I know you can’t see it, or believe it, but things will get better again. We’re all going to be here for you. We’ll protect you and keep you from harm; did you know Emma had an alarm system installed in the house? She said she just wanted to make sure you felt safe. And …”

“Why?” the word was barely audible, and as Hutch looked away from the window over at Lee, he had to wonder if he had imagined her voice.

“Why did he do this to me?” Her lips trembled as she spoke, her cheeks were wet from the tears that fell down them.

Carefully, Hutch got up from his chair and walked beside her bed, gently lowering the bed rail down.

“Lee?”

She looked up at him, recognizing him as her eyes met his. “Why did he hurt me like this?” She looked at him with the innocence of a child, speaking to him with hardly a voice at all. “What did I do?” Her anguish overcame her and she began sobbing fitfully. Hutch gently sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for her reaction. When there wasn’t one, he called to her, his hands extending towards her. She looked at him then fell into his arms, crying almost hysterically as her sobs shook him with her.

“Oh God, honey … you didn’t do anything! It’s not your fault! Shhh, shhh … it’s not your fault,” Hutch comforted her, tears forming in his own eyes, sad for this woman and her pain, yet relieved that she was finally coming back to them.

******************************

When Starsky and Emma arrived back in her room, they found Lee still sobbing in Hutch’s hold. Hutch saw them, nodding as he disengaged his arms from around her. “Hey,” he began, “there’s a couple of people that’d like to see you.”

Before Hutch could get completely up from the hospital bed, Emma was there beside her, holding on tightly to her best friend as tears of relief poured down her face. Both women cried while Starsky watched and Hutch pushed the call button for the nurse.

Emma felt Lee pull a little away from her and noticed that she was seeing Starsky there in front of her. Finally she was able to see them, to know that they were all here for her. Reluctantly, she slid away from Lee to allow Starsky in her place. He stood back, waiting, fear from the last contact he’d made with her holding him back, scared of upsetting her again. Lee looked at him through swollen eyes, then held out her arms to him. He was there in less than a second.

******************************

As the doctor and nurses came in and surrounded her, Emma, Starsky and Hutch went outside. Hutch excused himself call Dobey to let him know the encouraging news. He was glad to hear the Captain was still at work, and happily told him that Lee was coming out of her shock. Captain Dobey was relieved to hear the news, but was somewhat subdued.

“Cap, is something wrong? Has something happened?” There was a minute or two of silence before Hutch heard the Captain drawing a deep breath.

“There was another rape this afternoon. It was at a little plaza about ten miles from where Lee was assaulted. Looks to be the same MO: Locked the victim in a restroom with him. Hutch, this one, the victim? He killed her.”

“Damn,” Hutch whispered before quietly hanging up the phone. He rubbed his tired eyes and leaned against the wall for support.

******************************

Lee was released from the hospital six days later. She was healing physically, but mentally she had a long road ahead of her. Emma, Starsky and Hutch had made a ‘schedule’ of sorts, making sure that she was never left alone at any time of the day or night.

Screams filled the darkness every night as vivid recollections taunted Lee’s dreams. Starsky was always there for her when she’d awaken, almost living there with the women as he stayed in the guestroom. She remained slightly sedated during the day.

Emma was running the catering company very well, especially considering she was doing everything. The only good thing about her running it alone was the help their many friends offered freely and the light workload they had scheduled for this month. It was an awful lot to handle, but she was more than willing to deal with the responsibility.

Starsky and Hutch worked hard on the rapist/murder case, now dubbed “The Restroom Rapist” by the local newspapers. They had feelers out with every snitch, friend, and foe that they knew, and searched without fail for any clues to catch this lunatic.

Starsky wanted him bad. As if he could smell the rapist’s blood.

Now all they all needed was a lead.

******************************

Huggy Bear looked up from where he was wiping the bar. What he saw were two men with a mission.

“Hey Fellas,” he said to the two detectives as they sat down on the bar. “What’s shakin’?”

“We were hoping you could tell us, Huggy,” Hutch answered. “You got any idea on this guy hitting girls in the malls?”

“Man, Hutch, I ain’t heard nothin’ lately. What ‘bout you guys? You get anything?”

Starsky got up abruptly and stalked over to the door. “I’m gonna wait in the car.”

Hutch watched him go sympathetically, and then turned back to Huggy.

“What’s with him?” Huggy asked the blond detective.

Hutch sighed. “The doctors couldn’t come up with anything useful from samples they took from Lee.”

“Nothin’?” Huggy asked, incredulously. “I thought medical science was better ‘n that.”

“It’s not medicine,” Hutch said sadly. “It’s Starsky.”

“Starsky?”

“Lee’s on the pill, so he hasn’t been using…”

“And the samples they got could just as easily have been his, right?” Huggy finished.

Hutch nodded. “And it’s killing Starsky. He’s blaming himself for our lack of clues.”

“You gotta be kiddin’!” Huggy said. “How could he even THINK it might be his fault?”

“He’s frustrated and angry and he doesn’t know which way is up. The lack of evidence just added fuel to the fire. I mean, deep down, he knows it’s not his fault, but he’s having trouble focusing on anything. Lee is a basket case and it’s killing him. He’s got two places to direct his anger: the rapist and himself. Right now, the rapist isn’t available.”

“Man,” Huggy said, shaking his head. “When you get that bastard, hit ‘im once for me, will ya?”

“Oh yeah,” Hutch said angrily. “Better believe I will.”

*******************************

Later that night, Hutch was tending to his greenhouse when there was a knock at the door. When he opened it, he saw Emma standing there holding a picnic basket.

“Hey Mister, will you take dinner in exchange for a hug?” she said softly.

Hutch smiled, took the picnic basket from her, put it down on the floor and opened his arms. She went into his embrace gratefully and he held her gently, stroking her hair with one hand.

“How’re you holding up?” Hutch asked softly.

“I’m not,” she said ruefully. “That’s why I’m here. I need you to hold me up for a bit.”

“I won’t let you fall,” he promised as he kissed the top of her head.

