Chapter 1
“I’m sorry Ken.” The doctor just hung his head in defeat.
“You have to be able to do something.”
“We’ve done everything we can. He’s been in a coma for over a week and he’s slipping away. Why don’t you go and sit by him?”
Kenneth Hutchinson was desolate. His best friend couldn’t be dying. He just couldn’t. (Aw
Starsk, we made it through so much. You
can’t leave me now. We have a lot to do
yet. We’re not finished. Please come back to me.)
---
Two weeks ago they were living life, going through the
normal routines. Routines they were
happy with. Routines they loved. Routines that were their life. They were called out to investigate a
robbery in progress. They never saw the
speeding truck that wasn’t stopping for the red light. The front side of the car took the major
impact, Starsky’s side. Both men were
knocked unconscious, but the blond began to stir when he felt hands pulling him
out of the mangled car. He was dazed
and disoriented at first, but realized quickly as he turned his head, that his
partner was not waking up and panicked when he saw blood oozing from Starsky’s
mouth, the steering wheel imbedded in his chest, the badly dented door trapping
his partner and the spidered windshield that Starsky’s head had created. Hutch pulled away from the medics and
reached for his friend.
“Starsky! Starsky
please! Wake up!”
“Sir! Let us help
him. You need to give us room so we can
get him out, and you need to let us help you too. You need medical attention, you’re bleeding.”
Hutch didn’t notice or give any regard to the blood
trickling down his forehead from where his head hit the windshield, or to the
pain in his chest from where he hit the dashboard.
“I’m okay! Help
him! Forget about me! Just help him!” Hutch reached over to place a hand on Starsky’s bloody face and
felt for a pulse in his neck, thanking God when he found one.
Hutch was refusing treatment, and unsteadily made his way
around to the outside of the driver’s side of the Torino, holding onto his
hurting chest. He watched and prayed as
the rescue crew had to use the Jaws of Life to cut his partner out of the
car. The driver of the truck had been
killed instantly and reeked of alcohol.
“Sir, can you tell us what happened?”
“We didn’t see him.
The road was clear. What the
hell happened here? What happened? Is my partner going to be okay? Please help him!”
“We’re doing everything we can sir.”
“Detective! I’m
Detective Hutchinson and my partner Detective Starsky is trapped in the
car. Just get him out! Hurry!”
A couple uniformed officers that had arrived on the scene
held Hutch in place. He could only
watch as the rescue crew worked to get Starsky out of the car, and listen as he
heard the medics yelling urgent orders and working on his unresponsive
partner. It was bad, very bad.
(We’ve got to hurry, we’re losing him. His BP is low and dropping fast! Get an IV of Normal Saline started now. We need an open vein, just in case… Get the backboard! We need to stabilize his neck, it might be broken.)
A crowd had begun to form, but the lone blond could only
watch and listen.
(Internal injuries)
(Definite concussion, possible intracranial pressure,
fractured skull?)
(Broken ribs)
(Heart rate erratic)
(Punctured lung)
(Choking on his own blood)
(Losing him…losing him…losing him…)
Moments past and Hutch found himself sitting on the street,
trying to get up, the officers holding onto him, and a medic waving a smelling
salt under his nose.
“Wha…Starsky? Starsk? Is he okay?”
“Detective Hutchinson, you need to calm down. We had to perform a tracheotomy on your
friend. He was choking and couldn’t
breathe. We have him stabilized enough
right now to get him to the trauma center.
C’mon! You’re coming too! No
arguments! You’re having trouble
breathing! You need to let us help
you!”
“Just get him there and hurry! Don’t worry about me. He
needs help!”
The medics could see that their blond patient was
crumbling, going into shock. Before
Hutch could resist, he felt a needle pierce his arm. Within moments, Hutch was feeling drowsy and silently cursed at
the medics. He needed to be awake, to
watch over Starsky, to know he was okay.
Starsky was loaded into the ambulance after being secured
to the backboard. The medics had him
totally immobilized, an IV in his arm, and were bagging oxygen into him through
the new tracheotomy site in Starsky’s throat.
Hutch was forced into another ambulance against his will. He didn’t have much strength left and the drug
was further inhibiting his ability to focus.
The paramedics followed the ambulance that held the dark haired
detective closely. Hutch glance one
more time at the crushed car, glass everywhere, blood…Starsky’s blood, his
blood. His last thought before falling
into unconsciousness was his partner.
The medics wasted no time in route to Memorial Hospital
where a chopper was waiting to take Starsky to St. Gabriel’s Trauma Center in
San Juan. Captain Dobey had been
contacted as soon as his two detectives were identified and he was waiting at
the emergency room doors when his boys were brought in. He pulled a few strings and talked his
connections into having Hutch flown to the same hospital as Starsky. He knew, after hearing of the critical state
that Starsky was in and the injuries Hutch sustained, physically and
emotionally, that neither one would have a chance if they weren’t kept
together. Huggy met up with Dobey as
soon as he was contacted too, and both watched the flurry of activity as the
ambulances arrived with his two best detectives. He grabbed onto the wall to still his dizziness when he saw a
blood covered Starsky, being assisted to breathe through a tube in the hole in
his neck. Both men were covered in
blood, clothing torn, bruised and broken.
There was no time to waste as both boys were taken directly to the roof
to be flown to St. Gabriel’s. His heart
ached as he heard a very weak Hutch calling out for his partner and saw the
tear stained face of his usually strong detective.
---
A full medical team was waiting and prepared for their two
new patients. One, they were told was
critically injured and that his odds of survival were slim to none. The other, they were told, was in serious
condition, but would survive. They had
been filled in entirely on the details of the accident and also knew that the
tragedy was the result of a drunk driver, who did not survive.
Starsky was whisked off into one trauma room while Hutch
was wheeled into another. Hutch became
more alert as his clothing was being removed and further IV’s were being
started. He was a bit disoriented at
first, but quickly remember what had happened.
He ripped the oxygen mask off of his face and began to yell for his
friend.
“STARSKY!!!”
“Mr. Hutchinson, try to calm down. You’re in St. Gabriel’s Hospital. You were in an accident, do you remember
that?” The emergency room nurse had a
calming voice.
