A
Family Christmas
By
Katherine
Atkins
I
was really lookin' forward to this Christmas, ya know? I wanted to spend the holidays with family,
to be surrounded by the people I love.
After all I almost died this year.
In fact, I did die, for two minutes.
That changes a guy's perspective, ya know?
Of
course, I've always loved Christmas. My
partner, Hutch, he used to say he thought I get into the holiday thing just to
annoy him, but I love it. Hanukkah is
important. I love that, too, all the
ritual and religious traditions.
Christmas is special, but in a different way. You can't grow up in New York City without seeing Christmas in
all its glories. That's one of the
things I love, all the different perspectives that Christmas can bring.
And
I thought it would bring a new one this year.
After nearly dyin', and spendin' months working at getting myself back
into condition, I was really ready to cut loose and have a great holiday. Even Hutch was willin' to cooperate this
year. No jawin' about Christmas bein'
an excuse for "euphoric sentimentalism" or harpin' about getting
presents for people who won't even speak to him 51 weeks out of the year. The shootin' hit him hard, too, if you get
my meanin'. He didn't endure the
physical damage I did, but his psychological scars are probably just as deep as
mine are.
Anyway,
like I said, dyin' can give a guy a whole new perspective. So when Hutch started askin' me what I
wanted to do for Christmas, I was ready.
I told him I wanted to spend it with my family. Go to New York City, visit with my mom and
Nicky, and my aunts and uncles and cousins.
I was really lookin' forward to it.
And, of course, I wanted Hutch to be there. He's family, too. And
after all we went through together this year, I couldn't imagine not havin' him
around for Christmas. It just wouldn't
be the same without him. So we started
makin' big plans to go to New York.
Hutch even talked our captain, Harold Dobey, into givin' us a whole week
off. Dobey's been real good to us since
I was shot. And we've worked more than
our share of holidays over the years because we're both single. And that's okay. Guys with families should have first shot at holiday times. But I wanted time with my family this
year. I was getting really excited.
At
the first of December, though, things started goin' wrong. Nobody's fault, really, unless ya want to
blame Aunt Sarah for havin' a stroke.
She's Ma's only sister, and of course Ma was real upset. Aunt Sarah's a widow. She has one child, a daughter named Rosebud
(don't tell anybody I told you 'cause she used to beat up anyone who called her
that. Everybody calls her Rose). Anyway, Rose has five small children and she
lives in Philadelphia. She couldn't
just leave her kids to take care of her mother, and no one in the family could
afford to pay for nursin' care. So,
since there was no one else, Ma decided that she needed to take care of my
aunt.
Hutch
and me talked about it, and we decided that it would be too much for Ma to have
to have us visit when she's so involved with Aunt Sarah. We decided not to go to New York for
Christmas. I was disappointed, but I
think Ma was secretly relieved. Now
don't get the wrong idea. Ma loves me,
but right now she needs to take care of her sister. I understand that. I just
don't have to like it.
Hutch
asked me if I wanted to invite his folks out for Christmas. I really wasn't that excited, but at least
we'd have family around. Of course it
wouldn't be my family, but Hutch's parents are okay, just a little stiff and
formal for my taste. That idea didn't
work out, either. Hutch's folks were
planning a big open house on Christmas day.
They invited us to come to Minnesota, but they were havin' an even worse
winter than usual, and I wasn't interested in hangin' around where the high
temperatures were averagin' in the teens.
And Hutch went along with me 'cause he didn't want me to get chilled and
come down with pneumonia or something.
He still worries about me. What
can I say?
So
there we were with a whole week off over Christmas, and no place to go. I admit it, I got a little down. Hutch tried hard to keep my spirits up, but
I was disappointed. Here I was, ready
to celebrate my life and no one to celebrate with but Hutch. Not that celebratin' with Hutch is bad, it's
just not what I had in mind. I wanted
to be with my family to share the noise, the kids, the music, the food and most
of all, the love.
