We spent a
half a month absolutely terrified just to find out it’s nothing.
And now…
well… it’s weird. After the initial
“Thank God” reaction, we both sort of felt… like we’d lost something, I guess.
“I guess I
was getting used to it… figuring out what’d have to happen,” Lyria told me,
finally calm. “It’s sort of like I was…
well, you know… and then we lost it.”
At the time
I didn’t know (or really care) what she was talking about, so I’d just pulled
her close and whirled her around. I sort
of know what she meant now, though. Like
I said, it’s weird.
And I don’t
know why, either. We’d talked about it
again and if she *had* been, we were going to get married & set up house
and all. Maybe that was part of it, that
we were going to be married. Maybe it
was more… something else. Like the idea
had sort of sunk in. Anyway, she’s not,
I’m not going to be someone’s parent, and for that I’m practically dancing with
glee.
A
year and six months today. Wow.
Don’t think either Lyri or I expected we’d stay together this long. Anyway, much planned so
more later on how that turns out.
“You started
looking into who you’ll be playing Quidditch for next year?” He’d asked, lounging in one of the squishy
chairs.
“I’m not
playing Quidditch. I’m going to be an
Auror.”
“You know
Lyria’s already studying for her NEWTs?”
“Yeah, and
nagging me to do the same, but they *are* kind of important if I think I’m
going to be an Auror. So I might
actually look at the books before I take them.”
So on the
Auror thing, I’ve applied to the program and should hear in mid-April or so.
~Later…
Ah, the
rewards of good planning. But yet spending time with Lyria has a
tendency to make my brain hurt lately.
She was
snuggled up next to me and I was just thinking that I liked it… in fact, I decided I liked it so much I could do it every
day.
Which
immediately make me stop and panic.
Did I want
to marry her? Live with her? Could I live with her and not marry her? Probably not, her father’d
likely kill me.
It was only
the second time I’d had that sort of a thought, though. It probably wasn’t time to panic yet.
“What are
you thinking?” She asked after a
minute.
I hadn’t
even noticed she was awake; contrary to all the myths, it’s usually Lyria who
falls asleep afterward. “About you. I love
you.”
She rested
her head against me. “I love you too…
suddenly gotten introspective on me?”
I
snorted. “Wouldn’t go *that* far. I was just thinking we never expected to last
this long,” I fibbed a bit.
“But we
did. And so far so good, save a few
skirmishes.”
I kissed the
top of her head. “Especially
lately. Have I finally grown up
enough for you?” I teased.
She looked
at me. “Don’t grow up, Sirius. Never. Stay just exactly like you are… everyone
needs someone like you.”
I just
pulled her closer for a few minutes before we made ourselves presentable and
parted for the night.
I have made
a big giant life altering decision over the past week and some.
I think I’m
going to ask Lyri to marry me. Not right
away or anything, we could be engaged for a while and I think that’d be good
for us both. But I guess I’m just really
scared to lose her with the war, and I want us to stay together. Permanently.
See, I
thought about what I wanted and eventually figured out I was describing us
being married while avoiding the word. So… I’m over it and I’m going to ask.
Soon.
Well, as
soon as I can make myself ask.
Letters are
arriving for students who applied for Auror training, and for the first time in
my life I think I’ve got a case of nerves, because I’m feeling rather sick.
So far three
people have been rejected, so I’m hoping that no news is good news right now…
~Later
Another
batch of letters, but Lyria went and made me promise not to open mine until we
open them together. It’s definitely a
girl thing. But I agreed and now I’m
going nuts.
~Even Later
I GOT IN!
So did Lyri,
but that’s not as important because she’s brilliant and all but if we get
married I’m going to take care of her anyway, but I got in!
Training
starts really soon after graduation, actually, but I reckon they need all the
help they can get. Provided, of course,
acceptable grades for my NEWTs, otherwise they just
revoke it and you’re left hanging. But I
know I’ll be able to handle it, even potions, I did on the OWLs
after all and I didn’t even study.