“I know what the hell happened! Where is my partner?”
Hutch struggled to get up from the gurney that held him, but was gently
pushed back down. He was becoming
hysterical and had to be restrained, as he was not going to stay there. He had to get to his partner. “Starsky!”
For the second time that day he felt the sting of a needle into his arm,
as a doctor told him that he needed to rest, that his blood pressure was
elevated and was in need of medical attention.
The doctor apologized for the restraints, but told him it was for his
own good. Hutch struggled against his
bounds, tiring himself until he could no longer fight. “Fuck you!”
Hutch sobbed. “I want my
partner. Tell me he’s alive!” He let himself fall back onto the pillow,
tears now escaping through the eyes he closed tightly.
At the same time, orders were being called out and the
medical crew was working hastily on the dark haired man who was hanging onto
life by a thread.
“Cut his clothing off of him! Call radiology, I want a portable chest x-ray stat! He’ll need chest tubes! Get respiratory and cardiology down here now
too! Tell them to hurry, I’m not sure
how much time he has, his pressure is dangerously low. I want 25mg Epinephrine IV stat! Call Dr. Stan from neurology, I think he’s
on call. This man took a bad hit to the
head, and call for a room in ICU. Who’s
on call for orthopedics? His family
should be notified! Call for a room in
the OR and tell them to get prepared, we’ll be there as soon as possible. I need his medical records…call Memorial, I
need more information!” The doctor took
note of the scars on his patient’s chest and abdomen. (God, this man’s been through hell!)
The lab technician ran past one of the ER nurses with vials
full of blood, Starsky’ blood. Dr.
Henry continued to examine his patient, feeling broken ribs, shining a light
into his unresponsive eyes and adjusting the respirator that was now hooked up
to the tube in Starsky’s throat. The
nurses began to clean and apply bandages to the wounds on Starsky’s chest and
head.
“Dr. Henry, there’s a Dr. Kellerman on the phone for you
about Mr. Starsky.”
The doctor rushed to the phone in the trauma room and
pressed the blinking light. “Dr.
Kellerman, I’m treating a Mr. David Starsky.
His chest and back are full of scars.
Can you fill me in on this?”
“Oh dear Lord, David!”
Dr. Kellerman took a deep breath.
“Yes, I’ve treated David in the past.
He was shot about a year ago. It
was bad. He almost didn’t make it. We lost him once on the operating table and
then after the surgery he coded again.
It took several jolts to get his heart started again. I’d almost given up when it started beating
again. Is there a tall blond man with
him?”
“Yes and no. Mr.
Hutchinson is the blond you are talking about I presume?”
“Yes, he’s David’s best friend. They’re very close. It
seemed as though David had given up when he arrested last year, but suddenly
pulled through just as his partner arrived in ICU. If I didn’t believe in miracles before, I sure did after
witnessing that.”
“Mr. Hutchinson is here, but he is also being treated for
injuries sustained in the accident.
He’s pretty banged up and is going to be hurting for a while, but I
think he’ll be okay. My associate is
taking care of him now.”
Dr. Kellerman went on to inform Dr. Henry about all of
Starsky’s past medical history, giving pertinent facts quickly. Dr. Henry made it very clear that Starsky’s
life was hanging in the balance. The
news he received from Dr. Kellerman caused even more concern for Starsky’s
life.
“Thank you Dr. Kellerman.
We’ll do everything we can for David.
I’ll admit…things don’t look too good for our friend right now. We’ll do our best.”
Dr. Henry went back to access Starsky again and personally
took his blood pressure, hoping that the Epinephrine helped.
Starsky was taken to surgery as soon as the results of the x-rays and blood work came back. His blood pressure continued to be dangerously low, but the surgery was necessary if his life were to be saved.
Hutch woke up in an intensive care room, hooked to beeping
monitors, oxygen, IV’s and was hurting.
The medicine he was given to help him relax had not totally worn off, he
was still fuzzy, but not enough to halt his anxieties. He instinctively attempted to get up, but
found his wrists and ankles were still restrained. He knew it was pointless to fight against them and called to the
nearest nurse he saw come into the room.
“Nurse? Hey, can
you help me?”
“I’m Laura, your evening nurse. What can I do for you Ken?”
“My chest…and my head…why do they hurt so bad?”
“You got pretty battered up in the accident Ken. You have a couple of broken ribs and a
concussion from hitting your head. The
doctor put seven stitches in the cut on your forehead. You’re gonna hurt pretty bad for a while,
but the doctor prescribed pain medication.
You need something now?”
“No, I’m okay. What
about…” Hutch was not okay, his head
was hurting badly and he was having trouble taking a deep breath as his ribs
were wrapped tightly and hurt.
“What is it Ken?”
Laura asked as she smoothed a cool cloth over Hutch’s forehead and
face. She noticed he was trembling.
“My partner. David
Starsky. He was in the car when… He was
hurt pretty bad. Can you tell me how
he’s doing?”
Laura noted the look of panic on her patient’s face and saw
the tears welling up in his eyes. “Ken,
David has been taken to surgery. He’s
alive.”
“Thank God! How’s
he doing? I mean, what did the doctor
say? Did he wake up?”
“Dr. Henry is looking after David. He’s one of the best. If anyone can save your friend, Dr. Henry
can.”
“What? Is Starsky
that bad off? What do you mean “if” he
can save him? Please…talk to me.” Hutch tried to move, but once again was
reminded of his restraints. He was too
preoccupied in needing to know about Starsky to care about them.
“Ken, I’ll let you know how David is doing as soon as I
know anything, okay? You need to rest
for now. I’ll get your pain
medication.”
“No! I don’t want
anything. I just need to be alone for a
while. Please.”
“Okay, I’ll check in on you in just a bit. I’ll be here all night if you need anything.”
Laura seemed nice and Hutch took an instant liking to
her. He felt she would be honest with
him and he trusted her. He was scared,
not for himself, but for his best friend.
He fell into a restless sleep, dreaming about Starsky.
(Hey Starsk, wanna get a pizza after work, and maybe a
couple beers?)
(Sounds good buddy.
Got any plans for the weekend?)
(Nope, you?)