Emma took a deep breath and pulled back with a somewhat forced smile. “Hey, I made a vegetable lasagna that I’ve been told is to die for. We should eat before it gets too cold.”

“Starsky’s with Lee?”

She nodded. “He’s staying the night again. Can I stay with you tonight? I’ve spent the last week with Starsky comforting Lee in the middle of the night and…”

“And you want someone to comfort you for a change?” Hutch finished the thought.

Emma nodded. “I can’t take much more of this, Ken. I can’t even get her to go out to the mailbox! I mean I know you can’t force these things, but she won’t take two steps out of the house. I don’t know what to do anymore. She needs help. More help than Dave or I can give. I just don’t know how to get it to her. Especially if I can’t get her out of the house to take her to it.”

Hutch thought for a few minutes. “I’ve got a friend who owes me a favor. She’s a psychologist who specializes in crisis counseling. I think she might make a house call for the first appointment if I ask her.”

“Her, huh?” Emma said with a spark of mischief in her eyes. “Should I be worried?”

Hutch reached up and gave her nose a playful tap. “You should be worried if you think I go for 50-something married women who always try to psychoanalyze me every time they see me.”

Emma laughed. Hutch grinned and hugged her tightly, relieved to hear the happy sound.

*************************************

Lee looked up from where she was reading a book to see Starsky standing there watching her.

“Hey,” she said with a wan smile.

“Hey yourself. You doin’ okay?”

She shrugged. “I’ve been better.”

“Hey, you wanna go get the mail?” Starsky asked with a hopeful look on his face.

“I dunno,” Lee said doubtfully.

“Hey, you’ve got your own armed police escort,” he answered. “It’s just to the mailbox and back. I ain’t askin’ you to go to Cleveland or nothin’.”

“That’s good, because I wouldn’t go to Cleveland.”

“So, whaddaya say?”

Lee thought long and hard before looking up at Starsky and nodding hesitantly.

“That’s my girl!” Starsky said with a full-blown lopsided grin. Then he held out his arm to her. “Shall we go m’lady?”

Lee gave him a real smile this time as she stood up to take his arm.

Starsky opened the front door and Lee balked on the threshold. “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Yes you can,” Starsky said softly. “You can do anything you want.”

“I WANT to go hide in bed for another year or two,” she said quietly.

“You do that, and he wins,” Starsky said just as quietly.

Lee looked at him with a mixture of fear and anger on her face. She knew which ‘he’ Starsky was talking about. She would be damned if she let him win! She took a deep breath and stepped out of the house.

*********************************

Five minutes later, it was with a sense of triumph that Lee returned to the house after her trip to the mailbox.

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Starsky said with a grin.

Lee’s smile faded. “Yes it was! I can’t believe this! I’m sitting here scared to death to go to the mailbox! I’m scared to go to sleep at night because I just keep seeing him standing over me. Did you know, this morning, I saw the bag from the mall and suddenly, I was there and it was happening all over again? I got scared of a GODDAMNED SHOPPING BAG!!!”

Starsky watched her pacing up and down. He wanted to take her into his arms and assure her that everything would be alright, but he knew that she needed to go off for a bit, so he let her rant.

“Why did he do this to me? WHY? I mean, what did I do to deserve this?”

“You didn’t do nothin’,” Starsky said softly. “It wasn’t your fault.”

She took a deep breath. “I know up here,” she said, tapping her head, “that it’s not my fault. It’s just down here,” tapping her chest, “that I’m having trouble convincing. I keep replaying it in my mind and every time, I come up with some way I could have gotten out of it. Why didn’t I fight harder? Do you know, that there was a point where I was wishing to die? He was on me and in me and I just wanted him to kill me and have done with it! Sometimes, I still wish he would’ve killed me.”

Starsky’s eyes widened in horror. “You can’t mean that!”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do mean it! I’m sick and tired of being scared all the time. I hate having to sleep with the lights on. I hate being scared to close my eyes when I kiss you. I hate being terrified at the thought of doing all sorts of things that I used to do all the time! Sometimes I just think it’d be easier to just end it all.”

“NO!” Starsky said firmly, taking her by the shoulders. “That ain’t an easy way out, that’s a coward’s way out! You ain’t no coward, I know that! I know you don’t believe this, but things’ll get easier with time. Just trust me, okay? I’ll be here for you. Emma’s here for you. Hutch’ll be here for you. We ain’t gonna let you go, you understand me? We’ll help you get through this, but you gotta stop talkin’ like that! Okay?”

She moved into his embrace, holding him tightly. “Okay,” she whispered.

Starsky held her and rested his cheek against the top of her head. “That’s all I wanted to hear.”

****************************

The vegetable lasagna was fantastic; and much to Emma’s surprise, she was famished, making Hutch happy to see her eating so well. Most times here lately, her meals were forced upon her, feeling too much worry over Lee to think of taking care of herself with something as simple as food.

Once they had finished eating, Hutch had to practically restrain Emma from getting up and doing the dishes.

“You’re not here to take care of me, young lady. You’re here so that I can take care of you.”

With that he coaxed her into joining him on the sofa, relaxing with one another as they listened to soft music and avoided the obvious topic of conversation that they both were thinking of.

Hutch watched Emma as she fell asleep in his arms. She had been through so much since they first met; first the robbery/attack at her house, then almost being shot to death, then getting pneumonia and being stalked and almost killed twice again. Now she was fighting demons of a different kind. Her best friend was brutally attacked. Raped. And she was feeling helpless in every effort she had made to help Lee, all the while trying to keep a brave face and run their business and act like everything was normal. She had suffered so much, yet blindly gave her all for her best friend.

He grinned slightly at the similarities between Emma and Lee with himself and Starsky. Friends to the end. Me and thee. No limits, no boundaries. And here he thought that only happened once in a lifetime.

Gently he slid himself out from under her, worried that his movements might wake her. But they didn’t. As he lifted the sleeping beauty into his arms, he realized that she was too tired to be awakened by his actions. She was simply exhausted.

