I Loved My Friend

 

By Kerry OK

 

 

"You wanna do another lap?"  Starsky said, egging on his obviously exhausted partner. "Starsk, we did five miles, but if you're game so am I."  Hutch was glad to see that his partner was his old self.  Granted it was a year since Gunther's attempt on his life but there were times he thought his buddy would never completely recover. They could finally put it all behind them now. 

 

This was going to be a new beginning.  They were going to get back to basics, cut the crap and stay healthy.  "Nah, I guess five is enough for today."  Starsky liked to see his partner back in shape.  The golden boy was back.  Hutch's attitude, enthusiasm and look were the Hutch he knew and loved.  The moustache was gone, courtesy of a lady that requested it's removal.  Starsky really thought that one was going somewhere for his partner, but it was not to be.  The ladies sure were attracted to cops but it didn’t take them long to get disillusioned with the life they led.  Hopefully he and Hutch would find the right ladies, someday.

 

"Alright then, showers and a light breakfast and we can hit the streets. I'll race ya."  Starsky said as he was already taking off for the car.  Hutch wasn't in the mood to race.  "I'll let you have this one, but I'll get you next time."  Hutch called to his partner.  "Hurry up Blondie, we got crimes to solve and suspects to round up."

 

"All units in the vicinity of DeLong and Brewster, there was a shooting, armed suspect last seen fleeing in that direction. White male, approximately 150lbs, 5'6" wearing a blue denim jacket and blue jeans."  Hutch picked up the receiver, "Zebra Three, we are responding."  "Hutch," Starsky protested, "We're not on yet, and I'm hungry."  "Hey buddy we are only two blocks away, and like you said crimes to solve, suspects…" Starsky cut him off, "Yeah, yeah."

 

Starsky pulled up next to a patrol car.  "Looks like a drug deal gone bad."  The officer told them.  "OK, we'll make a few passes."  Starsky said.  They drove around for a few blocks.  "Slow down, Starsk, I want to be able to look up the alleys."  "Stop the car! I think I see him." Hutch bolted out of the car.  "Hutch, wait up." Starsky was annoyed at his partner's zeal.  "Control, this is Zebra Three, we have spotted suspect in an alley off Gardiner.  We are in pursuit. Over."  Starsky  ran after his partner.

 

 

Starsky got into the alley but did not see Hutch.  'Damn, where are you Hutch' "Starsk." Hutch called in a hushed voice from a window above.  "He is in the building."  Starsky joined his partner and they carefully combed the halls.  A little boy was bouncing a basketball in the hallway.  "You looking for somebody?" He looked up at the two detectives.  "Yes," Hutch said, "Did you see a guy come in here?"  "Uh huh."  The boy nodded.  "Can you tell us where he went?"  "Uh huh."  The boy nodded again.  Hutch dug a dollar out of his pocket and handed it to the boy.  "Now can you tell me where he went?" "He went in there."  The boy pointed to Apt 2B.  "Thanks, buddy now could you please leave here and go get yourself an ice cream cone."  "Well the kind I like costs a $1.50." Hutch reached into his pocket and gave the kid another dollar.  "Now get outta here."  "Thanks mister." And with that the boy took off.  "Cute kid." Hutch said. "Yeah real cute, little hustler if you ask me." Starsky said shaking his head.  Hutch pounded on the door, "Police. Open up."  The man was pacing.  He looked out the window for an escape route, but there were uniforms out there.  "Police, open the door!"  The detectives counted, "One, two, three" and kicked in the door. "Drop it!" Hutch ordered.  The man quickly obliged.  Starsky cuffed him and read him his rights.

 

That was a productive way to start the day.  As they led the suspect out of the building an old homeless man asked for some money.  Hutch again dug into his pocket.  Starsky just shook his head and thought, 'The White Knight, no small wonder the guy is broke by payday.'

 

"You guys are late." Dobey barked.  "Well actually Captain, we're not late we…"  "I don't want to hear it Starsky, you and Hutchinson in my office NOW!"

 

Standing next to the captain's desk was the head of narcotics.  "Hello Starsky, Hutchinson."  Was the cool greeting from Captain Morrison.  "What can we do for you this fine morning?"  Hutch said trying to be courteous.  "Well Hutchinson it is really you we need." "Me?"  "We need you do go undercover as a buyer, we think you fit the part.  And being outside narco we figure there is less chance of your cover being blown. You speak Spanish and German I believe." "Yeah." Hutch replied, "I learned German from my grandmother and took it in college as well as Spanish."  "Well brush up Hutchinson. You are up for it?"  "Yes sir." 