So it looks
like Lyria and I will both be Aurors…
I should
never, never have let slip to Prongs that I’m going to ask Lyria to marry
me. He told
Besides,
she’s probably going to say no. And even
if she doesn’t, it’ll be a while before we actually *do* get married, so we
don’t need to be making plans or anything.
Furthermore,
every time I try to make plans to ask her I nearly crap my pants and
deliberately get myself detention so we have to postpone.
I’m trying
to convince myself asking on our two-year would be cute but I don’t think it’ll
work because we’ll both be too involved in our training by then. I think I’ve got to ask now, soon, before I
lose the chance. Too much could go wrong
if I wait that long.
So tomorrow
in Hogsmeade I think I’m going ring shopping.
I’m going to
be sick.
I went and
bought it today, all by myself.
Anyway, it’s
white gold with a round cut diamond and sapphire side stones. Not that I much care but at least I’ll be
able to sound smart about it. It’s
pretty, as far as jewelry goes, and for some reason I thought of Lyria when I
saw it. So now I need to figure out how
& when to ask her, because now that I’ve got the thing I swear it’s burning
a hole in my pocket.
It’s still
in my pocket.
I *finally*
did it today… I reckon it’s probably the 29th now, though. It’s got to be pretty late.
Anyway, I
blindfolded her and brought her up to the roof.
There’s a flat area, on top of the
“You really
don’t want us to be found, do you?” She
teased lightly.
I smiled
despite the feeling like something was braiding my intestines. “I really don’t.” The basket was sitting nicely on top of a
deep red blanket.
“Sirius…
this is really, really sweet.”
“It gets
better.”
“You hope.”
I had to
laugh. “I don’t even mean that this
time.”
“Not that
you’d complain.”
“No, can’t
say I would. But I reckon we’d better
wait until after dark if you want dessert.”
I winked.
Lyria
laughed softly and kissed my cheek. I
wrapped an arm around her companionably, and we had a whole little picnic on
the roof until just after sunset.
“There’s
something else in that basket,” I tried to sound casual but my voice rather
wobbled. Damnit.
“Siri… are
you alright?”
I just
nodded, not speaking this time.
She gave me
a peculiar ‘if you say so’ sort of look and obediently opened the basket. The closed ring box was there, right in the
center in the bottom of the basket. She
pulled it out. “Sirius?” And this time it was her voice that wobbled.
I leaned
over and opened the box. “I want you to
marry me, Lyria. Please. I mean… it doesn’t have to be right away like
Lily and James are doing, but it could be if you want, but I don’t want to lose
you and there’s a war going on and all, and if you say no I’ll understand but I
really want you to be my wife someday…”
I realized I was babbling but couldn’t seem to stop myself.
Lyria leaned
over and kissed me, cutting me off. “Yes, Sirius.”
I blinked, then gently took the ring box from her. “Can- can I put this on you?”
She nodded,
watering up a little bit, and I slid the ring onto her finger. It fit perfectly, and I mentally congratulated
myself on an excellent guess. “I love
you, Lyria.”
“I love you…
so much… I thought you didn’t want to get married.”
“You said
you didn’t either,” I pointed out.
“Well that’s
because I thought you didn’t want to, and I didn’t want you feeling like you
had to, and you’re right, I don’t think we should right away.”
“Well… I
didn’t want to. At least I didn’t think
I did… but I thought about it, and I kept thinking to myself how I could be
with you the rest of my life, and eventually I figured out I was describing a
marriage without using the word. I love
you, I know I love you, and while I’m *really* glad you want to wait a little
bit, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Lyri.”
A single
tear escaped her. “That’s the sweetest
thing you’ve ever said to me.”
We snogged a little bit, but nothing more than that, then
stayed up talking until we realized it had to be past midnight, when I
carefully helped her back down into the building and we went back to Gryffindor
Tower. For once it was just a perfectly
polite kiss good night while I waited for her to fall asleep, then slipped back into my own dormitory. Where
And now, I’m
going to bed because I’m finding it difficult to see straight.