(Nope, wanna come with me to see that new horror movie?)
(Starsk, you know I hate those things.)
(But Hutch…)
(Okay… What time?)
(I’ll pick you up about 7:00pm, be ready okay?)
In the dream Hutch was waiting for Starsky to pick him up
to see the god forsaken horror movie and as he waited on his front steps he saw
Starsky’s car coming down the street.
He got up, ready to jump in, when a large truck smashed into the Torino.
(I’m sorry detective Hutchinson. He’s dead.)
(NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!)
Hutch woke up in a sweat, screaming for his partner. “Laura!!!!”
Laura came running into the room. “What is it Ken?”
“Starsky. I need to
know how he is. Please don’t lie to
me! And take these restraints off! Now!”
“Ken, I can’t.
Doctor’s orders.”
“Screw the doctor’s orders! I want um off now! I
can’t move! I have to get to a
bathroom!”
“I’ll call Dr. Henry.”
Laura could see that Hutch was in pain and the short shallow breaths he
was taking told her that he also needed something more to help him relax. She leaned onto the side rails and took
Hutch’s hand in her own.” Her heart
went out to the man who exhibited the little boy features and vulnerability. She could tell that his friend, David, meant
the world to him.
“Laura?”
“Are you okay Ken?”
Laura saw the urgency on Hutch’s face and could hear it in his voice.
“I think I’m gonna be sick!”
Laura grabbed for the emesis basin, untied one of his wrist
restraints and gently helped him to turn onto his side. She held the basin as Hutch heaved. Her heart went out to him as he moaned with
each heave. She rubbed his back with
her free hand in an attempt to help him to relax. When the heaving finally subsided, she took the basin to empty it
and let his hand free, not replacing the restraint. He was hurting and sick and she worried about him getting sick
again, knowing he would be helpless if he didn’t have at least on free
hand. Laura stayed with Hutch until he
calmed just a bit and then turned to go and get him something for the nausea.
“Laura?”
“Yeah Ken, you gonna get sick again?”
“No, just wanted to say thanks.”
“No ‘thanks’ needed.
I want to be able to help you.
I’ll be back in just a minute with something to help settle your
stomach.”
Hutch let his head drop back onto the pillow and once again
began to pray for Starsky to be all right.
Starsky made it through the surgery, the doctor repairing a
tear in his stomach, readjusting broken ribs and making sure the chest tubes
were secure. Starsky’s most critical
injury was a head injury that caused a subdural hematoma. Starsky had gone into seizures before he
reached the operating room due to the intracranial pressure, and had begun to
vomit profusely, nearly choking.
Elspeth, the anesthesiologist knew her stuff and worked quickly to
suction the unwanted secretions via the tracheotomy opening. They surmised that Starsky had gone without
oxygen for approximately two minutes before his airway was once again
clear. They would have to deal with any
possible complications from that later, for now saving David Starsky’s life was
first and foremost. An NG tube with
suction was promptly inserted to prevent further complications from the head
injury, such as vomiting. He had been
in the operating room for four hours before he was taken to the recovery room
where he would be monitored very closely.
His condition continued to be labeled as very serious. Dr. Henry advised the nurses to keep a close
eye on Starsky, as he was still worried about further seizure activity and
Starsky’s vital signs were not good.
The doctor was exhausted, but had promised his patient’s blond friend
that he would stop by and talk to him after the surgery was over.
---
It was after midnight by the time Dr. Henry was able to
stop in to talk with Hutch.
“Hi Pat, is Mr. Hutchinson awake?” Pat was Hutch’s night nurse and her heart
went out to the man who had no rest, was hurting and terrified for his
partner. She stayed as close to her
patient as time would allow. Hutch was
in a lot of pain, but seemed to be hurting more emotionally for his friend.
“Hi Dr. Henry, yes, he’s awake and terribly worried about
his partner. He’s been waiting for
you.”
Dr. Henry nodded and after taking a deep breath, he went in
to face the man who seemed closer than a brother to the man he had just
operated on.
“Mr. Hutchinson?”
“Doc! How is
he?” Hutch tried to get up, but moaned
and laid back down as pain seared through his chest.
“The surgery is over.
David is in the recovery room.”
“Then he’s okay right?”
“Mr. Hutchin… Ken, it was a long surgery and we’ve done all
we can do for David. The rest will be
up to him. I’ll be honest with you,
he’s in critical condition.”
“But he’ll be okay right?”
“I don’t want to get your hopes up Ken. His vital signs are not where I’d like them
to be and he’s had some complications.
The nurses are watching him closely.”
“He’s strong doc.
He’ll be okay. I need to see him
as soon as I can. Please.”
The doctor placed a reassuring hand on Hutch’s shoulder as
he saw the fragile state that Hutch was in and saw his anxieties growing. He wanted to give him some hope…something to
hold onto, but there was not much and he didn’t want to lie to the grief
stricken man lying in the bed.
“You need to get some rest now Ken. I’ll be back to tell you of any
changes. Try and sleep, David is going
to need you. Okay?”
Hutch just stared at the doctor and then looked up at the
ceiling, trying to stop more tears from escaping. The doctor was not giving him much hope and he couldn’t bear to
think of a life without his partner by his side. Starsky was his life; he realized that now more than ever. He barely made it through when Starsky was
shot and nearly lost his life from Gunther’s bullets. They made it that time though.
Could they be granted another miracle?
Pat came in to administer a sedative through Hutch’s IV and
to give him something more for the pain.
He desperately needed to rest.
He had a lot of healing to do himself, and the staff learned quickly
that Hutch would not rest, unless rest was forced upon him. They all soon learned how close the two men
were and as Dr. Kellerman had informed the doctor’s earlier, they needed each
other if there was to be a chance of healing for either one. Pat stayed by Hutch’s side until he fell
into a restless sleep. Even in sleep he
cried for Starsky.
Starsky had been moved to intensive care where the nurses watched over him carefully as ordered. He had been placed into a small room next to the nurse’s station and remained unconscious to Dr. Henry’s dismay. He asked the nurse in charge for Starsky’s chart and headed for his patients room where he found his nurse checking tubes and writing in a chart.
“Hi ML, has David shown any signs of waking up yet?”