 

"Wait a minute," Starsky interjected "When this goes down, I'm there for back up."  "Of course, Starsky." Dobey assured.  "Narcotics have really set the whole thing up. All you have to do Hutchinson is play the part of a Euro-dealer.  Morrison here figures you being tri-lingual is a bonus."  Morrison continued, "And your physical appearance is a plus, Aryan if you don't mind the comparison." Hutch just raised his eyebrows at the thought.  "The man you need to make contact with and convince is a neo-nazi. His name is Helmut Gruber. Here is a file on him, more than you need to know."  "I don't like Hutch going in alone."  Starsky said directly to Morrison. "That's the way it has to go down."  Morrison looked at Hutch. "Can we count on you?"  "I'm there," Hutch looked at his partner.  "What could go wrong, and you'll be there to back me up partner."  Starsky didn't answer, he knew only too well what could go wrong.

 

"OK Hutchinson, here is your passport and airline ticket.  You are booked at the Century Plaza Hotel. You check-in in two days."  "Got it."  Hutch said.  He and Starsky turned to leave.  "One more thing, stay off the streets, catch up on paper work.  I don't want your face out there right now." Dobey instructed. "Sounds like a plan." Hutch smiled and they left Dobey's office. 

 

"I don't like it." Starsky said tersely.  "Starsk you never like it when I go undercover alone. It will be fine.  Maybe I could sneak you up to the room, we can order the most expensive items on the room service menu and charge it to the department."  Hutch hoped to get a smile out of his partner.  "I don't like it."  "Fine no one says you have to like it."  "Let's get some paperwork done and then go to The Pits for lunch?"  "OK." Starsky said grudgingly.

 

"Welcome gentlemen." Huggy greeted his friends.  "What libations and edibles are you desiring this afternoon?"  "A cheeseburger deluxe will do just fine Huggy."  "And you Mr. Hutchinson?"  "The same."  "Hey Starsk, after we eat, I need to stop at the DMV to have my license renewed."  "Why don't you do that through the mail?"  "Because I get my picture on it." "Picture, why?" Starsky said with a mouth full of cheeseburger.  "Because Gordo, it isn't truly ID without a picture on it.  You'll see, soon a picture license will be a requirement."  "Fine, an afternoon at the DMV."

 

Starsky sat in his car listening to the radio.  Finally, his partner emerged and got into the car.  Starsky grabbed the license out of his hand before he could put it in his wallet.  "Hey, gimme that!" Hutch tried to grab it back. "Tsk Tsk, I wanna see this picture that kept me waiting for hours."  "It wasn't that long."  Hutch gave up trying to retrieve his license and waited for the snide remarks.  "Not too shabby Blondie." Starsky glanced at the back of the license. "Organ Donor?"  Hutch finally regained possession of his license. "Yeah, organ donor." "Doesn't that mean they chop you up for parts?"  Starsky said a little disturbed by the thought. "Yes genius, AFTER you are dead. Dead people don't need their "parts".  "I don't know Hutch, sounds awful Frankensteinish to me."  Hutch just shook his head, he didn't want to get into it.

 

Hutch checked into the hotel.  Starsky went under as hotel staff.  He wanted to be close to his partner.  Gruber made contact.  They would meet for lunch in the hotel.  Starsky was their waiter.  Little good he could do.  They spoke German the entire time. From what he could see the meeting was going well.  "Check, please." Gruber motioned to him.  'That he says in English.'  Starsky mused.  Hutch and Gruber shook hands.  Gruber was smiling.  'I guess the meeting went well.'  Hutch got stuck with the bill.  Starsky leaned over to his partner and whispered, "Order room service." Hutch nodded and handed Starsky the cash and headed to his room.  "No tip."  Starsky muttered.

 

Starsky delivered the room service.  "Well, what's the deal.  I don't speak German you know."  "The deal is set for tomorrow night at 10:00 pm at a place on the outskirts of the city."  Hutch wrote down the address and gave it to Starsky.  "I'll give this to Morrison.  You know Hutch I don't like you…" "Going in alone." Hutch finished.  "I'll have a wire, you and twenty other cops will be out there and believe me Gruber trusts me. I don't know if that is a good thing or bad, you know he thinks I am one of "the group." Hutch realized he wasn't going to get anything close to a smile from him.  Starsky looked right into Hutch's blue eyes, "BE CAREFUL." 

 

Hutch was as ready as he was going to be.  He had the wire on and he had a gun.  He didn't expect to be searched and he even felt they would let him keep his gun.  Gruber liked him, said he was one of his own.  He felt it when they shook hands.  This should be a clean bust.  In and out.  Hopefully he and Starsky would be having a beer at The Pits by 11:30, 12:00 at the latest.