He carried her into his bedroom and laid her across the bed, making the gentlest of moves as he took off her shoes and positioned her comfortably before pulling the blanket up around her. He sat across from her in a chair and watched her sleep; his own mind falling deep in thought.

Finally, he got up and quietly left the room, seating himself on the couch as he picked up the phone.

*****************************

When the phone rang beside Lee she awoke and jumped up from the recliner, finding herself confined by a blanket that had been placed around her. Panic took over before rational thought, and Starsky was there, helping her to cope as she became aware of where she was. He picked up the phone on the forth ring.

“Yeah.”

“Starsk. How’s everything going?”

“Hutch? Hey, uh, everything’s okay here. What’s going on?”

“Well, Emma’s asleep. She’s just totally exhausted and worn down, and I’m going to let her sleep until she wakes up on her own. I just wanted to let you know that she wouldn’t be back first thing in the morning, I think she’ll be sleeping for quite a while.”

“Yeah, I bet. I think I’ve been getting more sleep than she has.”

Well, listen, that’s not the only reason I called. Do you remember Elsie Simmons? The psychologist that used to come in the station now and then for …”

“For rape victims,” Starsky finished, watching Lee as she walked into the bathroom and closed the door, “I remember. You’re thinking she could help Lee?”

“Yeah, I really do.”

“Well, I got her to go out to the mailbox and back today and that was a pretty big step, I dunno about getting her to go to an office somewhere. She’s already canceled her follow-up appointment at the hospital and …”

“I think Elsie will come over there, given the circumstances. I was thinking of calling her and seeing if she’d stop by there in the morning. What do you think?”

Starsky sighed as he watched Lee return, her face showing clearly that she’d been crying again. “Yeah, let’s go for it.”

*****************************

The next morning found Emma still sleeping as Hutch disengaged himself from her, his arms firmly wrapped around her throughout the night. She had awakened only once, and much to his surprise, the only thing she wanted or needed at the time was him. She spent two hours showing him just how much he meant to her, and he had reciprocated whole-heartedly. He stood above the sleeping woman and watched her, knowing how much he was in love with her.

As he walked out into the kitchen, he continued to analyze the turns in his life that had brought him here to this moment. Here they’d just met only a few months ago, and he was totally, completely in love with Emma Knight. He smiled, grateful to have someone so special in his life, and thankful that life had given him such an opportunity. Selfishly, he was constantly worried about her, scared of the twists and turns his life had taken before; taking away the loves he had found in previous times. But those times seemed so far away now. He set up the coffee pot and turned it on, then walked into the bathroom, turning on the shower.

*****************************

Starsky awoke in Lee’s bed, finding himself alone. He sat up, noticing the clothing he’d worn the day before was now very wrinkled on his body, and was grateful he’d been keeping extra clothes here at their house. Then it occurred to him. Where was Lee? He got up quickly, knowing that during all this time since the rape had happened, Lee never was completely alone. So she was here somewhere, probably in the bathroom. Until he peeked in the half-open door and saw it was empty.

A little concerned, but not panicked, he descended the stairs, calling her name. When she didn’t answer, the panic began rising. He walked swiftly into the kitchen, making the swinging door sway rapidly in his wake.

“Lee? Lee!”

As he made his way around the house, he soon realized that he was alone. Or was he? It was just yesterday that she talked of ending it all, making him wince at the mere thought of that conversation. What if she had fallen victim to those demons that taunted her?

Starsky ran back up the stairs, fear choking him as he checked every room, calling her name. When he was back in her bedroom, he decided to make one more check of the bathroom before calling Hutch. He turned on the light switch and froze.

There was a note taped to the mirror with his name written clearly on top of it:

‘Dear David,

I couldn’t sleep last night. You were right when you said I was letting him win if I hurt myself. I’m letting him win now, hiding like a child – afraid of the world around me. I have to force myself to be brave, for you and everyone else, and for me.

So I’m sucking in all my fears and I’m taking another step. I’m going outside. Not just to the mailbox. I’m walking to the mall, and I’m going to face my fears head on. It’s almost time for it to open as I write this, and I’m going to be there when it does. It’s something I just have to do. I’m tired of hiding.

I’ll call you if I need you.

I love you very much,

Lee’

“Shit,” Starsky mumbled as he headed down the stairs, grabbing his jacket and pulling his keys from its’ pocket. He ran back up the stairs, getting his gun and holster from where it hung inside her closet and put them on quickly as he ran back down the stairs.

As he readied to go out the door, he turned around abruptly and grabbed the phone, dialing Hutch’s number. Hutch picked it up on the first ring.

“Hello?”

“Hutch, it’s me.”

“Hey pal, what’s up?” Hutch asked, still toweling his face after shaving.

“It’s Lee. She’s gone. Left me a note saying she was going to ‘face her fears’ and was walking over to the mall. She’s been so upset, she even talked about suicide yesterday, and now suddenly she’s walking herself to the mall! Hell, I just got her to go to the mailbox and now she’s, well, I’m on my way. I think maybe Emma should be there too. I don’t know what kinda shape she’s gonna be in and ...”

Hutch dropped the towel on the sofa and looked at Emma, who sleepily walked out from the bedroom, rubbing her eyes. “We’ll be right there.”

*****************************

Starsky pulled the Torino out of the driveway without haste, almost backing into a jogger that trotted down the sidewalk. Regaining his composure, he drove down the street towards the mall, looking for any sign of Lee along the way.

*****************************

Lee had to struggle with each step she took. When she’d left the house, she felt bold and brave and ready to prove to everyone, especially herself, that she could move beyond this horrific experience and let everyone else lead their own lives again.

With each step she took, the fear built up within her. She was outside. Unprotected. Totally alone. Still, she continued taking those steps … one after the other … each one more of a struggle than the last, but going forward.

She found comfort at the local convenience store that her path led by. Full of people and a police car out front, she decided to stop in and take a breath, hoping her confidence would build. When she left, she had a cup of coffee in one hand and a pack of cigarettes in the other. She hadn’t smoked since she was in high school trying to ‘fit in’, but the thought of having one appealed to her and she succumbed.