On
Christmas Eve, we had a quiet dinner at my place. Hutch and me had put up a tree and decorated it with lights and
garlands and the usual stuff. It was
beautiful. We turned off most of the
lights and sat in the living room and listened to Christmas music and admired
the tree. Then, all of a sudden, Hutch
said he had to go.
And
that's another thing. Hutch had been
actin' a little weird for a coupla' weeks.
He came over to my place, but he didn't stay long. If I dropped him off at his place after
work, he didn't invite me up for a drink or offer to make dinner. And if he dropped me off, he just said he'd
see me and drove off. We did go
Christmas shoppin' on Saturday, but he looked at his watch the whole time, like
he had somethin' else to do. And he
kept getting these phone calls at work.
He's answer, then turn away so I couldn't see him talkin'. I used my detectin' abilities and figured it
out though. He had a new girl, and he
didn't want me to know yet. Probably
thought it might make me sad if he had someone and I didn't. Stupid Blintz. (Don't tell him I said that.
I don't want ta hurt his feelin's.)
Boy,
I was steamed on Christmas Day though.
Blondie knows that's the only day of the year I wake up early. I never have been able to sleep on Christmas
mornin'. Too much excitement. And yeah, it was really excitin' this year.
Wakin' up, takin' a shower and fixin' myself some coffee. And then watchin' TV. (Did you know that
there's not much on TV on Christmas mornin'?
Take my word for it, there isn't).
By 10:00 I was goin' stir crazy.
I kept lookin' out the window, lookin' for that junk heap he drives, but
there was nothin'. I tried to call a
couple of times, but he didn't answer.
Just about the time I was ready to call Dobey and put out an APB on a
wayward partner, I heard his clunker pull up and park behind my Torino.
I
was standin' at the door when he knocked.
In fact I opened it so fast his hand was still in the air. I gave him my best "Where in the world
have you been?" look, but if he
recognized it, he ignored it. He just
smiled, and wished me a Merry Christmas.
He walked in and I closed the door behind him, wondering where he was
hidin' my gift.
He
looked a little tired, and sat down on the sofa with a sigh. I didn't have the heart to yell at him, so I
asked where he'd been as I sat down beside him.
He
shrugged. No explanation, no nothin'.
I
was getting hungry. And Hutch said he'd
bring the stuff for our Christmas dinner, but he didn't have anything with
him. No dinner. And no present. I was really getting steamed.
And
then he said he had to go to Huggy's and asked me if I wanted to go. We were supposed to be celebratin' my favorite holiday, and he wanted to go to Huggy's. I almost told him to go, and not bother to
come back. But he looked tired, and I
remembered all the things he did for me during the year. All the tender care and support he'd given
me, all the worry I'd put him through had to mean something. So a little of that anti-Christmas feelin'
was still in that big blond. So
what.
So
we went to Huggy's. When I asked him
why we were goin', he mumbled somethin' about givin' Huggy his Christmas
present. I really thought that was
fine, since he hadn't shown any signs that he was givin' me a present. And he was
drivin' so slow, I though we'd never get there. We finally pulled into the deserted parking lot a little after
noon.
I
started to stay in the car, but Hutch wouldn't hear of it. He told me I should at least come in and
wish Huggy a Merry Christmas. And I
figured he was right, so I went in. In
fact, I went in first, through the door with the sign that said, "Closed
for Christmas". I didn't even
notice that Hutch was kinda laggin' behind.
"Merry
Christmas!"
I
just stood there, stunned. Huggy's
place was packed with people. All I
could do was stare. Hutch came up
behind me and put a hand on my shoulder.
"Merry Christmas, Buddy."
He
led me over to the bar. Huggy was
behind it, grinning from ear to ear. He
handed me a glass of juice and smiled a greeting.
I
asked him what was goin' on. Hutch had
disappeared into the crowd, so Huggy told me that it was a Christmas party for
our 'family'. There was a buffet loaded
down with turkey and cranberry sauce and mashed potatoes and gravy. And there was also what looked like pizza
and tacos and burritos.