 

Hutch entered the house.  He was right, no search.  Gruber ran up to him and gave him an embrace.  "Can I get you anything, my boy?"  Gruber said smiling.  Hutch decided it might be best to play along with the nicities and asked for a beer.  "Come sit.  This is my associate Carlos Perez."  Hutch felt a Spanish quiz coming on.  "Como esta usted?"  "Muy bien, gracias."  Hutch extended his hand to Perez and the men shook.

 

They bantered for awhile.  Starsky was going nuts listening to them switch from German, to Spanish to English.  But he also was impressed by how well Hutch was doing.  Hutch tried to move things along.  "I would love to talk all night with you gentlemen, but I am leaving tomorrow and could we get on with our business?"  Gruber rose and stood behind Hutch, he placed his hands on his shoulders.  "Yes, yes you are right my son.  Onto business." 'Son,' Hutch thought well is this guy ever going to be in for a rude awakening.

 

Starsky looked at Morrison. "Any minute now."  "Morrison nodded.  "But not a second too soon."  He put his hand on Starsky's arm more as a warning than to calm him down. 

 

Morrison saw a man headed for the house.  "Oh he did make it after all."  Starsky saw him too and couldn't believe it was the guy they busted in that building a few days ago.  "That guy can make Hutch!"  "What!?"  Morrison spat angrily, "Dobey told you guys to lay low!"  "We busted him before you gave Hutch the assignment." "He is as associate of Carlos Perez, his name is Manny, he was released because no witnesses could make a positive ID, or didn't want to." Morrison explained.  Starsky was about to leap out of the car.  Morrison grabbed him.  "NO! You can't blow it now."  "What do you mean, once that guy is in there it is blown and my partner is in there!" 

 

At that moment, the signal was heard "Well gentlemen it has been a pleasure doing business with you."  Starsky bolted out of the car.  The cops converged on the house.  Manny ran inside.  "COPS, EVERYWHERE!"  He screamed.  Carlos looked at Gruber, "I am not interested in a shootout, you Gruber? I guess we give it up and let the lawyers sort it out."  Manny pointed at Hutch, "Carlos, he's a cop."  Carlos just shrugged, "Of course there usually is an inside man. Gruber you FOOL!" Carlos spat. "Just because he looks like you dead son.  They played you right."   Gruber ran out the door.

 

Starsky ran in and was relieved to see his partner unhurt. He started rounding up the suspects.  Hutch headed after Gruber.  "Hutch where you going?"  Then he realized he didn’t see Gruber.

 

 "Gruber - FREEZE."  Hutch commanded. "Drop the gun."  Gruber obeyed. Hutch kicked it aside.  He turned to Hutch, he looked like a wounded man. He felt he had just been betrayed.  "I trusted you."  His voice trembled.  "You were supposed to."  Gruber broke into tears and fell to his knees. "Come on, up Gruber, hands against the wall.  Starsky was now behind his partner.  "Everything under control partner?"  "Yeah I think so. Come on Gruber, get up."  Hutch moved toward him cautiously, gun drawn.  Gruber looked Hutch in the eyes and drew a small pistol from an ankle holster and fired at Hutch.  Starsky couldn’t believe it.  "Damn!"  "GRUBER DROP THE WEAPON!" He just smiled at Starsky and placed the gun to his temple and fired.

 

The shots got Morrison and another officer to their location.  "Call an ambulance!"  Starsky screamed. "Gruber is dead. My partner is wounded."  Starsky knelt by Hutch.  "How are you doing, where were you hit?"  Starsky searched his body but didn't see anything.  "My head hurts."  Hutch rubbed his forehead.  Then Starsky saw it.  A small entrance wound.  Hutch felt the blood on his head, then verified what he felt by what he saw on his hand.  "I guess he got me, I can't believe I didn't see that coming Starsk." "Yeah, I didn't see it either."  Starsky looked at his partner trying to hide his concern. When he saw the wound all he could think of was Terry.  "It looks like just a scratch, I think the bullet just grazed your hard head."  "You think so, it doesn’t feel that way."  Hutch closed his eyes but quickly opened them again but it was dark.  "Starsk, where are you?"  Hutch had panic in his voice.  "I'm right here, looking at your ugly mug."  "I can't see you Starsky."  Starsky couldn't believe what his friend said.  "What do you mean, you can't see me?"  "Just what I said, I can’t see anything." Now thoughts of Emily came into his mind.  'My God what was this bullet doing to him.'  Hutch blinked again.  "Wait, now you are just blurry."  He blinked again.  "Now there you are."  "How many fingers I got up?'" Starsky asked intensely  "Three." Hutch smiled.  "Okay, good."