When she reached the mall she felt the trembling of her hands as she held firmly to the coffee cup. Her whole body shook as memories flooded her and flashed in visions reflecting that horrible day; the one she would never be able to erase.

Walking through the parking lot, she sat on the curb just in front of the entrance doors. Setting the coffee cup down beside her, she opened the cigarette pack and pulled one out, then lit the match. She inhaled the smoke deeply, fighting the choking sensation that threatened to overcome her lungs. She felt the rush of dizziness as she repeated inhaling several times, wishing it could somehow take away the gut-wrenching fear that was eating away at her. It didn’t.

She remembered Starsky and his smile when he dropped her off in front of those doors. Remembered walking past several stores and finally getting that dress Emma had wanted for so long. She remembered how good it felt to buy it, knowing how much Emma was going to love it. Then she remembered going into the bathroom. She closed her eyes, trying to block the memories that crashed around her, forcing her to see his face again and smell his stench.

An older woman broke her train of thoughts as she gently touched Lee on the shoulder, asking if she was all right. Lee nodded and thanked her for her concern, standing up as she took the last drag from her cigarette.

Dumping the cigarette butt into her almost empty coffee cup, she tossed it into a nearby garbage bin and walked into the mall.

*****************************

“Why in the world is Lee going to the mall? She wouldn’t even go to the mailbox the other day! Did she and Starsky have a fight? Is he forcing her to do something she’s not ready to do? If he did something to her I’ll wring his neck so help me! Did he coax her into this – what was he thinking!?” Emma’s questions were whizzing by Hutch a mile a minute, and now he was recognizing the anger that came through clearly, the same as that day in the hospital when her blood sugar level had dropped.

“Emma?” Hutch asked calmly, “Is your blood sugar dropping? Do you need to get something to eat?”

She was readying to rant a bit more when she noticed the quiet tone he offered in his words. Instead of going further in her sudden fury towards Starsky, she finished changing clothes and headed for the kitchen.

Hutch stood near, watching. Once she was done, she grabbed her shoes in a rush to leave and headed towards the door. “Come on, I’ll put them on in the car!”

*****************************

Lee walked into the mall, stifling the whimpers that tried to escape her. She felt like people were staring at her. As if each and every one of them knew what had happened to her. If she could just make it through this, she’d be alright; she knew it. She had to ‘get back up on the horse that threw her down’, so to speak. She had been nothing but a burden to her friends, and they never once complained or gawked or fussed about it. But she was a problem for them, and hated herself for it. She’d meant what she’d said to David; she had wished that bastard would’ve finished the job and just killed her. But when she actually realized it, well, it was then that she knew she had to take this drastic action. So here she was.

She had walked without purpose for a while in the mall, then suddenly stopped. A man walking behind her with bags from different stores collided into her, her stop so sudden he didn’t have time to step out around her. He apologized, but she didn’t hear him. She wasn’t hearing anything. All she could focus on was the woman’s restroom in front of her.

“Miss? Miss? Are you all right?” the man asked as he picked up his bags. Suddenly Lee realized what had happened and acknowledged him, apologizing for making him run into her. When he left, she still hadn’t moved, her eyes drawn to THAT place.

She sat nearby on a bench and lit another cigarette, staring at the door. Women wandered in and out of there, some with children. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs at them, telling them not to go in, but sat there, frozen.

‘Enough of this, Sheryl Lee Jacobs! You are no one’s coward! You go in there and face your fears and start LIVING again!’ she told herself, stamping the cigarette in the ashtray beside her. She had waited until no one was in there and no one was near. She was going to have to be alone to make this work, but was determined that she WOULD get through it.

*****************************

As Lee walked into the restroom, a man standing further down in the darkened end of the hallway smiled.

“So many women, so little time,” he snickered to himself as he walked towards the ladies’ room.

*****************************

Lee put a shaky hand on the sink to steady herself. Her whole body trembled. She looked around, tears streaming down her face as a slight whimper escaped her. Was she out of her mind, thinking she could come back to this place and all her pain and agony would magically disappear? She wasn’t thinking. No rational thoughts could come to mind as she stared at the empty bathroom and let all its’ haunting memories suck her down the drain.

As the bathroom door opened, she hid her face from the intruder, not wanting to answer anyone else asking her if she was alright.

Then she heard it.

The lock on the door clicked as it was latched, the sound from it unmistakable in her mind.

“Oh my God!” Her voice was a shrill as she turned and faced her assailant. Again.

When he saw her he laughed out loud. “Back for more? You little slut, turns you on, don’t it? Just couldn’t keep away from me, could you? No problem. If this is what you like then bitch, I sure as hell aim to please!”

Lee shook violently as she recognized his voice. His appearance had changed; he’d dyed his hair and shaved his face, but the smell, she’d never forget the stench from him that begged her to vomit.

“No!!!! God-damnit! NO!!!!” Lee screamed as she lunged for him, claws out as they made contact with his face. His knife was already aimed at her, and her onslaught had him forcing it into her flesh, the stabbing pain not stopping her from a screaming fit of rage at the animal who had done more damage to her than she could’ve ever imagined. The pain was sharp as the knife continued stabbing her, but she continued beating him, not even noticing the banging on the restroom door.

*****************************

Starsky had arrived only moments before. He walked briskly through the mall, never seeing her. But he did happen to see the man going into the room clearly marked ‘Women’.

As Starsky pounded on the steel door, security started arriving, trying to control this situation of the mad man trying to force his way in. Finally he flashed them his badge as he demanded the door be opened. But none of the guards had a key. Maintenance was called, then the police department with a request for back-up and an ambulance.

Starsky was trying to act somewhat professionally until he heard the scream. It was Lee! Immediately, he was throwing himself against the door, trying anything and everything to make it break open. Be it poor workmanship of the installation of the door, or the pure willpower evoked within Starsky at the sound of his lady’s distress, it finally broke free of its frame.