“Unfortunately not doctor. His blood pressure is remaining stable though and he’s had no more seizures. I’ve been with him since early this morning. Poor guy, he’s so young. So much life ahead of him yet.”
“Well ML, we’re hoping he gets to be a little bit
older. We’re doing everything we
can. How’s his breathing? Has he shown any signs of trying to breath
on his own?”
“Not yet doctor.”
“Has his family been notified?”
“A Captain Dobey called the nurses station this morning asking about him. Said he called his mother in New York, she’s not able to come due to a bad bout with the flu, but the person closest to him is right here in the hospital, a Mr. Hutchinson?”
“Yes, I’ve heard they’re very close. Maybe later today we could get Mr. Hutchinson onto a litter and bring him in to see his friend. Please make note of that ML.”
“Sure doctor. You think Mr. Starsky has a chance?”
“I never rule out miracles ML…never rule out miracles.”
---
Dr. Julie Visto, an Australian doctor, had been assigned to Hutch’s case. She was at the nurse’s station when Dr. Henry came out of Starsky’s room.
“Hi Julie, you’re treating Mr. Hutchinson?”
“Yes, I hear your treating his partner David Starsky? How’s he doing?”
“Not good I’m afraid. I was hoping to see some improvement by this morning, but… I spoke with his doctor from LA, Dr. Kellerman. Dr. Kellerman treated David about a year ago after a near fatal shooting. David almost died... he was just getting stronger and had only been back to work for six months when the accident occurred.” Dr. Henry took a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. “You know how it is Julie. They think as doctors, we can work miracles. I wish we could. It’s going to take a lot more than a miracle for David to survive, let alone recover. How’s Mr. Hutchinson?”
“I’ve had to keep him pretty well sedated. He’s in a lot of pain and has been sick throughout the night from the concussion. He won’t rest though, not of his own free will. He insists on seeing his partner. Seems like he cares more about David than he does himself. They must be very close. I just hope that David pulls through… somehow I don’t think Ken will even try if David doesn’t make it. David was just recovering from being shot just about a year ago? God, how much is one man supposed to handle?”
“Yes, I spoke with his doctor from Memorial hospital, he says that David is a miracle. He also said that … well; he believes that David only survived because of his partner’s love and dedication toward him. They’ve both been fighting so hard to get their life back, and it was going well until…” Dr. Henry hung his head again and nodded. “Damn drunk driver!”
Julie rested a hand on her colleges arm. “Would it be okay if I stopped in to see David? I know we’re working with two men here, but I think if one is going to improve at all, we’re going to need to work together on this.”
“Sure Julie, go ahead. I think you’re right. We do need to work together here.” Dr. Henry handed Dr. Visto Starsky’s chart.
Julie read over the chart that held little to no good news and headed toward room 107, Starsky’s room. She opened the door and looked at the still form lying on the bed in the dimly lit room, tubes and monitors everywhere imaginable. Slowly she made her way to the bedside.
“Hi David.” Julie knew Starsky was in a coma but always believed that a comatose patient could hear and understand, even though they were trapped in an uncooperative body. She took note of the respirator and stared at the heart monitor momentarily. She felt deeply for both her blond patient and the man lying in wait. It was a strange feeling, but she felt close to him somehow…close to both detectives. A bit nervously she took David’s lifeless hand in her own.
“David, I know you can hear me. Your friend Ken has been asking about you.” She noticed that the heart monitor’s rhythm increased. “You can here me can’t you David? You’re going to be all right, you know that don’t you? I hear you’re a fighter… and your friend…your friend, well he really cares about you. You’re a lucky man David, to have someone love you so much.”
Not usually the emotional type, she was surprised when hot tears came to her eyes. She took note of the pink scars that covered what was exposed of the dark haired man’s chest and abdomen. This man was so young and had already had enough tragedy in his life to cover two lifetimes. She noted the innocent look on his still face. The same look she noted on her blond patients face when he was asleep. There was definitely something very special between the two patients new to St. Gabriel’s intensive care unit. She continued to hold onto his hand, rubbing her thumb over the top, talking to him, when she glanced back to Starsky’s face and saw a fresh tear trickling down the side of his face. He must have heard her talking to him. It was the first sign of life and possible hope there had been since Starsky was brought in. She ran her hand through the thick curls and went to report the small hope to Dr. Henry.
“You keep fighting David, you hear me? Doctors orders.”
Later that day, when Hutch was coming out of the strong sedatives sleep, he asked once again to see Starsky. The argument he expected did not come. It was nearing the change of shifts, but Linda Houl didn’t want to make her patient wait any longer than necessary to let him see his best friend. She had watched over Hutch all day as his anxieties grew and his hopes fell. She was empathetic to his needs and concerns, actually feeling a bit sorry for him. He seemed to be sinking into a depression and looked so lost as he just stared into space when he was awake, seemingly not even conscious of the silent tears that slipped from his eyes. He was kept totally helpless, at the mercy of the doctors and nurses in a place far from home, apart from his best friend who was listed in guarded condition. Pat was already on duty and Linda had already given her a report on Hutch’s condition. She asked Pat to help her get Hutch onto a litter so she could take him to see Starsky.
“Hi Ken. Remember me? It’s Pat. I was your nurse last evening. I hear you had a pretty rough day. Lots of x-rays and tests huh?”
“Yeah…” Hutch felt it safer to not say too much. If he told them of the pain he was in, and how sick he still felt, he knew he would never get to see Starsky.
“We’re gonna take you to see your partner Ken, but you have to go on this litter. You’re not strong enough to be out of bed yet. Are you having any pain?”
“No --- I just want to see Starsky… Please.”
“Okay, but just for a few minutes, you need your rest.” Pat and Linda untied Hutch’s restraints and assisted him onto the litter. Hutch had become reserved and quiet, fearing bad news every time someone walked into his room.
“Can these stay off when I come back? I promise I won’t try to escape.” Hutch’s words were soft and monotone, sadness and defeat radiating from his body, almost emotionless. If it weren’t for his tears, they would have thought him to be catatonic.
Pat and Linda exchanged glances. Hutch seemed to be giving up. No one was telling him much about his partner and he felt it was only because no news was good news. He was afraid, in a lot of pain and feeling so lost without Starsky by his side.
