March 4th, 1979

 

We spent a half a month absolutely terrified just to find out it’s nothing. 

 

And now… well… it’s weird.  After the initial “Thank God” reaction, we both sort of felt… like we’d lost something, I guess.

 

“I guess I was getting used to it… figuring out what’d have to happen,” Lyria told me, finally calm.  “It’s sort of like I was… well, you know… and then we lost it.”

 

At the time I didn’t know (or really care) what she was talking about, so I’d just pulled her close and whirled her around.  I sort of know what she meant now, though.  Like I said, it’s weird.

 

And I don’t know why, either.  We’d talked about it again and if she *had* been, we were going to get married & set up house and all.  Maybe that was part of it, that we were going to be married.  Maybe it was more… something else.  Like the idea had sort of sunk in.  Anyway, she’s not, I’m not going to be someone’s parent, and for that I’m practically dancing with glee.

 

 

March 14th, 1979

 

A year and six months today.  Wow.  Don’t think either Lyri or I expected we’d stay together this long.  Anyway, much planned so more later on how that turns out.

 

Lily and James have been possessed by some dark spell which causes them to constantly snuggle and make wedding plans.  It’s getting rather sickening.  I mean, we’re all happy for them and all but I’m really starting to hope they shut up about it soon.   Although I did manage to have a semi-normal wedding free conversation with Prongs earlier.

 

“You started looking into who you’ll be playing Quidditch for next year?”  He’d asked, lounging in one of the squishy chairs. 

 

“I’m not playing Quidditch.  I’m going to be an Auror.”

 

“You know Lyria’s already studying for her NEWTs?”

 

“Yeah, and nagging me to do the same, but they *are* kind of important if I think I’m going to be an Auror.  So I might actually look at the books before I take them.”

 

James faked a heart attack and fell out of the chair.

 

So on the Auror thing, I’ve applied to the program and should hear in mid-April or so.

 

~Later…

 

Ah, the rewards of good planning.  But yet spending time with Lyria has a tendency to make my brain hurt lately.

 

She was snuggled up next to me and I was just thinking that I liked it… in fact, I decided I liked it so much I could do it every day. 

 

Which immediately make me stop and panic.

 

Did I want to marry her?  Live with her?  Could I live with her and not marry her?  Probably not, her father’d likely kill me.

 

It was only the second time I’d had that sort of a thought, though.  It probably wasn’t time to panic yet.

 

“What are you thinking?”  She asked after a minute. 

 

I hadn’t even noticed she was awake; contrary to all the myths, it’s usually Lyria who falls asleep afterward.  “About you.  I love you.”

 

She rested her head against me.  “I love you too… suddenly gotten introspective on me?”

 

I snorted.  “Wouldn’t go *that* far.  I was just thinking we never expected to last this long,” I fibbed a bit.

 

“But we did.  And so far so good, save a few skirmishes.”

 

I kissed the top of her head.  “Especially lately.  Have I finally grown up enough for you?”  I teased.

 

She looked at me.  “Don’t grow up, Sirius.  Never.  Stay just exactly like you are… everyone needs someone like you.” 

 

I just pulled her closer for a few minutes before we made ourselves presentable and parted for the night.

 

March 25th, 1979

 

I have made a big giant life altering decision over the past week and some.

 

I think I’m going to ask Lyri to marry me.  Not right away or anything, we could be engaged for a while and I think that’d be good for us both.  But I guess I’m just really scared to lose her with the war, and I want us to stay together.  Permanently. 

 

See, I thought about what I wanted and eventually figured out I was describing us being married while avoiding the word.  So… I’m over it and I’m going to ask.

 

Soon.

 

Well, as soon as I can make myself ask.

 

April 12th, 1979

 

Letters are arriving for students who applied for Auror training, and for the first time in my life I think I’ve got a case of nerves, because I’m feeling rather sick.

 

So far three people have been rejected, so I’m hoping that no news is good news right now…

 

~Later

 

Another batch of letters, but Lyria went and made me promise not to open mine until we open them together.  It’s definitely a girl thing.  But I agreed and now I’m going nuts.  Frank Longbottom and Alice Pendlebury both got in, though, so I’m thinking that’s a good sign.

 

~Even Later

 

I GOT IN!

 

So did Lyri, but that’s not as important because she’s brilliant and all but if we get married I’m going to take care of her anyway, but I got in! 

 

Training starts really soon after graduation, actually, but I reckon they need all the help they can get.  Provided, of course, acceptable grades for my NEWTs, otherwise they just revoke it and you’re left hanging.  But I know I’ll be able to handle it, even potions, I did on the OWLs after all and I didn’t even study. 

 

So it looks like Lyria and I will both be Aurors…

 

 

April 14th, 1979

 

I should never, never have let slip to Prongs that I’m going to ask Lyria to marry me.  He told Lily, and now they’re planning our wedding in addition to theirs and I *really* want to kill them.