Within seconds, Starsky was facing the rapist, who had his arm around Lee’s neck, blood soaking the sweatshirt she wore, and he saw a knife pointed into her throat, threatening to kill her if anyone dared step forward.

Starsky aimed his gun carefully. “Drop the knife scumbag!”

“What’re you gonna do, Cop? Shoot her? You ain’t gonna risk hittin’ her, I know that.”

Starsky’s smile was feral. “I also know that if you kill her, I kill you…simple as that.”

“Starsky,” Hutch’s voice came from the door. “He’s not worth it.”

“He ain’t gonna hurt no other women,” Starsky said over his shoulder, never taking his eyes off the man who held Lee’s life in his hands.

“Starsky, you kill him in cold blood, you’re no better than he is. Don’t throw away your career on revenge.”

“How do you propose to get him to let Lee go?” Starsky asked.

“Well, Cop? You gonna lower your gun or what?” He raised Lee’s chin and put the knife against the skin of her neck to emphasize his point.

Starsky looked at Lee. She was barely conscious, but she met his gaze. “Do you trust me?”

She was barely able to answer, but she mouthed, ‘Yes. I love you.’

“You wanna keep her alive, you do as I say!”

“I let her go with you,” Starsky answered. “And we find her in a dumpster next week. No deal.”

“I swear I’ll do it!” he was getting nervous. The cops always backed down on TV. This cop wasn’t budging.

“I swear I will too,” Starsky said, cocking the gun.

“You asked for it!” he said as he began to exert pressure on the knife, making a drop of blood well up on Lee’s throat.

“So did you,” Starsky said in a dangerously quiet voice.

He pulled the trigger.

The man’s head all but exploded as it was thrown backwards. The knife went flying from his grip and Lee dropped like a stone as soon as the arm holding her up was no longer there.

As soon as the man hit the floor, Starsky was at Lee’s side, cradling her limp body in his arms and quietly begging her to live.

***************************

Emma meanwhile, was beside herself with worry. As soon as they had gotten to the restroom and heard Lee’s screams, Hutch pushed her back and said, “Stay out of the way. I don’t want you getting hurt.”

Emma tried to run into the restroom with him only to be pulled back by a mall security guard (who was overjoyed at having something to do other than chase kids out of the fountain). She was immediately pushed into a crowd of curious onlookers that was held back by a cordon of security officers.

As soon as she heard the shot, she ducked under a guard’s arm and bolted for the restroom. What she saw made her blood run cold.

There was a man on the floor with a bloody mess where his face used to be and Starsky was on the ground with Lee, who was losing more blood than it seemed like she could possibly have. She turned away from the horrid scene and buried her face in Hutch’s chest. Immediately, his arms came up around her.

“Sorry about that, officer,” one of the security guards said as he ran up to Hutch. “She just got away before we could stop her.”

“It’s okay,” Hutch said. “Just don’t let anyone else through until the ambulance and other officers arrive.”

“Sure thing,” the guard said. “They said the ambulance should be here in a couple of minutes.”

“Thanks,” Hutch said quietly as he held his lady in his arms and watched his partner doing the same.

***********************************

Starsky paced the hospital waiting room like a caged tiger. Hutch sat on a small love seat with Emma asleep on his shoulder.

“What’s takin’ so long?” Starsky said after a time. “They been in there for hours!”

“Relax Starsky,” Hutch said quietly, trying not to wake the exhausted woman resting against him. “She’ll be fine. She’s strong.”

“Is she?” Starsky turned on his partner. “How strong is she really? She was havin’ so much trouble accepting life again and now this happens! Hutch, she was wantin’ to DIE! What if she still wants that?”

“She’s not going to leave you like this,” Hutch said. “She loves you too much.”

“Does she?” Starsky sat down next to his partner. “When I got shot and my heart stopped that time…”

“Starsk,” Hutch said a little desperately, not wanting to relive that day.

“No, hear me out. When my heart stopped, I died. It was all there, the bright light, the loved ones and a sense of peace that I never knew existed. I wanted to stay, Hutch. I knew there was just pain waitin’ for me back here. I was so tempted…you have no idea how nice it felt…there ain’t no words to describe it. If you had been a minute later, I wouldn’t have stayed. You were outta sight and the peace and happiness were really what I thought I wanted. If I hadn’t seen you come back when you did…”

“You saw me come back?” Hutch said quietly. “How?”

Starsky shrugged. “I dunno. I just saw you…no…that ain’t right…I felt you. I felt your fear and your love and it pulled me back like nothin’ else could. I realized I couldn’t leave you like that. Me and thee to the end. When we go, it’ll be together. I can’t live without you and I’d be willin’ to bet you couldn’t go on much longer without me…although I’d want you to…I know you wouldn’t.”

“Starsky…” Hutch was practically in tears by now.

“What I’m sayin’ Hutch, is that are Emma and me enough of an incentive for her to stay?” Starsky stood up again. “After Terry, I swore I wouldn’t love anyone else as much as I loved her. I just discovered that ain’t possible. Hutch, what am I gonna do if she…”

“She WON’T!” Hutch said emphatically. “You’ve gotta keep faith. She’s not going to leave you. Not like this.”

“Detective Starsky?” The doctor’s voice startled the partners.

Starsky spun around to face the doctor as Hutch woke Emma.

“How is she?” Starsky asked anxiously.

The doctor sighed. “Well, the knife did surprisingly little damage. At the angle he was stabbing her, the knife slid across her ribs most of the time instead of doing damage to her heart or lungs.”

Starsky sighed with relief. “Then she’s gonna be okay?”

“I didn’t say that either,” the doctor answered. “There was some severe damage to her lower abdomen. She’s just been sent up to surgery. It’s going to be touch and go for a while.”

Starsky closed his eyes. “Then she’s dead.”

The doctor looked at him quizzically. “I didn’t say that, Detective. She’s got some of the best surgeons in the hospital working on her. There’s no reason to believe that she’s DEFINITELY going to die.”