 

The paramedics arrived.  They placed Hutch on the stretcher.  Starsky followed them out to the ambulance.  "I'm coming with you."  "No Starsk, you can't leave you car here.  I'll see you at the hospital. Really its okay." His tone told Starsky not to push the issue. "Fine see you in a few."  Starsky helped them put Hutch into the ambulance.  Hutch was grateful he could convince his friend not to ride along.  He couldn't see again.  He didn't want to worry him.

 

Starsky called Dobey and Huggy.  He wasn't about to pace the hospital corridors alone. "How is he?"  Dobey asked.  "I don't know anything, Captain. He took a shot to the head. I've gotta take a walk. I'll be right back. You guys stay here."  "Of course."  Huggy looked at Captain Dobey, "WHY? Why do these things keep happening to these guys.  They deserve better."  "Yes they do, but they are good cops, no more than that, they are the best detectives I have ever had the pleasure to know.  They put themselves out there and that is why they get hurt." Huggy nodded in agreement. "I know, but it still ain't fair."

 

The dark haired detective came back just in time to see his fair-haired partner being put into a room.  He couldn't believe what he saw.  Hutch was attached to more machines than he could ever imagine.  He saw a doctor approach Dobey, who immediately directed him to Starsky.  "Detective Starsky, I am Dr. Adam Goldman.  "Yes, how's he doing."  "Come with me." The doctor said gently. "We need to talk."  "I'm not going anywhere, we can talk here."  "Fine." The doctor conceded.  He didn't want to further agitate Starsky .

 

 "I see in his file that you are his partner, he has instructed that you can make decisions for him although Detective Hutchinson was very careful that his wishes be known. All the necessary legal documents are here."  "What are you talking about wishes. I just want to know how my partner is."  "Detective, your partner is dead."  The doctor just said it.  Starsky looked blankly at him, as if he didn't understand.  "I just saw nurses bring him into a room. I mean he didn't look to good but he wasn't dead either."   "Detective, he is brain dead.  You saw all those machines, they are keeping his body alive.  He is an organ donor."  Starsky was not grasping his words.  Dobey and Huggy had been standing there and they heard what Starsky heard, but knew he wasn't ready for this.

 

"I was just talking to him a couple of hours ago. He lost his vision but that came back."  Starsky was trying to make sense of what the doctor was saying.  "Yes his vision came and went again.  But the bullet was inoperable and it moved quickly, ultimately causing brain death.  I am so sorry."  "Starsky." Huggy put his arm around him.  "I'm going in to see my partner."  "Take as long as you need." The doctor left them.

 

Starsky went into Hutch's room.  He called his name. "Hutch."  No response.  He just lay there, still.  Eyes closed.  Starsky would give anything if those blue eyes would open.  The only sound was the humming of the machines. Starsky just sat next to his bedside. He kept telling himself that Hutch would wake up any time now. He was not ready to accept that his partner had died.

 

The doctor asked Huggy to speak to Starsky. He had been in with Hutch for hours. Huggy entered the room.  He went over to Hutch, touched his hand and said his own silent goodbye. 

 

"Starsky, you have been in here a long time. You really got to leave, the doctors have to do what, what Hutch wanted."  "I can't leave Hug, because when I do, he's gone."  "Starsky, you could stay here for 100 years, and Hutch would still be gone.  That ain't him there anyway.  That is just his body.  Hutch's soul, well it is in a better place." "What better place, I WANT HIM HERE WITH ME!"  "Starsky calm down, I know, but that just ain't the way it is. I think of Hutch with Gillian now and hanging with Terry.  Starsky he wouldn't want you doing this.  Now come with me.  It is time.  Hutch wanted it this way."  Finally Starsky understood.  "Give me a minute Huggy, I promise, I'll be right out."

 

Starsky looked at his partner.  "Well I guess this is goodbye my friend. I don't know what I am going to do without you.   But you still have more work to do.  The White Knight, even in death you are saving lives."  Starsky leaned over and kissed him on the forehead.  He left the room and didn't look back.  Dobey went in for a minute to say his goodbye.

 

The grieving detective was headed for the elevator, when the doctor stopped him.  "Detective, this was with Detective, you partner's papers."  He handed him a white envelope with Starsk written on it.  Starsky looked at it then put it in his pocket.  He stepped into the day, it was light out but it was raining.  He got into his car and drove.  He wound up at Hutch's, but he had no idea how he got there.

