Did he tell you or did you discover it for yourself? Did you have any ideas or clues that something was just a "little different" about this guy? Now what? What will you do? Should you stay or should you go? Decisions, decisions... and choices, your choices, too! The facts are, you think he's not "the man" you fell in love with, but you're wrong. He hasn't changed. He's finally gotten up the courage to share with you a part of him, the "her" side of him. If you're honest with yourself, you'll realize that some facets of "his" personality are "hers"... the tenderness, the intuitiveness, the attentiveness, the sensi-tivity. "She" was always there, "she" is what probably drew you to him in the first place. All of him is who you fell in love with and part of him is "her".

You're hurt, maybe even devastated! How could this happen to you? You're angry! How could you not see this coming? How could he do this to you? And what do you do now? How do you deal with the family, children and friends?

My practical suggestions are: Keep open communications with each other. Learn as much as you can, take it in small doses if you need to... it's a lot to digest. Seek support from those you truly trust and respect. Allow yourself to mourn or cry or pitch a fit! Discuss what are acceptable appearances of "her", WHEN AND WHERE!

Understand these things... you are most certainly not alone in this situation or journey. You did NOTHING to cause this in your personal life's plan. You CAN control what you are willing to accept and deal with. Your femininity is NOT in jeopardy. You are NOT of a lesbian persuasion. You have a right to your feelings.

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