Starsky just shook his head and turned away from the doctor. The doctor sighed and went back to the ER.

Hutch and Emma stood together looking at the grieving man in front of them.

“Starsky, listen to me,” Hutch said. “We aren’t gonna let her go without a fight, you understand? You said my love brought you back from the dead. Let your love bring her back.”

Starsky sighed and looked at his partner. “Thanks, Hutch,” he said quietly.

**********************************

The next morning saw Starsky and Emma asleep at Lee’s bedside. The ICU limited visitors to one at a time and only ten minutes at a time. However, once the doctors and nurses were advised of Lee’s mental state going into this mess, they decided that her morale would definitely improve if she had friends beside her at all times.

Starsky wasn’t sure what woke him up, but he sat up and rolled his head to get the kinks out of his neck. That’s when he felt it again. Someone was gently squeezing his hand. He looked over to Lee and saw her eyes watching him. He stood, reaching over and nudging Emma, who jumped up immediately.

“Hey Honey,” Starsky said with a smile. “Welcome back.”

“David?” she asked weakly.

Starsky looked down at the pale face staring back at him, looking pitifully around her briefly before looking back at him. He cupped his hand around her face, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead. “Yeah baby, we’re here and you’re gonna be just fine,” he told her, tears forming in his smiling eyes.

*********************************

Hutch came back to the hospital in time to see Emma and Starsky waiting outside of Lee’s room, fearing the worst from the tight hold they had on one another. Instead, he was pleasantly surprised.

When Emma saw him walking towards her, she almost leapt into his arms. “Lee just woke up. The doctor’s with her now but it looks good. He was smiling!”

Hutch looked over at Starsky, as if getting a second opinion. When Starsky grinned at his partner, Hutch sighed with relief.

As soon as the doctor came back out he told them she wasn’t out of the woods just yet, but her vitals were stabilized and getting stronger, he was ready to allow visitors as soon as the nurse was through changing her bandages and IVs. Emma looked at Starsky with hopeful eyes.

“You go ahead, Em,” he said, smiling at his girl’s best friend.

“Uh, not until you do something with this,” Hutch chimed in, handing Emma the leather satchel that held her insulin. Emma looked at him with surprise. In all her worrying over Lee, she hadn’t even thought about her own health and well-being. She excused herself, kissing him gently on the lips before walking away.

“So, where else you been?” Starsky asked, looking at his partner closely.

“Down at the station. I filled out the preliminary reports and found out who that scumbag was.”

“And?”

“Came from Washington state. Seems he had a spree going as he made his way down here. Name was Joey Bradley. Had warrants on him in four states.”

Starsky looked away from his partner in disgust. “How many?” he asked lowly.

“At least fifteen. All raped, four dead.”

“Shit.”

“Starsk, at least he can’t hurt anyone else now.”

“Yeah, well, that doesn’t make the fact that he got to Lee go away, now does it?”

“No, it doesn’t. But at least we know that thanks to you, he’ll never hurt another woman again.”

“Too little too late,” Starsky said, saddened eyes looking at his partner. “I’m gonna take a leave of absence. I want to be with her, help her, ya know?”

“Yeah, I already knew. So did Dobey. He’s already put the paperwork in. He said to tell you when you’re ready, it’s yours.”

“As soon as she’s outta the hospital. I mean, Emma can’t do everything and take care of her, too.” Starsky smiled slightly, changing the subject. “Hey, you had any sleep?”

Hutch looked at his partner and smiled. “No, but as soon as Emma sees Lee I think I’ll try and coax her into going home for a while. I think she needs the rest as much as I do. You too, buddy. You don’t look so hot. Lee looks closely at that face of yours and she’s not going to recognize you.”

Starsky rubbed his chin, feeling the bristles of whiskers that had grown. “My new look?” he smirked.

“No, you’re old look. Here.” Hutch handed him the brown bag he’d brought. Inside to Starsky’s delight was a change of clothes and razor and shaving cream.

“Thanks, pal.”

*********************************

Within two weeks, Lee had healed nicely enough that her doctor was ready to release her to go home. Elsie Simmons had been a great help, giving Lee counseling and talking with her as well as her friends, letting everyone know what to expect. On the day of Lee’s release, she was there, taking Emma, Starsky and Hutch aside before they walked into her room.

“I’m pleased to tell you all that she is going to be alright. She’s strong, and I think that’s mainly due to the great friendship she has with you all. But there’s always going to be a part of her that will not let this go. When she goes home today, and from this day on, you’ll have to keep an eye on her.”

The psychologist handed them pamphlets and told them to read the literature later on. “It may help you to better understand things that you’ll be dealing with; mood swings, depression, you name it, she’s going to be going through it. You’ll get tired and you’ll get angry before things slowly edge back to normal, and when that happens, well, you still can’t let your guard down completely. She has a follow up appointment with her doctor in three days this coming Monday, and after that I’ve scheduled her an appointment with me. I’ll want to see her every week for a while. In the meantime, it would probably be a great help to her if you could coax her into attending some group meetings. I’ve taken the liberty of writing down a few; they have excellent counselors and it may help her to be with other women who have been through what she has and survived. Are there any questions?”

All three shook their heads ‘no’.

“Alright then, I think you should go get her out of here, I know she’s probably anxious to leave,” Elsie said, smiling.

*********************************

To everyone’s amazement, Lee puttered around the house, as well as she could for her injuries, going over the bookkeeping for the catering business, making lists, and pretty much keeping herself busy. Ignoring the obvious, she continued to find things to do until she was exhausted enough to sleep.

On the following Monday, Emma took care of a small catering job while Starsky drove Lee to her appointments. It was something Lee had planned on, for some reason wanting him to go with her to the doctor’s office, though not telling him why.

Starsky pulled the Torino into a parking space and cut off the engine. As Lee readied to get out from the car, he held her arm, making her stay put. When she flinched at his action, he quickly took his hand away from her, his expression telling her he was sorry.

“Lee, something’s going on, and you’re not telling me. I can feel it.”

She turned to him with a worried face.