“We’ll talk to the doctor about them okay Ken?”
“Yeah…sure. Can you take me to Starsky now?”
Pat leaned over the railing of the litter and brushed the fine blond hair off of Hutch’s forehead. “Hey, you know that I’m here, and Linda here has a good ear too if you need or want to talk? You don’t have to keep all of this inside.”
Hutch nodded, not trusting himself to do anything more.
Pat and Linda took Hutch to room 107 and wheeled him next to Starsky’s bed. Fresh tears fell from Hutch’s eyes when he saw all of the monitors, tubes and equipment attached to his partner. His mind was prepared to see Starsky this way, but his heart wasn’t. Pat and Linda rolled the litter as close to Starsky’s bed as they could and assisted Hutch to roll onto his side so he could see his best friend, putting a pillow behind his back for support. The pain was enormous, but he just held his breath and didn’t make a sound. He reached for Starsky’s limp hand and closed his eyes at the contact.
“Can you leave us alone for a bit?”
Pat and Linda locked the wheels on the litter and left the room, letting him know that the evening nurses would be right outside if he needed them, and would be taking him back to his room shortly.
“Starsky? Oh God buddy. I’m here now. Hutch is here.” He closed his eyes, and held on tight to Starsky’s hand, not wanting his partner to hear him crying as he tried to collect himself. “We’ve kind of been here before huh Starsk? You come back to me you hear?” Despite the pain, Hutch reached over and traced the pink scars on Starsky’s chest, painful reminders of the last time he felt so helpless. His hand then reached up and stroked Starsky’s face, rubbing his cheek, wishing he would open his eyes. He cringed as he overheard the new evening shift nurses talking just outside of Starsky’s room.
“Poor guys. Kind of sad isn’t it?”
“Yeah, the blond seems so fond of David.”
“What’s he going to do without him? I mean, David’s prognosis isn’t good…and even if he does survive, he might never be right again.”
“It would be a miracle if David even woke up again.”
“Well, in the shape he’s in, it would be a blessing if he could just go in his sleep.”
Hutch wanted to scream. It never amazed him at how insensitive some people could be. They could have at least had their discussion away from Starsky’s room. He didn’t want to believe what they were saying. He couldn’t. Starsky had to be okay…. and if Starsky couldn’t come back to him, then he wanted to go wherever Starsky was. He thought he would die when they told him that Starsky wouldn’t make it after Gunther’s attack. This time he knew he would.
“Starsk, you don’t listen to them. They don’t know you. They don’t know us. We’re gonna make it buddy. Me and Thee, remember? Oh Starsk, can you hear me? Please give me some kind of a sign. C’mon, you can do it.”
Hutch let his head fall back onto the pillow and looked at the soft features that made his partner unique. He closed his eyes momentarily, holding tightly onto the unresponsive hand in his own. When he opened his eyes, he saw moisture on Starsky’s lashes that had not been there before and tears rolling down his cheek.
“Starsk? You do know I’m here don’t you? I know you do buddy. Everything is gonna be okay. You listen to your partner all right. I’m gonna help you get better. I need you back…back with me. I love you Starsk. Please come back.” Hutch gently wiped the tears away and continued to talk to Starsky, reassuring him that all would be okay.
An orderly came in and a bit roughly wheeled Hutch away from his partner. “Time to take you back to your room Mr. Henderson.”
“No, he’s crying. He needs me. Please don’t take me back. Can we have just a little more time? Please?”
“I’m sorry Mr. Henderson, times up.”
“HUTCHINSON! My name is Hutchinson…” Hutch felt like hot knives were cutting through his ribs and chest after he yelled and let out an unwanted cry.
“Okay, “Hutchinson”, I still have to take you back to your room.”
Hutch still reached for Starsky as he was wheeled away. “I’ll be back Starsk…you wait for me. I promise I’ll be back.”
Hutch was now allowed to visit Starsky at least twice a
day. He wanted more, but was grateful
that they let him have that much time.
The restraints had been left off and he was able to get around with the
aide of a wheelchair. Physically, he
was healing, but emotionally he would not heal until he knew that Starsky would
be all right. On the third day, he was given
some hope.
“Hi Ken.”
“Dr. Visto.” Hutch
nodded.
“How are you feeling today? Ribs still hurting?”
“I’m doing okay, better I think.”
Julie could see the longing in her patient’s eyes. She was all too glad to be able to give him
some good news.
“I think there’s someone who’d like to see you Ken. Feel up to going for a ride?”
Hutch was curious, but assumed he was being taken for yet
another test. He slowly got himself
into the wheelchair and let Dr. Visto take him away. His spirits lifted when he knew she was directing him to
Starsky’s room.
“Is Starsky okay?”
“Why don’t you see for yourself Ken.”
Hutch was taken to Starsky’s bedside and instinctively
grasped onto his partner’s hand. Julie
left the two men alone, feeling hope in her own heart as well.
“Starsk? How you doing today buddy? I hope you know that I’m here pal. I know you do. I wish you’d wake up Starsk.
Getting kind of tired of talking to myself.”
Hutch sat back in his wheelchair, content for now to be
able to be with Starsky. He let himself
relax just a bit; thankful for the time he was allowed with his friend. He started to doze off when he felt a
pressure on his hand. He woke
instantly, regretting that his visiting time was over. There was never enough time when it came to
being with Starsky. He looked around to
see who was taking him back to his room, but no one was there. His heart surged.
“Starsky?” He
returned the pressure on the hand that was holding onto his own. “You’re waking up buddy! Aw Starsk.”
Hutch watched as Starsky’s eyelids twitched a bit and then
opened slowly. He felt the weight of
the world being lifted. Starsky was
coming back to him.
“Hey, welcome back buddy!
Bout time you opened those baby blues for me.”
Starsky seemed disoriented and afraid. He looked at Hutch for answers.
“You’re in the hospital Starsk. We both are. Bad
accident.” Hutch shrugged and gave a
reassuring smile to his treasure.
Starsky tried to talk and reached for the tube in his
throat as he felt like he was choking.
“No, don’t pull at that Starsk. It has to stay there for now.