 

Besides, she’s probably going to say no.  And even if she doesn’t, it’ll be a while before we actually *do* get married, so we don’t need to be making plans or anything.

 

Furthermore, every time I try to make plans to ask her I nearly crap my pants and deliberately get myself detention so we have to postpone.

 

I’m trying to convince myself asking on our two-year would be cute but I don’t think it’ll work because we’ll both be too involved in our training by then.  I think I’ve got to ask now, soon, before I lose the chance.  Too much could go wrong if I wait that long.

 

So tomorrow in Hogsmeade I think I’m going ring shopping. 

 

I’m going to be sick.

 

April 15th, 1979

 

I went and bought it today, all by myself.  Lily wanted to help but I pretty much chased her away and told her I could do it myself, thank you very much.  I wasn’t as sure when I walked in but I think I managed quite well. 

 

Anyway, it’s white gold with a round cut diamond and sapphire side stones.  Not that I much care but at least I’ll be able to sound smart about it.  It’s pretty, as far as jewelry goes, and for some reason I thought of Lyria when I saw it.  So now I need to figure out how & when to ask her, because now that I’ve got the thing I swear it’s burning a hole in my pocket.

 

April 25th, 1979

 

It’s still in my pocket.

 

April 28th, 1979

 

I *finally* did it today… I reckon it’s probably the 29th now, though.  It’s got to be pretty late. 

 

Anyway, I blindfolded her and brought her up to the roof.  There’s a flat area, on top of the North Tower, that no one knows about… I might actually be the only one who does, because I’ve never told Peter or James or Remus about it, even.  But it’s gorgeous on a clear night, and you can look down and see the Quidditch pitch and the lake and everything.  So I ran down to the kitchens and prepared a picnic (although of course that included a run down a certain passageway to Hogsmeade as well), had it up waiting for us and everything, then went and got Lyria. 

 

“You really don’t want us to be found, do you?”  She teased lightly.

 

I smiled despite the feeling like something was braiding my intestines.  “I really don’t.”  The basket was sitting nicely on top of a deep red blanket.

 

“Sirius… this is really, really sweet.”

 

“It gets better.”

 

“You hope.”

 

I had to laugh.  “I don’t even mean that this time.”

 

“Not that you’d complain.”

 

“No, can’t say I would.  But I reckon we’d better wait until after dark if you want dessert.”  I winked.

 

Lyria laughed softly and kissed my cheek.  I wrapped an arm around her companionably, and we had a whole little picnic on the roof until just after sunset.

 

“There’s something else in that basket,” I tried to sound casual but my voice rather wobbled.  Damnit.

 

“Siri… are you alright?”

 

I just nodded, not speaking this time.

 

She gave me a peculiar ‘if you say so’ sort of look and obediently opened the basket.  The closed ring box was there, right in the center in the bottom of the basket.  She pulled it out.  “Sirius?”  And this time it was her voice that wobbled.

 

I leaned over and opened the box.  “I want you to marry me, Lyria.  Please.  I mean… it doesn’t have to be right away like Lily and James are doing, but it could be if you want, but I don’t want to lose you and there’s a war going on and all, and if you say no I’ll understand but I really want you to be my wife someday…”  I realized I was babbling but couldn’t seem to stop myself.

 

Lyria leaned over and kissed me, cutting me off.  “Yes, Sirius.”

 

I blinked, then gently took the ring box from her.  “Can- can I put this on you?”

 

She nodded, watering up a little bit, and I slid the ring onto her finger.  It fit perfectly, and I mentally congratulated myself on an excellent guess.  “I love you, Lyria.”

 

“I love you… so much… I thought you didn’t want to get married.”

 

“You said you didn’t either,” I pointed out.

 

“Well that’s because I thought you didn’t want to, and I didn’t want you feeling like you had to, and you’re right, I don’t think we should right away.”

 

“Well… I didn’t want to.  At least I didn’t think I did… but I thought about it, and I kept thinking to myself how I could be with you the rest of my life, and eventually I figured out I was describing a marriage without using the word.  I love you, I know I love you, and while I’m *really* glad you want to wait a little bit, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Lyri.”

 

A single tear escaped her.  “That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

 

We snogged a little bit, but nothing more than that, then stayed up talking until we realized it had to be past midnight, when I carefully helped her back down into the building and we went back to Gryffindor Tower.  For once it was just a perfectly polite kiss good night while I waited for her to fall asleep, then slipped back into my own dormitory.  Where James, Remus, Peter, and Frank Longbottom demanded the entire story before I sat down to write.  (None of them believed all we did was snog.)

 

And now, I’m going to bed because I’m finding it difficult to see straight.

 

 

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