“David,” she began, tears welling in her eyes, “today I find out if the wounds to my belly are permanent.”

“What do ya mean?”

“I, I may not be able to have children. The doctor told me that I’d have to heal more before he’d know anything. Today’s the day I find out if …” her words slipped away as she held back the emotions. She was becoming an expert at holding them back.

“Why didn’t you tell me? Sweetheart, you need to know that I’m here for you, no matter what.”

“I’m telling you now so that you can find out with me. That way we’ll both know.” She opened the door and got out from the car as quickly as her weakened body would allow. Starsky jumped out and ran to her, blocking her from going further.

“Lee, hey, look at me!”

When her eyes met his, he watched the tears flow freely from them. He pulled her in and held her tightly as she cried in his arms.

“If I can’t have kids, I want you to find someone else, quit wasting your time on me,” she said in a whisper.

“Wait a minute,” Starsky began, pulling her away from him, his hands firmly gripping her shoulders. His face was a mix of concern and anger.

“Don’t you go using this to push me away. You ain’t getting rid of me that easy,” he told her, forcing a grin.

With all of her tension, she could do nothing but release some of it. She laughed at him.

“That’s my girl,” he said, smiling as he put an arm around her and walked her into the building.

*********************************

When Hutch was done with his light duty of filling out reports and filing, he left the precinct and headed straight over to Emma’s. When he arrived, he found Emma looking worn and worried. She opened the door for him and he immediately grabbed her into his arms, holding her tightly as she returned his hold.

“Are you okay?” he asked, kissing her gently on top of her head.

“Yeah, I’m just worried about Lee. Seems that’s all I ever do here lately.”

“She’s with Starsk, right?

“Yes, he took her to her appointments today. But they should’ve been back by now. I really expected them to be here when I got back from that catering job. She had a lot to deal with at the doctor’s office today.”

“How so?” Hutch asked, watching as Emma pulled a beer from the refrigerator and handed it to him, sitting down in front of him at the table.

“Lee will find out if she’s going to be able to have children or not. That bastard stabbed her in her abdomen and the doctors did their best to mend the damage, but she had to heal some before they’d know for sure one way or the other.”

“Never seems to end, does it?” Hutch asked, slamming his beer down a bit too harshly on the table in front of him. “Does Starsky know?”

“She said she’d tell him today.”

As if on cue, Lee and Starsky came in the house, walking through directly to where they knew they’d find Emma and Hutch.

“Well?” Emma almost demanded, standing as she rushed to her friend’s side.

Lee smiled slightly. “I guess you know too, huh Hutch?” she asked, looking from Emma to him. Hutch nodded, looking from her to Starsky.

“The doctor said that I was indeed healing well, and everything looks like it’s going to be fine. I can still have children.”

Emma and Hutch sighed simultaneously in relief.

*********************************

It was three weeks later that Lee was back on her feet, so to speak. Throwing herself whole-heartedly into the catering again, she was actually smiling. Taking hold of her life had made her stronger, wiser, and healthier. She fought back the inner thoughts that begged her to cower and hide from the world around her, and with the unstoppable help from her friends, she made each passing day better than the last.

When she informed Emma Saturday morning they had a catering job that evening, Emma looked exasperated, wondering how that one had slipped by her. But when Lee assured her it was a small affair and that everything was done except for their presence at five that evening to prepare, she shrugged her shoulders.

“Good thing you’re taking care of things again. Looks like I’m slipping on the job!” Emma said, sighing heavily as she sat down.

“Aw Emma, you’ve been taking care of everything these past couple of months. It’s well beyond my turn now,” Lee said, placing her hand on Emma’s shoulder.

“It wasn’t the same then. I did it because I HAD to. I’d have gone out of my mind if I didn’t have something else to focus on other than the …” Emma caught herself and stopped abruptly.

“Other than the rape? You can say it out loud, Emma. I’m not gonna hide if that word is spoken. I really am okay. Sure, I have my moments, and some things may never be perfect with me again, but we both had to get through this, not just me. And here we are.”

“You know,” Emma began, looking sincerely at Lee, “I don’t know if I could have made it through all that like you did.”

“Yes you would’ve. Because you’re strong and you’re surrounded by people who love you, just like I was. Together, we can get through anything. I love ya, you know?”

And there was the scene. The sappy, tear-filled hugging scene that both girls knew would come. The scene that told them that everything was okay and they were both going to be fine.

*********************************

As Emma and Lee rushed out from their station wagon and grabbed equipment and odds and ends, Emma balked at the pantyhose that threatened to get snagged by the box that slid out of her hand and down her leg.

“God, Lee! If this is such a small catering job then why did we have to get so dressed up and

fancy? These heels are going to be the death of me before the night is over!” Emma complained, thankful that the hose had not been messed up by the box’s corner.

“We’re all dressed up because it’s an elegant dinner affair and we’ll reap the rewards of our hard work and heels by the end of the night. Besides, you look really great in that sapphire dress!”

“Good enough to spill food on and use our profits to pay the dry cleaning bill for it no doubt,” Emma shrugged, making Lee laugh, then Emma joined in.

“C’mon, lets do the gig girl!” Lee said, opening the door for her friend.

As both girls walked into the private clubroom entrance in the back of the hotel, Emma put her box down as she reached on the wall, looking for a light switch. “You think they could’ve left at least one light on for us,” she fussed, not finding one.

“Come on. I think the switch is over towards the kitchen,” Lee said, pulling Emma’s arm as they walked into the middle of the darkened ballroom.

“Lights!” Lee hollered. And low and behold, there was light.

“Surprise!!!!!!!” There were at least twenty-five people surrounding the ladies, dressed nicely in formal attire complete with party hats strung to their heads.

Emma’s mouth fell open, totally shocked. Lee loved her reaction.

“Happy belated birthday, Emma!” Lee squealed, totally delighted that her friend was so stunned.

“But, but … Who? Why? How?” Emma couldn’t form a sentence, overcome by the shock of what unfolded before her.