You’ve had a hard time of it buddy.
That tube is helping you to breathe.
It’s only temporary, don’t worry.”
Tears came to the dark haired man’s eyes and he looked
around at all of the other machinery, IV’s and monitors. He closed his eyes as he felt pain in his
chest and head, grasping tighter onto Hutch’s hand.
Hutch fought his own pain and stood, wanting to be as close
to his partner as he could. “Hey, I
know it hurts.” Hutch wiped at the warm
tears on his partner’s face and rang the call bell to ask the nurse for
something for pain for his friend. He
waited until Starsky was given something to calm the pain and he was in a
“normal” sleep, before consenting to being taken back to his room.
For the first time in days, Hutch felt some hope and
relief. Starsky was going to be
okay. Hutch was returned to his room to
find he had a visitor.
“Hey my man! I’m
sorry I couldn’t get here sooner Hutch.
Diane actually had the nerve to take a vacation.” Huggy raised an eyebrow.
“It’s good to see you Hug.”
‘It’s good to see you blondie. How’s that stubborn partner of yours?”
“He’s awake! Just
woke up today. Things are gonna be okay
now.”
“This is good news.
Last report I got, Curly was being lazy and was still in a co… asleep.”
“He’s had a hard time of things, but he’s strong. He’ll pull through this. Look at all we’ve been through before. Takes more than getting hit by a truck to
hold him down.”
Over the next couple of days, Starsky became more alert and
Hutch, now walking on his own, was with him as much as possible… He stayed until the staff threw him out so
they could tend to Starsky’s needs.
Starsky slept a lot, but seemed to be more perky, especially when Hutch was
with him. They both lived for the time
they had together. There was light at
the end of the tunnel.
---
The next morning Hutch ate all of his breakfast and was
ready when the nurse came to take him to see his partner. His happiness was to be short lived. The nurse began to turn the wheelchair
around, but Hutch stopped her. There
was a flurry of activity, noise and medical personnel running in and out of
Starsky’s room.
Mickette was Hutch’s day nurse today. She had talked to Hutch before, but had not been assigned to him personally. Today of all days, she almost wished Hutch had not been her patient. She knew all too well that her patient’s best friend must be in serious trouble, seeing the activity going on, in and out of Starsky’s room.
“Starsky!” Hutch tried to get up out of the wheelchair, but realized he was too lightheaded and fell back down unwillingly, cursing himself silently for being weak. “What’s going on?”
“I’m not sure Ken, but I’ll find out. Stay right here.” Mickette put a reassuring hand on her patient’s arm.
“Please, just find out what’s happening. Hurry!”
Hutch instantly felt ashamed at the way he had thrown orders at his nurse. Whatever was happening was not her fault, but he was beyond controlling his emotions. Mickette disappeared into Starsky’s room as Dr. Visto was coming out.
“Ken? What are you doing here? You shouldn’t be here right now.”
“Please…. what happened to Starsky? I gotta know.”
Julie wheeled Hutch into a small waiting room and sat down on the chair across from him, taking his hands in her own.
“Ken, David had a set back. Early this morning he spiked a temperature, 104 degrees. He had been doing so well and the NG tube was removed. We didn’t think he would need it any longer. The nurses were putting ice packs around and on David when he got sick. He aspirated Ken. He choked on what came up from his stomach and he panicked. He tried to breath, fighting the tube in his throat. Some of the secretions got into his windpipe and then into his lungs. We think that the tube in his throat became clogged. It all happened so fast. He began to seizure and then his vital signs dropped. His blood pressure is very low. I’m sorry Ken. He’s in a coma and his prognosis is not good. This might not be of any comfort to you, but he was trying to call for you. He couldn’t talk of course, but I’m pretty good at reading lips.”
Hutch was trembling, holding back tears of terror. Julie was trying, but there was no comforting the blond. He was feeling dizzy.
“But…”
“Ken? Are you okay? You gonna be sick?”
“He…just last night…he held my hand…” Hutch was hyperventilating and his last half sentence came out in a sob.
Julie nodded for a passing nurse to come and sit with Hutch. She saw him beginning to deteriorate.
‘Ken, I’m going to have Jan sit with you for a bit. I’ll be back with something to help you relax.”
“Nooooo! I have to be with him. Please…. we were… he was…Starsk…” Hutch’s eyes rolled back into his head and he slumped in his chair. He had passed out. Jan acted appropriately.
“HELP! I need some help in here now!” Donna and Tracy, two other ICU nurses, came running. “Get a litter. He’s out! Get Dr. Visto in here now!”
Donna ran to retrieve Dr. Visto while Tracy took a smelling salt out of her pocket and began to wave it under Hutch’s nose. He was not responding. They lifted him onto the litter and took him back to his room.
Nurses and doctors continued to work on Starsky, trying to cool his fever. Veronica from respiratory therapy worked carefully but quickly to suction the unwanted secretions from Starsky’s lungs. Dr. Henry called for the crash cart as Starsky’s color turned from ashen to blue. He was suffocating. The tube in his throat was not allowing any air to reach Starsky’s lungs.
“He’s out! Not breathing! Call a code!” Dr. Henry screamed orders, using the contents of the crash cart and removing the clogged tracheostomy tube, quickly replacing it with a clear one and hooking it up to the ventilator, setting the gauges.
---
Hutch had been carefully lifted back into his bed, nurses surrounding him as well. Dr. Visto had given Hutch a shot to help him relax. She had seen the signs of hysteria before. Oxygen was reapplied over Hutch’s mouth and nose and IV’s were restarted. She knew her patient was in trouble. If Starsky didn’t make it, she feared her patient would not fight to come back either.
---
They had done all they could; all they could do now was wait. Starsky was breathing once again with the assistance of the respirator. His vital signs would either begin to improve, or he would succumb to death. They had all come to adore Starsky and Hutch. The room was suddenly silent except for the noise of the respirator and the beeping monitors. They waited.
Hutch was becoming more withdrawn with each passing day
that Starsky failed to get any better, and Dr. Visto was very concerned about
Hutch’s mental state. She ordered a
psychologist to talk to him. Angie had
a way of getting people to talk, when others couldn’t.