 

Hutch's car was parked in front.  'He must be home.' Starsky thought.  He took the key from above the door and went into the apartment.  It was quiet and dark.  He walked into his bedroom.  Not in there.  He went into the greenhouse.  Not in there either.  He sat on the couch. He looked around the empty apartment and it wasn't until now that he felt the full impact of his partner's death.  Hutch was gone from him forever. He took the envelope out of his pocket and placed it on the coffee table.  He wanted to read it.  He picked it up, put it down, up, down.  Finally he found the courage.  He cried as he read it, but yet he found comfort in the words.

 

                        Dear Starsk,

 

            Well buddy, if you are reading this letter, that means I died.  And I know that you are feeling like the whole world has come to an end and you will never be able to endure the pain.  I know this because I felt that way those few minutes that you were gone.  I know what you are thinking.  This is different.  I'm not coming back, but buddy I promise I am still with you.  You don't think I would let you ride around in that striped tomato all by yourself.  Put your hand over your heart.  Just do it. There you found me.  You see, I am right there in your heart.  Whenever you need me, you know where to find me.  I will be with you always.

 

            Now Starsk, you have to be strong.  You have more life to live.  Live it to the fullest.  We don't know how long we have.  So live each day to the max.  I did buddy.  I really did.  I had a good life.  I want you to find Ms. Wonderful, get married and have a couple of kids (name one after me).  Keep being the best cop you can be.  Take care of yourself and remember I am with you always, I told you where to find me.  What I want is that when you do remember me, you remember me with a smile.

 

            Well, bye buddy.  I'll be watching you, until we meet again.

 

I love you partner,

 

                        Hutch

 

Starsky sat in the pew.  He heard the rain lightly tapping the stained glass.  It had been raining for three days.  Would it ever stop?  He listened to the eloquent words spoken about his friend.  He knew he would speak.  He didn't have to, but he wanted to.  He hadn't prepared anything.  He just gripped the small poem book in his hand.  The book was Hutch's.  It was where he found the words that explained exactly how he felt.  A five line poem, written by Langston Hughes.  Huggy finished and Starsky stepped up to the pulpit.  He opened the book to the poem but he didn't need to look down, it was etched upon his heart, it spoke what was there.  He began, his voice thick with emotion:

 

 

 

I loved my friend

He went away from me

There is nothing more to say

This poem ends, soft as it began

I loved my friend

 

Starsky stepped down.  Nothing more need be said.  The organist began playing "Amazing Grace".  Starsky took his place among the pall bearers and lifted his partner's casket.  It was headed for the airport.  Mr. and Mrs. Hutchinson were bringing their son home to Minnesota.  The golden boy would be buried in the Hutchinson family mausoleum.

 

The procession left the church.   The rain had stopped.  As Starsky helped place the casket into the hearse he looked to the sky and saw a small patch of blue breaking through the clouds.  Blue, he thought he would never see that color again.  Then the sun broke through.  He felt it on his cheek, his neck and on his shoulder.  Hutch's hand on his shoulder.  Starsky placed his hand over his heart.  'There you are.'  And he smiled.

 

 

 

ALTERNATE ENDING

 

For those who only want happy endings.  I like them better too, but I couldn't get that one out of my head.

 

The dark haired detective came back just in time to see his fair-haired partner being brought into a room.  'Hutch didn't look too bad.' He thought.  Dobey sent the doctor to him. "Detective Starsky, I'm Dr. Adam Goldman."  "Yeah, doc, how's he doing." "I am pleased to say he will be just fine.  We were able to remove bullet."  "His vision," Starsky questioned, "He was having trouble."  "Yes I know, that is because the bullet was pressing on the optic nerve, but we got it, he'll have no ill effects. He is a very lucky man." "I'm the lucky one doc. Can I see him?"  "Sure, he's probably still groggy, give him a few minutes."

 

Starsky went into Hutch's room.  He would just sit here until he woke up.  Starsky nodded out.  "Starsk?" Hutch called weakly.  "Yeah, right here buddy, how you feeling?" "Like I was hit over the head with a sledgehammer."  "Doc says you're going to be alright."  "Starsky, you don't look so good, go home, get some sleep.   I'll see you in the morning.  I'm beat, you don't need to watch me sleep."  "OK pal, see you in the morning." "Starsk," "Yeah buddy."  "Do you ever think we'll be pre-disastered? "Huh?" Starsky said wearily.  "You know, that we'll have been knocked around enough that we finally stop getting hurt."  "I hope so Hutch, I sure the hell hope so."

 

 

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