“You didn’t think I’d forget, now did you?” Lee said slyly. Emma looked around at all her friends surrounding her.

“Wow,” Emma said, smiling as if her face could burst, “WOW!!!”

*********************************

The party for Emma was an outstanding affair and she had a ball. (Pardon the pun.) Between dancing all night in the arms of the man she loved and Starsky breaking in every once in a while to have a dance of his own, she had the best birthday she had ever known. And the presents! There were so many!!!

As she sat at the main table and opened them one by one, her eyes would mist every now and then, so grateful to have so many friends in her life. When she got down to only three presents left, (and that was a huge pile to go through until she got to that point!) she knew that the only ones left were from Starsky, Lee, and Hutch.

Her eyes lit up with glee as she opened Starsky’s present. The box was huge and she couldn’t wait to see what it was. Once inside the box, she pulled out a red bag the size of a plastic garbage bag. Setting it in the floor, she pulled open the plastic to reveal a larger than life stuffed koala bear toy. She jumped up towards Starsky and hugged him tightly, planting a huge smooch on his cheek.

“Thank you so much!! It’s perfect!” she told him, leaving him to grab the stuffed animal that was almost as large as she was. “I love it!”

“I figured you needed someone to keep ya company since I keep taking Lee away from home all the time,” he said, a big lopsided grin stretching his face.

“Hey pal,” Hutch began, taking his lady in a hold, “That’s what I’M around for!” he said defensively with a smile.

After they’d gone through their mock hurt feelings routine, Emma sat back down and was given her present from Lee. There were three boxes of different sizes, all wrapped together with a large violet bow.

Emma pulled at the bow gently to save it. (She always saved such things.) She opened the first box to reveal a lovely gold chain which held a locket. The locket had been inscribed with the words ‘Best Friends’, and inside was revealed a picture of Lee on one side and Emma on the other. Emma reached out and hugged her friend, “I love ya,” she whispered in Lee’s ear.

She then tugged at the next box. Inside that she found a pair of black sandals that were shiny and beautiful, right down to the three inch heels. She looked at Lee, grinning impishly, then looked at Hutch and winked.

“Go ahead, open the next one, Emma,” Lee prompted. Emma smiled and did as she was told.

When she opened the box she gasped. She had totally forgotten about the dress. THE dress. The one that Lee had gone to buy for her at the mall, the reason she was there when that man attacked her. Her face showed a mixture of emotions as her mouth fell open, tears filling her eyes. “Lee, I, I don’t know what to say, I …”

“Say you’re glad to finally have that dress! Say you’ll wear it proudly, knowing that I wanted you to have it and look as gorgeous as I know you’ll look in it. Promise me you’ll make Hutch take you somewhere really special in that dress, Em.”

“I, I can’t. No Lee, I don’t want to …”

Lee knelt down beside her friend and whispered in her ear, then stood back up.

Emma looked up at her and smiled, happy tears falling down her cheeks. “I’ll wear it proudly! I will, for us. Thank you so much Lee, it’s just what I wanted.”

Starsky and Hutch exchanged an inquiring glance, then Starsky grabbed hold of Lee, hugging her waist while Hutch walked over to Emma, handing her the last present left; a small box with a big white bow on top of it.

“This is for you,” he said sweetly, pulling a chair in front of her and sitting in it.

Emma looked around, excitement evident in her gleaming eyes.

“Are you going to open it? I for one am dying to know what’s inside!” Lee said, sounding like an impatient six-year old at Christmas.

Emma giggled and carefully opened up the package, revealing the navy blue velvet box that lay in waiting for her. She looked around at the now hushed room, everyone watching to see just what it held. She looked at Hutch, who sat across from her, grinning softly with eyes of love.

Slowly she opened the box, gasping at what was inside.

“Ken?” she asked, looking from the box to him, then back again.

Kenneth Hutchinson slipped off from his chair and down on one knee in front of her.

“Emma Knight, will you marry me?” he asked.

The silence in the room was deafening, as if everyone was holding their breath, waiting for her answer.

“Yes!” she squealed with delight. The entire room was in uproar, cheering and yelling and popping bottles of champagne that had been secretly brought out.

All in all, I guess you could say it was the best birthday party she’d ever had in her entire life.

*********************************

Emma and Hutch had quietly excused themselves from the party shortly thereafter, and understandable so. They had a lot of uh, ‘talking’, yeah, that’s it, talking to do.

Lee paid the caterers that had taken such good care of their affair with a check and looked around as the last of them left, leaving her and Starsky alone. At last.

“Well,” Starsky began, wrapping his arms around Lee’s waist from behind and snuggling his face into her neck, “this was one great party. I for one am totally impressed.”

“Yeah, it did turn out real good, didn’t it?”

“I’d say,” Starsky began, kissing her on the cheek. “Why don’t we blow this popstand, shweetheart?” he teased, “I know you gotta be tired by now.”

“Well, actually,” she grinned shyly, turning herself around so she could look him in the eyes, “I figured we might both be, uh, tired, so I kinda got us a room here for the night. What do you think?”

“Lee? Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” Starsky asked.

“I am,” she said simply.

“Are you sure?” he asked, looking in her eyes, not wanting her to do anything she wasn’t ready for yet.

“Don’t you want me?” she asked sincerely.

Starsky sat her down in one of the chairs then sat across from her. “God, yes I want you! But I don’t want you pushing yourself into somethin’ you may not be ready for yet. I know you’re healing and doing real good and all, but this is a pretty big step.”

“And it’s all I want. More than anything. I need you. And I love you. It’s just that simple. Don’t try and complicate this, okay?”

“I don’t want to complicate nothing. I just don’t want to hurt you, you know?”

“You love me. You won’t hurt me. You’ll be your same gentle, sweet, affectionate self and I’ll be happy and content. That is, unless you’re turning me down?” she asked, using her best seductive tone.

“Never,” Starsky smiled, standing and giving her his hand as she stood in front of him. He kissed her passionately, and she returned the kiss, knowing it really was all she wanted.

The End, For Now.

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