“Mr. Hutchinson?
Ken?”
Hutch just lay in a state of hopelessness, staring into
space. His body was here, but his mind
was far away, in a place where he and Starsky were healthy and happy. Memories.
Was that all he would have now?
Was it over? He didn’t
acknowledge Angie’s presence, but she was not surprised.
“Ken, Dr. Visto asked that I talk with you. I know about David and know what you must be
going through.”
Hutch didn’t move, or look at Angie. “No, you don’t. You don’t know what I’m going through. My best friend is dying…they won’t let me see him…he’s all I
have. So don’t pretend to understand
what I’m feeling. You can’t.” Hutch then turned his head into the pillow,
away from Angie.
“You’re right Ken, I can’t feel what you are feeling. That doesn’t mean I don’t care though. I know you don’t feel like talking, but
isolating yourself is only going to make you feel worse.”
“I’m not “isolating” myself!”
“Okay, what would you call it? You think this is what David would want for you? Is this how the two of you work? You just give up when the other one is
sick?”
“HE’S NOT SICK!
DAMN IT! HE’S DYING!!!! AND I CAN’T EVEN BE WITH HIM! What if he’s scared…inside? He’d know I was there. That’s how we work! Together!” Hutch was sobbing uncontrollably now.
“That’s it Ken. Get
it out. Just let it out.” Hutch let Angie take his hand in hers and
she sat on the edge of the bed.
“I don’t know how to do this….”
“What Ken? What
don’t you know how to do?”
“Let him go.” Hutch
then looked at Angie for answers.
Angie nodded, and let Hutch cry. She knew he had a lot of tears and probably a lot of anger. How could he not? She also knew that Starsky’s chances of survival diminished more
and more with each passing hour. “Ken,
how about I take you to see David?”
“It’s a joke right?
They won’t let me near him.”
“No sweetie, it’s not a joke. Lets go okay?” Angie
retrieved a wheelchair and helped Hutch into his robe and slippers. She knew that nothing else was going to help
his misery. He needed to be with his
partner.
---
Seeing Starsky like this never got any easier. He looked so peaceful. How could this have happened?
“Starsk? I’m here
babe. I know you can hear me
buddy. Just know that I’m here. Hutch is here.”
Hutch sat by Starsky’s side for hours, holding his hand,
sponging his forehead and neck with a cool cloth and talking to him softly,
until his evening nurse Kathy Booth took him back to his room. Hutch was still weak and in considerable
pain. He would never admit to it, but
it was evident in his eyes. He needed
something for pain, like it or not, and he needed to rest. She had a feeling he would need as much
strength as possible.
“Mr. Hutchinson?
Can I get anything for you?”
“No…thanks.”
“You have a nice visit with David?”
“Yeah…sure did.”
So much for conversation.
Kathy went to get Hutch’s evening medications, and added a strong pain
pill that would help the pain and make him sleep.
“I’ll be here until 1130pm if you need anything Ken. I’ll check in on you in a bit. If you get hungry let me know. I saved your
dinner in the kitchen. You really should
try to eat something.”
Hutch nodded and was dozing off before Kathy left the room.
Five more days went by and Starsky was showing no signs of improvement, but was getting weaker and more depleted. Hutch was allowed to be with him as much as he wanted now that he was released from the hospital. The nurses brought in a reclining chair for him as he was still in a lot of pain and weak. It was a Sunday and the ICU was quiet. Starsky required total care and today he had two nurses attending to him. Paula and Linda Berkley let Hutch have as much time alone with Starsky as they could, only coming in to check on the monitors, IV’s, chest tubes and the respirator among other things. Hutch was still not eating and had lost a noticeable amount of weight. Nothing mattered to him except Starsky and nothing existed outside of their world. He got a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach when Huggy and Dobey paid an unexpected visit.
“Cap? Huggy? What are you doing here?”
Huggy and Dobey exchanged glances, which didn’t go
unnoticed by Hutch. Something was
wrong, very wrong.
“Hutch, Starsky isn’t getting any better, you know that.”
“What are you trying to say Cap?”
Dobey wiped at his brow and moved closer to the blond. Huggy stood like a little boy who had just
stolen some candy from the corner drug store.
“Hutch, we need to talk.
Dr. Henry called me. He was
going to tell you. He asked me to be
here today. I brought Huggy. Edith stayed home with the kids, and…”
“Cap’n! What’s
going on? You’re starting to scare
me. What is it?”
“Do you remember when you and Dave had living wills drawn
up?”
Hutch lost any color he might have had. He remembered all too well. He and his partner made a promise to each
other over five years ago, that they would carry out the other’s wishes. It was both of their wishes that if there
was no hope of recovery from an illness, accident or disaster, that they would
not be kept alive by machines. They had
legal documents drawn up, not thinking that they would ever have to think about
them again. He felt sick.
“No.” Hutch took a
deep breath. “He’ll come around. Please, don’t let them…”
“Hutch, I’m sorry and I hate this just as much! I care about Dave too. You’re both like sons to me. I didn’t know how I was going to tell
you. Edith was too upset to come
today. I talked to Starsky’s mother
over the phone this morning. She still
has the flu and broke down when I told her.
She said that a neighbor would be staying with her. She…she knows that her son wouldn’t want to
be kept alive by machines and be like a vegetable for the rest of his life.”
“Why…why didn’t anyone tell me! Why am I the last to know?”
Hutch stopped, afraid of breaking down.
He wanted to be strong and knew of Starsky’s wishes. If it was the last thing he could do for his
partner, he would have to be strong.
They never broke promises to each other.
“I’m sorry Hutch.
I’m really sorry.”
Hutch looked over to his partner. Starsky looked so small buried in all of the machinery and
equipment. Without looking back at
Dobey, Hutch spoke softly, with a deep sadness in his voice.
“When? How long do
I have with him?”
“Tonight Hutch.
Eight pm is what Dr. Henry told me.
Huggy and I will be staying.
We’ll take you home after…”
“There is no home.
My home is with Starsky. I’d
like to be alone with him now. Thanks
Cap’n.”