I
grinned at Huggy. I didn't have to ask
whose idea this was.
Hutch
was wanderin' around the room, like he was lookin' for somethin'. But whatever he was lookin' for wasn't
there, so he finally came and stood by me.
I felt like I was in a receivin' line.
Everybody was trying to say 'hello.'
Vic
Rankin and his wife Evelyn, Kiko's Mom and Kiko and Pete (Molly) and the Dobeys
and their children were the first ones I saw.
Lisa and her Mom were there, and Jackson and his grandmother and Sweet
Alice, and Elijah. And those deaf guys,
Larry and R. C. And Sarah and Henny and
some of the others folks from the Eastside Home for the Aged. And Mickey, talkin' a mile a minute about
how she had almost completed the requirements for getting her high school
diploma. And Tom and Ellie Cole and their little boy. And Minnie and several others from the
precinct. And so many more. It was amazing.
I
said I wanted noise and kids and music and food. I got it. The place was
getting noisier and the kids were havin' a great time. There was even a tree, with presents under
it for the kids. After we ate, we
settled down at the tables and Hutch played some Christmas carols. He was nervous at first, like he always is
before he gets into the music. But he
strummed his guitar and we all sang along.
Only he still seemed to be waitin' for something. He kept lookin' at his watch between songs.
He
was in the middle of leadin' us in an off key (us, not him) rendition of
"We Wish You a Merry Christmas" when he looked at the back of the
room and stopped. He smiled at me and
the room got real quiet. "Merry
Christmas, Starsk." He nodded
toward the back of the room.
I
turned, and grinned so hard my face felt like it might break. "Ma?
Ma is it really you?"
It
took a few minutes for me to hug her and face the crowd. "Hey everybody, this is my
Ma!" Everyone laughed, and I took
her from table to table, introducin' her to everybody while Hutch softly played
carols in the background.
The
party broke up soon after that. Hutch
insisted that everyone take some of the food with them, for meals or
snacks. He didn't want it to go to
waste. "Even Starsky can't eat
that much," he said. I just
grinned at the big lummox.
After
everyone else left, Huggy and Hutch and Ma and me sat at one of the tables. I wanted to find out how she got to
California. She said that Rose had
volunteered to stay with Aunt Sarah for a couple of days and that they'd found
a private duty nurse who would take care of her until Ma could get back. Her eyes flickered to Hutch a couple of
times while she was talkin' and I knew who had made those arrangements.
"I
want to reimburse you for the airline ticket," I told her. "It must've put a pretty good dent in
your pocket book."
She
shook her head. "It was a
Christmas present," she said, lookin' at everybody but Hutch. I decided Hutch and I would talk about it
later. "Nicky wanted to come, but he has a new job and he was afraid to
ask off right after starting to work."
"It's
okay, Ma. I know he'd a been here if he
coulda swung it."
"It's
too bad the flights were booked. It
would have been nice if you could have gotten here earlier," Hutch said.
"Better
late than never, Blintz," I said.
"Just means I'll have more time to spend with Ma since we won't be
worryin' with getting stuff done for Christmas." He smiled, and Ma grinned at him and me.
We
sat and talked for a while longer, then we went to my place. It seemed quiet, after all the noise and
festivities at Huggy's. But it was a
good quiet. Remember why I said I wanted
to be with my family? I said I wanted
to share noise and food and kids and music.
I had shared all of those things.
I
sat with Ma and Hutch, watchin' the lights on the tree and rememberin' the
happy faces that had shared my Christmas.
Maybe they weren't 'family' in the strict sense of the word. But they were Hutch's and my friends and
people that we cared about, and who cared about us.
Remember
the other thing I wanted, the thing I wanted most of all?
I
had that, too. From all the people at
the party, from my Ma and Nicky, and most of all from that big blond guitar
player who had put the whole party together just for me and who had flown my Ma
to California to spend Christmas with me.
I
had love.
Merry
Christmas.