Dobey reassured Hutch that he and Huggy would be outside in
the ICU waiting room and Huggy just squeezed his shoulder. Huggy was taking this very hard also. Starsky and Hutch were his best friends. He feared for Hutch, knowing he would never
be the same if Starsky wasn’t by his side, and he was feeling great loss for
Starsky.
It was going on five o’clock now. Hutch had three hours to be with his friend. He felt numb, but that didn’t stop the tears
and panic. He tried to calm his
breathing and stop his trembling. He
had to be strong. He felt he owed that
to his best friend.
Many of the nurses and technicians who had grown to adore
both men stopped in at various times.
They wanted to offer some comfort to the blond, if that was possible,
and they wanted to say their own goodbyes to Starsky. Hutch barley noticed who came and went, his entire focus was on
his partner. He studied Starsky’s
features, his perfect hands, hands that held onto his so many times before when
he needed them, and his thick curls.
The hours past by quickly, and Hutch found his anxiety
growing fiercely when he noticed that it was 7:45pm. Almost time. There was no
way he could prepare himself for what was to come. Dr. Visto asked if she could do anything for him and asked if he
would like the hospital chaplain called.
“Could you get a Rabbi?
He’s Jewish.” Hutch couldn’t
believe he was having this conversation.
It just wasn’t right or fair.
Julie nodded and had Lin Paul, her own private nurse make
the call. Dr. Henry entered the room
just then with the legal papers and did one more examination of his patient.
It was now 7:55pm.
Hutch was oblivious to all of the final preparations going on around him. His world was coming to an end, along with his partner’s life. Dr. Visto was studying Hutch, ready to act if he should crumble and Dr. Henry had signed the last of the legal papers, laying the file down on the bedside table. They were ready to begin.
“Wait…I want to sit with him.” Hutch looked pleadingly to Dr. Henry.
Dr. Visto supported the blond as he sat on the bed and
cradled Starsky in his arms. The nurses
had already begun to remove the IV’s, catheter, chest tubes and other
monitors. The only thing left now was
the respirator and the heart monitor, which would tell them when Starsky’s
heart stopped.
The Rabbi stood by
Starsky’s bed, saying mumbled prayers, and blessing his Jewish brother. He took hold of Hutch’s hand at one point
and said a prayer for him also, seeing the torment in the blond’s light blue
eyes, now swollen and red from silent tears.
“Starsky…God, I…I don’t know what to say. Just know that I love you. You made me who I am buddy. I’m right here Starsk; don’t be afraid, I
won’t let go. You wait for me
okay? You wait for me.” Not wanting to lose it, Hutch became silent
and rocked his partner back and forth, burying his head in Starsky’s
curls. An unexpected sob escaped and he
closed his eyes when he heard the respirator stop. There was silence in the room.
Dr. Henry and the other’s waited. They knew it would take a few minutes before Starsky’s body shut
down totally. Captain Dobey put an arm
around Huggy whose knees began to buckle and sat him down on a nearby
chair. The Rabbi stood next to the bed,
waiting to give a final blessing.
Two minutes had gone by and the heart monitor continued to
show a heartbeat. Hutch jumped a bit
when he heard his partner take in a sudden gasp of air. “Starsk?”
He put his head back down and held on even tighter to the warm body in
his arms. He braced himself when Dr. Visto
put her hand on his arm. He didn’t want
to hear that Starsky had passed.
“Ken? You need to
let go of him.”
“I can’t!” Hutch
managed to get out, his body now racked with sobs.
“It’s all right Ken.
David is breathing on his own.
Ken? He’s alive!”
Dr. Henry had removed the tracheostomy tube and put a
dressing over the wound. Starsky was
breathing on his own. Could they be
granted yet another miracle? There was
a flurry of activity in the room as IV’s were restarted and an oxygen mask was
placed over Starsky’s mouth and nose.
“Starsky? You’re doing it buddy! You’re breathing on your own!
Just keep it going….nice and easy.
I’ve got you…keep on breathing.”
Hutch’s tears were now tears of joy and hope. No one tried to pry Hutch away from Starsky. They would let him hold onto his breathing
friend as long as he wanted to. Hutch
felt as though he might never let go.
---
A week later, Starsky was awake and taking liquids. The tube in his throat had been removed, and
other than a very sore throat, he was feeling much better. The staff couldn’t be helpful enough to
their prize patient and to Hutch, all feeling that if it weren’t for the
blonde’s strong love and dedication, Starsky might not have came back to
them. Both men had become very special
too all of them. Linda Clever,
Starsky’s evening nurse, interrupted the cheerful banter going on between her
patient and his partner.
“Hi David, Ken. How
are you feeling tonight?”
“Well, I’d be feeling a lot better if I could have some ice
cream! Hutch won’t get it for me!”
“Starsky, you can’t have ice cream, you know I….”
“Just a little Huuuttccchhh. C’mon, I remember you telling me when I was sleeping, that you
would do anything for me if I woke up.
I woke up so I could have ICE CREAM!
It’s not like I’m asking for the world!”
“Starsk…you know….”
“Just forget it Hutch.
Next time you want something really bad, I’m gonna make you beg…. Let
you see what it feels like!” Starsky
put on his best pouting face, winking at Linda when Hutch wasn’t looking.
Linda jumped in.
“Well, you really aren’t supposed to have ice cream. Dr. Henry’s orders. How about some Italian
ice? You’re partner here brought some
Chocolate Italian ice in for you. It’s
in the freezer.”
Starsky looked dumbfounded. “They really make chocolate Italian ice? Hutch?
You did that for me?”
“Yeah! I was gonna
tell you I’d get you that instead of ice cream, but you wouldn’t let me get a
word in edgewise. I don’t know if I
should give it to you now though.”
“Hey…partner…buddy…pal…friend…”
“Okay, okay, okay…”
Hutch smiled and shook his head at his bright eyed, boyish partner, but
became suddenly serious.
“Hutch? You
okay?” Starsky reached up to take
Hutch’s cheek in his hand.
Hutch nodded.
“Yeah, I’m fine. You know… I’d
do anything for you buddy. Anything.”
“I know.” Starsky
could sense Hutch’s fear at how close they’d come to losing each other this
time. “Why do ya think I came back huh?
I love you too buddy.”
END